People-pleasing begins very early. It's based on our innate desire for approval as children. It can also be observed in others, such as our parents, and learned through misguided understandings of religious dogma.

Now, imagine treating as a superpower to deal with internalized trauma.it

If left unchecked, it can be embraced as an identity that negatively impacts how we show up and who we show up as in our relationships, platonic, romantic, professional, and otherwise.

Based on the article, Built to Endure, Not to Last

Subscribe to my Substack at: https://ericleonpayne.substack.com

Buy me a cup of coffee here: https://buymeacoffee.com/ericleonpayne

If I could time travel, I wouldn't play the stock market. I'd show up at my high school locker to confront my former self. To comfort him. To warn him.

I honestly would not.

We often torture ourselves in the present for something we didn’t know or have the capacity to do differently in the past.

I know I have, and I wasted a lot of time doing it.

Even if you willingly went into a situation “wrong and strong” you were operating based on the knowledge and tools (or lack thereof) that you had available to you then.

Time, experience, and failures often wisen us up. Then we take what we learn and chastise our former, non-existent selves. Overlooking the obvious: those experiences are what created the learning and wisdom that benefits you now.

Yes, it may have sucked. But you don’t suck, and those things don't exist anymore, except in your mind. Give your previous self a break and thank them for teaching you the lessons you now know.

Listen to the episode to learn grace and forgiveness, for yourself.

Based on the article, Too Much Pomade, Not Enough Waves

Subscribe to my Substack at: https://ericleonpayne.substack.com

Buy me a cup of coffee here: https://buymeacoffee.com/ericleonpayne

Things don't always go as planned or envisioned. When this happens what do you do? Do you run away or do you stand and see your way through the mess? I experience this in grand fashion during Episode Four of Season Four. Things start off calmly enough with me trying to meet up in person with The Woman Dressed in Black I met in Episode 2 (Season Four), but things take a turn and accelerate full-speed into the unexpected. After all, isn't that one of the main things that makes life the beautiful tapestry of experiences that it is? In this episode, I come face to face with the unexpected and learn that much more about myself in the process.

Episode Hot Takes:

1. Emotional Desire versus Physical Desire vs. Chemistry
2. What to do when it's you not them
3. As always, the gift of the cold hard truth and learning how to be honest with yourself and your feelings, despite the urgings of others
4. Pretty is, but pretty so what?
5. Learning how to exercise grace rather than "winning"
6. Why unfollowing on social media matters (it doesn't)
7. Acknowledging pain and talking honestly about it with God

If you enjoyed the episode:

1. Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
2. If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
3. Check out my bonus episode, Dating In My Forties, featured on Medium here: https://datingafterdivorce.guide/episode/dating-in-my-forties
4. Please, follow the Dating After Divorce music playlist to follow all the tunes that influenced my life while I was going through it: https://epayne.me/playlist

To My First-Time Listeners: Thank you for listening! If you want to truly know what's going on you need to go back to Season One, Episode One, because that is where the story starts.

In this installment of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, my family life and my dating life begin to intersect. My youngest is older and has some pretty strong opinions on how her mother and I should be conducting ourselves as single, dating people. I call the woman who was Dressed In All Black Like the Omen (Episode 2) and I'm faced with a great opportunity, but my ego may be in the way...or perhaps it is my savior in disguise.

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To learn more about the show and more, visit: http://datingafterdivorce.guide

To follow me on Instagram: http://instragram.com/ericlpayne and http://instagram.com/datingafterdivorceguide

To subscribe to the podcast's music playlist on Spotify visit: https://epayne.me/playlist

If you're new to this podcast, thank you for visiting and I hope you'll stay awhile! The best place to begin here is all the way that the beginning, Season One, Episode One. That way you won't feel the way I do when I get to a party a little later and everyone else is already dancing.

Resources from the Episode :

You are Beautiful, Inside & Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

This is a bonus episode, y'all! I wrote an article over at Medium and was encouraged to narrate it as well. Of course, that meant I had to share with all of you. I'll tease the content here but for the full transcript, visit www.medium.com/@ericPayne

TRANSCRIPT:

Dating In My Forties, by Eric Payne

By the time you read this, I will be nearing my fiftieth year on this planet though most mistake me for an old thirty-five or a young thirty-eight. When making conversation with strangers in public places such as gas stations, grocery stores, and parks, I’m struck when people either my age or younger occasionally address me as “young man.” I make no effort to correct them. Instead, I appreciate that life has been kind to my appearance, everything considered. I have two children — a twenty-six-year-old son and a fifteen-year-old daughter who is wise beyond her years, as most teenage girls are. On paper, I have joint custody of the youngest with their mother. But honestly, it’s often hard to think of myself as anything other than a single father. I’m the only adult in my house. When my life as Dad challenges and stretches me, no one is there to guide me with that needed woman’s touch — to let me know I’ve said too little or too much or am applying too much pressure or not enough. Of course, my ex-wife is only a phone call away, but in these moments, there is no teammate present to step in to catch my fumble, run the ball for me when I’m headed straight into interference, or tell me to take a seat so she can do her thing. At least, that is what I believe should happen in the moments when I’m out of ideas and patience...

Read the full article/transcript here with your exclusive Patron of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide Link!

Thank you for listening! If you like what you hear or read, please share with someone you believe will benefit.

Much Love,

E

You have to be old enough to have seen The Omen AND current enough (if you call the 90s current) to remember Lil’ Kim’s iconic line in “All About the Benjamins” to catch the reference I’m dropping here. Episode 2 of Season 4 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide continues with the ongoing my ongoing post-divorce journey. Broken boundaries, making myself small, the past, present, and an unconfirmed future relationship collide at a birthday party where my insecurities are running high from the way I look, what I have to offer as a person, to the clothes I'm wearing. Although the growth is real, there are still many stumbling blocks along the way that this divorced guy has to overcome.

