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Explore every episode of the podcast Unblock Your BS

Dive into the complete episode list for Unblock Your BS. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

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TitlePub. DateDuration
The 6 Things That Kill Attraction in a Relationship07 oct. 202600:54:23

You can be successful at work, disciplined with your goals, financially secure... and still have no idea why your relationship keeps falling apart.

Because the pattern causing problems at home might not actually be a "relationship problem."

In this episode, I'm joined by high-performance coach Brad Bizjack to talk about the subconscious beliefs and patterns running underneath how we show up in relationships, work, success and even the goals we say we want.

And because apparently interviewing Brad wasn't vulnerable enough, I volunteered myself for a little live coaching.

We get into:

  • Why the same subconscious pattern can show up completely differently at work and at home

  • A simple way to uncover beliefs you don't realize you're carrying

  • My own belief about becoming more successful and potentially becoming less desirable to men

  • The difference between needing a partner and wanting an interdependent partnership

  • Why old relationship pain can make a safe person feel unsafe

  • The 3 U's that can kill attraction for feminine energy

  • The 3 C's that can kill attraction for masculine energy

  • Why men need purpose outside of their relationship

  • Why providing for your partner is about a hell of a lot more than money

  • What Brad means when he says "success without fulfillment is failure"

If this episode has you wondering what subconscious patterns are quietly running your life, Brad is hosting his free 5-day Success Accelerator experience.

You'll identify what you actually want, uncover the beliefs and internal conflicts getting in the way, and start working through the patterns that keep creating the "two steps forward, three steps back" cycle.

Join Brad's FREE Success Accelerator here: http://www.bradbizjack.com/a/2148328314/G9M6o6ZH 

Where to find Brad:

__________________________________________________________________________________

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

The #1 Relationship Skill Nobody Teaches You (How to Repair)30 sept. 202600:28:23

What if being "healed" doesn't mean you never get triggered again?

You can do therapy, nervous system work, breathwork, become incredibly self-aware... and still occasionally get defensive, shut down, raise your voice, say something you regret, or hurt your partner without intending to.

Because you're human.

In this episode, Tara breaks down the skill she thinks every relationship actually needs, and it's not "never get triggered again." 

You'll hear:

  • Why regulation doesn't mean never having an emotional reaction
  • How defensiveness can disguise itself as "logic"
  • The difference between intention and impact
  • Why "I was just trying to help" probably isn't helping
  • Questions that replace defensiveness with curiosity
  • What accountability actually looks like beyond an apology
  • How boundaries fit into repair when behavior doesn't change
  • Tara's 3-question post-conflict "relationship debrief"
  • Why learning to fight better can actually create more closeness

If you're a man who wants to become more regulated, consistent, and emotionally safe in your relationship, Healthy Men-tality was built to help you practice these skills with coaching, accountability, and support.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

His Wife Said "I'm Done" and Stopped Believing He'd Change23 sept. 202601:05:19

Danny loved his wife.

He worked 10–14-hour days to provide for his family. His wife stayed home raising and homeschooling their children. From his perspective, he was doing what a husband and father was supposed to do.

But emotionally, he kept everyone at arm's length.

Danny carried a belief that eventually everyone leaves. So without really realizing what he was doing, he protected himself by never letting his wife completely in.

When she was overwhelmed, he fixed.
When conversations got uncomfortable, he checked out.
When conflict showed up, he people-pleased.

Eventually his wife told him she was done.

At the same time, Danny was navigating an entirely different life-altering challenge after an accident left him a quadriplegic. When he joined Healthy Men-tality, he was living away from his wife and children in a rehab facility while trying to figure out whether his marriage could be rebuilt.

At first, Danny attacked his healing the same way he attacked every other problem: learn the tools, check the boxes, fix it. And then he realized something… he was still making his wife responsible for whether his work was "working."

In this episode, we talk about:

  • Why changing to get a specific response from your partner eventually backfires
  • The Healthy Masculine Blueprint lesson that shifted Danny from "doing this for her" to doing it for himself
  • Why his wife initially pushed BACK when he started becoming more consistent
  • The brutally simple thing his eight-year-old son told him about his parenting
  • What Danny finally understood about his wife's mental load
  • Why he freaked out when his nervous system finally started feeling calm
  • How he learned to recognize when he was slipping back into old patterns
  • Why making his wife and children his entire purpose was actually putting more pressure on them
  • Finding purpose again after a spinal cord injury changed the way he saw himself
  • What is happening in Danny's marriage now

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

He Was Called Needy, Sensitive and "The Female in the Relationship"16 sept. 202600:57:07

This week's coaching episode is a behind-the-scenes look at an actual coaching call. 

Our guest came in wanting help moving on from a 12-year relationship, still holding onto the belief that if he could just do things differently, it could still work. What we uncover instead is a pattern of people-pleasing and self-abandonment that goes back much further than this relationship, and what it actually takes to start choosing himself.

In this coaching episode, we unpack:

  • Why people-pleasing can make someone else's happiness feel like your responsibility
  • The connection between self-worth, criticism, rejection, and relationship anxiety
  • Why having needs doesn't automatically make you "clingy" or "needy"
  • The difference between guilt, shame, and actual accountability
  • How childhood experiences can quietly shape what feels familiar in adult relationships
  • Why he kept abandoning himself to keep the relationship stable
  • What fight + fawn responses can look like during conflict
  • A simple breathing technique for regulating before walking back into a stressful environment
  • How to start figuring out who you are after years of defining yourself through a relationship

If you're listening and realizing you've spent years trying to become the person someone else needed you to be, maybe the next chapter isn't about getting them back.

Maybe it's about getting you back.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Why Some Men Obsess Over Understanding Their Ex09 sept. 202600:55:42

Your wife wants a divorce.

She's cold. She won't talk. Maybe she refuses counseling. Maybe she's blaming you for everything that went wrong.

And your brain has decided there's one thing you need to do:

Figure her out.

Why is she doing this? What happened to the woman you married? What could you say that would finally make her understand?

In this episode, Tara is joined by divorce coach Rachael Sloan to talk about why men can become hyperfocused on their wife or ex during an unwanted divorce... and why understanding her usually isn't what gets you unstuck.

Because when your nervous system believes your relationship, family, identity, or future is under threat, your brain does what it was designed to do: It finds the threat and locks onto it. And sometimes, that threat becomes her.

They get into:

  • Why knowing intellectually that you can't control her often changes absolutely nothing

  • How survival mode creates tunnel vision during divorce

  • Codependence vs. hyper-independence vs. actual interdependence

  • Why becoming cold and detached isn't necessarily the same thing as becoming regulated

  • The "white knight" identity and why some men repeatedly choose women they can rescue

  • What happens when the woman you built your identity around saving no longer needs you

  • Why some men don't realize how unhappy they were until the marriage ends

  • The difference between emotional regulation and emotional repression

  • Why grief may be one of the most important emotional skills a man can develop

  • How learning to understand your own emotions can completely change how you show up with your kids

One thing worth remembering from this episode:

Sometimes there is no decision where you don't lose something.

Stay, and something may have to be grieved. Leave, and something else may have to be grieved.

The goal isn't to somehow engineer a life where you never experience loss, but to develop enough self-trust to know: 

Whatever happens next, I can handle it.

Where to find Rachael Sloan:

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

 

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Why Men Need Other Men to Heal02 sept. 202600:40:36

You can have buddies you golf with, hunt with, work with, grab beers with and still have absolutely nobody in your life who knows what's actually going on with you.

Chuck, Barrett, and Bob discovered the difference.

All three joined Healthy Men-tality in August 2025. A year later, they're still here... because they found something they didn't want to give up: a community of men willing to be open, call each other out, and actually hold one another accountable.

This week they join me to talk about why they stayed, what a year of mentoring new guys has taught them, and what it actually looks like when men do this work together instead of by themselves.

We talk about:

  • Why having male friends isn't necessarily the same as having male support

  • The moment these guys started recognizing their own patterns in newer members

  • Why people pleasing and codependency are so damn easy to see in somebody else

  • What happens when a skeptical man finally tries breathwork

  • Why some men come into coaching looking for validation instead of change

  • The stories we create to justify behavior we already know isn't aligned with who we want to be

  • Why integrity became such a huge part of their definition of emotional safety

  • The difference between accountability and simply taking the blame

  • Why an apology without changed behavior eventually means very little

  • What men gain when somebody can say, "Brother, I've been there. And you're full of shit right now."

One thing you'll hear from all three men?

You are not the only man going through this.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

"I Have Everything, But I Feel Nothing" (One Man's Wake-Up Call)26 août 202600:47:40

What happens when you have the marriage, the family, the life you worked for... and somehow you still feel nothing?

That's where "Earl" found himself.

After more than 40 years with his wife, their marriage had been hanging by a thread. Earl knew something needed to change, but traditional therapy hadn't gotten him very far. Then he started looking at something he'd never really understood before: his own nervous system.

In this episode, "Earl" joins Tara to talk about his experience inside Healthy Men-tality program and the dots he began connecting between a traumatic childhood experience, emotional suppression, dismissive-avoidant patterns, and the way he reacted to his wife decades later.

And no, this isn't a story about becoming perfectly regulated.

Earl will be the first one to tell you he still screws it up.

