You’re The Boss, Now What? – Details, episodes & analysis

Hear Scott speak live at the Intentional Leader Summit on August 6th, 2025

Connect with Scott Tillema on Linkedin
Watch Scott's TED Talk: The Secrets of Hostage Negotiators
Recommended Book: Hostage at the Table by George Kohlrieser

Can you lead through conflict—even without trust? Scott Tillema shares hostage negotiation skills that every leader can use to navigate difficult conversations and rebuild trust at work.

What does a hostage negotiator know that can help you manage workplace conflict?

A lot, actually.

In this episode, I’m joined by keynote speaker and former SWAT negotiator Scott Tillema, who brings decades of real-world experience to the conversations leaders dread the most—those awkward, uncomfortable, or downright tense interactions we tend to avoid.

We talk about how to build connection fast (even when trust is gone), what it really means to lead with influence, and why courage—not confidence—is the skill you need to move forward.

And while most of us aren’t trying to talk someone down from a ledge, we are leading people—often without the clarity, tools, or language to move things in the right direction.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between avoiding conflict and wanting a better work culture, this one’s for you.

Key Takeaways

• Why connection—not trust—is the real starting point for influence
• How to coach team members through conflict without being the villain
• What to say to shift someone from combative to collaborative

difficult conversations at work, workplace communication, leadership podcast
new manager tips, managing workplace conflict effectively, how to lead with influence
how to have hard conversations as a manager, conflict resolution strategies for leaders, how to build trust at work after it’s broken

• Book List (Leadership, Personal Development, Parenting) 
• List of Assessments (Take DISC or Working Genius and get a free coaching debrief!)
• Read the Book: Taking Intentional Action

These 9 life lessons aren’t in a textbook, but they should be. Whether you're a new grad, a new manager, or someone guiding the next generation, this episode helps you grow with purpose, confidence, and self-awareness.

Most of us don’t learn life’s biggest lessons in high school, college, or even from a mentor.
 We learn them through awkward conversations, missed opportunities, and figuring it out one hard moment at a time.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever typed “life advice for new graduates,” “how to be more confident,” or “personal development tips” into a search bar. I’m walking you through 9 things I wish someone had told me at 18 (and again at 28).

These are hard-earned lessons about identity, emotional intelligence, self-leadership, confidence, and growing into the kind of person others want to follow. Whether you're stepping into your first leadership role or mentoring someone who is, this episode gives you practical tools to become more self-aware, make better decisions, and build resilience before life forces you to.

It’s everything I wish had been taught in the common sense class we never got.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll learn:

• How to build confidence through action instead of waiting for it to appear
• What it means to frontload your life so you’re ready when things get hard
• Why self-awareness is the most underrated leadership skill
• How to mentor young adults without judgment or frustration
• The mindset shift that changed everything for me: you’re responsible to people, not for them
• 
  

Not everyone loves networking. Maybe you’re not a fan of small talk, maybe you feel like you never get anything out of it, or maybe you just don’t see the point. But here’s the reality, whether you love it or hate it, in-person networking is one of the most powerful ways to grow your career, build influence, and open new opportunities. And the best part? You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room or work the entire crowd for it to work for you.

In this episode, I break down three reasons you can’t afford to ignore in-person networking and how to make it work for you—without it feeling forced or transactional.

✔️ Why my first management job was a disaster—until I got out of the office.✔️ How getting involved with the right groups can fast-track your opportunities.✔️ The mindset shift that will make networking feel natural instead of awkward.✔️ Why your presence matters more than just showing up.✔️ How executive presence plays a major role in your networking success.

📖 Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi – A must-read on building authentic relationships that create opportunities.

📢 Quote by John Burton Adams:

“There is no such thing as a self-made man. We are made up of thousands of others; everyone who has ever done a good deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement, has entered into the makeup of our character, our thoughts as well as our success.”

🔹 My quote:

“Your experiences can only rise to the level of energy that you bring to them.”

🎧 Loved this episode? Subscribe, leave a review, and let’s connect! Tell me, what’s one way networking has helped you in your career?

Feedback can feel awkward, whether you’re giving it, receiving it, or wondering if it’s even worth it when nothing seems to change. But without a strong feedback culture, your team won’t grow, and you’ll keep running into the same issues. Today, Jen Recla is back to break down what psychological safety actually looks like at work, how to make feedback feel useful instead of personal, and the biggest mistakes leaders make when trying to create an open culture.

Ever asked for feedback, only to hear crickets? Or worse, your team gives input, but nothing changes? That’s a fast track to disengagement, and today we’re talking about why.

In this episode, Jen Recla joins me to break down what it really means to build a psychologically safe workplace, one where people feel comfortable speaking up without fear of judgment or backlash.