Visit http://datingafterdivorce.guide to learn more about the show, me, my Patreon support channel and more!

Follow me on Instagram at http://instragram.com/ericlpayne and http://instagram.com/datingafterdivorceguide

Subscribe to the playlist featuring the music that inspires the podcast here: https://epayne.me/playlist

If you're new to this podcast, thank you for visiting and I hope you'll stay awhile! The best place to begin here is all the way that the beginning, Season One, Episode One. That way you won't feel the way I do when I get to a party a little later and everyone else is already dancing.

Resources from the Episode :

You are Beautiful, Inside & Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

The saga continues as I plot and plod my way through life after saying "goodbye" to forbidden love. While attending a birthday party I cross paths with my past but stumble upon something new. I push past my fear and shoot my shot, sort of.

If you're new to this podcast, thank you for visiting and I hope you'll stay awhile! The best place to begin here is all the way that the beginning, Season One, Episode One. That way you won't feel the way I do when I get to a party a little later and everyone else is already dancing.

Episodes are biweekly. See you again soon!

Resources from the Episode : 

You are Beautiful, Inside & Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

We're back like we never left! By we, I mean me because I really don't speak in the third person. Season Four kicks off with literally everything that could go wrong going full-speed into Wrong-Ville and Drama Town with a whole lot of texting and not enough talking, but along the way I discover and/or am reminded of the following:

1. What to do when co-parenting goes all the way wrong
2. Desire versus capacity
3. Freedom from the thoughts and opinions of others
4. The gift of the cold hard truth
5. Correction versus protection
6. Remembering your value and what you owe others

If you enjoyed the episode:

1. Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
2. If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
3. Please, follow the Dating After Divorce music playlist to follow all the tunes that influenced my life while I was going through it: https://epayne.me/playlist

"All my time has been focused on my freedom now. Why would I join 'em when I know that I can beat 'em now? They put their words on me, and they can eat 'em now…"

Ms. Lauryn Hill has the right idea on the new track, NOBODY where she spits facts about her growth alongside Nas. There is nothing more joyful and liberating than learning and loving yourself along the way.

Season 4 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide begins August 26, 2021. The escapades continue as does the growth, self-awareness, peace, and self-love that comes when you look inward versus outward when you are met with unexpected and often undesirable events. 

Stay tuned for a chance to join me live for an Episode One “After-Party”. 

And please follow the playlist so you stay up to date on all the music that powers the podcast here: https://epayne.me/playlist

The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is a serial podcast that thoughtfully and often hilariously narrates the journey of retired fatherhood blogger Eric Payne as he navigates the challenges of "starting over" after divorce.

From one-night stands to ghosting to online dating, to mental anguish and heartbreak to the self-care that is required of a 40+, divorced Black man and father in America, Eric tackles it all with fearless transparency, vulnerability, and a refreshing sense of humor — especially when it comes to making fun of himself. 

The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is available on your favorite podcast platform. Subscribe today!

Acting on your emotions always feels good in the moment but rarely works out in the long run. Your host, Eric Payne, a.k.a. the Divorced Dillenger puts both his feet in a pile of you know what when he casts care to the wind (based on the events of Episode 5: A New Orleans Ghost Story) and backslides on his principles when it comes to who and how he dates. But don't lose hope! Things just may end on a high note in the season finale of Season 3 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide.

EPISODE TOPICS:

1. Why acting based on your emotions rather than sound judgment is never a good idea in any relationship.
2. Why it’s okay to want what you want.
3. That you can and in some instances should elevate yourself above your circumstances.
4. Why it’s necessary to have “space” in relationships, no matter what.

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Resources from the Episode :

You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Get poems featured in Season 3 here: http://epayne.me/poetrybook

Episode 7 poetry is adapted from Love Rain by Jill Scott (Miss Jill)

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If you enjoyed the episode:

1. Please subscribe on your platform of choice and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? 😃

About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger (MakesMeWannaHoller.com) and divorced dad, Eric Payne, for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over and through emotional hills and valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

"Revenge is mine!" sayeth the Lord. Revenge may look cool and might seem like a good idea in the movies when the hero goes for broke to even the odds. But that’s the movies. In real life, not so much. Revenge sex (not to be confused with make-up sex) is an even worse idea. But that doesn’t stop me. Mad, sad, disappointed, upset, and completely knocked off my game thanks to the events of Episode 5, A New Orleans Ghost Story, revenge is on my mind. But revenge doesn't accomplish much.

EPISODE TOPICS:

(00:14) Act 1: Acting out of Anger and Living in Echo Chambers

1. Stuck in someone else's pain
2. Why revenge doesn't work
3. Mistakes versus evil and why your pain doesn't make you special

(06:54) Act 2: Revenge and Its Various Forms

1. How revenge plays out in emotional matters
2. Why you need to be honest with your accountability tribe no matter what
3. Why revenge is a waste of time
4. Who actually suffers when you seek revenge

(17:24) Act 3: Revenge Sex - Setting the Trap and Creating the Bait

1. There was really no way for this to end well, but at the time, I simply did not care.

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Resources from the Episode :

You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Get poems featured in Season 3 here: http://epayne.me/poetrybook

Episode music by Epik The Dawn and Temper Beats

------------

If you enjoyed the episode:

1. Please subscribe on your platform of choice and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? 😃

About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger (MakesMeWannaHoller.com) and divorced dad, Eric Payne, for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over and through emotional hills and valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

After a four-year break, we're back! Welcome to Season 5, "The Seasoning."

Before I got grown and started losing grown-up things, I lost something more precious as a child — my sense of self.