But now he catches it. He understands it. He repairs it. And his family notices the difference.

They talk about:

  • The childhood trauma Earl never realized was still influencing his relationships

  • Why suggestions or criticism from his wife could immediately put him on the defensive

  • How keeping his parents at arm's length became keeping his wife at arm's length

  • Why Earl initially wasn't sold on breathwork, and the session that changed his mind

  • What happened when his wife finally started noticing the changes

  • Why his wife decided to begin her own healing work

  • The difference between knowing your patterns and actually changing them

  • Why healing doesn't mean you stop getting dysregulated

  • The surprising conversation Earl and Tara had about his capacity for joy

  • What it means when you can tolerate pain... but struggle to stay present when life actually feels good

  • Why Earl stayed in the Healthy Men-tality alumni community after his original 12 weeks ended

  • How nervous system regulation started changing his relationship with his son, work and everyday conflict too

One of Earl's biggest realizations?

This work was worth doing regardless of what happened to his marriage. Because whether your relationship survives or not, you still have to live with the man you become next.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

 

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

How to Stay Calm When Your Body Wants to Panic19 août 202600:51:33

Most people think nervous system regulation is just another wellness buzzword.

Take a deep breath. Meditate. Calm down.

But what does it actually mean to regulate your nervous system when your body feels like everything is an emergency?

In this week's episode, Tara sits down with Aleksandra Chojnicka, founder and CEO of Detox House, a nervous system resilience coach who helps high achievers build more capacity through breathwork, cold exposure, and practical somatic tools.

Inside the episode:

  • Why your nervous system mistakes uncertainty for danger

  • What actually happens inside your body during a cold plunge

  • How breathwork and cold exposure train emotional resilience

  • Why "white-knuckling" discomfort reinforces survival mode

  • The connection between childhood conditioning and relationship triggers

  • How to stop outsourcing your sense of safety to your partner

  • Practical ways to regulate your body before difficult conversations

If you've ever caught yourself thinking... "I know better... so why do I keep reacting like this?" this episode will finally help you understand why.

Where to find Aleksa Chojnacka

__________________________________________________________________________________

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

 

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Accountability Isn't Self-Abandonment (Most Men Learn This Too Late)12 août 202601:05:04

One of the hardest parts of separation isn't the loss of the relationship... It's the desperate hope that one day they'll finally understand your side.

That they'll acknowledge what you carried. That they'll admit it wasn't all your fault.

"Rob" applied to come on for coaching while going through a separation. He'd already taken responsibility for his side, but he was stuck needing his wife to acknowledge hers, and couldn't feel okay until she did. Tara helps him see what that need is really about, and what it's costing him.

In this episode:

  • Why accountability is not self-abandonment

  • The hidden difference between defending yourself and making someone feel heard

  • How people-pleasing slowly turns into resentment

  • Why miscarriages, young children, and chronic stress can quietly disconnect couples

  • The survival response underneath defensiveness

  • Why your partner's validation cannot become the foundation of your healing

  • The boundary shift that completely changed Rob's conversations with his wife

  • What emotionally safe leadership actually looks like

If you've ever found yourself thinking "If she would just acknowledge her part..." this conversation might completely change the way you see healing.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

 

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Being the "Nice Guy" Almost Cost Him Everything05 août 202600:49:53

You did the work. You went to therapy, you changed how you show up, you really tried to become a better man. And it still wasn't enough to make her stay. 

So now you're stuck asking yourself, why wasn't I enough? 

If that question has been living in your head, this one's for you.

"Todd" came into Healthy Men-tality trying to save his marriage. Instead, his wife left and quickly moved another man into her home around their three young kids, and Todd was left wading through some of the ugliest parts of his own self-worth. This is the story of how he came out the other side, not by winning her back, but by finding his worth from the inside.

In this episode:

  • Why people-pleasing quietly destroys your identity

  • The difference between performing for approval and creating lasting change

  • How nervous system regulation completely changed Todd's parenting

  • What healthy boundaries actually look like during separation

  • Why your self-worth cannot depend on your partner choosing you

  • Navigating co-parenting when emotions are still running high

  • The surprising shift that made Todd more confident in parenting, friendships, work, and life

One of the biggest takeaways?

You don't have to wait for someone else to validate your growth before becoming proud of who you're becoming. When you stop outsourcing your worth, everything changes.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

 

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Why "Happy Wife, Happy Life" Is Wrecking Your Marriage29 juil. 202600:36:18

The relationship advice you've heard your whole life might actually be keeping you stuck.

"Happy wife, happy life."

"Never go to bed angry."

"Learn to compromise."

Most of us were handed these ideas long before we ever understood relationships. They sound loving. They sound wise. But what if they're quietly creating resentment, self-abandonment, scorekeeping, and emotional distance instead?

In this episode, Tara sits down with relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack some of the biggest myths couples still believe and what actually creates lasting connection.

They explore why emotional safety isn't built through people-pleasing, why accountability is much more than saying "I'm sorry," and how collaboration creates healthier relationships than compromise ever could.

Whether you're rebuilding your marriage, navigating conflict, or simply trying to become a healthier partner, this conversation offers a completely different lens on what strong relationships actually require.

In this episode:

  • Why compromise often creates resentment instead of connection

  • The problem with "Happy Wife, Happy Life"

  • What accountability actually looks like in a healthy relationship

  • How consistency builds emotional safety

  • Why happiness isn't your partner's responsibility

  • The difference between collaboration and compromise

  • Why "Never Go to Bed Angry" isn't always good advice

  • Practical ways to communicate needs without blame or self-abandonment

About Monica Tanner

Monica Tanner is a relationship and intimacy coach certified in Relational Life Therapy and Sex Therapy. She's passionate about helping couples create stronger emotional and physical intimacy by challenging outdated relationship advice and replacing it with practical, collaborative skills that actually work in modern relationships.

She is the author of Bad Marriage Advice and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast.

Connect with Monica

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

 

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

The Truth About Forgiveness Nobody Talks About22 juil. 202600:26:48

How long are you going to keep punishing yourself for it? You hurt someone, or someone hurt you, and you're still carrying it, still replaying it, still waiting to feel like you've finally paid enough. If that's you, this one's worth your time.

In this week's episode, Tara goes deep on forgiveness, the kind people get completely wrong. 

Not letting someone off the hook, not pretending it didn't hurt, but choosing to stop carrying the weight so the suffering finally gets an end date. Whether you're the one who caused the hurt or the one who got hurt, it starts in the same place: forgiving yourself first.

In this episode:

  • Why forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing

  • The hidden cost of staying stuck in resentment

  • Why shame isn't accountability

  • How to forgive yourself after hurting someone

  • How to forgive someone without giving them unlimited access

  • The difference between trust and blind trust

  • Small ways to rebuild integrity after betrayal

  • Why nervous system regulation matters more than apologies

  • How to stop letting painful memories dictate your future relationships

You don't earn your way out of shame by sitting in it. You choose your way out.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

 

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

How Childhood Trauma Destroyed His Marriage15 juil. 202601:04:23

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes conversations about suicide, suicidal ideation, depression, pornography addiction, childhood trauma, emotional abuse, and divorce. Please listen at your own pace. If these topics feel overwhelming right now, it's okay to come back to this episode when you're ready.

You can spend years just getting through life, providing, showing up, going through the motions, while inside you don't feel much of anything at all. No real highs, no real lows, just a numbness you've stopped questioning. If that hits a little too close, this one's for you.

One of our Healthy Men-tality alumni, "Joey," shares his whole story here, from being abandoned as a kid and never having anything explained to him, through a 20-year marriage that ended, all the way to the lowest point of his life and what came after. About six months into doing this work, he went from completely shut down to genuinely loving himself for the first time. His kids have noticed the change. He's playing music again. And the way he tells it will probably land for a lot of people listening.

In this episode:

  • How decades of numbness trace back to childhood wounds and the coping mechanisms built to survive them

  • Why healing the inner child was the thing that unlocked everything for him

  • How getting curious about your own feelings becomes the engine of the work

  • Doing the work for yourself first, and why everyone around you benefits from that

  • Giving yourself grace and taking full accountability at the same time

  • How one regulated person can shift an entire co-parenting dynamic

If you've been numb for longer than you'd like to admit, give this one a listen.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

 

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Can You Really Trust Again After Betrayal?08 juil. 202600:39:25

You almost lost the whole thing. And now, somehow, it's good again. Better than it's ever been, even. So why can't you actually enjoy it? Why does part of you keep waiting for the floor to drop out?

In this week's coaching episode, "Steve" reached out to Tara while he was in the middle of filing for divorce after an affair. 

Months later, the divorce is off the table and he and his wife are more connected than they've ever been, but he doesn't quite trust it, and he came on to get coached through what real repair actually looks like.

In this episode:

  • Why the honeymoon phase after a near-breakup can be a band-aid, not proof you're healed

  • The question that matters more than "can I trust her": can you trust yourself to show up regardless of how she shows up

  • How to tell when a surface argument is really about a deeper need, and what to do instead of just reacting

  • Why you set the terms for conflict before the fight, not in the middle of it

  • Grieving the old relationship so you can build a new one instead of repeating the same cycle

If you're trying to rebuild something after it nearly fell apart, this one's for you. 

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

 

Connect with Tara:

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

What Happens When Only One Partner Does the Work01 juil. 202600:41:08

You've been doing the work. So why does she still have her guard up like nothing's changed?

In this episode, Tara sits down with Coleman, one of the coaches inside Healthy Men-tality, and her own personal nervous system coach. Because he primarily supports women and Tara primarily supports men, the two of them get to see both sides of what happens inside a relationship when nervous systems start to heal.

The heart of this conversation is what happens when one partner is doing the work and the other isn't there yet. When a man starts to regulate and grow, his partner's nervous system often still doesn't trust it, because her body is wired to respond to the old version of him. Coleman and Tara get into why that gap exists and what actually helps close it, plus the practical skills underneath all of it.

Inside this episode, they get into:

  • What it really means when one partner does the nervous system work and the other isn't there yet

  • Why softness is a form of strength for men, not weakness

  • Parts work and shadow work explained simply, and how protective parts quietly run the show

  • The difference between co-regulation and codependency

  • How to set boundaries before conflict starts instead of in the middle of a trigger

  • Capacity, what it is, and why so many men are running on almost none

  • How your nervous system shapes what you perceive as reality

  • What shifts for a woman when her man finally has the capacity to hold space instead of jumping in to fix

When both people build a relationship with their own nervous system, that's when the old cycles finally start to change. If you've got someone in your life who'd benefit from hearing this, share it with them.

Connect with Coleman:

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You Didn't Lose Your Marriage. You Lost Yourself First.24 juin 202600:25:58

You thought you were loving your family. But what if you were slowly abandoning yourself?

In today's episode, Tara reads a post from one of the men inside Healthy Men-tality, shared word-for-word, about what doing the work actually looks like in real time. The ups, the downs, and the slow peeling back of the patterns underneath his behavior.

He writes about self-sacrificing his own needs for years, keeping the peace at any cost, and slowly becoming someone he didn't recognize. A man who did everything he thought a good husband and father was supposed to do, and lost himself in the process, until his wife saying she was done finally woke him up. From there, Tara unpacks what was happening beneath all of it and what it actually takes to come back to yourself.

Inside this episode, we get into:

  • How self-abandonment hides behind being a good provider and protector

  • Why men slide into codependency and people-pleasing without realizing it

  • Covert contracts, doing things for your partner while quietly expecting something back

  • What it means to perform love instead of giving it freely

  • How emotional safety starts within you

  • The role nervous system regulation plays in healthy relationships

  • Why you can't give others a sense of safety and worth you haven't built in yourself first

  • The "healthy man blueprint," choosing who you want to be on purpose

  • How to keep your role and value as a man without losing yourself in the relationship

This is the story of a man finding his way back to himself, and the kind of awareness that changes how you show up for everyone around you. If any of it sounded familiar, that's the work, and it's worth doing.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

How a Man Can Be Successful and Still Have a Personal Life That's Falling Apart17 juin 202600:45:51

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes open discussion of suicide and self-harm. If you're in a hard place right now, it's completely okay to skip this one and come back when you're ready, or pick a different episode. If you do listen, go gentle with yourself and take breaks if you need them.

"Tom" came into the Healthy Men-tality program looking, from the outside, like a man who had it all figured out. Successful career, two decades of marriage, the kind of life that checks every box. Underneath it, his marriage was falling apart, he was living out of a suitcase in a different country every couple of months, and he was running on a survival pattern he'd built as a kid. Be the strong one. Protect everyone. Never let it show.

A few weeks into the program, the weight of all of it caught up with him and he hit his lowest point. What happened after is a big part of why he's on this episode. Not because everything is fixed now, the separation conversations are still happening, but because of how differently he's able to move through it.

Inside this conversation, we get into:

  • How men get conditioned to be "the strong one" and what it quietly costs them

  • Why living in survival mode and gripping for control keeps you disconnected from your own life

  • The line running from childhood trauma to attachment styles to the patterns you keep repeating as an adult

  • What detachment actually means, and why it doesn't mean you've stopped caring

  • Breaking generational cycles instead of handing them down to your kids

  • Forgiving yourself without using shame to do it

  • What shifts when you stop walking on eggshells and start regulating your nervous system

Healing is a long game. You catch the pattern, name what's happening in your body, and choose something different than what you were handed.

JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

"I Thought Providing Was Love"10 juin 202600:59:17

Most men don't lose their relationship overnight.

It happens slowly.

Long work hours. Emotional avoidance. Constant stress. Feeling like roommates instead of partners. One person asking for connection while the other thinks, "I'm doing all of this for us… why isn't it enough?"

In this episode, Marcus opens up about the collapse of his six-year relationship, discovering his partner was emotionally involved with someone else, and the spiral of shame, grief, panic, and self-blame that followed.

But this conversation goes deeper than cheating or heartbreak.

We unpack how childhood trauma, nervous system survival responses, overworking, emotional shutdown, conflict avoidance, and people-pleasing quietly shape adult relationships… especially for men who were never taught emotional regulation in the first place.

Inside this episode:

  • Why overworking is often emotional avoidance in disguise

  • The difference between guilt and shame

  • Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses in relationships

  • Why some people move on quickly after relationships end

  • How childhood abandonment wounds show up in adult intimacy

  • Why many men outsource their self-worth to being chosen

  • What emotional safety actually looks like in a relationship

  • The hidden cost of living in survival mode for years

  • How nervous system work and breathwork help process grief and emotional overwhelm

This one is raw. Honest. Messy. Human.

And if you've ever thought:
"I know better… but I still keep reacting the same way."

You'll probably see yourself somewhere in this conversation.

If you're ready to stop living in survival mode and learn how to lead yourself differently in relationships, you can learn more about Healthy Men-tality here: JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

The "Good Guy" Trap That Quietly Destroys Relationships03 juin 202601:01:36

What happens when a man spends years trying to earn love by abandoning himself?

In this episode, I sit down with Healthy Men-tality member Carlos for an honest conversation about nervous system regulation, shame, people-pleasing, emotional burnout, marriage struggles, and learning how to stop losing yourself inside relationships.

Carlos shares what led him to the program after his wife hit a breaking point in their marriage,  including isolation, depression, emotional shutdown, loss of identity, and feeling completely overwhelmed after moving his family internationally.

Together, we unpack:

  • Why people-pleasing eventually creates resentment

  • The hidden relationship between shame and self-abandonment

  • What emotional leadership actually looks like

  • Why nervous system regulation changes parenting

  • The difference between guilt and shame

  • How men lose themselves trying to "earn" love

  • Why so many men struggle to advocate for their needs

  • The danger of stopping the work once things start feeling good

One of the biggest themes throughout this episode:
You cannot create emotional safety while abandoning yourself.

There's also a powerful section around the "good guy" identity and how many men quietly judge themselves so harshly internally that they become trapped in performance, approval-seeking, and fear of disappointing others.

And honestly… if you're a dad, the parenting conversation alone is worth listening to.

Carlos shares how nervous system work changed the way he responds to chaos with his kids..  moving from overwhelm and snapping into playfulness, patience, and connection.

If you're trying to rebuild yourself, your confidence, your emotional stability, or your relationship, this episode will hit home.

If you wanna know more about the Healthy Men-tality Program, you can join my FREE TRAINING HERE

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

The "Nice Guy" Pattern That Pushes Love Away27 mai 202600:50:41

Most men were never taught how to stay present when emotions get big.

So when conflict happens in a relationship… they either shut down, try to fix it, disappear emotionally, or explode. Then comes the shame spiral.

"I'm failing."
"I'm broken."
"I can't do this right."

In this episode, Dave Lishansky and I unpack what's actually happening underneath those reactions,  and why so many "nice guys" are really just men stuck in nervous system survival patterns.

We talk about emotional safety, boundaries, self-abandonment, attachment dynamics, men's groups, breathwork, and why relationships eventually force us to confront the parts of ourselves we've spent years avoiding.

Inside this episode:

  • Why many men go silent during conflict

  • What emotional safety actually means

  • The hidden cost of people-pleasing and self-abandonment

  • Why slowing down changes everything during hard conversations

  • The difference between healthy masculine leadership and performance

  • Why relationships become mirrors for our unresolved wounds

  • How community and men's work help men regulate and heal

  • What happens when one partner grows… and the other refuses to

One of my favorite moments in this conversation was Dave talking about armor… how so many men walk through life emotionally armored because it never felt safe not to. And how relationships eventually ask you to put some of that armor down if you want real intimacy.

If you're a man trying to rebuild trust, regulate your emotions, communicate better, or stop repeating the same relationship cycles… this episode is for you.

This is the work we do inside the Healthy Men-tality Program:  real tools, real support, real change.  If you wanna know more, you can join my FREE TRAINING HERE

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Learn more about Dave's work here: https://www.davelishansky.com/podcast 

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

"Why Now?" Why Did It Take Losing Me for You to Change?20 mai 202600:38:56

Some women spend years trying to explain the same pain.

Different wording.
Different tone.
Different timing.

Eventually the tears stop.
The conversations get shorter.
The resentment gets quieter.
And then one day she says she's done.

That's usually when panic finally kicks in.

In this episode, Tara breaks down one of the hardest questions men face once they start healing after separation or divorce:

"Why did it take losing me for you to finally change?"

