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Explore every episode of the podcast Tell Me About Your Kids

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TitlePub. DateDuration
Puzzle Pieces # 17 - Thank You for Telling Us About Your Kids22 Jun 202300:38:10

Can you believe that Bonnie and Adam have created 150 episodes of “Tell Me About Your Kids” over the last 3 years?! In this episode, they reflect on the experience, as well as what they’ve both come to understand about Connective Parenting and the universal struggles of parenthood. 

From punishment to being friends with your kids, to loving but sometimes not liking them, to wondering how life would be if we’d never had them, to the effects of generational trauma, Bonnie and Adam touch on many of life’s quandaries. And of course, the conversation wouldn’t be complete without a BIG thank you to the MANY generous parents who have been guests on the show. 

 An Important Note: This summer, Bonnie and Adam are taking a well-deserved hiatus. But don’t worry, you can catch up on popular episodes, ones you missed, or any you feel like it’s time to revisit. Stay tuned for details about the next chapter of Tell Me About Your Kids coming later this year! 




Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It


🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 



Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
How to Hold Your Children Accountable - Without Blame15 Jun 202300:50:31

When little kids fight and hurt each other, it’s all a parent can do not to grab, yell, blame and ultimately shame the hitter. Lee and Andre are learning how to hold their 3-year-old hitter accountable without all that. Instead, Celine learns the natural consequences of her behavior (a lost opportunity with blame) and how to develop her brain to think ahead—as long as Lee and Andre can alter their mindset and therefore their automatic reactions. The key to raising responsible, respectful people is modeling that ourselves. Lee and Andre need to reprogram old tapes that quickly assume malice and tell them yelling at Celine is the way to teach her not to do it again. Tune in to learn the No-Blame Solution to sibling fights—no matter what age your kids.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It


🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 


Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
From the archives: Episode 66 Community Pieces #5: “Denial is the heartbeat of racism” – a conversation on how to talk to ALL kids about race13 Apr 202300:38:45

No matter what your race, do you know how to talk to your kids in a coherent, age-appropriate way about race and racism? Were you brought up ignorant about racism, thinking it was only about someone else? I talk with Emma Redden and Grace Aldrich about their work in helping people discover their own histories in order to help their children understand theirs.

Grace and Emma are community educators and work with groups of teachers, parents and caregivers. If you are interested in working with them contact them through their website {thefullstoryschool.org} or by email at thefullstoryschool@gmail.com.

Grace and Emma have 2 podcasts Freedom Means and Kistory. 

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It


🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 


Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=






This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Community Pieces #4: Special Education Advocacy15 Jul 202100:37:58

Special Education consultant Lisa Stewart helps parents navigate the difficult waters of their children’s school careers when they don’t “fit the mold”. Ever had to communicate with your child’s school about lagging work, behavioral problems or decipher an I.E.P. or a 504 plan? Advocating for your child can feel like trying to tread water at best. It can be an intimidating, overwhelming job for which very few parents are qualified. Special ed. consultants can advocate for you advocating for your child.

 Lisa M. Stewart
Stewart Special Ed. Consulting, LLC
www.stewartspecialedconsulting.com
603-209-4821

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 

Audio Books

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Losing a Son/Gaining a They08 Jul 202100:39:41

Jean’s son has recently declared new pronouns, a new name, and a pan-sexual identity. They are there; the thinking and deciding has been done. But Jean and her husband are finding the change a bit daunting and are slower to climb on board with the correct terminology. Thirteen years of having a son with your chosen name is difficult to let go of and does not come without grieving a loss. We discuss how to accommodate each other with respect and mutual understanding so Jean no longer feels “cancelled in her own home”.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 


Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
“Parenting him is like a full-time job”01 Jul 202100:43:46

Among Willa’s “lots of kids”, her thirteen-year-old son, Dennis, is her biggest challenge. With an ADD personality and a brain going in all directions, this dysregulated teen looking for independence appears only to attract trouble. Being the “odd-one out” in his family, Dennis feels alone. The result is that Willa, a normally calm, caring mom, has ended this covid academic year exhausted and exacerbated. Structure proved to be what Dennis needed to succeed in school but now the summer is here and already chaos has reigned.


Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 


Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
“My brain is telling me this isn’t what I want”24 Jun 202100:41:44

Patricia is worried about her 7 1/2 yo son who she sees almost as a split personality. On one hand he has many strengths—he is extremely bright, perceptive and mature. On the other he is strong-headed and refuses to do what he doesn’t want. In most areas, she sees his strength, but in the food department, she sees his strong will as a weakness. Her fears are telling him not to trust himself when it comes to food choices—a message that could cause damage on down the line. Whatever the area of control, the lesson is to stand back from engaging in a fight and listen to your child. 

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 


Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Puzzle Pieces #7: Finding The Delicate Balance Of Your Parent Authority17 Jun 202100:44:59

Your kids need you to be in charge. They also don’t like to be told what to do. How do you find the right balance between the two? When do you push and when do you pull back? There-in lies the challenge of parenting. But when you understand what you can appropriately expect, finding that balance gets easier.

These once in a while episodes are concepts Bonnie has developed over the years that she discusses and ponders with her producer, Adam. They are critical pieces needed to fit together to form the big picture of a connected family. It’s when some of these pieces are missing that parents feel the most frustrated and drained in their attempts at controlling their children. Finding their places in the puzzle can be life changing.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 


Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com






This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
When “Calm and Collected” Gets In The Way10 Jun 202100:49:38

Seven year old Maeve has big emotional upheavals that clash with her father’s Aspergers presentation of calm and collected. Edward longs to be the involved parent his wife is but his non-emotional way of presenting comes across harsh and uncaring. And Lee’s desire for all to be heard and get along makes it hard for her to say no. Maeve is caught in the middle. Sometimes conscientious parents can work too hard.

 

Referred to episodes:  (will you put links in here please)

5/27/21  #44 Be the Coach not the Referee

5/13/21  #42 Puzzle Pieces – Your Kids are Not Disrespecting You

Other sibling related episodes:

4/29/21  #40 Controlling the Fight

2/11/21  #29 Standing Outside Your Children’s Problems

12/1/20  #20 When Sibling Fights Trigger Parent Anger

8/4/20  #3 Drowning in Humans

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 


Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Launching Out Of The Covid Cocoon03 Jun 202100:46:35

14-year-old Andrew, an only child has been cocooning with his single mother over the past pandemic year and is showing signs of stress in anticipation of moving out into the world. We have no guidelines for how we do this—to mask or not to mask…. An already anxious kid who learned early on that his introversion was not okay with his father struggles with how it’s all going to happen. Fortunately, he has a strong connection and relationship with his mom.


Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 


Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Sibling Rivalry: Be the Coach Not the Referee27 May 202100:41:15

Deanna and Ed want their young sons to grow up to be strong, independent and best friends. We all want our kids to be friends—but how do you make that happen? The answer is you can’t. But you can work with them to learn how to solve their own problems so they don’t fight over you and spend a lot of time defending themselves and chalking up points against the other.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com 

bh@bonnieharris.com


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books:

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
The Shy Kids Are Alright20 May 202100:45:54

Shyness is a character trait; it’s not a choice. Ashley’s 10 and 14 year olds are both extremely shy, as is Ashley. Ashley sees traits in them that she abhorred about herself and worked to change and their dad, outgoing and social, just thinks they’re rude.

 

“Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” by Susan Cain - https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153/ref=sr_1_1?crid=VGGFF9LX88NW&dchild=1&keywords=quiet+susan+cain&qid=1621200592&s=books&sprefix=Quiet%2Cstripbooks%2C202&sr=1-1

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books:

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Puzzle Pieces #6 Your Kids Are Not Disrespecting You13 May 202100:36:20

These once in a while episodes are concepts Bonnie has developed over the years that she discusses and ponders with her producer, Adam. They are critical pieces needed to fit together to form the big picture of a connected family. It’s when some of these pieces are missing that parents feel the most frustrated and drained in their attempts at controlling their children. Finding their places in the puzzle can be life changing.

