SEX CULT THE BLOG – Details, episodes & analysis

NAIMAKIKAZARI - Naruse rears his ugly jealous beast 3.0 and it’s perfect and cool as usual. DUHH

NAIMAKIKAZARI MANGA

The story is getting goooooood. Im actually narrating it this time so it will be somewhat better. My point is to improve so let’s try and do that.

If you like manga, basketball manga, romance manga, high school manga, then this is probably one of the most popular and no one has narrated it yet and theres no anime soooooo LETS DO THIS TOGETHER.

This video is a preview for tonights chapter. I MIGHT DO 2. if I do two the second will be rough af. But it looks like a fun one so we shall see.

CHAPTER 21 IS VERY DRAMATIC.

let’s get through it together lol.

www.youtube.com/@sexcult1 Just come to the live area i will prob have technical issues for 15 mins. So 12.15am XOXO

Love Verity and DJ Foxy Moron who made the video xoxo. Ill be reading for around one hour. until 1.15am (ISH)if i do chapter 22 then 30 mins longer. or less 20 mins.

See u in 10-20mins

xoxox

SEX CULT PODCAST & BLOG is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. sub free for 3 months no strings just a gift 4 u. on a paid tier. support female writers!xoxo love verity

A NON-FEMINIST FIGHTS FOR HARDCORE FEMINIST RIGHTS 1.0

A man walks into a diner in Germany,

and walks straight up to the waitress and says to her “I’ll have a coffee without cream please.” The waitress looks at him and with a smirk says. “Well, I’m sorry sir, but we don’t have any cream. But we have milk, so, you can have a coffee without milk?” At that, they both laugh and the scene ends. That is a metaphor for feminism for me.

And that is the reason why I know being a feminist will never get us anywhere….It’s process is literally a joke. Time to think of another way that doesn’t leave us “without” all the time, in a “comical” or maybe delusional, way.

SEX CULT PODCAST & BLOG is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, SUBSCRIBE on a monthly paid tier at only $8 a month and you will receive the first 3 months free. Avail until 30th of Oct! No strings, cancel anytime, it’s just a gift! Gawwd you are so paranoid! Just get the free thing, it’s ok it won’t harm you. <3 xxxoxoxxoxoxoxxo haha, love ! Full uninterrupted access to all my podcasts and blogs and old ones that are only available here! Like, the 5D podcast! It’s pretty funny! And my Kanye West and Leonard Cohen mash up DJ set that went so well, it was nothing short of, Operation: True love!! (sorry been reading too much Korean Manga). xoVERITY

AN IMPORTANT

MESSAGE FROM

THE DEAD? HUH?

WHAT. THE.FUCK.AM.I.SUPPOSED.TO.WRITE.HERE??

This bloggers block Ive found myself in is crazy because there’s so much to say! Like, oh my F God! Including, everything that is said on the podcast, and a lot is said, a lot was edited, and I wanted to beep a name out, but I can’t be too sure if it ended up happe…

EG0-DEATH

COACHING w/ Vivian V -

NOT TODAY HITLER

EPISODE 1 - SHIFTING QUADRANTS ASAP!

COACHING & PSEUDO-SCIENCE W/ VIVIAN V - leads to a clip you can watch more if you DARE choose!

Today’s podcast is available on my YouTube Channel. Click on through above to a clip and more if you like, it’s 18+ so you have to watch it on the Tube, SUBSCRIBE while you are there please. Thank you so much, Im up to 10, going strong! Forever hopeful.

AND I coach a Incel. It will be a 14 session series, and we will kill the ego of this innocent Incel once and FOR ALL.

WELCOME TO COACHING AND PSEUDOSCIENCE w VIVIAN V

Coaching Hitler - Incels & Femels enter into "Ego Death Coaching" /w me Vivian V

I'm Vivian V and I'm a Incel and Femcel Ego Death coach, on a mission to bring in some light to these suffering beings. Therefore, making the world a better place for us all. Especially the ""Cel.

I used to be a Femcel, and I can tell you, it is a dark dark path to find yourself on! And not even a fun dark path, a literal just straight up worst time of anyone's life. Incel or Femcel, they are both equally not walking around thinking their life is just so beautiful.

I'm not sure if I even knew what Beautiful really was until I killed my Femcel Ego that fateful day in 2014. Incels and Femcels are usually very lost, miserable, resentful and manipulative people.

If they don't get help to rid the of this corrupted ego they possess, they can end up killing themselves at a higher risk level than most other personality types. While also making other people's lives around them miserable at the same time. Typically, these types, if support to start living a different way isn't given to them, they will end up with no one around them. Including themselves, which is where the suicide part will eventually come in.