And honestly? Most men answer that question from shame instead of truth.

Because underneath the defensiveness… underneath the shutdown… underneath the "I never meant to hurt you" response… there's usually a nervous system that has spent decades learning how to survive, protect, avoid failure, avoid rejection, avoid feeling "not enough."

So when a partner brings pain to the relationship, many men don't actually hear:
"Please understand me."

They hear:
"You're failing."
"You're broken."
"You're not enough."
"You're losing her."

That's the moment survival mode takes over.

This episode gets into the real mechanics underneath relationship breakdown:
how shame blocks empathy,
why emotional safety matters more than winning the argument,
why validation is NOT the same thing as agreeing,
…. and how unresolved childhood conditioning quietly shapes adult relationships.

This episode also explains why so many couples stay stuck cycling the exact same conflict for years even while both people genuinely love each other.

Because love isn't the issue most of the time.

Dysregulation is.

Inside this episode:

  • Why defensiveness is usually a protection strategy

  • The nervous system reason couples repeat the same fights

  • Why women emotionally detach long before they physically leave

  • What men misunderstand about validation

  • How shame and low self-worth distort communication

  • Why "fixing it" often pushes your partner further away

  • The difference between emotional understanding vs emotional management

  • What repair actually sounds like in real conversations

  • Why change often doesn't happen until rock bottom

There's also a really important conversation around grief in relationships.

Not just grief after divorce.
Grief inside the relationship.

The grief of feeling unseen.
The grief of carrying the emotional load alone.
The grief of becoming a version of yourself you never wanted to be just to survive the relationship dynamic.

And if you're the partner finally waking up to your patterns after things have already fallen apart… this episode will probably help you understand why your partner's resentment feels so intense right now.

Not so you can defend yourself better.

So you can stop defending long enough to actually hear her.

If this episode hit for you and you're ready to stop repeating the same patterns, you can learn more about the Healthy Men-tality program in the links below.

It's for men who are tired of white-knuckling relationships, shutting down emotionally, reacting from survival mode, or losing themselves trying to hold everything together.

You don't need more surface-level communication tips.

You need the skills, tools, and nervous system work to actually become emotionally safe for yourself and the people you love.

If you wanna know more about the Healthy Men-tality Program, you can join my FREE TRAINING HERE

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

The Moment He Stopped Chasing Love He Couldn't Get13 mai 202600:52:29

Joey didn't walk into this expecting anything emotional.

He thought he'd get a tactic. Maybe a business insight. Something useful he could apply.

Instead, he ended up face to face with something he hadn't fully processed in years.

His mom.

She passed away when he was 23. He's 48 now.

And somewhere along the way, without really realizing it, he'd been trying to recreate that connection. In relationships. In life. In the way he showed up.

That's the part that stuck.

Not the grief itself. The pattern underneath it.

We talk about how that shows up in men more than they realize. The instinct to chase, to fix, to stay in motion instead of sitting still long enough to feel anything.

And then what happens when you actually slow down.

There's a moment in the session where he almost doesn't share what came up for him.
You can hear it—the hesitation, the internal back and forth.

He shares it anyway.

Afterwards, people come up to him. Similar stories. Same kind of loss. Same thing they've been carrying quietly.

That's kind of the thread through this whole episode.

You don't think it matters to say it out loud. It does.

We also get into:

  • why most guys were trained early on that emotions = weakness

  • how that conditioning sticks around way longer than you think

  • what it actually feels like to let something out instead of suppress it

  • and why the ability to receive—love, support, connection—is harder than it sounds

Nothing about this is complicated.

It's just unfamiliar.

And if you've been staying busy, staying distracted, staying in control… this might be one of those conversations that makes you pause for a second.

If this episode hits, you already know there's something you've been avoiding.

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

What Men Get Wrong About Being a "Good Husband"06 mai 202601:07:41

This episode is what transformation actually sounds like in real time.

Not polished.
Not filtered.
Not "I've got it all figured out."

Just honest.

Glenn came into Healthy Men-tality in the middle of a brutal divorce after a 20+ year marriage that had slowly turned into disconnection, resentment, and survival mode.

What he didn't realize at the time?

He wasn't just leaving a relationship.
He was leaving a version of himself.

Inside this conversation, we unpack:

  • How men get conditioned to tolerate unhealthy dynamics without realizing it

  • The "boiling frog" effect in long-term relationships

  • Why being the "provider" can disconnect you from your emotional life

  • The hidden cost of people-pleasing and enabling

  • The shift from chasing women → choosing peace

  • What loneliness actually feels like when chaos is removed

  • How self-awareness changes your standards permanently

And maybe the most important piece:

👉 You don't find peace in a relationship.
👉 You bring peace into one.

If you're going through a divorce, separation, or just questioning your relationship…

This episode is your mirror.

__________________________________________________________________________________

If you were nodding along the whole time… you already know where you're avoiding something.

Come on the podcast, we'll coach through it together:  http://unblockyourbs.com/podcast

__________________________________________________________________________________

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Why You're Crushing It at Work but Losing Your Relationship29 avr. 202600:15:28
You're successful… so why is your relationship falling apart?

If you feel respected, valued, and confident in your career but disconnected, criticized, or unwanted at home…

This episode will explain why.

Inside this conversation, we break down the real root of "roommate marriages", and why traditional advice doesn't work

What You'll Learn:

  • Why your brain is wired to chase achievement over connection

  • How dopamine addiction keeps you focused on work instead of your relationship

  • The hidden reason presence and emotional intimacy feel uncomfortable

  • Why you feel like you're "doing everything right"… but it's not landing

  • How your identity as a provider is quietly sabotaging connection

  • The 3 patterns men fall into when their partner pulls away:

    • Defensiveness

    • People-pleasing

    • Avoidance

  • Why trying to "fix her mood" is actually making things worse

  • What it actually means to become an emotionally safe partner

  • How to rebuild self-respect internally instead of chasing validation externally


The Truth Most Men Miss:

You're not failing because you don't care.

You're struggling because:
Your nervous system was never taught how to value what relationships require.

And until that shifts…
You'll keep winning in places that reward performance
and losing in places that require presence.

Ready to Fix This?

If this episode hits you and you want to go deeper…

Join my free training:  "From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuilding the Man"

Inside, I break down:
– Emotional safety (what it actually means)
– How to regulate your nervous system
– How to rebuild connection without losing yourself

👉 Sign up here 👈

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

She Said "I'm Done"… 3 Months Later, He Became a Different Man22 avr. 202600:33:32

She said she was done. No real explanation. Just "I'm unhappy." And everything Skippy thought was stable... wasn't.

In this episode, Tara sits down with Healthy Men-tality member Skippy to talk through what the early stages of separation actually looked like, and how he went from full panic mode to something he hadn't felt in years: clarity.

In this episode:

  • Why trying harder often makes things worse

  • The 30-day no-emotional-pressure reset and what it actually did

  • How nervous system regulation stopped the spiral

  • The childhood patterns that quietly wreck adult relationships

  • What it looks like to stop fixing her and start leading yourself

Skippy didn't save the marriage. But his kids started noticing a different man walking through the door. That's the shift.

If this episode hit close to home:

Tara runs a free 2-hour live training called From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuilding the Man, built specifically for men who are in the middle of this.
Not advice. Not blame. Just clarity on why you react the way you do under pressure, why trying harder keeps backfiring, and what actually needs to change. It's the conversation no one had with you before things got to this point.

👉 Save your spot here: REGISTER HERE

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

From the ER to Breath Work: What Unprocessed Grief Does to a Man's Body15 avr. 202601:06:59

There's a moment when everything you thought was stable… isn't.

Not slowly.
Not with warning.
Just… gone!

That's where this conversation starts.

Bill was married for 16 years.
He thought they had normal problems. Manageable ones.

Then one conversation changed everything.

His wife asked for a divorce…
and he found out she had already moved on.

In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with listener Bill as he navigates the raw, real aftermath of being blindsided.

This isn't a polished success story.

This is what healing actually looks like in real time.

 

Inside this episode, we unpack:

  • What happens when your nervous system goes into survival mode

  • Why anxiety, panic, and even physical symptoms show up after emotional shock

  • The hidden patterns most people miss in long-term relationships

  • Why trying to "win them back" often pushes them further away

  • The difference between guilt (growth) vs. shame (identity)

  • What forgiveness actually looks like in practice—not theory

  • How to stop replaying painful thoughts on repeat

  • Why emotional regulation is the foundation for everything

 

Most people aren't reacting to the event…

They're reacting to the meaning they've created around it.

And until you learn how to regulate your nervous system and shift those internal patterns… 

you'll keep reliving the same emotional experience,  just in different situations.

If this episode hit for you:

You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need a different way through it.

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Why She Sends TikToks Instead of Talking08 avr. 202600:21:42

If your partner is constantly sending you relationship content…
and your first instinct is to feel annoyed, confused, or defensive…

This episode is going to challenge that.

Because what looks like a "TikTok problem"…
is usually a communication and emotional safety problem.

Inside this solo episode, we break down what's actually happening when someone avoids direct communication, and how your response might be reinforcing the very cycle you're frustrated with.