This is a prequel narration of sorts. My beginnings that led to Seasons 1-4 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide™️: an only child's very early fight for purpose, meaning, and self-esteem in the face of being seen but not heard, teased by classmates, and taught old-time religion.

Based on the article, God Lives in the Ceiling

For the more stories like these, please visit and subscribe to my Substack, The Bounceback.

Episode 5 is a ghost story, or should I say a story of ghosting, just in time for the 2018 holiday season. It's a tale filled with hope, mentorship, and an ending that couldn't have been expected but perhaps anticipated. The outcome of this story will set in motion a series of decisions and actions that will lead to series of less than desired outcomes.

See below for the episode acts and topics and their timestamps:

(01:15) Act 1: Creating Love In New Orleans

(06:59) Act 2: All That Glitters Ain't Gold: Mentorship, Creating Tribes, and Listening to Advice

1. Mentors don't have to be just for your business and your career
2. The types of people you should have in your tribe
3. Emotional intelligence is key to being mentored successfully
4. What to do when good advice is something you don't want to hear

(13:48) Act 3: When the Truth Comes Home to Roost

1. Why you need people in your corner to help you handle the truth
2. What to do and what not to do when someone is showing you who they are

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Resources from the Episode :

Episode Poem, "'Bout to Burst": http://epayne.me/poetrybook

You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Episode music by Epik The Dawn and Temper Beats

If you enjoyed the episode:

1. Please subscribe on your platform of choice and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? 😃

About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger (MakesMeWannaHoller.com) and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

Moving right along from Episode 3 and just in time for Valentine's Day (if you haven't listened to it start there, actually just start at Season 1 because this is a story, not a podcast made up of standalone episodes)! It's the holidays and yours truly, Eric Payne, The Divorced Dillinger, travels home to visit the family! Before it's all over I will have eaten my way through Chicago, connected with old friends, weighed in polygamy, and held court with a trio of prayer warriors. See below for the episode acts and topics and their timestamps:

(03:47) Act 1: Dealing With Rejection

1. How rejection can manifest negatively in your life such as imposter syndrome
2. A better way to view rejection and use it as a springboard for success

(10:18) Act 2: The Power of Being Alone

1. Using solitude to your advantage
2. Understanding the paradox of people-pleasing and ways to go about breaking the codependent need to please others
3. and why you should

(15:10) Acts 3 & 4: Acceptance is a Hell of a Drug

1. Reconnecting with old friends over the miles and the years
2. The damage and dangers of living in denial and keeping secrets a.k.a. ignoring the truth
3. The power of being present, accepting your circumstances for what they are, and what this means

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Resources from the Episode :

This episode's poem, As the Drip Drops, can be found here: http://epayne.me/poetrybook

You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Some episode music by Epik The Dawn and Temper Beats

If you enjoyed the episode:

1. Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
2. If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
3. If you listen on Apple Podcasts and have a few extra moments, please, leave me a 5-star review and if you're really feeling generous, a written review. Why 5 stars? The podcasts with the highest and largest amounts of reviews are showcased by Apple. This will give the show the opportunity to be seen by more people.

About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger (MakesMeWannaHoller.com) and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

Fresh off my Instagram hunt from Episode 2 of Season 3 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, Episode 3 begins with a reunion (finally!) with C-Sweet Lady. Before it's all over I will have contemplated outrunning a cheetah, I transform like Optimus Prime and bravely set myself up to get rejected by my new IG Crush.

Just a regular Tuesday in the life of your host, the Divorced Dillinger.

Episode topics:

1. Game recognize game - learning when to count your losses and move on
2. Getting your swagger/groove/good juju back
3. What determines your value as a person and in dating
4. What to do as a man when you want to date but have limited (little) money

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EPISODE LINKS:

Eric on the "Spin Bike": http://www.instagram.com/p/CKV-EFDh3H3/

The poem, Tapestry: http://epayne.me/poetrybook

You are Beautiful, Inside & Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Support the show: https://cash.app/$epayne

----------

If you enjoyed the episode:

1. Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
2. If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
3. If you listen on Apple Podcasts and have a few extra moments, please, leave me a 5-star review and if you're really feeling generous, a written review. Why 5 stars? The podcasts with the highest and largest amounts of reviews are showcased by Apple. This will give the show the opportunity to be seen by more people.
4. Don't forget to use the hashtag: #datingafterdivorce

Fresh of the Birthday Debacle from Episode One, the Divorced Dillenger (Yours Truly) is coming to grips once again with being single and not wanting to just "mingle" if you get what I'm saying. So what do I do to create a love connection? I go to "The Gram!"

Oh boy...

Episode topics:

1. Instagram, the pros and cons of the app
2. Instagram, the source of much emotional and mental stress
3. Instagram as a dating app, what to do and what not to do (aka "Instagram Hunting")
4. How to shoot your shot on Instagram

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EPISODE LINKS:

The poem, A Passing Want: http://epayne.me/poetrybook

You are Beautiful, Inside & Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Support the show: https://cash.app/$epayne

----------

If you enjoyed the episode:

1. Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
2. If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
3. If you listen on Apple Podcasts and have a few extra moments, please, leave me a 5-star review and if you're really feeling generous, a written review. Why 5 stars? The podcasts with the highest and largest amounts of reviews are showcased by Apple. This will give the show the opportunity to be seen by more people.
4. Don't forget to use the hashtag: #datingafterdivorce

And we’re back! Season 3 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide opens with me returning to Atlanta from my Labor Day Weekend love fest in New York City with a pep in my step and my nose wide open. But that post-coitus shine is quickly dulled by a couple of run-ins with the ex-wife. But the Divorced Dillinger (yours truly) manages to end the month with a bang, literally, for my birthday which may or may not be a good thing!