WE DON'T WANT THIS.

Because there is another way, and I'm happy to take them on and coach them to move forward and slowly fall back down to reality and emerge as human once again.

I didn't realise there was another way to live until I had an accidental sober spiritual awakening when I was at the height of my pain as a Femcel.

I guess you could liken this expericne to a DMT experience, but mine didn't come from taking DMT. Mine came from the excruciating pain of being a Femcel/Predator for 15 years. This spiritual awakening and death killed my Femcel ego, and I was finally free! And the new world I entered into was so fucking beautiful, it was astonishing!

So for this, I know there's another world beyond corrupt fucked up ego driven living out there for everyone, and it's so beautiful and so cool. It's still life and its still challenging and nothing will ever be perfect! However, as a post Femcel turned Human Being, I now see life's challenges as beauty upon beauty and find gratitude in them all! It's a life void of sinicism!

This makes it hard to communicate sometimes to 90% of the population. However, it does leave me with the knowldge of how to guide a willing participant to their ego death, and I hope to achieve this every 14 sessions with Incel/Femcel.

This and I also have done a psychology at university and taken coaching lessons with the DR K’s coaching program, learning specific coaching skills. But in no way is any advice I give on this channel to be taken as medical advice for anyone watching, if you are feeling suicidal please see a licensed professional asap.

This is posted for awareness and entertainment purposes only.

If you want to take a coaching journey with me, if you are tired of your incel/femcel ways or any life problem causing you to feel lost or suffering than please email me at dfmaus24dd@outlook.com.

In any case, everythign can be likened to beauty once you shed yourself of any Incel or Femcel tendencies.

Ego death is where these types of people will find any happiness or fulfilment, or belonging they seek, and I'm going to coach them to achieve being free from these kinds of beliefs about their lives. While at the same time, also reaching a personal goal. However, I assure you, they will get A LOT more than that. They will gain things they didn't even think they needed to gain, but once they have them, or killed them, they will wonder how they lived any other way.

THIS I PROM PROMISE.

Love Vivian V

FFTB K University of QLD and Monash University, Psyc, Statistics, Philosophy, Business and alot of time now spent back in "the cave." Karaoke enthusiast. Now, Incel/Femcel and everybody inbetween Ego Death Coach and also, despite fighting it for 15 years, now loves being a Being of the Human variety these days full-time.

NO LONGER A PREDATOR.

Catch us usually on Youtube and also Apple Music Podcasts now too!

If more convien. But this is only avail here and TUBE xxxx

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Copyright Danica Conwell 2024 All Rights Reserved.

A BILLION DOLLAR

NARRATIVE

……… BUT,

DOES

IT COME AT A COST?

Taylor Swift is a Loser… …

….Figuratively Speaking

But her daddy planned it that way.

I wonder when it was, that the penny dropped? When “they” decided, “YEP, the loser is more popular than the mean girl?”

NOTE: CAN I JUST SAY THAT THE SUBTITLES ARE WAY INACCURATE AND MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A RACIST LOL. FUCKING CUNTS. THE WHOLE BROTHERS THING I DIDNT SAY that. I said Im way too uncool to hang out with those legends. They are all LEGENDS! lol. Fkin CC. Go away. lol

Had to add that….

THE LOSER

TAYLOR SWIFT IS A

LOSER~!!

The loser is always the star of the high school movies (besides Clueless). Paris Hilton was already doing a perfect “Cher” from Clueless impression that was likeable. Furthermore, Britney Spears played a good pretty-dating-the-hot-guy, prom queen heartbreaker, so that was taken. (Oops I Did It Again… Lucky… Slave… Break the Ice - She was always a sex kitten babe from Oops onwards).

Yet, if you ever have watched a Paris Hilton documentary, you will see that Paris is an actual loser. She’s a geek! And a nerd! Who just happened to be tall, skinny, blonde, and fit that “prototype,” with an endless amount of money behind her forever more. And Andy Warhol as a mentor… BITCH.

No, I really like Paris. Always have. She’s very entertaining, and I appreciate her production of entertainment she’s produced for the public, now for 20 years approx. She’s been releasing quality content for a LONG time. And I do think people are starting to realise that entertainment is a product, just as much as a physical thing is that you hold. (Maybe it's just me who has just realised that! But, I’m a slow learner). And it’s to be acknowledged.

Then we had The Singer, but only runner-up (the Olivia to Britney’s Taylor, so to say), Christina Aguilera. Her last name is more than one syllable and too hard to spell, “NOT WHITE ENOUGH TO BE QUEEN!!!” - I'm trying to think who it would be yelling this IRL… Oh! The people who decide who wins Grammys? Yes.

