Explore every episode of the podcast The Gen Mess with Tess
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ep 77: Why Your Burnout Recovery Keeps Failing (Guest: Dr. Suzanne Bober) | 09 sept. 2026 | 00:51:12 | |
The burnout conversation has been missing something. Not willpower, not better habits, not the right morning routine. What's actually missing is the body. In this episode, Tess sits down with Dr. Suzanne Bober, chiropractor, nervous system educator, and founder of the Infinite Balance Blueprint, whose 25 years of clinical work led her to one conclusion: burnout isn't a character flaw, a motivation problem, or a generational weakness. It's a nervous system at capacity. And no amount of rest, yoga, or time off changes that if nothing physiological changes first. Dr. Bober is the author of Burnout Rewired, which reframes the entire burnout conversation around what she calls cognitive overload and the science of nervous system expansion. Her core message is one most leaders and young workers have never heard: you don't need to be less ambitious. You need a system that can actually support how ambitious you already are. What you will learn:
00:00 Introduction: Who Is Dr. Suzanne Bober 00:58 Origin Story: From Chiropractic to Nervous System Education 02:48 Cognitive Overload vs. Burnout: Why the Language Matters 04:00 Signs Your Nervous System Is at Capacity (That Most People Miss) 08:48 How Stress Shows Up in the Body: Tension, Breathing, and Immune Suppression 13:05 Why Gen Z Enters Work With the Cup Already Full 14:31 You Don't Need Less Ambition. You Need a Bigger Nervous System. 22:37 Thrival vs. Survival: What Expanded Capacity Actually Feels Like 28:49 Where Your Energy Actually Is (And Why You Can't Access It) 33:16 Doing Less to Get More: Why Your Starting State Changes Everything 37:21 Mental Load, Present-Moment Focus, and Why Multitasking Is a Myth 41:28 Bed Rotting: What It's Really Telling Us About Gen Z Guest: Dr. Suzanne Bober, Chiropractor, Nervous System Educator, Founder of the Infinite Balance Blueprint Book: Burnout Rewired (contact Dr. Bober for a free chapter) Dr. Bober's Energy Quiz: https://thehub-api.mastermind.com/widget/quiz/6FP4OnNCOBAD3egZPgGu Learn more: https://harbourfrontchiropractic.com/dr-suzanne-bober Follow The Gen Mess with Tess for weekly conversations about generational challenges in the workplace and our daily lives. Visit tessbrigham.com to learn more. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 76: Why Authority Doesn't Work the Way It Used To | 02 sept. 2026 | 00:13:25 | |
For most of modern work, being difficult was something leadership could get away with if they were brilliant enough. We didn't just tolerate the tortured genius, we romanticized them. And there was a logic to it. If someone controlled access to knowledge, skills, or connections you couldn't get anywhere else, you put up with them, because the trade was worth it. That trade is over. And most leaders haven't noticed yet. In this solo episode, Tess breaks down why the authority structures that ran workplaces for the last century are collapsing, and why Gen Z didn't cause the collapse; they're just the first generation willing to name it out loud. Exploring how we got into the organizational psychology framework behind the shift (French and Raven's bases of power), what the Harvard Business School trust triangle actually looks like in practice, and the one sentence that explains why so many leaders are struggling with their teams right now: they think they have a respect problem, when what they actually have is a trust problem. What you'll learn:
00:00 Introduction + Dear Gen Mess Newsletter Announcement 00:40 How Information Used to Be the Ultimate Currency at Work 02:24 The Tortured Genius Deal: Why We Romanticized Difficult Bosses 04:00 French and Raven's Bases of Power (And Why Two of Them Are Failing) 04:41 When Information Stops Being Scarce, Relationship Is All That's Left 06:00 You Don't Have a Respect Problem. You Have a Trust Problem. 07:00 Real Workplace Example: When Control Replaces Relationship 08:00 Gen Z Never Agreed to the Old Deal 09:45 The Trust Triangle: Authenticity, Empathy, and Logic 11:00 One Practical Move Per Trust Leg for Your Next One-on-One 11:36 The Bottom Line: What Leaders Actually Need Now Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 75: Are We Losing Empathy in Our Connected World? (Guest: Mimi Nicklin) | 26 août 2026 | 00:49:25 | |
We've lost 48% of our empathy in the last 30 years. In a world that's more connected than ever, that's not a coincidence. It's a biology problem. In this episode, I sit down with Mimi Nicklin, bestselling author and founder of Empathy Everywhere, who has spent years traveling the globe training senior leaders to treat empathy as the competitive advantage it actually is. She's shared stages with Bill Gates and Steve Wozniak and reached over five million people worldwide with one core argument: empathy isn't soft. It's the hardest, most measurable skill in the room. What we get into in this episode is the reframe most leaders desperately need. Mimi breaks down what empathy actually is (it's not what you think), why our brains are physiologically less capable of it under stress, and what the FBI, the US Army, and the CEO of Chanel all have in common. Plus, the four stages of real empathy change, and why you can do this in under 120 seconds. What you'll learn:
00:00 Introduction: Who Is Mimi Nicklin 00:40 Mimi's Origin Story: From Senior Ad Executive to Empathy Advocate 05:09 Why Empathy Is a Hard Skill (And the Data That Proves It) 07:38 What Empathy Actually Is: Perspective Taking and the Prefrontal Cortex 11:04 Why Being More Connected Is Making Us Less Empathetic 16:20 Empathy Is Not Agreement: Why That Distinction Changes Everything 20:04 The Generational Tension: What Older Leaders and Younger Workers Both Get Wrong 26:17 Listening-Led Leadership and Why Assumption Is the Enemy of Performance 32:26 How Mimi Works: Speaking, Content, and the Four Stages of Change 35:25 Who's Actually Doing This Right: Satya Nadella, Chanel, and Jamil Zaki 39:06 Practice Creates Permanence, Not Perfection 41:03 40 Ways to Connect: Practical Tools Anyone Can Use Today Guest: Mimi Nicklin Organization: Empathy Everywhere Website: empathyeverywhere.co Follow The Gen Mess with Tess for weekly episodes. Visit TessBrigham.com to learn more. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 74: How to Rewire Your Brain and Break the Patterns Running Your Life (with Thais Gibson) | 19 août 2026 | 00:50:08 | |
Most people think self-awareness is the goal. It's not. It's the starting line. In this episode, I sit down with Thais Gibson, founder of the Personal Development School, who spent over a decade earning a PhD and 13+ certifications across cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnosis, somatic experiencing, and more to answer one question: How do you actually change what's running your life at the subconscious level? Thais grew up with fearful avoidant attachment in a chaotic family environment and spent years learning how to rewire the patterns quietly controlling her decisions, her relationships, and her sense of self. Now she helps people all over the world do the same through a framework that integrates attachment theory, neuroplasticity, CBT, and somatic processing. We get into the specific mechanics: why affirmations don't work, what the subconscious mind actually responds to, and the exact exercise she uses to rewire a core wound in 21 days. This one gets practical fast. What you'll learn in this episode:
00:00 Introduction: Who Is Thais Gibson 01:14 Thais' Origin Story: Fearful Avoidant Attachment and a Chaotic Childhood 05:52 The Three Pillars of Healing: Core Wounds, Nervous System, and Identity 09:31 The BTEA Framework: How One Belief Drives Your Entire Day 13:23 Why Rewiring Works: Neuroplasticity and the Subconscious Mind 15:31 The 15 Core Wounds by Attachment Style 17:55 The 21-Day Rewiring Exercise (Step by Step) 21:02 Gen Z, Social Media, and Getting Into This Work Earlier 30:03 Why We Keep Choosing the Same People (The Subconscious Comfort Zone) 32:04 What Actually Makes Something Trauma 40:00 Victimhood vs. Victimization: The Distinction That Changes Everything 46:29 Where to Start: Programs, Resources, and Next Steps Guest: Thais Gibson, Founder, Personal Development School Website: personaldevelopmentschool.com Visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about host Tess Brigham, and sign up for the free weekly Dear Gen Mess Newsletter. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 73: How to Stop Avoiding Conflict For Good | 12 août 2026 | 00:15:27 | |
Someone corners you at your desk to vent about a coworker. You listen, you nod, you leave them feeling a little lighter. You didn't do anything wrong. But you just became the container for someone else's unresolved conflict. There's a name for this. It's called triangulation. And once you see it, you cannot unsee it. In this solo episode I walk through the psychology of why this pattern is so hard to give up, drawing on Murray Bowen's family systems theory and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar's research on gossip as social bonding. I cover the three real reasons people avoid going direct: it's not just conflict avoidance, it's anxiety regulation, it's a genuine need to be seen, and it's risk avoidance around a relationship that actually matters. I also share what happened with a client of mine, I'm calling her Maya, who spent over a year in the same Friday coffee ritual before one sentence to her manager changed everything. If you've ever been someone's Friday coffee, or if you're a manager wondering why the same tension keeps surfacing on your team quarter after quarter, this episode is for you. What you'll learn in this episode:
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Opening hook and introduction to triangulation 01:20 Murray Bowen and family systems theory: why the triangle is more stable than a two-person relationship under stress 02:24 How triangulation shows up at work: managers, HR, and the desk-side vent 03:00 Why the pattern feels good: anxiety reduction and Robin Dunbar on gossip as social bonding 04:47 Why "just talk to them directly" almost never works: you are asking someone to give up something that is working 05:45 Why the pattern never resolves the conflict: relief is real but temporary, and the same tension resurfaces 06:30 The third driver nobody names: risk avoidance and the real cost of going direct 07:50 The Maya story: a year of Friday coffee venting, one question, and one sentence that shifted everything 11:30 What to do when you are the third point in someone else's conflict 11:47 Three concrete things managers can do right now 13:30 The bottom line: conflict avoided is conflict postponed Visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about fixing the mess in the modern workplace. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 72: ADHD, Autism, and the Myth of Productivity with Genie Love | 05 août 2026 | 00:49:59 | |
Most managers have at least one person on their team who is hard to read. They resist changes. They go quiet after a pivot. They seem disengaged, or they overdeliver one week and disappear the next. And the usual management advice does not seem to reach them. In this episode I sit down with Genie Love, an executive functioning and relationship coach with over 25 years of experience working with neurodivergent adults. Genie spent 13 years supporting students with ADHD and autism in schools before shifting to adult coaching, helping people whose brains were never designed for the systems being handed to them. We talk about why more adults are getting diagnosed with ADHD and autism now, why the apps and planners always fail, and why productivity is the wrong goal entirely. Genie introduces the concept of steadiness as the target instead, and walks through two concrete starting points that actually work for neurodivergent brains. We also get into what managers can realistically do without overhauling everything, and why the accommodations that help neurodivergent employees almost always turn out to help everyone on the team. What you'll learn in this episode:
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction and guest bio: Genie Love, executive functioning coach 00:47 Genie's origin story: from physical therapy to 25 years of neurodivergent coaching 04:27 Why more adults are being diagnosed with ADHD and autism now 07:10 The midlife tipping point: when systems that worked before suddenly stop working 10:17 ADHD vs. autism: overlaps and differences in the coaching approach 11:30 Why apps and planners keep failing neurodivergent people 15:12 Productivity vs. steadiness: why the wrong goal is burning people out 20:20 Technology, constant access, and the value of learning to do nothing 24:14 The hard-thing setup protocol, time blocking, and energy blocking 31:38 Mindset advice that backfires and the autistic burnout risk 34:01 Late diagnosis: shame, grief, resources for parents, and why parents need coaching too 43:37 What managers can do: one small change that ends up benefiting everyone Follow Genie Love & Join Her Newsletter https://beyondcoaching.pro/ Join the Dear Gen Mess Community to get the weekly download of the generational challenges facing us all. https://www.tessbrigham.com/podcast Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 71: Why Your Best Manager Is Burning Out | 29 juil. 2026 | 00:16:05 | |
She is the manager first to respond to a message, even outside of normal business hours. She takes on every project nobody else wants. She quietly rewrites deliverables before they go out, even when she technically does not have to. Her team loves her, leadership loves her, she is the best manager you've ever worked with. And she is running on fumes in a way that will never once show up on paper. In this solo episode I go deep on a pattern I see repeatedly in my work with high-performing managers, particularly women. This is not about a leadership style or a personality trait. It is about a childhood role that never got put down. And it is quietly running her nervous system every single day at work. I walk through the psychology of parentification, Murray Bowen's concept of overfunctioning and underfunctioning from family therapy, and why the standard advice, just delegate more, does not just fail these managers. In some cases it actively makes things worse. I also share a composite case study and give both the manager living this pattern and the leaders above her something concrete to do differently.