Episode topics:

1. The Afterglow from C-Sweet Lady
2. Fighting with the Ex, Part One
3. Fighting with the Ex, Part Two
4. Learning to Forgive - Forgiveness Is a Process
5. Birthday Self-Love and Self-Care
6. The Pros and Cons of Being a Hodaddy

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EPISODE LINKS:

The poem, Crash & Burn of a Hopeless Romantic: http://epayne.me/poetrybook

You are Beautiful, Inside & Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

Learn your worth. Speak your worth! https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Support the show: https://cash.app/$epayne

----------

If you enjoyed the episode:

1. Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
2. If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
3. If you listen on Apple Podcasts and have a few extra moments, please, leave me a 5-star review and if you're really feeling generous, a written review. Why 5 stars? The podcasts with the highest and largest amounts of reviews are showcased by Apple. This will give the show the opportunity to be seen by more people.
4. Don't forget to use the hashtag: #datingafterdivorce

New logo. New season. New misadventures and adventures for divorced dad, Eric Payne as he navigates post-divorce life and dating along with a good old healthy dose of self-awareness.

In Season 3, Eric deals with: 

• acceptance
• true forgiveness
• lust versus love
• the power of rejection
• knowing better and ultimately doing better

#datingafterdivorce

___________

Links For Ya: 

My farewell to 2020: https://www.instagram.com/p/CJbTWYfB4_H/

You are Beautiful, Inside & Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

————————————

I have a favor to ask...

• If you like what you're hearing, please recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Please do so you won't miss an episode. 
• If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button. 
• And if you listen on Apple Podcasts and have a few extra moments, please, leave me a 5-star review. Why 5? The podcasts with the highest and largest amounts of reviews are showcased by Apple. This will give me the chance to share my content with people who will benefit from it.

About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

2020 is officially behind us now (GTFOH). Although currently, the only difference between 2020 and 2021 is one day, that is in fact the gift. You have TODAY. Then tomorrow you will have TODAY. And so on. Decide today to BE different, to BE better, to LIVE a purpose-filled life, and to do so on your terms, which means not in accordance with what social media or anyone else says. 

Despite what your 2020 may or may not have been, MAKE the effort TODAY to be better and greater than you were yesterday. By doing this you will be like a stone thrown into a lake creating a ripple effect for good in the lives of everyone around you. 

In this bonus episode, I look back on a transformative year then turn the page, leaping forward with tools and tips to transform yourself moving forward, in love and life. 

This episode covers:

• Acting out of your pain.
• Assessing where you are, emotionally.
• Choices that make a difference in YOUR life.

Happy New Year. Be great. Be safe. Stay safe.

E

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Links You'll Like 

My farewell to 2020: https://www.instagram.com/p/CJbTWYfB4_H/

You are Beautiful, Inside & Out and You are NOT Your Past and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

Sign up for episode recaps from me, dating Q&As, access to exclusive merch, and more: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Get control of YOUR time. It’s your most precious asset: https://epayne.me/self-care

————————————

I have a favor to ask...

• If you like what you're hearing, please recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Please do so you won't miss an episode. 
• If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button. 
• And if you listen on Apple Podcasts and have a few extra moments, please, leave me a 5-star review. Why 5? The podcasts with the highest and largest amounts of reviews are showcased by Apple. This will give me the chance to share my content with people who will benefit from it.

About The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

Pimpin' ain't easy and neither is podcasting! It's been exactly one year and 37 episodes since I dropped the first trailer for The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, and what a ride it has been!

Listen in for a very special Happy Birthday bonus episode where I go behind the scenes of the podcast to share how it's produced, the music that drives it, and of course, talk about relationship stuff.

Featuring music by Epik The Dawn.

Thank you for listening! Please subscribe and share with a couple of your good friends.

Now available on Vurbl at https://vurbl.com/station/7u0IdgUP3oW/

About the Podcast

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger and divorced dad, Eric Payne, me, for the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, arguably the best relationship podcast on the Internet, rated 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts a Black Podcasting Awards 2020 nominee for Best Relationship Podcast. I take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys of navigating dating life as a divorced man and living life brand new in my forties. I don't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and I'm not afraid to call myself out when I'm the one being messy.

For behind-the-scenes content, follow me on Instagram: @ericlpayne

For exclusive content subscribe to my Patreon page: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

In the conclusion of two-part Season 2 finale of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, everything comes full circle for Eric on his journey — he's discovered someone he wants to build a relationship with and he comes face to face with his past. What remains to be seen is if he can make it work with C-Sweet Lady and can he come to terms with his past.

Episode Music: Wig Split by Epik the Dawn

If you like what you're hearing, please recommend this podcast to one person who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Please do so you won't miss an episode.

About the Podcast

About the Podcast

Black Podcast Awards 2020 Nominee for "Best Relationship Podcast"

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger and divorced dad, Eric Payne, me, for the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, arguably the best relationship podcast on the Internet, rated 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts a Black Podcasting Awards 2020 nominee for Best Relationship Podcast. I take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys of navigating dating life as a divorced man and living life brand new in my forties. I don't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the messy, and I'm not afraid to call myself out when I'm the one being messy.

For behind-the-scenes content, follow me on Instagram: @ericlpayne

For exclusive content subscribe to my Patreon page: http://patreon.com/ericpayne

Black Podcast Awards 2020 Nominee for Best Relationship Podcast

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Shop the Store: https://epayne.me/podmerch

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ericpayne

FREE Time Management Worksheet: https://epayne.me/self-care

Guided Meditation: https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericlpayne

Facebook: https://facebook.com/datingafterdivorce

Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamericlpayne

The official Dating After Divorce Survival Guide Soundtrack: https://datingafterdivorcesoundtrack.com

Ready and willing for a change, in the Season 2 Finale of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, I leave town and head to the Big Apple to spend time with an old acquaintance/coworker and together we explore new territory.