We’re covering:

✅ Why candor is not the first step in building trust, it’s actually the result✅ How to get useful feedback from your team (instead of vague, unhelpful responses)✅ The biggest mistake leaders make after asking for feedback—and how to fix it✅ Why anonymous feedback can backfire if you haven’t built trust first✅ The simple framework for giving meaningful recognition that actually lands

Plus, we discuss why some companies avoid using Radical Candor (and what to do instead), how to navigate negative feedback without spiraling, and why your team stops giving feedback if they don’t see action.

• Feedback isn’t just about asking, it’s about acting on it so your team knows it matters.
• If you don’t have a psychologically safe workplace, anonymous feedback might not give you the full picture, it could just open the floodgates.
• Recognition isn’t one-size-fits-all. Learning how your team prefers to receive praise makes it more impactful.

Let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me on LinkedIn or Instagram and let me know, what’s the best (or worst) feedback you’ve ever received?

• Connect with Jen Recla
• Books Mentioned:
  • The Fearless Organization by Amy Edmondson
  • Radical Candor by Kim Scott

Feeling overwhelmed by your workload? You’re not alone. Leaders everywhere struggle with time management, prioritization, and setting boundaries. In this episode, leadership expert Jen Recla shares why your relationship with time is holding you back, and how to shift it so you can reclaim control over your schedule, focus on what truly matters, and avoid burnout.

Do you constantly feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day? Are you overwhelmed with meetings, emails, and never-ending to-do lists? You’re not alone. Many new managers find themselves drowning in tasks, unable to focus on leadership responsibilities. But what if the real issue isn’t time—it’s how you think about it?

In this episode, Jen Recla joins me to break down the mindset shift needed to navigate your workload effectively. We talk about shifting from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset with time, setting boundaries without guilt, and prioritizing tasks that actually move the needle. Plus, we tackle the unique challenges of transitioning from an individual contributor to a leadership role, and how to avoid falling into the trap of doing instead of leading.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll learn:✔️ Why “I don’t have time” is a lie, and what it really means✔️ How to transition from task execution to leadership without burnout✔️ Practical strategies to set boundaries and protect your time

Guest & Additional Links:🔹 Connect with Jen Recla on [LinkedIn]🔹 Jen’s workshop on navigating workload🔹 Books mentioned:

• Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin
• Buy Back Your Time by Dan Martel
• Atomic Habits by James Clear

We all know holding others accountable is tough, but what about holding ourselves accountable? Life has a way of getting in the way, making it hard to stick to our goals. In this episode, we’re talking about why self-accountability is so challenging and the strategies you can use to finally follow through.

Have you ever set a goal, felt motivated at first, and then watched it slip through your fingers as life got in the way? Maybe you’ve tried time blocking, accountability partners, or even sheer willpower—but none of it seems to stick.

Here’s the truth: Self-accountability is one of the hardest things to master because no one is watching. You can make excuses, shift priorities, and let things slide without immediate consequences. But over time, it adds up, leaving you feeling frustrated and stuck.

In this episode, we’re diving into:✔️ The real reason we struggle with self-accountability✔️ How to shift from motivation-based action to discipline-based action✔️ The "accountability mirror" method and how to use it effectively

By the time you finish listening, you’ll learn:

• How to identify what’s truly stopping you from reaching your goals
• A powerful shift that makes accountability feel easier
• Why setting smaller, adaptable habits is more effective than rigid time blocking

Struggling with self-accountability? I’d love to hear from you! Send me a message on LinkedIn at Desiree Petrich and let me know what challenge you’re working through. Let’s tackle it together.

📖 Grab a copy of my book, Taking Intentional Action 

📚 My must-read book list for leadership and self-improvement

Holding your team accountable without feeling like a micromanager is tough. No one wants to be the boss who’s constantly checking in, chasing deadlines, and fixing mistakes. But when accountability is missing, your team underperforms, and you end up carrying the weight of their unfinished work.

In this episode, I’m sitting down with Katie Armentrout to break down the biggest mistakes leaders make when trying to hold their team accountable, and how to avoid them. We’ll talk about why setting clear expectations isn't enough, the role your own leadership habits play in team accountability, and how to correct problems before they turn into bigger issues.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated by missed deadlines, unclear communication, or a lack of follow-through, this episode is for you. Let’s get into it.

• Connect with Katie Armentrout 

  • Website
  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram
  • Facebook 
• Listen to: Are You Great at Your Job, but Not So Much With the People? 