It does no good to approach kids from the point of view that they are being disrespectful. What’s really going on is that your child is probably doing something he wants and is frustrated at being talked at or told to do something he doesn’t want. Bonnie walks you through what is actually happening that has nothing to do with disrespect. Kids are just doing what they want and don’t want to stop. It’s your job to motivate them to cooperate. Calling them disrespectful doesn’t help.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: https://bonnieharris.com
bh@bonnieharris.com 


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books:

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Our Best Parenting Tool is Our Own Healing06 Apr 202300:49:57

Camille’s early childhood trauma still asserts itself through her body language when she bites her lip. Because of the work Camille has done, her 9 year old daughter, Aria, can call her on it. But that lip still betrays Camille whenever she feels those old triggering emotions. Listen in to learn how to become aware of what your body, if not your words and emotions, may be telling your children and how to neutralize the effect, so you don’t pass on the anxiety of your own traumatic experience. Triggers take us into the past. Awareness of the past can keep us in the moment. Our best parenting tool is our own healing.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It


🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 



Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=






This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
I Should Have Been An Only Child06 May 202100:53:06

Shannon’s twelve year old son has never been okay with his younger sister. It’s as if her birth took something from him that he hasn’t been able to get back. Something broke in him. Trying to get him to be happier and see things differently may only be making things worse. 

Send an email to bh@bonnieharris.com and let us know what you're doing when you listen to the podcast!

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: https://bonnieharris.com
bh@bonnieharris.com 

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books:

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Controlling The Fight29 Apr 202100:49:34

Renee and Gary have different perspectives on their sons’ sibling fights. But both agree the oldest, their Harmony Child, is getting the worst of it from the younger Integrity Child. Their task is in how to allow their boys to fight the good fight while supporting and guiding them to work out those fights.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 


Website: bonnieharris.com 



Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)


            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 


            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 



Audio Books:


The Buttons Audio Course 


Counseling/Coaching



All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 


https://bonnieharris.com/shop/



Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com




This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Community Pieces #3: Child Behavior and Nutrition with Chris Kresser22 Apr 202100:51:32

Worried your picky eater isn’t getting the right nutrition? Do you have a sugar junkie? Do you see the effects of food in your child’s behavior? Learn how food and nutrition shows up in your child’s behavior from an expert in functional medicine.

Website: https://chriskresser.com – sign up for Chris’ newsletter

Podcast: Revolution Health Radio

Star Institute: https://sensoryhealth.org/basic/occupational-therapy-for-children

Tell Me About Your Kids 12/22/20 episode: Eat Your Peas or No Dessert – to learn how to end mealtime battles

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com 


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books:

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Cutting The Invisible Phone Cord15 Apr 202100:39:12

From the consequences of consequences, to relationship and consideration, to inappropriate text messaging, to role playing, Victoria, mother of 7 and 10 year old girls, and I cover a broad range of issues she is managing with her tween. 

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com 


Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 


Audio Books:

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching


All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
 www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
The Toothbrush Battles (and other struggles for power)08 Apr 202100:44:37

Michael is a dad of seven and ten year old kids who push him to his limit. When pushed, he pushes back engaging in endless power struggles. The fight required becomes an ongoing loop of frustration and anger continually fueling the opponent. To step out of the power struggle, Michael knows, is to take responsibility for himself and his problems. Easier said than done.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 

            8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With 

Audio Books:

The Buttons Audio Course 

Counseling/Coaching

All books and audiobooks can be purchased here: 

https://bonnieharris.com/shop/

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com




This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
When Connection Feels Overwhelming01 Apr 202100:43:26

When 12 yr. old Avery complains to her mother about friends who are mean and criticize the way she looks, Heather gets overwhelmed by the magnitude. When Avery is feeling down her reactions get misinterpreted by her mother. When Heather’s button gets pushed, she sees her daughter turning into a brat. But she has learned that she can step back, reframe and find the truth—her daughter is not being a brat, she’s having a hard time. With this understanding, connection can happen. Now Heather needs to learn that she cannot take away her daughter’s struggles, she can only support her in her journey—but that’s all Avery needs. 

