From episode #76 with Melanie Curtin.

More from that episode:

- Melanie shares about her work and research

- Healing from religious trauma

- Creating safety for men to explore sexuality

- 70% of men are not good in bed

- “Too much, too fast”

- Expectations of male sexuality

- Teasing and touching a woman

- Creating safety for women to explore sexuality

- Communication skills

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jimanekia Eborn. Jimanekia Eborn is a Queer Sexual Assault & Trauma Expert, Trauma Media Consultant, and Comprehensive Sex Educator. She is the host of Trauma Queen - a podcast working to normalize conversations about life's most challenging experiences, from sexual assault to mental health and beyond. Jimanekia is the Founder of Tending The Garden- a nonprofit in service of sexual assault survivors who have been marginalized; offering retreats, online summits, community and education. She is also the co-founder of Cintima, bringing increased representation to the field of Intimacy Coordination in the film industry. Key points: Introductions and background Jimanekia introduces herself, sharing her full name and background. She describes herself as an inquisitive, question-asking person who has experienced various traumas and is now dedicated to supporting others navigating difficult experiences. She outlines her diverse work, including the Jimanekia project focused on assault, her trauma-focused podcast, an intimacy coordinator training company, and her role in the mental health department of a professional wrestling company. Trauma-informed support and advocacy Jimanekia discusses her approach to supporting survivors, emphasizing the importance of allowing them to guide the conversation and decide how they want to share their experiences. She contrasts this with common unhelpful responses that project assumptions or make demands of survivors. Jimanekia also highlights the need for more trauma-informed support, especially for marginalized groups and men, who often face additional stigma and barriers to disclosing. Navigating trauma and consent The conversation explores the complexities around trauma, consent, and gender. Jimanekia and Cam discuss the societal pressures and norms that can prevent men from recognizing or disclosing their experiences of abuse, as well as the tendency to dismiss or trivialize these experiences. They emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for all survivors to be heard and supported without judgment. Systemic change and accountability Jimanekia and Cam discuss the need for broader systemic changes to address the root causes of violence and trauma, such as harmful gender norms, power imbalances, and lack of accountability. They highlight the responsibility of institutions and communities to proactively create safer environments and provide comprehensive support for survivors, rather than placing the burden on individuals. Closing thoughts Jimanekia closes the conversation by offering encouragement and validation to any male survivors listening, emphasizing that their experiences are not their fault and that there are supportive communities available to them. Relevant links: Jimanekia's Instagram: @jimanekia Jimanekia's websites: https://traumaqueen.love/ and https://www.cintima.co/

From episode #71 with Sascha Heart)

More from that episode:

- Sascha shares about his passions and work

- Building confidence to have better sex

- Men who feel intimidated by women

- You are not your partner’s coach

- Fear of leaving a relationship

- Entrepreneurship and financial independence

- Nourishment and connecting in with your body

- The masculine seeks freedom

- Semen retention vs conscious ejaculation

- The symbolism of ejaculation

- Ejaculation shaming

- Semen retention and meditation

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Pomma. Pomma does various forms of sex work and is a huge advocate for decriminalizing and destigmatizing sex work. They make educational content about sex workers’ rights in hopes to humanize sex workers and their needs to people and systems who commonly overlook sex workers. It’s very important to Pomma that sex workers’ voices are at the forefront of legislation and conversations that affect their lived realities since they’re often excluded. Pomma likes to keep their feminism and politics intersectional, because, at the end of the day, what affects them affects you, and affects all of us. When they’re not raising awareness about censorship or decriminalization, Pomma is crafting cosplays and traveling for conventions.

Key Points:

• Pomma introduces themselves
• The importance of sex work
• “Rights, not rescue”
• Purity fetish and the sex work heirarchy
• Decriminalization vs legalization
• SWERFs: Sex Work Exclusionary Radical Feminists
• Educating on social media

Relevant Links:

Check out Pomma’s educational work and socials at their Carrd: Pomma.Carrd.Co

Quicky #32 is an excerpt from Season 3, Episode 4: #34 Go With The Flow: Libido And The Menstrual Cycle (with Kristin Murray Alexi)

Today on the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat with Kristin Murray Alexi. Kristin has a bachelor’s degree in international studies with a focus on women in history, culture and religion, and a post graduate diploma in sexology. She is a certified Yoni Massage practitioner and trainer, and certified Sex Coach and trainer. She also works in the realm of priestessing as well as initiating other womben into this work. Kristin is known for her gentle yet informative and inclusive approach to pleasure-centered sex education. She offers certified trainings, group and 1:1 coaching sessions, online courses, and a fun and educative podcast with Tanishka Tantrika called Love Blood Sex Death. Kristin has been passionate about womben's wisdom teachings and female sexuality from a very young age. She held girls circles at 12 years old and created supportive materials for her teen female peers while going through puberty together. Her main passions are empowering womben in their sexuality through a better understanding of their bodies and female sexual arousal, as well as helping womben to communicate their individual needs to their partners. Kristin and I discuss how the different phases of the menstrual cycle can affect sex drive and how men can better understand their partner’s cycles so as to connect more intimately together.

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast I welcome back a really lovely colleague and friend of mine. Her name is Sarah Martin. You might recall her from episode number 135, where we talked about her research regarding pick up artists. In this episode, we do something a little bit different and discuss a project we've been collaborating on, known as a sexual attitude reassessment (SAR). We talk about the three major assumptions that we see practitioners often make, whether they be sex coaches or therapists or men's work facilitators. So if you're interested in having some beliefs or stereotypes or values about men challenge, this is the episode for you.