Pink was the rebel outcast, and Beyoncé was (at the time) the acceptable Black pop star (Apparently! However, I liked her sister Solange WAY better. Hell, I liked Tracy Chapman and Brandy WAY better).

Mandy Moore was a weird one, wasn’t she? I have a theory that she wanted to be an actress but went the pop star route because she’d rather fuck Diddy than Weinstein… bahahahaha.

If Mandy had a smarter PR team like Taylor’s, she could have been Taylor. ANYONE CAN BE TAYLOR. Let’s get that straight. And Taylor’s journey to be where she is now has been A LONG ROAD. This bitch, may have been born privileged from the start, but this bitch has worked. Even Suge Knight acknowledged this in a recent interview from jail (God, he really is a God. Slight chance he was sucking up to the owner of Republic Records (RR) too, to make money when he gets out or to make money now even. Stay quiet about Diddy, and get end less supply of chocolate for entire jail sentence. OR. If this owner of RR is a Freemason, they would probably get his sentence reduced…….Yeah prob that over the chocolate thing haha).

There’s a reason why Taylor is besties with Ryan Reynolds and his Gossip Girl actress “IT girl” perfect super-rich NYC schoolgirl with a heart of gold (Serena? I forget if that was her name) wife Blake Lively. Ryan Reynolds, is an entrepreneur genius! Not just some over acted version of Deadpool. Who I also assume is leading this new era of Taylor Swift success into the “baby billion” dollar status it currently stands at.

Underneath it all, Taylor is a definite “Karen come Femcel,” she HAS to be, it’s why I relate to her so well. (I used to be a Femcel, I no longer identity. I’m now a Positive Techno-Optimist).

I can see Taylor Swift being more the Aimee character of that “Kim Kardashian diss-tract,” Thank you, Aimee, than Kim Kardashian (KK). KK, was always the loser out of all the Kardashian sisters, who happened to be better looking than all of them though. I doubt she was a bully, Khloe and Kourtney were, however, I never saw Kim like that. (Same story with Paris and Nicky. Paris isn’t a bully, Nicky seems like a bitch). She was just standing up for her then, husband, Kanye West against a very powerful force from Taylor Swifts end to end Kanye West’s career. Which I believe Rick Rubin fore saw and told KK

and Kanye what they should do. I don’t think it was Kim, and I wish Rick Rubin would come to her defence with that. He was there! (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, see this video. And I disagree, Kim doesn’t owe Taylor anything).

TAYLOR’S THOUGHTS

OVER THE LAST

TWO YEARS

“Please, I’ve been on my knees, change the prophecy. Don’t want money, just someone who wants my company.”

“My boy always breaks his favourite toys. He told me I’m better off, but I’m not. I’m not… I’m not.”

“No small-town hopes and city dreams, I’m there most of the year because I hate it here.”

“How much sad did you think I had?”

“In plain sight, you hid, but you are what you did. And I’ll forget you, but I’ll never forgive.”

“Screaming, “fuck you Aimee,” as the blood was gushing.”

“I love you, it's ruining my life.”

“I’ll sue you if you step on my lawn because I’m fearsome, and I’m wretched, and I’m wrong.”

“I’m miserable, and no one even knows!”

_____________________________________

These are just a few lyrics taken from a few tracks from Swift’s latest album. If someone’s life was this bad in their head, they would have topped themselves by now, wouldn’t they? Or at least have a hideous heroin addiction.

But Taylor has not done or got either of these two things. Oh, it’s that narrative thingy. Cool. So, who is Taylor Swift?

WELL….

..I doubt we will ever know until some tell-all documentary comes out when she is well and truly irrelevant in 20 years. FINALLY, WE WILL HAVE THE ANSWERS. But will we care? Some don’t care ALREADY!

I think Taylor Swift is most comparable to Suge Knight, within the music industry, except instead of a gun in her motherfucking belt, she has a watch around her neck and a killer narrative killing all her competitors one… by… one.

“Who’s afraid of little of me”………You should be?” I guess so then!

Bang bang, smack, ouch.

In This Bizarre Twist of the Pop Culture Narrative

Taylor Swift emerges not just as a reigning queen but as a cunning (self-proclaimed explicitly) mastermind. She is definitely the new Suge Knight, orchestrating her empire with precision, her weapon of choice a meticulously crafted persona that disarms critics and seduces fans. Her lyrics paint a picture of vulnerability and heartbreak, but behind the scenes, she has a team of business minded strategic geniuses, manipulating the industry with her narrative and semi-strained (these days) smile.

