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Explore every episode of the podcast Psychologists Off the Clock
Dive into the complete episode list for Psychologists Off the Clock. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 376: The Art of Therapy with Michael Alcee | 09 Oct 2024 | 01:01:26 | |
This week on Psychologists Off the Clock, Jill takes on the dynamic blend of science and art in therapy with our amazing guest, Dr. Michael Alcee, a mental health educator and the author of Therapeutic Improvisation: How to Stop Winging It and Own It as a Therapist.
Michael sheds light on the vital balance between left-brain logic and right-brain creativity that makes for effective psychotherapy, shares thoughts on the power of humor, metaphor, and emotional connection, and reveals how therapists can embrace their creative side while staying rooted in scientific principles.
With fascinating examples from Miichael’s professional experience, he presents practical strategies to help therapists enhance their intuitive skills, boost their therapeutic presence, and build stronger connections with their clients.
Please join us for an intriguing discovery of how blending science and art can elevate your therapeutic practice and transform the outcome of your client sessions!
Listen and Learn:
How the art of therapy and music intertwine to create healing conversations that inspire growth
The surprising encounter with Irving Yalom that revealed profound insights into the art of therapy and led Michael to write his book
How therapy becomes an art, blending science and creativity to help clients find their true selves
Embracing intuition, creativity, and improvisation as a therapist to enhance your practice
Understanding left and right brain dynamics and how it enhances therapy, fostering creativity and insight
How the concept "mindsight" and "wise mind" blend logic and emotion in therapy
How therapists can embrace metaphor and intuition for deeper client connections and transformative outcomes
Resources:
Therapeutic Improvisation: How to Stop Winging It and Own It as a Therapist
https://michaelalcee.com/
https://michael-alcee.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-alcee-14417755/
https://www.instagram.com/mike_drop_/
https://www.facebook.com/livelifecreatively2/
Mentioned in this episode: The Courage to Create: https://www.amazon.com/Courage-Create-Rollo-May/dp/0393311066
About Michael Alcee
Michael Alcée, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in Tarrytown, NY, and is a Mental Health Educator at the Manhattan School of Music. In his first book, Therapeutic Improvisation: How to Stop Winging It and Own It as a Therapist (Norton, 2022), Michael demonstrated how all clinicians are artists, reading the changes like well-versed jazz musicians, finding the poetic turns in their client's stories like skilled writers, and reveling in the creative act that emerges in the humanistic encounter of psychotherapy. His forthcoming book is entitled The Upside of OCD: Flip the Script to Reclaim Your Life (Rowman & LIttlefield, 2024) and aims to add depth to the exploration and understanding of the OCD experience. Michael has been a TEDx speaker and organizer and is a regular contributor at Psychology Today along with contributions to NPR, The Chicago Tribune, and The New York Times, among others. You can also find him on The Psychology Podcast with Scott Barry Kaufman and on Shrink Rap Radio.
Related Episodes
82. Therapist Self Doubt with Jim Lucas
106. Therapy from “The Heart of ACT” with Robyn Walser
158. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone with Lori Gottlieb
294. Yes And: Improv in Psychology with Kelly Leonard
269. Connection Through Vulnerability with Rikke Kjelgaard
366. Psychologists ON the Clock: Getting Experiential with Us
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| 375. Midlife: From Crisis to Curiosity with Meg McKelvie and Debbie Sorensen | 02 Oct 2024 | 01:26:51 | |
Are you in the midst of a midlife transition, grappling with big questions about purpose, change, and self-discovery?
For this week’s episode, cohost Debbie Sorensen celebrates her 50th birthday with a discussion on the transformative period of midlife with her friend, Dr. Meg McKelvie.
A period rich with psychological shifts, existential questions, and challenges in finding deeper meaning, they get into acceptance and commitment therapy, emotional, psychical and cognitive changes, ways to overcome people-pleasing habits, and much much more.
With practical exercises and writing practices, this episode is a gift to anyone navigating midlife transitions and relationships, offering insight, reflection, and a path toward deeper understanding and fulfilling connections. We hope you enjoy this heartfelt and poignant conversation!
Listen and Learn:
Opportunities that midlife brings for deeper understanding and transformation
Confronting body changes and the aging process
How your relationships can become deeper in midlife; letting go of surface-level bonds and embracing genuine honesty and shared experiences
The myth of the midlife crisis and how, contrary to what stereotypes lead us to believe, it frequently involves a sharp internal existential shift rather than a dramatic upheaval
Living with unanswered questions and learning to sit with the discomfort of uncertainty
Ways you can cultivate a personal space that nurtures self-reflection and self-sufficiency
The lessons that regret can teach us
The value of sitting with challenging emotions such as anger and grief, and how these feelings can provide critical insights into your life
The difference between body neutrality and body positivity and how stepping back from the internal debate about your body can lead to a more peaceful relationship with yourself
Resources:
Meg’s website: https://www.drmegmckelvie.com/
LInk to the “Soul-Searching Questions” handout on Meg’s website and Debbie’s website.
More writing resources from Meg and Debbie:
Meg’s writing workshops: https://www.drmegmckelvie.com/workshopsgroups
Debbie’s Instagram for journaling prompts: https://www.instagram.com/drdebbiesorensen/
Debbie’s Guided Journaling substack: https://guidedjournaling.substack.com/
345. Writing for Personal Growth with Maureen Murdock
A Substack essay Debbie wrote on her 50th birthday
A commentary on the Surgeon General’s recent advisory on parental stress, by co-hosts Debbie and Emily, and former co-host Yael Schonburn!
Books mentioned in the episode:
Finding Meaning In the Second Half of Life: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781592402076
The Heroine's Journey: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781611808308
Related episodes:
199. Belonging From the Inside Out with Meg McKelvie
345. Writing for Personal Growth with Maureen Murdock
315. Hot & Bothered: Menopause with Jancee Dunn
291. Finding Freedom From Regret with Robert Leahy
257. The Gift of Being Ordinary with Ron Siegel
242. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management with Oliver Burkeman
351. You Only Die Once with Jodi Wellman
274. Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood with Satya Doyle Byock
138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser
116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune
285. What Do You Want Out of Life? Values Fulfillment Theory with Valerie Tiberius
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| 366. Psychologists ON the Clock: Getting Experiential with Us | 31 Jul 2024 | 00:53:58 | |
If you’re unsure about life's big decisions and tired of making endless pros and cons lists, we’ve got a bonus co-host episode just for you! We’re helping you break down complex decisions into easy-to-follow exercises that you can do right along with us or on your own time. From understanding your comfort zone to making tough choices based on values rather than fear or external pressures, we've got it all covered. It's like having your very own therapist in your earbuds. So join us, grab a pen and paper, and let us guide you in living a more purposeful life!
Resources:
Jill’s Newsletter archive:https://jillstoddard.com/newsletter-archives
Go with Your Gut:
https://jillstoddard.mykajabi.com/e/BAh7BjoWZW1haWxfZGVsaXZlcnlfaWRsKwhzfBVgAwA%3D--474f34703358236832a89a99e3d07f24cb493f21?skip_click_tracking=true
Decision-Making:https://jillstoddard.mykajabi.com/e/BAh7BjoWZW1haWxfZGVsaXZlcnlfaWRsKwiOXf2cAgA%3D--fe7bdba30eb4f5f3cf33c61f944ca6a6fc5b1458?skip_click_tracking=true
Related Episodes:
77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard
285. What Do You Want Out of Life? Values Fulfillment Theory with Valerie Tiberius
262. Hope and Values in Dark Times with Us
238. Values During Times of Transition (with Us)
218. Off the Clock with Us
116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune
313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson
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| 279. ACT for Healing Black Racial Trauma with Jennifer Shepard Payne | 30 Nov 2022 | 01:10:05 | |
Racial trauma has been caused by centuries of discrimination and violence against African Americans; a legacy of injustice that has had a long-term impact on mental, emotional, and psychical well-being. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing Black racial trauma; transformation and change are still possible. A powerful tool to help those who have been impacted by racism is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
We talk with Research Scientist and Clinician, Jennifer Shepard Payne who in her book, Out of the Fire: Healing Black Trauma Caused by Systemic Racism Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, offers a thorough examination of the application of ACT to the unique problems that African Americans face. Jennifer describes how she is culturally adapting traditional ACT practices, and how this therapy can help African American communities heal from generations of oppression.
Listen and Learn:
What motivated Jennifer to specialize in culturally tailoring Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for African American communities
Why Jennifer wrote a book on healing Black Trauma
Jennifer's personal experience with racism as a Black woman in America
What Jennifer thinks about the disparity in the current mental health system for African Americans
Jennifer’s perspective on resilience in relation to Black racial trauma
What inspired Jennifer to pursue ACT, and how beneficial it can be in assisting African Americans who have suffered racial trauma
The concept of Racial Battle Fatigue
The importance of collective black values for the future
Resources:
Visit Jennifer's website to discover more about her: https://www.drjspayne.com/
Grab your copy of Jeniffer’s book: Out of the Fire: Healing Black Trauma Caused by Systemic Racism Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781684039883
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781611809657
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Jennifer Shepard Payne
Jennifer Shepard Payne, Ph.D., LCSW, is a Research Scientist and Clinician for the Kennedy Krieger Institute in the Center for Child and Family Traumatic Stress (CCFTS) and theCenter for the Neuroscience of Social Injustice. She is also an Assistant Professor in the John Hopkins University School of Medicine with a primary appointment within the Department of Psychiatry, Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. She serves as the coordinator of the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Clinical Services within the adult segment of CCFTS.
Dr. Payne received her doctorate from the UCLA School of Public Affairs and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with many years of experience in mental health clinical practice and administration. Her research interests include developing culturally tailored community-based depression and trauma interventions and addressing minority mental health disparities.
For several years, Dr. Payne has been working on culturally tailoring Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for African American communities experiencing racial trauma. She developed a culturally-tailored ACT intervention called POOF® and is training and consulting on the model: www.POOF-PullingOutOfFire.com. Additionally, she is a board member of MEND, an international organization of clinicians of color who are trauma-trained to help oppressed communities (www.mendminds.org).
Her new book is called Out of the Fire: Healing Black Trauma Caused by Systemic Racism Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
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| 278. The Gift with Edith Eger and Marianne Engle | 23 Nov 2022 | 01:05:08 | |
As we go through life, we all have experiences, both positive and negative, that shape who we are. Sometimes, we focus too much on the negative experiences and start to think "why me?". In order to counter this negative spiral, we can choose to focus on the positive and use this to empower ourselves. Instead, ask yourself "what now?". You can improve your outlook on life by changing your mindset. This in turn will help free yourself from limiting beliefs, heal and move forward.
With great admiration and gratitude, we welcome an inspiring mother-daughter duo, Dr. Edith Eger, and Dr. Marianne Engel who through their expertise as Clinical Psychologists, work together to promote healing, positivity, and personal growth. In this deeply personal, yet profound interview, we take a look at the learnings presented in the latest edition of Dr. Eger’s uplifting and actionable guide to healing, The Gift: 14 Lessons to Save Your Life.
Paralleled by lessons from the book, we also learn about Edith’s courageous story of surviving Auschwitz and finding her path to freedom, as well as Marianne’s own experience as the child of an immigrant parent and holocaust survivor, navigating marriage and raising children. Focusing on overcoming adversity, relationships, giving up shame, and living with purpose, we bring you a powerful and thought-provoking episode that inspires you to take on any obstacles life presents.
Listen and Learn:
The dangers of being a prisoner of your own mind
Survivor vs. victim mindset
Why Marianne is grateful to her mother for shielding her from her painful past
What drew both Edith and Marianne to the field of clinical psychology
The best way to move towards readiness to confront trauma
Holding your truth while relinquishing the need for power and control
The importance of flexible thinking in relationships
Why Edith believes people should give up perfectionism
How do we resist hating the haters, and we why should
Edith and Marianne's tips for parents hoping to have close relationships with their children throughout their lives
Resources:
To learn more about Edith, visit: https://dreditheger.com/
To learn more about Marianne, visit: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-engle-7b930a2b
Check out Edith’s book, The Gift: 14 Lessons to Save Your Life: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781982143091
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781611809657
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Edith Eger:
Dr. Edith Eger is a sought-after clinical psychologist and lecturer who brings a message of healing and personal growth in her speaking and in her books The Choice and The Gift. She uses her past as a Holocaust survivor and thriver to inspire people to tap their full potential and shape their very best destinies regardless of their circumstances. It’s a message of CHOICE to move from recovery to discovery and beyond and encouragement to find the gifts of even the most painful situations.