Key Points:

- Sarah reintroduces herself - What is a SAR? - Assumption 1: Men don’t warrant specific consideration as men - Assumption 2: You definitely have unconscious bias when it comes to men - Assumption 3: All the men who are in online communities are basement dwelling, violent misogynists - How to work with men who want to improve their communication skills but choose not to do it - Testimonial from Charles Dubois - The next SAR offering

Relevant Links: The Man SAR: https://themansar.com/

Quicky 31 is an excerpt from Season 3, Episode 3: #33 Performing Masculinity: What Does A Man Look Like? (with Nic Warner)

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I talk with Nic Warner. Nic is a men’s work, plant medicine and breathwork facilitator, and a sacred intimacy mentor. Using the tools that helped him rise out of the ashes, Nic coaches both individuals and couples. Supporting them on their healing journey, to integrate and deepen their relationship with themselves, and each other. Nic and I talk about his experience giving away his power, spiraling into substance abuse, and overcoming his troubles, ultimately transforming his life. We also discuss what it means to look like a man and the fear that many men have about not looking masculine enough.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski. Brendan is a researcher and educator focused on the social-emotional wellbeing of adolescents and understanding the role that gender plays in that equation—particularly masculinity. His PhD research from the University of Edinburgh investigated teenage boys’ experiences and beliefs about being male and compared their experiences based on their levels of emotional expression. He is a mixed-methods researcher and believes very strongly in positive-focused and person-centred research that humanizes and empowers participants, as well in research that is transformative and practically useful for people in the real-world. He is from and lives in Vancouver, BC, has three kids and prior to his PhD was a high school teacher.

Key points:

• Brendan introduces himself
• Discussion on toxic masculinity and its nuances
• Critique of the term and deliberate misunderstandings to attack masculinity
• Responses of teenage boys to masculine pressures
• Young men and emotional restriction
• Importance of multiple ways of being a man and role of fathers in shaping masculine identities
• Creating emotional safe havens for teenage boys and the need for outlets outside romantic relationships

Relevant links:

Brendan’s website: https://remasculine.com/ 

Brendan’s Instagram: @re.msculine 

Brendan’s TikTok: remasculine

Quicky 30 is from Season 3, Episode 2: #32 Sex Hacking: Confidence and Calibration (with Kenneth Play)

Kenneth Play is an international sex expert and sex educator. From a deeply insecure Asian immigrant to over ⁠8 million views on PornHub⁠ and being named ⁠the World’s Greatest Sex Hacker by GQ⁠, Kenneth develops sex techniques to help couples learn new ways to connect and overcome challenges in the bedroom. His newest course features over 70+ videos and 12 hours of content, and was described by AskMen as having ⁠"at least one nugget of sexual learning you’ve almost certainly never encountered before, if not several."⁠ His teaching has been described as a mashup of Bruce Lee’s mixed martial arts approach and Tim Ferriss’s 80/20 rule. He worked with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova to conduct the ⁠world's largest survey on squirting⁠; with Pamela Madsen at the Back to the Body Sensual Retreats for Women; and has been a featured presenter at New York University and San Jose State University. He has devoted his life to empowering couples to close the orgasm gap and experience the best sex of their lives.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Ahmad Jooma. Ahmad is the creator of SHOOK MAN®, a character who represents our fears, anxieties and is an engaging way for young men to talk about their mental health. Ahmad understands men who feel powerless in life - He used to be that guy! For 10+ years Ahmad studied the best courses on human nature. He has coached 100+ people around the world and produced podcasts, events and courses.

Key points:

• Amhad introduces himself
• Creating "SHOOK MAN" to make fear visible
• "SHOOK MAN" as a tool to detach from fears and anxieties
• Recognizing fear as a self-defense mechanism and giving it a job to overcome it
• Prevalence of anxiety and fear in society, pulling people out of the present moment
• Importance of being free in the mind and living in the moment
• Impact of consumerism on society, preying on fears and desires

Relevant links:

Ahmad’s Instagram: @ahmad.jooma

Ahmad’s website: https://www.shookman.com/ 

Quicky #29 comes from Season 3, Episode 1: #31 From Surface Level Sex to Deep Intimacy (with Lorin Krenn)

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Lorin Krenn, a Deep Intimacy coach and Writer. Lorin helps men and women all over the globe understand masculine/feminine dynamics in their intimate relationships to experience deep intimacy through 1-on-1 coaching, workshops and masterclasses, and social media appearances. He has some Deep Intimacy virtual masterclasses coming up specifically for his Australian and Asia-Pacific community as well as for his community from the United States, Canada and Europe. Links for these masterclasses are in the show notes.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Aubrey Aurora. Aubrey is an Erotic Ritualist and event curator based in British Columbia. She has spent the better half of a decade creating luxury erotic experiences and initiations for people from all walks of life. With a gift of deep attention to ambience and atmosphere, her work is often described as a portal into the depths of your most sensual fantasies. The two of us talk at length about what an erotic ritual looks like as well as discuss the themes of theatre and fetish in BDSM and sacred sexuality containers. 

Key points:

• Aubrey introduces herself
• Theatre and the spectacle of ritual
• Elements of erotic ritual
• Sacred Sexuality and BDSM
• Spirituality fetishism
• Being initiated into your eroticism

Relevant links:

Aubrey’s Instagram: @aubreyyaurora Aubrey’s website: aubreyaurora.com

Quicky #28 is from Season 2, Episode 14: #30 Sacred Masculinity for Modern Men (with Brenden Durell)

Today, I chat with Brenden Durell. Brenden is a former professional athlete turned life aficionado. He nudges people with laughter and inspiration so they can understand nirvana and live in every moment. Brenden also plays the game of life by being a Cacao & Breathwork Ceremonialist. He’s also a dedicated White Tantra student. His motto is “peace is the ultimate pleasure.” Brenden resides comfortably in his home, wishing he had a dog. The two of us spoke about the difference between masculine Men’s Work and feminine Men’s Work as well as how masculinity is linked to sexuality and what we can do as men to express but also regulate our emotions.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Katy Bampton. A passionate and experienced Somatic Sexologist dedicated to empowering individuals on their journey to heightened confidence, effective communication and well-being, Katy brings a unique blend of expertise, compassion, and personalized guidance to those seeking positive transformations in their intimate lives. Katy specializes in helping individuals overcome barriers related to confidence in the bedroom, relationship struggles, navigating ADHD/anxiety, sexual trauma and how to live a life full of pleasure. Her approach is rooted in creating a safe and judgment-free space, where clients can explore their desires, embrace their bodies, and navigate the intricacies with confidence.