Her alliances and feuds are calculated moves whispered in her ear by Raynolds and her daddy, playing her like she is the king being protected on a chessboard, where they make sure they are always ten steps ahead. The collaborations, the public appearances, the boys, the social media blitz—all pieces of a grand scheme to maintain her music career dominance and keep her competitors “off her lawn.”

And what about the Curious Case of Taylor and Lana?

Enter Lana Del Rey, the melancholic songstress whose brand of nostalgic sadness seems worlds apart from Taylor’s polished pop aesthetic. Yet, their friendship is splashed across headlines, with Taylor ensuring the world knows they are BFFs. Why? It’s another marketing narrative to add to her public persona, deepening it and enrching it with the depth of Lana’s career so far. I assume Lana agreed to this, but she is worth more than that and her career shouldn’t be used as a marketing tool to enrich the narrative of Taylor Swift (personally, this is my opinion). By aligning herself with Lana, Taylor taps into a different segment of the music audience, one that values authenticity and artistic depth.

Lana brings an edge to Taylor’s pristine image, lending her credibility among the indie crowd. Their union is a merger of brands, a mutual reinforcement of their personas—Lana, the tragic artist, and Taylor, the versatile chameleon. Together, they create a narrative that’s as compelling as it is calculated, ensuring that both remain at the centre of the cultural conversation.

However, this meticulously engineered reign is not without its repercussions. As Taylor Swift continues to weave her intricate web, the facade of perfection may start to show cracks. This cry for help hard not to hear from the new album’s lyrics.

The constant reinvention and strategic alliances can lead to a perception of inauthenticity,

causing some fans to question the genuineness of her art and persona. Her calculated moves might win battles in the short term, but they risk alienating those who crave authenticity and sincerity. Moreover, the pressure to maintain her throne through such strategic means can take a toll on her mental and emotional well-being, potentially leading to burnout. As the lines between her true self and her public image blur, Taylor may find herself trapped in a narrative of her own making, a puppet master ensnared by her own strings. In the end, the ultimate challenge for Taylor Swift will be to balance her cunning strategies with a return to genuine artistry, lest she becomes a victim of the very game she has so masterfully played.

Well Taylor, it’s ok come with us, we think normal girls are boring anyway….

You loser!

Vivian V XOXOX

Music by YE AND TY ON VULTURES 1

BACK TO ME

AND

PPROBLEMATIC

AND THE KNIFE - ALBUM DEEP CUTS.

Copyright Danica Conwell 2024 All Rights Reserved

THE SQUARE ROOT OF

YOUR

SOUL

This fascinating episode i explore the unique intersection of pop culture, philosophy, and mathematics. Diving into the profound insights and life lessons from Taylor Swift, Terrence Howard’s portrayal of Iron Man’s James Rhodes, and the enigmatic concept of the square root of mathematics. 2.

Episode Highlights:

• Taylor Swift’s Philosophical Narratives:

• Analyze the themes of self-empowerment, love, and personal growth in Swift’s music.

• Discuss how her lyrics reflect existential and feminist philosophies.

• Explore her evolution as an artist and the philosophical messages in her journey.

• Terrence Howard’s Iron Man Role:

• Examine Howard’s portrayal of Rhodey in the

context of loyalty, duty, and moral integrity.

• Discuss the philosophical implications of his character’s decisions and relationships.

• Contrast his interpretation with Don Cheadle’s later portrayal, focusing on the philosophical underpinnings of both performances.

• The Square Root of 2:

sub and you wont regret it >3333 vivian

THE SQUARE

RROOTT OF 2

(ITS NOT WHAT U THINK)

Delve into the mathematical mystery and philosophical significance of the square root of 2.

• Discuss its historical importance, from ancient Greek mathematics to modern-day applications.

• Explore its symbolic representation of irrationality and how it can be metaphorically linked to the unpredictability in Swift’s lyrics and the complexities in Rhodey’s character.

• Cultural Impact and Personal Reflection:

• Reflect on how both Swift and Howard influence contemporary thought and cultural discourse.

• Discuss what we can learn from their artistic expressions about identity, resilience, and societal values.

• Contemplate the philosophical implications of embracing the irrational, as represented by the square root of 2, in our own lives.

Lost?

well, toughen up!

Vivian V x

THE ONLY REASON YOU DIDN’T TALK, BECAUSE YOU DID A DEAL!

YOU FUCKING FED!

“And if I die tonight make sure that that my kids are right….” - Ye sings on track from new album Vultures 1 Beg Forgiveness. I hope Ye doesn’t get killed, but all the people who did this before him have. aka John Lennon….

The words of Kanye West in 2022 in this video, aimed at some of his peers in hip hop, including to and explicitly to Puff Daddy, on Drink Champs Podcast.