00:00 Introduction and hook: the manager who seems to handle everything 00:58 What this episode is really about: a childhood role that never got put down 02:10 Parentification: the framework and the story it writes in the brain 03:15 Eldest daughter syndrome: what it is, who it applies to, and why Tess is focusing on women today 04:48 The Sierrico thesis on birth order and caretaking roles, and how they become a management style 05:45 Murray Bowen: overfunctioning and underfunctioning from family therapy 06:30 Why overfunctioning is really about anxiety regulation, not the quality of the work 07:07 Why just delegate more misses the mark and why willpower won't fix a body problem 08:20 Three specific ways telling someone to delegate more backfires 09:25 Meet Rachel: the composite case study and what her day actually looks like 11:20 It does not look like a wound. It looks like competence. 11:41 What actually helps: noticing, pausing, and getting curious before taking back over 12:30 How to give feedback to a manager like Rachel without triggering the old story 13:45 The bottom line: burnout in your best managers is an old role playing out on a new stage
Follow for weekly episodes that aren't just fixing the mess, but teaching you how to live in it. Visit tessbrigham.com for more. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 70: The Part of Your Brain That's Quietly Killing Motivation with Dr. Kyra Bobinet | 22 juil. 2026 | 00:58:21 | |
Have you ever watched a talented employee just stop trying? They know what to do. They have the skills. And still, nothing. What you are witnessing is not a character flaw. It is a brain event. And until now, most of us have had no name for it. Dr. Kyra Bobinet is a public health physician, scientist, and behavioral designer who has spent her career closing what she calls the know-do gap: the space between knowing what you should do and actually doing it. She has identified the specific brain region responsible for killing motivation, generating negative self-talk, and driving everything from procrastination to addiction. It is called the habenula. It is the size of a pea. And it is running more of your team's behavior than you realize. In this conversation we go deep on the neuroscience of motivation and disengagement, what triggers the habenula (and what that is) to shut people down at work, why GLP-1 medications are actually addiction drugs that work through this same brain region, how Gen Z's particular history with social media and loneliness makes them especially vulnerable to habenula overload, and what managers can actually do about it. Dr. Bobinet also shares the iterative mindset framework she has published in peer-reviewed research, which is available as a free tool at her website.
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS: 00:01 Introduction and guest bio: Dr. Kyra Bobinet, public health physician and behavioral designer 01:06 Origin story: patients who swear they'll change and then don't, and the know-do gap 03:04 The habenula: what it is, how it kills motivation, and why it drives negative self-talk 07:00 Habenula vs. amygdala: the prediction machine vs. the fear response 09:10 Trauma, adverse childhood experiences, and the hypersensitive habenula 11:46 Substances at work: the stat, the self-medication cycle, and the habenula's role in addiction and cravings 15:47 GLP-1s and the habenula: why they reduce cravings far beyond weight loss 19:53 Loneliness, belonging, and why 67% of Gen Z report feeling lonely 24:04 What happens in the brain when someone stops making progress at work 29:13 Building small wins into the workday and the iterative mindset framework 37:07 Gen Z, social media overload, and what managers are getting wrong about disengagement 45:10 Workplace rituals that protect motivation, plus the third/third/third hiring rule 49:37 Why 30-day resets backfire and what to do instead: the planner, the doer, and the free tool at drkyrabobinet.com Subscribe to the podcast for weekly content, and visit tessbrigham.com to learn more. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 69: Why You're Scared to Give Gen Z Feedback | 15 juil. 2026 | 00:09:55 | |
There is a fear spreading through management right now that nobody is naming out loud. Managers are scared to give feedback to their Gen Z employees. And because it stays unspoken, it is quietly destroying performance culture inside organizations everywhere. In this episode, I walk through exactly why this is happening, what it's costing you, and what works when it comes to delivering feedback to a younger workforce. This is not a Gen Z problem, and it is not a manager problem. It is a product of a generation raised with a very specific relationship to evaluation, criticism, and their own sense of worth colliding with a management culture that was never trained to work with that reality. I draw on Carol Dweck's research on fixed vs. growth mindset, Dr. Kristin Neff's work on self-compassion and external performance feedback, organizational researcher Edgar Schein's concept of humble inquiry, and Sheila Heen's research from Thanks for the Feedback to explain what is actually happening in those feedback conversations when they go sideways. Then I give you concrete, specific tools to make them go differently. What you'll learn in this episode:
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS: 00:01 The fear managers won't say out loud 00:40 The millennial manager story: one feedback conversation that went wrong and what happened next 02:01 The deep mismatch in expectations, emotional history, and how Gen Z was wired to receive feedback 02:10 Carol Dweck: growth mindset and the conditions required to develop it 03:20 How self-esteem culture, protective parenting, and social media shaped Gen Z's relationship with evaluation 03:44 Dr. Kristin Neff: self-compassion research and what happens when worth is tied to external feedback 04:08 The leap: how this report missed the mark becomes you are inadequate 04:41 Many Gen Z employees have never received direct developmental feedback before 05:00 Three specific things going wrong in feedback conversations right now 05:00 Problem 1: feedback is about identity, not behavior 05:45 Problem 2: no relational foundation exists before the feedback lands (Edgar Schein, humble inquiry) 06:25 Problem 3: expectations were never set clearly upfront 07:04 One concrete shift: the 20-second framing technique 07:50 Sheila Heen: asking for a smaller piece to give employees agency 08:30 The real truth about what Gen Z actually needs from a manager Download my FREE Gen Z Playbook: https://www.tessbrigham.com/#retention Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 68: Why We Need More Black Therapists and What Institutions Are Actually Doing About It | 08 juil. 2026 | 00:56:36 | |
Are our educational systems actually built for the people who need them most? For students who are also parents, caregivers, veterans, and full-time workers, the traditional model of higher education was never designed with them in mind. And in the Black community, where those layers of responsibility are often even more pronounced. The gap between who the system was built for and who it needs to serve has real consequences. In this conversation I sit down with Dr. Alvin McLean, clinical psychologist and dean of psychology at National University, and Cherina Shaw, PhD candidate in psychology, doula, mother of six, and homeschool parent. We cover a lot of ground in this one, from why psychology training pipelines produce so few Black therapists, to what culturally responsive care actually looks like in practice, to one of the most important insights I have heard about worldview and how it shapes the kind of advice a person can actually receive. We also talk about where integrated physical and mental healthcare is headed and why it matters more than most people realize. This conversation is for HR leaders, healthcare providers, therapists in training, and anyone thinking about what it means to really see the people they are trying to help. What you'll learn in this episode:
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS: 00:37 Dr. McLean on why he focused his career on Black mental health 04:10 Cherina's path to a psychology PhD 07:50 Why psychology programs produce so few Black therapists and what the system gets wrong 08:09 HBCUs, state-by-state licensing, and the structural gap in the pipeline 11:16 National University's flexible model and why 70% of their students are people of color 13:22 Starting the pipeline earlier: building toward psychology careers at the elementary level 14:36 The problem with taking one multicultural competency class and calling it done 16:00 How the doctoral program at National University structures a full year of multicultural training 17:27 Implicit bias training in hospitals and why it matters for patient outcomes 18:59 Gen Z and therapy: more acceptance, but are they doing the work? 20:44 The Amazon generation and the demand for instant results 21:41 Young Black men being open about emotions on reality TV and what that signals 22:24 The gap between checking the therapy box and real internal change 23:25 The future of integrated physical and mental healthcare 25:38 Why integrated care is gaining momentum: cost data and long-term outcomes 26:11 How technology is reshaping mental health needs across generations 27:14 Intentional technology use and reclaiming mental downtime 30:38 What does culturally responsive care actually look like in practice? 31:03 Preparation, listening, partnership over task completion 33:02 Collective worldview: why prioritizing yourself can feel like betrayal 35:02 How to recognize a collective worldview through observation and conversation 38:13 Humility as the foundation of culturally competent care 39:14 Imposter syndrome, the pressure to have all the answers, and learning to let go of it 41:23 Acknowledging intersecting identities in coaching and clinical work 43:41 Prison reform: rehabilitation, for-profit prisons, and what actually works 44:50 Peer support specialists and preparing people to return to community 51:05 Final takeaways from both guests 51:25 Healing is incremental, ongoing, and that is okay 52:25 Collaborative care and leading with humility Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 67: 3 Signs Your Gen Z Employee Is About to Quit That Most Managers Never See Coming | 01 juil. 2026 | 00:10:37 | |
I had no idea anything was wrong. They seemed fine and then they just quit. This is the most common thing I hear from managers and HR leaders right now. And here is what I need you to understand: The silence is not the problem. The silence is the symptom. In this solo episode, I break down exactly what is happening psychologically when a Gen Z employee goes quiet, why this generation responds to stress by withdrawing rather than speaking up, and what you can do to catch it before it becomes a resignation letter you never saw coming. I walk through the neuroscience behind this pattern, including neuroscientist Stephen Porges' polyvagal theory and why the nervous system's freeze response gets misread by managers as contentment. I also draw on developmental psychologist Jean Twenge's research on Gen Z's anxiety levels and psychologist Wendy Mogul's work on the parenting patterns that left this generation without the tools to navigate interpersonal friction at work. And I give you three specific behavioral signals to watch for, plus two questions you can ask in your next one on one that change the entire dynamic. What you'll learn in this episode:
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS: 00:01 Opening hook: the resignation that came out of nowhere 00:40 Why silence surprises us: managers are trained to look for the wrong signals 01:45 What Gen Z gives you instead: quiet, gradual withdrawal 02:18 Jean Twenge's research on Gen Z's anxiety and nervous system development 03:20 The heightened threat detection response this generation developed 03:50 Stephen Porges: polyvagal theory and the freeze response 04:42 Wendy Mogul: parenting patterns and the lack of tools for interpersonal friction 05:45 Signal 1: They stop asking questions 06:10 Signal 2: Responses get shorter and more transactional 06:35 Signal 3: They stop bringing problems to you (the most dangerous signal) 07:06 Client story: the 25-year-old who stopped speaking in meetings 07:50 What to do: one concrete thing to try this week 08:30 Two specific questions to ask in your next one on one 09:33 Closing and call to action Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 66: The Health and Financial Crisis of Fertility Care for the Next Generation | 24 juin 2026 | 00:47:28 | |