Key points:

- Katy introduces herself

- Understanding embodiment

- Overcoming societal conditioning

- The power of breathwork

- Expanding intimacy beyond penetration

- Guiding women to self-touch

- Transcending the bedroom

Relevant links:

Katy’s Instagram: @katybampton

Katy’s website: https://katybampton.com/

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Michelle Roberton. Michelle has shared her work with many, for 20 years, specialising in Sexual Trauma & Intimacy as a Tantric educator, body worker and counsellor for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse Her passion stems from her own journey of discovering the medicine in the poison as she set it upon herself to reclaim her body, her breath, her sexuality and sensuality and express that in new, life enriching ways. Michelle very much believes that our mind can only take us so far into any release of body trauma and healing of our sexuality. The discovery of who we authentically are is not hidden in our thoughts but in the sensuality and home of our body. Her touch has been described by many as her gift to others. Her gentle, authentically honest & calming approach, a comforting breath of fresh air. Michelle lives in the colourful, vibrant city of Brighton with her four superstar children.

Key points:

• Michelle introduces herself
• What is Tantric bodywork?
• How trauma manifests in the body
• Individual and universal experiences
• Working with tension and disconnection
• Facilitating pleasure

Relevant links:

Michelle’s Instagram: @michellekroberton

Michelle’s website: https://sacredtantrictouch.com/

Quicky #27 comes from Season 2, Episode 13: #29 Imposter Syndrome and Perfomance Anxiety (with Stevon Lewis)

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I talk with Stevon Lewis. Stevon is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and corporate consultant. In his private practice, he specializes in working with adults struggling with Impostor Syndrome. He has been a featured expert for various major television and media platforms, including the Oprah Winfrey Network, Bustle Magazine, Thrive Global, and Entrepreneur Magazine. As a corporate consultant, he has facilitated discussions about race in the workplace for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN) and Tory Burch. In addition, he has hosted a series of workshops for A New Direction, a London-based non-profit, that provides support and development to individuals that are underrepresented in the creative and digital industries. Stevon and I discuss Impostor Syndrome as it relates to masculinity and “being a man” as well as connecting it to performance anxiety and transitioning into fatherhood.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Elle Stanger (she/they). Elle is a queer, mid-thirties nonmonogamous, parent, sex worker, AASECT Certified Sex Educator, and media producer. She has worked as a porn shop manager and product buyer, pole dancing stripper, consultant for anti-trafficking organizations, professional cuddler, porn maker, writer, podcast host, and certified sex educator. The two of us talk about their advocacy for sex workers’ rights as well as the nuances of the debates around sex work.

Key points:

• Elle introduces herself
• The importance of sex work
• Anti-sex work discrimination
• Decriminalization vs legalization
• SWERFs: Sex Work Exclusionary Radical Feminists
• Feminist porn?
• Supporting sex workers

Relevant Links:

Elle’s website: ellestanger.com 

Elle’s Instagram: @stripperwriter

Elle’s Twitter: ellestanger

Quicky #25 is from Season 2, Episode 12: #28 Intersex: Understanding the Space Between Male & Female (with Toby Whittington)

Today on the podcast, I chat with Toby Whittington. Toby, who uses they/them/he/him pronouns, was diagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome (47 XXY karyotype) in 2010. Among other issues, Toby found out that they were not able to father children and that they don’t produce enough of their own testosterone. He started on Testosterone Replacement Therapy which set him on a path of going through adult puberty, a physical and mental transition which lasted over 8 years. Toby now openly acknowledges that they are an Intersex person and in 2020, when they came out as gender non-binary, this was the first time they felt that their biological sex and their gender identity were aligned. Toby is passionate about educating people around these issues, what it means to be Intersex and the confusion with regards to differences between biological sex, gender identity and sexual orientation. He has and promotes a very open and positive attitude towards sex, sexuality and sexual expression, so long as it is safe and that participation is between consenting adults. Toby and I talk about their experience being Intersex and how it affected their ideas of masculinity as well as what it means to “be a man.”

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Will Tantra. Will is a sex and intimacy coach living in Los Angeles. He is also a naked yoga instructor and massage instructor. He now mainly teaches through video and at Tantra retreats around the world. Will is known for his practical and hands on approach to sex education and for providing men with easy to follow exercises designed to teach how to give and receive more pleasure. Teaching men how to exercise their bodies and masturbate in a way that better prepares them for partnered sex are favorite lessons of Will's. His other passions include dance and springboard diving and he performs regularly with a burlesque theater troupe. The two of us discuss the ways in which self-pleasure can be used as means to improve our sex lives.

