Explore every episode of the podcast What If Nothing’s Wrong With You?

Binary (Black-and-White) Thinking: Why We Do It, How It Controls Us, and How to Get Free

Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays, discuss binary (black-and-white) thinking and how it shows up in culture, education, media, and clients’ decision-making. Lisa shares reflections from Jane Goodall’s “famous last words” interview, emphasizing that there is no single “right” way to live and that the task is to be yourself. They define ambivalence (having mixed feelings) and cognitive dissonance (stress from holding conflicting beliefs or actions) and connect binary thinking to control, authoritarianism, and white supremacy culture’s “only one right way.” They explore how constant judging fuels anxiety, rumination, and defensiveness, why accepting being “the asshole sometimes” reduces manipulation, and how improv’s “yes, and” rewires rigid thinking toward nuance, paradox, and liberation.

What If Nothing's Wrong With You?

Mental Health In Chaos (Ep. 32)

(Episode recorded September 2025)

Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays discuss the core question “What if nothing is wrong with you?” in the context of todays societal chaos and fascism, especially in Washington, DC, where ICE activity and arrests are creating fear, restriction, and powerlessness. They note many clients “relapsing” into coping behaviors like food restriction, increased drinking, bingeing, and shopping, framing these as attempts to regain control or soothe, and warn that shame and self-ranking reinforce the very dynamics of white supremacy and fascism. They argue there are often no good options, encourage choosing with agency rather than conforming or rebelling, and emphasize “permission” over perfection, empathy without suffering Olympics, and supportive relationships.

00:00 Welcome and Big Question
00:58 Thunderbolts Movie Takeaways
04:34 Pop Culture and Fascism Jokes
05:26 Unicorn Girl Scam Podcast
10:28 Societal Chaos and Relapse
12:33 Life in DC Right Now
18:00 Control Soothing and Shame
21:11 Suffering Olympics and Empathy
22:39 Resisting In Groups
23:33 Empathy Without Centering
24:40 No Win Dilemma
27:09 Permission Over Perfection
28:50 Activism Without Burnout
30:03 Middle Path Agency
33:45 No Good Options
36:38 Drop The Virtue Tests
39:38 Shame Helps Fascists
41:24 Closing And Reviews

Exploring Relationship Dynamics and the Allure of Heated Rivalry | What If Nothing's Wrong With You Podcast In this episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong With You?' hosts Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays, along with their friend Nnaemeka, dive into the societal conditioning around romantic relationships, discussing the concept of relationship propaganda. They focus on the importance of positive role models such as the show 'Heated Rivalry' and its departure from traditional relationship dynamics dominated by power struggles. The hosts also touch on the universal appeal of male tenderness, the concept of 'corrective emotional experiences' through art, and their views on the fluidity of sexuality. Join them for an enlightening and humorous conversation that questions societal norms and offers new perspectives on human relationships.

00:00 Introduction and Greetings

00:35 Relationship Propaganda and Heated Rivalry

02:19 Chitchat and Quitting Things

06:02 The Power of Music and Art

07:12 Rosalia's Album and Movie Recommendations

12:12 Relationship Propaganda and Heated Rivalry Revisited

28:05 The X-Files and Patriarchal Comedy

28:42 Obsession and Starvation Analogy

30:04 Male Tenderness and Cultural Deprivation

32:25 Therapeutic Insights and Corrective Experiences

38:50 Challenging Straightness and Sexual Categories

42:04 Heated Rivalry and Cultural Impact

44:17 Final Thoughts and Recommendations

Exploring Loneliness: Understanding Its Roots and Finding Connection In this episode of 'What, if Nothing is Wrong with You,' hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K Kays, delve into the topic of loneliness. They address the male loneliness epidemic, discuss individual experiences with loneliness, and explore the societal and personal factors that contribute to this issue. The conversation touches on the importance of community, the pitfalls of modern parenting, and the impact of late-stage capitalism and white supremacy on social connection. They also recommend some books, share personal anecdotes, and offer insights into combating loneliness by building relationships with others and with oneself. 

