Sports R Dumb – Details, episodes & analysis

It’s Joey’s birthday celebration, and he’s already been distressed by a cake promotion at his local grocery store, but we’re powering through! Unfortunately, today’s topic is also powering through sports, and that’s real dumb.

We’re seeing just about every player doing the “too small” taunt to opponents. And people are referring to everyone as “him,” or, even worse, saying, “I’m him” after making a play. A person in Joey’s rec league did this. As Sean notes, if you are paying to play in a league, you are, in fact, not him.

Plus, Joey sent a sternly worded email that actually got a result! And tell us this Relient K song isn’t a banger from an album with a beautiful punny title.

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What do the Little League World Series and a puddle of drool have in common? They both feel sort of icky to see on your TV. Yet, year after year, people watch these children play baseball, sometimes getting mad when they make mistakes. You know, because they're not even teenagers, and none of us were graceful back then.

Joey and Sean both went to separate Texas Rangers games within the past week. Beyond that, Joey had a weird dinner experience, and Sean has a hot take about live baseball.

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When we recorded this, the Dallas Mavericks had just won their last game to stay alive in the NBA Finals. We know that good luck did not continue for Sean—congrats to the Boston Celtics on an NBA-record 18th championship.

Anyway, it looks like TNT is going to lose its media rights to broadcast NBA games. And that's not the only TV snafu going on. Have you ever tried to watch a more obscure game? It's rough! Sean's just trying to catch Switzerland vs. Hungary, and Joey's just trying to make jokes like how can they be Hungary when they're right by Turkey and Greece?

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For about 15 years, Joey played fantasy football. He, fortunately, escaped the rubble a few years back, but Sean is still in the endless cycle of torture. Drafting players is fun. Managing those players throughout the season is HIGHLY frustrating. But boy, it's fun to hear Sean get riled up about it.

On the plus side, the rise of fantasy football did give us the excellent Fantasy Files commercials. Here are some of the highlights. 

We're also covering a silly sports cliche about having the right pieces. And sorry that Sean talks about his fantasy team. We know that's always gross. Just like fantasy football in general.

Most sports have salary caps. Though they're designed as a way to "increase parity" across sports, these salary caps really just limit what a player can earn. Sean thinks we should rally together as fans to boycott sports until they get rid of salary caps. This will not happen but it's an admirable thought.

Plus, have you ever played the lottery? Wouldn't it have been nice to win a jackpot of $1.34 billion (which turned into $433.7 million after taxes on the lump sum)? Or maybe you'd rather prefer a nice fancy bidet, instead.

Sean also shares his grievances with pickleball, while Joey somehow remembers a chaotic ultimate frisbee moment from high school. And of course, a silly sports cliche about when people arrive at a practice facility.

Kyler Murray just signed a $230.5 million deal. That's a lot of money, but we're more interested in the particulars of his contract. Namely, the part that said he had to watch four hours of game film a week and couldn't be distracted by the Internet, video games, TV, or anything else. You know, like he were a child and not a professional athlete. 

Meanwhile, Sean attends a birthday party of his friend's child and eats some of the best cake balls he's ever had. Do you also eat dinner before you go someplace where you think you might not enjoy the meal you're eating? Sean does, and Joey thinks that's kind of strange.

Plus, Sean almost rages against Elon Musk and why the University of Oklahoma calls itself OU, but those are topics for another episode. Instead, we're sharing a story from Sean's personal sporting life. And of course, we still have a silly sports cliche about the playing style of certain athletes.

Are you following us on Instagram? It's the only platform we're on, so if you're not on Instagram (and we get it, they're making dumb changes), feel free to just shout loudly. We'll hear you.

You cross home plate in baseball and that's a score. A basket in basketball is a score. But tennis scoring is pretty bonkers: Love, 15, 30, 40, game.

We're diving into the history of where "love" comes from in scoring, and trying to determine once and for all where this wacky scoring system came from. We've never done so much research for an episode, so enjoy our hard work!

Plus, a concerning tweet about boys from Cristiano Ronaldo and a silly sports cliche about the measurement of sports.

Sean doesn't know if hell is high, but today's topic pisses him off to high hell. When a team wants to build a new ballpark (and it's often a want, not a need), it turns to its city to help pay for it. The billionaire owners don't pay for it, the hardworking citizens do. That's quite dumb.

Joey and Sean also discuss the corporate feel of the new Texas Rangers stadium, plus a terrible night out for a 21-year-old Sean after drinking a ridiculous beverage from a bar.

Plus, a tweet that wasn't even good in 2013 and a sports cliche about the types of faces we have.

At one point in the history of baseball, a lot of people were using steroids. But Hall of Fame voters think some of those players shouldn't be enshrined in Cooperstown. Like Barry Bonds (who hit lots of home runs) or Pete Rose (who bet on his own team). And that rankles Sean's feathers.

Joey and Sean also discuss the Louisville Slugger Museum and away messages from the days of AOL Instant Messenger (which we lovingly called AIM, duh).

Plus, a perplexing tweet from Ja Morant and a tremendous sports cliche about how good players can be.

A lot of golfers are defecting from the PGA to LIV, which is backed by Saudi Arabia. It's been a popular topic of discussion among the media, but Sean has a more interesting query: is golf even a sport?

Sean doesn't think so. One of his reasons is John Daly, seen here looking like he's having a grand ol' time. Meanwhile, do you know how to escape from an alligator when it's trying to attack you?

Plus, a tweet that shows LeBron James has too much time on his hands, and a silly sports cliche about