We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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How To Audit Your Mental Load with Prof. Leah Ruppanner
Season 8 · Episode 40
Sunday, October 25, 2026 • Duration 01:08:21
It’s time we talked about the mental load. Again.
💌 To join our journaling club, with 9,900+ others, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
Consider this a companion episode to our infamous, most shared episode of 2023, The Elephant in the Relationship where Hugh and Penny introduced us to their mental load, and how they were trying to make it more equal in their relationship.
Today we’re sprinkling in some expertise and scientific data, as we’re joined by Professor Leah Ruppanner who explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh that there’s actually 8 different types of mental load, and not all of them are draining.
Bringing examples from their own lives, Hugh, Ryan and Josh discuss with Leah why the mental load can seem like an insurmountable amount of emotional thinking, and how partners can better communicate to reduce anxiety-like symptoms and burnout.
We chat to Leah about the exacerbation of the mental load when chronic illness becomes part of the equation, and how to manage the mental load when there is no one to share it with.
Chapters
00:00:00 – TRAILER
00:02:02 – The Mental Load is life changing for relationships
00:03:11 – Mental Load definition: emotional thinking work
00:05:41 – 3 characteristics of the mental load
00:08:00 – Mental Load vs Burnout: Treat Your Energy Like a Budget
00:14:19 – The Elephant in Hugh & Penny’s Relationship
00:16:50 – Type 1: Life Organisation
00:17:20 – Type 2: Emotional Support
00:18:00 – Type 3: Relationship Hygiene
00:19:03 – Type 4: Dream Building
00:20:26 – Type 5: Magic Making
00:25:00 – Type 6: Individual Upkeep
00:27:30 – Type 7: Safety
00:28:00 – Type 8: Meta Care (Doom Scrolling and the Mental Load)
00:29:56 – How to do a mental load audit with your partner
00:34:09 – Align your energy with your goals
00:36:25 – Delegating tasks vs sharing the mental load
00:38:24 – Shift work vs running the business
00:40:30 – Birthday presents and the perfect mother myth
00:41:30 – Mess: do men really not see it?
00:44:50 – Why women feel judged
00:48:41 – “Good enough is good enough”
00:54:13 – Mental load in same sex couples
00:57:07 – Why perspective + empathy matters
00:58:13 – Mental load when you’re single, or your partner won’t engage
00:59:02 – What a cancer diagnosis does for priorities
01:05:45 – A Little More Imperfects: Mental Load at Work
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Hugh & Penny - The Elephant in the Relationship - https://bit.ly/4zNi0C4
📚Things to read
Drained, by Leah Ruppanner (this one has the audit in it) - https://bit.ly/47RUyI5
Motherlands, by Lead Ruppanner - https://bit.ly/3WjSCW0
Men do see the mess, study by Leah Ruppanner et al. - https://bit.ly/4dTCaSq
Cognitive + Emotional Labour, research by Leah Ruppanner et al. - https://bit.ly/4eN3HFo
📺 Things to watch
Inside Out - https://bit.ly/4yx5mG4
🂱 Things to do
Fair Play Cards - https://bit.ly/3UFeWZK
💝 Breast Cancer Support
Breast Cancer Network Australia - https://bit.ly/4igX8fj
McGrath Foundation - 1800 183 338
Think Pink Foundation - https://www.thinkpink.org.au
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
“MND Took Everything” Matt Nable on Grief, Depression & What Really Matters
Season 8 · Episode 36
Sunday, October 18, 2026 • Duration 01:10:00
In the end, Matt Nable wished his brother would give in.
Motor neurone disease had taken everything, except his brother’s will to live.
💌 To join our journaling club, with 9,000+ others, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
Joining us in the studio today is writer, actor, boxer, and former rugby league player, Matt Nable.
Recognisable for playing infamous tough guys on screen (Arrow, Underbelly, The Dry), Matt’s experience of loss and mental ill health has starkly redefined what he believes it is to ‘be a man’.
Using the analogy of a ‘double edged sword’, Matt explains his experience with bipolar and hypomania, and how those periods have lead to the best, and worst, decisions of his life.
Matt is incredibly generous in sharing his experience of biological melancholia depression, and explores with Josh just how quickly everything can seem to unravel.
Matt speaks about the immense grief he carries for his brother who passed away MND, and how he was able to move through this grief to find purpose and compassion.
*Content Warning: today's episode includes a discussion about psilocybin. In Australia, psilocybin is a controlled substance. Outside of authorised clinical settings, its use, possession and supply are illegal. This episode is not medical advice, and we're not encouraging or endorsing illegal drug use. Psilocybin can carry serious risks, particularly when taken without professional screening and supervision. Our guest's experience is their own and won't be typical of everyone's. This episode also mentions suicide. If you're struggling with grief or your mental health, please speak with your GP or a mental health professional.
🚨If you, or someone you know, are experiencing suicidal thoughts call lifeline on 13 11 14. In an emergency, call 000.
Chapters
00:00:00 – TRAILER
00:02:48 – Childhood shapes who we are
00:03:40 – What does it really mean to be tough?
00:07:38 – Why Matt doesn’t think he is a tough man
00:09:21 – Redefining Masculinity, and Rejecting the Manosphere
00:12:00 – Letting Go of Ego
00:13:34 – Losing his brother to MND
00:20:40 – A Psilocybin Retreat for Grief: Matt’s Experience
00:23:08 – Meeting his younger self
00:24:09 – Reaching Acceptance
00:28:34 – Figuring out what really matters
00:35:12 – A brother’s love: Hugh & Josh reflect
00:38:55 – Finding humour in grief
00:40:34 – A Parent’s Grief vs a Sibling’s Grief
00:41:30 – The Meaning of Matt’s Tattoos
00:42:10 – Bipolar II + Melancholic Depression Diagnosis
00:43:46 – Hypomania: The Double-Edged Sword
00:46:52 – Matt’s rise to fame
00:51:10 – Bipolar vs Depression: The Crash, Exhaustion + Regret
00:52:34 – Sitting with someone in the dark
00:54:08 – The Quicksand of Men’s Mental Health
00:56:02 – Standing on the Edge: Josh’s Story
00:58:01 – Finding Joy in the Small Moments
01:01:29 – Writing as an Anchor Point
01:07:29 – Why men need to be vulnerable
01:07:59 – Journaling Club “How would you like to be remembered?”
Some other great resources are below
Black Dog Institute - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au
Beyond Blue - https://www.beyondblue.org.au
📚Things to read
Mire, by Matt Nable - https://bit.ly/4hYglT0
Other books by Matt Nable - https://bit.ly/4dI1uut
📺 Things to watch
The Final Winter - https://bit.ly/4s3EYSC
Things to donate to
Fight MND - https://fightmnd.org.au
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
Trailer footage sourced from Mr Inbetween.
Zoë Foster Blake - Perimenopause, ADHD & Everything That Helped with Dr Fatima Khan
Season 8 · Episode 38
Sunday, October 11, 2026 • Duration 01:30:09
This is not your mother’s perimenopause.
💌 To join our journaling club, subscribe to my imperfect email - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
Joined by guest host Zoë Foster Blake, and Dr Fatima Khan, we’re diving head first into perimenopause: the what, the why, and the how-the-f**k to deal with it.
Typically beginning in your late 30’s, and in your brain of all places, perimenopause symptoms include heightened anxiety, irritability, sleep disturbances, brain fog … all things that make you feel further and further away from your best self.
Beginning 5 -7 years BEFORE your last menstrual period, perimenopause can coincide with postpartum, the most important presentation of your career to date, and the uncovering of neurodivergence, which may have been painstakingly masked until this shift in hormones.
With the expertise of Dr Fatima, and the lived experience of Zoë, we hope this episode makes you feel seen, less alone, and ready to have THAT conversation with your GP.
Chapters
00:00:00 The Truth of Perimenopause [TRAILER]
00:01:09 The Meet Cute of Zoe Foster Blake and Dr Fatima Khan
00:06:55 Is this Perimenopause? Early Signs + Symptoms
00:07:41 Zoe’s Perimenopause Journey: No Sleep, Anxiety, Rage, Repeat.