In this episode, I sit down with Laura McDonald, co-founder of Flora Fertility, the first individually owned insurance solution for fertility and women's health. Laura is a bestselling author, former financial media personality, and the founder of Canada's largest financial media company focused on women and wealth, which she built, scaled, and sold. Now she is tackling one of the most urgent and under-discussed financial crises facing the next generation: the cost of fertility care. We talk about why 72% of Gen Z women are already thinking about fertility anxiety before they are even trying to conceive, why the current group benefits model is failing most employees, how Flora Fertility is changing that with individually owned coverage starting at $15 a month, and what HR leaders and parents can actually do right now. If you manage Gen Z employees, have a young adult daughter, or are a young woman thinking about your own options, this conversation will change the way you look at reproductive health as a financial planning issue. What you'll learn in this episode:
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction and guest bio 01:04 Laura's origin story: from financial media to fertility insurance 07:20 Why Gen Z women are thinking about fertility by age 23: the data 10:24 Tess's theory on how Gen Z women approach life differently than Gen X 12:41 Laura's own daughters and the reality of Gen Z's mindset around family 14:35 Birth rates, delayed motherhood, and what the data actually shows 16:31 Why women are finally being honest about what parenthood really looks like 19:18 The conversation parents need to be having with their 22-24 year old daughters 20:34 How Flora Fertility works: pricing, coverage, and the set-it-and-forget-it model 23:23 The financial reality: 80% of people pay for IVF on credit cards 25:32 How financial stress directly affects fertility outcomes 26:06 Why Fortune 500 fertility benefits are not the solution most people think they are 31:12 Emotional intelligence, pet insurance, and why Flora resonates differently 33:37 How Flora is earning trust with a generation skeptical of insurance 37:54 Why Flora may be the first financial product Gen Z women ever actually buy 40:25 The gig economy, 12 jobs, and why benefits have to travel with you 41:45 What HR leaders should be doing right now 43:55 Parents as policyholders: gifting coverage to adult children Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 65: Why "I Don't Feel Safe" Is the Phrase Every HR Leader Needs to Decode Right Now | 17 juin 2026 | 00:13:10 | |
When a Gen Z employee says they don't feel safe at work, most leaders have one of two reactions. They either panic, thinking they have a legal problem on their hands, or they get quietly frustrated, assuming they're dealing with an overdramatic employee. In this episode, Tess Brigham, licensed therapist and certified coach, breakd down why both of those reactions miss what's actually happening and what to do instead. Tracing the psychological and generational roots of Gen Z's emotional vocabulary through the work of Dan Siegel on interpersonal neurobiology and the yes brain concept, John Bowlby's attachment theory as extended to the workplace by Cindy Hazen and Philip Shaver, and Stanford researcher Jeff Cohen's research on belonging uncertainty, you'll also hear three real examples from Tess's practice that demonstrate exactly what this looks like in day-to-day workplace moments. If you manage Gen Z employees or lead teams that do, this episode will change the way you hear this phrase and give you one concrete, immediately usable response. What you'll learn in this episode:
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS: 00:01 Introduction and opening hook 01:10 Why this phrase creates so much confusion across generations 02:28 Where Gen Z's emotional language comes from: Dan Siegel and the yes brain 04:44 Attachment theory at work: Bowlby, Hazan, and Shaver 05:30 Three real client examples from Tess's practice 07:04 Why belonging is non-negotiable: Jeff Cohen's belonging uncertainty research 09:18 The single most important shift: get curious instead of defensive 10:20 Carl Rogers and the power of being genuinely heard Follow The Gen Mess for weekly content on generational workplace dynamics, and visit tessbrigham.com to learn more. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 64 : How to Build a Team That Actually Follows Through with Jon Dario | 10 juin 2026 | 00:42:06 | |
How to Manage Without Relying on Authority Most managers walk into their first role thinking the job is to tell people what to do and hold them accountable when they don't do it. Jon Dario spent 30 years in retail leadership (Macy's, Gap, Travelex, and Bank of America) learning why that instinct is exactly wrong. Out of that experience came AIM: Action Item Management. This system gives frontline managers the structure, follow-through, and daily accountability that actually gets results. He has written it all down in his new book, AIM: How Managers Get Radically Reliable Results. Jon and Tess get into what great management actually looks like, how to lead Gen Z specifically, and the one thing every first-time manager should understand before they ever give a single direction. In this episode:
Jon's book AIM: How Managers Get Radically Reliable Results is available on Amazon in paperback, hardcover, audio, and ebook. Find Jon at jondario.com. Follow The Gen Mess with Tess for more weekly episodes about fixing the generational mess and learning how to live in it. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 63: Why Gen Z Feels Hopeless | 03 juin 2026 | 00:09:15 | |
Every generation has faced a broken world. Wars, poverty, injustice, economic collapse. None of that is new. So why does this generation feel more hopeless than any that came before? In this episode, Tess makes the case that it is not the world that got worse. It is the exposure. And for the first time in history, there is nowhere to look that is not the world. Tess walks through what the research actually says about why this is happening, why it hits Gen Z harder than any other generation, and one reframe that genuinely changes how you relate to all of it in this psychologically grounded episode.
Follow The Gen Mess with Tess, and find free resources at tessbrigham.com Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 62: From Baby Boomers to Gen Z - The Workplace Pattern That Never Changes with Meagan Johnson | 27 mai 2026 | 00:45:21 | |
Never before have so many generations shared a workplace at the same time. And never before has the opportunity for both collaboration and conflict been this high. This week, Tess sits down with Meagan Johnson, generational keynote speaker and co-author of the bestselling book Generations, Inc.: Managing the Friction Between Generations at Work, written with her father Larry Johnson. Meagan has spent over 30 years helping organizations from Harley-Davidson to Boeing to the CIA navigate the very conflicts most leaders are still trying to figure out. The conversation covers every generation in the workforce right now, what leaders keep getting wrong about each one, why the same story keeps repeating, and where we might actually be headed. In this episode:
Find Meagan at meaganjohnson.com. Generations, Inc. is available now. Meagan's podcast launches this summer. 00:00: Welcome and Meagan Johnson introduction 01:15: How Meagan became a generational speaker, starting at Quaker Oats in 1993 03:40: The story that repeats every generation: why 20-somethings have always been "too difficult" 05:45: How the work evolved from Gen X-focused to covering all five generations 07:00: Writing Generations, Inc. with her father, and planning a wedding at the same time 09:10: The biggest myth about Baby Boomers and technology 11:10: Gen X: the forgotten generation that pioneered working from home 13:00: Millennial managers: turning into exactly what was said about them 15:10: What Millennials got right that previous generations missed: championing mentorship 17:30: The most common Gen Z misconception (hint: they are not just a younger Millennial) 19:00: Gen Z as true digital natives: no dial-up, no cursive, no idea how to sign a lease 21:00: AI in the workplace and why blocking it is exactly like blocking Facebook in 2008 23:30: The root of almost every generational conflict: "when I was that age..." 26:00: Technical skills versus personal skills: what has changed with new graduates 28:30: Why managers resist giving the next generation advantages they never had 30:00: The questions every manager should be asking about their own expectations 32:00: The seat belt analogy for resistant leaders: new information, better results 34:00: The Gen Z office myth: they do want to come in, just with the option not to 35:30: Gen Z sees Zoom as face-to-face contact (and why that matters) 37:00: Corporate ladder versus corporate lattice: the Gen Z employee who called the CEO for lunch 39:30: Why we dim Gen Z's lights when they are just trying to figure it out 40:30: Where we are headed: five generations, AI, and the future of the workplace 43:00: Mental health at work becoming the new standard, just like mentorship did 44:30: Emotional intelligence as the new baseline requirement for leadership 46:00: Where to find Meagan and her upcoming podcast Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 61: How to Build Self Trust to Break Toxic Patterns in the Workplace | 20 mai 2026 | 00:14:50 | |
Last episode, Tess told you why the toxic workplace pattern repeats, and identified each of the patterns: avoidance, disconnection, and measuring the environment instead of looking inward. This follow up episode provide 3 exercises to disrupt those patterns. These exercises are designed to go to the root of where you actually get stuck. If you haven't listened to Episode 60 yet, start there first. This episode will make a lot more sense once you've identified which pattern is yours. In this episode:
Researcher credits: Stephen Hayes, developer of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) Antonio Damasio, neuroscientist, research on somatic signals and decision-making Kristin Neff, self-compassion researcher, University of Texas Austin Follow The Gen Mess with Tess for weekly episodes. Visit tessbrigham.com to learn more. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 60: How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Toxic Workplace Patterns | 13 mai 2026 | 00:10:38 | |
You left. You reflected. You did the work. You asked better questions, watched for red flags, and turned down offers that didn't feel right. And then six months into the new job, the same feeling came back. This isn't bad luck. And it isn't a failure of effort. It's psychology. In Part 1 of this two-part series, licensed therapist and certified coach, Tess Brigham, breaks down the real reason so many people, especially Gen Z workers entering or re-entering the workforce, end up repeating the same patterns at work even when they're actively trying to avoid it. The answer is uncomfortable but important: most people do a thorough post-mortem on the wrong thing. They autopsy the job. They never examine themselves. In this episode:
Researcher credit: Amy Edmondson, Harvard Business School, psychological safety research 00:00: Opening story: the client who did everything right and still ended up back in the same place 01:40: The hard truth: she solved the right problem the wrong way 02:00: You autopsied the job. The job isn't what repeated. You repeated. 02:25: The three patterns that follow people from one workplace to the next 02:35: Pattern 1: Avoidance and what making yourself smaller to survive actually costs you 03:30: How avoidance rewrites your beliefs about whether it's safe to speak up 04:10: Pattern 2: Disconnection and losing touch with how you actually feel at work 04:35: Pattern 3: Measuring the wrong things, salary, title, and the cold brew on tap 05:15: The questions that actually predict whether you'll thrive somewhere 05:40: Why most people were never taught those questions were valid to ask 06:00: Amy Edmondson's research on psychological safety and why organizations don't teach it 06:55: Gen Z is not the problem. They're the first ones saying what everyone should have been asking. 07:45: What to ask yourself if you've repeated the pattern 08:30: The bottom line: you were handed the wrong checklist 09:00: Preview of Episode 61: three exercises that go to the root of each pattern Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 59: What to Do When You've Done Everything Right But Still Feel Off with Malaika Smyth | 06 mai 2026 | 00:59:01 | |
You did everything right. The school, the job, the hustle. You followed the path, and you're good at it! So why does it still feel like something's missing? This week, Tess sits down with Malaika Smyth, a coach for high achievers who have checked every box and still find themselves asking a surprisingly hard question: what do I actually want for myself? Malaika brings a rare combination of experience as a Division I athlete background, nearly eight years scaling coaching operations at BetterUp from 50 to over 3,500 coaches, and her own winding path through quarter-life crisis, identity shifts, and a gift box business detour. She helps people build success that actually feels like theirs. This conversation goes deep on the psychology of high achievement, what Silicon Valley's performance culture does to young people, and why so many accomplished professionals have never once stopped to ask what they actually want. In this episode:
