Welcome to Selfish Parenting - where we flip the script on everything society tells you about being a "good parent."
I'm Chance Hinder-Lane (@hindirlane), and I'm here to tell you that what society calls selfish, we call sustainable parenting.
Tired of the guilt? Done with the burnout culture? Ready to stop people-pleasing your way through parenthood? You're in the right place.
This isn't your typical parenting podcast filled with shoulds and shouldn'ts. We're here to give you permission to: Hire help without guilt Prioritize your career AND your kids Say no to activities that drain you Invest in your mental health and identity Maintain adult relationships and interests Spend money on yourself Set boundaries that actually work
Every episode, we dive deep into the "selfish" behaviors that research shows actually make you a better parent. From working mothers to stay-at-home parents demanding respect, from therapy to solo vacations - we're covering it all with science, sass, and zero shame.
Because here's the truth: Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family.
New episodes drop every Monday at 7am Follow @hindirlane for daily doses of sustainable parenting content
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Données mises à jour le 25/09/2026
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17. Changing the Default Parent | Why We Swapped Seats for a Year
Épisode 17
lundi 21 septembre 2026 • Durée 37:24
Okay, real talk: when your kid wakes up with a 102 fever on a Tuesday morning, whose phone rings first? Whose calendar gets cleared? Whose career takes the permanent hit? We celebrate equality on paper, and then life gets messy, and somehow, the woman's dreams get quietly shelved. For the past year, my husband and I decided to break that. He stepped back, took the primary parent seat, and I went all-in on my career. I was able to launch a non-profit, scale my brand across five countries, and proved that mothers don't have to shrink to make their families thrive. Today, we're breaking down the practical framework for taking turns in marriage, and the four rules that actually make it work.
How to set explicit seasons (not open-ended sacrifice) so one partner can sprint while the other anchors, plus how quarterly check-ins keep both people aligned
Why "mom knows best" is usually just "mom has had more practice" and how to challenge the myth that fathers are less capable caregivers
The four non-negotiable rules for taking turns: set expiration dates, dismantle the default parent reflex at schools/daycares, reframe male caregiving as strategic teamwork, and practice zero micromanagement
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
16. Is Marriage Worth It for Women? Feat. Yvette Henry
Épisode 16
mardi 9 juin 2026 • Durée 55:42
Marriage can be beautiful, fulfilling, stretching, and deeply intimate, but it is not something I can honestly talk about for women without also talking about the risk, the labor, and the reality of what so many wives are carrying. In this conversation, I sit down with Yvette Henry to talk about what 15 years of marriage has taught her, why she still believes marriage can be worth it, and why I struggle to tell women that marriage is automatically worth it for them. We talk about choosing well, the limits of that advice, unpaid labor, faith-based expectations, the Proverbs 31 woman, emotional exhaustion, and what it means to stop performing wifehood and actually live inside a marriage that makes room for your whole self. Yvette also shares the heart behind her devotional Release, Rest, Remain, and why permission to rest is not something we need to wait for from our husbands, our children, the church, or the world… it is something we have to learn how to give ourselves.
Yvette Henry is a homeschooling mother of four, writer, and co-host of the podcast How Married Are You? alongside her husband, Glen. She has been married for 15 years, has built an incredible online community as Mrs. Melanin, and is the author of the devotional Release, Rest, Remain.
15. The Mental Load Is the Invisible Job with Paige Connell of @SheIsAPaigeTurner
Épisode 15
lundi 25 mai 2026 • Durée 45:40
There is a kind of exhaustion that does not come from doing one more load of laundry or packing one more lunch – it comes from being the person who knows everything that needs to happen before anyone else even thinks to ask. In this episode, I’m joined by Paige Connell, known online as @SheIsAPaigeTurner, for a conversation about the part of the mental load that feels the most frustrating to name out loud: why so many women are expected to manage the home, explain the standards, teach their partners how to participate, and then somehow not feel resentful about it. We talk about default parenting, invisible labor, willing partners, outsourcing, the difference between helping and owning, and what it actually takes to stop being the project manager of your family.
Paige Connell is a content creator, writer, speaker, consultant, podcaster, and mom of four. Online, she is known as @SheIsAPaigeTurner, where she creates content about the mental load, equitable partnerships, motherhood, and what it means to build a home where both partners truly participate.
14. Unpacking Church Trauma & Refusing to Raise my Daughters in Shame
Épisode 14
lundi 11 mai 2026 • Durée 45:38
I grew up in the church. I prayed, I read my Bible, I believed God was the reason my family survived some of the hardest things we ever went through. Faith grounded me, especially as a refugee kid trying to make sense of losing everything and starting over. But I also grew up hearing that my body was a problem, that my value lived in my virginity, that motherhood was my highest calling, and that men’s comfort mattered more than women’s safety. In this episode, I’m talking about Christianity, modesty culture, Mormonism, Congolese churches, motherhood, and the part of faith that still feels confusing for me. I still pray. I still believe in God. I still find comfort in parts of the Bible. I also know I cannot raise my daughters inside the same shame, fear, and patriarchy that made me question my own body, my own freedom, and my own worth. This is where I am right now: grieving the church community I loved, questioning what I was taught, and choosing to teach my children about religion without handing them the trauma that came with mine.
Why I stopped searching for a home church after spending years trying to find one that felt safe
How modesty culture taught me to carry shame for a body I was still learning how to live in
13. Work From Home Isn’t Killing Your Career | Let’s Be Honest About Having It All
Épisode 13
lundi 27 avril 2026 • Durée 39:59
Work from home is a career killer for women? I disagree a thousand percent. In this episode, I’m challenging the idea that ambition has to come at the expense of your mental health, your time, or your identity. I’m talking about my experience in corporate America as a Black woman, the invisible labor that comes with being in office, what the research actually says about remote work and productivity, and who the “three hour mom” narrative really applies to. Because not all advice is universal, and success should not require you to lose yourself in the process.
87% of employees report being equally or more productive working from home (Microsoft WorkLab)
Remote and hybrid workers report higher engagement than fully in-office employees (Gallup, 2023)
In this episode, we cover:
Why the “work from home is a career killer” narrative ignores what Black women actually experience
The real cost of code switching, and why the office is not a neutral space
12. TikTok Is Not Real Life | What I Was Posting While My Life Was Falling Apart with Kiana Leroux
Épisode 12
lundi 13 avril 2026 • Durée 01:02:38
This episode contains graphic depictions of domestic violence. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text “START” to 88788.
Kiana built her platform on transparency, but this conversation makes it clear just how much she was holding at the same time. What looked like a happy, growing relationship online was layered with control, instability, and survival behind the scenes – and she was navigating all of it while pregnant, postpartum, and still showing up publicly. We talk about what it actually means to live through something in real time without the luxury of stepping away, how content creation became both an outlet and a lifeline, and why the version of a relationship you see online can be completely real and still not be the full truth. This episode isn’t about exposing social media – it’s about understanding why women stay, why they leave, and what it costs to delay your own healing.
Kiana Leroux is a content creator known for her honest, lived-experience advice and transparent storytelling around relationships, motherhood, and personal growth.
11. The Government Doesn't Care About Mothers… So We Built Our Own Village
Épisode 11
lundi 30 mars 2026 • Durée 22:35
This episode is me saying the quiet part out loud: you are not struggling because you’re doing motherhood wrong. You’re struggling because there is no real support system built for you. I’m introducing Empower Her Village, but this isn’t just an announcement, it’s a response to something I’ve seen over and over again, in my own life and in yours. Mothers who are doing everything “right,” working, showing up, holding it all together, and still can’t afford childcare, therapy, or even basic help at home. Not because they’re irresponsible, but because they fall into a gap no one is talking about. The government has the data. They know mothers are leaving the workforce, they know most can’t access mental health care, and they’ve chosen to do nothing. So instead of continuing to tell you to “prioritize yourself” without giving you the tools to do it, I decided to build something that actually supports you. Because the truth is, it still takes a village… but now that village costs money. And if you don’t have access to it, no amount of advice is going to fix that.
Hitting your child is abuse. It doesn't matter if you call it spanking, whooping, or "a little pat." In this episode, I'm unpacking why corporal punishment has been normalized for so long and why so many parents still believe it's discipline. Growing up in the Democratic Republic of Congo, I saw firsthand how physical punishment was treated as the standard both at home and in schools. But here's what doesn't add up: it's illegal to hit your spouse, illegal to hit your neighbor – yet still legal to hit your child. And if you say "I was hit and I turned out fine," I'm here to tell you… you probably didn't.
The real question is this: are you trying to teach your child, or are you trying to make them suffer? Discipline is supposed to come from teaching and repetition, not fear. We talk about the difference between punishment and discipline, why research shows physical punishment harms children's development, the misuse of "spare the rod" in Christian parenting, and what it actually looks like to parent with intention, using redirection, natural consequences, emotional regulation, and clear boundaries instead of violence. Because breaking generational cycles starts with you.
3 things to understand about disciplining kids without hitting them:
Hitting a child might stop a behavior in the moment, but it doesn’t actually teach them what to do instead. Fear shuts down the part of the brain responsible for learning, which means the lesson never lands.
Discipline isn’t about punishment – it’s about teaching. Redirection, natural consequences, and consistent boundaries help children understand their choices and build emotional regulation over time.
Breaking generational parenting patterns starts with the parent. When you regulate your own emotions, model accountability, and reconnect with your child after conflict, you teach them how to handle their own feelings without violence.
9. Tradwife or Trapped Wife? | How Stay-at-Home Moms Can Protect Themselves with Trish A. White
Épisode 9
lundi 23 février 2026 • Durée 01:15:21
Everyone loves the idea of a stay-at-home mom until the internet starts running the divorce horror stories. So let’s actually talk about it. In this episode, I sit down with Trish White, a stay-at-home mom of three who very intentionally chose this life, and we break down what protection really looks like. Not fear. Not paranoia. Not secret resentment. Real protection. The kind that starts before you ever leave your job. We talk about choosing a partner who doesn’t flinch at your ambition to stay home, why financial transparency matters more than “soft life” aesthetics, what red flags to clock early, and how to build equity, credit, and confidence inside your marriage. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom, you absolutely can. But it only works when it’s chosen, supported, and structurally sound.