00:09:56 Volcanic Rage, Explained
00:14:59 What Doctor’s Miss: Misdiagnosis + Antidepressants
00:15:57 Why Your Husband Is Breathing Too Loud
00:20:18 Perimenopause Mental Health Screening
00:21:25 Debunking the “You’re Too Young” Myth
00:23:43 Is it Anxiety? Depression? Perimenopause?
00:25:26 The Pill, The Mirena + The Modern Woman in Peri
00:30:44 Loosing Yourself in Peri: Brain Fog + Dementia Fears
00:32:10 The Importance of Testosterone
00:36:00 HRT Myths: Re-educating a generation
00:39:04 A Script for a Script: What to say to your GP
00:41:12 Perimenopause Is a Multi-Organ Syndrome
00:46:09 High Achieving Women + Peri = Shame
00:46:47 When Perimenopause Unmasks Your ADHD
00:54:26 Trauma Reactivation in Perimenopause
00:57:17 Pills + Skills: Why HRT Alone Isn’t Enough
00:58:41 The Longevity of It All
01:00:30 Nutrition
📚Things to read
Group Chat, by Zoë Foster Blake - https://bit.ly/4efqR70
Hormone Health is Mental Health, by Dr Fatima Khan - https://bit.ly/4j6G2Ts
💻Things to check out
Australasian Menopause Society - menopause.org.au
Meno-D questionnaire - https://bit.ly/3Toj3sN
Zela Wellbeing - https://bit.ly/4ARGFXu
🎧Imperfects episodes for MORE on hormones
Zoë Foster Blake - Zero Lucks Given - https://bit.ly/4y8xwHx
Dr Louise Newson - Maybe it’s Menopause - https://bit.ly/4i7xM3F
Dr Louise Newson - It’s Hormones. Period. - https://bit.ly/47ya9w2
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
How OCD Hijacks Your Brain with Angie Greene
Season 8 · Episode 37
Sunday, October 4, 2026 • Duration 01:10:55
Angie’s OCD obsessions are that she has committed her worst, most insidious, fears.
💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
Officially diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) when she was 19, some of Angie’s earliest memories are of obsessions, compulsions and seeking reassurance.
Joining us in the studio, Angie talks to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the reality of living with OCD, how she navigates particularly bad episodes with her partner, and why she wouldn’t wish it on her worst enemy
Angie explains false memories, and the lengths she has gone to seek reassurance, and finally, why it is so important to her to create something that helps people feel less alone.
In amongst all of the OCD chat, Hugh asks Angie about her anti-discrimination work and the beautiful story of where that passion came from.
Chapters
00:00:00 – Trailer
00:01:27 – Angie + Hugh don’t do small talk
00:03:46 – Why Angie accepted an ARIA on behalf of Sia
00:05:45 – Growing Up in Sporting Royalty
00:07:45 – Why Angie’s Brother Came Out To Her
00:10:41 – “I’m Crying Because I Could Have Helped”
00:13:21 – Why Feeling Safe To Be Yourself Matters
00:15:02 – Angie’s Moral Compass: Where Does It Come From?
00:18:17 – OCD: Obsessions, Compulsions + Reassurance
00:20:45 – OCD Stereotypes vs Reality
00:22:52 – Feeling Like A Bad Kid
00:24:52 – Why OCD Makes Your Excruciatingly Self-Aware
00:28:02 – Examples of Intrusive Thoughts
00:30:23 – Invisible Compulsions: Kissing, Hugging, Incest
00:32:19 – Relationship OCD: Constant Fear of Cheating On Your Partner
00:34:37 – OCD False Memories: How The Brain Builds ‘Evidence’
00:36:10 – Why Reassurance Seeking Never Brings Relief
00:39:13 – What It’s Like Loving Someone With OCD
00:41:40 – What OCD Has Cost Angie: Peace, Presence + Precious Moments
00:50:08 – Why Getting The Right Treatment Was Lifechanging
00:54:52 – What Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) Actually Looks Like
00:57:02 – How To Support Someone With OCD
00:59:01 – How Angie and Her Husband Manage OCD Episodes
01:02:53 – Finding Your People Through OCD
01:05:15 – How To Respond When Someone Tells You They Have OCD
01:08:24 – Tips for Supporting Someone Who Has OCD
🧠If you, or someone you know, has been diagnosed with or thinks they may have OCD, these are some great resources. In an emergency, always call 000.