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com








This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Puzzle Pieces #5 When Your Buttons Get Pushed25 Mar 202100:34:13

These once in a while episodes are concepts Bonnie has developed over the years that she discusses and ponders with her producer, Adam. They are critical pieces needed to fit together to form the big picture of a connected family. It’s when some of these pieces are missing that parents feel the most frustrated and drained in their attempts at controlling their children. Finding their places in the puzzle can be life changing.

Steps to take after a  button-pushing incident. Do this work when you’re calm.

 1.  Recognize that your buttons are yours. Own them.   

2.   Write down your reactions. Did you yell, threaten? What did you do?

3.   Write your emotions. Did you feel hopeless, enraged, resentful, etc?

4.    What are the assumptions you made? Ask yourself, If I felt that way, what must I have been thinking?

5.   Identify your assumptions and know they are not the truth; they are your perceptions.

6.   Reframe your assumptions by stating facts of the situation or a different perception that leads to more compassion.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents.
Website: bonnieharris.com
All books, products, and services  can be purchased here: https://bonnieharris.com/shop/

Books:           
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (workbook available)           
Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With

Audio Books:           
When Your Kids Push Your Buttons           
Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With

The Buttons Audio Course (includes workbook)
Counseling/Coaching


Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Most But Wrong Kind of Attention18 Mar 202100:51:33

Ashley has 4 girls – the second to youngest is her Integrity Child who pushes her mother to the brink when she is trying so hard to understand why her daughter behaves so differently from the other three. Four girls plus Covid, and Ashley just wants things to change so her defiant one can be more manageable. 

 Related podcast, episode #14 — Puzzle Pieces #1: “Why Would You Do That?” 
More about understanding the meaning of behavior and why addressing the behavior alone misses the mark.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com




This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
How To Be A Selfish Parent (But Not Too)11 Mar 202100:34:48

Lauren is working out the fine-tuning of her parenting with her questions of what she has the right to want for herself vs  her fear of not doing enough for her children. This episode grapples with the difficult daily decisions of, when do I sacrifice my needs for my child? and when do I put myself first with self-care?  Where does my parental authority come in to play and where do I hand it over to my child? Strength comes for Lauren in knowing what she wants, what she has a right to—something important to model for her kids.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Stretched Thin04 Mar 202100:38:14

Covid-related fears and worries are depleting Anne and Kevin so that by bedtime they are fried. Their three girls scramble for their parents’ attention while the parents are left feeling impatient, frustrated and angry. When worries are covered up, integrity kids like Grace see right through it and grab for attention. Unfortunately, her attempts only provoke more impatience and yelling.  

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Does Your Child See You as the Enemy?30 Mar 202300:48:58

Katherine wants her 9 year old to be able to stand up for herself and eventually save the world with her strength of spirit. But in the meantime, she unintentionally undermines that strength by not accepting it right now. Zelda perceives her parents as the enemy because she believes she must fight them to be heard. Her difficult “integrity” temperament worries her parents who get angry when they think she ignores them or says they’re mean. They try to explain, but the fight comes, not when Zelda can’t do what she wants, but when she feels wrong for the wanting. 

