Pleasure in the Pause: Midlife Conversations About Menopause, Sex & Pleasure – Details, episodes & analysis

Feeling stuck in the unsettling space between who you were and who you're becoming? If you're navigating midlife transitions—whether it's empty nest, perimenopause, aging parents, or shifting identity—this episode of Pleasure in the Pause offers a transformative perspective on living consciously through change.

Host Gabriela Espinosa sits down with Ann Tashi Slater to explore the Buddhist concept of "bardo"—the in-between state—as a powerful model for midlife transformation. If you've been resisting change, clinging to what was, or feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty, this conversation reveals how accepting impermanence can actually open the door to deeper peace, creativity, and joy. Discover practical daily practices for meeting life's transitions with awareness instead of resistance, and learn how to live fully awake in the great in-between of midlife.

Are you ready to awaken your sensuality and feel more empowered in your body? Access the FREE Pleasure Upgrade Bundle at https://www.pleasureinthepause.com/gift.

Ann Tashi Slater is the author of Traveling in Bardo: The Art of Living in an Impermanent World. She contributes to The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Paris Review, Oprah Daily, Guernica, Granta, and many others. Her speaking engagements include Princeton, Columbia, Oxford, the American University of Paris, and Asia Society. 

Highlights from our discussion include:

• Bardo as a midlife model: The Buddhist concept of bardo—the in-between state—perfectly describes midlife when we're no longer who we were but not yet who we're becoming.
• Acceptance unlocks action: True acceptance doesn't mean giving up—it allows meaningful action. We must acknowledge reality before we can move forward through any transition.
• Resistance causes suffering: It's not change itself that threatens us, but our resistance to it. Clinging to what was creates additional suffering on top of natural grief.
• Practice noticing transitions: Build comfort with impermanence by observing daily beginnings and endings—the start and end of each day, changing seasons, how you've evolved over time.

This week, notice one beginning and one ending in your day. Then ask yourself: If things could be exactly as I wanted, what would my life look like? Remember—wanting to be happy isn't selfish, it's human.

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

Are you struggling with anxiety, sleeplessness, and low libido in perimenopause—even after starting hormone therapy? You're doing everything right, but still feel wired, exhausted, and disconnected from pleasure. The missing piece might surprise you: it's your nervous system.

In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriela Espinosa reveals why balancing hormones alone isn't enough. Groundbreaking research from UC San Francisco shows that your nervous system is literally woven into your ovaries, directly influencing how you age, how you experience menopause symptoms, and how much pleasure you can access in your body. If you've felt like your body is betraying you in midlife, this conversation will change how you understand stress, hormones, and intimacy forever.

Are you ready to awaken your sensuality and feel more empowered in your body? Access the FREE Pleasure Upgrade Bundle at https://www.pleasureinthepause.com/gift.

Highlights from our discussion include:

• Your nervous system and hormones are in constant conversation. Declining estrogen makes your nervous system more reactive to stress, which is why you suddenly feel more anxious and on edge in perimenopause—it's biology, not "in your head."
• New research reveals your stress response is wired into your ovaries. Scientists at UC San Francisco discovered that sympathetic nerves (fight-or-flight) form dense networks in your ovaries and directly influence how they age. Chronic stress doesn't just affect your mood—it affects your ovarian health and longevity.
• Pleasure requires nervous system safety. When you're stuck in fight, flight, or freeze, your body can't access pleasure or intimacy. You need to feel safe in your body first before you can experience arousal, desire, and deep connection.
• You need both calm AND charge. The goal isn't to always be relaxed—you need sympathetic energy for desire and aliveness, and parasympathetic energy for rest and connection. True nervous system health is flexibility: moving fluidly between states.
• Simple practices make a profound difference. Grounding exercises like feeling your feet on the floor, humming to stimulate your vagus nerve, taking micro-pauses throughout the day, and naming your nervous system state can help you shift from survival mode to safety and pleasure.

Your nervous system isn't something to fix or control—it's something to befriend and partner with. It's your body's way of speaking to you, telling you when you need rest, movement, connection, or pleasure. This week, practice one simple tool: when you feel overwhelmed, pause and feel your feet on the ground. Notice the contact. Take three deep breaths. This small act tells your nervous system you're safe—and that's where healing and pleasure begin.

