Sex Help for Smart People – Details, episodes & analysis

This episode covers when to see a therapist and when to seek out coaching, strengths and weaknesses of both (because all modalities have pros and cons), and what to watch out for. I'll also go over different types of therapy and different types of coaching, and which versions are good for what situations and challenges, in my perspective. 

This is part of a series of sessions that aim to help you understand the various options for help available to you. 

Lit & Luscious Women's Retreat in Hawaii January 2026 is open for registration and early-bird discount! Come to Hawaii with me & co-host Kama Hagar for The Most Fun Retreat Ever Made -- just for you. 

Go to https://www.kamahagar.com/retreat-page/ to register now and give your future self the best gift ever.  

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.

Ever want to know what actually happens in coaching sessions? This episode is story time. I’m going to give you a peek inside my office at what we did in several different sessions this week. Through these little stories, you will get a flavor of the kinds of activities we do in my particular coaching practice, and get a sense of the kinds of help available to you as an individual or a couple who wants to have a better love life. Take a listen and discover how progress and solving problems can actually be fun!

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.

This episode will walk you through the 5 main types of emotional strings we attach to sex that can really tank a couple’s fun together. I'll explain why this can be a hidden, but very common, reason for sexual avoidance. Then I’ll help you inventory this in your relationship and start looking at how to release the weight so you can have more fun, carefree, pleasurable playtime.

Lit & Luscious Women's Retreat in Hawaii January 2026 is open for registration and early-bird discount! Come to Hawaii with me & co-host Kama Hagar for The Most Fun Retreat Ever Made -- just for you. 

Go to https://www.kamahagar.com/retreat-page/ to register now and give your future self the best gift ever.  

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.

Whether you’re partnered or not, flirting is such an important skill and one that most people don’t spend nearly enough time learning to do well.  I sure didn't, but I was so excited to learn about how to flirt well. 

This episode will help you understand why it's important to flirt-- including in long-term relationships. Plus, we'll cover how to avoid creepy or needy vibes, how to appreciate people’s looks without de-humanizing them, the 6 key ways to flirt, and how to use grounded sexual energy to make your flirting actually work well for you and your lucky receiver. 

Lit & Luscious Women's Retreat in Hawaii January 2026 is open for registration and early-bird discount! Come to Hawaii with me & co-host Kama Hagar for The Most Fun Retreat Ever Made -- just for you. 

Go to https://www.kamahagar.com/retreat-page/ to register now and give your future self the best gift ever.  

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.

Most of us don’t talk openly and honestly about our relationship and sexual challenges. So it’s no wonder that we look around us at everyone else and assume they are having great sex and easy relationships. Today we're talking about how that mistake can actually harm us. 

We're diving into the incredibly common habit of "Compare and Despair" as it applies to our relationships and sex lives. We'll talk about why you are more normal than you may think, no matter what struggles you're having, and why assuming others are are having better, easier relationships is 1) not true and 2) not helping you. We’ll also talk about how to stop this energy sapping habit, and how that can help you feel better now, while also making it easier to make changes you'd like for your future. 

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.

Are you feeling disappointed about anything in your relationship or sex life?

Disappointment in relationships and sex is super normal. Some disappointment is because the situation is really not working for us and we need to take some sort of action (like leave, have some tough conversations, or get help). Other disappointments are simply because it's not possible for another person to give us 100% of what we want all the time. 

Today we're taking a look under the hood at this second kind of disappointment. The kind that happens when our partner can't give us everything we want. Everyone runs into this at some point. When we stop resisting our disappointment and start accepting and even laughing at it, we get a lot of our power and energy back. We're better able to stay connected and make good decisions about what realistically needs to change. 

This episode will help you understand and normalize feeling disappointed and frustrated about not getting everything you want. It will help take the burden out of it and give you some ideas about how to let yourself be disappointed without letting it poison your sexual and romantic connections. 

Lit & Luscious Women's Retreat in Hawaii January 2026 is open for registration and early-bird discount! Come to Hawaii with me & co-host Kama Hagar for The Most Fun Retreat Ever Made -- just for you. 

Go to https://www.kamahagar.com/retreat-page/ to register now and give your future self the best gift ever.  

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.

Attuning well to your partner feels great for both of you. It enables emotional intimacy, which makes sexy time way better and much more likely to happen. It's also key for the special kind of non-verbal communication required in physical intimacy. But how do we do it well? 

This episode will walk you through how to attune well to your partner. It will also help you avoid the top 3 big things that get in the way of attunement, understand how to differentiate attuning from projecting on someone, and give you a satisfying, easy practice that will help you get great at it. 

Lit & Luscious Women's Retreat in Hawaii January 2026 is open for registration and early-bird discount! Come to Hawaii with me & co-host Kama Hagar for The Most Fun Retreat Ever Made -- just for you. 

Go to https://www.kamahagar.com/retreat-page/ to register now and give your future self the best gift ever.  

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.

This episode is a must for anyone diving into or interested in dipping a toe into the world of BDSM. We cover everything from basic definitions: what is BDSM? How is it different from kink? What are the differences among Dom(mme)/Sub play, Sadomasochism, and Bondage and Discipline? How do you find a local scene or partners? What are some things to watch out for? What are some of the best things about BDSM and what kind of freedom might you find in that type of sexual play? 

I'm joined by Femme Domme and fellow coach Thistle AKA Coach Rose. You can find her at: https://www.thistleandrosecoaching.com/ or on Fetlife under Coach Thistle. 

Lit & Luscious Women's Retreat in Hawaii January 2026 is open for registration and early-bird discount! Come to Hawaii with me & co-host Kama Hagar for The Most Fun Retreat Ever Made -- just for you. 

Go to https://www.kamahagar.com/retreat-page/ to register now and give your future self the best gift ever.  

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.

This episode helps couples troubleshoot problems around initiating sexy time. In it, I guide you through how to talk over two of the most important topics for you and your partner to cover:

1) How are we dividing up initiation and do we both like the split? If not, what kind of split might feel better to each of us and why?

2) Are the initiation styles we've been using working as well as they can for both of us? How can we improve them?

We'll cover some styles of initiation that can fall flat and why, plus other common pitfalls. I'll also help you distinguish between initiation problems and other sexual challenges in relationships. As always, this episode will emphasize the need to ensure ongoing consent, pleasure, and enthusiasm from each partner, rather than assuming that "initiation" means some sort of foregone conclusion.  

Join me and discover how to troubleshoot your own challenges around initiation today. 

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.

If you regularly feel ashamed, defensive, less worthy than others, or underconfident -- that's your inner critic at work. You may not realize that an inner critic gone wild isn't just harming you, it's harming your relationships and sex life.

All of us can be mean to ourselves occasionally, but when it's a regular pattern it makes us feel awful, kills our mojo, and undermines our relationships. If you have that pattern, you probably learned it long ago and have been doing it for years. But you don't have to keep the habit. 

This episode unpacks the difference between self-indulgence and true self-compassion. It will show you how to know which you're doing, and how to shift into self-compassion when you most need it.

Stopping the habit of allowing that inner critic to run rampant is a gift to yourself, your loved ones, and super important for great sex and relationships. So join me and get started today. 

Lit & Luscious Women's Retreat in Hawaii January 2026 is open for registration and early-bird discount! Come to Hawaii with me & co-host Kama Hagar for The Most Fun Retreat Ever Made -- just for you. 

Go to https://www.kamahagar.com/retreat-page/ to register now and give your future self the best gift ever.  

Get my free email newsletter with helpful tips, plus a free guide to Finding Your Deepest Turn-Ons, and learn how to work with me at https://laurajurgens.com.