Key Points:

• Will introduces himself
• Tantra for queer men
• The principles of self-pleasure
• Sports analogies
• Training for game day
• Practical advice for self-pleasure

Relevant links:

Will’s Instagram: @tantric.fitness

Will’s Twitter: tantricfitness

Quicky #25 comes from Season 2 Episode 11: #27 Sex with Herpes: Diagnosis to Disclosure (with Courtney Brame)

Today, I chat with Courtney Brame, the Founder and podcast host of Something Positive for Positive People. As a podcast, this serves as a hub of interviews with people living with genital herpes along with his own experiences navigating stigma from diagnosis to disclosure. As a nonprofit, SPFPP raises money to pay for people who are struggling with HSV stigma to receive therapy. After his own diagnosis in 2012, Courtney navigated the world identifying heavily with his diagnosis unconsciously as you'll hear more about in this episode. After finding community, all of his problems with dating and disclosure appeared to disappear. However, this made space for underlying concerns herpes had exposed. 1 was how many people despite having community and a space for finding love regardless of their HSV status wanting to end their lives. 2 was how true to himself he was able to be with these complete strangers who had one thing in common (knowing about his HSV status) versus how hidden he was with people who'd known him most of his life who did not know about his herpes status. We talk about living with herpes, from contracting the virus and receiving a diagnosis, to managing it, how it affects your masculinity and ultimately discussing it with and disclosing it to a partner.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Elliot Justin MD, FACEP. Elliot is the CEO and founder of FirmTech, the world’s first sex tech company focused on keeping men firm and fit for a better lifetime of lovemaking and pleasure. Dr. Justin is an Emergency Medicine specialist and healthcare technology consultant in erectile neuromodulation, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes. He and his FirmTech team have developed the Tech Ring and the Performance Ring which are transformative tools to help men optimize personal “erectile fitness,” and to inspire better erectile and cardiovascular health. FirmTech’s mission is to help men sustain an erection, and if they have a problem, prevent it from getting worse. The Tech Ring achieved second place at the 2023 CES/Showstopper event in Health Wellness and Innovation, and the 2023 Most Innovative Sex Toy of the Year at XBIZ. Soon, FirmTech will launch its FemmeTech line dedicated to a similar mission for women.

Key Points:

• Elliot introduces himself
• Erections are “the canary in the coal mine”
• Sex tech and data privacy
• The prevalence of erectile dysfunction
• The etiology of erectile dysfunction
• The future of sex tech

Relevant links:

Elliot’s website: https://myfirmtech.com/

Elliot’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elliot-justin-md/ 

Quicky #24 comes from Season 2, Episode 10: #26 Penis Size: Working With What You've Got (with Lahnee Pavlovich)

On episode 26, I chat with Lahnee Pavlovich. Lahnee is a Sex Educator, Lifestyle Coach and a Sex Positive Journalist. She has made a name for herself as the go-to-woman for a modern approach to sexuality & well-being, bringing you not only her expertise, but connecting you to epic humans and ideas through her various channels. This Aussie based Mum Lady, Word Wizz, Coach, Influencer and Sexual Badass found her passion helping couples, women and men live better, more fulfilling lives in and out of the bedroom by embracing a sense of overall well-being & learning to push the boundaries of what's considered "normal". Lahnee's mission is to get down and dirty to challenge society’s views on sexuality, body image & anything else people don't like talking about. Through connecting the dots between emotional, spiritual, social, intellectual, physical, and sexual well-being, Lahnee inspires others to live a better, more fulfilled, nourishing and 'turned-on’ life. We talk about her new offering, Rate Your Rooster, where Lahnee invites men to send her dick pics - for a fee! - and she provides them with a report with advice and tips about how to best use their penis.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Erica Smith (she/her). Erica is an award winning sexuality educator and consultant with over 20 years of experience. She has provided comprehensive sex education to young women and LGBTQ+ youth in Philadelphia’s juvenile justice system, worked in abortion care, and supported HIV positive youth and transgender youth in her work. In 2019, she developed the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program- sex education that aims to teach people everything that they missed growing up in purity culture- sex ed that is accurate, queer inclusive, trauma informed, compassionate, and comprehensive.

Key Points:

• Erica introduces herself
• Purity culture and sex education
• Religious beliefs and anti-pornography
• SWERFs and Christian extremists
• NCOSE, Exodus Cry, and FTND
• The Pornhub lawsuit
• Speaking to consumers of porn
• Porn literacy

Relevant links:

Erica’s Instagram: @ericasmith.sex.ed
Erica’s Twitter: @ericasmithsexed

Erica’s Website: https://www.ericasmitheac.com/ 

Todays Quicky comes from Season 2 Episode 9: #25 Overcoming Fear with Compassion and Love (with Adam Roa)

On today’s episode of the Men, Sex & Pleasure Podcast, I chat with Adam Roa. Adam is a transformational artist, founder of the online personal development community, CREATE, and the podcast host of "The Deep Dive with Adam Roa". He has been listed by Goalcast as one of the “Top 33 Gamechangers to Watch" and his viral poem, “You Are Who You’ve Been Looking For" has been viewed more than 200 million times. He has spoken on countless stages, including Oslo Freedom Forum, MindValley A-Fest, and Envision Festival. Adam has recently begun to blend his poetry into mainstream music, with his first single, "Voices", releasing on October 1st. A modern day renaissance man, he is known for his unique blend of science and spirituality wrapped in artistic mediums. We shared about our deepest fears, how they hold us back and how to use compassion to overcome them.

From episode #70 with Chloe Adriana.

More from that episode:

- Chloe shares about her transformative journey

- How Chloe defines radiance

- How Cam defines radiance

- The power of travel and exploration

- Masculinity and dark masculine energy

- Relationship with penises

- How penises are portrayed in media

- Rewriting sexual scripts

- Loving your genitals

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Bryony Cole. Bryony has amassed a global following as the go-to expert on sextech. With over one million downloads of her Future of Sex podcast, and extensive global media coverage she is the trusted authority for industry insights in The New York Times, The Today Show, Wired and many other global media. Bryony has written for Playboy, and appeared on TV shows such as Netflix’s FollowThis Series, Vice Slutever, The Money Channel, and The Morning Show on Channel 7. As a highly-regarded speaker, her stage presence roster includes some of the world’s largest culture, technology and ideas events such as SXSW and Vivid. Her global sextech hackathon events and Future of Sex reports are considered the pinnacle of industry insights and innovation. She is a sought-after consultant who partners with organizations across the world forecasting trends in the sextech industry for governments, tech titans and entertainment companies. Most recently, Marie Claire awarded her podcast Future of Sex as ‘one of the best sex and relationship podcasts of 2020’.