About Marianne Engle:
Dr. Marianne Engle, is Edith’s daughter and collaborator. Marianne is also a psychologist with training in sports psychology. As a child, Marianne watched her mother struggle in the aftermath of the Holocaust. In fact, Edith didn’t tell Marianne about her experiences in the Holocaust until Marianne discovered it by finding a book in her parent’s collection and put the pieces together.
Edith and Marianne are an inspiring mother-daughter duo working together to bring healing and positivity to the world and we’ll be focusing on messages offered in the newest edition of Dr. Eger’s book, The Gift: 14 Lessons to Save Your Life, which is colored with Marianne’s influence
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| 277. Silence is Golden with Justin Zorn & Leigh Marz | 16 Nov 2022 | 01:08:40 | |
Finding moments of silence can be difficult in our chaotic, constantly-connected world. But, Justin Zorn and Leigh Marz, co-authors of ‘Golden: The Power of Silence in a World of Noise’, say it's worth the effort.
Shedding light on the many dimensions of silence, Justin and Leigh explore how cutting through the clutter can lead to greater clarity, structure, and improved health in our lives. You'll discover how to transcend the noise and uncover a more fulfilling life and edified mind in the process.
Listen and Learn:
What compelled Justin and Leigh to write a book on silence?
Silence: what is it and why does it matter?
Silence vs. mindfulness
The implications of auditory and informational noise in today’s modern world
What causes us to fear silence and how can we overcome it?
The role silence plays in achieving clarity, awareness, and a better sense of connection
Shared silence magnifies its impact
Practicing silence in the midst of chaos
The importance of identifying noise and appreciating silence
Resources:
To learn more about Justin, visit: https://justinzorn.com/
To learn more about Leigh, visit: https://leighmarz.com/
Check out Justin’s and Leigh’s book, Golden: The Power of Silence in a World of Noise
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Justin Zorn:
Justin Talbot Zorn has served as both a strategist and a meditation teacher in the US Congress. A Harvard-and-Oxford-trained specialist in the economics and psychology of human thriving, he has written for the Washington Post,The Atlantic, Harvard Business Review, Foreign Policy, and other publications. Justin is the coauthor of Golden: The Power of Silence in a World of Noise, published by HarperCollins in the US, Penguin/Random House in the UK, and globally in 11 other languages. He is cofounder of Astrea Strategies, a consultancy that bridges contemplation and action, helping leaders and teams envision and communicate solutions to complex challenges. Justin lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with his wife and three children.
About Leigh Marz:
Leigh Marz is a collaboration and leadership coach for major universities, corporations, and federal agencies as well as a longtime student of pioneering researchers and practitioners of the ritualized use of psychedelic medicines in the West. She has led training programs to promote an experimental mindset among teams at NASA and a decade-long cross-sector collaboration to reduce toxic chemicals in products, in partnership with Green Science Policy Institute, Harvard University, IKEA, Google, and Kaiser Permanente. Leigh is the coauthor of Golden: The Power of Silence in a World of Noise, published by HarperCollins in the US, Penguin/Random House in the UK, and globally in 11 other languages. She is the co-founder of Astrea Strategies. Leigh lives in Berkeley, California, with her husband and daughter.
Related Episodes:
139. Neurodharma with Rick Hanson (Part 1)
140. Neurodharma with Rick Hanson (Part 2)
177. Mind-Body Practices for Stress and Overwhelm with Rebekkah LaDyne
201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Neff
210. Strategies for Becoming Safely Embodied with Deirdre Fay
232. Grounded to Soar Into 2022 with Brad Stulberg
251. Wonder with Frank Keil
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| 276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson | 09 Nov 2022 | 01:11:50 | |
Assertive communication is one of the most important skills when it comes to human relationships. Be it in the workplace, with family, or in friendships, it is a skill that you must learn to develop in order to communicate in ways that are respectful, clear, and effective. Without assertive communication, your goals will be difficult to meet.
Joining us for this episode is Randy Paterson, Psychologist, Director of Changeways Clinic, and Author of The Assertiveness Workbook. Randy breaks down the significance of assertive communication and associated misconceptions, when assertiveness is not always the best approach, and the different communication styles you can use to confidently express your needs, wants, and opinions in your personal and professional life.
Listen and Learn:
What assertive communication skills are and why they are important
How people can benefit from practicing assertive communication skills
When assertive communication isn't always the best approach
Randy’s thoughts on picking your battles
The challenges that come with assertive communication
Understanding the different communication styles and how to use them
The link between control and assertive communication
Analyzing gender-related differences in communication styles
The specifics of assertive communication and examples
How to structure requests for desired outcomes
The best way to give and receive feedback, both positive and negative
Resources:
Learn more about Randy at his webpage: https://www.randypaterson.com/
Check out Randy’s books The Assertiveness Workbook, How to be Miserable, How to be Miserable in Your Twenties, Private Practice Made Simple, and Your Depression Map.
Read Debbie’s blog post on Assertive Communication
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych, including Yael’s new book, Work, Parent, Thrive!
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Randy Paterson: Dr. Randy Paterson is a psychologist in Vancouver, British Columbia. He is the director of Changeways Clinic; and provides training programs across Canada and internationally on evidence-based mental health practice. He is the author of several books, including: How to Be Miserable, How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties, Private Practice Made Simple, and The Assertiveness Workbook, which is now in its second edition. He offers courses for professionals and the public through his online teaching website, psychologysalon.teachable.com.
Related Episodes:
216. Managing Anger and Irritability, Featuring Russell Kolts
246. Burnout and Boundaries with Tammie Chang
252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us
255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance
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| 275. Work, Parent, Thrive with Yael Schonbrun | 02 Nov 2022 | 01:09:26 | |
Working parenthood is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes the stress of toggling between family and professional roles can feel like too much! And... it can also be a meaningful source of joy, inspiration, and creativity.
In this extra special episode, we talk to our very own co-host, Dr. Yael Schonbrun about her new book, Work, Parent Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much). Yael draws on psychology research as well as her own experience as a working mom of three, to offer ideas that will help even the most stressed of working parents! This book banishes the idea that the key to ultimate working parenthood is the ability to do it all. Instead, the key is to learn how these roles, together, help you thrive.
Listen and Learn:
● How Yael’s own experience as a hard-working mother of three informed her ideas for her book.
● How to shift from a “work family conflict mindset” to a “work family enrichment mindset”
● Why interruptions that feel really annoying might actually be good for you.
● Whether or not finding perfect work-life balance is a realistic goal (spoiler alert: it’s not)
● The role of values in making choices about work and family
● How to deal with parental guilt effectively
● How working parenthood offers opportunities for growth
● About how cooking has offered Jill a lesson in when to grit and when to quit
● The power of rest, and what Yael is up to on her tech-free Saturday sabbath days
Resources:
● Get your copy of Work, Parent, Thrive!
● Check out Yael’s webpage and her POTC episodes!
● Read Yael’s New York Times article on working parenthood, and other media appearances in the Wall Street Journal, Greater Good Science Center, Behavioral Scientist, Kveller, Lilith Magazine, The Wise Brain Bulletin, Psychology Today, and Motherly.
● Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
● Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Yael: Dr. Yael Schonbrun is a co-host of the greatest podcast of all times, Psychologists Off the Clock, and that’s all you need to know about her.
Just kidding! Yael Schonbrun, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, and mother of three. She has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and completed her postgraduate training at Brown University. Yael’s academic research explores the interaction between relationship problems and mental health conditions. She has authored the book Work, Parent Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much), as well as chapters in several books and dozens of scientific articles. In her private practice, writing, and podcasting, Yael uses evidence-based science to help individuals and couples learn to manage work, parenting, and marriage in more effective and fulfilling ways. Yael’s writing on work, parenting, and relationships has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Greater Good Science Center, Behavioral Scientist, Kveller, Lilith Magazine, The Wise Brain Bulletin, Psychology Today, and Motherly. You can follow her on Twitter, where she posts about the science and practice of work and family.
Related Episodes:
- 24. Choosing Both: Straddling Meaningful Career and Parenthood with Yael Schonbrun
- 33. Couples with Young Children: Relationship Challenges and Strategies with Yael Schonbrun
- 83. The Tao of Work and Family Balance with Tod Perry and Carl Totton
- 174. How to Work and Parent Mindfully with Lori Mihalich-Levin
- 211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz
- 267. You are Not a Horrible Parent with Carla Naumburg
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| 274. Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood with Satya Doyle Byock | 26 Oct 2022 | 01:02:46 | |
If you're trying to figure out how to navigate this whole adulthood thing, and maybe even do some personal growth along the way, we have the perfect episode for you this week!
Listen in as Debbie talks with Satya Doyle Byock, Jungian psychotherapist, and author of the book Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood. Satya shares her ideas about the struggle to find both meaning and stability in adulthood, and offers ideas for fostering psychological growth.
Listen and Learn:
Hear Debbie's attempt to "nutshell" all of Jungian psychology in two minutes or less (Jungians everywhere, please forgive her!)
Some of the unique aspects of the stage of quarterlife (or early adulthood, typically in the 20s and early 30s), and why Satya loves working with this age group in her clinical practice.
Why quarterlife can be a time of "crisis" for some people, and how it can be viewed as an opportunity for psychological growth
How the traditional markers of adulthood reflect acquisition culture.
How the traditional markers of adulthood reflect acquisition culture.
The tension between seeking meaning and stability, and the unique challenges faced by "meaning types" and "stability types"
What Carl Jung had to say about the "serpentine path" of self-exploration
Why it can be worthwhile to explore the darker, "shadow" aspects of ourselves
The four pillars of psychological growth
How Jungian and behavioral psychology approaches might have more in common than you realize! (And yes, non-therapist listeners, we know you might not care about this at all!)
Resources:
Buy the book Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood!
Find Satya online at SatyaByock.com and follow her on Instagram @satyabyock.
Check out some online salons & seminars on classical Jungian psychology and its current application at SalomeInstitute.com and on Instagram: @satyabyock.
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Satya
Satya Doyle Byock is a psychotherapist in private practice in Portland, Oregon and the author of Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood (Random House, 2022). Her clinical work and writing focus on how developmental psychology attends to the first twenty years of adulthood, incorporating a depth psychological as well as social justice lens. Rather than just emphasize the search for security and stability in this stage of life, Satya has introduced a framework for an exploration of meaning as well.
Satya’s clinical work, writing, and teaching are rooted in Jungian psychology, trauma-informed care, and historical research. She teaches online at The Salome Institute of Jungian Studies, which she founded and directs.
You can find her at SatyaByock.com and SalomeInstitute.com and on Instagram: @satyabyock.
Related Episodes
138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser
116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune
79. Thriving In Adolescence with Louise Hayes
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| 273. A More Just Future with Dolly Chugh | 19 Oct 2022 | 01:02:22 | |
Doing social justice work of any kind, whether it's in our homes with their families or out in the world causes us to encounter uncomfortable feelings like confusion, shame, guilt, and overwhelm. But, according to Dolly Chugh, the author of a powerful new book, A More Justice Future, it isn't a problem to have those emotions; it's more a question of what should we do with them? Join the conversation with Dolly to gain insights into our wired-in biases, our natural emotional responses to reckoning with a painful past and present, and science-backed tools to use our responses more skillfully to build a more just future.
About Dolly Chugh:
Dr. Dolly Chugh is an award-winning social psychologist at NYU Stern School of Business where she studies bounded ethicality, or what she calls the psychology of good people. In 2018, she delivered a popular TED talk, “How to Let Go of Being a Good Person and Become a Better Person.” She is the author of The Person You Mean to Be, which offered the argument that the more we believe we are already good people, the harder it is to become better people. And her new book, which we are here to discuss, is A More Justice Future.
Listen and Learn:
The power of learning to pronounce one another’s names
The paradox of the narrative around American pioneers, like the Laura Ingalls Wilder family
The value of being a lifelong “unlearner”
How principles from acceptance and commitment therapy can help us reckon with the past
How to unhook from the dominant cultural narratives to capture greater accuracy and more helpful nuance
How studies of home team bias and group identity in sports help us understand that bias is wired into us as part of being human
How Dolly understands the controversy around Critical Race Theory
Different narratives around history, and what are the most useful kinds of narratives to adopt.