OCD BOUNCE - https://ocd.org.au
OCD WA - https://www.ocdwa.com.au
International OCD Foundation - https://iocdf.org
The Joy Thief, by Penny Moodie - https://bit.ly/3VJaKZ4
It’s Not What You Think podcast - https://bit.ly/4iZppcj
LifeLine - 13 11 14
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Penny Moodie - Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - https://bit.ly/4jxTPTd
Penny Moodie’s New Book - OCD & Finding Joy Again - https://bit.ly/4rGXkJa
Rick Davies - Living with OCD - https://bit.ly/4hxuLZY
Issac Humphries - Coming Out On Court - https://bit.ly/3VZDHQA
💻Things to check out
Andrea Wallace’s Website - https://wonderpsychology.com
Angie Greene’s Website - angiegreene.com.au
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
Luke Bateman - Gambling With My Life
Season 8 · Episode 36
Sunday, September 27, 2026 • Duration 01:16:27
Mid 20's and $250,000 in debt. Gripped by a gambling addiction. How do you recover?
💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
From the outside, it looked like Luke Bateman was living the dream: a professional NRL career with ludicrous pay checks and sponsorship deals.
On the inside, Luke was battling a crippling gambling addiction, deepening depression and a widening chasm between the character he was playing, and his true authentic self.
With immense courage, honesty and vulnerability, Luke takes Hugh, Ryan and Josh through the ups and downs of his recovery journey. Luke unpicks the difference between unconditional love and conditional help from his parents, and why his time in rehab was the best thing that ever happened to him.
Luke speaks about how his journey with addiction impacted his relationship with his mum, and the gratitude he feels for her now, and how learning about internal family systems changed his life forever.
Luke, you are such a beautiful person. Thank you for joining us today.
This episode discusses gambling addiction and suicidal ideation. Please take care when listening.
This episode is part of the BE HOPE Podcast Takeover, bringing podcasts around the world together to explore the themes of hope and how we can continue to make progress in a rapidly changing world - https://globalgoals.org/behope/
🚨If you, or someone you know is struggling with a gambling addiction
Call LifeLine - 13 11 14
Register at BetStop - betstop.gov.au
Gamblers Anonymous - https://bit.ly/3TJ1C6d
Gambling Help Online - gamblinghelponline.org.au
In an emergency, always call 000
🩵To hear our chat with Luke about The Manosphere and to join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
0:00 – Trailer: $250K of Gambling Debt
1:26 – Be Hope Podcast Takeover Announcement
4:15 – Luke Bateman doesn’t fit in a box
6:06 – Growing up ‘soft’ in Rural Queensland
10:03 – Hiding Books from the Boys
17:11 – The Shame of Reading
19:22 – Chasing a Dream to Fill the Void
22:26 – Money, Drugs & Alcohol in Professional Sport
27:40 – Lies, Debt & Betting Company ‘VIP’ Treatment
30:26 – Should Gambling Sponsorship Be Banned?
