Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser – Détails, épisodes et analyse

From episode #76 with Melanie Curtin.

More from that episode:

- Melanie shares about her work and research

- Healing from religious trauma

- Creating safety for men to explore sexuality

- 70% of men are not good in bed

- “Too much, too fast”

- Expectations of male sexuality

- Teasing and touching a woman

- Creating safety for women to explore sexuality

- Communication skills

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jimanekia Eborn. Jimanekia Eborn is a Queer Sexual Assault & Trauma Expert, Trauma Media Consultant, and Comprehensive Sex Educator. She is the host of Trauma Queen - a podcast working to normalize conversations about life's most challenging experiences, from sexual assault to mental health and beyond. Jimanekia is the Founder of Tending The Garden- a nonprofit in service of sexual assault survivors who have been marginalized; offering retreats, online summits, community and education. She is also the co-founder of Cintima, bringing increased representation to the field of Intimacy Coordination in the film industry. Key points: Introductions and background Jimanekia introduces herself, sharing her full name and background. She describes herself as an inquisitive, question-asking person who has experienced various traumas and is now dedicated to supporting others navigating difficult experiences. She outlines her diverse work, including the Jimanekia project focused on assault, her trauma-focused podcast, an intimacy coordinator training company, and her role in the mental health department of a professional wrestling company. Trauma-informed support and advocacy Jimanekia discusses her approach to supporting survivors, emphasizing the importance of allowing them to guide the conversation and decide how they want to share their experiences. She contrasts this with common unhelpful responses that project assumptions or make demands of survivors. Jimanekia also highlights the need for more trauma-informed support, especially for marginalized groups and men, who often face additional stigma and barriers to disclosing. Navigating trauma and consent The conversation explores the complexities around trauma, consent, and gender. Jimanekia and Cam discuss the societal pressures and norms that can prevent men from recognizing or disclosing their experiences of abuse, as well as the tendency to dismiss or trivialize these experiences. They emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for all survivors to be heard and supported without judgment. Systemic change and accountability Jimanekia and Cam discuss the need for broader systemic changes to address the root causes of violence and trauma, such as harmful gender norms, power imbalances, and lack of accountability. They highlight the responsibility of institutions and communities to proactively create safer environments and provide comprehensive support for survivors, rather than placing the burden on individuals. Closing thoughts Jimanekia closes the conversation by offering encouragement and validation to any male survivors listening, emphasizing that their experiences are not their fault and that there are supportive communities available to them. Relevant links: Jimanekia's Instagram: @jimanekia Jimanekia's websites: https://traumaqueen.love/ and https://www.cintima.co/

From episode #71 with Sascha Heart)

More from that episode:

- Sascha shares about his passions and work

- Building confidence to have better sex

- Men who feel intimidated by women

- You are not your partner’s coach

- Fear of leaving a relationship

- Entrepreneurship and financial independence

- Nourishment and connecting in with your body

- The masculine seeks freedom

- Semen retention vs conscious ejaculation

- The symbolism of ejaculation

- Ejaculation shaming

- Semen retention and meditation

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Pomma. Pomma does various forms of sex work and is a huge advocate for decriminalizing and destigmatizing sex work. They make educational content about sex workers’ rights in hopes to humanize sex workers and their needs to people and systems who commonly overlook sex workers. It’s very important to Pomma that sex workers’ voices are at the forefront of legislation and conversations that affect their lived realities since they’re often excluded. Pomma likes to keep their feminism and politics intersectional, because, at the end of the day, what affects them affects you, and affects all of us. When they’re not raising awareness about censorship or decriminalization, Pomma is crafting cosplays and traveling for conventions.

Key Points:

• Pomma introduces themselves
• The importance of sex work
• “Rights, not rescue”
• Purity fetish and the sex work heirarchy
• Decriminalization vs legalization
• SWERFs: Sex Work Exclusionary Radical Feminists
• Educating on social media

Relevant Links:

Check out Pomma’s educational work and socials at their Carrd: Pomma.Carrd.Co

Quicky #32 is an excerpt from Season 3, Episode 4: #34 Go With The Flow: Libido And The Menstrual Cycle (with Kristin Murray Alexi)

Today on the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat with Kristin Murray Alexi. Kristin has a bachelor’s degree in international studies with a focus on women in history, culture and religion, and a post graduate diploma in sexology. She is a certified Yoni Massage practitioner and trainer, and certified Sex Coach and trainer. She also works in the realm of priestessing as well as initiating other womben into this work. Kristin is known for her gentle yet informative and inclusive approach to pleasure-centered sex education. She offers certified trainings, group and 1:1 coaching sessions, online courses, and a fun and educative podcast with Tanishka Tantrika called Love Blood Sex Death. Kristin has been passionate about womben's wisdom teachings and female sexuality from a very young age. She held girls circles at 12 years old and created supportive materials for her teen female peers while going through puberty together. Her main passions are empowering womben in their sexuality through a better understanding of their bodies and female sexual arousal, as well as helping womben to communicate their individual needs to their partners. Kristin and I discuss how the different phases of the menstrual cycle can affect sex drive and how men can better understand their partner’s cycles so as to connect more intimately together.