What is a paradox mindset and how to practice having one
How stories we tell about our history problematically obscure how change happens
The power of a growth mindset in doing social justice work
How to build more nuance into some of our cultural fables (and why we should)
The fable of Dolly's own life that she's worked to introduce nuance into
Resources:
Dolly’s website
A More Justice Future, by Dolly Chugh
The Person You Mean to Be, by Dolly Chugh
Dolly’s TEDx Talk, How to Let Go of Being a Good Person and Become a Better Person
Related Episodes
Episode 200: Growing Grit with Angela Duckworth
Episode 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer
Episode 256. Social Justice Parenting with Tracy Baxley
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| 272. Middle School Matters with Phyllis Fagell | 12 Oct 2022 | 01:10:36 | |
Parenting books and research on kids often lump middle schoolers together with young elementary school kids or older adolescents. This obscures the fact that middle school is its own distinct phase. Join Jill as she talks with therapist, school counselor, and middle school expert, Phyllis Fagell, about the unique challenges middle schoolers face and how parents can help them build key skills to thrive. Fagell sees middle school as parents’ “last best chance” to influence their kids at a time when they are still impressionable and still really care what their parents think.
Listen and Learn:
· What Yael’s friends and son shared were their greatest middle school challenges
· Why middle school matters—what is unique about this development stage and why we should attend to it
· How we can encourage critical thinking in middle schoolers using hypothetical scenarios
· The importance of purpose, what purpose really means, and how to help kids connect with theirs
· Why kids tell lies and how to handle it when they do
· How to manage tough questions about sex, drugs, and other challenging topics
· The difference between bullying and other interpersonal challenges and when to intervene vs letting kids work things out on their own
About Phyllis Fagell
Phyllis L. Fagell, LCPC is the school counselor at Sheridan School in Washington, DC, a therapist who works with kids and families in
private practice, and an author and journalist. She's the author of “Middle School Matters” and a frequent contributor to the Washington Post. She also freelances for publications including Psychology Today, CNN, Working Mother, U.S. News & World Report and Your Teen, and her ideas have been shared in outlets including The New York Times,The Atlantic, The New Yorker, Edutopia, Mindshift and NPR. Phyllis currently is working on her next book, "Middle School Superpowers, Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times," (Hachette, August '23). She lives in Bethesda, MD with her husband and three children.
Resources:
Phyllis’s website and sign up for her
newsletter: https://phyllisfagell.com
Phyllis’s twitter: @pfagell
Related Episodes
· Episode 79. Thriving in Adolescence with Louise Hayes
· Episode 113. Self-Compassion for Parents with Susan Pollak
· Episode 159. Challenging Time During Adolescence with Louise Hayes
· Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks
· Episode 240. Talking to Kids and Teens with Big Feelings with Adele LaFrance
· Episode 265. Social Justice Parenting with Traci Baxley
· Episode 267. You Are Not a Horrible Parent with Carla Naumburg
Offers and Events:
The way we approach and treat trauma has been evolving – even in just the last several years. The National Institute for the Clinical
Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM) has interviewed the top experts in the treatment of trauma and narrowed down hours of interviews to a carefully curated training program. Each week, all the experts focus on a single topic in trauma treatment. It’s free to watch the weekly course broadcasts, you just have to sign up at TraumaMasterSeries.com/POTC Or, you can purchase the Gold
Package to own the complete program (with transcripts, video and audio downloads and bonuses) at 50% off the normal price!
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| 271. Cultivating Friendships in Adulthood Featuring Adam Dorsay | 06 Oct 2022 | 01:09:18 | |
Friendships matter deeply for our mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. But unlike kids, adults generally don’t knock on their neighbors’ doors and say, “Hey wanna come outside and play?” Making and keeping friends in adulthood is tricky (to say the least). Join us for a special conversation about friendship. In the first half of this episode, Yael and Debbie discuss how they see some of the issues in cultivating friendships in adulthood. The second half of this episode features clinical psychologist, Adam Dorsay, whose TEDx talk, Friendships in Adulthood: Five Things to Know lays out important ideas we can all learn from. Tune in to learn about common challenges and tips for overcoming them, what to look for in friends, how to be a good friend yourself, and much more.
Listen and Learn:
The science behind why quality (not quantity) friendships are so important in adulthood
Common challenges to making friends in adulthood
The problem of loneliness
The challenges inherent in investing in adult friendships relationships
The dangers of expecting too much of any one friend and how to overcome that challenge
Ideas for finding new friends
Considerations in choosing friends
Understanding what being a good friend looks like
Data on why is friendship good for our love lives
About Adam Dorsay
Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and a certified executive coach working in private practice in San Jose, CA. He is the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, a resiliency program based out of FaceBook’s headquarters. In 2021, Adam was a featured TEDx speaker on the topic of friendships in adulthood.
Resources:
Adam’s website: https://dradamdorsay.com/
Adam’s TEDx talk: Friendships in Adulthood: Five Things to Know
Article on the power of the casual check-in
Related Episodes:
Episode 85. Emotion Efficacy with Aprilia West
Episode 113. Self-Compassion for Parents with Susan Pollak
Episode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen
Episode 266. Future Tense with Tracy Dennis-Tiwary
Episode 269. Connection Through Vulnerability with Rikke Kjelgaar
Offers and Events:
The way we approach and treat trauma has been evolving – even in just the last several years. The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM) has interviewed the top experts in the treatment of trauma and narrowed down hours of interviews to a carefully curated training program. Each week, all the experts focus on a single topic in trauma treatment. It’s free to watch the weekly course broadcasts, you just have to sign up at TraumaMasterSeries.com/POTC Or, you can purchase the Gold Package to own the complete program (with transcripts, video and audio downloads and bonuses) at 50% off the normal price!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices | |||
| Bonus Episode: Regret with Daniel Pink (excerpt from A Slight Change of Plans podcast) | 03 Oct 2022 | 00:11:39 | |
In this special bonus episode, we hear an excerpt from Daniel Pink, author of the book The Power of Regret, on the podcast A Slight Change of Plans, cohosted by cognitive scientist Dr. Maya Shankar.
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| 365. Tightwads and Spendthrifts with Scott Rick | 24 Jul 2024 | 00:58:22 | |
Money talk can be a real minefield in relationships, especially if you and your partner or spouse have totally different spending habits. If this sounds familiar then you’ve got to check out our latest episode with Dr. Scott Rick, a behavioral scientist and the author of Tightwads and Spendthrifts. We tackle questions like whether tightwads and spendthrifts can actually find harmony together and uncover insights from his original research on the psychology of money management in relationships. Tune in to discover how your financial mindset could be impacting your love life and get actionable tips to transform your money management anxieties!
Listen and Learn:
How our psychology not only influences how we handle money, but the way we handle money also influences our psychology
Defining tightwads, spendthrifts, and unconflicted consumers
Does research suggest who is more likely to be a tightwad or spendthrift, and are there differences beyond how much money they make?
The most harmonious versus more conflictual pairings among Tightwads and Spenthroots
Are couples with joint accounts and some financial translucency more likely to have higher marital satisfaction than full transparency?
Scott’s strategies for both tightwads and spendthrifts to manage their spending anxieties
Why letting the tightwad parent handle toy purchases and the spendthrift plan vacations can lead to lasting family happiness
How to teach your kids about money and responsibility while balancing their hobbies and preparing them for real-life financial decisions
Resources:
scottrick.com
Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships
https://www.instagram.com/likelyshopping/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/scottianrick/
https://twitter.com/scottianrick
About Scott Rick
Scott Rick is a marketing professor at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. He holds a PhD in Behavioral Decision Research from Carnegie Mellon University, where he was a National Science Foundation graduate research fellow. He has published research in premier journals spanning marketing, psychology, economics, and neuroscience. At the University of Michigan, he has won awards for both research and teaching. Rick's research has been covered extensively in outlets such as The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and NPR. His first book, Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships, was published in January 2024 by St. Martin’s Press.
Related Episodes:
182. Do More With Less: How to Stretch in Work and Life with Scott Sonenshein
142. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) with Patrick McGinnis
217. Redefining Rich with Shannon Hayes
291. Finding Freedom From Regret with Robert Leahy
284. Things We Love with Aaron Ahuvia
296. Money and Love with Abby Davisson
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| 270. How Am I Doing? with Cory Yeager | 28 Sep 2022 | 00:59:05 | |
In order to show up as our best selves for others, for all the roles that matter most to us, and to make the world a better place, we need to be able to have the important conversations with ourselves. In his new book, How Am I Doing?: 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself, Dr. Cory Yeager, a clinical psychologist and therapist for the Detroit Pistons, offers us 40 questions to help us start those important conversations with ourselves. Join Dr. Cory and Yael for a powerful conversation about why we need to have these conversations with ourselves and how to get that conversation started.
Listen and Learn:
Why we should be having more conversation with ourselves
What can get in the way (and how to overcome it)
The value of balanced positivity in the face of racial injustice
What narrative solution focused therapy is
How to form a helpful internal supreme court
How to move from making the “right”choices to making your choices right
Why being vulnerable can free you
Why moving forward often requires us also to look back
What you can do with just 23 seconds
Resources:
How Am I Doing?: 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself, By Cory Yeager
Dr. Corey’s website
About Dr. Corey Yeager
Dr. Cory Yeager is a therapist who merges his two main passions–athletics and therapy–as the Detroit Piston’s psychotherapist. In this role, he supports the overall organization, individual players, coaching staff, and front office leadership. His work also aims to advance dialogue about race and racism and he has facilitated conversation across the country with various organizations including The Oprah Winfrey Network and elsewhere. And he is also known for his appearance on Harry and Oprah's show, The Me You Can’t See on Apple TV+.
Related Episodes
Episode 85. Emotion Efficacy with Aprilia West
Episode 183. Permission to Feel with Marc Brackett
Episode 265. The Power of Emotions at Work with Karla McLaren
Episode 269. Connection Through Vulnerability with Rikke Kjelgaar
Offers and Events through POTC:
The way we approach and treat trauma has been evolving – even in just the last several years. The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM) has interviewed the top experts in the treatment of trauma and narrowed down hours of interviews to a carefully curated training program. Each week, all the experts focus on a single topic in trauma treatment. It’s free to watch the weekly course broadcasts, you just have to sign up at TraumaMasterSeries.com/POTC Or, you can purchase the Gold Package to own the complete program (with transcripts, video and audio downloads and bonuses) at 50% off the normal price!
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| 269. Connection Through Vulnerability with Rikke Kjelgaard | 22 Sep 2022 | 01:06:03 | |
Do you want to be a badass? Sometimes being a badass means asking for help, being vulnerable, and admitting you can’t do it all on your own. Join Jill as she talks with psychologist and ACT trainer, Rikke Kjelgaard about how to live a full and meaningful life through psychological flexibility. In this episode, Rikke and Jill get personal, sharing their own vulnerable stories and experiences in hopes of inspiring listeners to get out of their comfort zones and get brave.
Listen and Learn:
What it means to live “full size” and be a badass
How Rikke’s learning history led her to be a “superwoman” who never asked for help—and how she overcame this
How childhood patterns “work” when they develop but cease to be helpful later in life
The importance of discriminating in what contexts behaviors work or don’t work
The importance of connection and community, especially when being psychologically flexible gets hard
A values clarification exercise developed by one of Jill’s clients
The importance of holding outcomes lightly
How to play big even after you get cut down
About Rikke Kjelgaard
Rikke Kjelgaard is a licensed psychologist, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, an awarded fellow of the ACBS, author, speaker and chief rock’n’roller in her own business. Rikke is on a mission to help therapists thrive and to be brave and authentic helpers. Trained as a clinical psychologist, she has a 15 year background in the science of human behaviour and the practice of behaviour change. Rikke is a popular speaker at the Scandinavian as well as the international stage, and she is known to bring both passion and vulnerability to her talks. She transforms the lives of her audience by bringing evidence based strategies to her listeners in ways that are edible, manageable and impactful. Rikke is known to leave her audience in tears with compelling stories from her own life and to create extraordinary interactions between people.
Resources
Rikke’s essay in Passionately Striving in Why: An Anthology of Women Who Persevere Mightily to Live Their Purpose: https://www.rikkekjelgaard.com/passionately-striving-in-why/
Rikke’s website: www.rikkekjelgaard.com
Rikke’s ACT Practitioner’s Academy that opens on October 1st:
https://www.rikkekjelgaard.com/actpractitionersacademy/
Related Episodes
265. The Power of Emotions at Work
262. Hope and Values in Dark Times with Us
252. Getting the Help You Need with Us
238. Values During Times of Transition with Us
198. Belonging From the Inside Out with Meg McKelvie
198. Break the Good Girl Myth with Majo Molfino
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| 268. Coping with Suicidal Thoughts with Kathryn H. Gordon | 14 Sep 2022 | 01:10:24 | |
Suicidal thoughts are a more common human experience than you may realize, and many lives are impacted by suicide. Often suicidal thoughts are an indication that a person is in emotional pain, and there are tools that can help. Talking more openly about suicide can help to reduce stigma, and encourage people to reach out for support.