In this episode, we cover:

  • Why sending TikToks is often a safer form of communication

  • How social media algorithms reinforce emotional patterns

  • The difference between symptoms vs. root problems in relationships

  • Why defensiveness shuts down emotional safety instantly

  • How to shift from reactivity → curiosity

  • What emotional safety actually looks like in practice

  • The role of childhood wounds in adult relationship dynamics

  • Why labeling your partner (or being labeled) keeps you stuck

  • How to take ownership without taking all the blame

This episode will help you stop pointing fingers…
and start understanding what's really going on beneath the surface.

If you're realizing you don't have the tools to navigate this… you're not broken, you were just never taught.

If you want to become the kind of man who:

  • Stays calm instead of reactive

  • Knows how to communicate without shutting down or blowing up

  • Creates emotional safety in your relationship

That's exactly what we work on inside Healthy Men-tality.

👉 You can apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen
Or DM me the word HEAL on Instagram or TikTok

No pressure, just a conversation to see what support makes sense for you.

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Men Don't Have to Get Screwed in Divorce (Here's the Playbook)01 avr. 202600:50:54

Most people don't go into marriage expecting it to end.
And when it does… they don't have a roadmap.

If you're a man facing divorce, you've probably heard the same story on repeat:

You'll lose your money.
You'll lose your kids.
The system is rigged against you.

But what if most of that is just noise?

In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with Joe Dillon, co-founder of Equitable Mediation Services, to break down what actually happens in divorce, and how to navigate it without destroying your finances, your relationship with your kids, or yourself.

Joe has spent 17+ years helping couples avoid courtroom battles and unnecessary chaos. He also lived through a highly contentious divorce as a child, which shaped the way he approaches this work today.

We get into:

  • Why divorce becomes a financial and emotional war zone
  • The biggest myths men believe (and what's actually true)
  • How mediation works—and when it doesn't
  • What you can do right now to protect your time, money, and future

And where this conversation really lands… is in how you approach the process.

Because most people are making decisions way too early,  based on eмоtion, assumptions, or incomplete information.

One of the biggest shifts Joe shares is simple: do the discovery before the deciding.
Don't agree to anything until you actually understand what you're working with.

We also unpack:

  • Why the "system is rigged" narrative isn't the full story

  • What 50/50 parenting actually looks like in real life (and where most men get it wrong)

  • What child support really is (and why it's often misunderstood)

  • How to build a parenting plan that doesn't fall apart

  • What actually damages kids during divorce… so you don't make it worse. 

Key Takeaways
  • Divorce isn't just emotional—it's a negotiation
  • Most conflict is driven by fear, control, and miscommunication
  • Child support is shared responsibility, not punishment
  • Parenting doesn't stop when it's "not your day"
  • Your kids didn't ask for this… protect them from the fallout

If this episode hit for you:

👉 Want to stop reacting and start responding?
Download my free 5-minute breathwork session

👉 Want support around relationships, emotional regulation, and rebuilding?
Join the Self Aware Army

👉 Ready for deeper work?
Apply for 1:1 coaching

About Our Guest:

Joe Dillon is the co-founder of Equitable Mediation Services, where he and his wife Cheryl (a divorce coach) help couples divorce without lawyers. Joe has an MBA in Finance and combines that financial expertise with deep personal experience—he is the child of a litigated divorce that left scars. Over the past 17 years, Joe has helped hundreds of couples avoid the courtroom nightmare and walk away with agreements that actually work. His approach is tactical, financial, and refreshingly honest. He practices in six states: Washington, California, Illinois, New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania.

 

Connect with Joe Dillon:

You can find Joe and access free resources, courses, and consultation options at Equitable Mediation Services. He is also active on social media where he shares divorce and co-parenting advice:

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

From Affairs + Escapism to Healing: Coleman's Nervous System Comeback25 mars 202600:49:51

At 25, Coleman was cheating on his wife, chronically lying, and living in constant fight-or-flight.

He didn't just lose his marriage.
He realized he didn't like who he had become.

This episode is the raw, unfiltered story of what it actually takes to change,  not through mindset hacks, but through nervous system healing.

From rock bottom…
to somatic work, subconscious reprogramming, breathwork, and rebuilding emotional integrity.

Today, Coleman helps women regulate their nervous systems,  and teaches men how to create emotional safety instead of control.

This conversation goes beyond "self-improvement."
It's about what happens when your body finally learns safety.

In This Episode, We Unpack:

  • Why trauma isn't just the event,  it's the story the body keeps telling

  • Talk therapy ("mind down") vs somatic coaching ("body up")

  • How breathwork completes the emotional processing loop

  • Why peace can feel unsafe after years of chaos

  • Co-regulation vs codependency… and what "fixing" is really about

  • What emotional safety actually means in relationships

  • How anxiety shows up in the body (and why you're not "just an anxious person")

  • Why many men resist emotional work, and what shifts that

Coleman shares the moment he looked at his life and thought:

"I don't like who I am."

That moment led him into:

  • Plant medicine

  • Somatic healing

  • Inner child work

  • Reparenting

  • Intensive breathwork practice

And ultimately….  into becoming a nervous system coach.

If This Episode Hit…

Send it to someone who:

  • Says they're "just anxious"

  • Struggles with control in relationships

  • Feels stuck in fight-or-flight

  • Wants to feel safe in their own body

About Coleman

Coleman is a holistic health and wellness coach with over 12 years of experience. His work now centers on nervous system regulation, subconscious reprogramming, and lifestyle transformation. He helps clients reconnect with their inner light and build emotional resilience from the body up.

🌐 Website: Coleheartedwellness.com
📱 TikTok: @coleheartedwellness
📷 Instagram: @colehearted_wellness

 

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

I Lost My Marriage… and Found Myself18 mars 202600:50:48

Some moments in life split your story into two chapters:
Before. And after.

For Charlie, that moment happened the night he discovered his wife was having an affair.

After 15 years together, his marriage collapsed overnight.
His nervous system spiraled.
His identity shattered.
And he found himself sitting in his car wondering how his life had fallen apart so quickly.

But that breakdown became the beginning of something unexpected.

In this episode, Charlie shares the real story behind his healing journey inside the Healthy Men-tality program, from emotional shutdown and codependency to learning how to regulate his nervous system, rebuild his self-worth, and show up as a safer father and partner.

What started as survival turned into transformation.

Today?

He's rebuilding his life, reconnecting with himself, strengthening his relationship with his kids, and discovering what it actually means to feel confident, calm, and emotionally safe.

Not because his life became perfect.

But because he changed how he shows up inside it.

In this episode we explore:

  • Why men often suppress emotions until everything explodes
  • The nervous system spiral that happens after betrayal
  • The codependency patterns that quietly destroy relationships
  • How childhood wounds shape adult relationships
  • The breathwork experience that completely shifted his healing
  • Learning to observe thoughts instead of being controlled by them
  • Setting boundaries with parents for the first time
  • Becoming a safer parent for his kids during divorce
  • Rebuilding identity after a relationship ends
  • What happens when a man learns emotional regulation

Charlie didn't just learn how to survive divorce.

He learned how to trust himself again.

And that changed everything.

If you're a man navigating heartbreak, divorce, or feeling stuck in survival mode…

You don't have to figure it out alone.

The Healthy Men-tality Program teaches men how to:

  • Regulate their nervous system
  • Lead themselves emotionally
  • Build relationships rooted in emotional safety
  • Break patterns that sabotage connection

Apply or learn more here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Rebuilding Trust With Yourself After Cheating, Divorce, or Betrayal11 mars 202600:58:00

Heartbreak has a way of exposing patterns we didn't even realize we were living inside of.

In this episode, Tara sits down with heartbreak and relationship coach Erica Wright to unpack the deeper dynamics that show up in relationships, especially after betrayal, divorce, or emotional disconnection. The conversation explores how codependency develops, why people often ignore their intuition in relationships, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust with yourself after a painful breakup.

Erica shares how she helps clients heal using parts work and inner child work, explaining how the different "parts" of our psyche, like the people pleaser, the protector, or the abandoned child can drive our behaviors in relationships without us realizing it.

Together, Tara and Erica explore the connection between nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and self-awareness, and why many relationship struggles aren't really about the surface-level conflict at all.

They also dive into one of the most misunderstood concepts in relationships today: emotional safety… what it actually means, why so many men misunderstand it, and how learning to stay present with emotions (rather than fixing them) can completely change the dynamic between partners.

If you've ever struggled with codependency, ignored your gut feeling in a relationship, or wondered how to trust again after betrayal, this conversation offers practical insight into how healing actually happens.

In This Episode

  • Why codependency often looks like "being supportive" or "loving deeply"

  • How parts work (Internal Family Systems) helps people understand their emotional patterns

  • The role of inner child work in healing anxious attachment and people-pleasing

  • Why betrayal and cheating can create trauma to your sense of reality

  • How rebuilding trust after heartbreak starts with trusting yourself again

  • Practical ways to understand what your body is communicating through emotions

  • What women mean when they say they want emotional safety in a relationship

  • Why trying to "fix" your partner's emotions often makes things worse

  • How curiosity and presence can transform difficult relationship conversations

About Erica Wright

Erica Wright is a relationship and heartbreak coach who supports people navigating breakups, divorce, and emotional healing after relationship loss. Her work integrates parts work, subconscious reprogramming, inner child work, and nervous system regulation to help clients rebuild self-trust and create healthier relationships moving forward.