Key points:

• Bryony introduces herself
• Being replaced by sex robots
• A cyberpunk or solarpunk future?
• Deepfakes and fear mongering
• The impact of technology on relationships
• The evolution of sex toys and robots
• Pro-social technology which enhances connection
• Polarization and possibilities

Relevant links:

Bryony’s Instagram: @bryonycole

Bryony’s website: https://www.bryonycole.co/ 

Quicky #22 is an excerpt from Season 2, Episode 8: #24 Energetical Lovemaking and Deep Intimacy (with Avi Kabani)

Views and opinions expressed by Avi Kabani do not reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer or company.

Today on the Men, Sex & Pleaure podcast, I chat with Avi Kabani. Avi is an author who writes about the nature of sexual energy, deep states of lovemaking, and the challenges of modern-day intimate relationships. He is best known for exploring these topics in relation to men, women, culture, and self. Drawing on the work of David Deida, Avi shared with me his take on sex therapy and sexual art. We spoke about the energetics of lovemaking and how to take your sexual experiences to those deeper levels of intimacy. If you’re familiar with Deida’s work, you’ll really resonate with this conversation about sex, healing and masculinity.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with the Techy Tantrika, Devika Singh. Devika is a holistic intimacy and self-relationship coach, holistic sex educator, and pleasure-inclusive sex education advocate. Her work focuses on reporting sex/dating tech trends along with normalizing conversations around topics that are still considered ‘taboo’ or socially charged. These topics include sex education, pro-sex spirituality, various forms of intimacy, rebirth and transitions (personal transformation), death positivity, and how metaphysics impact how we connect to one another throughout life.

Key points:

• Devika introduces herself
• Sexual content, censorship, and terms of service
• FOSTA-SESTA legislation
• “Think of the children” rhetoric
• Artificial intelligence and human trafficking
• Tech billionaires and outrage marketing
• Sex toys and data privacy
• Politics and technology

Relevant links:

Devika’s YouTube/Instagram/TikTok: @TheTechyTantrika
Devika’s website: devika-singh.com

Quicky #21 is from Season 2 Episode 7: #23 Biohack your Hormones: Testosterone and Dopamine (with Lucas Aoun)

On episode 23 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast I chat with Lucas Aoun, a leading Australian biohacker, with a global mission to optimize wellbeing, physical and mental performance. He is currently completing his Naturopathy degree in Melbourne. He is highly respected in the realm of Nootropics, Testosterone optimization, and athletic performance. We talk about testosterone and why men should care about their testosterone levels. We also discuss dopamine and other neurotransmitters as well as how to optimize your sexual health with testicle icing. If you’re interested in biohacking your body, this is the episode for you.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Ceecee Jacobsen. Ceecee is a coach, public speaker, social media influencer, model, and trans activist from Eysturoy (East Island), Faroe Islands, a collection of 18 small islands about halfway between Norway and Iceland. The two of us talk about her experience as the first openly trans person in her entire country as well as the narratives around performing gender, disclosing that you’re trans, and the use of labels for our sexual and gender identity.

Key points:

• Ceecee introduces herself
• Loneliness and growing up trans
• Performing femininity and masculinity
• The mask of normalcy
• The “trap” narrative
• Disclosing that you’re trans
• The relevance of sexual identity labels
• The erasure of women

Relevant links:

Ceecee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ceeceejacobsencc 

Ceecee’s Instagram: @ceeceejacobsen

Ceecee’s YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CeeceeJacobsencc 

Quicky #20 is from Season 2, Episode 6: #21 Sex and Psychedelics (with Tobias Penno)

Today I had the pleasure of talking with Mental Health Practitioner, Tobias Penno, Bach. Sci. Engineering, Masters of Social Work (Hons; Research Prize Faculty of Health & Medical Science UWA) Tobias is an Emotional Health Practitioner & Social Worker with a background in Government Child Protection and Counselling. After years of professionally managing extreme child, family and relationship stress, Tobias has found his passion in healing Emotional Pain & Trauma through the body. Tobias currently runs a clinical practice, Emotional Healthcare, where he combines somatic techniques with narrative therapy, as well as working with people to prepare and integrate psychedelic experiences. Tobias is a researcher at the University of Western Australia, with an award-winning dissertation titled How Ayahuasca Offers Psychosocial Wellbeing, and is currently working on a PhD researching the links between attachment trauma, the body, and best-practice in psychedelic integration therapy. We spoke about the similarities between the sexuality and psychedelic industries and communities, from the challenges to the successes. 

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jim Benson. Jim has dedicated his life to helping men of all ages and backgrounds love themselves more fully. For the past 20 years, he has been coaching guys to “breakthroughs in the bedroom.” Jim's Awakened Masculine program blends best practices across disciplines to create a powerful transformative environment for men to experience more personal pleasure and relationship satisfaction. He has trained as a professional coach at the Coaches Training Institute and held the PCC (Professional Certified Coach) credential from the International Coach Federation for many years. He has 7000 hours of individual, relationship, and group coaching experience. And, he is a graduate of The Interchange Counseling program.

