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What if the freedom you're looking for isn't just about quitting porn, but reaching a point where you no longer feel the need to turn to it?
For years, I was chasing happiness in all the places I thought I was supposed to find it. Success, relationships, sex, pleasure. On the outside, things seemed to be going well. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction and a growing sense that something was missing.
I remember reaching a point in college when I started questioning everything. If I was getting the things I wanted, why wasn't I happy? And if I kept living this way, would I ever be?
That question eventually led me to meditation, Buddhist philosophy, and a completely different understanding of what it means to live a fulfilling life.
In this special reshare from Thriving with Addiction, I join host Dr. John Avery to talk about that journey, the role shame played in keeping my struggles hidden, and what I've learned about genuine freedom in recovery.
In this episode, we explore:
- How early experiences of sexual shame can teach us to hide behaviors rather than understand them, creating patterns that follow us into adulthood
- Why addressing the underlying craving for relief matters more than focusing exclusively on porn or any single addictive behavior
- What years of silent meditation retreats taught me about experiencing uncomfortable emotions without immediately escaping them
- Why finding a nonjudgmental community can be more effective than relying on motivation alone, especially when the initial excitement of quitting wears off
- What Buddhists call the bliss of blamelessness, and why living without secrecy can bring a deeper sense of peace than simply maintaining a streak
One of the most encouraging things I've experienced is that recovery doesn't have to feel like an endless fight. With time and practice, the urges that once seemed impossible to resist can become less frequent and easier to navigate.
If you're somewhere on that journey, I hope this conversation reminds you that there's more to recovery than just stopping a behavior. There's an entire life waiting to be lived.
Timestamps
00:00 Opening: How Shame and Addiction Begin
01:15 Introducing the Conversation With Dr. John Avery
02:20 The Unhooked App
03:14 Unhooked Podcast Introduction
03:53 Dr. John Avery Introduces Jeremy
04:35 Jeremy's Life in Thailand
05:21 How My Porn Addiction Started
07:06 Why Porn Became an Emotional Escape
09:00 Sexual Shame and Mixed Messages
10:11 Understanding the Root of Addiction
11:33 The Moment I Questioned My Happiness
13:17 How Buddhist Philosophy Changed My Perspective
15:23 Silent Retreats and Becoming a Buddhist Monk
17:33 Learning to Work With Cravings
19:47 Breaking the Silence Around Porn Addiction
21:54 The First Time I Publicly Shared My Story
24:30 Talking About Pornography and Children
26:16 Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation
27:53 Rebuilding Relationships and Intimacy
29:15 Why Community Matters in Recovery
31:39 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn
34:15 Inside Unhooked Academy
35:05 Why Shame Keeps Addiction Alive
36:24 Closing Thoughts
Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co
Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com
This conversation originally aired on Thriving with Addiction.