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and this week we are grateful to have Dr. Katie Gordon, a suicide expert and author of The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook on the show. In this conversation, Katie shares practical ideas that will be helpful for people having suicidal thoughts, as well as their friends and family who want to support them.
Listen and Learn:
How stigma about suicide can can get in the way of much-needed support, and why we at POTC think it’s important to talk more openly about suicidal thoughts.
Why people think about suicide
Ways to cope with suicidal thoughts and urges
The role of hope and hopelessness in suicidal thinking
The importance of belonging and meaning in suicide prevention
How to support a loved one who is thinking about suicide.
About safety planning for a suicidal crisis
Resources
Pick up a copy of Katie's book, The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)
Crisis Text Line
Website for International Suicide Hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
National Sexual Assault Hotline
Trans Lifeline
The Trevor Project
Rocky Mountain MIRECC for Veteran Suicide Prevention
Suicide Prevention Resource Center
Click here for information on what to do when someone is suicidal
Click here for information on what not to say about suicide
The My3 Safety Planning App
The Virtual Hope Box App for Apple and Google Play
Postvention Alliance (for coping with suicide attempts or suicide)
SPRC Postvention Resources
Uniting for Suicide Postvention
Click here for information on how to talk to a child about a suicide attempt
Safety Planning Intervention Webpage
A suicide safety plan quick guide
Two different options for safety planning templates can be found here and here
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Katie Gordon
Kathryn Hope Gordon, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist. She lives in the Boston area and specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Prior to working as a therapist, Gordon was a professor for ten years. She is a mental health researcher who has published more than 80 scientific articles and book chapters on suicidal behavior, disordered eating, and related topics. Her clinical scientist approach is informed by her graduate training at Florida State University, and her predoctoral internship at the University of Chicago Medical Center. She is the author of The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook: CBT Skills to Reduce Emotional Pain, Increase Hope, and Prevent Suicide. Gordon cohosts the Psychodrama podcast, blogs for Psychology Today, and shares mental health information through her website: www.kathrynhgordon.com. She writes a newsletter called Mental Health Minute, which you can subscribe to here. She is licensed in Massachusetts, Minnesota, and North Dakota and provides suicide prevention trainings to clinicians.
Related Episodes:
Episode 190. ACT for Suicide Prevention with Sean Barnes
Episode 261. The Secret Life of Secrets with Michael Slepian
Episode 118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth
Episode 77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard
Episode 138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser
Episode 116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune
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| 267. You are Not a Horrible Parent with Carla Naumburg | 07 Sep 2022 | 01:27:40 | |
If you think you’re a horrible parent, well, you’re not alone! Thinking we such at parenting seems to be an inherent part of parenting made worse by the pandemic, financial stressors, and general unease we live with. The wise and witty Carla Naumburg joins us to share tools from her latest book, You are Not a Sh*tty Parent. Along with some humor and spicy language, we can self-compassion to better cope with the unavoidable stressors of parenting.
Listen and Learn:
What is self-compassion and what isn’t it
How self-compassion differs from being nice
Why engaging in self-criticism to connect gets us in trouble
The metaphor of first versus second arrows and how this helps us understand how to better respond to our suffering
Noticing practices
Practices to connect to the present
Practices to connect to common humanity
Practices of curiosity
About Carla:
Carla Naumburg is an author, clinical social worker, and mother. She’s the author of five non-fiction books, including her international bestseller, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids as well as You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent. Carla’s writing has appeared in a variety of online and print publications, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Mindful Magazine, Slate.com, Psychology Today, WBUR’s Cognoscenti Blog, Brain, Child, Motherwell, Parents.com, PsychCentral, and Today Moms.
Resources:
Article on the dangers of body positivity: What’s the Difference Between Body Positivity and Body Neutrality?
Carla’s website
Book: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids
Pre-order You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent here!
Related Episodes:
Episode 75. Mindful Self-Compassion with Christopher Germer
Episode 80. Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics with Jeff Warren
Episode 113. Self-Compassion for Parents with Susan Pollak
Episode 129. Yoga for All and Body Kindness with Jennifer Webb
Episode 149. How Not to Lose it with Your Kids with Carla Naumberg
Episode 201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Neff
Episode 223 Mom Brain Returns with Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco
Episode 251. Wonder with Frank Keil
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| 266. Future Tense with Tracy Dennis-Tiwary | 31 Aug 2022 | 01:07:06 | |
Anxiety has long gotten a bad wrap. But maybe part of why anxiety is so much on the rise and harming so many people comes back to how we understand anxiety. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, author Future Tense: Why Anxiety is Good for You (Even Though it Feels Bad) joins us to discuss why re-thinking anxiety can help us out. As Adam Grant noted in his blurb, this conversation and this book “Is going smash your existing views about anxiety and replace them with more helpful ones.”
Listen and Learn:
The three principles of being anxious in the right way
Tracy’s insights into the difference between fear, stress, anxiety, and anxiety disorders
Why anxiety has a public relations problem
What are the useful functions of anxiety
Why hope is so fundamental to anxiety
How shifting our anxiety mindset can help treatment for anxiety disorders more effective
Why the medical model of treating anxiety is so problematic
Why children, even children with anxiety, are anti-fragile (and how to wisely approach anxiety in youth)
In-the-moment strategies to manage an upsurge in anxiety
What Attention Bias Modification is and how it works to help us manage anxiety
The connection between anxiety and creativity
Resources:
Jeremy Jamieson’s study of mindest shift for individuals with social anxiety
Study cited investigating the link between creativity and anxiety
Alia Crum’s Ted Talk
Kelly McGonigal’s Ted Talk
Tracy's website
Tracy's book, Future Tense: Why Anxiety is Good for You (Even Though it Feels Bad)
About Tracy Dennis-Tiwary
Tracy A. Dennis-Tiwary, is a professor of psychology and neuroscience, Director of the Emotion Regulation Lab, and Co-Executive Director of the Center for Health Technology at Hunter College. Her company, Wise Therapeutics, translates neuroscience and cognitive therapy techniques into gamified, clinically validated digital therapeutics for mental health. Dr. Dennis-Tiwary has published over 100 scientific articles and delivered over 400 presentations at academic conferences and for corporate clients, and has been featured throughout the media, including the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, ABC, CBS, CNN, NPR, The Today Show, and Bloomberg Television. You can find Tracy at her website or on Twitter.
Related Episodes:
Episode 209. The Art of Managing Pressure with Hank Weisinger
Episode 227. The Science of Happy with Sonja Lyubomirsky
Episode 233. Dopamine Nation with Anna Lembke
Episode 235: The Urge with Dr. Carl Erik Fisher
Episode 259. Rethinking Delusions with Victoria Sheperd
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| 265. The Power of Emotions at Work with Karla McLaren | 24 Aug 2022 | 01:13:08 | |
If you think emotions don't belong in the workplace, think again! Emotions, when welcomed and respected, are an essential part of productive and healthy workplace environments. In this episode, Debbie talks with Karla McLaren about the power of emotions at work, problems with the modern workplace environment, and her ideas for how to implement real cultural change at work.
Listen and Learn:
Why Debbie is such a big fan of Karla's work on emotions at work.
Reasons why so many workplaces are "toxic" and what makes them so.
The toll of invisible emotional labor.
Why emotions are important and necessary at work.
Ways we can foster better communication and more humane workplace environments.
About Karla McLaren:
Karla McLaren, M.Ed. is an award-winning author, social science researcher, workplace consultant, and empathy pioneer. Her lifelong work focuses on her grand unified theory of emotions, which revalues even the most “negative” emotions and opens startling new pathways into self-awareness, effective communication, and healthy empathy. She is the founder and CEO of Emotion Dynamics LLC and the developer of the Empathy Academy online learning site. Her applied work, Dynamic Emotional Integration® (also known as DEI) is a trailblazing approach to emotions and empathy that reveals the genius and the healing power within the emotional realm. Karla has also developed the groundbreaking Six Essential Aspects of Empathy model that highlights all of the processes in healthy empathy and makes them easily understandable, accessible, and attainable. Karla is the author of The Power of Emotions at Work: Accessing the Vital Intelligence in Your Workplace (2021), Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of this Vital Emotion (2020), The Dynamic Emotional Integration® Workbook (2018), The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life’s Most Essential Skill (2013), The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings are Trying to Tell You (2010), and the multi-media online course Emotional Flow: Becoming Fluent in the Language of Emotions (2012). Karla has won several honors and awards, including the 2010 Gold Medal from the Independent Publisher Book Awards. Karla has taught at such venues as the University of San Francisco, Esalen, Bioneers, Naropa University, Kripalu Center, and the Association for Humanistic Psychology. She’s also a Certified Human Resource Administrator and a Certified Career Development Facilitator with a Master’s Degree in Education. She lives in Sonoma County, California.
Resources:
Grab your copy of Karla's book, The Power of Emotions at Work: Accessing the Vital Intelligence in Your Workplace (2021)
Grab copies of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
Related Episodes:
207. Burnout with Debbie and Jill
183. Permission to Feel: Emotional Intelligence with Marc Brackett
130. Working Less with Alex Pang
45. Rest with Alex Pang
230. The Laziness Lie with Devon Price
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| 264. Raising Intuitive Eaters with Sumner Brooks and Amee Severson | 18 Aug 2022 | 01:08:27 | |
Many of us grew up being told we must be members of “the clean plate club” or that we shouldn’t waste food because there are starving children in other countries. The diet industry rakes in billions, profiting off messages around striving for an unattainable “thin ideal.” All of this contributes to the development of unhealty relationships with food and our bodies. As parents, we are at risk of passing along unhealthy messages and patterns. In this episode, Jill interviews Sumner Brooks and Amee Severson about how we can break these patterns and raise children outside the toxic diet mentality so they have healthier relationships with food and their bodies.
Listen and Learn:
What is meant by “intuitive eating.”
What is diet culture and why is it problematic
The inaccuracy of data around obesity and morbidity/mortality
The three keys to raising an intuitive eater
Why it’s important to talk about bodies
The power of modeling healthy attitudes and behaviors toward food and bodies
The difficulty and importance of letting go of over-control
How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can help
Resources
Sumner and Amee’s book, How to Raise an Intuitive Eater
Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resche’s book Intuitive Eating
The ALLHAT study about the surprising relationship between BMI and cardiovascular risk.
About Sumner Brooks and Amee Severson
Sumner Brooks is a mom and licensed registered dietitian nutritionist (LD, RDN) based in Oregon who has spent over 13 years working in the field of nutrition and eating disorders. Her experience includes providing nutrition therapy for adolescents and adults, public speaking and pursuing advanced training in trauma-informed, weight-inclusive healthcare. She is also the founder of the online training platform Eating Disorder Registered Dietitians and Professionals (EDRD Pro).
Amee Severson a Registered Dietitian (RD) in the Washington State (CD) with a private practice outside of Seattle, Washington. Amee specializes in eating disorder recovery, healing and preserving food-body relationships, and focuses on gender-inclusive and LGBTQ+ affirming care. She is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and a Certified Body Trust Provider.
Related Episodes
Episode 231. Eating Skills and Emotional Eating with Josh Hillis
Episode 68. Body Image and Eating Disorders with Emily Sandoz
Episode 129. Yoga for All and Body Kindness with Jennifer Webb
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| 263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson | 10 Aug 2022 | 01:21:08 | |
Many of us grew up with or are in a current relationship with someone who is emotionally immature. And if that’s the case, you may feel anger towards that person, and a lingering sense of loneliness and anxiety in intimate relationships. Lindsay Gibson, the author of the bestselling book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, helps us understand why these relationships cause us such pain, how to heal, and even how to navigate relationships with an emotionally immature person in our adult life. Join us to learn how to find a new way to be in relationship with an emotionally immature person.
Listen and Learn:
Why Lindsay first began writing and treating adult children of emotionally immature parents
The value of understanding what emotional immaturity is, but also the caution we should use in applying labels
The hallmark qualities of emotional immaturity (and emotional maturity)
The research that highlights why being raised by an emotionally immature parent can cause such long-term pain
The surprising stance Lindsay has on cultivating compassion for an emotionally immature person
Strategies for growing relationships in that don't resemble those which you were raised with
Understand how you can help a relationship with an emotionally immature person grow
Lindsey’s thoughts on estrangement from an emotionally immature parent or partner
Resources
Ed Tronick’s still face experiment
Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them, by Karl Pillemer
Atlantic Article: Why Parents and Kids Get Estranged
About Lindsay Gibson
Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is author of Who You Were Meant to Be and writes a monthly column on well-being for Tidewater Women magazine and she’s here today to talk with me about her books, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Recovering From Emotionally Immature Parents. Welcome, Linsday!