Key Points:

• Jim introduces himself
• Working with men
• Separating orgasm and ejaculation
• The importance of breathing and moving
• Different breathing techniques
• Energy circulation
• Practical advice for couples

Relevant Links:

Jim's website: https://awakenedmasculine.com/

Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/ 

Quicky #19 is from Season 2, Episode 10: The Seed Bearer: Conscious Conception for Men (with Josh Fairleigh)

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast I chat with Josh Fairleigh. Josh grew up on the east coast of Australia, surfing, skating, boxing, fishing, loving all the outdoor active lifestyle this environment allows. School was very low on the list; this resulted in a early school drop out and the introduction of his first job in the surfboard industry. Surfing being Josh’s life passion; he shaped custom surfboards for about 15 years until his Saturn return when he began to see the environmental impact of the industry and pictured his own health in another 15 years. This was the time when Josh became very interested in health and natural medicines. After an awakening during a yoga course in Thailand with some influential teachers Josh began studying Ayurveda, Yoga, Reiki, Pranic Healing and Shamanic Crystal work and finally found the passion for academic education that he could not find in the earlier school years. Josh now teaches Breath workshops and does energy and Shamanic Healing’s. Josh became interested in Feng Shui as he spent many years traveling the world and Australia, through this travelling from town to town, country to country he was aware of his own moods, perception and reality changing; which made him curious as to how much our environment has an effect on our reality, from the weather, the land forms, water quality, different beliefs, colours, shapes and the spiritual energy. Josh has studied Feng Shui and Environmental studies with the Australian College of Environmental Studies. He now emphasises Breathwork as a tool to facilitate spiritual, mental, physical and emotional health. This approach and training touches all of these aspects of life; from physical fitness, to harmonising our internal and external energy bodies.

We spoke about Josh's Lyme Disease and how it has affected his relationship with himself, his wife and his daughter, particularly with regards to how he perceives his masculinity.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Ian Ferguson, he is the co-creator of The Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ and co-founder of The Blueprint Breakthrough, Inc., a company dedicated to Erotic Liberation for All.

Our company mission is to realize a vision of global sexual wellness,  putting an end to the perpetuation of sexual trauma, empowering every person to have the healthy relationships they desire and to claim the consensual and fulfilling pleasure they deserve.

Ian, an internationally recognized speaker, has appeared on Netflix’s ‘Sex, Love and Goop,’ as well as top podcasts for Tony Robbins and on other media such as Good Morning America, VH1, Anderson Live and Details magazine. 

Ian is an Expert Trainer of the Erotic Blueprint™ Methodology and has helped to license over 300 Erotic Blueprint Coaches™ who now serve the global Blueprint community.

Key Points:

• Ian introduces himself
• Intimacy, parenthood, and life stressors]
• Finding middle ground with your partner
• The creation of the Erotic Blueprints
• Mitigating inauthenticity
• Resistance to sexual exploration
• Advice for expanding sexual experiences

Relevant Links:

Ian’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ian.ferguson.925

Ian’s Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/NewWorldSexEducation

Ian’s Website: The Blueprint Breakthrough https://missjaiya.com

Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/ 

Quicky #18 is from Season 2, Episode 4: Be A Man: Sex, Anger and Doing the Work (with Tim Morrison)

On today's episode I chat with a dear brother of mine, Tim Morrison. He is a leading Mens work facilitator and transformational coach, he is also a multi instrumentalist and gifted shamanic, somatic bodyworker who uses sacred sound and breath to create deep transformational spaces Tim guides people on the path of personal transformation. He initiates a deep inner journey to walk people home to themselves, to connect back to the earth, back to who they truly are so they can live and lead from their heart. His passion is to walk through the shadows of deep change. Tim is building a transformational movement where everyone is guided to consciously lead within their own life, so they can live a life of purpose and fulfilment in their own genius. Tim was initiated onto the shamanic path from spirit and plant medicines, along with having trained in breath work, jungle medicine with the Katukina tribe of Brazil and worked with the Shipibo and Mestiso lineage in Peru. His focus now is on expanding consciousness and deepening human connection. We talk about the intersection of men's work and sexuality as well as the transmission of sexuality teachings in the Tantra community.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Pharrell Shaymar. Pharrell is a professional boxing coach, proud trans man, and LGBTQ+ advocate and community leader. Pharrell uses the prism of boxing through advocacy, breaking down barriers, educational videos, and breaking stereo types of trans people in combat sports. His key message is, "I will never become biologically male, but I am a gentleman."

Key points:

- Pharrell introduces himself

- Pharrell’s journey to advocacy

- Challenges of trans athletes in sports

- Pharrell’s personal experience as a trans man

- Navigating masculinity and identity

- Advice on mental health and self-discovery

Relevant links:

Pharrell’s Instagram: @pharrell_shaymar

Pharrell’s website: https://www.pharrellshaymar.com/

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat with Dr. Laurie Mintz, a Professor at the University of Florida where she teaches Human Sexuality to hundreds of undergraduates yearly. She has published over 55 academic works. She is the author of two popular press books—both with published studies demonstrating their effectiveness: Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It  and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex.  Mintz has a private practice, working with clients on general and sexual issues. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, indicating that her work has had a positive national influence on the field of psychology.

Key points:

• Laurie introduces herself
• Eating disorders and sexuality
• Penis size anxiety
• Representations of the penis
• The importance of the clitoris
• Prioritizing pleasure with vibrators
• Men being invested in women’s pleasure
• Closing the orgasm gap

Relevant links:

Laurie’s Website: https://www.drlauriemintz.com/ 

Laurie’s Instagram: @drlauriemintz 

Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/ 

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Lorraine. She is a Somatic Therapist, Pleasure Coach and Bodyworker based in the Western Suburbs of Melbourne. She has been working in the field of sexuality for the past 25 years. Starting out in the strip clubs of the UK and moving into therapy and bodywork in 2015. She works with all genders, specialising in working with people who have experienced sexual and physical trauma and people recovering from surgery and illness. Helping them to feel more pleasure and restore sexual function. She works both online and in person offering 1:1 sessions and group workshops.

