The Giving Gifts Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

I've been thinking a lot about what to bring you for this last episode of 2023, and what felt most honest was a tiny reflection of my own and an invitation for you to consider your waiting as well. 

As I reflect on the past year, specifically the past five episodes of this season, I realize that there seems to be an underlying tone of waiting in every conversation around shame. Waiting while grieving, learning to stay while we work on believing new stories about ourselves, being patient as we learn and change, knowing to wait for our voice to be heard, and learning to redirect judgment while remaining. 

So here are some personal thoughts from my own place of navigating shame and the current waiting I find myself in. As we go into a new year, I can foresee many exciting and challenging changes, for now, I am just learning to wait. 

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“I come to the work of living and leading relationally with the lived experience of moving through life in the U.S. as an autistic, multi-racial and sometimes white-presenting “other” with many other intersecting privileges and marginalized identities. I bring relentless compassion, an unusual perspective, and an eclectic variety of tools to the conversation of expanding our lives and our leadership beyond personal growth and into relational development.”

I think it speaks for itself on why I was so excited to extend the invite to share this space with James oliva and why I am so grateful to share no be able to share this conversation with you. As we move into this holiday season and a new year I cant think of anything we need more than relentless compassion.

When it comes to this ongoing conversation on the impacts of shame James-olivia provides a really powerful perspective on the inter-workings of judgment and some alternative questions to consider. ⁠Learn more here

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Heather Green is a special education advocate, teacher, mom of two little humans, a partner, a friend to many, and a sister to me. Growing up, I knew Heather to be someone who rarely made mistakes, excelled at almost everything she did, and craved control over circumstances and people she had no real control over. I now know Heather to be a lifelong learner, a fiercely loving, compassionate, crazy intelligent human who still craves that control but is doing much better at recognizing what she can't control. 

One of the hopes in this podcast is that as we learn to listen to one another, we will begin to challenge ourselves with questions, perspectives, and stories different than our own. Learning to listen to people we don’t know is sometimes easier than listening to those we think we know. Sometimes we become familiar with people and forget to continue to learn.

Something I became aware of midway through this episode is the layers of story it holds. What you do, what you create, your career, successes, and failures are not who you are, but when you allow who you are to continually be transformed by love, by people, by committing to care deeply even when its exhausting, what you do will be a reflection of who you are. This episode is FULL of little nuggets, I can't wait for you to listen! 

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When I moved to Ensenada something I was quickly encouraged by was the local small business community. So many really incredible people creating incredible things. I had heard about Amin and hostile burgers for quite awhile before I actually got to go and the first time I went I immediately know that this guy had a special gift and story that I was eager to hear.  To be honest I kinda held back a lot of the questions i had because I really wanted to capture learning about him and his story on this podcast.

Let me try to paint this picture for you…imagine a cute little plaza with restaurants, coffee shops, some occasional destiny child playing and a casual mariachi band that walks through. In the heart of the plaza you will find amin and hostile burger. A small corner shop with a wrap around bar and seating for maybe 7 to 9 people. From floor to ceiling their is inanely incredible art. The lighting is cool, the bar is cool, its like an explosion of creativity from the sauces, to the burgers, to the clothes and shoes and art amin creates. It was only appropriate to record in the space it all takes a place. This story is just the surface of an incredible masterpiece that is Amin…

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To kick off February, the infamous month of LOVE I could not be more grateful and excited to invite you into hearing a bit from Dottie Oleson. I truly believe that no matter who you are, what you believe, what you have experienced or haven’t experienced from church culture or people who claim to be christians this episode is encouraging and needed right now. To love at all is to  learn, to listen, to accept and what a beautiful gift love is.

Who is Dottie Oleson?

Dottie is a new mom to her 14-month old son Beckham, a partner to Jesse, and a pastor and friend to many. You can catch Dottie running (for fun) in LB, CA with their sweet pup Sequoia or at a community pot luck with the crew at City Church of LB, one of two communities that Dotties pastors over. 

Dottie shares that since she was a kid she has loved the church and people and as the years progress, the images of church continue to expand into a warm, eclectic, intercultural, queer place of belonging! With 11+ years working in ministry and extensive research in psychology, Dottie uses a cross-disciplinary approach to offer pastoral care and reimagine liberated church communities. Dottie holds a Master of Divinity with a specialization in Global and Community Engagement from Boston University. 

For more resources from Dottie check this out! 

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A few fun facts about Geneva:

• “When I am in Mexico, I don’t look Mexican, and when I’m in the states, I don’t feel like I fit in there either” - Geneva was born & raised in Ensenada, MX, and currently resides in Chicago, IL.
• When Geneva isn’t changing lives through the film, you can find her roaming the world, making friends anywhere she goes, exploring coffee shops (although she isn’t drinking coffee anymore), and climbing rocks and things.
• I’ve known Geneva for more than ten years. When I moved to Mexico, she was also home visiting her family at the same time, and she did not like me, and I honestly thought it was hilarious because she didn’t even try to pretend. I wrote her name down on my “one-day podcast list” because I valued her honesty and transparency. (P.S. the conversation we had right before this one you’re about to hear is about how Geneva changed her mind about me…turns out she thinks I’m okay!)

Geneva García is this radiant, compassionate, loud, joyful, incredibly talented human being with great depth, sincerity, and a heart to fight for those who have been oppressed, misunderstood, and not cared for. Geneva carries with her a story that illuminates all life’s hues.

It feels important to mention that in this episode, Geneva bravely shares her journey with navigating religion, the battle of mental health and suicidal ideation, and her process of self-acceptance.

These areas are highly sensitive for many, and that is not taken lightly. Please do not hesitate to let someone know if anything comes up for you in this episode and you find yourself struggling with your mental, emotional, or spiritual health.

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You know when you're driving in the car with people you trust and the conversation is rich and the company is solid and you find yourself in a safe place to explore and share your thoughts? That's what recording this episode felt like. 

Mezli & Ruby are pure joy and it is such an honor to be able to deliver a bit of their story, their perspectives, and their gifts with you! I think if you listen to the questions and to the answers. If you pay attention to our experience with one another and the experience you might have, there is a lot of insight, a lot of learning, a lot of caring we can give and receive.

This episode was a little bit different as we actually played a little question game and drew questions from a jar, I thought you may enjoy answering and asking the questions as well: 

1. What is something you're proud of from this past year?

2. What is something new you want to try?

3. What is something you're afraid of?

4. What is one thing you can do this next year to be part of transformation in the world?

5. What is something you're looking froward to?

6. What is something you've learning about yourself this past year?

7. Do you believe that you are loved and that you matter in this world?

8. What do you do when you find yourself defeated?

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When I think about examples of people using their gifts to care well for others, Kelli Smith is a perfect example. Kelli is a cross-country coach, a wife to David Smith, a professional volleyball player, a mom to two kiddos, and a friend, a mentor, and an encourager to many. I met Kelli when I was working for a different nonprofit organization. I have never met a person who found so much joy in navigating databases and running reports, and I quickly learned that it wasn't just the reports Kelli found joy in. It was taking on challenges that most people would fear and avoid that brought Kelli to life. If you are familiar with the enneagram, Kelli is an 8, which she and I both have in common. If you are not familiar with enneagram is a system of understanding the human psyche based on nine personality types. The eighth is often known as the challenger, motivated to protect, fearful of being controlled, and not scared to voice their opinions, especially when standing up for something or someone. The eight is often considered the most misunderstood, predominantly female 8s. Let's say, as an 8, we are not very submissive, meek, or quiet, and some people, in my experience, most individuals who expect women to be that have a hard time understanding or appreciating enneagram 8s. When used correctly, the enneagram is an excellent tool because it provides some language and understanding for yourself and others. Kelli being an eight was not at all a surprise to me. Kelli and her family have spent most of their time living in Poland this past year. Kelli was in Poland when the war in Ukraine began, and she was the first person I saw who responded to the needs of Ukrainians who had found their way to Poland. Over the past nine months, I have witnessed Kelli use her voice and gifts to care for many people, and the work isn't done. This episode is so significant in our world right now. As you hear about Kelli's experience, I hope you will be reminded, encouraged, and challenged to use your gifts in this world because if there is anything true, every person, every enneagram type, every gift matters and is needed. IMPACT OPPORTUNITY: For every copy of Shellebrate funded in December, we will give $5 directly to Kelli to support the local Ukrainian families!  Additional resources:  Follow Kelli on Instagram: @runksmith & two other Instagrams Kelli reccomended: News: https://www.instagram.com/zelenskiy_official/ Photo Journalist: https://www.instagram.com/alinatyulyu/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thegivinggifts/support

This SUPER special episode brings together a few unique perspectives from worldwide to talk a bit about thankfulness. When we talk about thankfulness, it can feel a little cheesy, but when it comes down to it, I believe that being thankful is one of the greatest gifts we experience as humans.

I asked a few people from around the world to join me in this conversation on what it means to be thankful in a complicated, challenging, beautiful, and dynamic world.

A few years ago, I had the privilege of spending a month in Soshanguve, a township in South Africa, with Luc Kabongo and his family. Luc is among the most intelligent, hardworking, and humble humans I have ever encountered. During that trip, I met Debbie Horrock, who at the time was living in South Africa and is now back in Scotland with her husband and now four little kiddos! Imagine a time when you were freezing outside, and you walked in and snuggled up in a cozy blanket by a fire… that's what it was like to know Debbie…comforting, familiar, safe, and warm.

And then there is Max Lynd. It is difficult for me to remember life before meeting Max. Another human who I consider to be a brother and a person who I have seen continually grow in how he loves others so profoundly, consistently, and intentionally.

If you put the four of us in a room, you get four very different stories of four very other people, across four different countries, living four very different lives. But if you listen long enough, you'll hear a similar heartbeat. That's what this practice of thankfulness does, and it takes all the differences in this world and draws us together, which is such a gift.

P.S. This intro may be the best thing I've ever put together!

Resources: 

• The Giving Gifts put together a free gratitude & connection activity for people all over the world to participate in this week! Check it out and put your location on the map so you know who else is participating! 
• Debbie has put together a great resource that walks you through the Examen Activity that is mentioned in the podcast! 

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Gosh….Julia Rockowitz…where to begin.

I need to get a little more personal in explaining who Julia is because of the immense impact this human has had and continues to have in my life. I met Julia when she was 10 and I was 13, and I quickly came to know Julia as a sister. A connection that would not require DNA but would be secure through years of life, moving changes, and so many circumstances. Julia is a person who is constantly reminding those around her of the most beautiful aspects of being alive. Never discounting the challenging emotions or frustrating experiences but reflecting on the importance of celebrating every part of being human. If you were to ask me to explain Julia in three words, I would say: grounded, steady, and safe. A person who is committed to the process of being present, willing, learning, and responsive..okay, sorry, that was more than three words.

You do not need to know Julia or honestly to even know who Julia is to me to get an incredible amount of value from tuning into this episode. There is something for literally everyone to connect with. I can’t wait for you to listen!

P.S. Julia wanted to make sure there was a disclaimer…she definitely is aware that Hawaii is undoubtedly part of the United States Of America…😂

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