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

Disclaimer: The information shared in this episode is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause. 

Have you been on hormone therapy for months (or even years) but still feel terrible? If you're dealing with brain fog, 3 AM wake-ups, energy crashes, and that stubborn weight around your middle despite being on HRT, this conversation is exactly what you need to hear.

I sat down with Dr. Jila Senemar, and honestly, this interview changed how I think about hormone optimization. We talked about why so many women are being undertreated, why your doctor might not be checking your levels, and what truly optimal hormone therapy looks like.

Are you ready to awaken your sensuality and feel more empowered in your body? Access the FREE Pleasure Upgrade Bundle at https://www.pleasureinthepause.com/gift.

Dr. Jila Senemar, M.D., FACOG is a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist with over 20 years of experience who has become one of the leading voices in menopause optimization. She's the founder of JilaMD, a concierge practice in Miami specializing in personalized hormone therapy, metabolic optimization, and longevity science. Dr. Jila is also the founder of the Miami Menopause Collective, where she collaborates with women to create truly individualized treatment plans. What sets Dr. Jila apart is her commitment to helping women thrive—not just manage symptoms—in their second half of life through evidence-based, personalized care.

Highlights from our discussion include:

• The four pillars of HRT - estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and vaginal estrogen - and why each one matters
• What to do when HRT isn't working - Dr. Jila's detective process for troubleshooting failed hormone therapy
• The controversial truth about hormone levels - why so many women are actually undertreated and what optimal ranges really look like
• How to personalize and optimize your protocol as your body evolves through different life stages
• The metabolic connection - cutting-edge insights on how hormones and metabolism work together
• The holistic approach - why lifestyle factors and emotional healing are just as important as the hormones themselves
• How to advocate for better care and ask the right questions to get the optimization you deserve

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

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LINKS MENTIONED:

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Dr. Mary Claire Haver

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

This week, something extraordinary happened: menopause took center stage at the highest levels of US government in an unprecedented way. The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) convened leading experts from across the country to discuss what millions of women have been waiting to hear: their experiences matter, their suffering is real, and there may be evidence-based solutions that have been withheld. This historic hearing offers tremendous hope for women navigating menopause.

Are you ready to awaken your sensuality and feel more empowered in your body? Access the FREE Pleasure Upgrade Bundle at https://www.pleasureinthepause.com/gift.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The End of Silence: Menopause, once a shamed and dismissed topic, has finally entered serious public discourse, moving beyond quiet endurance to high-level recognition.
• A Personal Story Driving Change: The head of the FDA shared his personal story about his mother who suffered greatly due to outdated fears around hormone therapy, emphasizing that bone fractures in older women can be fatal.
• Dismantling Dogma: Experts revealed that vaginal estrogen is categorically safe for all women, with no systemic absorption, directly challenging the black box warning.
• Brain and Bone Health: Researchers presented alarming data on how estrogen decline impacts brain function and bone density, emphasizing that hormone therapy can be a critical prevention tool, not just a treatment for the elderly.

This hearing signals a critical shift: women's health matters, our experiences are valid, and we deserve care based on current science, not outdated assumptions. Whether or not you choose hormone therapy, there is now hope that you can make informed decisions based on facts.

Your voice matters in this conversation!

The FDA is opening a public comment period on this topic. Please go to the FDA YouTube channel, listen to the full hearing, and leave your public comment. This is our opportunity to ensure today's expert testimony translates into policy changes that will help millions of women.

Help us spread more pleasure in the world!

Please subscribe, rate, and review this episode, and share it with someone you love. Your voice is crucial in creating ripples of pleasure and connection throughout our communities.

Until we meet again, remember, your pleasure matters.

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

The conversation around menopause is finally being normalized, allowing us to openly discuss physical changes like hot flashes, brain fog, and sleepless nights. However, when it comes to our sexuality (describing shifts in desire, changes in intimacy, or articulating our sexual needs to partners) we often find ourselves speechless.

Reclaim your sensuality and step into a powerful new chapter. The Midlife Pleasure Collective is a monthly membership designed to help midlife women reconnect with their bodies, embrace their desires, and cultivate deeper pleasure.

