Says Who? – Details, episodes & analysis

It’s here, SaysWhovia. Please drive through.
 

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The musical episode you’ve been waiting for (???) is finally here. Let’s break down the playlist of DJ T.

Get ready to dance, SaysWhovia. Very slowly. Very, very slowly.

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Maureen is sick, Dan is tired, but there's no stopping the vibe shift that has swept the nation with Biden dropping out and Kamala Harris speed-running her new candidacy. But most importantly, Democrats are finally saying the thing that Maureen and Dan have been saying all along: Trump and his goons are all deeply, deeply weird people.

Also, JD Vance f*cks a couch.

Welcome to the new presidential race, jump on in the water's warm.

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Dan and Maureen are further apart than normal this week.It’s a tale of two cities—London and Los Angeles. One has English/Indian full breakfasts with unlimited cups of hot chai, while the other has fire alarms going off all the time. In fact, this episode has the most fire alarms of any Says Who episode! The most hotel talk! The most reading of menus!

In fact, Dan and Maureen are so exciting talking about breakfasts and hotel fires that they almost forget there is news. ALMOST. This is a week of a falling pound and Trump legal trouble. So much trouble! And our old friend Rudy forgot to go to court. What a bunch of knuckheads!

Put the sign on the door, SaysWhovia. We don’t want to be disturbed.

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What’s that sizzling sound? Why, it’s the official Says Who griddle! Dan and Maureen have some hot, beefy patties of news to slap down this week, so they hope you are hungry! And they’re starting with good news! COVID is over! The President said so! Dan will go and tell his wife, who has COVID. Dan is grouchy. Maureen has something to cheer him—a sing along! 

Also, Dan’s son had a very interesting walk to school. Dan is really not having it this week. Even though Trump has performed an amazing self-own with his special master. But what turns it all around is the beef. Because if there is one thing we do here on Says Who—we run the hamburger beat. And there hasn’t been this big of a scoop on the burger front since Trump threw his lunch against the wall. Yes! It’s the My Pillow Hardee’s takedown story!

Get your fries on the side, SaysWhovia. But not from Hardees?

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... then things got weird. 

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Ah, the sea. So…sealike. Maureen is in Greece, looking at the sea and having high quality insights like these. Dan is in Chicago, reading the news. One seems happier than the other. But not for long! Because the UK has a new prime minister, there’s a Special Master on the horizon, and Trump is definitely getting up to announce his 2024 run. Everything is circling back around. Maureen cannot cope with this. She has a plan, and that plan involves the sea.

 

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Look, it's been a long week and it's only Wednesday. Sure, Trump's been going nuts over on Truth Social and Lindsey Graham is threatening mob violence on cable news, but who's up for a story instead? A story about a banking heiress and a Palm Beach club with lax security. Certainly nothing will go wrong.
 

Note: to read more about the Anna de Rothschild story, check out the incredible reporting by the Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project and the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

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Maureen has a new tooth! Dan’s kids are going to school. The last few weeks of the summer and hot and full of fun—because we’re hading into an exciting fall! Nothing weird is happening!

Except for a few boxes in the back of Mar-a-Lago. There’s a little bit going on with those. Just a bit of criming. Actually, quite a lot of criming. So much criming. So many boxes.

Plus, Maureen refines her cult plans. In her cult, no one turns purple. Dan has questions.

Come inside this storage room, SaysWhovia! We have boxes to go through! Everyone grab a box! Blue Apron: it’s not just a meal, it’s felony espionage

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Dan and Maureen are back, after this Sunday’s surprise episode with more! More crime! More details! More documents! More Trump! More legal peril, possible indictments, and institutional chaos!

But first, Maureen has to talk about this Dr. Oz vegetable thing, because it is keeping her up at night. It’s so weird, and so gross. If she can figure out what it means, she’ll understand everything.

Meanwhile, Dan has facts and figures about the raid at Mar-a-Lago—what was taken, when, by whom, and why—and just how long they tried to get it. Spoiler: a weirdly long time. Also, Rudy is in trouble! So much trouble. There’s trouble, right here in Rudy City, and it starts with T and it ends in P and that stands for Trump, or maybe Top Pooper. Something. It all means SOMETHING.

The summer’s not over yet. We have a few more weeks to go before we flame out and slip into a fall of hearings and elections. WHAT WILL HAPPEN?

Strap in, SaysWhovia. Keep your hands and head inside the ride at all times. We’re still going up the hill, and that first drop is going to be WILD.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho