Shameless Leadership – Details, episodes & analysis

While I’m not much of a history buff, I am fascinated by humans and human behavior - even ancient human behavior. So, when presented with the opportunity to examine historical models of leadership in my Masters of Organizational Leadership program, I was all in.  In studying leadership models across centuries and then within the decades of the last 120 years, there are undeniable patterns of leadership that are mostly about power and dominance and almost exclusively about the power and dominance of men.  In this episode, we will look at historical models of leadership which for centuries involved leaders who could easily be characterized as narcissists with their tyrannical, manipulative behavior in which they were commonly charming and gaslighting their followers, especially women, in equal proportion. It’s pretty fascinating to see how much of this behavior endures in leadership models today.   When we look at these models of leadership, we can see how these depictions of leaders over time have continued to “inspire” models of leadership today. We have repeatedly created systems and structures of leadership that center leaders in roles to have power OVER their followers rather than power WITH their followers.   Understanding the patterns present in these systems can be useful in addressing, disrupting, and dismantling the sexist power structures that commonly exist in these systems, even as we claim to have created new systems that include equal rights for all regardless of gender.   This episode will open your eyes to how we are still very much settling for, if not embracing, aspects of historical models of leadership to the great detriment of women and people who carry marginalized identities. Yet, hope is not lost. There is still time to do better. And, we will.  Link mentioned: Book: Burnout by Emily Nagoski, PhD and Amelia Nagoski, DMA We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have been in countless rooms over the last few years where the person leading designates the space a “safe space”. This designation is usually given right before an invitation for people to share something that may require some level of vulnerability. While I think the intentions of the folks saying this are good, I think there is actually more potential for harm than good when we deem a space a “safe space” without very seriously considering what creates actual safety for people and how tremendously one person’s needs for safety can vary from the next. We also need to recognize that anyone’s needs around safety can change on a day-to-day basis. So, it is not on a leader to claim a space as “safe” because there is no way a leader can guarantee actual safety.   I always say that a space is only as safe as the person who feels the least amount of safety deems it to be.   While we cannot guarantee safety, there are definitely steps we can take to build a culture of trust and psychological safety that can go a long way. If you’re looking to build a culture of safety there are a handful of things to consider.   If I were to come into your organization and do a psychological safety audit of sorts, here are some things I would examine: How do people talk to each other How do people talk about each other How are mistakes handled How do leaders apologize and take ownership of their mistakes How is support demonstrated in good times and bad How are people given the opportunity to get to know one another as humans - not just coworkers with specific skill sets What routines and rituals are in place that build trust over time How transparent are leaders How accessible are leaders to all levels of team members What is the reputation of the HR department Does HR make it clear what reportable offenses are and how to report them In this episode, I talk about steps you can take to build a foundation of trust and psychological safety so that when you are on the brink of asking people to share ideas or be vulnerable you don’t need to make a “safe space” announcement because safety is implied, felt, and held automatically.   We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jill Castle is one of the nation’s premier childhood nutrition experts. She is the founder and CEO of The Nourished Child®, a nutrition education website and podcast for parents. She is the author of 6 books that support children’s health and nutrition, including her newest book, Kids Thrive at Every Size. Known for her ability to blend current research, practical application, and common sense, Jill believes that children can thrive at every size. With her paradigm-shifting, whole-child approach, she inspires parents, healthcare professionals, and organizations that serve children and families to think differently about young people’s health and well-being. Jill is a sought-after speaker, advisor, and media contributor. She serves as an expert reviewer for Parents.com, and has been featured as a guest expert in CNN, The Washington Post, The New York Times, Forbes, Newsweek, and Time, to name a few. Jill is also a Shameless Mom to four adult-ish children and lives in Massachusetts with her husband. I’m lucky enough to call Jill a friend. When she shared her concept for this book with me, I knew I had to share her work with you all. We have dedicated a number of episodes to talking about women, body image, and Diet Culture. But, we haven’t talked as much about kids, body image, and Diet Culture. It is time for this conversation and Jill is the best person to talk about it with.  