Narcissistic abuse doesn’t begin with cruelty. It begins with connection.
In this episode of Girl, Wake Up!, Amy Polacko sits down with licensed psychotherapist Vanessa Reiser, LCSW, to unpack how narcissists condition, confuse and trap even the smartest, strongest women– and what it actually takes to break free.
Vanessa is the author of Narcissistic Abuse: A Therapist’s Guide to Identifying, Escaping, and Healing from Toxic and Manipulative People. A two-time Ironman, she has run across multiple states in a wedding dress to raise awareness about narcissistic abuse and survivor empowerment. Together, we explore how love-bombing turns into control, why gaslighting erodes self-trust, and how trauma bonds keep women stuck long after the red flags appear.
But this episode isn’t just about the trap. It’s about the comeback.
Vanessa shares how she rebuilt her identity, reclaimed her power and transformed her pain into purpose.
If you’ve ever wondered:
Was it really that bad?
Why did I stay so long?
Why do I still miss him?
This conversation will help you understand the psychology– and reclaim your clarity.
Episode Time Stamps
00:00 - 00:46 Girl, Wake Up Intro
00:47 - 2:39 Welcome to our Girl, Wake Up guest: Vanessa Reiser. Amy deep-dives into her life, work, and activism.
2:40 - 3:10 Men as victims of Narcissistic Abuse. Popular culture headlines such as P.Diddy, and Kevin Spacey.
3:11 - 4:13 It's a Power Dynamic: Why people in positions of power need to step forward.
4:14 - 8:43 Vanessa's book, her work and mission as a clinician, and her experience with pathologized personalities, gaslighting, behavioral disorders, and more.
8:54 - 12:19 Narcissists have a different kind of brain. (Explained)
12:20 - 15:33 Clinician explains how to get out of an abusive situation with a narcissist. Discusses: Trauma bonding, Love bombing; unpacks the abuse cycle.
15:34 - 18:08 Vanessa discusses the psychology behind CULTS. There are different cult systems.
18:09 - 22:12 Dealing with emotionally immature parents (EIPs), narcissistic parents, childhood trauma, identity, and broken family systems.
22:07 - 25:17 When people say the term "narcissist" is overused, the stereotypical narcissist, covert versus overt narcissist
27:18 - 27:53 Truth or Trap segment of the podcast: Narcissists only prey on weak women.
27:54 - 30:30 Letter from a Listener. Amy and Vanessa share their insights
30:31 - 31:44 Thank you, Vanessa. And where the audience can find her online.
31:45 - 31:57 Outro
Find out more about Vanessa Reiser and follow her:
https://tellatherapist.net/
Instagram: @vanessareiserlcsw
Get her book: Narcissistic Abuse
Book a free Coaching Consultation with Amy Polacko here. Follow Amy on Instagram: @freedomwarriortribe
Watch and Subscribe to Girl, Wake Up! On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@amyfreedomwarrior/podcasts