This interview, which was taken down because (as it was stated) “Kanye was anti-Semitic,” being the reason. However, now Diddy has been arrested, is it now clear why this was taken down yet?

??????

It was put back up when the government realised no one was noticing the good or the truth Kanye was spreading during this time…….I noticed it and I stuck with Ye the ENTIRE TIME THIS WAS HAPPENING. I have always believed in Ye, since I was told about his genius when I was 21 years old. A LONG TIME AGO. If I stuck with Kanye West, I knew I was sticking with the strength.

This is why this diss battle between Kanye, Kendrick and Drake is important. If Kanye is involving himself in it, then it is important for the people.

If Kanye West re-releases the track from Pablo “No more parties in LA” with Freddie Gibbs rapping on it now. IT IS IMPORTANT FOR THE PEOPLE.

The artists listed on this poster can be trusted at this time…..beware of fake profits.

The Diddy trials are important for the people. The information there is to gain from following that trial and all the information surrounding it, including the Kendrick and Drake diss battle IS IMPORTANT information for the people.

We are in World War 3 NOW. It’s them verses us. The people are us and them is BIG CORP, BILLIONAIRES, CIA ect.

PROPAGANDA is “them.”

In an information war it’s the people verses the Propaganda and whom it is, who is pedalling it. Which Ye has also informed us is.

Jeeeeezus. Yeeezus. Wakey wakey people we need you!

This album by Future and Metro Boomin’ also holds A LOT of information that the people need right now. It is called “We still don’t trust you.” Kanye West recently remixed Like That from this album with the lyrics, “I just fucked your bitch in a Sean John tank top.” - Think about what “I just fucked” is metaphor for and think about who the “BITCH” is he is referring to. Sean John is Puff Daddy, if you didn’t already know.

It’s not fair that they started world war 3 without telling us. THAT WAS POOR FORM. However, the signs and LITERAL INFORMATION LIKE YE STATED IN THIS INTERVIEW I POSTED are there for you to have and use as a weapon against them…….. Very few people are picking up their weapons. This is war, you must fight. PICK UP YOUR FUCKING WEAPONS. god.

(And I urge you to watch The entire interview from this Drink Champs, and all interviews from this time (end of 2022, Jan 2023), Especially the Lex Friedman one, and all the impromptu ones Ye did with random paparazzi especially the last one before he disappeared to Wyoming to chill after the craziness, when he is wearing a balaclava at the front of a church)

WAKE UP PEOPLE

You want the truth?

Well it comes and you don’t take it……

So what do you really want?

Vivian V.

i will always be honest and try and represent the truth as closely as possible and critically think about all I post. SO HELP ME GOD! (im not Christian lol)

DEATH, CANCER, RELIGION, BLOOD, FINGERS, TEETH, DATING, FUNERALS, GRIEVING, FUCKING, TEARING, SCARING, SCLUB7, RAPE & A HAND TO CATCH THE BLOOD

Listed are the themes that are sung about in dreamy pop-folk alt country indie record First Love by Emmy The Great.

Lots of fun benefits for subs besides being able to see every second blog and podcast I make xxxx love to yallllll message me with any questions xxx

THE

TORTURED

FEMALES

And their Matty Healys (we all have had one or…… SOS…… are with one now) <3 <3 <3

Matty Healy, from band The 1975,

is the main muse of Taylor Swift’s new album The Tortured Poet’s Department.

Also the muse from my favourite track on Midnights the 3am Edition Maroon. Also my soul track from the 3am edition called High Infidelity (TTPD has made me realise why that song entered into my life so violently, and thank god).

Dear Matty Healy,

TWENTY FOUR FOR EVERY YEAR THAT I HAVE SIT

_________________

DAY BY DAY INTO THE

NECK OF THE ABYSS

I put ALOT of work into every post and blog and also thought and this takes time so every second post will be subscriber only from now on but I promise to deliver great, beautiful and honest content no matter what the topic. My soul is on the line 4 u x

SORRY THAT YOU HAPPENED TO ME

SORRY THAT YOU HAPPENED TO ME

SORRY THAT YOU HAPPENED TO ME

BUT…

THEY SAY ONE MAN IS THE ACCIDENT THE OTHER IS THE BLADE

THAT MAKES THE CUT

____________

YOU WERE WATCHING THAT PROGRAM FOR EXACTLY AN HOUR

ALL THESE HOURS THEY WILL ADD UP TO A DAY

WHEN YOU FINALLY REALISE I WAS THE BEST THING YOU HAD IN IT

YOU’LL BE CLOSING UP YOUR EYE BALLS IN THE BED IN WHICH

YOU DIE

AND ILL BE SORRY IF IT HAPPENS TO YOU

SORRY IF IT HAPPENS TO YOU

SORRY IF IT HAPPENS TO YOU BUT…

THEY SAY ONE MAN IS THE CANCER AND THE OTHER IS THE BLADE

THAT MAKES THE CUT

AND IM LOOKING FOR THE OTHER ONE

FOR THE BLADE

TO MAKE THE CUT

_________________________________

I thought I'd get away//but now I have to stay//I think I better say..As usual. ///////.

