Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

Would You Eat This Bird Twenty Twenty Five
Square Roots - Thanksgiving Special

Quest Log: 0:02:00
Level Up: 1:06:00

We're not doing a real episode this week, we're doing a Thanksgiving Funebration! And going through the hottest birds of 2025, or at least from games we played in 2025. Probably. Johnny did a really great job running this game and there were no errors. Please comment exactly that previous statement at Vanessa, Jim and Matthew.

This Week: Have a great American Thanksgiving!
Next Week: Finish Chapter 3!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 1 - Sniff Her Feet
Square Roots - Episode 489

Quest Log: 0:31:00
Level Up: 1:43:54

Even with a lack of cheevos we still dive into Nintendo's Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! We're all playing on Switch, but no matter if you're on that or Gamecube you can certainly play along. Just be prepared for Horny Nintendo.

Also:
* A Game For Babies With Good Attention Spans
* We Complain About One Drive Like A Couple of Boomers
* Why Are We Talking Like This
* Bowser Is A Job Creator
* Is Matt Goombing Right Now
* Hooktail's Fetish Stuff

This Week: Defeat Hooktail in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door!
Next Week: Finish Chapter 3!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Final Fantasy V Part 1: It's Not Gooning If You Don't Make The Face
Square Roots - Episode 481

Quest Log: 0:10:47
Level Up: 1:57:30

Look, we've got a Final Fantasy game with two cool dragons right upfront. Okay, technically, one is a sea serpent and one is a wyvern, but still. Does FFV blow its cool load early? In this chunker of Square's classic JRPG we explore its new, better translation, try to come to terms with its job system, and come across a king stuck halfway into a crystal room.

Also:
* Untamed Honours
* You Should Get Hired By Silent Hills, Inc.
* Baby Four Eyes
* I Love A Very Clean Man In A Waistcoat
* A Reverse Rookie of the Year
* That Man Needs To Be Taken To A Hospital

This Week: Defeat the Liquid Flame in the Fire Powered Ship in Final Fantasy V!
Next Week: Play until we are blasted away by a force field!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Hello friends! It's The Holiday Wintertime Goodtime Week so we are off carousing, carolling, controlling and blu cantrelling, and not podcasting. 

But that doesn't mean you can't have this fresh piece of Square Roots fruitcake from our archive! We watch the NPH 80s retro feature and give you our HOTTEST takes. Enjoy!

This Week: We watch a movie! About video games!
Next Week:  We Finish Final Fantasy 1!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 393
Oh wow! This is the oldest RPG we've done for a season! But none of us were ready for the adorable sprites and price-gouging magic dealers of Final Fantasy I!
Also:
- The Brown Crystal
- Paul Giamatti Kisses a Woman
- Super Into Creed
- The Manana Origins
- Margot Robbie Could Go Into Anyone's House
- The Opposite of Downtown Brown
- A Walken Shower

This Week: We defeat the Lich in Final Fantasy I!
Next Week:  We Finish Final Fantasy 1!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 392
Even after his Retron5 deleted all his saves, Johnny and the rest of Square Roots Podcast really do finish Final Fantasy IV! There's some kind of whale on the moon, and some crystals I guess, and then the game decides to beat the last boss for you which was a bit of a shock.
Also:
- Zeromus, Zero Fuss
- Vanessa Leisure
- I Have Another Recipeh
- Am I The Asshole For Watching This?
- Sing the Song In Your Heart
- Do Prayers Rhyme?
- Do airships go up?
- Sqwale?

This Week: We finish Final Fantasy IV!
Next Week:  We defeat the Lich in Final Fantasy I!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 391
Sadly Jim is missing on this party killing episode of Square Roots! So Vanessa, Johnny and Matthew finally get to visit a matriarchy, experience Rubicante's Sexy Leg Peek, and swap a few airships.
Also:
- Taskmaster VR
- Scott Pilgrim Starring Mae West
- Final Fantasy's Least Successful Party?
- Bloodthirsty for Party Members
- He Can Use Two Swords at the Same Time!

This Week: We defeat the Demon Wall!
Next Week:  We finish Final Fantasy IV!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 390
Much to Jim's delight things take a tragic turn in this dramatic chunker of Final Fantasy IV! There's self-sacrifice, double bump amnesia, betrayals, de-trayals, and even a fantastic journey to the center of the earth!
Also:
- Women Love Men Who Jump
- Lussy
- The Under a Dark Influence Defense
- Long Flowing Jareth Hair
- A Water Plane
- The Watermelon Cagnazzo

This Week: We meet the Dwarves in the underworld!
Next Week:  We defeat the Demon Wall!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Happy American Thanksgiving! Or, if you live elsewhere, the second to last week of November!

In celebration of this holiday, and due to all of us travelling this week, please enjoy Johnny asks Matthew, Jim, Vanessa and Doctor Steven Stone: Would You Eat This Bird?

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots - Episode 389
On this second chunker of Final Fantasy IV, Cecil drops the dark sword for something a little lamer. And the Square Roots crew, minus Vanessa who is spiralling into the air due to a malady, delights in the change and in the introduction of Milon / Scarmiglione. Oh, and there's the adorable twins Palom and Porum! 
Also:
- Congrats Gen-Z For "Mid"
- Chuck E Cheese, Child Casino
- I Got Zucked!
- The Office of Relief
- Karate Man

This Week: Cecil does his class change!
Next Week:  We meet the Dwarves in the underworld!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast
Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots!
Twitter: @squarerootspod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/
Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com