You can find Erica on TikTok and Instagram:
@thewright_erica

Listen + subscribe:
If this hit you, subscribe and leave a review — it helps more people find the work.

Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit here: https://unblockyourbs.com/toolkit
Use the couple code PODCAST to get 20% discount

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Navigating Post-Divorce Grief04 mars 202600:23:37

Divorce is messy. It's grief. It's a relief. It's rage. It's freedom.
Sometimes all in the same week.

In this solo episode, I break down what really happens after divorce, especially for the men I work with inside Healthy Men-tality. The bitterness. The bargaining. The shame spiral. The temptation to jump into something new just to avoid being alone.

And here's the bold truth:
Dating while you're still legally or emotionally tied to someone else often isn't healing… it's avoidance.

We talk about:

  • The 5 stages of grief in divorce (even when you initiated it)

  • Why second marriages have higher divorce rates

  • The nervous system rush of "new love"

  • Shame as a childhood motivator…  and how it follows men into adulthood

  • Why being alone isn't proof you're unlovable

  • How your partner reflects your self-worth

  • Standards vs. protection

  • The difference between choosing singleness and hiding in it

This episode is about reclaiming yourself,  not rushing to replace what you lost.

If you're navigating separation, divorce, or life after a long-term relationship, this one's for you.

If you're ready to rebuild as a grounded, regulated, self-aware man, DM me HEAL and let's talk about Healthy Men-tality.

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Reigniting Desire: From Roommate Marriage to Real Intimacy with Dan Purcell25 févr. 202600:38:37

You're good teammates.
Good parents.

But behind closed doors?
Something's missing.

The spark.
The fire.
The "I can't wait to touch you" energy.

Most couples don't talk about sex or nobody knows how to actually talk about it.

In this episode, I sit down with sex and intimacy coach Dan Purcell to talk about what's really underneath the roommate marriage phase  and why trying to "get more sex" is often the exact thing killing desire.

We unpack:

  • Why desire discrepancy is so common (and what it actually means)

  • The "sweatpants phase" and how polarity shifts over time

  • How covert contracts and duty-based sex quietly destroy intimacy

  • Why trying to control or convince your partner backfires

  • How men can express sexual desire without entitlement or blame

  • The real role nervous system regulation plays in attraction

  • Why emotional safety is the foundation of sexual chemistry

  • Practical, playful ways to bring novelty back into your relationship

The truth?

You don't improve your sex life by controlling your partner.

You improve it by regulating yourself.

When emotional safety increases, desire often follows.

When nervous systems calm down, intimacy has room to breathe.

And when conversations shift from entitlement to vulnerability, connection deepens.

If  you've been feeling rejected, frustrated, or confused about why intimacy feels harder than it used to, this episode will give you clarity and next steps.

Learn more about Dan Purcell:

Website: ⁠www.getyourmarriageon.com⁠
Podcast: Get Your Marriage On
App: Intimately Us (Available on Apple & Google Play)

Have a story to share on your own healing journey or insights on self-awareness?

We'd love to have you as our guest, reach us at ⁠unblockyourbs.com/podcast⁠ ⁠

Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/healthymen⁠ 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

She Cheated. Here's What I Did Instead of Exploding20 févr. 202600:37:34

Two D' Days. 

That's what Clayton calls them.

The day he discovered the sexual affair.
And the day he found out it wasn't the only one.

She cheated.
Twice.

When he found out about the affairs, his reality shattered.
He stopped functioning.
Sat on the couch.
Scrolled TikTok for answers.

Six months later?

His marriage is still rocky.

But he's calm.
Clear.
Grounded.
And not afraid anymore.

In this episode, Clayton shares what happened after joining Healthy Men-tality and how nervous system regulation changed everything,  not by saving his marriage overnight, but by rebuilding him.

We unpack:

  • What betrayal actually does to a man's nervous system

  • Why breathwork felt "sketchy" (until it rocked his world)

  • The physical experience of emotional release (yes… including the T-Rex arms)

  • Killing the people pleaser without becoming an asshole

  • Emotional detachment vs. emotional shutdown

  • Setting boundaries when trust is gone

  • The moment divorce stopped scaring him

  • How showing up for himself made him a better father

Clayton shares what it looked like to:

  • Stop performing for love

  • Stop negotiating self-respect

  • Stop trying to control someone else's choices

  • Draw a line in the sand

  • Show up as a father with presence and clarity

He says something powerful in this episode:

"The old me is dead."

And what replaced him?

A man who can sit in sadness without collapsing.
A man who doesn't fear divorce.
A man who doesn't chase breadcrumbs.
A man who can say:
"I'm not abandoning myself anymore."

If you're in a relationship that's falling apart…
If you're trying to earn love through performance…
If you feel shattered, dysregulated, stuck…

This episode will hit.

If you resonated with Clayton's story, I'm hosting a free 60-minute live training:

From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuilding the Man

We'll break down:

  • Why you shut down, blow up, or chase

  • How survival mode sabotages connection

  • The 3-step Regulate. Lead. Connect. framework

  • What it actually means to become emotionally safe

There are only 3 live class times and I cap attendance so I can answer questions.

👉 Save your seat at: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/rebuild⁠

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/saa⁠

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/healthymen⁠

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You Changed. She's Still Mad.18 févr. 202600:28:52

You finally decided to do the work.

You're learning about nervous system regulation.

You're reflecting on your patterns.

You're trying to show up differently.

And instead of relief…

She says:

"Why now?"

"I've been asking for this for years."

In this episode, Tara breaks down:

  • Why resentment often shows up when growth begins

  • What emotional shutdown in women actually means

  • Why your healing doesn't automatically repair years of micro-betrayals

  • How to develop emotional range instead of emotional volatility

  • What emotional safety actually means (beyond the buzzword)

  • Why empathy isn't weakness — it's leadership

If you're navigating a separation, divorce, or relationship breakdown… If she feels emotionally out of reach… If you freeze, shut down, over-explain, or get defensive in conflict…

This episode will challenge you — and give you a path forward.

Want to go deeper?

Register for the free training: 

From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuilding the Man

👉 ⁠unblockyourbs.com/rebuild⁠

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/saa⁠

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/healthymen⁠

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Why Defensiveness Is Wrecking Your Relationship (And What It's Really Protecting)11 févr. 202600:18:52

If every conversation with your partner feels like an attack…

If feedback turns into defensiveness, shutdowns, or arguments…

If you keep asking yourself, "Why does this keep happening?"

This episode is for you.

In today's conversation, I break down why defensiveness isn't confidence or self-advocacy… it's a nervous system response rooted in shame and early childhood wiring.

We're unpacking:

  • Why your body reacts before your logic ever shows up

  • How defensiveness protects an identity wound,  not your relationship

  • The difference between guilt ("I did something wrong") and shame ("I am wrong")

  • Why high-achieving men feel regulated at work but unravel at home

  • How childhood beliefs quietly drive adult relationship conflict

  • What actually changes when you heal self-worth instead of chasing validation

This isn't about blaming your partner.It's about understanding what's happening inside you, and learning how to interrupt the cycle so you can show up steady, grounded, and emotionally safe.

If you're ready to stop surviving your relationship and start rebuilding from the inside out, I'm inviting you to my free training:

👉 From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuild

A one-hour class on nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and rebuilding connection without shame or self-abandonment.

Register here: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/rebuild⁠

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/saa⁠

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/healthymen⁠

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

What does emotional safety really mean?05 févr. 202600:34:39

When life punches you in the throat (flu, ice storm, a branch through your roof at 5am… you know, casual "unprecedented times" stuff), you learn real fast what "emotional safety" actually means.

And here's the thing: emotional safety has become a buzzword. A lot of women use it. A lot of men hear it and instantly translate it as physical safety.

"I've never hit her."
"I don't scream."
"I would never hurt her."

Cool… but that's not the conversation your partner is trying to have.

In this episode, I'm breaking down what an emotionally safe partner is NOT—because most relationships aren't falling apart from one big dramatic event. They're dying from the daily patterns: defensiveness, fixing, shutting down, walking on eggshells, and two nervous systems treating each other like threats.

Spoiler alert: You can't create emotional safety with someone if you don't know how to be emotionally safe within yourself.

In this episode, we get into:

  • Why "I never get upset" isn't emotional safety - it's usually repression

  • The difference between uncomfortable vs unsafe (and why this wrecks communication)

  • Why walking on eggshells is a relationship death sentence

  • The Fixer/Rescuer trap: how "solving it" is often you avoiding your own discomfort

  • Why the real root problems aren't the dishwasher, the tone, or the text message

  • How trauma (big T and little t) gets stuck in the body and drives your reactions

  • Why therapy-speak doesn't equal healing (and why your partner can feel the difference)

  • The skill that changes everything: curiosity > defensiveness

Next week, registration opens for my biggest free training yet:
"From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuild"  We're going deep on nervous system regulation, relationship patterns, and what it actually takes to become an emotionally safe partner.