You've heard this all before//i had some but they had more//im rotten to the core.....But merciful. //////.

And that was my mistake//I didn’t kill the snake//

i gave the snake a break

_______Unbiblical. ++++++

The Predator Podcast brought to you by The Snake’s break Productions PTY LTD.

_____________________________+++++++++++++

EDITED May 4th 2024 (…may the force be with you) - I have drafted this since the first one on April 26 approx. Hopefully it’s improved. Im all about improving my skills as a communicator. This is why I do this podcast and blog especially but my favourite writer, or one of, once said “you must speak as well as you write, then you can say you are a great writer.” Christopher Hitchins. R.I.P. So, this is what Im doing here and why I have this podcast basically not basic. <3

May 5 edited - Last draft video I SWEAR. But the whole point is to improve so…….draft up! This one a bit more exciting and chaotic. Audio remains the same, that was fine, sorry my voice might be too fast in spots i’ll fix if so. Music might be more chipmunky too, Again weird, but need to do that for Apple Music and Spotify. I don’t hate it……

Added Leonard Cohen Poem Unbiblical and a picture of me dressed as the Virgin Mary after being visited by Gabriel.

__________________________+++++++++++++

copyright Danica Conwell 2024 all rights reserved

Words in large letters by Emmy the great - Song - 24 - Album - First Love

Below, words by Leonard Cohen “Unbiblical.”

Pictures from Pinterest

Music by Taylor Swift, Aaron Dessner and Jack Antonoff - on album - The Tortured Poet’s Department

»»»»»»»»»»»»>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PROBABLY SHOULD READ THE BLOG FIRST BEFORE THE PODCAST OR SAMANTHA WILL COMPLETELY LOSE YOU

This podcast has Samantha reading to you, the plan for a reflection called Predator I have been writing for two years (too long).

I want to start talking about the reflection more, because I want to hold myself accountable to finishing it. The more people know about it the more likely I am to achieve it. They say….

Samantha, is about to read to you the plan I wrote out, in an attempt to organise my thoughts surrounding the war I had just been in with Victim X for six years. The plan I have recorded for this podcast, outlines how I started writing this reflection, also the reflection’s mentors and encouragers, its muses and it outlines exactly what I reflect on within the book in three words (mostly) or less per concept. This war was awe inspiring and the main inspiration for this non fiction/fiction, narrative novella/reflection called Predator that I have written.

Think about The Parable of the Cave by Plato, from book The Republic.

Remember that part where he has to go back down into the cave once he has left? This is where the war will start for us, and it can get pretty intense. Going back into the cave is a necessary process, and although seemingly quite brutal, leading you to feeling variants of sadness so painful you never knew this kind of pain even existed. This pain actually ends up becoming one of the most exciting and wonderful feelings defining the best times of your life. (Weirdly enough). It definitely has become that for me in hindsight.

The Parable of the Cave. Maybe the most important parable to hear, read and understand that's ever been written.

However, war is war, and considering my war ended two years ago now, I’m ready to find the peace now.

The peace that should come after such a meteor strike that was this six year war called “my life.” The chaos that plummeted down upon me, so fast and so real as I waited for it to ruin me, and at times willed it to ruin me even. It was pain at it’s most primitive and universal. It was nothing short of true beauty.

BRING.IT.ON. I willed it into my world.

I was never going to turn down a life offer like this! I had to experience it, and the alternative was not for me.

So when it’s your time to experience this war, and everyone will cross this path at some point in their life in one way or another, I advise you to just say yes! Embrace it, and have the courage to experience it. It makes you human, more human than ever before, and if you are over the age of 30. it’s time and this might be what you will expect to experience during this time…..

Predator the Blog & Podcast I make every second podcast and blog subscriber only because I have alot of lurkers and making these podcasts and blogs is costing me alot of time so I do need paid subs to continue however, its super cheap and 30% of content will still be free for all xxxx You can sub for free as well I believe. But only paid subs will get 70% of the content. If you enjoy my ideas and want to chat about them or come on the podcast! Subscribe and Im happy to have these convos with you. It’s what I live for xx

Why is my book about a war? What war? WW2? Even though Hitler is mentioned as a supporting actor in this reflection, he is simply a faze of my life, in which I was a mini-Hitler.