Be sure to listen to until the end for fan tributes and a very special tribute.

Episode Music:

"Orange Cream" & "Not Quite" by Epik The Dawn

"Food for Your Neo Soul" by SERFmusic

Cutting and scratching by Eric Payne

If you like what you're hearing, please recommend this podcast to one person who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Please do so you won't miss an episode.

About the Podcast

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

--------------------

Shop the Store: https://epayne.me/podmerch

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ericpayne

FREE Time Management Worksheet: https://epayne.me/self-care

Guided Meditation: https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericlpayne

Facebook: https://facebook.com/datingafterdivorce

Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamericlpayne

The official Dating After Divorce Survival Guide Soundtrack: https://datingafterdivorcesoundtrack.com

After a nearly four-year hiatus, The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide™️ is back, revisiting the old and sharing the new on life and lessons learned from the wilderness of post-divorce, love, dating, parenting, living, grief, and growing.

Season 5, "The Seasoning," debuts Friday, March 6, 2026.

Too much of anything, no matter how good it is, can become a bit much. In Episode Nine (That Pull-Out Game Weak) of the second season of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide Eric is weary from hopping around from woman to woman and tries his hand a dating again. Before it's all over he gets cornered by two women and receives a text message that stands to change his life.

Episode Music: "No Luck" by Epik The Dawn

If you like what you're hearing, please recommend this podcast to one person who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Make sure you do so you don't miss an episode.

About the Podcast

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

--------------------

Merch: https://epayne.me/podmerch

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ericpayne

FREE Time Management Worksheet: https://epayne.me/self-care

Guided Meditation: https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericlpayne

Facebook: https://facebook.com/datingafterdivorce

Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamericlpayne

The official Dating After Divorce Survival Guide Soundtrack: https://datingafterdivorcesoundtrack.com

Episode Eight of the second season of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide finds Eric off whatever high horse he was on and giving in to his sexual urges without remorse or concern that he is ruining his life as a Christian. He doesn't hold back and as he discovers that living a carefree and expectation-free existence gets him the attention, adoration and women with an ease that goes beyond what he ever imagined. But he quickly learns that when you recklessly let go of the things you keep under control you run the risk of losing control — completely.

If you like what you're hearing, please recommend this podcast to one person who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Make sure you do so you don't miss an episode.

About the Podcast

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

--------------------

Merch: https://epayne.me/podmerch

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ericpayne

FREE Time Management Worksheet: https://epayne.me/self-care

Guided Meditation: https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericlpayne

Facebook: https://facebook.com/datingafterdivorce

Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamericlpayne

The official Dating After Divorce Survival Guide Soundtrack: https://datingafterdivorcesoundtrack.com

Post-divorce trauma is real and it can show up in more than one place. Eric is not okay. Picking up where we left off at Episode 5, Episode 7: Joy and Pain — Soul Ties and Ho Cake packs a punch that hits:

1. Putting your ex-wife on Do Not Disturb
2. HBCUs
3. Creating a spreadsheet to evaluate prospective dates
4. Breaking soul ties
5. Experiencing joy
6. Being your own boss at someone else's job
7. The power of choice and the dangers that come with
8. The lies we tell ourselves to get through our pain and our days
9. and some great music from Temper

And someone from Season One reemerges with new energy (insert dramatic sound effect) before it's all over.

Info about the gray wolf via The National Wildlife Federation.

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LINKS:

Shop the Store: https://epayne.me/podmerch

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ericpayne

FREE Time Management Worksheet: https://epayne.me/self-care

Guided Meditation for Self-Worth Maintenance: https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericlpayne

Facebook: https://facebook.com/datingafterdivorce

Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamericlpayne

The official Dating After Divorce Survival Guide Soundtrack: https://datingafterdivorcesoundtrack.com

Welcome to a special edition of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide. I was personally impacted by the death of Rayshard Brooks as it occurred mere minutes from my house. In light of it being Juneteeth and with Father's Day 2020 only a couple days away I decided to break from the story line of post-divorce Eric getting his life together and discuss the racial and civil unrest of the past few weeks along with some very special guests who share why they love being dads.

Begin learning about Juneteenth here: https://youtu.be/M_FP7x322cc

https://youtu.be/GNEPwwv56DY

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Father's Day Merchandise: https://epayne.me/podmerch

SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube Channel for Podcast Extras: https://www.youtube.com/c/ericpayne

DOWNLOAD: 4 Time Management Tips to bring you peace, purpose and prosperity: https://epayne.me/self-care

DOWNLOAD my Guided Meditation for the divorced and brokenhearted and give your life a boost of positivity: https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

FOLLOW me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericlpayne

CONNECT with me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/datingafterdivorce

Listen to the official Dating After Divorce Survival Guide soundtrack: https://datingafterdivorcesoundtrack.com

Eric has kept a trump card tucked away in his back pocket — a secret he doesn't even share with even his closest friends and his newly retained mentors who are helping him along his journey to new life post-divorce. It's something that give him brief pleasure but it is a source of great shame. What am I talking about? Married women who are ready and willing whenever Eric wants their company. In this episode Eric shares how he finds himself in this situation as a divorced man who believed so much in being faithful while married and what, if anything, he does to rectify it.

Please like, subscribe, share, review and use the hashtag #datingafterdivorce

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SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube Channel for Podcast Extras: https://www.youtube.com/c/ericpayne

DOWNLOAD: 4 Time Management Tips to bring you peace, purpose and prosperity: https://epayne.me/self-care

DOWNLOAD my Guided Meditation for the divorced and brokenhearted and give your life a boost of positivity: https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

FOLLOW me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericlpayne

CONNECT with me on Facebook: https://facebook.com/datingafterdivorce

Listen to the official Dating After Divorce Survival Guide soundtrack: https://datingafterdivorcesoundtrack.com

In Episode 4 Eric continues on his journey of life, love and pursuing peace and joy. His relationship with Newroom Reporter Lady forces him to discover what is the stuff of relationships — what makes them work and what doesn't.