To connect with Malaika Smyth, visit malaikasmyth.com or find her on LinkedIn. 00:00 — Welcome & Malaika Smyth introduction 01:20 — When Malaika first questioned whether being a high achiever was actually working for her 02:43 — Where the drive came from — internal wiring or outside pressure? 04:10 — Growing up in Silicon Valley: the unspoken assumption that you had to do something "big" 07:00 — The duck metaphor: calm on the surface, paddling furiously underneath 08:40 — College as non-negotiable — and how environment sets a path without anyone saying a word 09:50 — Graduating in 2014: a Bay Area overflowing with opportunity and equity dreams 11:00 — Following her brother into product management — and realizing it wasn't right 11:40 — Quarter-life crisis at year two: the moment she knew something had to change 12:40 — Designing Your Life — the book that opened a new door 13:50 — Joining BetterUp and discovering what coaching actually was 14:55 — The question Malaika asks clients who are rewarded for hustle 16:00 — "My only value is that I work hard" — and why coaching helped her see beyond it 17:00 — The decision to leave BetterUp and what came next 18:30 — The gift box business detour — and the important lesson it taught 20:25 — The sunk cost trap: why people stay on the wrong path long after they know better 23:40 — Selling yourself vs. selling a product: the vulnerability of a coaching business 24:35 — "I don't really care if you work with me. I care that you work on yourself." 28:45 — The power of silence — and celebration — in a coaching session 32:00 — Learning to trust your instincts and why being wrong can still be useful 37:30 — What every client ultimately wants at their core 39:50 — Managing both younger and older employees at BetterUp 41:10 — The Gen Z employee who floored Malaika with an unexpected kind of maturity 43:00 — Age does not equal wisdom — a lesson that changed how Malaika leads 46:45 — "I've been talking to ChatGPT all morning and I need to talk to a human" 48:00 — Tess on AI: the real hope, the real fear, and what's actually at stake 54:15 — The first question to ask when you've done everything right and it still feels off 55:00 — The 75-year-old exercise: what do you want your life to have been about? 57:00 — How to connect with Malaika + closing thoughts Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 58: How to Give Gen Z Employees Feedback That Actually Lands | 29 avr. 2026 | 00:23:27 | |
You gave the feedback carefully. You were constructive. You even thought through every word. And they still shut down. If you're a manager or HR leader wondering why feedback conversations keep going sideways, this episode is the one you've been waiting for. Tess Brigham breaks down the neuroscience of why feedback feels like a threat, why Gen Z is particularly activated by it (hint: it makes complete psychological sense), and why the feedback models most leaders were trained on were built for a different era. You'll walk away with a completely different understanding of what's happening in that room and three concrete shifts you can make starting with your very next conversation.
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS 00:00 — The feedback conversation that went sideways — and the question every manager has 01:00 — "Can't they just take feedback like an adult?" — naming what nobody says out loud 01:45 — The neuroscience: why feedback is a threat, not just information 02:27 — The SCARF model: the five domains your brain monitors for safety 03:30 — What a single feedback conversation triggers simultaneously in the brain 04:45 — Why this hits Gen Z harder — and why it's not about fragility 05:30 — How social media turned their adolescence into a constant performance evaluation 06:15 — Graduating into a pandemic: what Gen Z never got from their first jobs 07:00 — When criticism lands as a verdict, not information 07:45 — A real client story: the five-minute feedback that caused four days of dread 09:00 — Why the old feedback playbook is quietly breaking down 09:28 — The broken assumptions behind the feedback sandwich and annual reviews 11:00 — Three shifts to make starting with your next conversation 11:15 — Shift 1: Establish safety before you say anything critical 13:00 — Shift 2: Separate behavior from identity — out loud, every single time 14:30 — Shift 3: Give them time and space to process before expecting a response 16:20 — Why "closing" a feedback conversation is the wrong instinct 17:30 — The fourth shift: check your own nervous system before you walk in 19:00 — Why walking in frustrated defeats the entire conversation 20:00 — The bottom line: what managers who are getting this right actually understand 21:00 — Free resources: the Gen Z Playbook + related episodes Download Tess's free Gen Z Playbook at TessBrigham.com. Episode 52 (Why Gen Z Keeps Asking Questions at Work) Episode 47 (The Manager Effect | Why Your Boss Impacts Your Mental Health More Than You Think with Ashley Herd) Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 57: AI in the Workplace - Will AI Replace Jobs? with Erin Turnmeyer | 22 avr. 2026 | 00:45:08 | |
Is AI really replacing jobs, or are we misunderstanding AI's role at work? In this episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham sits down with People Operations executive Erin Turnmeyer to break down what leaders, employees, and organizations are getting wrong about AI in the workplace. With 15+ years of experience building talent systems, including time at the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, Erin brings a data-driven perspective on how AI, automation, and analytics are reshaping work. 💡 In this episode, we cover:
If you’ve been feeling anxious, confused, or curious about AI, this conversation will help you rethink what’s actually happening—and how to adapt without fear. Whether you’re a leader, job seeker, or just trying to keep up with the future of work, this episode will give you clarity and practical takeaways. Timestamps 00:00 – Intro: “Fixing the mess vs living in it” 00:42 – Meet Erin Turnmeyer (People Ops + AI perspective) 01:05 – From chem bio weapons analyst → HR leader 03:10 – What people get wrong about AI at work 04:00 – “AI is a force multiplier, not a replacement” 05:00 – Fear-based headlines & why they’re misleading 06:00 – Why fear blocks people from learning AI 07:30 – How companies fail at AI adoption 08:15 – Real example: teaching AI internally at work 09:30 – What AI should NOT replace (human touchpoints) 10:30 – What to automate vs keep human 11:10 – Why AI resume screening is flawed 13:00 – Smart ways to use AI in recruiting (without bias) 15:00 – Removing “administrative weight” from work 16:00 – Will AI lead to layoffs—or growth? 17:00 – The real opportunity: 20% more strategic thinking 18:10 – Why companies must allow time to learn AI 19:20 – Advice for early-career professionals 20:00 – Using AI as a daily learning coach 21:30 – Don’t outsource your thinking 23:00 – Could AI finally deliver work-life balance? 24:00 – The 4-day workweek conversation 25:00 – Real-world AI use cases (healthcare, systems, etc.) 26:00 – What happens to jobs AI can fully replace? 27:00 – What actually gets someone hired today 28:00 – Why AI-generated resumes are hurting candidates 30:00 – How to use AI correctly for resumes 32:00 – Training AI to sound like you 34:00 – Spotting AI-generated applications instantly 35:00 – How young professionals can “train” AI on themselves 37:00 – Using AI as a thinking partner (not a cheerleader) 38:00 – Trust but verify: why sources matter 40:00 – First step: how to start using AI today 41:00 – Unexpected tip: use AI for shopping decisions 43:00 – Final thoughts + where to find Erin Connect with Tess at tessbrigham.com Subscribe to Erin's Substack, AI for Human Operators, at hrai.substack.com Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 56: Why Work Feels So Personal (Part 2) Early Career Stress: What Young Professionals Are Really Experiencing | 15 avr. 2026 | 00:09:33 | |
No one really warns you how psychologically hard early career can be. You learn how to write a resume, interview, and get hired, but almost no one explains what it feels like once you’re inside the workplace. You're being evaluated constantly, questioning yourself, guessing the rules, and trying to build confidence without experience. In this episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham explains why the beginning of your career can feel so mentally intense, and why that experience is often misunderstood. She breaks down the psychological weight of uncertainty, self-doubt, comparison, unclear expectations, and why many young professionals incorrectly assume they are the problem when they are often responding normally to a demanding environment. Tess also addresses something leaders need to hear clearly: being early career does not mean someone should tolerate unhealthy behavior, poor emotional regulation, or unclear leadership. This is Part 2 of Tess’s solo series on the psychology of work and why younger employees need more clarity, not more criticism. Chapter Timestamps
Be sure to subscribe so you never miss a weekly episode. To learn more, or to Shop available resources, visit tessbrigham.com Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 55: 3 Ways to Take Back Your Morning Routine with Movement, Mindfulness, and Mastery with Amy Landino | 08 avr. 2026 | 00:52:02 | |
Think you're not a morning person? Think again. This week, Tess sits down with Amy Landino, bestselling author, content creator, and founder of Vlog Boss Studios. Together, they blow up everything you think you know about morning routines, productivity, and what it actually means to start your day on your own terms. Amy's newly expanded book, Good Morning, Good Life, isn't about waking up at 5am or turning your morning into an Instagram aesthetic. It's about reclaiming ownership of your day before the world gets a vote, and her simple three-bucket framework (Movement, Mindfulness, and Mastery) makes that possible for anyone, in any season of life. Tess and Amy also get into the messy generational stuff: why Millennials were conditioned to believe "work harder" was always the answer, why a six-figure business might actually be the wrong goal, and the moment Amy told her dad she'd already made $90K that year and watched him go completely speechless. In this episode:
Amy Landino's book Good Morning, Good Life is available now. DM Amy on Instagram @AmyLandino the word "Tess" to receive her free Extraordinary Action Framework. 00:00 — Welcome & Amy Landino introduction 01:00 — Amy's origin story: moving out at 18 and the "there's gotta be a better way" mindset 04:00 — The wedding video that started everything — and how YouTube changed her life 07:00 — What people get wrong about morning routines (hint: Instagram flex culture) 09:30 — Checking email vs. checking your goals: offense vs. defense 12:00 — Why you apologize for not replying fast enough — and why you need to stop 13:15 — Is Good Morning, Good Life the Gen Z version of Miracle Morning? Tess makes the case 16:45 — The three-bucket framework: Movement, Mindfulness & Mastery 19:20 — Tess's morning confession: sitting with her dogs, and finally giving herself permission 21:00 — "I'm not a morning person" — the #1 objection, completely reframed 24:00 — "But I have kids" — excuse #2, and Amy's surprisingly honest answer 28:45 — The Extraordinary Action Framework: DM Amy on Instagram to get it free 29:20 — Self-compassion + accountability: why they're not opposites 33:45 — Screw "realistic" — why shooting for the unrealistic actually makes sense 34:45 — Hot take: Why Amy tells clients with six-figure businesses to just go get a job 40:00 — Generational spotlight: Millennials as the internet's guinea pigs 42:30 — Student loans, the housing market, and what Millennials actually inherited 47:20 — Boomer advice vs. Millennial reality — a tension that's very, very real 48:00 — The $90K moment: Amy's dad, and why the people who love you don't always know what's possible for you SUBSCRIBE to The Gen Mess with Tess podcast for weekly insights on workplace culture, generational challenges, and relationship advice. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 54: Why Work Feels So Personal (Part 1) The Psychology Behind Stress, Feedback, and Gen Z at Work | 01 avr. 2026 | 00:10:36 | |