Related Episodes
Episode 85. Emotion Efficacy with Aprilia West
Episode 98. Narcissism with Avigail Lev and Robyn Walser
Episode 183. Permission to Feel with Marc Brackett
Episode 186. Set Boundaries, Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab
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| 262. Hope and Values in Dark Times with Us | 03 Aug 2022 | 01:09:33 | |
The world is chock full of bad news right now, and many are feeling the impacts. From war to revocation of rights, the world around us can easily (and not unreasonably) feel hopeless. On this week’s episode of POTC, Debbie, Yael, Jill, and Michael come together to discuss the psychological impact of the socio-political climate as well as practical advice for navigating these difficult times. Join us in this episode to learn expert-approved strategies for fostering hope and compassion in times of anger, using anger in values-oriented ways, distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy avoidance, and much more today.
Listen and Learn:
The psychological impact of the socio-political climate
Practical advice for living consistently with your values during hard times
The validity in feeling numb, detaching, and isolating
Important distinctions in healthy and unhealthy avoidance
Expert-approved strategies for using anger in healthy ways
The cognitive load of uncertainty and practical advice for tolerating it
Evidence-based methods for fostering hope and taking action
Role-models who endured hopelessness with bravery and compassion
The strategies the POTC team uses to foster hope in their personal lives
How to balance feelings of guilt and shame
Practical advice for deciding when it’s time for self-care and when it’s time for taking action
Expert-approved strategies for staying informed without burning out or doom scrolling
How to have difficult conversations about heavy socio-political topics with even the most difficult of people
Clarifying your values by finding the grains of sugar in life
Resources:
Read Melinda Moyer’s article, The 'Psychic Numbing" of Mass Tragedies
Read Jane Goodall and Douglas Abrams’ book, The Book of Hope: A Survival Guide for Trying Times
Check out Michael in his cow hat and with Jane Goodall!
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About our team:
Debbie Sorensen, PhD, (she/her) is a psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado She is co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. You can learn more about Debbie, read her blog, and find out about upcoming presentations and training events at her webpage, drdebbiesorensen.com.
Yael Schonbrun, PhD, (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist and assistant professor at Brown University. Yael’s book, Work, Parent, Thrive comes out in November and is available for pre-order now!
Jill Stoddard, PhD, (she/her) is a clinical psychologist and author of The Big Book of ACT Metaphors: A Practitioner’s Guide to Experiential Exercises and Metaphors in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Be Mighty: A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance.
Michael Herold (he/him) is the head coach at The Art of Charm and a public speaker and speaker coach. Clients he has coached for presentations have been featured on NBC, Fast Company, Forbes, and the Oprah Winfrey Network.
Related Episodes:
Episode 201. Fierce Compassion with Kristin Neff
Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner Moyer
Episode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen
Episode 260. Health Anxiety with Karen Lynn Cassiday
Episode 230. The Laziness Lie with Devon Price
Episode 259. Rethinking Delusions with Victoria Sheperd
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| 261. The Secret Life of Secrets with Michael Slepian | 27 Jul 2022 | 01:09:52 | |
Secrets are a double-edged sword. They can both inflict and remedy physical and psychological injury for us and our loved ones. But regardless of whether they offer benefit, keeping secrets is often burdensome for the keeper. Michael Slepian, author of The Secret Life of Secrets, has dedicated his career to the psychology of secrets and how keeping secrets affect variables that govern social and organizational life. In this episode of POTC, Michael and Yael discuss the personal and relational value in sharing as well as the impact of keeping secrets. Join us in this episode for surprising statistics and findings on secret-keeping, practical advice on assessing when and how to share your secrets, evidence-based strategies on building trust, and much much more, today!
Listen and Learn:
Yael and Debbie discuss the power of tightly held secrets
Why secret-keeping is often overlooked in the realm of mental health
Michael’s expert definition of secrecy
Important distinctions between deception and private information
The impact of secret-keeping on our well-being
Some surprising findings from Michael’s research on secret-keeping
The first steps in overcoming a tightly held or particularly burdensome secret
The hazards and gifts associated with professional secret-keeping as a clinician
Revealing statistics on secrets and secret-keeping
An expert definition of ambitious secrets
Practical advice on assessing when and how to share your secrets
Guidelines for helping children understand the differences between the right to privacy and the dangers of keeping certain kinds of secrets
Pros and cons of snooping
Evidence-based strategies on building trust
Michael’s coping compass and how it can help you decide whether or not to disclose a secret
Michael’s personal experiences sharing and learning secrets
The personal and relational value in sharing secrets
Resources:
Buy your copy of Michael’s book, The Secret Life of Secrets: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Well-Being, Relationships, and Who We Are!
Michael’s study, Relieving the burdens of secrecy: Revealing secrets influences judgments of hill slant and distance
Check out Danny Shapiro’s book Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Michael Slepian:
Michael Slepian is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia Business School. He previously was a visiting scholar at Stanford University, and received his Ph.D. from Tufts University. He is an elected fellow of the Society of Experimental Social Psychology, has received the Rising Star Award from the Association for Psychological Science, and received the National Science Foundation Graduate Research Fellowship.Michael studies the psychology of secrets and how keeping secrets affect variables that govern social and organizational life. For more information see his research and publications.
Related Episodes:
Episode 83. Courageous Conversations to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower
Episode 118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth
Episode 184. Getting Past Affairs and Other Relationship Betrayals with Kristina Coop Gordon
We'd love your help creating a better podcast listening experience by hearing more about you. Consider taking a few minutes to fill out our brief listener survey here.
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| 364. The Brain-Gut Connection with Megan Riehl | 17 Jul 2024 | 01:05:20 | |
If you want the best guidance for your GI issues without exclusive access to a top-tier medical team, join us in this episode with Megan Riehl, co-author of Mind Your Gut: The Science-Based Whole-body Guide to Living Well. You’ll discover how this book brings science-based strategies, and exercises straight to your home, offering tools rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy to manage GI symptoms effectively. Learn about accessible resources and the profound impact of a multidisciplinary team on your health. Tune in to unlock these valuable insights and improve your well-being!
Listen and learn:
The expansive scope of the gastrointestinal (GI) system and the spectrum of GI conditions
Why the gut is often called the second brain, and how its powerful connection with the brain influences our health in surprising ways
How stress and anxiety fuel GI symptoms and create a cycle of worsening health
The "Dream Team" of GI care
Treating GI with cognitive reframing and decreasing behavioral avoidance
Is clinical hypnotherapy effective for treating IBS and how does it work?
How a "gentle diet cleanup" can transform gut health—before you dive into restrictive diets
The risks of gut pseudoscience on your gut health
How the gut microbiome could revolutionize precision medicine
Resources:
https://www.drriehl.com/
Mind Your Gut: The ScienceBased, Whole-body Guide to Living Well
https://www.instagram.com/mindyourgutofficial
https://x.com/DrRiehl
The Gut Health Podcast Kate Scarlata and Megan Riehl
Nerva: IBS & Gut Hypnotherapy
https://opbmed.com/
About Megan Riehl
Dr. Megan Riehl is a clinical health psychologist, an Associate Professor of Medicine and Director of GI Behavioral Health at the University of Michigan. Her research and passion for education have resulted in numerous peer-reviewed publications, leadership roles, and lectures. This year, together with digestive health expert Kate Scarlata, they co-authored Mind Your Gut: The Science-based, Whole-body Guide to Living Well with IBS and launched The Gut Health Podcast.
Related Episodes:
222. Living With Food Allergies with Tamara Hubbard
260. Health Anxiety with Karen Lynn Cassiday
30. Nutritional Psychology (Part 2) – Eating for Brain Health with the MIND Diet with Diana and Debbie
29. Nutritional Psychology (Part 1) – How food impacts mood, cognition and brain health with Diana and Debbie
39. Chronic Pain with Adrianne Sloan
170. A Gift For You. Soothing Rhythm Breathing (re-release)
177. Mind-Body Practices for Stress and Overwhelm with Rebekkah LaDyne
334. Our Polyvagal World with Stephen & Seth Porges
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| 260. Health Anxiety with Karen Lynn Cassiday | 20 Jul 2022 | 01:09:08 | |
It’s not uncommon to have some anxiety about your and others’ health. However, health anxiety, at its worst, can become an overwhelming, life-consuming experience that keeps you from thriving. Millions of people experience health anxiety, and the pandemic has certainly contributed to the recent rise in numbers of people who experience this. Dr. Karen Cassiday, author of Freedom from Health Anxiety, is nationally recognized as an expert clinical psychologist in the diagnosis and treatment of anxiety disorders in children, teens, and adults. In this episode of POTC, Karen and Debbie discuss the common experience of health anxiety, and Karen’s evidence-based methods for approaching it. Join us in this empowering episode for distinctions between normal and problematic health anxiety, practical advice for dealing with catastrophic thinking patterns, and much more, today!
Listen and Learn:
Debbie and Yael’s thoughts on the pervasive experience of health anxiety
Dr. Cassiday’s expert opinion on the rise of health anxiety in the general public
Practical distinctions for when health anxiety is normal vs. when it’s problematic
Important differences between orthorexia and health anxiety
Practical advice for dealing with catastrophic thinking patterns about your health
An expert breakdown of the reassurance seeking cycle
The importance of function in your health-related behaviors
Evidence-based strategies for practitioners and patients dealing with health-anxiety
How Dr. Cassiday uses Exposure and Response Prevention in her work
The common experience of health anxiety, and new, evidence-based methods for approaching it
Resources:
Grab your copy of Karen’s book, Freedom from Health Anxiety: Understand and Overcome Obsessive Worry about Your Health or Someone Else's and Find Peace of Mind
Check out Yael and Barry Schwartz’s article on Radical Uncertainty
Read Barry Schwartz's Practical Wisdom: The Right Way to Do the Right Thing
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Dr. Karen Lynn Cassiday:
Dr. Karen Cassiday is an author and nationally recognized as an expert clinical psychologist in the diagnosis and treatment of anxiety disorders in children, teens and adults. She empowers patients to overcome their struggles with anxiety, compulsions, phobias, social anxiety, worry, and depression. She approaches each patient with enthusiasm, persistence, and a keen sense of humor, crafting individualized, research-based treatment plans for each person. Her goal is to make each patient an expert at managing their own anxiety, so that they can face any future event with confidence and courage. A sought after national speaker on television, radio and at professional training seminars, Dr. Cassiday has appeared as a psychological consultant on Animal Hoarders on TNT and on NBC’s Today Show. Her expertise has been tapped through commentary in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and numerous other publications. Make sure to check out Karen’s book, Freedom from Health Anxiety: Understand and Overcome Obsessive Worry about Your Health or Someone Else's and Find Peace of Mind.
Related Episodes:
Episode 138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser
Episode 164. Pandemic Stress: Strategies from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Debbie and Diana
Episode 244. What You Feel Is Not All There Is with Aprilia West
Episode 103. Healthy Habits with Dayna Lee-Baggley
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| 259. Rethinking Delusions with Victoria Sheperd | 13 Jul 2022 | 01:07:28 | |
Delusional beliefs have a long and varied history, with false beliefs ranging from those as minor as imposter syndrome to those as significant as thinking we are dead or decapitated. Victoria Shepherd, author of A History of Delusions, has dedicated her career to exploring the history of fixed false beliefs and the context in which false beliefs can develop. On this episode of POTC, she and Yael discuss the importance of understanding the function of delusions within social context. Join us in this episode for practical advice on caring for loved ones who experience delusions, evidence-based methods of being compassionate towards yourself and others when dealing with delusional beliefs, and much, much more, today!
Listen and Learn:
Yael and Jill’s take on delusional thinking and fixed false beliefs
The importance of understanding the functionality of delusions within a context
Practical advice for caring for loved ones who experience delusions
Common delusions we all frequently experience
Three ways delusions might be helpful for distressed individuals
Expert-approved strategies for becoming more aware of your own delusional thinking and managing overwhelm and uncertainty
How the human desire for agency over a situation plays into delusional thinking
Some of the experiences of the intriguing characters in Victoria’s book!
Perceptions of individuals in power that influence widely held beliefs
How biological causes contribute to delusions
Evidence-based methods of being compassionate towards yourself and others when dealing with delusional beliefs
Resources:
Grab your copy of Victoria’s book, A History of Delusions: The Glass King, a Substitute Husband, and a Walking Corpse!