About the Podcast:

The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is a biweekly, serial podcast that thoughtfully and often hilariously narrates the journey of a man in his forties - faced with the challenge of starting over after divorce - and navigating the treacherous landscape of dating in the Age of the Internet and the era of smartphones.

This is a podcast about real life! It's transparent, it’s raw, it’s funny, it’s messy, and it’s hopeful, but most of all, it’s proof that second chances do in fact exist for us when life doesn’t go as planned.

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🔥FREE DOWNLOAD: 4 Time Management Tips to bring you peace, purpose and prosperity! https://epayne.me/self-care

Download my Guided Meditation: https://gumroad.com/l/MinpA

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for Podcast Extras: https://www.youtube.com/c/ericpayne

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericlpayne

Listen to the episode playlist at: https://datingafterdivorcesoundtrack.com

As Eric continues on his journey of life, love and pursuing peace and joy, he is forced to discover what is the stuff of relationships — what makes them work and what does not.

About the Podcast:

The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is a biweekly, serial podcast that thoughtfully and often hilariously narrates the journey of a man in his forties - faced with the challenge of starting over after divorce - and navigating the treacherous landscape of dating in the Age of the Internet and the smartphone. 

This is a podcast about real life! It's transparent, it’s raw, it’s funny, it’s messy, and it’s hopeful, but most of all it’s proof that second chances do in fact exist for us when life doesn’t go as planned. 

Eric's dating journey continues, but not without its challenges. He has to deal with

1. his ex-wife texting him a whole lot more than he'd like,
2. showing up late for dates, and
3. learning what to share and what not to share when meeting new people

___________

Visit DatingAfterDivorceSoundtrack.com and sign up for updates to hear the music that both inspired and was often played during the events described on the podcast (you can't hear them here because I'm not trying to get sued).

Download your Free 60 Minutes of Self-Care worksheet pack, please visit epayne.me/self-care It makes a great companion to the above meditation.

To learn more about the show visit datingafterdivorce.guide and please, follow me on Instagram @ericlpayne to see what I'm up to behind the scenes.

Have a question for me? Click here and ask away or email me at info[at]datingafterdivorce[dot]guide. I may feature it as a topic in a future episode.

As much as you try to move forward with your life sometimes the past won't let go.

Episode 3 arrives this Thursday, 05.07.2020.

Eric gains a very powerful ally along his quest to better manhood: the Black woman. In this episode, he extolls his love for them and why black women matter — reasons that go beyond the basics of love and companionship.

But Eric is still new on his journey into middle-aged, single life. He is contending with self-image a.k.a. his weight, and temptation awaits him around every corner — even at a birthday party.

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Download your Free 60 Minutes of Self-Care worksheet pack, please visit epayne.me/self-care It makes a great companion to the above meditation.

Support the show at: https://paypal.me/epaynechi or https://cash.app/$epayne

To learn more about the show visit datingafterdivorce.guide and please, follow me on Instagram @ericlpayne to see what I'm up to behind the scenes.

Have a question for me? Click here and ask away or email me at info[at]datingafterdivorce[dot]guide. I may feature it as a topic in a future episode.

The Season 4 Finale is here! Welcome to Episode 9 of Season 4 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide.

Seasons change as do situations. Life is a mixed bag of peaks and valleys. The thing about life is that it isn’t fair and doesn’t care about what you’re going through or whatever relationship issues you may be having when it decides that it isn’t going to be fair. In this episode, life moves in the direction of the real where being grown will truly be tested.

This episode is dedicated to the memory of Jobe Leon Payne, my father. To learn more about his groundbreaking work in the medical and healthcare education and donate to the foundation named in his honor that will continue to advance his legacy of scholarship and servant leadership, please visit: jobepaynefoundation.org

IG: @datingafterdivorcesurvival & @ericlpayne

Good things are in store. Stay in touch and visit the official website datingafterdivorce.guide to sign up for updates.

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Thank you, for listening! If this is your first time:

1. The best place to begin here is all the way that the beginning, Season One, Episode One. That way you won't feel the way I do when I get to a party a little late and everyone there is acting like they're best friends.
2. Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
3. If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
4. Please, follow the Dating After Divorce music playlist to follow all the tunes that influenced my life while I was going through it: https://epayne.me/playlist
5. Read my article, Dating In My Forties, over at Medium for free as a Friend of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide. Read the article here. You can read all my articles on Medium at: medium.com/@ericpayne

In January of 2020, with the first season of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide almost done, I was asked who I created the podcast for. The way I began my answer is not the way I finished it. Check out this short clip on what you get and why you get it when you subscribe to this bi-weekly podcast.

PS - It's for everyone.

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Download your Free 60 Minutes of Self-Care worksheet pack, please visit epayne.me/self-care It makes a great companion to the above meditation.

Podcast merch at: epayne.me/podmerch

To learn more about the show visit datingafterdivorce.guide and follow me on Instagram @ericlpayne to see what I'm up to behind the scenes.

Have a question for me? Click here and ask away or email me at info[at]datingafterdivorce[dot]guide. I may feature it as a topic in a future episode.

The story picks up where we left off at the end of Season One. It's January 1, 2017 and Eric begins to come into his own as a single man. He has a high-visibility job and he realizes he has more time on his hands than he's had in over a decade. What he does with both become the key factors that determine his year and the rest of his life.

In this episode he addresses:

1. being a divorced dad
2. living an expectation-free life
3. what it means to be a leader
4. self-care and health and wellness

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Listen to You Are Worthy: A Guided Meditation at epayne.me/worthy This meditation is available free of charge until April, 13, 2020.