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It


🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 



Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=






This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Community Pieces #2 The Kids Are Going To Be Fine25 Feb 202100:34:42

A third grade teacher describes her experiences teaching both remotely and in person during these times of Covid. She shares her frustrations and delights, how she sees her children doing both online and in the classroom, and offers some advice for parents during these hectic times.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
I Was Supposed To Have Taught Him That18 Feb 202100:41:38

Gretchen wants her adolescent son to launch into his teen years with all the good work/study habits she thinks will get him far. Don’t we all. The problem is that’s her agenda. She has to trust her son to work out his own with more guidance and less advice.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Standing Outside Your Children’s Problems11 Feb 202100:54:28

Alan and Angela are exhausted by fear that their children are not getting their needs met during Covid isolation. Their boys fight more in close quarters. They must have friends and opportunities that are not possible to provide during these times. Alan and Angela feel like failures. What they need to know is that what their 3 children need most is parents who can see them through these tough times rather than parents exhausted from the mental anguish of trying to fix it all.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Fighting For The Spotlight04 Feb 202100:39:38

Karina is worn down by the willfulness of her 5 yr. old who not only resists her warnings but seems goaded by them. What she doesn’t want him to do is exactly what he does—and models for his 1 ½ yr. old sister. She reflexively throws out threats and punishments in her attempt to get him to listen. But ends up feeling horrible afterwards. “I’m going to do it anyway” has become his behavior of choice. We find a way to go with that to encourage behavior.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Puzzle Pieces #4 "Keeping Your Kids Connected"28 Jan 202100:41:02

These once in a while episodes are concepts Bonnie has developed over the years that she discusses and ponders with her producer, Adam. They are critical pieces needed to fit together to form the big picture of a connected family. It’s when some of these pieces are missing that parents feel the most frustrated and drained in their attempts at controlling their children. Finding their places in the puzzle can be life changing.

Bonnie and Adam hash over her 4 main steps to insuring connection with your kids right through the teen years—and the best chance of avoiding everything you fear coming with them. Simple but not easy as Adam, as always, hilariously points out. Trust is way more than a one-way street. Once you get the image of an IV into your children’s arms, you won’t forget it.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Screening Into The Void21 Jan 202100:49:08

Rob and Claire’s eleven year old son is feeling the effects of both Covid and more screentime than usual. His emotions are easily triggered and distorted, angering his father and scaring his mother. Both Claire and Zach’s thinking lead to catastrophizing, while Rob wants to be listened to. This world, while quite “normal” these days, can send a tween or a teen into the bliss zone of cyberspace.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com





This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Nobody Likes The Word Chore14 Jan 202100:46:45

Christina is, rightly so, trying to get her 10 and 15 year olds to help out more at home. Her very busy life doesn’t have time to do it all. But she and her kids have been in a feedback loop of resentment, anger and guilt that triggers everyone into disconnect. Why should I? Why can’t you just…? You should know better…. are the questions spinning in Christina’s head that instantly and automatically create that disconnect.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Community Pieces #1: When Conflict between Parents Needs the Big Conversation07 Jan 202100:47:32

Most parenting partners face conflict about how to handle the kids. Conflict quickly triggers anger, resentment and blame. Rarely does the necessary conversation happen after emotions are cooled. Anger and resentment get squashed—but not forgotten. In this first Community Pieces episode, Bonnie talks with mediator and conflict resolution coach, Adar Cohen, who leads big conversations in conflict zones and in family rooms. Bonnie and Adar discuss both the approach and the how-to of the big conversation so understanding results. Listening well is the quickest way to being heard.


Find out more about Adar here:

adarcohen.com

Twitter: @DrAdarCohen

How to Have a Difficult Conversation (a step by step guide)

https://psyche.co/guides/use-mediation-techniques-to-overcome-the-muck-of-blame-and-anger

TED talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZu16ZaLgJM

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Happy New Year From Tell Me About Your Kids!01 Jan 202100:02:49

Thank you for listening to Tell Me About Your Kids in 2020! You've made this podcast a success in so many ways. Stay tuned for all the great episodes we have coming up in 2021. 