Learn more about Charles The Mad
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Victoria Shepherd:
Victoria Shepherd, a born and bred south Londoner, has an M.A. from the University of East Anglia in creative writing. She’s an experienced audio producer for BBC Radio making documentaries and podcasts, and her short film documentary, 2 Princelet Street, was selected by the National Film School Docs program. Many of her documentaries can be found on BBC Sounds, and recent highlights include: ‘A History of Delusions’, presented by Professor Daniel Freeman (co-produced by Eve Streeter), ‘The Glass Delusion’, presented by Adam Phillips; ‘A History of the Future’, and ‘Experiments in Living’ presented by Juliet Gardiner; ‘This Old Heart of Mine’ presented by Giles Fraser, ‘A Natural History of the Banker’ presented by Andrew Ross Sorkin, ‘The Periodic Table’ presented by Chris Addison; ‘Headstrong and Proud’ presented by Michael Crick, ‘The Wizard of Oz’, presented by Salman Rushdie. Learn more about her work here, and buy her book A History of Delusions: The Glass King, a Substitute Husband, and a Walking Corpse now.
Related Episodes:
Episode 235. The Urge: The Shaping of Addiction & Mental Health with Carl Erik Fisher
Episode 251. Wonder with Frank Keil
Episode 118. Moral Injury and Shame with Lauren Borges and Jacob Farnsworth
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| 258. How to Have a Kid and a Life with Erika Souter | 06 Jul 2022 | 01:11:15 | |
Women and gender-expansive individuals are often expected to take on the largest portion of emotional labor, home-making, and parenting work. This and a myriad of other unrealistic expectations contribute to #secretparenting and the “motherhood penalty,” leaving women and gender-expansive individuals to suffer and fall behind their white, cis-gender, male counterparts. Ericka Sóuter is a nationally recognized voice in parenting news and parenting advice. On this episode of POTC, she and Jill discuss the challenges mothers often face in their parenting journey and provide practical, realistic advice for facing those challenges. Join us in this episode to learn the research behind caring for yourself first, how to use mom-judgment for good and not evil, statistics behind #secretparenting, and much more today!
Listen and Learn:
Jill and Yael’s experiences with the challenging elements of parenting
How Ericka came upon the title of her book
The unmet or unrealistic expectations about parenthood
The evidence-based place to start improving your experience with parenthood and overwhelm
What the research says about caring for your own well-being before that of your child’s
Practical advice for building a community of “the right mom friends” during even the busiest, most hectic of times
Expert-approved advice for using mom-judgment for good and not evil
The disturbing statistics behind #secretparenting and practical advice for how to engage with the “motherhood penalty”
Why the frequency of sex may decrease during and after pregnancy and how to ensure it rebounds down the road
Resources:
Grab your copy of Ericka’s book, How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide!
Check out Ericka’s articles!
Learn more about #secretparenting
The C-Suite: 70% of top male earners in the US have a spouse who stays home
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About:
Ericka Sóuter is a nationally recognized voice in parenting news and parenting advice. She has over 20 years of journalism experience and is a frequent contributor on Good Morning America and other national broadcast outlets, where it’s her job to speak to parents across the country about the issues, controversies, and trends most affecting families today. Her new book is How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide. Ericka’s work appears on the Bump, What to Expect, CafeMom, and Mom.com, all high-traffic parenting sites that reach millions of moms each month. Her writing has also been featured in People magazine, Us Weekly, Essence, Cosmopolitan, Self and WebMD. She received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University and master’s degree from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism.
Related Episodes:
Episode 87. Cribsheet with Emily Oster
Episode 247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky
Episode 185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith
Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster
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| 257. The Gift of Being Ordinary with Ron Siegel | 29 Jun 2022 | 01:16:41 | |
Human beings are evolutionarily hard-wired to compete with one another, and this drive to compete encourages us to compare our standing to that of our fellows and despair when we don’t match up. This “compare and despair” mindset can lead to unworkable or harmful cycles of behavior that leave us feeling worse-than-ordinary. Ron Siegel, author of The Extraordinary Gift of being Ordinary, is faculty at Harvard Medical School and teaches internationally about mind-body medicine and the application of mindfulness and compassion practices in psychotherapy and other fields. On this episode of POTC, Ron talks with Yael about why being ordinary is actually an extraordinary gift! Join us to learn about addiction to self-esteem, what genetic analysis says about social comparison and organization, scientifically-backed practices for embracing and savoring your ordinariness, and more, today!
Listen and Learn:
Yael and Debbie’s thoughts on the connection between being ordinary and belonging
The inescapable cycle of comparing and despairing
The evolutionary roots of our desire to be extraordinary
What genetic analysis has to tell us about social comparison and organization
Evidence-based strategies for responding to natural urges and impulses when they’re not workable
Practical advice for reorienting towards value-aligned actions after you’ve unhooked from addiction to self-esteem
Ron’s favorite practices for embracing and savoring your ordinariness
The importance of embracing impermanence (including your own mortality)
Resources:
Snag your DISCOUNTED copy of Ron’s book, The Extraordinary Gift of being Ordinary. Enter code DFSL2 when item is in shopping cart. Code will be valid through 9/30/22.
Then, come chat with Ron at our book club meeting August 11th at 12pm EST (US)! To join the book club, email us at offtheclockpsych@gmail.com with "book club" in the subject line
Learn more about the differences between Bonobos and Chimpanzees!.
Read the Cherokee Legend of the Two Wolves
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Ron Siegel:
Dr. Ron Siegel is an Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, where he’s taught for over 35 years. A long-time student of mindfulness meditation, he serves on the Board of Directors and faculty of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy and the faculties of the Center for Mindfulness and Compassion at the Cambridge Health Alliance and the University of Massachusetts Medical School. He teaches internationally about mind-body medicine and the application of mindfulness and compassion practices in psychotherapy and other fields. He currently maintains a limited private clinical practice in Lincoln, Massachusetts. He has edited and written several books including the critically acclaimed professional text, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition, The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems, Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy, Wisdom and Compassion in Psychotherapy, Back Sense, and his most recent book, The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary: Finding Happiness Right Where You Are!
Related Episodes:
Episode 161. The Gift of Failure with Jessica Lahey
Episode 199. Belonging From the Inside Out with Meg McKelvie
Episode 226. ACT for Perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp
Episode 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer
Episode 254. Cultivating Compassion for a Lasting Connection with Michaela Thomas
Episode 256. Social Justice Parenting with Traci Baxley
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| 256. Social Justice Parenting with Traci Baxley | 22 Jun 2022 | 01:10:42 | |
Social justice involves action. In our society which has historically privileged whiteness, many racist and other prejudicial ideas are widely accepted as the standard and are pervasively practiced as the norm. Because of this, allies must engage in anti-racism and take action against racist behaviors. One form of action involves parenting practices. Traci Baxley, author of Social Justice Parenting, is an expert in child development, elementary education, curriculum and instruction, diversity and inclusion, anti-bias curriculum, and social justice education. On this episode of POTC, Debbie and Traci come together to discuss the importance of Social Justice Parenting Practices. Join us in this episode to learn expert-approved strategies for accepting your child for who they are, practical advice for moving from being a “good person” to being an advocate for historically excluded communities, the main qualities of a pro-justice home, and so much more!
Listen and Learn:
Jill and Debbie’s experiences implementing Social Justice Parenting practices
The personal story behind Traci’s work
Traci’s experience with “The Talk” that black families must have with their children in the U.S.
Belonging as a universal, fundamental motivation
Expert-approved strategies for accepting your children for who they are
Traci’s expert definition of Social Justice Parenting
Why parents struggle to implement Social Justice Parenting practices (and how to overcome those struggles!)
The importance of Social Justice Parenting practices
Practical advice for moving from being a “good person” to being an advocate for historically excluded communities
The main qualities of a pro justice home
How to start conversations about hard topics with your kids (no matter their age!)
Expert-approved strategies for responding to difficult, scary questions from your kids and bringing others into the conversation of social justice
Resources
Check out Traci’s book, Social Justice Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids
Take Traci’s online courses for white mothers who want to be allies to the Black community and raise antiracist children (who will be change agents in the world) and for parents who want to implement Social Justice Parenting practices in their family’s daily lives
Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.
Check out Debbie, Diana, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Dr. Traci Baxley:
Dr. Traci Baxley is a Associate Professor of education at Florida Atlantic University, consultant, parenting coach, and speaker. An educator for over 30 years with degrees in child development, elementary education, and curriculum and instruction. She specializes in diversity and inclusion, anti-bias curriculum, and social justice education. She teaches two online courses for white mothers who want to be allies to the Black community and raise antiracist children (who will be change agents in the world) and for parents who want to implement Social Justice Parenting practices in their family’s daily lives. Make sure to grab your copy of her book, Social Justice Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids.
Related Episodes:
Episode 96. Effective Conversations About Diversity with Anatasia Kim and Alicia del Prado
Episode 91. Disability as a Form of Diversity with Erin Andrews
Episode 185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith
Episode 162. APA Guidelines on Race and Ethnicity in Psychology with Karen Suyemoto
Special Bonus Episode: Mending Racial Trauma with Carynne Williams and Jennifer Shepard Payne
Episode 19. Keeping Children Safe from Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower
Episode 83. Courageous Conversations to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower
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| 255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance | 15 Jun 2022 | 01:06:20 | |
Influence is power, but it’s a power not reserved just for the few. In fact, each of us has the power to impact those around us. Because of this, it’s incredibly important that we meaningfully hold and use that power for good! Dr. Zoe Chance, author of INFLUENCE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER, is a writer, teacher, researcher, and climate philanthropist obsessed with the topic of interpersonal influence. On this episode of POTC, Zoe and Yael discuss how to use your personal values to change the world for the better. Join us in this episode to learn important differences between influence and manipulation, strategies for influencing your child, practical advice for navigating negotiations with difficult people, and more!
Listen and Learn:
How Yael and Jill use their values to change the world for the better
Zoe’s expert definition of influence
Important differences between influence and manipulation
Expert-approved tips and tricks for those afraid to exert their influence
What parents, CEOs, central bankers, and princess have in common
The secrets to influencing your child
Why compromising can be an optimal outcome
Practical advice for negotiating with even the most difficult or powerful of people
Evidence-based strategies for listening to someone you disagree with (even when the disagreement makes you want to turn inward)
Zoe walks us through her Empathy Challenge
Resources:
Grab your copy of Zoe’s book, INFLUENCE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER!
Read Adam Grant’s Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know
Learn about False Polarization Bias
Learn more about Naomi Eisenber’s research on social rejection and pain
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Zoe Chance:
Dr. Zoe Chance is a writer, teacher, researcher, and climate philanthropist obsessed with the topic of interpersonal influence. She earned her doctorate from Harvard and now teaches the most popular course at Yale School of Management, which is the basis for her international bestseller, INFLUENCE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER. Her framework for behavior change is the foundation for Google’s global food policy, and before academia, she managed a $200 million segment of the Barbie brand at Mattel. Today, Zoe teaches smart, kind people to raise money for charity, get elected to political office, fund startups, start movements, save lives, find love, negotiate great deals and job offers, and even get along better with their kids. In other words, she helps people to use their superpower of influence as a force for good.
Related Episodes:
Episode 51. The Psychology of Political Division with Yael and Debbie
Episode 197. Influence and Adventure with Jon Levy
Episode 196. The Neuroscience of Marketing with Matt Johnson and Prince Ghuman
Episode 180. Choosing to Live Your Values with Benji Schoendorff
Episode 234. The Power of Us with Dominic Packer
Episode 252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us
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| 254. Cultivating Compassion for a Lasting Connection with Michaela Thomas | 08 Jun 2022 | 01:04:39 | |
It’s incredibly easy (and completely normal) to become caught in the heat of the moment and lash out when arguing with our partners. However, it’s not always the most functional behavior, and it almost never aligns with our values. Michaela Thomas, author of The Lasting Connection, is a clinical psychologist who has centered her career around helping women develop love and compassion for themselves and their partners. On this episode of POTC, Jill and Michaela discuss the key elements to building lasting connections and provide evidence-based strategies for incorporating them into your relationships. Listen in to this episode to discover the top reasons modern couples disconnect, engage in a real-time compassion-flow practice, learn strategies for identifying your relationship values, and much more today!
Listen and Learn:
Jill and Yael’s thoughts on incorporating ACT, CFT, Behavioral Therapy for couples
The three elements that help build lasting connections
Expert-approved strategies for identifying when you’re too “hot” or “cold” in your relationship (and practical advice for turning that flame up or down!)