Listen in to hear Jill share: A sneak peek into what it’s like parenting 4 young adults Common worries for parents of children who have larger or smaller sized bodies and what might surprise you about your child’s size The Fix-Size model vs Embrace-Size model of approaching your child’s body size How growing up with a smaller or larger body makes life more challenging for kids today The significant difference between feeding and eating and how you might be helicopter feeding your child(ren) The impact of family culture beyond food & nutrition when raising a healthy child The reality that most kids experience body dissatisfaction across all genders, all sizes - and starting as early as age 3 Links Mentioned: Join my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for small business owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat Get the Book: Pre-order Kids Thrive at Every Size and get Jill’s pre-order bonuses! Connect with Jill: thenourishedchild.com Hire Jill to speak of consult: jillcastle.com Jill on IG: @i.am.pediRD Jill on FB: facebook.com/thenourishedchild Jill on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jillcastle Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Hoyt is certified in Traumatic Stress Studies and is the founder of Mending Trauma, a digital mental health company that specializes in trauma recovery. As a former professor, Dr. Hoyt led research teams in Africa looking at mass trauma, agency, and forgiveness. She transitioned into the online mental health space during the pandemic in order to help fill the growing mental health need. Dr. Hoyt is obsessed with teaching others to reprogram their brains and heal their nervous systems so they can break generational cycles and live with more joy. She is a mom of 5 kids, 3 of whom are differently abled. She lives with her husband and children in the Ozark mountains. I appreciated this conversation with Amy beyond measure. As weird as it sounds, I love talking about trauma, especially with a seasoned expert. I had so many lightbulb moments with Amy, as I realized some of my own symptoms of trauma. Whether you have endured small or large-scale traumas in your life, it’s likely you will see yourself in parts of this conversation - allowing you to connect some dots that may lead to some healing.  Listen in to hear Amy share: What trauma is by definition: The symptoms of trauma The symptoms of trauma that are more prevalent in moms The difference between hypervigilance and hyperarousal The difference between trauma and toxic stress The power of being benevolently curious The two ways trauma is passed down to our children: genetically and through our own behavioral interactions with them  How to use micro steps to start processing your trauma in gentle ways  The importance of processing the collective trauma of COVID and its impact on our daily lives, our work, and motherhood Links mentioned: Join My September Retreat for Women Leaders at Work: Influence & Ignite: Be the Boss Your People Have Been Waiting For: shamelessmom.com/leaders Join my October Retreat for Women Entrepreneurs: Influence & Ignite: Be the CEO and Thought Leader You Were Born to Be: shamelessmom.com/bizretreat Connect with Amy and her Team: www.mendingtrauma.com Take the Trauma Quiz to find out your trauma response: www.mendingtrauma.com/quiz Amy’s Podcast: The Mending Trauma Podcast Amy on IG Amy on FB Mending Trauma on FB Amy on LinkedIn We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

5 years ago, my husband and I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary in New Orleans. It was a ton of fun. It was near the end of that trip that we started talking about, “What will we do for 15 years??” Of course, 15 years felt like decades away at the time. And it kind of was. While 5 years is 5 years no matter how you measure it, the way the world has changed over the last 5 years feels like a lifetime of change at breakneck speed.   5 years ago, we talked about how it would be so fun to celebrate our 15-year anniversary in Napa, with dinner at the French Laundry (a super fancy restaurant we had heard about through our restaurant industry friends.)   This plan seems silly now. Spending that kind of money on a meal when my husband has been unemployed for months. And, even before his layoff, our priorities have shifted and evolved as the world has shifted and evolved.   With so many unknowns, we had decided we would just go out to dinner at a modest local restaurant.   