Why does one vague comment from your boss stay in your head all day? Why does being left off a meeting invite suddenly feel personal? Why can work feel emotionally exhausting even when you’re technically “doing fine”? In this episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham explains why work is never just about tasks, productivity, or performance—it’s psychological. From feedback and comparison to belonging, safety, and identity, Tess breaks down what’s happening beneath the surface when work stress feels bigger than the moment itself. She also explains why so many leaders misread performance issues that are actually clarity issues, communication issues, or nervous-system responses. If you’ve ever replayed a Slack message, questioned yourself after feedback, or wondered why Gen Z seems to experience work differently, this episode explains why. This is part 1 of a 2-part solo series on the emotional reality of work, leadership, and what younger employees are actually experiencing in today’s workplace. Part 2 will be published next week. Chapter Timestamps 00:00 Why work is more psychological than most people realize 01:10 Why your brain treats work stress like threat 02:20 Why vague feedback feels personal 03:15 Work, identity, and self-worth 04:10 Why comparison intensifies workplace anxiety 04:45 What leaders misunderstand about Gen Z retention 06:00 Why Gen Z isn’t “too sensitive” 07:10 Communication problems are often anxiety problems 08:05 Why retention is a mental health issue 09:00 The key question leaders should ask instead visit tessbrigham.com to learn more Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 53: How High Achievers Burn Out Twice: Stress, Joy at Work, and What Leaders Still Get Wrong with Amy Leneker | 25 mars 2026 | 00:53:34 | |
In Episode 53 of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham sits down with Amy Leneker, founder and CEO of the Center for Joyful Work, to explore why burnout keeps happening even to highly successful leaders who know better. Amy has helped more than 100,000 leaders and teams, including Fortune 100 companies, rethink leadership, workplace stress, and employee well-being. A former public policy executive and recovering workaholic, Amy shares how burning out twice forced her to confront the internal patterns that kept driving overwork, achievement, and chronic stress. Together, Tess and Amy unpack why burnout is not simply about workload; it is often tied to identity, workplace systems, leadership culture, and the stories people tell themselves about success. This conversation explores:
Amy also shares findings from her national workforce research showing that employees increasingly need joy at work to perform well, yet many leaders still operate inside systems that reward exhaustion instead of sustainability. For HR leaders, managers, and executives, this episode offers a practical framework for understanding employee burnout, generational tension, workplace stress, leadership development, and what healthy ambition may need to look like next. If your organization is asking why employees are disengaged, overwhelmed, or pulling back from leadership, this conversation explains what may be underneath it. 00:00 – Why Amy Leneker Burned Out Twice 02:14 – The Stress Story High Achievers Carry 04:12 – Why Leadership Still Rewards Burnout 06:45 – Why Joy Belongs in the Future of Leadership 08:21 – Gen Z, Stress, and New Definitions of Work 11:52 – Are Younger Workers Redefining Ambition? 16:15 – The Three Conditions That Create Joy at Work 20:23 – Why Gen Z Needs Appreciation More Than Leaders Think 25:36 – The Exercise That Changed Amy’s Career 31:13 – Parenting, Leadership, and Invisible Overwork 35:01 – Why Workplace Systems Keep Breaking People 40:13 – AI, Critical Thinking, and the Future of Work Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 52: Why Gen Z Keeps Asking Questions at Work | 18 mars 2026 | 00:15:35 | |
In Episode 52 of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess explores one of the most misunderstood workplace dynamics right now: why younger employees keep asking for transparency, and why many leaders misread that as entitlement. While transparency is often described as a Gen Z workplace preference, Tess argues it is something much deeper: a psychological response to growing up in a world where trust has become increasingly fragile. From financial instability and public institutional failures to social media fabrication, layoffs over Zoom, and the rise of AI, younger workers have developed a sharper need to understand what is real, what is changing, and what leaders are not saying. In this episode, Tess explains why transparency is no longer just a communication style. and is now the foundation of trust in modern organizations.
For HR leaders and managers, this episode offers a practical lens on why communication gaps create disengagement — and why explaining reality clearly may be one of the most powerful leadership tools available today. Because in today’s workplace, transparency is not a bonus. It is how trust gets built. 00:00 – Why Transparency Keeps Coming Up in Every Workplace Conversation 02:20 – Why Gen Z Grew Up Distrusting Systems 04:38 – What the Brain Does When Information Is Missing 06:15 – Why Transparency Matters More Than Perfection 07:04 – A CEO’s Silence During Uncertainty 08:45 – How Honesty Calms the Nervous System 09:26 – Why Motivation Drops When Trust Is Unclear 10:45 – Transparency vs Oversharing 11:46 – Why Every Generation Needs More Clarity 13:10 – The Leadership Advantage of Honest Communication 14:04 – Final Takeaway: Transparency Rebuilds Trust Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 51: Why Fast Growth Breaks Company Culture | 11 mars 2026 | 00:59:10 | |
In Episode 51 of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess is joined by Corrine Ishio, founder of My Working Soul, to explore a challenge many fast-growing companies face but rarely talk about: scaling the business faster than the culture can keep up. When organizations grow quickly, hiring often becomes reactive. Leaders focus on roles and results, while the human side of the company quietly gets lost. The result? Misalignment, disengagement, and teams that no longer feel connected to the mission that once energized them. Corrine shares her perspective from years working in talent, recruiting, and HR; helping founders and leadership teams rethink how they hire, communicate, and define culture during periods of rapid growth. In this conversation, Tess and Corrine explore:
They also discuss how leaders can create healthier workplaces by focusing less on rigid definitions of culture and more on communication, self-awareness, and intentional hiring. Because when companies grow quickly, it’s easy to forget the most important part of any organization: the humans building it. Chapters (Timestamps) 00:00 – Introduction to Corrine Ishio & My Working Soul 01:05 – Corrine’s Path Into HR & Human-Centered Work 04:00 – What HR Actually Does (vs. what people think it does) 07:00 – Why HR Often Feels Stuck Between Employees & Companies 11:00 – The “Human” Lens Inside Business Operations 13:00 – The Meaning Behind “My Working Soul” 17:00 – Why Culture Breaks When Companies Grow Quickly 20:30 – What a Healthy Workplace Actually Looks Like 23:00 – Communication Differences Across Generations 29:30 – Why Younger Workers Are Often Misunderstood 34:30 – Purpose, Work, and the AI Era 38:30 – Are Younger Employees Harder to Manage? 43:00 – Millennials, Social Media, and Cultural Fragmentation 49:00 – Safety, Identity, and the Digital Workplace Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 50: Let Go of the Outcome | 04 mars 2026 | 00:18:50 | |
In Episode 50 of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess explores a dynamic that quietly derails high performers at every level: the moment work starts to feel like a test. When every meeting feels evaluative and every decision feels like it determines your worth, anxiety rises, and performance often drops. Tess unpacks why this happens and why the solution isn’t caring less, but redefining what actually belongs to you. Drawing from her clinical work with emerging leaders, she breaks down:
From a first-time manager learning to lead without control, to unexpected lessons from Olympic figure skating and competitive design, Tess illustrates one central truth: Your job is the effort. The outcome was never yours to manage. For HR leaders and executives, this episode is also a leadership lens. When organizations unintentionally create constant evaluation environments, employees tighten up — and innovation suffers. If you’re navigating pressure, perfectionism, or performance anxiety — this episode will help you rethink control and reconnect with your best work. 00:00 – Welcome: When Work Starts to Feel Like a Test 02:00 – Why Anxiety Increases When Outcomes Feel Personal 04:30 – What “Letting Go of the Outcome” Actually Means 06:00 – Effort vs. Approval: The Critical Distinction 07:30 – Case Study: Brittany’s Transition to Management 11:00 – The Office Hours Experiment 13:30 – Changing Your Relationship to Response 15:30 – Performance Pressure & Young Professionals 18:00 – The Gen Z Metrics Trap 21:00 – Why Measured Lives Create Outcome Attachment 23:30 – Flow State & Releasing Control 26:00 – Care Deeply About What’s Yours 28:30 – Final Reflection: Own the Effort, Release the Rest Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 49: AI Anxiety in the Workplace & The Future of Talent with Trent Cotton | 25 févr. 2026 | 00:50:49 | |
Tess sits down with Trent Cotton - self-described “non-HR HR executive,” author of Sprint Recruiting and High Performance Recruiting, and Head of Talent Insights at iCIMS. Discussing the nuanced conversation about what the data tells us about AI, generational skepticism from Gen Z to Boomers, and what leaders are getting wrong about the future of work, including:
This is not a hype conversation about AI. It’s a grounded discussion about leadership responsibility, workforce redesign, emotional regulation, and the long-term talent implications organizations must prepare for now. If you’re an HR leader, executive, or people strategist navigating uncertainty around automation, layoffs, bias, and generational tension — this episode offers clarity without panic. Because the future of work isn’t just technological. It’s psychological. 00:00 – Welcome + Meet Trent Cotton The “non-HR HR executive” and why business fluency matters in people strategy. 04:20 – Data vs. Humanity: Where Leaders Get It Wrong Why hiding behind numbers erodes trust — and how to use data to deepen conversations. 11:20 – AI Anxiety: Survival Instinct or Rational Fear? Why resistance to AI may be more about control than job loss. 14:50 – The Early Career Crisis No One Is Talking About The danger of automating entry-level roles too quickly. 21:00 – Is AI Replacing Human Connection? Attachment to tech, loss of discomfort, and emotional consequences. 29:00 – How to Actually Use AI Without Losing Your Voice Practical examples of human-AI collaboration. 38:45 – What the Data Says About Generations & AI Why Gen Z may be more skeptical than you think. 43:05 – The New Power Skills: Agency & Orchestration What leaders should be developing now. 48:05 – AI, Disability & Expanding Human Capability Where technology can increase access and inclusion. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 48: When Your Boss Isn’t Safe | How to Protect Yourself Without Quitting | 18 févr. 2026 | 00:26:06 | |
In Episode 49 of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess tackles a reality many professionals experience but rarely have language for: what to do when your manager does not create psychological safety and you cannot simply walk away. Drawing on the research of Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson, who coined the term psychological safety, Tess breaks down the difference between discomfort and harm, high standards and humiliation, resilience and self-abandonment. This episode explores:
For HR leaders and executives, this episode is also a mirror. Psychological safety is not about lowering performance expectations, it is about creating conditions where people can meet high standards without fear. Whether you are managing up, supporting emerging professionals, or building healthier leadership pipelines, Tess offers practical insight into how psychological safety shapes retention, burnout, and long-term performance. 00:00 – Opening: Living in the Mess 01:00 – The Reality of Unsafe Managers 02:24 – “Paying Your Dues” and Toxic Normalization 04:45 – Defining Psychological Safety 07:07 – What Psychological Safety Is (and Isn’t) 09:28 – Your Nervous System at Work 11:52 – Generational Patterns: Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X 14:18 – Strategy #1: Containment (Observe, Don’t Absorb) 16:05 – Strategy #2: Clarity in Writing 17:45 – Strategy #3: Borrow Safety Elsewhere 19:03 – Strategy #4: Emotional Boundaries 20:30 – Strategy #5: Identity Protection & Your “Reality File” 21:23 – Discomfort vs. Harm 23:00 – Adapt, Escalate, or Exit? 24:45 – Psychological Safety Is Not Entitlement Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 47: The Manager Effect | Why Your Boss Impacts Your Mental Health More Than You Think with Ashley Herd | 11 févr. 2026 | 00:46:32 | |