Key Points:

• Lorraine introduces herself
• Common experiences of trauma
• How trauma manifests in the body
• Cam shares about his own traumatic experiences
• Feeling pleasure after trauma
• Men acknowledging their trauma
• Advice for moving forward

Relevant Links:

Lorraine's Instagram: @lorrainepentello

Lorraine's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lorrainepentello

Lorraine's website: https://lorrainepentello.com/

Quicky #16 is from Season 2, Episode 2; Porn Yoga: Healthy Porn Watching (with Joseph Kramer, Ph.D.)

Welcome back to the #MenSexPleasure podcast, this is episode 17. Today, I'm chatting with Joseph Kramer, Ph.D. For forty years, Joseph has traveled the world teaching erotic bodywork. In 1984, he founded the Body Electric School in Oakland, California, where he trained thousands of professional massage therapists, erotic bodyworkers and somatic educators. In 2003, Joseph founded the new legal profession of Sexological Bodywork™. Joseph Kramer teaches in Sexological Bodywork trainings in California, Europe, Canada, Brazil and Australia and through his educational websites:  OrgasmicYoga.com, EroticMassage.com, EroticIntegration.com and YogaofSex.com. Joseph and I discuss his practice of Porn Yoga, now called Erotic Integration. I've spoken on many other podcasts about my opinion that porn can be used intentionally as a tool to aid our arousal. This point of view comes directly from Joseph and the work that he does. We speak about how to watch porn healthily.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Kute Blackson. A beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher, Kute offers a fresh, bold look at spiritual awareness for a whole new generation. Born in Ghana, West Africa, Kute’s multicultural upbringing as the child of a Japanese mother and a Ghanaian father has spanned four different continents. His unique lineage lay the foundation for his approach to breaking down barriers and unlocking an individual’s true gifts and greatness. He is a national best-selling author of You.Are.The.One. and his new book, The Magic of Surrender, is a guide to move you past inner struggle to discover the power of letting go of control and how letting go leads to more.

Key Points:

• Kute introduces himself
• Narratives imposed upon us
• Cultural influences and returning to our roots
• What it means to surrender
• Freedom to be yourself
• Surrendering to pleasure
• Letting go of fear

Relevant Links:

Kute's website: www.kuteblackson.com

Kute's Instagram: @kuteblackson

Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/

Quicky #15 is from Season 2 Episode 1: Getting Men To Open Up About Sex (with Dr. Juliana Hauser)

On the first episode of season 2 (episode 16 overall) of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Dr. Juliana, the “girl next door” (with a PhD). Dr. Juliana is always up for a down and dirty conversation about sexuality and intimacy. As a credentialed therapist, academic, and a bonafide (S)expert, Dr. Juliana has spent decades counseling and supporting thousands of individuals on their paths to discover and own their sexual agency. Having traversed her own journey through love, loss, motherhood, and the world of academics, Dr. Juliana has come to understand that ownership over one’s own sexuality is the at the foundation of every fulfilled and confident person. She has developed a clear, action-driven method to help people of all backgrounds discover their own path to authenticity through holistic sexuality.  Dr. Juliana is a certified by Betty Dodson as a BodySex Workshop facilitator and offers tons of tips, insight and support through coaching, therapy, online courses and in person retreats for becoming your own (s)expert over at dr-juliana.com. We chat about working with men, the differences between being a man and woman in this space, and how we can get men to open up to talk about sex.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Habeeb Akande. Habeeb is a British-Nigerian sex educator, erotologist, and author. Habeeb has authored several books on Islamic erotology and African sexual practices to empower women and couples. His bestselling book, Kunyaza: The Secret to Female Pleasure, explores the ancient African practice of squirting and sexual pleasure. He recently helped produce and feature in the BBC documentary, The Orgasm Gap exploring female sexual pleasure in Rwanda. He is passionate about female sensuality and aims to close the gender orgasm gap. Primarily based in the UK, Habeeb has given intimacy workshops and seminars in the UK, France, Brazil, Curaçao, and the US. The two of us talk about his research into Islamic erotology and also his education of the practice of Kunyaza. Beyond that we discuss religious and cultural perspectives of sex and pleasure as well as the importance of speaking directly to men about this.

Key Points:

• Habeeb introduces himself
• A Taste of Honey: Sexuality and Erotology in Islam
• Ars erotica vs scientia sexualis
• Kunyaza: The Secret to Female Pleasure
• Changing your approach to sex
• Engaging men in sexual development
• African sexual practices and cultural appropriation

Relevant links:

Habeeb’s Instagram: @Habeeb_Akande

Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/

Quicky #14 is an exerpt from Season 1 Episode 15: What Do Men Fantasize About? (with Dr. Justin Lehmiller)

On this episode of the podcast, I chat with Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is author of the blog Sex and Psychology and the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education. He has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs. We discuss his research about fantasies and particularly about what men fantasize about, as well as how to healthy explore your desires.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dane Tomas. Dane is an entrepreneur, artist, and teacher whose work is focussed on the healthy integration of the spiritual and material aspects of life. He is the author of 7 books, the creator of various transformational practices and the founder of the EE academy - a not so secret society of spiritual entrepreneurs who want to have a significant worldly impact. You can find his podcast, The EE Podcast with Dane Tomas, on Spotify and iTunes. The two of us briefly talk about his work but we mostly discuss things like how polarity coaches use outrage marketing to exploit people’s insecurities and how the nuance of masculinity is lost in the social media landscape of stereotypical alpha bros and lefties.