Trish A. White is a stay-at-home mom of three and content creator featured in Essence for her perspective on Black stay-at-home motherhood and the trad-wife conversation, where she shares financial transparency tips, faith-centered family life, and empowered SAHM insight across her social platforms. You can follow Trish on Instagram!
3 Truths About Staying Home That Actually Protect You:
The man you choose matters more than any contract. Being a stay-at-home mom starts with the husband. If he flinches at your desire to stay home, doesn’t follow through on his goals, or is emotionally unstable in small conflicts, that instability will grow under pressure. The right partner makes the role feel secure, not risky!
Financial access isn’t optional… it’s adult. You should know the accounts, understand the bills, build credit in your name, and sit in on real money conversations. Most stay-at-home vulnerability comes from financial ignorance, not the role itself. Transparency builds trust. Secrecy builds dependency.
Preparation should empower you, not scare you. Yes, be on the deed. Yes, understand prenups. Yes, build equity and keep your skills sharp. But protection isn’t about expecting betrayal, it’s about being informed, intentional, and confident enough to enjoy the life you chose.
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
8. 45% of Women Will Be Single by 2030 | How to Know If You’re Actually Ready for Marriage and Motherhood
Épisode 8
lundi 9 février 2026 • Durée 41:15
A lot of people treat marriage and motherhood like deadlines you’re supposed to hit. In this episode, I break down how I think about readiness, not as a timeline, but as an intentional choice that should add to your life, not shrink it. I share what actually mattered to me before getting married, from choosing an exceptional partner to knowing who I was outside of a relationship and being able to financially support myself. Then we get into what real readiness for kids looks like: the costs people don’t talk about, the emotional work that shows up in postpartum and parenting triggers, and the reality that choosing to have children is a lifelong commitment. If you’re going to choose marriage or motherhood, this episode is about choosing it on purpose… not out of pressure, fear, or expectation.
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Marriage or Motherhood:
If your partner never changes, same job, same mindset, same habits, would you still want to be with them?
Can you financially support yourself without relying on a partner?
Do you know who you are outside of a relationship or motherhood?
Have you lived independently enough to know what you actually want (living alone, traveling alone, dating different people)?
What would you realistically have to sacrifice or give up if you had children?
Have you addressed your own childhood trauma and personal triggers?
Are you choosing marriage or kids because you truly want them? Or because of fear or societal pressure?
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
Podcasts Similaires Basées sur le Contenu
Découvrez des podcasts liées à Selfish Parenting . Explorez des podcasts avec des thèmes, sujets, et formats similaires. Ces similarités sont calculées grâce à des données tangibles, pas d'extrapolations !
The danger of telling women to “choose well” like that alone can protect them
What women gain and lose inside traditional marriage structures
How faith can shape marriage, rest, and wifehood
Why the Proverbs 31 woman has been misunderstood
The difference between performing marriage and actually being in one
Why rest has to come from within
How Yvette and Glen think about division of labor, parenting, and partnership
Why divorce can be an option without being treated like failure
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
What the mental load looks like when it turns into resentment
Why “just tell me what to do” still keeps women in charge
The difference between a partner helping and a partner owning the work
How women end up becoming the default parent without ever agreeing to it
Why teaching a partner can feel unfair, even when the partner is willing
How to know whether you have a willing partner or just a passive one
Why outsourcing buys back time but does not erase the mental load
The role of standards, safety, research, and invisible decision-making
How to talk about the workload before you are already angry
What our children learn when equity is modeled, not just talked about
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
What Mormonism showed me about women doing the work while men held the power
Why having daughters made me question which parts of church I was willing to pass down
The grief I still feel for the community, care, and village that church gave me
How I’m teaching my children about religion without making fear the foundation
Why so many of us are questioning Christianity and realizing patriarchy was sitting right there with it
What it feels like to still pray, still believe, and still not know where church fits in my life anymore
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
Why being seen at work still doesn’t guarantee being considered
How communication bias shows up in emails and perception
The truth about the “three hour mom” – and what it actually requires
What the data really says about productivity at home
Why you need to be selective about whose advice you follow
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
Why leaving isn’t always a clean or immediate decision
How abuse can exist alongside love, success, and visibility
The role content creation can play when you’re trying to survive something
Why “ride or die” culture sets women up to lose
The difference between real connection and emotional intensity
What it looks like to rebuild while still being watched
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
The “missing middle” is real! Mothers earning too much to qualify for assistance but not enough to afford childcare, therapy, or household help are being left to figure it out alone, and it’s why so many are silently struggling.
“Prioritize yourself” is not useful advice if you don’t have the resources to do it. The issue is clearly not that mothers don’t want to take care of themselves. But that they don’t have access to the support that makes it possible.
The village still exists, it’s just no longer free. What used to be family and community support now shows up as paid services like childcare, therapy, and household help, and every mother deserves access to that level of support.
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself.