In this episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess is joined by Ashley Herd, founder and CEO of The Manager Method, employment attorney, former HR leader at McKinsey & Company and Yum Brands, co-host of the HR Besties podcast, and author of the newly released book The Manager Method: A Practical Framework to Lead, Support, and Get Results. Ashley brings a rare, inside view of management from every angle - frontline work, legal risk, HR leadership, and executive training - to unpack why managers have an outsized impact on employee mental health, engagement, and retention. Drawing on research showing that a manager can influence wellbeing as much as a spouse, Tess and Ashley explore how leadership behavior ripples far beyond performance metrics and into people’s lives at home. This conversation tackles the realities facing modern managers: promotion without training, identity loss when high performers become leaders, generational misunderstandings, and the crushing pressure placed on middle managers. Together, they offer practical, human-centered strategies for leading effectively without burning people out, including Ashley’s core framework: Pause, Consider, Act. This episode is essential listening for HR professionals, people managers, and executives responsible for building sustainable leadership pipelines and healthier workplace cultures in 2026 and beyond. Be sure to subscribe to The Gen Mess with Tess podcast for new episodes weekly. 00:01 – Welcome & Introducing Ashley Herd 02:02 – From employment attorney to leadership educator 03:29 – Why great individual contributors often struggle as managers 05:31 – Promotion myths and the cost of untrained leadership 07:59 – Identity loss when high performers become managers 10:06 – The “LinkedIn test” and chasing titles over fit 12:19 – Why work identity is so powerful (especially in the U.S.) 16:05 – Middle managers: too much responsibility, too little support 18:58 – Why one-on-ones still matter at every leadership level 21:33 – The data: managers impact mental health as much as spouses 24:20 – How leadership stress follows people home 27:58 – Generations at work: framework, not stereotypes 32:23 – Technology, boundaries, and modern burnout 38:22 – Overcorrection, distrust, and workplace isolation 41:16 – One shift every manager can make today: Pause, Consider, Act 44:33 – Ashley’s book, resources, and closing reflections Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 46: The Cost of High Achievement: Burnout, Identity, and Leadership Transitions with Jenny Calcoen | 04 févr. 2026 | 00:44:12 | |
On this episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess is joined by Jenny Calcoen, CEO and founder of Inner Earthquake LLC, former executive, and private coach to high-achieving women navigating burnout, grief, and major life transitions. Jenny shares her own “inner earthquake” - the moment when outward success no longer matched inner truth - and how a life-altering diagnosis forced her to confront the cost of living according to expectations rather than values. Together, Tess and Jenny explore what happens when achievement masks disconnection, why burnout is often an identity crisis rather than a workload problem, and how leaders can recognize the early cracks before they become breaking points. This conversation offers powerful insights for HR leaders, executives, and people managers navigating retention challenges, disengagement, and leadership fatigue. It reframes burnout not as a failure of resilience, but as a signal that both personal and organizational systems are misaligned. If you’re responsible for developing leaders, shaping culture, or supporting high performers who look “fine” on paper but feel depleted inside, this episode offers a crucial lens for understanding what’s really happening beneath the surface. Resource by Jenny Calcoen: "The Boundary Whisperer" is available as a translation tool for internal signals, or for people who know something is off but don't quite have the language yet so they can simply practice boundary literacy. Here it is - https://chatgpt.com/g/g-688fdd4aa33c8191b5503765ba20cee8-the-boundary-whisperer 00:01 – Welcome to The Gen Mess with Tess 00:52 – Jenny Calcoen’s story: success, identity, and the first “inner earthquake” 01:32 – When illness becomes a wake-up call 02:38 – Rebuilding life… while unknowingly repeating old patterns 04:30 – Burnout as an identity crisis, not a performance issue 06:45 – Why high achievers ignore early warning signs 09:10 – The danger of living by expectations instead of values 11:40 – What leaders misunderstand about burnout and resilience 14:20 – How HR and managers can spot “quiet breaking points” 17:10 – Supporting transitions without pathologizing employees 20:00 – Redefining success in leadership and work 22:40 – Final reflections: listening before the earthquake hits Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 45: Why Discomfort Is a Missing Skill in Today’s Workplace | 28 janv. 2026 | 00:16:32 | |
In this solo episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham explores a surprising social experiment that connected strangers across political divides and why it offers a powerful lesson for today’s leaders in the workplace. Drawing from her background as a therapist and her coaching work with organizations, Tess unpacks what HR leaders and managers are experiencing in 2026: burnout that isn’t driven by workload or flexibility, but by chronic psychological strain, emotional role overload, and an increasing inability to tolerate discomfort. Using the “Party Line” experiment as a metaphor, Tess examines how algorithm-driven culture has reshaped our nervous systems, intensified polarization, and made everyday workplace conversations feel high-stakes and unsafe. She breaks down how different generations experience discomfort at work, why psychological safety is often misunderstood, and how avoiding discomfort quietly erodes trust, collaboration, and culture. This episode reframes discomfort not as a failure of leadership, but as a critical skill organizations must relearn if they want healthy teams, resilient managers, and sustainable workplace cultures. 00:01 — Welcome to The Gen Mess with Tess Introducing the episode and the theme of learning to live in the mess. 00:58 — The “Party Line” Social Experiment Explained Two payphones, two cities, and a radical idea: conversation without algorithms. 02:21 — Why Human Connection Changes the Nervous System Dopamine, cortisol, and why constant conflict keeps us dysregulated. 03:42 — It’s Hard to Demonize a Human Voice What happens when stereotypes are replaced with real conversation. 04:42 — What We’ve Lost Culturally Discomfort avoidance, algorithm-driven identity, and polarization. 06:05 — When Beliefs Become Identity Why disagreement now feels like danger instead of difference. 06:56 — Connection Requires Discomfort Why real connection—socially and at work—has always been uncomfortable. 08:19 — Why Shaming Hardens People The psychological cost of humiliation, judgment, and moral certainty. 08:49 — The Workplace Parallel Why the “Party Line” is a metaphor for modern workplace culture. 09:16 — Generational Relationships to Discomfort Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z, and how each navigates stress and challenge. 11:36 — Discomfort vs. Harm Why discomfort is often misinterpreted as trauma or boundary violation. 12:34 — Nervous Systems, Not Moral Failures Reframing generational conflict at work. 12:34 — The Leadership Skill We Avoid Curiosity, repair, and staying in the conversation. 14:18 — Discomfort as Leadership Work Why these “soft skills” are actually advanced leadership competencies. 14:48 — Final Reflection Discomfort as the doorway to healthier workplaces and human connection. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 44: The Real Reason HR, Managers, and Employees Are Exhausted | 21 janv. 2026 | 00:17:16 | |
In this solo episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham addresses a question she hears from HR leaders, managers, and employees alike: Why does work feel so heavy right now, even when things look better on paper? Drawing from her background as a therapist and her work with organizations, Tess explains the challenges HR leaders are facing in 2026: burnout is no longer just about workload or flexibility, but about chronic psychological strain shaped by generational experiences, unclear expectations, and emotional role overload. She breaks down how burnout shows up differently for Millennials, Gen Z, and Gen X, how remote and hybrid work have changed trust, communication, and boundaries, and why managers and HR leaders are often carrying emotional responsibilities they were never trained for. This episode reframes burnout as a human, nervous-system issue - not a performance failure - and offers business leaders a clearer way to think about empathy, accountability, psychological safety, and sustainable workplace culture. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 43: Going No Contact | Acknowledgement, Repair, and the Generational Divide We Keep Missing | 14 janv. 2026 | 00:21:09 | |
In this solo episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham unpacks one of the most emotionally charged conversations happening right now: adult children going no contact with a parent. Drawing from her work as a therapist and her own lived experience, Tess challenges the oversimplified narratives dominating social media and reframes "no contact" not as a trend, punishment, or failure, but as a response to long-standing emotional disconnection and a lack of acknowledgement. This episode explores the generational divide shaping these conversations, why intent does not erase impact, and why emotional safety, accountability, and repair matter more than endurance or tradition. Tess also shares a deeply personal story about her relationship with her father, illustrating how acknowledgement - not perfection - creates the possibility for healing. For leaders, HR professionals, and parents alike, this episode offers a powerful reminder: relationships break down not because people are “too emotional,” but because discomfort is avoided instead of addressed. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 42: Gen Mess Reflections: Surviving Change, Loss, and Family Shifts Across Generations | 31 déc. 2025 | 00:20:35 | |
What if the person giving you life advice is, behind the scenes, completely falling apart? In this deeply moving solo episode of Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham pulls back the curtain, sharing the raw, unfiltered story of a year that shook the very foundations of her life. From the staggering loss of her father to the painful journey of caring for her mother as dementia set in, Tess Brigham—the certified coach and licensed therapist—describes what happens when every piece of her own identity is "activated in crisis mode." Far from the highlight reels and inspirational soundbites, this episode reveals the messy, complicated realities even therapists and coaches face. Tess Brigham explores generational differences in dealing with grief, mental health, self-reliance, and asking for help—drawing wisdom (and exposing blind spots) from Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z. She reflects on the exhausting duality of caring for aging parents while supporting her own child through mental health struggles, and how real-life heartbreak changed her perspective as both a professional and a human being. Key highlights include:
This solo episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating family caregiving, loss, or simply questioning how we all handle life's hardest seasons. Episode Overview 00:00 – Intro Announcer sets up the show's generational lens 00:31 – Tess Brigham addresses why sharing her own story matters 03:02 – Navigating simultaneous personal crises: parental loss, caregiving, and self-identity 06:33 – The unique grief of losing a parent's mind versus a parent's body 08:40 – Generational patterns: independence, vulnerability, and the cost of stoicism 11:32 – Tess Brigham on what Millennials and Gen Z are teaching the rest of us 13:05 – The realities of “functioning” through grief and anticipatory loss 17:17 – Each generation’s wisdom, and what Tess Brigham plans to carry—and leave behind 20:35 – A gentle call to "hang tough" in a way that honors both strength and softness Ready to feel seen and understood in the messiest moments of life? Hit play and join the conversation. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 41: From PR Glam to Career Jam: Storytelling Your Way Out of the Void | 24 déc. 2025 | 00:48:39 | |