31:11 – Rock Bottom
33:18 – The Phone Call That Saved His Life
39:45 – Rehab, Recovery + Relinquishing Control
43:40 – Inside Rehab “Get a Real Addiction”
47:21 – Recovery Is Not Linear
50:21 – Internal Family Systems: Healing the exiled child
56:05 – Generational Masculinity: Why Men Struggle to Connect
58:19 – Denial + Corporate Greed
1:03:13 – Luke’s Honesty Policy
1:06:08 – Unconditional Love vs Conditional Help
1:10:18 – Sharing Shame with Teammates
1:11:37 – Luke’s Message to Anyone Struggling Right Now
1:13:03 – Finding Your Way Back
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
Jack’s Gambling Addiction Story - https://bit.ly/4hFQmk1
📚Things to read
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, by Kate DiCamillo - https://bit.ly/46FkS7v
Keys to the Kingdom, by Garth Nix - https://bit.ly/4AnBxKB
The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig - https://bit.ly/4d2Ozmx
No Bad Parts, by Richard C Scharwtz - https://bit.ly/46FSGkU
You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For, by Richard C Schwartz - https://bit.ly/3Tp0gx8
🎧Things to listen to
In The Good Books with Luke Bateman I Matt Haig: Writing What You Need to Hear - https://bit.ly/4jjvBvK
📱Things to check out
Luke’s Instagram (and his thoughts on male silence) - https://bit.ly/46AnIuy
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dr Emily - The Phenomenon That Is Imposter Syndrome
Season 8 · Episode 35
Sunday, September 20, 2026 • Duration 01:11:54
Do you live in fear of being found out as a fraud? That despite your years of competency, achievement and high performance someone will uncover the truth?
Well, you’re in the right place. Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is here to tell you that your imposter syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it’s not even a syndrome.
💌 Get practical take-aways from this episode, and join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
To get a little bit meta, Dr Emily explains that knowing that you don’t know everything, is a good thing. Especially if you’re starting a new role, or trying something for the first time.
HOWEVER, the long-term consequences of the imposter cycle such as perfectionism, overcompensation, burnout, or even avoidance and procrastination, may impact your willingness to say yes to new opportunities, such as going for that promotion or asking for support.
In this episode, Dr Emily asks Hugh, Ryan and Josh to think about the balance of their competence and confidence, and provides them (and you!) with four practical strategies for combatting this pesky phenomenon.
And then, a weird amount of chat about Vlad the Impaler.
0:00 – An Emisode!
2:41 – Adam Grant is not an imposter
5:11 – Origins of Imposter Syndrome
6:45 – ‘Syndrome’ is the wrong word
8:19 – It all comes back to belonging
10:39 – How common is imposter syndrome?
12:20 – Fear of being found out as a fraud
15:16 – The evolutionary psychology of belonging and self-doubt
16:35 – Is self-doubt actually healthy?
17:42 – Is your confidence a mask?
18:57 – The Dunning-Kruger Effect
23:15 – The more you know ….
25:12 – Competence vs confidence
26:29 – The Imposter Cycle: anxiety, perfectionism, luck
32:09 – Becoming your own favourite artist
35:55 – Avoidance, procrastination + self-fulfilling prophecies
38:29 – Long term consequences ft. Hugh’s anus
45:26 – Authenticity as the antidote
46:22 – Less growth, less promotions
48:52 – Strategy 1: write down your skills
49:53 – Strategy 2: name your shame
51:40 – Supporting a friend with imposter phenomenon
52:29 – Self-doubt in a new role is a good sign
57:12 – Strategy 3: mentor a near peer
1:00:38 – Strategy 4: celebrate your success
1:02:57 – Creating a good workplace culture
1:04:06 – Belonging is good for business
1:06:25 – Want more on belonging?
Dr Em, thanks for joining us.
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential - https://bit.ly/4jc0DFM
Dr Emily - We’re Longing for Belonging - https://bit.ly/4yElLJp
Rana Hussain - Belonging for Connection - http://bit.ly/4odhGY8
Esther Perel - It’s Not Them, It’s You - https://bit.ly/4yxgljs
🎧Things to listen to
The Curiosity Shop with Brene Brown and Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4gT05mW
📖Things to read
Hidden Potential, by Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4AemQcv
Hardwiring Happiness, by Rick Hanson - https://bit.ly/3T6IhM0
📺 Things to watch
Mad Men - https://bit.ly/4cLB6zx
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Andy Lee - DO NOT Listen To This Episode!
Season 8 · Episode 34
Sunday, September 13, 2026 • Duration 01:09:32
When he was 15, Andy Lee’s mum forgot who he was.
💌 Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
Given only two weeks to live, Andy tells Hugh, Ryan and Josh how this news impacted his family, impacted his childhood, and continues to impact his sense of self.