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast I welcome back a really lovely colleague and friend of mine. Her name is Sarah Martin. You might recall her from episode number 135, where we talked about her research regarding pick up artists. In this episode, we do something a little bit different and discuss a project we've been collaborating on, known as a sexual attitude reassessment (SAR). We talk about the three major assumptions that we see practitioners often make, whether they be sex coaches or therapists or men's work facilitators. So if you're interested in having some beliefs or stereotypes or values about men challenge, this is the episode for you.

Key Points:

- Sarah reintroduces herself - What is a SAR? - Assumption 1: Men don’t warrant specific consideration as men - Assumption 2: You definitely have unconscious bias when it comes to men - Assumption 3: All the men who are in online communities are basement dwelling, violent misogynists - How to work with men who want to improve their communication skills but choose not to do it - Testimonial from Charles Dubois - The next SAR offering

Relevant Links: The Man SAR: https://themansar.com/

Quicky 31 is an excerpt from Season 3, Episode 3: #33 Performing Masculinity: What Does A Man Look Like? (with Nic Warner)

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I talk with Nic Warner. Nic is a men’s work, plant medicine and breathwork facilitator, and a sacred intimacy mentor. Using the tools that helped him rise out of the ashes, Nic coaches both individuals and couples. Supporting them on their healing journey, to integrate and deepen their relationship with themselves, and each other. Nic and I talk about his experience giving away his power, spiraling into substance abuse, and overcoming his troubles, ultimately transforming his life. We also discuss what it means to look like a man and the fear that many men have about not looking masculine enough.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski. Brendan is a researcher and educator focused on the social-emotional wellbeing of adolescents and understanding the role that gender plays in that equation—particularly masculinity. His PhD research from the University of Edinburgh investigated teenage boys’ experiences and beliefs about being male and compared their experiences based on their levels of emotional expression. He is a mixed-methods researcher and believes very strongly in positive-focused and person-centred research that humanizes and empowers participants, as well in research that is transformative and practically useful for people in the real-world. He is from and lives in Vancouver, BC, has three kids and prior to his PhD was a high school teacher.

Key points:

• Brendan introduces himself
• Discussion on toxic masculinity and its nuances
• Critique of the term and deliberate misunderstandings to attack masculinity
• Responses of teenage boys to masculine pressures
• Young men and emotional restriction
• Importance of multiple ways of being a man and role of fathers in shaping masculine identities
• Creating emotional safe havens for teenage boys and the need for outlets outside romantic relationships

Relevant links:

Brendan’s website: https://remasculine.com/ 

Brendan’s Instagram: @re.msculine 

Brendan’s TikTok: remasculine

Quicky 30 is from Season 3, Episode 2: #32 Sex Hacking: Confidence and Calibration (with Kenneth Play)

Kenneth Play is an international sex expert and sex educator. From a deeply insecure Asian immigrant to over ⁠8 million views on PornHub⁠ and being named ⁠the World’s Greatest Sex Hacker by GQ⁠, Kenneth develops sex techniques to help couples learn new ways to connect and overcome challenges in the bedroom. His newest course features over 70+ videos and 12 hours of content, and was described by AskMen as having ⁠"at least one nugget of sexual learning you’ve almost certainly never encountered before, if not several."⁠ His teaching has been described as a mashup of Bruce Lee’s mixed martial arts approach and Tim Ferriss’s 80/20 rule. He worked with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova to conduct the ⁠world's largest survey on squirting⁠; with Pamela Madsen at the Back to the Body Sensual Retreats for Women; and has been a featured presenter at New York University and San Jose State University. He has devoted his life to empowering couples to close the orgasm gap and experience the best sex of their lives.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Ahmad Jooma. Ahmad is the creator of SHOOK MAN®, a character who represents our fears, anxieties and is an engaging way for young men to talk about their mental health. Ahmad understands men who feel powerless in life - He used to be that guy! For 10+ years Ahmad studied the best courses on human nature. He has coached 100+ people around the world and produced podcasts, events and courses.

Key points:

• Amhad introduces himself
• Creating "SHOOK MAN" to make fear visible
• "SHOOK MAN" as a tool to detach from fears and anxieties
• Recognizing fear as a self-defense mechanism and giving it a job to overcome it
• Prevalence of anxiety and fear in society, pulling people out of the present moment
• Importance of being free in the mind and living in the moment
• Impact of consumerism on society, preying on fears and desires

Relevant links:

Ahmad’s Instagram: @ahmad.jooma

Ahmad’s website: https://www.shookman.com/