What if finding your dream job actually takes a year—or even longer? In this eye-opening episode of "Gen Mess with Tess," host Tess Brigham sits down with career strategist Liz Helton to pull back the curtain on the realities of job searching and career transformation in today's ever-evolving workforce. If you've ever wondered why sending off hundreds of applications can feel like shouting into a void, this episode will reveal why—and most importantly, what you can do about it. Together, Tess Brigham and Liz Helton dig into:
You’ll learn practical tips for standing out in a crowded applicant pool, making LinkedIn work for you, and reframing both rejection and uncertainty as essential steps toward meaningful work. Plus, Liz Helton shares her own journey from PR exec to career consultant, and why sometimes your superpower is that thing that feels as natural as breathing. If you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure about your next step—no matter your age—this heartfelt, actionable episode is for you. Episode Overview with Timestamps:
Tune in to discover why you’re not alone in your career mess—and how you can thrive in it. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 40: Golden Handcuffs & Gut Checks: Escaping the Career Carousel | 17 déc. 2025 | 00:46:42 | |
What if the brutal truth is that your corporate job is more likely to slowly kill you with stress than set you up for a dream retirement? In this episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham sits down with powerhouse business mentor, international speaker, and award-winning author Katrena Friel for a candid and eye-opening conversation about breaking free from the golden handcuffs—and finding your true value. Katrena Friel pulls back the curtain on her own journey, from teenage jobs and personal heartbreak to a devastating $30,000 scam—a turning point that sparked her to build her own thriving training and mentoring practice. Together, she and Tess Brigham dissect why so many Gen Xers are “quietly quitting” or burning out, how younger generations are refusing to repeat the cycle of debt and overwork, and why we need to rethink the way we approach careers, money, and even family living. Key highlights include:
Loaded with tangible advice, real talk, and a bit of industry myth-busting, this episode will make you rethink everything you thought you knew about career success, purpose, and what it takes to build a legacy—on your terms. Episode Overview by Timestamp:
Tune in for an episode packed with hard truths, practical strategies, and inspiration to reinvent work and life—no matter your generation! Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 39: Law & Order: Time Management Unit | 10 déc. 2025 | 00:43:45 | |
What if the secret to building a thriving law firm wasn’t about grinding out endless billable hours—but about rethinking the entire way attorneys work and lead? In this eye-opening episode of Gen Mess With Tess, host Tess Brigham welcomes law firm growth expert Alay Yajnik for a candid conversation that shakes up everything you thought you knew about legal hustle and business success. Discover how Alay Yajnik pivoted from running multimillion-dollar Silicon Valley companies to coaching attorneys—and why most lawyers stumble when it comes to building a lasting, profitable business. You’ll learn why working harder doesn’t always mean earning more, and how breaking out of traditional law firm mindsets—from hourly billing to team management and rate setting—is the real game-changer. Key episode highlights:
Whether you lead a law firm, run a small business, or just want to understand how generational perspectives are upending the way we work, this episode is loaded with actionable insights and relatable stories. Episode Overview:
Tune in for an episode that’s more than just law—it’s about building the future of work, one honest conversation at a time. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 38: How To Handle Difficult People at Work | 03 déc. 2025 | 00:54:43 | |
What if the only way you could escape your toxic work environment was being hit by a bus—not to die, but just to get a break? Shocking as it sounds, that’s the level of desperation bestselling author and executive coach Diana Lowe once felt, and she’s not alone. In this riveting episode of "Gen Mess with Tess," Tess Brigham pulls back the curtain on the hidden emotional toll of modern workplaces and the true meaning behind being “hard to handle.” Join Tess Brigham as she sits down with Diana Lowe—author of "Hard to Handle"—for a raw, honest conversation about surviving abusive bosses, how ‘difficult’ is just a matter of perspective, and why clinical depression became a turning point for radical career reinvention. Together, they untangle how we can learn to live in the mess of work (and life) and find purpose where others might only see crisis. Key highlights include:
If you’ve ever felt misunderstood at work, frustrated with your boss, or questioned your place in the corporate ladder—this episode will not only validate your experience but give you practical wisdom on how to lead (and live) with more awareness and empathy. Episode Overview
Don’t miss this episode’s honest, no-fluff take on surviving—and thriving—in the workplace chaos. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 37: “Emotional Availability”: Now Trending at Work and Home | 28 nov. 2025 | 00:17:22 | |
What if everything we thought was “wrong” with Gen Z was actually the outcome of generations striving to do better for their children? In this solo episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham turns the tables on common complaints about today’s youth and boldly reveals how every “mess” in the workplace and at home is really generational evolution in real time—and a sign of remarkable progress. Drawing deeply from her own life as a Gen Xer, therapist, and parent to a Gen Z son, Tess Brigham unpacks the hidden links between generational values, shifting parenting philosophies, and the transformation of work and life. She discusses the evolution from silent survivalists, boomers’ pursuit of success, to Gen X’s badge of independence—and how each generation has tried to heal the wounds of the last, often by swinging the pendulum in new directions. Key highlights from this episode:
By the end of the episode, you’ll see generational “mess” through a new lens—one of ongoing evolution, empathy, and hope. Timestamped Episode Overview:
Ready to witness how generational messiness is actually a story of hope and healing? Press play. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 36: Millennial Managers, Gen Z Bosses, and the Art of Playing Nice at Work | 19 nov. 2025 | 00:49:10 | |
What if you could overcome a lifelong fear—like a spider phobia—in under ten minutes? In this episode of "Gen Mess with Tess," host Tess Brigham sits down with Viki Johnston, founder of Accelerate and master practitioner of NLP (neuro linguistic programming), for a fascinating deep-dive into the secrets of learning, growth mindset, and generational shifts in the workplace. Viki reveals how she conquered her extreme fear of spiders on stage using powerful NLP techniques, sparking a new obsession with the method that now impacts her work coaching managers and teams for light bulb moments of transformation. Together, Tess Brigham and Viki Johnston break down why learning should be fun (not serious!), the dramatic differences NLP can make versus traditional therapy, and how “aha” moments propel people to lasting change. The episode unpacks what separates good managers from great leaders—hint: it’s more than delegation—and explores the unique challenges (and superpowers) that new Gen Z and millennial managers are bringing to today's workplace. From using AI and ChatGPT for instant answers to balancing remote work and real-life teamwork, Viki Johnston shares practical strategies for thriving across generations and cleaning up the “Gen Mess.” Tune in for relatable stories, actionable insights, and a fresh perspective on why letting go of old habits (and sometimes, just saying "I don't know") can be a game-changer for growth—at any stage of your career. Episode Highlights & Overview:
Whether you’re a new manager, parent, or lifelong learner, this episode will help you see challenges in a whole new way—and maybe even tackle that fear you thought would last forever. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 35: "Kids These Days": A Masterclass in Collective Complaining | 12 nov. 2025 | 00:21:36 | |
What if every time you judged a younger generation for having it "easy," you were really just grieving your own unmet dreams? In this revealing solo episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham turns the generational blame game upside down, making a powerful case that beneath every eye-roll and stereotype—Boomers are out of touch, Gen Z is fragile, Millennials are entitled—there’s a shared experience of grief. From nostalgic bitterness to deep-seated anxieties, Tess explores how each generation clings to the belief that their struggles had meaning, while often resenting the freedoms and boundaries claimed by those coming after. Drawing on pop culture examples, workplace trends, and even the existential challenge of AI, Tess dissects why the world feels so tense, how each generation is coping with constant uncertainty, and what it truly means to evolve—not just as a society, but as individuals learning to let go. In a candid reflection on her own journey and those of her clients, Tess challenges listeners to see generational progress as an invitation to heal and redefine purpose, rather than a competition over who "had it worst." Tune in for thoughtful insights, practical strategies, and an honest invitation to make peace with change—because maybe the real legacy isn’t just the pain we survived, but the wisdom we share. Episode Overview & Timestamps:
Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 34: Less Rage, More Sage: Learning from Your Feels | 05 nov. 2025 | 00:57:22 | |
What if the secret to surviving career chaos isn’t more hustle—but smarter engineering? In this eye-opening episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham sits down with systems architect and organizational consultant Belle Walker, who reveals why most companies—and leaders—are fighting the wrong fires, and how “engineering thinking” can fundamentally change how we navigate the messiest parts of work and life. Belle shares her unusual journey from a family of engineers to stage management and humanities, and ultimately, to designing scalable, human-centered organizational systems. She explains how her approach blends classic problem-solving with deep empathy—translating abstract chaos into actionable clarity. Belle and Tess dig into why the real friction in organizations isn’t just between people, but between the functions and systems behind them, and how leaders often overlook the root causes of workplace tension. Key highlights include:
Tune in to uncover actionable strategies for bridging generational gaps, managing energy, and architecting workplace solutions that really work—plus, hear Belle’s take on parenting, the myth of innate genius, and her foolproof method for separating noise from necessity. Episode Overview: 00:00 – Podcast intro & meet Belle Walker: organizational chaos vs. blueprints 00:04 – Belle’s origin story: engineering family, humanities leanings, Google, and finding the love of “building systems” 00:10 – What is engineering thinking? Problem setup vs. pure math 00:15 – Real-life chaos: Maps, autonomous vehicles, and the importance of communication 00:20 – Managing today’s workplace noise & energy budgets—satellites, commutes, and training 00:28 – Generational perspectives: Gen Z, Millennials ask for what they want, impacts on work culture 00:34 – AI’s impact on organizational jobs—pitfalls and policy mistakes 00:40 – Why leaders miss functional friction (security vs. usability, quick fixes vs. lasting change) 00:44 – Change takes time—why it always feels faster in hindsight 00:46 – Elder Millennials, COVID parenting, work-life transformations 00:52 – How to actually “clean up” the generational mess: leverage strengths, address gaps, solve the right problems 00:56 – Belle’s plug for her Friction to Function newsletter 00:57 – Tess wraps up: the power of problem-solving, empathy, and learning to live in the “mess” Ready to see your workplace (and maybe your whole life) through a new lens? Hit play and join Tess and Belle as they engineer the way out of the Gen Mess! Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 33: Generation Exhausted: Why Gen Z Opted OuT | 29 oct. 2025 | 00:22:50 | |