Ever been awake at 3 AM, grappling with how to articulate bodily changes you don't fully grasp? Or frozen in a doctor's office when asked about your sexual health? We're never taught to discuss this fundamental aspect of our lives, costing us pleasure, well-being, and vitality.

This episode explores why midlife women must have open, clear conversations about sex. We'll delve into how menopause reshapes sexual health, examine cultural silence, and equip you with language and strategies to initiate vital discussions with partners, girlfriends, and yourself.

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

Despite living decades in our bodies, many of us remain disconnected from our sexual anatomy, trapped by societal shame and silence. But knowing your vulva isn't just about sexual pleasure—it's about health, vitality, and reclaiming your power as a woman in midlife. 

Access the FREE guided Vulva Love Meditation at https://www.pleasureinthepause.com/vulva

Today, I'm sharing an intimate workshop that will transform how you view your body. We'll explore comprehensive vulva anatomy, challenge myths about menopause and sexuality, and I'll guide you through a revolutionary approach to self-connection. 

This isn't just another conversation about sex—this is about understanding the incredible, sacred landscape of your own body. From debunking medical misconceptions to providing practical self-care strategies, this episode is your roadmap to embracing your sexual wellness. 

Whether you're experiencing perimenopause, menopause, or simply want to deepen your body awareness, you'll walk away with knowledge, tools, and most importantly, permission to prioritize your pleasure and well-being.

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

What if the very parts of yourself you've been hiding—the messy, the marvelous, the unspoken—are the ones that will set you free in midlife? We're often told to shrink, to quiet down, to accept invisibility, like it's a rite of passage. But what if this chapter is actually about expansion, revealing more of who we are, not less? Because let's be honest, midlife women are not a monolith. We're complex, multifaceted, full of rage and tenderness, reinvention and regret, humor and heartbreak. So many of those parts don't get revealed until we find the courage to tell our stories. That's when the magic happens. That's when we feel seen, heard, validated, and we realize we were never alone.

Reclaim your sensuality and step into a powerful new chapter. The Midlife Pleasure Collective is a monthly membership designed to help midlife women reconnect with their bodies, embrace their desires, and cultivate deeper pleasure.

Dina Aronson is a writer, editor, and pro-age advocate who is passionate about shining a light on midlife women and reframing the cultural conversation around aging. She began her career as an attorney, later founding a legal search consultancy, but pivoted as she approached midlife and couldn’t find relevant content that reflected her experience. She began freelancing for start-ups aimed at the forty and above woman, and founded the Patina blog, now a Substack newsletter called Patina with Dina Aronson, where she explores topics in and around aging through her midlife lens. 

Highlights from our discussion include:

• Midlife is not about shrinking or becoming invisible, but about expanding and revealing more of your authentic self.
• Midlife women are complex and multifaceted, defying simple stereotypes or categorization.
• Courage to share our stories is transformative, allowing us to be truly seen and understood.
• Our hidden or unspoken parts—including emotions like rage, tenderness, regret, and humor—are sources of power, not weakness.
• Sharing our experiences helps us realize we are not alone in our midlife journey, creating connection and validation

In midlife, our power lies not in conforming to societal expectations, but in embracing our full, messy, magnificent selves—and having the courage to share those stories that make us beautifully, unapologetically human.

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

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Midlife Private Parts

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

Navigating perimenopause and menopause can feel like uncharted territory for millennial women, but it doesn't have to be a journey of uncertainty and anxiety. Lauren, author of the upcoming book "Millennial Menopause," brings a fresh, compassionate perspective to a topic that has been shrouded in silence for far too long. Together, we explore how this generation can rewrite the narrative around menopause, embracing it not as an ending, but as an exciting new chapter of empowerment, self-discovery, and unapologetic personal growth.

Reclaim your sensuality and step into a powerful new chapter. The Midlife Pleasure Collective is a monthly membership designed to help midlife women reconnect with their bodies, embrace their desires, and cultivate deeper pleasure.