And, it was perfect! It was exactly what we needed on that day. We didn’t need the thing we thought we wanted 5 years ago.   While we once had these lavish expectations for this occasion, our reality called for something else. And that something else was exactly what we needed.   That doesn’t mean that the lavish expectation isn’t still sitting with me. It is. But I have trained myself to let go of expectations because reality has shown up to laugh in my face so many times over the last few years. I know I’m not alone in this. I know most (all?) of you have also experienced this!  So, as we navigate this world of managing our expectations vs. our realities, how do we sit with outcomes? In this episode, I share 6 outcomes I’ve experienced from sitting in reality when my expectations have been stolen, shifted, or flipped upside down. Links mentioned: Join My September Retreat for Women Leaders at Work: Influence & Ignite: Be the Boss Your People Have Been Waiting For: shamelessmom.com/leaders Join my October Retreat for Women Entrepreneurs: Influence & Ignite: Be the CEO and Thought Leader You Were Born to Be: shamelessmom.com/bizretreat We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Heather Salazar is the President and CEO of Pink Ribbon Good. As a breast cancer survivor, Heather knows firsthand what many women and men really need during their cancer battle: support. Through her work with Pink Ribbon Good, Heather makes sure individuals fighting breast and gynecological cancers are supported with healthy meals, rides to treatment, housecleaning kits, and peer support and education– all at no cost to the patient, and all because no one travels this road alone. Heather graduated with a bachelor's degree in psychology from Wright State University in Communication and Social Work. Heather and her family have been featured in People magazine, on The Today Show, and the Tamron Hall Show. Heather and I decided to release this episode at this time because September is Gynecological Cancer Awareness Month and October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It is likely that every single person who listens to this episode has had their life touched in some way by these kinds of cancers. If you haven’t yet, you will.   Listen in to hear Heather share: How she grew her family by adopting a baby whose mom, Alexis, had stage 4 cancer The loss of Alexis and then Heather’s own breast cancer diagnosis shortly after Alexis’s death How she started Pink Ribbon Good - as someone who hates pink ribbons How she was able to charge forward and make assumptions that she would be successful in her mission even when she had self-doubt How she is supporting food-insecure and transportation-insecure people who are in breast and gynecological cancer treatment The sage advice of her investor, Pat, who gave her 45K and told her to go find doers, donors, door openers Links mentioned: Join My September Retreat for Women Leaders at Work: Influence & Ignite: Be the Boss Your People Have Been Waiting For: shamelessmom.com/leaders Join my October Retreat for Women Entrepreneurs: Influence & Ignite: Be the CEO and Thought Leader You Were Born to Be: shamelessmom.com/bizretreat Connect with Heather and Pink Ribbon Good: Pinkribbongood.org Pink Ribbon Good on Twitter Pink Ribbon Good on IG Heather on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are naturally programmed to find the shortest route from Point A to Point B. We want to be fast and efficient. We don’t want to waste time with unnecessary detours. We want to check the box that signals DONE. Mission accomplished. Task completed.   However, if you look back at anything you’ve done in life that took a little extra time or required a detour (that might have been very frustrating at the moment), you can likely see some sort of gift or a little bit of magic that you wouldn’t have been able to receive if you swiftly moved from Point A to Point B without interruption, distraction or detour. It is the detours and the squiggly, indirect routes from Point A to Point B that create space for unique opportunities to build relationships, learn some of life’s best lessons, charter new territory, practice a new skill, fumble and fail your way forward, grow in ways you didn’t know you needed to grow, find little bits of magic you didn’t know you were looking for.  In this episode, I talk through why the squiggly, indirect route is often the best route - even if you’re the kind of person (like me!) who doesn’t like to waste a single moment on something that appears to be unnecessary at the onset. Links mentioned: Join My September Retreat for Women Leaders at Work: Influence & Ignite: Be the Boss Your People Have Been Waiting For: shamelessmom.com/leaders Join my October Retreat for Women Entrepreneurs: Influence & Ignite: Be the CEO and Thought Leader You Were Born to Be: shamelessmom.com/bizretreat We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Susie Pettit has been helping women live the lives they love for over 20 years. She is the podcast host of the Love Your Life Show, offers the super successful Parenting Teens Survival Course, and runs a monthly membership for Midlife Warriors. She is a certified Parent, Life + Wellness Coach, and a mom of 5 sons ages 18-25. Susie helps women live lives that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside. She spent more than half her life living a life she did not love; as a people pleaser and codependent perfectionist in constant pursuit of a ‘Martyr of the Year’ award.  