And then, we’re going all the way back to the early days of Radio Karate, and Hamish & Andy.
In a long overdue conversation (recorded, of course), Ryan and Andy chat about their own friendship dynamic and why they both felt like the odd one out.
Getting down to business, Andy and Ryan discuss how a bunch of 20 year old guys made tough financial decisions while trying to remain mates, how they learnt to give constructive criticism to each other, and with the blessing of hindsight, how they feel about that time now.
Andy, we’ve been waiting for this episode longer than a baker with his oven off.
0:00 – 2 years of secret vocal coaching
4:35 – HOW long for one cartoon episode?
5:48 – When Andy met Hamish (and Ryan)
9:39 – The impact of getting cancelled after 5 episodes
10:08 – The best advice Andy received
14:07 – Jealousy, Jealousy
20:25 – The Four Way Split of Hamish & Andy
23:42 – Should we be recording this?
25:10 – Social media has replaced the paparazzo
26:11 – Andy’s nude photo scandal
30:23 – Inspiration and renegotiation
36:55 – The Vulnerabilitea House
38:02 – When your mum is given two weeks to live
40:30 – Rapid deterioration and rush to hospital
43:28 – Taking on the parent role at 15
46:04 – Furious at the new normal
49:09 – Why “Don’t Worry, It’ll Be Fine” is the worst thing to say
54:36 – Andy’s Dad’s incredible sacrifice
58:20 – The Lee Gazette
1:00:50 – Why we should talk about will’s
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4A230B5
📺 Things to watch
Institute of Sayings from Real Stories - https://bit.ly/4xBJHgq
Do Not Watch This Show! - https://bit.ly/4cAwlIZ
New Zealand Spy - https://bit.ly/4hdjPBI
🎧Things to listen to
Andy Lee on Falling Upwards with Kate Langbroek - https://bit.ly/4yucp30
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
My Brilliant Career Took Years of Rejection
Season 8 · Episode 33
Sunday, September 6, 2026 • Duration 01:15:59
Have you ever watched the person you love most get everything you ever wanted? Did you harden around envy, or shrink with comparison? Were you able to find happiness for their success?
Philippa Northeast, Logie nominated and lead of Netflix’s My Brilliant Career, is a star quickly rising. Her most significant role? The little sister of our producer, Bridge.
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Joining us as a guest host, Producer Bridge, alongside Hugh, Josh and Ryan, discuss the years of failure and rejection behind the scenes of Pip’s overnight success.
Constantly aware of the need to prove herself a success, Philippa is completely vulnerable about the obsession that came from certain rejections, and her anxiety which manifested itself as trichotillomania.
Offering a unique and intimate perspective, both Bridge and Josh reflect on their respective siblings’ success, and how that has shaped their own identity.
It’s sibling vs sibling, and only one will make it out alive (kidding, it has a happy ending).
0:00 – Meet Producer Bridge’s Little Sister
5:43 – Pip’s Brilliant Career: From Home & Away to Netflix Star
11:39 – Middle Child Syndrome
19:28 – Sibling Comparison: Cricket and Drama Solos
20:55 – Finding Success Straight Out of High School
22:56 – Self-belief vs Self-doubt: Why Pip Took The Leap and Bridget Didn’t
25:30 – Feeling Over-shadowed, and Under Pressure
28:00 – Becoming an Unemployed Clown
29:17 – The Sensational Potter Backup Plan
34:01 – Getting Undressed (Again)
35:46 – The Hollywood Grind
37:32 – Lockdown, Isolation and Growing Doubt
46:15 – Obsession born from Rejection
51:49 – What Loneliness in the Acting Industry Feels Like
52:46 – The Body Keeps Score: Trichotillomania
54:47 – Healing: Journalling, Yoga, Grounding
57:04 – The Hallmark Offer That Changed Everything
1:03:39 – The Downside of Growing Up Next To A Rising Star
1:07:29 – Choosing Pride Over Jealousy
1:09:49 – The Upside of Losing to Claudia Karvan
🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way - https://bit.ly/3UNr9LC
What’s Your ATAR? - https://bit.ly/4zQ4AG5
📺 Things to watch
My Brilliant Career - https://bit.ly/4zPaW8L
Family Next Door - https://bit.ly/4gEp0cw
Newsreader - https://bit.ly/3UNr4ri
A Royal Runaway Romance - https://bit.ly/3V8rGb2
Standing Up For Sunny - https://bit.ly/4xyeASP
🎧 Things to listen to
Undressed by Sombr - https://bit.ly/4wY9Ipf
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I Tried No-Sleep-Parenting For 10 Months
Season 8 · Episode 32
Sunday, August 30, 2026 • Duration 01:08:38
What impact does sleep deprivation really have on your wellbeing? What about your parenting? What about your identity?