If you're not on my email list, you might miss the registration link so download this free 5 minute Breathwork gift and it'll get you on my email list and give you a daily reset tool to practice: www.unblockyourbs.com/5minutebreathwork

  • Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

  • Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

"I Only Feel Anger and Barely Joy" When a Man Goes Numb21 janv. 202601:00:56

Wayne is separated from his wife of 30 years and after starting therapy, he's realizing something that hits a lot of men like a truck:

He spent decades hiding emotions to keep the peace… until his body couldn't do it anymore.

In this coaching episode, we talk about emotional shutdown, suppressed rage, and why Wayne mostly feels anger and barely joy with almost nothing in between.

We break down what "freeze + fight" looks like in real life, why emotions feel scary when you've been trained to suppress them, and the practical tools that help you find the gap between trigger and reaction (so you don't explode… or disappear).

In this episode, we cover:

  • Why emotional numbness isn't "cold"...it's survival

  • The difference between fight vs freeze (and how men get stuck in both)

  • A simple body-scan + breathing tool that takes 10 seconds

  • How to widen the "gap" in the heat of conflict

  • Why your self-image can't be built on achievements

  • The "boiling pot with the lid on" metaphor (and why breathwork works to turn off the heat)

  • How to stop outsourcing validation and start meeting your own needs

Want support?

If you're a man navigating separation/divorce, emotional shutdown, rage, or relationship patterns you're ready to change, you can learn more about Healthy Men-tality and even apply for the program here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

And if you ever want to be coached on the podcast, you can apply at unblockyourbs.com/podcast

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Divorce Papers on the Counter: A Fearful Avoidant's Wake-Up Call14 janv. 202601:11:28

He came home from an AA meeting. The kids were gone. His wife was gone. Divorce papers were sitting on the counter.

And that was just the beginning.

In today's coaching episode, I'm talking with Onus bout what happens when:

  • your nervous system lives on high alert,

  • being misunderstood feels like a threat,

  • anger shows up before vulnerability,

  • and your relationships become a constant attempt to "earn" love… instead of receive it.

We get into disorganized / fearful-avoidant attachment, ADHD rage, the difference between uncomfortable vs unsafe, and why co-parenting trust can't be rebuilt on vague mind-reading rules.

If you've ever thought:
"Why do I get so defensive?"
"Why don't I trust good things?"
"Why does being alone feel unbearable?"
…this one is for you.

In this episode, we cover:

  • Why "ethical non-monogamy" often becomes outsourced connection when there aren't real boundaries

  • The real fear under defensiveness: "If I'm alone, I don't matter"

  • Why yelling can feel normal to one person and unsafe to another (and what to do with that)

  • A simple co-regulation tool to use mid-conflict

  • The question that changes co-parenting dynamics: "What's the roadmap back to trust?"

  • Why shame keeps you stuck and what accountability actually looks like

Your next step (if you want support):
If you're a man trying to rebuild your emotional stability, relationships, and self-respect after divorce or heartbreak, my program Healthy Men-tality was built for this.

Learn more + apply: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

And if you're not ready for that yet, start with one small thing today like downloading my free 5minute daily breathwork practice to take the edge off the intensity of your stress, anxiety, anger or fear… www.unblockyourbs.com/5minbreathwork

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

If She's "Always Mad," You're Missing the Point (And Making It Worse)17 déc. 202500:34:06

When your partner is "mad," most people react like anger is the problem. It's not. Anger is usually protection and what's underneath it is what actually needs care, leadership, and emotional intelligence.

In this episode, I'm going to break down what happens when men outsource emotional labor to women, why women's hormones can amplify stress without either partner realizing what's happening, and how relationships slowly lose intentionality until everything becomes reactive.

I'm also going to share the five common mistakes that keep couples stuck in the same cycle ESPECIALLY after kids, stress, and burnout enter the picture.

In this episode, I cover:

  • Why anger is a protective emotion (and what's usually underneath it)

  • How men's default "anger strategies" (shutdown, defensiveness, blow-ups) block connection

  • What it looks like to outsource emotional labor to your partner (reassurance, hypervigilance, avoiding hard conversations)

  • A practical view of women's hormones and why "she woke up anxious/mad" isn't always about you

  • Why couples get trapped in "who does more" wars instead of co-creating a shared vision

  • Accountability vs. apologizing: why "I'm sorry" without identity-level change is lip service

  • The praise problem: why wanting validation for small tasks often means you don't validate yourself

  • Why boundaries feel "controlling" to people who avoid conflict and what happens to your body when you repress emotions

  • How emotional safety is built (and why intimacy often disappears when safety disappears)

If you're realizing you've been reactive, avoidant, or stuck in the same cycle and you want actual tools for emotional regulation, conflict, boundaries, and relational leadership check out the Healthy Men-tality program - a 12-week training + coaching container that teaches men nervous system regulation, childhood wiring, codependency healing, leadership in relationships, and practical emotional tools that change how you show up. Learn more and apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

From Human Doing to Human Being: Healing the "I'm Not Enough" BS Belief10 déc. 202501:10:06

You can know all the nervous system language, do the breathwork, read the books, got therapy… and still find yourself lying awake at 3 a.m. replaying every conversation with your partner (past or present), wondering why you STILL feel like a failure.

In today's episode, I coach Autumn - a recently divorced listener to the pod - through the question that's been running her entire life since childhood… "Am I enough?"

What You'll Hear in This Episode:

  • How fear of failure and "am I enough?" get tangled together and bleed into every area of your life.

  • What functional freeze actually looks like in real life (spoiler: you can still go to work, pay bills, and be completely shut down).

  • Why your brain loops at night and how to work with your body instead of fighting it when you can't sleep.

  • The moment Autumn realizes she's still competing with her younger brother's "golden child" status and how that old comparison is driving her money, success, and relationship stress.

  • The difference between being a human doing and a human being, and why rest feels so unsafe when your worth has always been tied to performance.

  • How childhood people-pleasing patterns shows up as over-functioning in adult relationships.

  • A simple way to notice whether you're acting from self-abandonment or self-respect in how you're showing up in relationships.

If you've ever sat in bed thinking, "I've done so much healing work - why am I still triggered by this?", this episode will help you see that you're not broken. Your nervous system is just running the only pattern it's ever known - staying safe by believing you're never enough.

Once you can see that familiar pattern, you can start choosing something different to shift out of toxic patterns and cycles!

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

How to Survive the Holidays During or After Divorce26 nov. 202500:23:26

When you're going through a separation or divorce, the holiday season doesn't feel magical…

it feels like a spotlight on everything that's changed.

Waking up in a quiet house… splitting time with your kids for the first time… trying to act "fine" while everyone around you is celebrating,  it can make even the strongest men feel cracked open.

In this episode, I share what no one prepares you for during the first (or third) holiday season when your family dynamic looks different than you ever imagined and how to survive it without collapsing into shame, isolation, or panic.

More importantly, we talk about how to stop resisting what is so you can start creating a holiday experience that doesn't make you dread December every year.

Episode highlights include:

  • Why loneliness hits harder when you're already grieving the life you thought you'd have

  • The difference between pain and suffering (and why one is optional)

  • How to make this season suck less without forcing joy or pretending you're okay

  • Creative ways to redefine holidays when you're without your kids

  • What to do when family expectations make everything worse

  • How to stop seeing being alone as evidence that you're unlovable

  • The mindset shift that turns holidays from something you endure into something you can shape

If this season feels heavy, this episode will help you take back choice, control, and dignity even when nothing looks the way you wanted it to.

🎁 Holiday Gift for Our Listeners - The Gift of a Regulated Nervous System

AND AS MY GIFT TO OUR PODCAST LISTENERS  IN NAVIGATING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON TO SUCK LESS - come learn to regulate your nervous system with Somatic Breathwork inside of my Breathwork Community called The Self Aware Army for only $1 for your first month in the program (then $39/month thereafter - cancel anytime). 

To Learn More about the Self Aware Army and to Get started today for Only $1 www.unblockyourbs.com/blackfriday 

You'll get:

  • Live monthly somatic breathwork sessions

  • On-demand 24/7 breathwork library

  • Coaching support

  • A community that gets it and is healing together

If there was ever a time to have tools instead of just trying to "get through it," it's right now.

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

From Saving the Marriage to Saving Himself: Brian's Shift from Fixing to Leading19 nov. 202501:21:28

When Brian joined Healthy Men-tality, his marriage was on life support. He was desperate to fix the cracks that had formed after trust was broken but what he discovered was that the real repair had to start within himself.

In this raw, powerful conversation, Brian shares how learning nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and inner healing shifted him from people-pleasing and fear of abandonment to grounded self-leadership.

You'll hear:

  • What happens when men stop fixing and start feeling

  • The cycle of rejection and resentment that kills connection

  • How breathwork became a bridge back to emotional safety

  • Why learning to be present changed his family's dynamic

  • What rebuilding trust really looks like… with yourself and your partner

If your marriage feels impossible, this episode is living proof that healing is possible but it starts with you.

👉 Learn more about the Healthy Men-tality program and apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

The "Not Good Enough" Trap: Jim's 40-Year Cycle of Self-Abandonment (and How to Break It)12 nov. 202500:53:41

Men: if you're exhausted trying to "be enough" and fix everything at home, this episode shows how to stop self-abandoning, regulate, and lead yourself so connection actually grows (instead of resentment).