Download your Free 60 Minutes of Self-Care worksheet pack, please visit epayne.me/self-care It makes a great companion to the above meditation.

-----------------------------

Check out podcast merch at: epayne.me/podmerch

To learn more about the show visit datingafterdivorce.guide and follow me on Instagram @ericlpayne to see what I'm up to behind the scenes.

Have a question for me? Click here and ask away or email me at info[at]datingafterdivorce[dot]guide. I may feature it as a topic in a future episode.

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

Emotional pain pierces like small, constant drops of water. It's a dull beating that wears a path through you destroying everything in its path and leaving very little behind. Eric carries his pain as best he can — to the point of thinking he can keep it to himself, until he can't.

Season 2, Season of the Wolf, begins April 9th, 2020.

Please, subscribe and share with a friend.

Follow Eric on Instagram at @ericlpayne

It's when things are most challenging that we begin to wonder why we are here or for that matter, do we matter? In today's Monday Motivation I share (for a limited time only) a guided meditation that I originally created based on affirmations I used to tell myself when I was going through the worst of times — divorce, unemployment, loneliness, my father's illness, to name a few. It's especially applicable now in the Time of Coronavirus.

Today's episode features You Are Worthy: A Guided Meditation for the Divorced, The Downtrodden and Those Who Are Down on Their Luck. Given our current collective experiences, nationally and globally, this meditation is for all as we cope with the COVID19 pandemic. I hope and pray that this 10 minute exercise will be a help to you or something you can pass along to someone in need.

Additionally, download your Free 60 Minutes of Self-Care worksheet pack, please visit http://epayne.me/self-care It makes a great companion to today's meditation.

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Check out podcast merch at: https://epayne.me/podmerch

To learn more about the show visit https://datingafterdivorce.guide and follow me on Instagram @ericlpayne to see what I'm up to behind the scenes.

Have a question for me? Click here and ask away or email me at info[at]datingafterdivorce[dot]guide. I may feature it as a topic in a future episode.

CORRECTION: The link mentioned at the end of the episode is incorrect see the corrected link below (before the dotted line).

Today's Monday Motivation comes on a Tuesday. In this episode, I'm talking about creating quality time for ourselves now that we are in the Time of Coronavirus.

Depending on where you are in the world, you may be days or weeks into self-isolating and quarantine due to the COVID-19 outbreak. Work-life and school life have moved home, you have more time on your hands than you did a month ago, and you're now sharing space with people who before now, you mostly saw only in the evenings and on the weekends. You're doing the dang thing keeping it together for all parties involved. I sincerely applaud you. But what are you doing for yourself beyond catching up on Netflix?

Are you creating a structured time to help YOU get through this and be a better parent, spouse, helpmate, partner, and person in the process? Are you using the time productively? Are you exercising your mind as well as your body?

In this video, I mention dedicating 90 minutes to self-care, but I realize this may sound like A LOT if you've never tried something like this before. Let's cut it down to 60 minutes and while you're at it you can download my Free 60 Minutes of Self-Care worksheets to help you get started. You can get them at https://epayne.me/self-care .

We're all in this together. Let's come out of this better than we entered into it.

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Check out podcast merch at: https://epayne.me/podmerch

To learn more about the show visit https://datingafterdivorce.guide

Have a question for me? Click here and ask away or email me at info[at]datingafterdivorce[dot]guide. I may feature it as a topic in a future episode.

"Never Settle" is Eric’s personal mantra and he shares why now especially, during the Time of Coronavirus (COVID-19) and #ClubQuarantine it’s more important than ever to never settle in the following areas:

1. in life
2. in work
3. in love

If it turns out you have been settling, Eric offers suggestions on how to change things up — for the better.

Domestic Violence Hotline Help (US only):

1. 1-800-799-7233
2. Text LOVEIS to 22533
3. Chat at thehotline.org

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Check out podcast merch at: https://epayne.me/podmerch

To learn more about the show visit https://datingafterdivorce.guide

Have a question for me? Click here and ask away or email me at info[at]datingafterdivorce[dot]guide. I may feature it as a topic in a future episode.

So here we are in the midst of a pandemic that has been months in the making, but took only a week's worth of media and peer pressure to turn life upside down here in the U.S. If you're home like I am take a listen and get your week started off right with some insights and tips on how to beat the COVID-19 aka Coronavirus Blues.

Something I didn't mention in this episode: stay informed, but stay away from media, especially social media, that insights fear and panic. Wait until the end for the big reveal.

If you like the show, please share it with a couple people who you think might like it too. 🙏🏾

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My Robinhood signup link. Sign up today and get free stock while you're at it: https://join.robinhood.com/ericp3704

Check out podcast merch at: https://epayne.me/podmerch

To learn more about the show visit https://datingafterdivorce.guide

Have a question for me? Click here and ask away or email me at info[at]datingafterdivorce[dot]guide. I may feature it as a topic in a future episode.

Welcome to Motivational Mondays 3.09.2020: Time does heal all wounds. This is probably the last thing you want to hear when you're at the start or in the middle of a thing that is challenging you, but if you ever want to get to finish it, or avoid repeating it, time is what you will have to trust in order to finish your race. Listen, subscribe and learn how I learned to trust time to accomplish and overcome.

If you like what you're hearing please recommend this podcast to one person who you think will benefit from this message. Did I mention subscribing? Make sure you do so you don't miss the start of Season 2 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide.

_____________________

Get your very own "I Am NOT My Past" t-shirt at http://epayne.me/notmypastshirt

To learn more visit The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

To look at my pictures and see me do Instagram stuff, follow me on Instagram: @ericlpayne

Have a question for me? Click here and ask away! I may feature it as a topic in a future episode.