Key Points:

• Dane introduces himself
• What is Esoteric Entrepreneurship?
• Attaching a monetary value to spiritual healing
• Social media and the lack of nuance
• Unpacking “polarity”
• Is masculinity under attack?
• Men’s work and collective action
• Advice for young men

Relevant links:

Dane’s Instagram: @dane.tomas

Dane’s website: https://www.danetomas.com/

Quicky #13 is from Season 1, Episode 14: Sexual Energy Sublimation (with Taylor Johnson). 

On this episode of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast, I chat with Taylor Johnson about sexual energy sublimation. Taylor is a sex educator and intimacy coach who helps men master their sex lives in an integrated way. Our philosophies about masculinity and sexuality seem to align and so Taylor and I had a great conversation together about the practical elements of sexual energy transmutation and sublimation. If you've ever been interested in learning how to work with sexual energy and use it to create and manifest other things, this is the episode for you.

From the solo episode #69 with Cam Fraser. More from that episode:

- The stigmatization of male sex toys

- Celebrating men’s self-pleasuring

- Fifty Shades of Grey Relentless Vibrations Couples Vibrator

- We-Vibe X Lovehoney Clitoral and G-Spot Vibrator

- Blowmotion Warming Vibrating Male Masturbator

- Blowmotion Warming Pulsating Vibrating Male Masturbator

- Blowmotion Real Feel Vibrating Male Masturbator

- Blowmotion Blow Job Real Feel Vibrating Suction Male Masturbator

- Desire Luxury Male Vibator

- Desire Luxury Vibrating Prostate Massager

- Kinky Confessions Card Game

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Teddy Loveny. Teddy is a social impact obsessive who is passionate about bringing an intersectional perspective to the way we observe, measure and interpret change. They have fingers in many pies, working in outcomes measurement for the community sector alongside designing and delivering learning experiences to promote queer literacy and allyship. Teddy is loudly and proudly queer and trans. They love to help others be curious about the intersections of identity, the space we take up and the impact we have on the community around us. The two of us talk about Teddy’s experience as a transmasculine non-binary queer person as well as what all those terms mean to them. We also discuss the supposed erasure of womanhood and attack on masculinity.

Key points:

• Teddy introduces themselves
• Defining transmasculine and non-binary
• Privilege and transitioning
• Societal pressure and the trans narrative
• What does being masculine mean?
• Labels, language, and specificity
• Experimenting with hypermasculinity
• TERFs and the erasure of women
• The attack on masculinity
• “Queer” is a verb

Relevant links:

Teddy’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/teddy-loveny-8a4b9048/

Show Notes:

Abigail Thorn YouTube video: https://youtu.be/v1eWIshUzr8

Quicky #12 is from Season 1, Episode 13: Create Your Own Sexual Rituals (with Paisley Heart)

On this episode, I chat with entrepreneur, artist, and Shamanic practitioner, Paisley Heart. He embodies the hybrid archetypes of the Wild Businessman and Lifestyle Artist. Founder of the shamanic rite of passage event The Funeral and panel style podcast Curious Conversations, and previously such businesses as the holistic digital marketing agency DigiLove and Independent record label Fight Music -  his gifts are unique and diverse. Paisley is known to prowl the mysterious shadow realms of business. With the flaming torch of innovation, he sets the normal and mundane ablaze with alternative business approaches. Combining his obsession with spirituality, artistic expression, nature, and ritual, he has made a strong impact on the music, social media marketing, and personal development industries. Paisley’s unorthodox style has often been challenging for his clients and for professionals in the industry. Pushing against these paradigms has become a strong and recognizable brand he is proud of. Paisley has proven that he has a sharp eye in discerning who he works with and where he invests his creative magic. The accolades, achievements, and rapid growth shared between his clients, artists and business are a testament to his uniqueness and grit.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Finn Deerhart. Finn is an AASECT Certified Sexuality Counselor. Through his courses, workshops, retreats, and private sessions, men learn tools to confront their limitations, unravel internal narratives of shame, and spark deeper human connections—grounding themselves into a deeper experience of life. Finn also creates educational erotic content and provides on-site erotic coaching for various organizations, including Himeros TV, an online service that provides explicit educational content for queer men. He co-hosts the weekly Himeros Backstage podcast which can be heard on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Google Podcasts. As a Sex and Intimacy Coach, Finn helps gay and queer men ignite their eroticism and step into their emergent selves. The two of us talk about Finn’s work with gay and queer men, highlighting some of the similarities between his work and my work with straight men. We also discuss our opinions about porn and how to expand the way it is used.

Key points:

• Finn introduces himself
• Finn shares his coming out story
• Do we need labels for our identity?
• What you do isn't who you are
• Overcoming fear, finding solidarity
• Being confused by the porn you watch
• Where sexual fantasies come from
• What is it about porn that turns you on?
• Bad porn vs good porn

Relevant links:

Finn’s Instagram:@finndeerhart

Finn’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/finndeerhart

Finn’s website: https://www.finndeerhart.com/

Cam’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/thecamfraser/

Quicky #11 is from Season 1, Episode 12: Dualism, Relativism and Masculinity (with Jarred Dickie) 

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with a very good friend of mine, Jarred Dickie. Jarred is a friendly face you might have seen around Fremantle, Western Australia, for years. He started his Yoga journey in 2013 as a student of Ava Irani (Spanda school founder) and progressed through the teachings of Hridaya Hatha Yoga. This gentle style of meditative Yoga is rooted in the “Self enquiry” method of Ramana Maharshi. Jarred also co-founded Kommunity Brew Kombucha in 2015, learning the incredible journey of running a small, conscious business. We chat about the dualistic nature of masculinity and femininity as well as the idea that all spiritual practices are true, relative to our own perception and understanding. We also reflect on the current global conditions.