Lauren Tetenbaum, LCSW, JD, PMH-C ("The CounseLaur") is a social worker specializing in women’s mental health during life transitions, including the perinatal and perimenopausal stages. Through her counseling practice, Lauren provides therapy in NY, NJ, CT, and FL, facilitates groups and coaching workshops to empower postpartum and other women in corporate settings, and contributes to media on topics like maternal mental health, gender equity, and working parenthood. A mom of two, Lauren is also a former lawyer and a writer; her first book (Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life's Next Period) will be released in July 2025 and is now available for pre-order at https://thecounselaur.com/millennialmenopausebook/.

Highlights from our discussion include:

• Lauren's groundbreaking book aims to empower women by demystifying perimenopause for a new generation.
• We explored the importance of open, honest conversations about menopause across different age groups.
• Discussing the emotional and psychological impacts of hormonal changes during perimenopause.
• Strategies for creating more supportive, equitable relationships during life transitions.
• Tools for maintaining self-compassion, intimacy, and personal joy through hormonal changes.

Perimenopause is more than a biological transition—it's an opportunity for radical self-discovery. By embracing this journey with curiosity, compassion, and courage, we're not just changing our personal narratives, but transforming how society views women's aging and power. Your story matters, and this is your moment to rewrite it.

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

What happens when you feel disconnected from your sexuality in midlife? When hot flashes, body changes, and societal myths about aging make you question your sensual self? In this raw and transformative episode, multi-published erotic author Anna Sansom shatters the outdated narratives that keep midlife women feeling invisible and sexually irrelevant. 

Drawing from her experiences as a queer woman, sexual surrogate, and creative provocateur, Anna offers a revolutionary roadmap for reclaiming pleasure, exploring desire, and writing your own intimate story—no matter your age. 

Reclaim your sensuality and step into a powerful new chapter. The Midlife Pleasure Collective is a monthly membership designed to help midlife women reconnect with their bodies, embrace their desires, and cultivate deeper pleasure.

Anna Sansom writes about imperfect intimacy and expansive erotica. Her short stories have been published in anthologies and online (including Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 10; and TheoReads.com). Anna trained and worked as a sexual surrogate partner in a sex therapy clinic, and wrote the Sex/Life pages for DIVA Magazine (the leading magazine for LGBTQIA+ women and non-binary people) for two years. Her more-than-a-memoir, Desire Lines, shares personal stories as well as erotica and invites you to ask the questions – and explore the answers – which can lead to greater understanding and enjoyment of your unique sexual self. Her latest book, Sex Meets Life, is a collection of personal essays and stories from 17 diverse and international authors writing about what happens to our sex lives when ‘life’ inevitably happens. https://sexmeetslife.com/ Anna has a PhD in occupational therapy and a serious tea addiction. She loves swimming in the sea and talking to her cats.

Highlights from our discussion include:

• Embracing curiosity about your sexuality, especially during midlife transitions
• Using writing as a tool for sexual self-discovery and exploration
• Redefining intimacy beyond physical acts to include presence and connection
• Recognizing creativity and sexuality as interconnected energy sources
• Challenging societal narratives about aging and desire by owning your unique sexual journey

Whether you've ever felt disconnected from your desire, uncertain about your sexual identity, or simply curious about the rich inner world of pleasure, this conversation will inspire you to get curious, be courageous, and reconnect with the most authentic version of yourself. 

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

CONNECT WITH ANNA SANSOM:

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and felt like a stranger was staring back? Have you mourned the body you once had, or grown frustrated that your form, vitality, and sensuality no longer resonate as they once did? If these feelings sound familiar, know that you are not alone. This episode delves into a deeply personal exploration, drawing directly from a body love challenge I led earlier this year. You can explore day one of the challenge right here.

Reclaim your sensuality and step into a powerful new chapter. The Midlife Pleasure Collective is a monthly membership designed to help midlife women reconnect with their bodies, embrace their desires, and cultivate deeper pleasure.

In this private experience, I guided women through exercises designed to reconnect with their bodies in a loving, liberating way. This particular session focuses on finding peace with our evolving bodies – embracing the softness, the stretch marks, the belly, the fatigue, and the shifting sense of self. It’s about navigating the changes of midlife, not with shame, but with compassion; not with control, but with care.

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.