Here is your Monday Motivation, because it's Monday, somewhere. Welcome to a new segment, not to be confused with the new season of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide. This week let's take a look at telling the truth. Telling the truth, no matter what the situation, can often be a scary thing when your truth is not in agreement with what someone else wants. But why? Why do we keep our truths from others — others who need to hear it — especially when they stand to lose in the long run from a lie, a half-truth or an omission. This week I share a recent experience of my own when I opted to tell the truth and what I learned.

If you like what you're hearing please recommend this podcast to one person who you think will benefit from this message. Did I mention subscribing? Make sure you do so you don't miss the start of Season 2 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide.

In this, the Season One Finale, the highs and lows and straight up ridiculousness of single life begin to take their toll on Eric. The pain is REAL! Instead of being in love and being at peace, he finds himself emotionally drained, conflicted, and angry and confused as to what it is exactly he is doing when it comes to the opposite sex and maybe more importantly, what are his reasons for doing it and why. Eric decides to leave no emotional stone unturned in his search for these answers and his truth. What he realizes about himself — all the issues he unearths — run the risk of turning his life upside down again. But this time around, this may not actually be a bad thing. From his male ego to Kobe, Eric pulls no punches in this Season One ender.

If you liked Season One, please recommend this podcast to one person who you think will benefit from this message. Did I mention subscribing? Make sure you do so you don't miss the start of Season 2 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide.

Get your very own "I Am NOT My Past" t-shirt at http://epayne.me/notmypastshirt

Get exclusive content by joining the club at http://patreon.com/datingafterdivorce

Music Credit: “Superhero” composed by Tim McMorris. Published by King's Crown Productions Inc. 

When the past sends you a text, you:

1. respond happily and pick up where you left off.
2. ignore it and possibly block them.
3. run like the wind.
4. break your phone, then change your number.
5. Some of the above.
6. None of the above.

In Episode 8 of Season 4, the Past makes a surprise appearance in my life while I navigate a new career opportunity, my singleness, am uncomfortable walk down social media memory lane, and my growing hypocrisy as it relates to one person in particular. Topics covered in this episode: managing expectations in relationships and managing emotions because of and despite past and present traumas.

IG: @datingafterdivorcesurvival & @ericlpayne

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This episode is in loving and brotherly memory of Hasan Jelani Durley [July 6, 1974 - January 31, 2022] Learn more: https://www.gofundme.com/f/hasan-durley-love-offering

------------------------

Thank you, for listening! If this is your first time:

1. The best place to begin here is all the way that the beginning, Season One, Episode One. That way you won't feel the way I do when I get to a party a little late and everyone there is acting like they're best friends.
2. Please subscribe and recommend this podcast to two people (2) who you think will enjoy it. Did I mention subscribing? Subscribe and never miss an episode.
3. If you listen on Spotify, just hit the “Follow” button.
4. Please, follow the Dating After Divorce music playlist to follow all the tunes that influenced my life while I was going through it: https://epayne.me/playlist
5. Read my article, Dating In My Forties, over at Medium for free as a Friend of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide. Read the article here. You can read all my articles on Medium at: medium.com/@ericpayne

In Episode 5 - Eric Pancakehouse and Attack of Target Lady, Eric is given advice on how to bounce back from his divorce that simply doesn't sit right with soul. He rejects the advice, opting instead for a more righteous path. That is, until the right person comes along from the most unlikeliest of places.

Visit the merch store at epayne.me/podmerch

For exclusive members-only content join The Dating Game at Patreon.com/datingafterdivorce

About the Podcast

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

To see what Eric does besides recording podcasts, follow him on Instagram: @ericlpayne

The highs and lows and straight up ridiculousness of single life begin to take their toll on Eric. Instead of full of swagger and bravado, he finds himself emotionally drained and confused as to what exactly it is he’s doing and maybe more importantly, what’s the point of it all. The answers he stumbles upon run the risk of turning his life upside down — again. But this time, this may not be a bad thing — in the long run.

Make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss Episode 7, The Season One Finale of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide. 

In this double-episode bonus (hey, sometimes it takes twice the time to deliver the message), prior to the Season Finale, Eric remains heartbroken behind the scenes despite his new escapades as a single man. He wants nothing more than to be reunited with his ex-wife and his family. But when reality sinks in, he channels his inner Eddie Murphy a.k.a. Buckwheat and turns to dating apps to find love. Connecting online is easy enough. Connecting in real life proves to be a bit more challenging as he crosses paths with:

• Brown Gravy
• The Youngin’
• Boston Legal
• The White Girl Who Loved Me
• The Angry New Yorker...among others…

If you like what you're hearing please recommend this podcast to one person who you think will benefit from this message. Did I mention subscribing? Make sure you do so you don't miss the start of Season 2 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide.

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For exclusive members-only content join The Dating Game at Patreon.com/datingafterdivorce

About the Podcast

Datin' ain't easy — especially the second time around. Join retired blogger and divorced dad, Eric Payne for his humorous storytelling escapades that take you along for the ride over the hills and through the valleys as he navigates dating life as a divorced man. Eric doesn't shy away from any of it – the good, the bad, the ugly and the messy, and he isn't afraid to call himself out when he's the one being messy.

To learn more visit The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide

To see what Eric does besides recording podcasts, follow him on Instagram: @ericlpayne

Eric remains heartbroken behind the scenes of his new escapades as a single man. He wants nothing more than to be reunited with his ex-wife and his family. But when reality sinks in, he chooses what he believes is the quickest and easiest path to companionship: online dating. He channels his inner Eddie Murphy/Buckwheat and begins wookin' pa nub in all da wong places.

Episode 6: Wookin' Pa Nub In All Da Wong Places is Coming Soon. Subscribe now and never miss an episode!