In this coaching episode, we unpack the real reason many men feel "not good enough" and why trying to manage your partner's emotions keeps you stuck. You'll learn how codependency forms, why her mood can't define your worth, and the simple, uncomfortable actions that build emotional safety: stop fixing, own your lane, and make choices you're proud of (even if you're scared).

What You'll learn:
• What codependency looks like in men (plain English)
• Why "happy wife, happy life" backfires and what to do instead
• Emotional safety basics: predictability, regulation, curiosity over control
• How to rebuild connection with your kids (why calls beat texts)
• A 30-day check-in rhythm for couples to get out of survival mode

If this hit home and you want support to rebuild your identity, calm your nervous system, and lead with clarity, apply for Healthy Men-tality. There's no commitment to join by applying - it just lets us hop on a quick Zoom to figure out what support makes sense for you right now and if this 12 week coaching program is the next right step if you're a man experiencing the same struggles our guest Jim is experiencing: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

From "Man Up" to Showing Up: Former Pro Athlete on Healing, Emotional Safety & Real Connection05 nov. 202501:02:26

If you've ever been praised at work and lost at home, you're not alone. My good friend and guest on today's episode is Paul Coleman, who thought "providing" was enough for his family… until conflicts, distance, and a daughter's simple note exposed the truth: true connection with loved ones was a skill and he was lacking in it.

Paul is a former professional athlete and top 1% California real estate agent, husband, and father to four. Over two years, he has rebuilt his inner world - finally facing childhood wounds he swore he had dealt with already, learning emotional safety for himself and how to create that for others, and choosing presence over performance. In this episode, he shares the exact steps that changed how he shows up for his family differently, because what he believed was "showing up" wasn't working.

You'll Hear

  • Why "man up" works- until it absolutely doesn't

  • The household red flags that launched his healing journey

  • The book that unlocked his reactivity as a father and partner ("Parenting from the Inside Out")

  • How reframing his origin story (and writing to his estranged father) melted decades of anger

  • Emotional safety 101: presence, regulation, and not mirroring your partner's  mood

  • The 6-year-old's note that reoriented his entire approach to love

  • How to stop fixing and start holding (and why it changes everything)

  • Building brotherhood: why men's groups accelerate growth

  • Practical boundaries when hormones, stress, and history collide

Walk away with a clear picture of what emotional safety looks like in practice from a man's perspective, how to become the grounded "rock" your partner and kids can lean on, and why presence… NOT performance creates lasting connection.

And men listening - if you're feeling called out (in the best way) - Learn more and Apply for my men's coaching program: Healthy Men-tality

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Wife or Bust: Dating With Integrity, Courage & Clarity (feat. Chris Bates & Joel Cochran)29 oct. 202501:07:12

Modern dating is a minefield of mixed signals, ghosting, and people saying they want "real connection" while avoiding the real work it takes to build one. But what if the chaos wasn't a punishment - what if it's a mirror?

In this episode, two men pull back the curtain on how to date with radical transparency and integrity in a world full of band-aids and quick fixes.

Chris Bates, Dating Coach for Men and author of The Dating Edge, and Joel Cochran, mindset and business coach and co-creator of Wife or Bust, are on a mission to help men turn modern dating into a springboard for personal development. They talk about how childhood wounds shape attraction, why most people use dating apps like slot machines instead of filters, and what it actually means to lead with character and clarity in love.

You'll Hear:

  • How to turn the mess of modern dating into a personal development game.

  • The mindset shift that makes dating less about "finding her" and more about becoming him.

  • Joel's simple rule that instantly lowers defensiveness and builds connection: "Questions pull. Statements press."

  • Why men hear feedback better from other men - and how to build your own brotherhood.

  • What "dating with integrity" really means (and why you should always close the loop instead of ghosting).

  • Chris's "four legs of the stool" and how to build a solid life foundation before inviting a woman in.

  • Hinge vs Bumble: why your profile isn't a highlight reel -  it's a landing page for the right woman.

If you're a man re-entering the dating world post-divorce or just tired of surface-level connections, this conversation shows you how to approach dating as a mirror for growth — to heal old patterns, lead with honesty, and build connection through curiosity instead of control.

Links & Resources

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Retired Army Colonel Hit Rock Bottom with Alcohol and is Now an Advocate for Healing and Feeling?22 oct. 202501:03:14

Jack is a 24-year Army combat veteran who retired into a quiet house and a loud nervous system. Without the mission and tribe, drinking became the go-to "solution." In this honest conversation, Jack shares how rock bottom in a VA emergency room cracked him open, how default coping mechanisms kept him stuck, and how Healthy Men-tality gave him the structure, community, and tools to regulate, take ownership, and rebuild his identity.

You'll hear about:

  • The invisible crash after retirement: losing tribe, purpose, and identity

  • Why anger "worked" in the military and failed at home

  • Drinking as nervous-system management (effective short-term, destructive long-term)

  • The moment of truth in the ER: admitting powerlessness and receiving help

  • Therapy vs. coaching: connecting dots vs. changing behavior

  • Breathwork, body-based regulation, and learning to be present

  • Codependency, people-pleasing, and replacing shame with responsibility
    Building a new identity: emotionally attuned, regulated, and proud

If Jack's story hit a nerve and you're ready to finally let go of the burden you've been carrying and managing (poorly) alone, apply to Healthy Men-tality. Get the knowledge, the brotherhood, and the mastery of taking control back of your life: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen 

 

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Beyond "Just Breathing" | How Facilitated Breathwork Rewires Your Life (Feat. Jana McKinney)15 oct. 202500:46:59

Today I'm joined by Jana McKinney, CEO & Founder of Get Living Breathwork, to unpack why facilitated breathwork can shift you faster and deeper than years of white-knuckling or logic-only therapy. We get into the physiology (vagus nerve, diaphragmatic breathing, nitric oxide), the three layers of breathwork (awareness, daily regulation, journey work), and how journey-style sessions surface and release stored survival energy so you stop repeating the same emotional cycles.

We also talk skeptics, safety, and how breathwork + therapy together becomes rocket fuel for growth. If you've ever wondered whether breathwork is "just woo," this one bridges science and lived results—beautifully.

What You'll Learn

  • Why belly/diaphragmatic breathing instantly tones the vagus nerve

  • How "over-breathing" keeps you anxious and the 5 breaths/min fix

  • The 3 types of breathwork: awareness, daily protocols (e.g., box breathing), and journeys

  • What happens in a journey: stress → parasympathetic rebound, endogenous DMT release, memory reconsolidation, and somatic discharge

  • Why gentle vs. intense protocols unlock different layers of healing

  • How co-regulation & mirror neurons ripple healing through families

  • A practical frame to combine therapy + breathwork for faster change

Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join Coach Tara's healing community to do a breathwork session today + learn more nervous system healing tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

Men on a Healing Journey - Ready to regulate, lead, and stop repeating patterns: Join Healthy Men-tality Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

 

Connect with Jana:

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Divorced. Numb. Lost. Here's What Changed for Kyle After Joining Healthy Men-tality08 oct. 202500:40:20

Kyle's story is proof that you don't have to stay stuck in the pain of divorce, disconnection, or old patterns.

In this episode, Kyle,  one of the men currently inside Healthy Men-tality my 12-week coaching program just for men - shares his journey of hitting rock bottom after a blindsiding divorce, how he almost drowned in alcohol and isolation, and why he finally chose to get support.

Inside the episode Kyle share how this program has helped him:

  • Release decades of bottled-up emotions through breathwork.

  • Find brotherhood and safety in a group of men all doing the work.

  • Start communicating differently in dating and relationships — no longer trying to fix everything or fawn for approval.

  • Learn to regulate his nervous system instead of spiraling.

  • And even noticed his golf game improve because he's no longer beating himself up hole after hole.

This is what happens when men commit to healing.

👉 If Kyle's story resonates with you, apply now for the next round of Healthy Men-tality at www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen.

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

I Spent $7,000 on a Matchmaking Service (Here's What Happened)01 oct. 202500:31:55

When we're lonely, it's easy to throw money, time, and hope into quick fixes for love. Matchmaking services promise "high-quality partners" but are they really delivering?

I dropped $7,000 on a service that matched me with men who were… let's just say, not exactly husband material. From shocking disclosures to ghosting to inappropriate texts on Christmas, I quickly realized I'd paid a premium for more disappointment than the free dating apps.

In this episode, I (embarrassingly) share my real story of hiring a matchmaker - the good, the bad, and the straight-up bizarre - so you can learn from my mistakes (and save yourself the expensive learning lessons). More importantly, I unpack what desperation does to our decision-making, and why self-work and nervous system regulation are a far better investment than outsourcing love. 

Episode highlights include:

  • The truth about what matchmaking services actually offer

  • The red flags I ignored because I wanted love so badly

  • Why compatibility > chemistry > desperation every single time

  • How to date without settling or self-abandoning

If you've ever felt the pull to settle or rush love, this episode will help you pause and reset.

✨ For women: Join the Self Aware Army for breathwork + coaching → unblockyourbs.com/saa
 ✨ For men: Apply to Healthy Men-tality → unblockyourbs.com/healthy-men or DM me HEAL on Tik Tok or Instagram

 

Connect with Tara:

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

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