• Take the Four Tendencies Quiz (Gretchen Rubin) 

• Learn About Working Genius

• How to hold your team accountable without creating resentment
• Why accountability starts with YOU, and how to model it effectively
• The key to setting clear expectations so there’s no confusion
• Why people resist accountability and how to shift the team culture

When you finish listening, I’d love to hear your biggest takeaway from today’s episode. Take a screenshot, share it to your LinkedIn or Instagram stories, and tag me @desireepetrich so I can say thanks.

And if you love this show, leaving a quick review is the best way to support it—it helps more leaders like you find these episodes.

So, you’ve just stepped into a leadership role, you’re working toward a promotion, or you’ve been leading for years but know there’s always more to learn. But here’s the thing: no one actually taught you how to lead.

Now, you’re juggling decisions, managing personalities, and wondering, Am I even doing this right?

I’ve been there. I went from being a first-time manager at 24, learning everything the hard way, to running a leadership development company and helping leaders step into their roles with confidence. That’s exactly why I created You're the Boss, Now What?

This is the podcast for managers at every stage—whether you’re new to the role or ready to sharpen your skills—who want to:✅ Lead with confidence✅ Communicate with impact✅ Build teams that actually work together

But don’t expect another stuffy leadership podcast filled with corporate jargon and theories that don’t work in real life. Here, we get into the real stuff:💡 Tough conversations💡 Awkward moments💡 The unspoken struggles of leadership that no one warns you about

And it’s not just me talking. You’ll hear from expert guests, leaders, coaches, and real managers who share their biggest wins, worst mistakes, and the lessons they wish they’d learned sooner.

So, if you’re tired of winging it and want actionable strategies to actually enjoy being a leader, hit Follow and join me every week. Let’s ditch the stress, master the human side of leadership, and turn you into the kind of boss people want to work for.

Because you’re the boss now. Let’s make sure you lead like it.

Have you ever left a meeting thinking that was a complete waste of time?Do your meetings lack structure direction or engagement?

Most meetings feel unproductive and take up valuable time,  not to mention they lack real discussions conflict or engagement.Meetings are treated as necessary evils instead of opportunities for strategy and problem-solving.

Bad meetings aren’t just annoying they impact team morale and productivity. People avoid meetings or tune out because they feel ineffective. Without the right structure meetings become pointless status updates instead of spaces for real problem-solving. 

In Death by Meeting Patrick Lencioni breaks down four types of meetings that every leader should implement. Understanding and using the right type of meeting at the right time can transform your team’s efficiency and engagement!I’ll walk you through the four meeting structures and how to use them effectively. 

By the end of this episode you’ll learn

The two biggest reasons meetings fail inefficiency and boredomWhy conflict in meetings is necessary and how to make it productive instead of awkwardThe four types of meetings and how to use them to structure your team’s discussions

Death by Meeting by Patrick LencioniNext Episode in This Series Creativity Inc by Ed Catmull

Make sure to hit subscirbe, so you don't miss next week's episode with our guest Katie Armentrout, to talk about the topic of Accountability 

Becoming a manager for the first time can feel overwhelming. You think you should have all the answers, but instead, you’re second-guessing everything. I know because I’ve been there. In this episode, I share the biggest mistakes I made when stepping into leadership at 24 and what I wish I had known to make the transition easier.

Have you ever felt like you have no idea what you’re doing as a leader?

Most first-time managers struggle with imposter syndrome, micromanagement tendencies, and feeling like they need to prove themselves. When I became a manager at 24, I thought leadership meant fixing every problem myself and making sure my team liked me. Instead, I burned myself out, made my team frustrated, and didn’t gain the respect I was hoping for.

This episode is all about the leadership mistakes I made so you don’t have to.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll discover:

• The biggest mistakes I made as a first-time manager and what I should have done differently
• Why trying to fix everything yourself actually hurts your leadership
• How one unexpected challenge changed the way I lead my team

Mentioned in this episode:

• Silos, Politics, and Turf Wars by Patrick Lencioni – a must-read for improving workplace communication
• Finish by Jon Acuff – the book that reshaped my leadership mindset and personal growth
• My full list of top leadership books for new managers → IntentionalAction.net/books

When you finish listening, I’d love to hear from you.Take a screenshot of this episode, share it in your Instagram stories, and tag me @DesireePetrich with your biggest takeaway.

While you’re there, follow me on LinkedIn Desiree Petrich where I share practical leadership tips, team leadership strategies, and career growth insights.

Enjoyed this episode?If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your feedback helps other new managers find this podcast and get the tools they need to lead with confidence.

Coming up next:I Read Death by Meeting by Patrick Lencioni, So You Don’t Have To. We’ll break down common leadership mistakes, the right way to lead a successful team meeting, and how to avoid unproductive workplace meetings.

Hit follow so you don’t miss it.