Three critical directions your compassion should be flowing in order to build a lasting, loving connection
Jill and Michaela engage in a real-time exercise for allowing compassion to flow in from others
Evidence-based strategies for moving from high conflict into compassion
Dr. Thomas provides the top reasons modern couples disconnect
Tips and tricks for identifying your relationship values as a couple
Resources:
Grab your copy of Michaela’s book, The Lasting Connection!
Listen to Michaela’s podcast, Pause Purpose Play.
Take Michaela’s online course, The Compassionate Couple
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Michaela Thomas:
Michaela Thomas is a Clinical Psychologist, couples therapist and founder of the private practice The Thomas Connection. Michaela specialises in perfectionism, helping high-striving women let go of the pressure of perfection, to find the balance to burn bright, not burn out. She has authored the book The Lasting Connection - develop love and compassion for yourself and your partner. Michaela can be found on her Pause Purpose Play podcast and on Instagram under @the_thomas_connection. Her online course The Compassionate Couple has been described as 'life changing'.
Related episodes:
Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster
Episode 206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky
Episode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen
Episode 247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky
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| 253. Free Range Kids with Lenore Skenazy | 01 Jun 2022 | 01:06:55 | |
The pressure to be the perfect parent and create the perfect environment for your kids to grow feels pervasive for many modern parents. Because of this, many caregivers have had the thought that they are the world’s worst parent. However, that title belongs to Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow and founder of the Free-Range Kids movement (and book), who was once nationally dubbed "America's Worst Mom". On this episode of POTC, Yael and Lenore discuss the data behind how trusting your kids more and giving them more independence allows them to better grow into capable, confident, and happy adults. Join us in this advice-packed episode to learn about what’s actually risky for your kids, strategies for trusting your parenting skills more, methods for unhooking from perfect-parenting-pressure, and much more, today!
Listen and Learn:
Yael and Jill’s experiences with stigma and conforming to social norms when it comes to raising their kids
Important social and personal changes for Lenore since the release of the first edition of Free-Range Kids
Practical advice for the parents worried about their children’s safety in social contexts
Lenore defines the “worst first thing” and provides expert advice on how to respond to that tendency
Evidence-based and time-proven strategies for shifting your perspective around what’s actually risky for your kids
How to begin trusting your parenting instincts and thriving in your role as a parent
Expert-approved tips and tricks for incorporating more approach and less avoidance behavior in your parenting repertoire
The data that supports the free-range kids movement and having faith in your own parenting skill sets
Lenore’s expert advice on unhooking from pressure around being the perfect parent and relating to your kids as people
Resources:
Read Lenore’s book, Free-Range Kids and check out the Free-Range Kids movement as well!
Get involved in Lenore’s non-profit, Let Grow, and check out the FREE resources at the Let Grow Play Club!
Check out Jonathan Haidt’s work, The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure and The Fragile Generation
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
For a hilarious view of free range partnering, check out this SNL clip
About Lenore Skenazy:
Lenore Skenazy, graduate of Yale University and Columbia University and formerly named "America's Worst Mom", is president of Let Grow, a non-profit promoting childhood independence and resilience, and founder of the Free-Range Kids movement (and book!). She is also a speaker, blogger, syndicated columnist, author, and reality show host. A former newspaper reporter, she lives in New York City with her husband. Their sons have flown the coop, which is good for “proof of concept” purposes, but she misses them. Check out her book, Free Range Kids and all the FREE resources available at letgrow.org.
Related Episodes:
Episode 94. Parenthood in the Age of Fear with Kim Brooks
Episode 143. Happier Parenting KJ Dell’Antonia
Episode 161. The Gift of Failure with Jessica Lahey
Episode 194. How to Be (and raise) an Adult with Julie Lythcott-Haims
Episode 205. Thrivers with Michele Borba
Episode 211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz
Episode 213. Back To School! How To Talk With Kids To Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance and A Happy Home with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson
Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner Moyer
Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster
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| 252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us | 25 May 2022 | 00:52:54 | |
Asking for help can put us in a vulnerable space. For some, asking for help feels like an admission of failure or weakness. However, many (including the POTC crew) would argue that asking for help demonstrates incredible strength, intelligence, and bravery. On this episode of POTC, our co-hosts, Jill, Yael, and Debbie, gather to discuss the importance of asking for help. They provide clinician-approved methods for identifying appropriate help, asking for help, and overcoming common barriers to asking for help. Listen in to this help-filled episode, today!
Listen and Learn:
Why our co-hosts are drawn to the topic of asking for help
Barriers to asking for help when you need it most
Practical strategies to reframe shame and guilt related to asking for help
Specific challenges related to seeking out professional help through therapy or coaching
When to seek professional help vs. emotional support from your loved ones
Important differences between therapy and friendship
Clinician-approved methods for finding a therapist who’s a good fit for you and your needs
Cultural challenges to finding a therapist and starting treatment
Expert-approved ways to build out a reciprocal “helping network” with people you feel comfortable with
Resources:
Read Yael and Brad Stulberg’s Washington Post piece, Therapist or coach: Understanding the difference and how to pick one
Read Debbie’s Psyche article, How to ask for help
Check out Flynn and Lake’s research on asking for help
Read Zoe Chance’s Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen
Check out Dr. Jessi Gold’s article, Your Therapist Is Not Your Friend, Take It from a Psychiatrist
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
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| 251. Wonder with Frank Keil | 18 May 2022 | 01:02:19 | |
Richard Dawkins has been quoted as saying, “The feeling of awed wonder that science can give us is one of the highest experiences of which the human psyche is capable.” Many agree with him and have referred to wonder as the beginning of wisdom, the seed of science, and the basis of men’s desire to understand. When we are little, most of us are filled with wonder and experience it often. However, we tend to lose our sense of wonder as we age into adults. On today’s episode of POTC, Dr. Frank Keil, author of Wonder, talks with Jill about why it’s so important to encourage a sense of wonder in younger generations and reconnect with our own sense of wonder as well. Join us in this episode to break cycles of over-imitation, learn about important research on wonder and well-being, engage in deeper, more interesting conversations, and so much more, today!
Listen and Learn:
Jill and Yael discuss the difference between wonder and curiosity
Frank expertly defines wonder and provides some insight as to its history
The research-backed reasons why we lose our natural sense of wonder over time
Practical, evidence-based advice on fostering the continuance of wonder for your little ones
Negative consequences of losing your sense of wonder
The positive outcomes related to wondering with others
Over-imitating - what it is, how it works, and why we continue to do it
How wonder lends itself to compassion and understanding
Frank’s favorite findings from his research on wonder
Expert-approved strategies on reconnecting with your sense of wonder as an adult
Resources:
Read Frank’s books, Developmental Psychology: The Growth of Mind and Behavior and Wonder: Childhood and the Lifelong Love of Science!
Check out Chris Ferrie’s book, Quantum Physics for Babies
Read Richard Dawkins’ book, Unweaving the Rainbow: Science, Delusion and the Appetite for Wonder
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About
Frank C. Keil is the Dilley Professor of Psychology, Linguistics, and Cognitive Science at Yale University. Much of his research involves asking how intuitive explanations and understandings emerge in development and how they function in adults. These topics are linked to broader questions of what concepts and explanations are, how they change with increasing expertise, how people understand the limits to their own knowledge and how they navigate the division of cognitive labor. Dr. Keil received a Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania , a M.A. in Psychology from Stanford University, and a B.S. in Biology from MIT. He is the author of hundreds of articles and several books including Developmental Psychology: The Growth of Mind and Behavior, and most recently, Wonder: Childhood and the Lifelong Love of Science.
Related Episodes:
Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner Moyer
Episode 204. Ageless with Andrew Steele
Episode 207. Burnout with Debbie and Jill
Episode 125. Why We Age and the Science of Longevity with David Sinclair
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| 363. Worrying Is Optional with Ben Eckstein | 10 Jul 2024 | 01:04:16 | |
If worry is your constant companion, take heart—you're in good company. Let's clear something up: worrying is as human as breathing. Everyone does it, and sometimes it even helps. But when worry transforms into a monster that steals your sleep, scrambles your thoughts, and holds your decisions hostage, that's when we’ve got a problem. If this sounds familiar, you’ll want to hear this conversation with Ben Eckstein where we unpack his book, Worrying Is Optional: Break the Cycle of Anxiety and Rumination That Keeps You Stuck. Tune in to learn how to navigate the cycle of worry and find a balanced approach to life's uncertainties.
Listen and Learn:
The fundamental distinction between "worry" and "worrying"
How did worrying become part of our human operating system, and when does it stop being helpful?
Why don't our brains dismiss anxiety and focus solely on problem-solving, instead of reinforcing fear patterns?
How to master the skills to coexist with anxiety and thrive despite it
Unexpected insights from "Legend of Zelda" to explain the nuanced approach needed to treat anxiety
The importance of having compassion for the future version of you
Resources:
Worrying Is Optional: Break the Cycle of Anxiety and Rumination That Keeps You Stuck
Website: www.bullcityanxiety.com
Instagram: @bullcityanxiety
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bullcityanxiety
About Ben Eckstein
Ben Eckstein, LCSW is a therapist specializing in the treatment of OCD, Anxiety, and OC-Related Disorders. Ben honed his specialty in OCD while working at McLean Hospital's OCD Institute in Boston. He's now the owner and director of Bull City Anxiety & OCD Treatment Center in Durham, North Carolina. Ben is the vice president of OCD North Carolina, the NC state affiliate of the International OCD Foundation. In addition to his clinical work, Ben is a speaker, trainer, and author. His first book, Worrying is Optional: Break the Cycle of Anxiety and Rumination That Keeps You Stuck, was published in 2023.
Related Episodes
313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson
250. Anxiety and Perfectionism with Clarissa Ong
212. Stuff That’s Loud: OCD and Anxiety with Lisa Coyne and Ben Sedley
188. Unwinding Anxiety with Judson Brewer
121. Be Mighty: An Episode for Stressed Out, Worried Women with Jill Stoddard
77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard
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| 250. Anxiety and Perfectionism with Clarissa Ong | 12 May 2022 | 01:01:03 | |
Many of us make use of control agendas and get caught up in managing our experiences to be exactly the way we want them. Sometimes this is a good, rewarding type of behavior, but more often than not, perfectionistic behavior can leave you feeling stuck in a cycle of failure. Dr. Clarissa Ong, author of The Anxious Perfectionist, is an expert in the intersection of anxiety and perfectionism. On this episode of POTC, she and Debbie discuss this intersection and explore practical strategies for overcoming problematic, perfectionistic tendencies. Join us in this episode for advice on moving from rigidity into flexibility, practical strategies for distinguishing between helpful and harmful perfectionism, and so much more!
Listen and Learn:
Debbie and Jill discuss the double-edged sword of perfectionism
Dr. Ong’s personal experiences with perfectionism
Practical strategies for distinguishing between helpful and harmful perfectionism
The different forms of perfectionism and how they may present themselves
The intersection between anxiety and perfectionism
Contexts that can nurture or contribute to a person’s perfectionistic tendencies
Evidence-based advice for parents who don’t want to water the seeds of perfectionism in their children
How perfectionism can be like playing a game
What you lose when you’re trapped by perfectionism
Expert-approved advice on moving from rigidity into flexibility around perfectionism (and on helping your friends and loved ones do so as well!)
Practical advice for incorporating a little self-kindness into behaviors governed by perfectionism
Resources:
Read Clarissa’s book, The Anxious Perfectionist!
Follow her on Twitter, @ongclarissaw!
Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!
About Clarissa Ong:
Clarissa W. Ong, PhD, is a postdoctoral associate at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University. She received her doctoral degree in clinical/counseling psychology from Utah State University, and completed her clinical internship at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School. Her research interests include acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), process-based therapy, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), hoarding disorder, and perfectionism. She has contributed to more than sixty peer-reviewed publications and a book. She has also received funding from the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS). She and Dr. Michael Twohig recently published a self-help book on perfectionism, The Anxious Perfectionist.