What if the real badge of honor isn’t how hard you work, but how well you rest? In this eye-opening solo episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham pulls back the curtain on the cultural obsession with burnout—and exposes how every generation has unwittingly contributed to making exhaustion seem like a symbol of strength. Tess traces the roots of hustle culture from Gen X’s independent “latchkey kid” mentality, through Millennials’ overachievement during the Girl Boss era, and lands on Gen Z’s radical redefinition of ambition and mental health. You’ll learn why each generation internalized burnout a little differently, why Millennials became the “burnout generation”, and how Gen Z’s refusal to conflate self-worth with overwork is shaking up workplaces everywhere. Plus, Tess opens up about her own journey to unlearn burnout and offers clarity on how we can collectively move toward a more sustainable, joyful way of living and working. Key Highlights:
Ready to question everything you’ve believed about ambition, success, and rest? Tune in and discover why taking off the burnout badge might be the most rebellious—and freeing—move you’ll ever make. Episode Overview with Timestamps: 00:00:01 – Podcast introduction and the generational divide 00:01:09 – How burnout became a badge of honor and generational differences 00:02:40 – Gen X’s origin story and attitude toward burnout 00:04:11 – Millennials, hustle culture, and the Girl Boss era 00:08:21 – Gen Z’s boundary-setting and work-life philosophy 00:11:10 – Tess’s approach to cleaning up “Gen mess” at organizations 00:12:56 – The grief and resentment beneath generational tension 00:14:19 – Gen Z’s impact on workplace culture 00:15:16 – Why exhaustion became a measure of excellence 00:16:20 – How workplaces promote burnout and reward dysfunction 00:18:55 – Steps to unlearning burnout and redefining success 00:20:58 – Closing thoughts and embracing grace over grit 00:22:19 – How to connect with Tess Brigham and continue the conversation Subscribe to Gen Mess with Tess for more insights and strategies on bridging generational gaps and building workplaces where everyone thrives! Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 32: Love is Blind and So Are We: Navigating Vulnerability in Modern Dating | 22 oct. 2025 | 00:21:52 | |
What if your quest for love is actually a quest for safety? In this eye-opening solo episode of "Gen Mess with Tess," host Tess Brigham dives deep into the messy reality behind the hit TV show Love is Blind—and reveals the uncomfortable truth: the show isn’t just a high-drama dating experiment, it's a mirror reflecting how we all perform, protect, and hide in our own relationships. Tess explores why so many of us crave genuine connection but run from vulnerability, and how the performative world of swiping, texting, and social media shapes our fears of rejection and being truly seen. She breaks down unforgettable examples from Love is Blind—from avoiding tough conversations to sabotaging intimacy—and connects these moments to universal patterns we all share. Key highlights include:
If you’ve ever caught yourself performing instead of connecting, or wondered why intimacy can feel so terrifying, Tess’s honest reflections and actionable tips will help you see your own patterns, and maybe, just maybe, get braver. Timestamped Overview:
Ready to turn the spotlight back on yourself? Hit play and start making sense of your own emotional mess! Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 31: Flex Appeal: Why Rigid Leaders Are A Dying Breed | 08 oct. 2025 | 00:50:51 | |
What if the secret to unlocking true leadership isn’t about knowing all the answers, but about learning to ask the right questions—especially across generations? In this eye-opening episode of the “Gen Mess with Tess,” host Tess Brigham sits down with powerhouse executive coach Kristi Royse, founder of KLR Consulting, to uncover the real challenges—and unexpected opportunities—leaders face in today’s rapidly shifting workplace. You might be surprised to learn that the biggest workplace problem isn’t generational conflict, but something much sneakier: ignorance and a reluctance to adapt. Tess and Kristi pull back the curtain on why leadership has changed so drastically since Kristi’s early Boston Market days—from command-and-control to flexible, empathic management. Together, they slice through stereotypes about “lazy” young workers and stubborn older bosses, revealing why every generation falls into the trap of judging the next—and how that holds companies back from monumental growth and innovation. Key highlights from this episode include:
Whether you’re a CEO, manager, or early-career professional, this episode will challenge your assumptions and equip you with practical tips to create a healthier, more connected, and future-ready workplace. Get ready to make sense of the generational “mess”... and maybe even learn to thrive in it. Timestamped Episode Overview: 00:01 – Tess introduces Kristi Royse and her extensive leadership background 01:13 – Kristi shares her origin story: from Boston Market COO to leadership consultant 02:25 – Night-and-day differences in leadership then and now 03:34 – The complex realities of leading five generations at once 06:01 – Tess and Kristi discuss fear, assumptions, and resistance to change among leaders 08:25 – Generational stereotypes: Why every young cohort gets accused of being “lazy” 09:48 – Coaching leaders to communicate and collaborate across generational divides 11:02 – The pitfalls of promoting technical stars to management without support 12:54 – Case study: Transforming engineers at Strava into people leaders 14:09 – Gen Z and the new meaning of work-life blend 15:26 – Building trust: How real conversations and vulnerability build stronger teams 18:00 – Younger vs. older generations: What key assumptions are holding us back? 20:17 – How to invest in employees—even if you fear they might leave 22:03 – Simple, actionable ways managers can support every direct report 23:27 – Overcoming resistance: Why the “it’s too much work” excuse falls flat 26:28 – Kristi on the greatest workplace struggle: ignorance and culture clashes 29:30 – Coaching, courage, and patience: The real keys to personal and company growth 40:02 – Doing meaningful work: When passion and purpose trump the paycheck 43:52 – Kristi’s positive spin: The generational “mess” is actually the best opportunity of our time 47:49 – Where to find Kristi’s work & resources for leaders ready to do better Listen in and discover how you can turn generational tension into your organization’s biggest asset! Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 30: Likes, Labels & Letting Go: The Empathy Edition with Dr. Ashok Bhattachanya | 01 oct. 2025 | 00:49:44 | |
What if the greatest barrier to your success isn’t the world outside—but the silent story you keep telling yourself inside your own head? In this compelling episode of Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham sits down with Dr. Ashok Bhattacharya, psychiatrist and founder of The Empathy Clinic, to explore why empathy isn’t just a “soft skill”—it’s the invisible glue shaping our relationships, workplaces, and personal growth. Dr. Bhattacharya reveals how early life experiences and powerful moments (sometimes as tiny as a single comment from a grade school teacher) can shape the narratives that define—and sometimes limit—us for decades. Together, Tess and Dr. Bhattacharya dig deep into how we can unravel unhelpful stories, challenge survival-mode thinking, and truly transform how we connect with ourselves and each other. They break down the real difference between empathy, compassion, and kindness, and explain why even a little bit of genuine empathy can make or break a relationship, a workplace, or even your own self-worth. Key highlights you’ll discover in this episode:
If you’re curious about how to actually practice empathy (not just talk about it), handle disagreement gracefully, or help your team, family, or yourself thrive in a messy, ever-changing world, this episode is packed with actionable wisdom and heartfelt stories. Timestamps Overview: 00:00 – Intro: The generational “mess” & Tess’s mission 00:31 – Dr. Ashok Bhattacharya’s origin story & why empathy matters 04:40 – How the stories we tell ourselves can cripple us 07:04 – Why falling down (in skating…or life) is harder to process than you think 10:16 – The amplified pressures of today’s tech-driven world for the younger generation 12:39 – Practice, failure, and shame: Why young people get “stuck” 14:40 – What empathy, compassion, and kindness actually are 16:28 – The real challenge of empathy and “getting out of your head” 19:46 – Can you be empathic with people you disagree with? 23:03 – Tess’s therapy work: The invisible ripple effect of empathy 26:57 – “Soft skills” and how small moments shape lives 31:16 – The privilege of being “with” someone as a therapist 32:37 – Why bridging generational divides requires empathy 34:59 – How generations value and practice empathy differently 39:08 – Practical steps for leaders and teams to actively use empathy 42:07 – Why “a little empathy goes a long way” in the workplace 44:08 – Empathy as a proactive force for productivity and trust 45:54 – Where to find Dr. Bhattacharya + his books on empathy and burnout 48:33 – The secret power of reciprocal empathy in couples 49:13 – Outro: Embracing the mess and learning to live in it Listen in—and discover how empathy isn’t a luxury. It’s your greatest tool for navigating the messiness of modern life. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 29: Gen X vs. Gen Z: The Great Work-Life Smackdown | 24 sept. 2025 | 00:48:43 | |
What if the American Dream your parents promised you was nothing but a myth? What if the payoff for all your hard work simply… never arrives? In this eye-opening episode of the Gen Mess with Tess, host Tess Brigham sits down with writer, podcaster, and former writing professor Amye Archer to pull back the curtain on generational work myths, shifting values, and what’s really happening as Gen Xers raise Gen Z kids in a world that looks nothing like the one they inherited. Key Highlights:
Whether you’re wondering how to deal with your Gen Z coworkers, trying to understand your kids, or facing your own career pivot, this episode is a must-listen for anyone ready to finally make sense of the generational mess—and maybe even be inspired by it. Episode Overview: 00:00 – Introductions & Pop Culture Blindspots: Gen X vs Gen Z 01:16 – Work, Creativity & Gen X Disillusionment 04:09 – Gen Z’s Bargaining Power at Work 06:06 – Parenting Styles Then and Now 10:56 – Mental Health, Communication & Anxiety in Kids 11:20 – Building a Podcast Career Outside the Traditional Path 12:52 – How Writing, Creativity, & Therapy Fuel Podcasting 15:00 – Why Amye Started Little Miss Recap & Murder She Watched 16:13 – Leaving Academia and Lessons from Career Pivots 18:27 – Working With a Spouse in the Podcasting World 19:33 – Surprises in Raising Gen Z Daughters 23:42 – Gen Z, World Issues & Climate Anxiety 25:23 – Gen Z and Money, Work-Life Balance, and Defining Success 26:58 – Gen X, Boomers, and the Vanishing American Dream 29:14 – Advice Gaps: Why “Old” Solutions Don’t Fit New Problems 31:09 – Why Professors (and Managers) Are Burned Out 33:27 – What Gen Z Has Taught Gen X About Self-Respect and Boundaries 35:25 – Parental Concerns: Coddling vs. Independence 38:39 – The Importance of Modeling and Letting Kids Fail 40:13 – Advice for Managing Gen Z at Work 41:58 – Why Work Should Focus on Output, Not Hours 43:11 – The Need for Personal Connection in the Modern Workplace 45:14 – Wrapping Up & Amye’s Podcast Plugs Press play to discover how to stop fixing the mess—and start living in it. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ep 28: HR: Not Just Birthday Cakes and Candy – A Real Talk with Jessica Holst | 17 sept. 2025 | 01:00:32 | |
What if the secret to skyrocketing your company’s profits isn’t better tech, but happier employees? In this episode of Gen Mess With Tess, host Tess Brigham sits down with powerhouse people & culture leader Jessica Holst (SpaceX, CAA, Mattel, Verve) to pull back the curtain on why traditional HR practices—and even today’s obsession with AI—are missing the real leverage point for business success: the emotional well-being and engagement of your team. Jessica reveals why most companies are completely underestimating how much empowering employees (instead of controlling them) transforms productivity, innovation, and the bottom line. Through compelling stories from Hollywood’s notorious agency world to surprising data on what actually drives performance, Jessica and Tess dive into:
If you’re a business owner, manager, future leader, or anyone struggling with workplace “mess”—don’t miss this deep, frank, and refreshingly actionable conversation. You’ll walk away with new strategies (and maybe a few hard truths) for bridging generational divides, unlocking creativity, and making your company a magnet for talent. Episode Overview
Tune in for an episode that just might change the way you think about work—and how to make it work better, for everyone. Follow for weekly episodes, and be sure to visit tessbrigham.com to learn more about Tess's work as a licensed therapist and certified coach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||