Matt D’Avella has amassed over 4 millions subscribers on YouTube undertaking 30-day wellness challenges, and promoting his minimalist lifestyle.
In life that was meticulously controlled, having kids changed everything.
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Blessed with a baby who woke every 30 minutes for the first ten months of their life, Matt chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about how becoming a new parent impacted every facet of his life.
Hugh and Josh share just how lonely they have felt at different times during their parenting journey, and Ryan saves the day by holding a baby for a full 40 minutes (save the applause! please!)
Matt this was a dream come true.
To watch the full episode on YouTube - https://youtu.be/foilZTRGXco
00:00 - I Tried Being Vulnerable for 30 Days
7:03 - Minimalism Maxxing
18:00 - The Vulnerabilitea House
20:25 - Becoming a father, losing sleep (and himself)
24:14 - Depression Diagnosis Wake-Up Call
32:56 - Hugh's Sleep Score
40:38 - SOS: Hiring Help, Expanding your Village
48:50 - Sleep Training: What Actually Works
52:02 - The Real Cost of Sleep Deprivation
58:29 - Being A Mum: The Additional Burden
1:01:32 - 'Do You Regret Having Kids?'
1:04:00 - The New and Improved Matt D'Ad-Avella
🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby… New Brain… Matrescence - https://bit.ly/4zVt9Si
📺 Things to watch
Minimalism Documentary - https://bit.ly/3SSZb0t
Why I disappeared - Matt D’Avella - https://bit.ly/3SwYA4g
Matt D’Avella YouTube - https://bit.ly/4wOzFXW
💤 Things to sleep train
Tresillian Sleep Organisation - https://bit.ly/4zAGTS5
The Ferber Sleep method - https://bit.ly/4iCdqB4
Masada Sleep School - https://bit.ly/4qNi7uc
📚Things to read
Regretful Parents subreddit - https://bit.ly/4gx9W0b
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The childhood struggle that inspired the world’s greatest fish chef - for reel!
Season 8 · Episode 30
Sunday, August 23, 2026 • Duration 01:06:44
How does having cancer as a child impact the way you live as an adult?
Uber successful chef and restauranteur Josh Niland doesn’t do things in halves (no, literally, have you read his book The Whole Fish?).
From opening a restaurant at 26, to becoming the first Australian to win the James Beard Book of the Year award when he was just 30, Josh’s creativity came from a place of desperation to explore every opportunity presented to him.
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Diagnosed with cancer 2 days after his 8th birthday, Josh’s childhood transformed in a matter of hours into hospital hallways, chemotherapy and facing his own mortality.
In this episode, Josh joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to talk us through an experience which profoundly changed him, which he is now grateful for.
Hugh, Ryan and Josh (our Josh), also ask about where his drive and ambitious creativity comes from, and just how close to failure Josh’s culinary career came.
We wish this chat could have gone on longer,
If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -
🫖Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned on this episode
Nathan Cavaleri - The Ups & The Blues - https://bit.ly/468HE7l
📺 Things to watch
Josh’s Australian Story - https://bit.ly/4giDtKR
📚Things to read
Saint Peter: Chapter & Verse, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN
The Whole Fish, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN
🍽️ Places to eat
Saint Peter - https://bit.ly/4qrs4gv
💻Things to check out
Starlight Children’s Foundation - https://bit.ly/4hHDkmM
Josh Niland’s Website - https://www.mrniland.com
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
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