00:00 Welcome and Introductions 

00:20 Discussing Loneliness 

01:01 Book Recommendations 

08:02 Therapy Horror Stories 

15:11 Loneliness Epidemic 

29:15 The Impact of Screens on Children's Social Lives 

29:55 Parental Fears and Overprotection 

31:55 The Loneliness Epidemic Among Adults 

32:22 The Pressure on Parents to Orchestrate Social Interactions 

36:42 The Myth of the Perfect Friend Group 

37:38 Contradictions in Social Expectations for Married Women 

41:53 The Importance of Building Social Skills in Children 

42:20 The Role of Community in Non-White Cultures 

51:10 The Need for Vulnerability in Friendships 

53:47 The Value of Imperfect Relationships 

57:47 Final Thoughts on Loneliness and Social Connections

In this episode of 'What if Nothing's Wrong with You?', hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays dive into the importance of apologies in our lives and therapy. Paula shares vivid details about her recent trip to Iceland, highlighting its outstanding natural beauty, culture, and how it's managed by women. The hosts also discuss why therapists and people in general should apologize more and provide insights into the implications of a good apology. They also talk about the cultural resistance to apologies, especially in a patriarchal and narcissistic society.

00:00 Introduction and Today's Topic 

00:44 Iceland Adventures and Observations 

02:18 Cultural and Social Insights from Iceland 

07:50 Book and Media Recommendations 

17:53 Therapy Horror Stories 

23:51 The Importance of Apologizing 

28:50 The Importance of Apologizing in Therapy 

29:36 Therapists and Narcissistic Culture 

31:17 Rupture and Repair in Relationships 

32:15 A Story of Apology in Couples Therapy 

33:29 The Culture of Being Right 

35:10 The Power of Apologizing and Vulnerability 

37:40 The Role of Apologies in Addressing Harm 

38:51 The Impact of Apologies on Relationships 

40:29 The Challenges of Apologizing in a Patriarchal Society 

49:49 The Importance of Setting Boundaries 

57:15 Final Thoughts on Apologies and Boundaries

Fascism and Mental Health: In this episode of 'What if Nothing's Wrong with You?' hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K Kays explore the relationship between fascism and mental illness. They delve deep into how fascism is a form of collective delusion, the inherent issues within imperialistic ideologies, and how therapy often supports these systems. The dialogue extends to encompass how individual mental health struggles are valid responses to the societal structure we live in. They also highlight the dangers of infinite loyalty to illusions and the importance of recognizing the interconnection of all humans. They also speak about taking action via apps like Five Calls and Ice Block to stay engaged in creating positive change. 

00:00 Introduction and Focus 

00:48 Middle Age Purchases and Power Washer Stories 

02:51 Adopting Dogs and Their Impact 

06:07 Indigo Girls Concert Experience 

09:32 Jeff Bezos' Wedding and Wealth 

13:01 Unreal: Behind the Scenes of Reality TV 

20:07 Therapy Horror Stories and Boundaries 

25:22 Introduction to Fascism Discussion 

25:33 Introduction to the Topic 

26:12 Defining Mental Illness and Fascism 

27:15 Fascism as a Mental Disorder 

29:11 The Delusion of Loyalty to Illusions 

32:21 The Role of Anxiety and Discomfort 

37:41 The Influence of Media and Pop Culture 

41:32 Therapists and Ethical Dilemmas 

47:17 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Hosts Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays do a deep dive into the modern obsession with attention. In this episode, we explore the mental health implications of constant screen engagement and discuss the reality of monogamy in today's world. Topics include the impact of AI on human cognition, changes in the perception of relationships, and the importance of awe in everyday life.

Therapist Horror Stories: When Counseling Goes WrongJoin hosts Paula Atkinson and Lisa K as they dive into an engaging and hilarious episode of 'What, If Nothing Is Wrong With You?' where audience members share their most shocking and hysterical therapist horror stories. From therapists falling asleep mid-session to wildly inappropriate disclosures, this episode sheds light on the importance of choosing the right therapist and recognizing when therapy may be doing more harm than good. Tune in for a blend of humor, insight, and audience participation in this captivating episode!00:00 Introduction and Audience Participation01:16 Chit Chat: Adult Swim Team Adventures05:19 TV Show Recommendations: The Righteous Gemstones08:45 Therapy Update and Reflections12:49 Therapist Horror Stories: Inappropriate Advice24:52 Therapist Horror Stories: Mishandling Coming Out28:52 Therapist Horror Stories: The Power Dynamics29:54 The Perils of Self-Disclosure30:31 Therapist Over-Sharing: When It Gets Personal36:33 Couples Therapy Gone Wrong44:02 Therapists Falling Asleep: A New Low49:14 Unhelpful Advice: Have You Tried...?52:39 Conclusion: Sharing Your Stories