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
From Power Struggle To Relationship29 Dec 202000:44:29

2020 ends with a lesson on relationship. Tracy’s children are not too young to begin this important process. Most parents naturally get hung up on what is important to teach and get stuck in the minutia of daily life and chaos with young kids. We forget that the main thing we want our children to learn is to be respectful and considerate. Tracy gets a reminder of this important aspect of parenting and how her issue with getting toys picked up blocks her needed focus on developing a mutually respectful relationship.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
When Your Best Friend Parents Differently23 Mar 202300:48:47

What would it mean for Erica to allow her friend to find her own way thru parenting that works for her? What does she need to give up to be the loving, compassionate friend she wants to be? These are the questions that get answered as Bonnie looks into the critical role of boundaries to determine what is Erica’s business and what is her friend’s. With the intention of helping her 13 year old daughter and friend get unleashed from a 5 year old’s tantrums, Erica wants to impose her better way but in doing so ends up exploding from two years of holding in judgement.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It


🚨 New offer for Tell Me About Your Kids listeners!! 🚨 



Join Thrive Market and Get My Special Discount 

 https://www.tkqlhce.com/click-100687948-15329496

Earth Mama Organics
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=177850&u=3330166&m=22557&urllink=&afftrack=




This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Eat Your Peas or No Dessert22 Dec 202000:44:55

Emily has gotten into a habit of using candy and sweets to get her three kids to eat a bite of everything on their plate. Her intention is good, but she learns that the lesson she is teaching may not be the lesson she wants them to learn. The goal gets lost when the immediate desire is front and center.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
“I’m stupid, you hate me”15 Dec 202000:42:42

Six-year-old Luke is having trouble staying focused with remote learning. He “despises” reading and multiple times a day bemoans that he’s stupid and his mom hates him, much to Ariel’s bewilderment. She of course worries about his self-confidence and tries to convince him that he’s wrong. But her worry about Luke keeps Ariel from seeing what she unintentionally projects onto Luke that contributes to his lack of self-confidence.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Puzzle Pieces #3 Boundaries: Whose job is it, anyway?08 Dec 202000:41:48

These once in a while episodes are concepts Bonnie has developed over the years that she discusses and ponders with her producer, Adam. They are critical pieces needed to fit together to form the big picture of a connected family. It’s when some of these pieces are missing that parents feel the most frustrated and drained in their attempts at controlling their children. Finding their places in the puzzle can be life changing.

Adam and Bonnie discuss the art (and pit-falls) of problem solving—the most important skill you can learn as a parent and teach your children. We also talk about your parent authority, when to use it and when not. And boundaries—understanding whose job or problem is whose so your child doesn’t have to take responsibility for you.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
When Sibling Fights Trigger Parent Anger01 Dec 202000:40:33

Julie returns to the podcast (see Sibling Rivalry eps. 8 and 9) with a deeper layer exposed. We now look at why she gets so mad when her boys fight. She knows the fights are over nothing, she knows they can probably work it out, but she can’t stand the fighting, which triggers her rage and feeling out of control. Hang in till the end.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Creating Chaos Out Of Nothing24 Nov 202000:44:25

Lauren’s two boys, 7 and 11 are good examples of Integrity and Harmony kids. Jack’s easy-going, cooperative nature makes Lauren and her husband all the more determined to try to control the younger Bobby, whose attention-grabbing, highly frustrating behaviors are getting him in trouble at school. His parents are beginning to see him as the problem.


Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com




This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Building Bridges Out Of Trauma17 Nov 202000:43:41

Anne and her 10 year old son live alone while she and her husband have a trial separation. In her desire to protect her son from what she experienced at 10, Anne controls the environment of their home to unconsciously insure the peace and calm she thinks necessary to prevent the hurt and danger she fears from any amount of disruption.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Puzzle Pieces #2 The Test Of Covid—For Better Or For Worse?10 Nov 202000:26:56

We may all be sharing the same pandemic but how we each deal with it is infinitely different. It comes down to relationship—relationship with yourself, with your partner, with each child. Being thrown together in this pandemic pushes relationships to the ultimate test. Can I live with myself, can I live with you, without exhausting struggles? Do you feel trapped and forced or do you see this as an opportunity? Do you drain out day after day or actively refuel?