Related Episodes:
Episode 226. ACT for Perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp
Episode 88. Perfectionism with Sharon Martin
Episode 172. Performing Under Pressure with Sian Beilock
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| 249. How to Be Single & Happy with Jenny Taitz | 04 May 2022 | 01:15:59 | |
In the past decade, online dating has become a multi-billion dollar industry with three in ten adults in the United States claiming to have ever used a dating app. But despite all this dating, experiences of loneliness are on the rise, and three out of five U.S. adults report lacking companionship or feeling left out or poorly understood. Dr. Jenny Taitz, author of How to be Single and Happy, is passionate about helping others live meaningful, value-based lives, regardless of their relationship status. On this episode of POTC, she and Yael discuss the central challenges faced by unhappily single people and evidence-based methods for overcoming them. Join us today for practical advice related to dealing with big emotions in dating, creating long-lasting relationships, dating throughout the life-span, and finding happiness no matter your relationship status! Listen and learn: Katy and Yael discuss living meaningfully even when dating and relationships feel imperfect Practical advice for those who are in an unhappy partnership or those who struggle with dating and finding a partner (regardless of your age, gender, or experiences!) Dr. Taitz’s personal experience of being unhappily single and her journey to write her book Taitz’s expert opinion on if you can be single (not by choice) and happy Expert-approved strategies the unhappily single can use to thrive Three central challenges faced by the unhappily single and evidence-based practices you can use to unhook yourself from themPractical strategies for helping those who feel shame and regret about dating experiences Dr. Taitz’s words of wisdom for staying hopeful when you’ve been on the dating scene for a long time Problematic emotions that can arise with dating struggles and how to respond to them Specific, expert-approved advice for dating when you want to have a child The problem of loneliness and how to manage it Dr. Taitz’s thoughts on dating apps, meeting people, and starting conversationsPractical advice on creating long lasting relationships How to live well, regardless of your relationship status Resources: Read Dr. Jenny’s books, End Emotional Eating and How to be Single and Happy!Check out Dr. Jenny’s website, and while you’re there, take advantage of her resources! Find Jenny's New York Times pieces here, here, and hereRead Daniel Pink’s book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.Read Matt Haig’s book, The Midnight Library.Read Chris Wilson’s book, The Master Plan: My Journey from Life in Prison to a Life of Purpose. Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Jenny Taitz: Dr. Jenny Taitz, is board certified in cognitive behavioral therapy by the American Board of Professional Psychology and a Diplomate in the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. Dr. Taitz is one of the first psychologists to merit Linehan Board Certification in DBT. She is the founder of LA CBT DBT, a discrete, boutique, private therapy practice prioritizing compassionate, effective, and time-sensitive therapy. Dr. Taitz is grateful to offer secure telehealth appointments to clients residing in New York and California. In her work, she aims to coach her clients to achieve their life goals. Dr. Taitz practices the acceptance and values-based living she teaches and recently ran the LA Marathon (postpartum!) for suicide prevention. Additionally, Dr. Taitz serves as an Assistant Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at U.C.L.A. and her writing appears in numerous prominent publications including the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. Jenny is the author of End Emotional Eating: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Cope with Difficult Emotions and Deve... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 248. Let’s Talk About Sex & Intimacy with Zoë Kors | 27 Apr 2022 | 01:21:15 | |
It's hard to talk about intimacy and sex. Cultural norms around intimacy work their way into our minds when we’re young, causing us to have rigid (and often completely incorrect, unworkable, or dysfunctional) views about how we should express ourselves sexually. Zoë Kors, author of Radical Intimacy, is a sex and intimacy coach who is passionate about opening up this conversation to help people develop healthier sexuality and intimacy. On this episode of POTC, Yael and Zoë discuss the stigma and awkwardness we often feel around discussions about sex, Zoë’s Radical Intimacy model of sexual wellbeing, strategies for getting un-hooked from ideas about how you should be when it comes to sex and intimacy, and so much more. Join them for a conversation about sex and intimacy that can help you build towards greater fulfillment in your relationships! Listen and Learn: Yael and Debbie’s thoughts on our first episode on sex (and the stigma that prevented us from doing it earlier!)Expert-advice on how to start conversations with your partner or ask for help from a therapist or intimacy coach about sexZoë’s Radical Intimacy model of sexual wellbeingPractical advice for couples with mis-matched levels of comfort in different areas of intimacyImportant differences between desire and arousalZoë busts some common myths and misconceptions about intimacyAnswers to age-old questions about the importance of sex and interest in a relationshipEvidence-based advice on rekindling your sparkStrategies for getting un-hooked from ideas about how you should be when it comes to sex and intimacyThe role of power in intimacyHow to support vulnerable partners in feeling safe during intimate momentsEnergetic intimacy - what it is and why it’s so importantWhat it’s like for Zoë’s husband to live with a sex guru! Resources: Buy your copy of Zoë’s book, Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve!Read Zoë’s viral article, 6 Ways to Have Radically Intimate Sex.Listen to Zoë’s podcast, The Radical Intimacy Podcast!Learn more about Sensate Focus Therapy.Read Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages.Esther Perel’s advice for turning a spark into a flame. Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Zoë Kors: Zoë Kors holds a BA in Art History from University of Pennsylvania. Her post graduate work includes certification as a Co-Active Coach with the prestigious Co-Active Training Institute in San Rafael, CA, as well as dozens of programs and courses in sexuality and spirituality. She is the resident sex and intimacy coach and contributor at sexual wellness app Coral. Zoë is the former Senior Editor and Creative Director of LA Yoga Magazine and is a contributor to Elephant Journal, MindBodyGreen, Avocado Green Mattress and Fabletics blogs. In addition to a thriving private practice, Zoë offers her services through Center for Relational Healing, which specializes in the treatment of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. As a member of the CRH team, Zoë works with clients to reintroduce healthy sexuality and intimacy after the trauma of betrayal. Make sure to read her book, Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve! Related Episodes: Episode 32. Social Connection: Exploring Loneliness and Building Intimacy with Debbie and Diana Episode 61. Becoming Our Best Relationship Selves By Identifying Core Values And Schemas With Avigail LevEpisode 76. Gender and Sexual Minorities with Aisling Leonard-Curtin and Matthew SkintaEpisode 92. Marriage in Midlife: The Rough Patch with Daphne de MarneffeEpisode 179. How to Be An Adult in Relationships with Dave ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky | 21 Apr 2022 | 00:52:25 | |
In this psychology podcast, Jill interviews Eve Rodsky about carving out creative time separate from being in the roles of parent, partner, and professional Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 246. Burnout and Boundaries with Tammie Chang | 13 Apr 2022 | 01:09:00 | |
Physician Tammie Chang talks to us about burnout prevention and setting boundaries. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster | 06 Apr 2022 | 01:05:35 | |
Dr. Emily Oster, author of The Family Firm, Expecting Better and Cribsheet, has dedicated her career to discovering the hard, data-backed truths about parenting strategies. In this episode of POTC, she delivers some of those parenting truths to you. Emily then delights Yael by going beyond the world of data-driven parenting to discuss how to ask good questions in complicated parts of life (and how to answer them!). Emily also shares tools for gathering good information from the media—even if you aren't someone with a science background. Join the conversation as Yael and Emily discuss The Family Firm and making wise choices within very complicated life roles. Listen and Learn: Yael and Jill discuss strategies to approaching thorny parenting decisionsDifferences between parenting in early versus middle years of childhoodThe benefits to thinking about family, co-parenting, and marriage as a firmHow Emily’s family has applied this data to their personal lives (and her family’s mission statement!)Practical advice for staying engaged as a parent while maintaining a demanding careerThe importance of framing good questions and evidence-based strategies for doing soThe Family Firm approach to making decisions: The Four F’sWhat the data says about social pressure and extracurricularsConsideration of how scientists should be interacting with systems outside of science Emily’s personal experience with being outspoken about data with people who have strong feelings otherwiseHow those interested in evidence can interact with media in ways that are less biasedThe inside scoop on Emily’s data-driven newsletter Resources: Pick up your copy of Emily’s book, The Family Firm: A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years!Sign up for Emily’s newsletter, Parent Data.Check out this article on AlloparentingLearn about the Sunk Cost Fallacy. Read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Emily Oster: Emily Oster, PhD, is a Professor of Economics at Brown University and the author of Expecting Better, Cribsheet, and The Family Firm. She holds a PhD in Economics from Harvard. Prior to being at Brown she was on the faculty at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. Oster’s academic work focuses on health economics and statistical methods. She is interested in understanding why consumers do not always make “rational” health choices — why do people not eat a fully healthy diet, or pursue all recommended preventative health behaviors? Her work also concerns methods for learning causal effects from observational data. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her website for all the most recent updates on data related to pregnancy and parenting! Related Episodes: Episode 33. Couples with Young Children: Relationship Challenges and Strategies with Yael SchonbrunEpisode 86. Mom Brain with Ilyse Dobrow DiMarcoEpisode 87. Cribsheet with Emily OsterEpisode 143. Happier Parenting KJ Dell’AntoniaEpisode 149. How Not Lose It with Your Kids with Carla NaumburgEpisode 200. Growing Grit with Angela DuckworthEpisode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner MoyerEpisode 223. Mom Brain Returns with Ilyse Dobrow DiMarcoEpisode 235. The Urge: The Shaping of Addiction & Mental Health with Carl Erik Fisher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 244. What You Feel Is Not All There Is with Aprilia West | 30 Mar 2022 | 01:00:46 | |
Dr. Aprilia West shares how to respond to respond to emotions effectively and become boss-level choice maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 243. Motivation to Get it Done with Ayelet Fishbach | 23 Mar 2022 | 01:13:01 | |
Learn about the science of goal setting, building motivation, and how to get things done in this conversation with Dr. Ayelet Fishbach. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 242. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management with Oliver Burkeman | 16 Mar 2022 | 01:05:17 | |
Join this meaningful conversation with Oliver Burkeman about how to make the most of your time in the roughly 4,000 weeks you'll live! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 241. Emotion Coaching Skills for Families with Mindy Solomon (EFFT Part 2 of 2) | 09 Mar 2022 | 01:04:48 | |
We continue the conversation on Emotion-Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) with Dr. Mindy Solomon on Emotion Coaching Skills. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 362. Adult Bullies and High Conflict People with Bill Eddy | 03 Jul 2024 | 01:15:27 | |
Ever had to deal with someone who just seems impossible to reason with? You know, the kind of person who always blames others and seems to turn every minor disagreement into a conflict? If you've been there, you’ll want to check out this episode with Bill Eddy, Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute and an expert in understanding high-conflict personalities and dealing with adult bullies. We talk about the characteristics of high-conflict individuals, the psychological impact on their victims, and effective strategies from his book Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them -- How to Stop Them to navigate these relationships. Tune in and empower yourself with concrete tools and expert advice to diffuse high-conflict behavior effectively and change how you handle bullies in your life!
Listen and Learn:
Identifying the four main traits of high-conflict personalities
Do all individuals with personality disorders fit the high conflict profile?
How to identify if you have a relationship with someone with a high-conflict personality
The differences between adult bullies and child bullies
What is the primary motivation for bullying behavior?
The surprise attack tactic bullies often use and how you can be less vulnerable to them
What is a negative advocate, and how do people end up in that role?
Using the BIFF method in communication to avoid blame cycles and maintain constructive dialogue
Why you should never label the behavior of a high-conflict person or bully?
Combating bullying in political and online realms and why this demands societal action through education and setting boundaries
Resources:
highconflictinstitute.com
Connect with Bill @highconflictinstitute on socials:
https://www.linkedin.com/company/high-conflict-institute
https://twitter.com/highconflict?lang=en
https://www.instagram.com/highconflictinstitute/
It's All Your Fault! The High Conflict Institute Podcast
Psychology Today Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-people-who-can-ruin-your-life
Bill’s books:
Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them -- How to Stop Them
5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities
Biff: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
About Bill Eddy:
Bill Eddy is Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He trains lawyers, judges, mediators, and therapists throughout the United States and a dozen other countries in managing high-conflict family, workplace and legal disputes. He is the author of over 20 books and manuals and has a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com.
Related episodes:
98. Narcissism with Avigail Lev and Robyn Walser
308. Identifying and Surviving Gaslighting with Robin Stern
292. Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers with Stephanie Kriesberg
263. Relationships with Emotionally Immature People with Lindsay Gibson
186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab
298. Drama Free with Nedra Tawwab
276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson
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| 240. Talking to Kids and Teens with Big Feelings with Adele LaFrance (EFFT Part 1 of 2) | 02 Mar 2022 | 01:08:54 | |
Dr. Adele LaFrance shares skills from Emotion-Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) to help parents and caregivers handle big emotions effectively. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 239. Edit Your Story, Change Your Life with Lori Gottlieb | 24 Feb 2022 | 00:59:41 | |
An interview with best selling author, Lori Gottlieb, about how to edit our unhelpful narratives so we may grow in our relationships, lives, and well being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 238. Values During Times of Transition (with Us) | 17 Feb 2022 | 00:55:57 | |
Jill, Yael, and Debbie talk all about values! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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