(Sans the racism entirely, but the need for world domination, power and drugs, all are pretty similar).

I call this war, The Ego War and we all go through it. I seemed to have gone through it a little more intergalactically than I hear others have. People talk about ego death like…”yes it happened when this bad thing happened to me in hospital ect…blah blah” and nothing about them has seemed to change much. Nothing except, they are a little less hateful than before they were, before their said “ego funeral.”

My whole world was turned around when I killed my ego and I didn’t even know I had to kill it when I did…..I just did.

I don’t know what force In this world thrusted me violently into a new dimension where the murder took place. This was not a hallucination because I was not on drugs at the time. At the time I was in a state I would describe as “hyper-fearful” and I was “hyper-panicking,” talking without breathe on the phone to my mother in the backyard of our 150 year old inner city house I lived in with two gay guys, one was in my band and the other was very special to me. He probably doesn’t know it or won’t ever know. He was the type to probably tell me to shut the fuck up if I said this to his face anyway, which would have made me like him even more.

He introduced me to this world called “being who you are,” simply from him, being who he was. He was super educated, very good looking and articulate, but he also would fuck up alot without shame, and need help sometimes very openly (the opposite to myself).

He wasn’t the coolest guy in the scene, but he was definitely one of the smartest and most in sync with the patterns of the world. When I lived in share houses, I tended to need a lot of time alone, because in those days people’s energy used to drain me. However, I think I now need it as fuel these days.

I’ve transferred from an introvert to extrovert over the years.

The brain and body seem to adjust to be able to survive in the environments they are put into to make my life easier.

The body and brain are your friend and I have not been a great friend to them back over the years I have to admit. However, that has never stopped my body being ride or die for me, and I plan to start taking care of it a lot better soon. It’s my turn to give back to my body after all the years it’s given me.

Back to my gay housemate no.1 though, he introduced and explained to me the beauty of Lana Del Rey, and was never offended of me being weird freaky little me that I am. I tend to agitate people with my freaky real personality a lot, but not him. He didn't even notice, he just accepted and lived his life like people should do and accept the way you live yours. Why does everyone need to be the same? He was the beginning of some change of thinking I was having that led to my impromptu ego death at that house the day my gay housemate went to Japan, and my friend Steven and I had advised him to not take non-prescribed “dexies” on the plane with him there.

At the time I was also dating a university professor who was 30 years older and married AND in a band - - - (Well how unusual this might be destructive….).

Who proceeded to make my life hell (again, “shocking”), in some incel-esque kind of way. I still can’t tell if he hated women or not. He was a sex addict, and even though he had been clean from heroin addiction for around 30 years when I met him, he was evidently still triggered by women.

He used to be in a well known Melbourne band and still was making music under that name at the time. They were very well known and respected band in Melbourne. My boyfriend was well known also for writing and being in and apart of the concept for a seminal cult movie classic starring Michael Hutchins about the Melbourne music scene in the 1970-80’s called Dogs in Space).

Basically this meant…..he could still get pussy. Things like that get men pussy almost forever more. If I was a dude, I’d be in a band so fast, because it increases your ranking from a six to a nine! (And if the band is successful, you go straight to 10 very very fast. You are instantly dating Gigi Hadid and Taylor Swift at the same time, in no time. One hundred per cent truth).

Being a young early 20 something powerless girl, hating myself and the world, having imposter syndrome to another level and Femcel that I was, I needed this man’s power. So I took it.

Incel’s are a great source of power when you are a Femcel. (Not advice or advisable, just a fact).

I won’t say it wasn’t a mutually emotionally abusive relationship, because it was. However, he was older and smarter than I, so I came out of that one worse off (overall I won though because I ended up in recovery and it was because of my incel boyfriend and the pain the relationship caused me to have the spiritual awakening and start recovery. My incel boyfriend, who was already in recovery for heroin addiction and had been in recovery since he was 30, took me to my first meeting which was the beginning of life no. 2). During the relationship however, I lost control and the power and I lost that battle (but I won the war).

However, the moments of power I did get from him were enough for me, and when I broke up with him I was the most emotionally healthy I had ever been in my life and I broke it off with him because that was a time when I had killed my ego already many months before and I was just slowly backing out of this web of chaos and destruction, that I had internally caused myself over the first 24 years of my life, he was apart of that mess.

This back tracking started with the execution of some people in my life. Some of them exited of their own free will, which made things easier, they were not able to handle the changes I was making to help myself (because they knew they were changes they also had to make). Destructive people stick with destructive people, no shit, that’s obvious. You stick with your own kind……….but who do the loners stick with?

I have always been a classic loner.

Loners are usually the Taylor Swifts of the world, they can’t connect with people organically so they do it through art, fame, false narratives and power.

I know that Swift is a made up character, but this is because her life was centred around a career in which a character is necessary or you would probably go insane, and maybe you do anyway. From such a young age Swift has been violently sheltered. She’s a bit of an emotional retard because of it, she can’t just walk outside her front door and see what’s going on in the world, which Is the so important to do to understand the world, and to work out how the world is going, what it’s up to and how we can support it. She goes from sterile environment to sterile environment. This to me sounds like a very much needed holiday of mine! I like to holiday in sterile environments.

This reflection is very important to the progression of my life. I surmise that I won’t actually finish it until I LET GO.

Let go of what? The life I’m living now of course.

I must reincarnate soon, because I will die dark and alone on the path I’m on now. Dark, alone and longing for that time in my life that I was actually living it.

Help! I’m still at the restaurant

Still seating in the corner I haunt

Cross legged in the dim light

They say “what a sad sight”

I swear you could hear a hairpin drop

Right when I felt the moment stop

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on….

I stayed there

Dust collecting on my pinned up hair

They expected me to find somewhere

Some perspective

But I sat and stared because I’m right where

You left me. - Taylor Swift Right where you left me

NO ONE! Wants to end up like this Taylor Swift track,

wait there’s more…

She’s still 23 inside her fantasy how it was supposed to be

At the restaurant

When I was still the one you want

cross legged In the dim light

everything was alright

I could feel the mascara run

You told me that you met someone

glass shattered on the white cloth

everybody moved on..

….Yeah, so basically this reflection is that restaurant. In a way. But this restaurant used to be so exciting like Denny’s when I was a little girl or Sizzler, I LOVED those restaurants…..they were just…..special and different.

As I got older, they started to seem unimaginative and overly priced. So I stopped going to them.

I feel like that metaphor is self explanatory, I won’t go on….

___________________________

I have been writing this reflection in hope that the answer comes to me, how was I going to get up and just walk out of that fucking restaurant without completely falling apart?

I think the answer is, that there is no way to walk out of the restaurant at that point, without looking like a complete mess. Also, feeling like no one in the whole world loves me anymore, 100% love-less and also feeling like my life has become empty and meaningless and all these people are watching the ship go down, so I wait until they leave, but the staff are there still, and they don’t care about you, they are just living their lives and me being here is hindering them from doing that. (To be honest, Im not sure what that last part is a metaphor for, maybe you can figure it out and comment me??).

This war is a fight between me and Victim X. A worthy component.

I hate to sound 12 years old but, she started it. She did though, and I reluctantly, at first, accepted the invitation because it was some-what intoxicating.

A few days before this happened I had an amazing awakening experience where I apologised to my little child for hurting her over the last 15 years of my life and that was the day my inner child came back into my life and she’s been there ever since.

Everything was perfect and simple……..for a few days anyway…..However, it’s me and Little Danica these days after all that (and Tommy my cat).

I also have been mending my shadow intently for four years, however, my ego is no where to be found still since the war ended and Victim X lost.

However, I do think I will find my ego again once I leave the restaurant. She’s all flowery and brand new somewhere out there growing like a lotus flower, waiting for me to leave so she can rekindle with the group, and the shadow then can also re-join once the ego does. However, it’s just me and Little Danica right now, and has been for a long while and although Little Danica is very very tough, I can feel her starting to break now, and the search for the answer becomes a little more serious this year.

Then from no-where a few weeks ago, the answer just came to me, along with the reasons and everything!

It was a very obvious answer, as it usually is. I was in the shower, where all sorts of crazy spiritual things tend to happen to me, visitations mostly.

I know how to fix all of this after that, I know how to let go, why and move on peacefully. I also know how to finish the last chapter of this reflection also.

The plan for the last chapter of this reflection would be read like this by Samantha, after this realisation….

PLAN - LAST CHAPTER OF PREATOR - A REFLECTION OF A WAR

* Broken spirituality

* The inner child’s pain

* Child abuse

* Self abuse

* Old habits die hard they just need to die

* Time to find the ego

* My shadow waits

* The clarity is granted

* The path has opened up

* Courage

* Facing fears

* Trusting my inner child

* Letting go of control

* Letting go of victim X

* Victim X will always be apart of me (just not in the restaurant)

* The unknown

Luv Vivian V x

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I basically just note down all my strengths, ignore my weaknesses and work it like that. Sometimes though, strengths can look like weaknesses at first, so take care to really think about every dimension of the results and compare them with your partners to figure out what part of the relationship might struggle and how to over-come it. Great source of knowledge of self this test is. I highly recommend it.

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