Friendship and Ketamine: Deconstructing Cultural MythsIn this episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong With You,' Paula and Lisa dive into the overlooked importance of friendships and the therapeutic potential of ketamine. They begin by discussing their reactions to the Netflix remake of 'The Four Seasons,' and how it reflects outdated notions of relationships. The hosts then explore the cultural devaluation of friendships, particularly stressing how systemic issues like capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy undermine community bonds. They share personal stories, insights from research, and highlight the importance of being deliberate and effortful in maintaining friendships. The episode wraps up with powerful reflections on prioritizing platonic relationships for better mental health and overall well-being.00:00 Introduction and Today's Topics00:36 TV Show Review: The Four Seasons11:22 Young Sheldon and Intergenerational Themes14:18 Book Recommendation: Educated by Tara Westover16:14 The Emerald Podcast and Media Consumption20:06 Ketamine as a Treatment for Mental Health25:53 The Importance of Friendships28:48 The Devaluation of Friendships in Modern Society30:34 Redefining Romance and Friendship33:57 The Origin Story of a Lifelong Friendship39:56 The Myth of the Core Friend Group50:37 The Importance of Friendships for Parents and Children53:58 Friendship as a Sacred Form of Love55:36 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

In this episode of 'What If Nothing Is Wrong With You?', Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays, dive deep into the complexities of the Boomer generation. They explore long-standing requests and discuss the historical, social, and psychological factors that have shaped Boomers into who they are today. Topics include the consequences of post-war trauma, lack of curiosity, over-identification with the country, and the struggles of growing up under Boomer parents. They also address the sensitive issue of going 'no contact' with difficult family members, providing insights into handling these challenging relationships. 

SHOW NOTES

In this episode of 'What if Nothing's Wrong with You?', Paula D. Atkinson, Lisa K. Kays, tackle the misuse and overuse of popular therapy terms like 'narcissist,' 'triggered,' and 'boundaries.' They dive into the potential pitfalls of mislabeling behaviors and emotions, emphasizing the importance of context and cultural factors. The discussion also covers the commodification of therapy terms and how they can sometimes do more harm than good. Along the way, they touch on reality TV insights from 'Squid Games' and 'RuPaul's Drag Race,' highlighting how these shows can serve as sociological experiments. Tune in for a thought-provoking conversation on navigating mental health language in today's world.

00:00 Introduction and Wild Ride Since 2025

01:03 Squid Games Discussion

02:39 Sociological Insights from Reality TV

08:39 RuPaul's Drag Race and Gen X Parenting

12:37 Chapel Rone's Controversial Comments

19:31 Therapy Terms and Their Misuse

34:31 Finding Calm and Setting Boundaries

34:49 Facing Relationship Truths

36:08 Energetic Boundaries and Self-Regulation

37:57 Pathologizing Everyday Behaviors

39:09 Narcissism and Cultural Context

40:57 Dependence and Pathologizing Needs

46:22 Misuse of Psychological Terms

50:29 Depression vs. Heartbreak

54:03 Capitalism and Human Suffering

54:31 Trauma Bonding and Pathologizing Venting

58:10 Ridiculous Diagnoses and Pathological Ambivalence

01:07:38 Concluding Thoughts and Listener Engagement

In this episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong With You?', hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays, dive into the complexities and chaos of online dating. They discuss their clients' experiences, Paula's memories of online dating, and how it can be approached in a relatively sane manner. They explore the impact of societal norms on relationships and the importance of individual preferences, freedom, and self-awareness. The hosts provide practical advice for managing online dating, including treating it as an experiment or skills-building lab. They also emphasize the significance of listening to one's body and give tips on how to gracefully say no to unsuitable matches.

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Hosts

00:10 Diving into Online Dating

00:52 Lady Gaga's New Album and SNL Performance

04:15 Mental Health and Celebrity Struggles

06:25 Community Building and Conflict Management

11:55 Heteronormativity and Relationship Freedom

19:42 Online Dating Experiences and Challenges

23:04 Dating and Speech Therapy: A Hilarious Connection

23:53 The Serial Killer Factor in Dating

24:20 Navigating Chemistry and Safety in Dating

25:58 The Absurdity of Online Dating

28:33 Setting Boundaries and Knowing What You Want

33:17 Listening to Your Body's Signals

37:26 Using Dating as a Skills-Building Lab

39:52 Infinite Permission to Say No

43:57 Final Thoughts and Listener Engagement

Welcome to another episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong with You?' Join Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays as they dive deep into the topics of heteronormativity, monogamy, and allonormativity. In this enlightening and thought-provoking episode, they explore various cultural norms and societal pressures that shape our relationships and identities. They discuss ethical non-monogamy, relationship agreements, and the impact of societal expectations on our mental health. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a review! 

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Theme

01:08 Discussing Heteronormativity and Monogamy

01:31 Lady Gaga and Generational Music Tastes

04:49 Queer Art and Performances

07:57 TV Show Recommendations and Therapy

12:55 Patriarchy and Gender Norms

22:38 Ethical Non-Monogamy Explained

31:22 Challenging Monogamy and Traditional Love

32:36 Queer Identity and Relationships

33:19 The Problem with Heteronormativity

35:13 Redefining Gender and Sexuality

38:04 Relationship Agreements and Consent

41:01 Amatonormativity and Its Impact

45:48 Allonormativity and Sexual Liberation

58:35 The Industrial Revolution's Influence on Family Structures

01:04:16 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In this episode of 'What if Nothing's Wrong with You?' Paula Atkinson and Lisa Kays dive deep into the concept of autonomy and the importance of setting boundaries even if it means disappointing others. They address a listener's question about overcoming anxiety and discuss the pitfalls of bad therapy practices. The hosts also reflect on their personal experiences of stepping away from obligatory engagements, the societal expectations placed on women, and the crucial distinction between autonomy and selfishness.

Join us as we delve into discussions about intuition, community service, and the importance of staying connected in an increasingly fragmented world. From touching on the magic of Trader Joe's to the role of libraries and touching trees, we explore ways to stay sane and connected in tumultuous times. Plus, hear our thoughts on the powerful shifts with Pluto entering Aquarius and find out our updates on personal intuition and community gossip. As always, we aim to serve therapists and individuals looking for community and healing. Give us a review on Youtube, iTunes, follow us on Instagram, and join the conversation!

In this episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong with You?', hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays discuss the pervasive issue of over-functioning, particularly among women. They explore the cultural grooming that perpetuates this behavior, the resentment it breeds in relationships, and the importance of being honest with oneself and others. From pop culture influences to personal anecdotes, Paula and Lisa delve into the dynamics that keep many trapped in cycles of over-functioning and under-functioning. They offer insights and practical advice on how to break free from these harmful patterns, advocating for authenticity, self-compassion, and genuine connection.

Navigating Tough Times: Laughter, Grief, and Community

Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays discuss coping mechanisms for challenging times in the latest episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong With You.' Recorded on February 12th, they touch on the importance of humor and playfulness in resistance, the necessity of allowing oneself to grieve, and the benefits of crying. Highlights include a thorough breakdown of Kendrick Lamar's Super Bowl Halftime Show, the portrayal of covert narcissism in 'Bad Sisters,' and a review of 'Young Sheldon.' The episode also discusses strategies for better mental health and sustaining a joyful resistance, including changing relationships with social media. Join Paula and Lisa for an improv painting workshop on March 8th to engage in mindful and creative healing.

Hosts Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays dive into the topic of self-diagnosis, particularly with mental health conditions. Responding to a listener's request, they explore why many young people are turning to TikTok for information on mental health, and the mixed reactions from clinicians. The hosts share personal stories and insights, emphasizing the importance of allowing self-diagnosis as a tool for understanding and empowerment. They discuss the societal resistance to acknowledging neurodivergence and the potential harm caused by treating neurodivergent individuals as neurotypical. They also touch on the inadequacies of the current educational and healthcare systems in accommodating diverse mental health needs. The episode concludes with a call to embrace self-diagnosis and support the younger generation's quest for mental health awareness. 

Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays discuss various easy-to-implement activities to improve mental health without the need for extensive therapy. They address topics like blocking negative people, planning trips, spending time outdoors, trusting intuition, the importance of sleep, and finding joy in frivolous activities. The episode also touches on serious issues, such as the recent allegations against P. Diddy and the problematic nature of group therapy sessions.

Therapists Paula D Atkinson and Lisa discuss the dark roots and current issues within modern psychotherapy, focusing on its links to white supremacy, colonialism, and patriarchal systems. They explore the historical context of psychotherapy, its evolution, and how these deep-seated prejudices continue to affect the profession today. The episode also covers the significance of critical self-awareness, liberation psychology, and the importance of confronting one's own biases for personal and societal healing.

In this episode of 'What If Nothing Is Wrong with You,' Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays tackle the topic of intuition. They share anecdotal experiences, discuss the difference between intuition and anxiety, and offer practical tips on how to trust your inner voice. They also touch on popular culture references like the TV show 'Shrinking,' the movie 'The Substance,' and a concert experience with boomer attitudes. The episode wraps up with a fun exercise to help listeners practice listening to their intuition.

Navigating Post-Election Anxiety: A Psychotherapy Perspective

On November 6th, 2024, seasoned psychotherapists Lisa and Paula offer a candid and heartfelt discussion following the recent election. They share personal and professional reflections on living through multiple Trump elections and the profound impact on mental health. They stress the importance of staying in the present, processing emotions, and fighting dehumanization in daily life. Through anecdotes and insights, Lisa and Paula emphasize the need for compassion, self-awareness, and local action to navigate these turbulent times.

In this episode, hosts Lisa Kays and Paula D. Atkinson discuss their personal journeys to sobriety, their complex relationships with the 12-step programs, and the cultural issues surrounding addiction recovery. They highlight how sobriety and recovery can be nuanced, personal experiences rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. The episode also examines the impact of toxic relationships on mental health and well-being, drawing from real-life examples and professional insights. Additionally, they touch on the various financial burdens faced by therapists and critique systemic issues within the medical and social work fields.

In this episode, hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa Kays delve into the intricacies of female friendships, the physical and mental challenges of menopause, and the importance of companionship in combating loneliness. They share personal stories and trips, emphasize the need for maintaining a sense of self beyond societal and familial roles, and provide humorous anecdotes about introducing classic TV shows to younger generations. This episode also highlights discussions on gender roles, the undervaluation of friendships, and the health impacts of over-functioning. Referencing Jane Fonda's advocacy and statistical data, the conversation advocates for supportive relationships and the critical role they play in women's well-being, especially during hormonal transitions.

In this episode, hosts Lisa Kays and Paula D. Atkinson discuss the influence of Oprah Winfrey on mental health and culture. They highlight Oprah's positive contributions by promoting therapy, mental health awareness, and trauma-informed care through her show and books. They also critique the negative impact of her endorsement of dietary practices and figures like Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz. Additionally, the hosts share personal reflections on concerts and experiences, including a humorous story about Nicki Minaj tickets.

In this episode, hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa Kays dive into various topics including their recent TV show binges and the representation of fat characters in media. They also discuss the importance of play in healing trauma and share personal experiences around rediscovering creativity in adulthood, like taking up painting and violin lessons. The main segment focuses on understanding when therapy feels stuck and what to consider if you feel it's time to see your therapist less or leave altogether. They offer insights on recognizing the need for change, respecting one's own intuition, and understanding the dynamics of the doctor-patient relationship. The episode concludes with reflections on the necessity and value of letting relationships and activities die when they've served their purpose.

In this podcast, hosts Lisa Kays and Paula D. Atkinson discuss the impact of play, improvisation, and creativity on mental health and well-being. They debunk the notion that wellness and sanity require hard work, arguing instead that expansion, expression, and amusement are key to mental wellness. They explore the use of improvisation in therapy and how it fosters secure attachment, contrasting it with the restrictive nature of white supremacy culture. The hosts also talk about various forms of art, such as intuition painting, as tools for accessing one's true self. Furthermore, they critique societal pressures around body image, particularly in Hollywood, and challenge the glorification of hard work in both personal growth and relationships.

In this episode, hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa Kays discuss the nuances of self-disclosure in therapy, especially in the context of their own experiences with grief and loss. They emphasize the importance of therapist transparency when appropriate, the different impacts of self-disclosure on clients, and the consideration of each client's unique relational trauma. Throughout the conversation, they encourage viewers to trust their instincts regarding their therapist-client relationship and the importance of effective, appropriate self-disclosure. The episode also touches on Beyonce's latest album, 'Cowboy Carter' and it's cultural impact.

TV and Celebrity Therapists: The Good, the Bad, and the Ethical Dilemma

In this episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong With You?', hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa Kays delve into the portrayal of therapists on TV and in celebrity culture. They discuss their favorite and least favorite TV therapists and analyze why these portrayals often miss the mark. The hosts explore characters from shows like 'The Sopranos,' 'The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,' 'American Horror Story,' 'Ted Lasso,' and 'Big Little Lies,' discussing how they impact the public’s perception of real therapy. The podcast emphasizes the importance of realistic and ethical portrayal of therapists and shares insights on what to look for in a good therapist.

Chit Chat, Couples Therapy.

Celebrity Chit-Chat, Intuition, Patriarchy Silencing Women Through Psychiatry.

Healing Therapists.

Celebrity Chit Chat: Taylor Swift, Rebel Wilson and Ayo Edebiri.

In this episode we talk about Taylor Swift being a Psychic Witch? Instagramer @movefatgirl and Diagnoses.