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
It's Hard To Deal With Someone Else's Grief03 Nov 202000:47:41

Two kids, two temperaments, two developmental stages experience the death of their father. Leah is managing as best she can to accommodate her children’s experience of that death. But the younger child was only 2.5 – hard to know what the emotional effect of that death had on him. Sometimes an adult perspective can skew what is not understood about a very undeveloped brain and therefore behavioral cues can be misinterpreted.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Is It OK To Love Your Teenager With Conditions?27 Oct 202000:52:24

Jane’s teenage son is pulling away, getting secretive, dropping grades, and numbing out in his room on his computer. This common scenario typically provokes fear in parents leading to clutching, micromanaging, blame, and coming down harder with restrictions, and sending messages that love and acceptance is given when behavior and grades improve—exactly the opposite of what is needed. This is unintentional of course—but Ned’s behavior signals the intention he feels.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Puzzle Pieces #1 "Why Would You Do That?"20 Oct 202000:48:25

Puzzle Pieces

These once in a while episodes are concepts Bonnie has developed over the years that she discusses and ponders with her producer, Adam. They are critical pieces needed to fit together to form the big picture of a connected family. It’s when some of these pieces are missing that parents feel the most frustrated and drained in their attempts at controlling their children. Finding their places in the puzzle can be life changing.

#1 “Why Would You Do That?” Understanding Behavior

Our culture doesn’t understand what behavior is, what it shows us, and what we need to do to have an effect on it. Listen in to learn how to have the most influence on your child’s unwanted behavior. Hint: It’s not punishment or consequences.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com






This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
When Your Child Believes He’s Not Enough16 Mar 202300:49:14

How do you reconnect with a child who has pushed you away because he believes he has failed you? How do answer an angry child who yells, “If yelling at you is the way I express my anger, why shouldn’t I be allowed to do that?” Ginger has long suffered from depression and when it hit rock bottom, her life turned upside down. Her ex got custody of the kids and now she’s fighting to get them back. The divorce, depression, and hospitalization understandably provoked fear and anger in her 9 and 11 year olds. Not knowing who can be trusted has led the 11 year old to see one perspective only and that means shutting his mom out to protect himself. 

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

https://linktr.ee/bonnieharrisparenting

Website: bonnieharris.com 

Email: bh@bonnieharris.com

Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch

 www.echofinch.com


Use this link to purchase Bonnie's audiobook on Audible

When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It


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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Stubborn Kid, Frustrated Parents13 Oct 202000:49:22

Amy and John have a 4.5 year old integrity child who has gotten into a rather rough physical fight with her best friend. Fiona also seems to be “refusing” to use the toilet. Where does keeping secrets fit in the picture of Fiona’s desires?

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
The Orchid Child and the Dandelion Child Pt. 206 Oct 202000:23:02

This is part 2 of Bonnie's conversation with Mackenzie.

Bonnie’s descriptions of “Integrity and Harmony” kids come from the 30 years of research done on the “Orchid and Dandelion” children which she discusses in Pt. 2. And we hear how Mackenzie puts her learning into practice to help her son trust his mom and feel heard.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
Who is this child and where did he come from? Pt. 129 Sep 202000:39:36

Mackenzie’s parenting turned a major corner when she understood that her very demanding, exhausting son is what Bonnie calls an “Integrity Child”. This revolutionary understanding about the child who “won’t take no for an answer” can flip your mindset so compassion and understanding replaces anger, criticism, and frustrated attempts to get this child to change. And when battles stop, the integrity child can remove his armor.

Bonnie Harris, MS.Ed., director of Connective Parenting, 30+ years of coaching, teaching, and writing for parents. 

Website: bonnieharris.com - https://bonnieharris.com

Books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons/)

            Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You’ll Love to Live With (https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/confident-parents-remarkable-kids/)

Audio books: https://bonnieharris.com/books-etc/audio-book-downloads/
 
Produced, mixed, and scored by Echo Finch
www.echofinch.com



This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit connectiveparenting.substack.com
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