She has the breadth of experience to teach firsthand about setting healthy boundaries, beating your inner critic, conscious parenting, and how to use mindfulness-based tools to beat overwhelm and anxiety.  Listen in to hear Susie share: The benefits of parenting with faith in the universe over fear What codependent parenting looks like Steps to raise more confident, less anxious kids The importance of parenting your tweens/teens/young adults differently than you parented your 0-9 year olds - moving from the role of “manager” to “consultant” Your 3 most important jobs as a parent: Some assumptions parents make that lead to unnecessary conflict or drama in the house Her 5 Pillars of Parenting Teens Links mentioned: Join My September Retreat for Women Leaders at Work: Influence & Ignite: Be the Boss Your People Have Been Waiting For: shamelessmom.com/leaders Join my October Retreat for Women Entrepreneurs: Influence & Ignite: Be the CEO and Thought Leader You Were Born to Be: shamelessmom.com/bizretreat Susie’s special tips for Shameless Moms: https://smbwell.com/sara Link to Co dependency quiz: smbwell.com/coda Connect with Susie: smbwell.com Susie on IG Susie on FB Get Susie’s newsletter: smbwell.com/subscribe Susie’s Parenting Teens Program: smbwell.com/parenting Susie’s Life Coaching Program: smbwell.com/lifeschool  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Before you jump to conclusions about the title of this episode, rest assured that I am not suggesting we take away back-to-school and live in eternal summer. Quite the opposite. Get those kids in school. Keep them there. For a very long time. No more summers, 3-day weekends, mid-winter breaks. None of it. All school, all the time. Ha! Can you tell I’m thrilled that it’s finally back-to-school season?! In this episode, I’m inviting you to Take Back Back-to-School by taking back this season to center yourself. You very likely just spent the last 3 or so months centering your kids, your family, and perhaps your extended family in one million ways. NOW?? This is your time.   September is pretty much New Years for moms. Happy New Year! We made it!!  Now that you made it, what will you do with this time, this season, these last 4 months of 2023?   I’m going to invite you to take this time for you. Make it about your needs. Center yourself.   In this episode, I’ll share 3 ways you can get started.   Happy September, Mamas! Happy New Years! WE MADE IT! Links mentioned: Join My September Retreat for Women Leaders at Work: Influence & Ignite: Be the Boss Your People Have Been Waiting For: shamelessmom.com/leaders Join my October Retreat for Women Entrepreneurs: Influence & Ignite: Be the CEO and Thought Leader You Were Born to Be: shamelessmom.com/bizretreat We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Angela E. Matthews is an Investor, Investment Coach, and the founder of the Happy Investor Method™, where her goal is to make investing accessible and fun for all. As an experienced investor and investment trainer, she has conducted workshops, seminars, and one-on-one coaching with thousands of individuals and businesses from all walks of life. A first-generation investor, she was making $40,000 a year and had six figures in debt when she taught herself how to generate multiple 6 figures passively in the stock market, and has since helped others make thousands of dollars doing the same. I absolutely loved this conversation. Ange took something that I find so daunting and unapproachable - the stock market - and made it simple, fun, and accessible! If you’re at all curious about making your money make more money for you in low-stakes ways (like $50, not $10,000!), you will love Ange and this conversation.  Listen in to hear Ange share: How she self-funded her 8-month maternity leave  The power of making money make money for you The mistakes she made early on in investing and how you can avoid the same mistakes Specific steps to take to start investing in low-stakes ways in order to grow your learning curve and confidence Why she works as a passive investor and how she differs from a day trader How to choose companies to invest in What apps to use for buying stocks  The deep significance of building generational wealth for her and her children Links mentioned: https://happyinvestormethod.com/  Ange on Facebook Ange on Twitter Ange on Instagram  Ange on LinkedIn We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices