Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment – Details, episodes & analysis

What if the behaviors you see in your struggling teen aren’t just “problems,” but signs that the identity they were given no longer fits? What if their resistance, shut-down, or self-destructive choices are really the early stages of something Jake Wood knows all too well: the painful beginning of learning to trust yourself again after trauma, addiction, and conditioning?

In today’s conversation, Jake returns to share the part of his story most parents never get to hear from their own child: what it feels like on the inside when the systems that shaped you ( family expectations, culture, religion, diagnostic labels, school, recovery programs) tell you who you’re supposed to be, while your true self is begging for air.

Jake walks us through the years he spent trying to fit into a system that convinced him he was broken… until everything collapsed. Addiction, relapse, spiritual pressure, shame, and finally a life-threatening cancer diagnosis stripped him of every identity he’d ever carried. The belief system he built his whole life on fell apart and he had to rebuild from the inside out.

For parents, this conversation is a window into what your child may be wrestling with beneath the behavior. The confusion. The shame. The feeling of being “the identified patient.” The pressure to be who the system says they should be. And the long, messy, necessary process of learning to trust themselves again after trauma and conditioning.

Jake’s journey reminds us that breakdowns in our teens aren’t always signs of failure, but can also be signs of a self being born.

If you’ve ever wondered why your child reacts the way they do, why consequences don’t “fix it,” or why their behavior seems to carry so much pain, this episode will help you see their struggle with new compassion… and perhaps see your own inner work more clearly, too.

In this episode on learning to trust yourself again after trauma and conditioning, we discuss:

• How systems (family, school, religion, culture) shape identity, and shame;
• What it feels like to be the “identified patient” in a family;
• Why teens may crumble when they can’t meet expectations;
• How addiction, relapse, and shame cycles destroy self-trust;
• The symbolic collapse of identity through Jake’s cancer journey;
• Shadow work and parts work as tools for rebuilding inner authority;
• What unconditional love looks like when everything is falling apart;
• How breakdowns can become breakthroughs for both parent and child;
• And more!

More about Jake Wood

Jake Wood is a certified Resilience and Transformation Coach who helps individuals navigate their Soul–System dynamics — the interplay between the stories they inherited and the soul’s original truth. His descent through addiction, depression, and cancer became the doorway through which his soul revealed what had been buried beneath the early system conditioning. Today, Jake walks alongside those who feel called to turn inward and discover what their own soul is revealing. 

He can be reached at coaching@lifebeyondthebrink.com.  

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Before your child has the chance to understand who they truly are, the world is already telling them what they are. Jake Wood knows this firsthand, and his story turns our whole conversation about teen drug addiction upside down.

In one of the favorite interviews I’ve ever done, I sit down with transformation guide Jake Wood to explore a perspective on teen drug addiction that most parents never hear: one rooted not in pathology, shame, or “fixing,” but in soul, story, and deep humanity.

“Shame has always been my monster” - Jake Wood

Jake shares his extraordinary journey from “System Jake,” shaped by rigid rules, labels, and misdiagnoses, to “Soul Jake,” the version of himself that emerged after surviving an aggressive cancer diagnosis, and a complete identity unraveling. His insight into labels like addict, bipolar, or behavioral problem will challenge the way you see your struggling teen, and maybe even yourself.

You’ll hear how addiction often begins as a coping strategy, not a character flaw, why shame disconnects kids from their true selves, and how parents can shift from fear-based reactions to compassion, presence, and genuine connection.

Have a listen to hear what Jake has to say about supporting your struggling teen or young adult without getting lost in labels!

In this episode on teen drug addiction, we discuss:

• Why labels like “addict” can sometimes do more harm than good;
• How shame disconnects teens from themselves and others;
• Jake’s life-changing journey through addiction, recovery, and cancer;
• The difference between “System identity” and “Soul identity”;
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) reframes addiction as a protective part;
• Why connection, not control, is the antidote to teen drug addiction;
• How parents can hold space for their teen’s pain without absorbing it;
• The generational patterns that shape kids long before behavior shows up;
• And much more.

More About Jake Wood

Jake Wood is a certified Resilience and Transformation Coach who helps individuals navigate their Soul–System dynamics — the interplay between the stories they inherited and the soul’s original truth. His descent through addiction, depression, and cancer became the doorway through which his soul revealed what had been buried beneath the early system conditioning. Today, Jake walks alongside those who feel called to turn inward and discover what their own soul is revealing. 

He can be reached at coaching@lifebeyondthebrink.com.  

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Stories about wilderness range from life-saving transformations to devastating failures, and often, the loudest voices online lean toward fear and controversy.

That’s why I’m so excited to be joined by filmmakers Mark Strauss and Vince Dixon, co-directors of the upcoming documentary Forest for the Trees: The Truth About Wilderness Therapy. With lived experience of loss, addiction, and healing in their own families, Mark and Vince share why they felt compelled to create a film that tells the whole story: the good, the bad, and everything in between.

As a parent who’s walked this road myself, I can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear someone say, “Let’s look at the whole truth.” Because when you’re facing impossible choices for your child, what you need most is understanding, not judgment.

In this episode on the truth about wilderness therapy, we discuss:

• Vince’s journey from losing his sister to fentanyl poisoning to creating films that spark healing conversations;
• Why Mark and Vince believe wilderness therapy is misunderstood and often misrepresented;
• The importance of showing all sides of wilderness stories: positive, negative, and complicated;
• How parents’ desperation and deep love factor into the decision to seek treatment;
• Why this documentary is being made now, and how you can get involved in supporting it.

Resources mentioned in this episode

You can learn more about ‘Forst for the Trees’ on their website, Instagram or Facebook.

Learn more about 'Sometimes I Imagine Your Funeral' on their website, or Instagram.

Learn more about Mark’s film 'The Funeral Photographer' on their website.

Looking for support?

🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:

Leaving a review

Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

How do you respond when your kid is feeling sad? Will you try to fix things for them? Help them out? It might feel like the right thing to do but you’re sending out a different message than you likely intended.

Seeing your kid struggle with their emotions is hard for many reasons. You want to make them feel better. Sometimes, you might even be running out of empathy because you feel like they ‘should be over it by now’. And it gets especially hard when the behavior looks similar to pre-wilderness behavior, like staying in their room and isolating themselves.

In this episode, we’re going to dive deep into the topic of giving ourselves and others the time to feel hard feelings, and how we can model to our kids that feeling those big feelings is completely fine and normal.

In this episode on how to feel and let your kids feel, we discuss:

• How we often put a time limit on grief or other hard feelings;
• How parents tend to try to control the narrative when they get fearful;
• How do you know if your teen is processing their feelings or not?;
• The importance of context;
• Why we try to control people;
• And much more.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How do you live with your teen who’s using? And how do you know whether your behavior as a parent is supportive or enabling? There’s a fine line between the two… 

As if that isn’t hard enough to figure out already, additionally, many parents are afraid of losing the relationship they have with their teen by having hard conversations or sticking to their boundaries. 

It’s a difficult subject, and an even more difficult situation to be in, so what better place to talk about it than here on the podcast? Let’s dive in.

In this episode on living with your teen who’s using, we discuss:

• Looking at the patterns you see in your teen’s behavior;
• Seeing the bigger picture;
• Understanding what is your part and what isn’t;
• Getting out of black-or-white thinking;
• Upholding boundaries without judgment;
• Remaining in your parent role;
• The key to understanding what’s enabling or supportive in your family.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

School and academics can cause a lot of tension in your household. No matter your good intentions or whether or not you have the skills and knowledge to help your teen with their school work, getting guidance and encouragement from you can be triggering for them.

On the other hand, it can also cause a lot of frustration for you as the parent when you see your child’s behavior around schoolwork. It can be hard to not let judgment shine through in your communication, which raises the emotions for your teen and leads to even more procrastination and resistance. 

In this second part of my interview with Chrissy Nichols, an amazing Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments, she tells us more about how an Executive Function coach can help your family. Have a listen!

In this episode on giving the gift of an Executive Function coach to your family, we discuss:

• The difference between EF coaching, academic tutoring and life coaching and how they weave together;
• Working on your teen’s confidence and self-belief;
• Taking the judgment out of helping our kids;
• Giving control to the EF coach;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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More about Chrissy Nichols

Chrissy Nichols is an executive function coach for learners of all ages but specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. After more than 22 years in the classroom, Chrissy's brain hacks help clients see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them--they just need to learn how to rewire their brain.

Chrissy's work is aimed to empower her student clients to empower themselves. For parents, this means taking school and academics off their parenting plates so they can simply love their child. 

See how Chrissy’s thought concepts can become your executive function concepts over at www.thechrissyconcept.com

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

What would it feel like if you just got to love your child at the dinner table instead of having conflicts over due dates or presentations? To be able to take that completely out of the equation? An Executive Function coach might be exactly what your family needs.

Chrissy Nichols is an Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. So what does that mean exactly?

In short, executive functioning is all about learning self-regulation skills like working memory, mental flexibility, and time management. In other words, Chrissy helps teens by taking big projects and helping them chunk them down into bite-sized pieces so life feels less overwhelming.

If academics feel out of your control or have turned you into the academic police at your household, make sure you have a listen to what Chrissy has to share today. Her love for kids really shines through in her words. I cannot wait for you to listen to this episode!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

In this episode on executive functioning, we discuss:

• What is an Executive Function coach?;
• Taking school and academics off your parenting plate;
• Working on your teen’s growth mindset;
• Therapeutic burnout;
• And more!

The journey your teen is on isn’t an easy one. They’re trying to make healthier choices, also when it comes to the people they hang out with. As a parent, you might feel relief when your child decides to cut ties with a ‘bad influence’, making it hard for you to empathize with them. But remember that it’s a completely different experience for them.

Even if your teen realizes that this person they’re cutting ties with isn’t a good person to be around anymore, it isn’t an easy process for them to go through. It’s a loss they’re experiencing and they go through a mourning process. 

Remember that your kid is learning and establishing what is healthy for them. That’s huge! That’s what we want our kids to do, right?! We’re trying to raise self-governing adults and this is a very important part of that.

In today’s episode, we dive deeper into how to support your child when they’re going through the loss of ending a relationship even when it feels hard for you to do. Let’s give our kids the support they need.

In this episode on supporting your teen in making healthier choices and ending ‘toxic’ friendships, we discuss:

• Putting the experience of ending a ‘toxic’ friendship into perspective;
• Relationships are not as black and white as we think;
• Learning to listen for the sake of listening, instead of for the sake of responding;
• Realizing what you have control over and what not;
• Your labels of friends might not be right;
• Gaining an understanding of your teen’s feelings around a transition in a relationship;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Christmas is around the corner and brings along a certain level of stress and anxiety in parents and teens alike. We want the holidays to be fun and merry and have a lot of expectations about what it will or should be like. But when not everything turns out the way we expected, it’s those expectations that bring frustration and disappointment.

Join Seth and me today in our conversation about expectations for the holidays. What do we think might happen? What desires do we have? What expectations do our teens have? And how can we all communicate our expectations so we can enjoy a merry Christmas together? Let’s have a look!

In this episode on communicating expectations during the holidays, we discuss:

• Recognizing our own expectations for the holidays;
• Our teens have their own set of expectations;
• How to communicate in your family to help the situation;
• Boundaries during the holidays;
• Teens have a given and a chosen family. They might want to spend time with both during the holidays;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Backburner issues: those little things we’re annoyed about but feel too small or irrelevant to discuss. So we put them on the backburner where they keep growing and growing until they become this big issue in our relationship. Sounds familiar? 

In this second part of my interview with Tanya Hale, who’s an incredible mid-life relationship coach, she shares her formula for talking about backburner issues. Because here’s how she sees it: We don’t want to be mean. We want to be peacekeepers. But we don’t realize that by adopting this peacekeeper’s mindset, we’re working against our relationship.

The solution? Instead of blaming and attacking, we have to learn how to bring up those backburner issues in a loving and kind way. Tanya’s formula is going to help us bring up backburner issues by owning it and still honoring what’s going on for you while communicating it to your loved ones.

In this episode on how to bring up backburner issues, we discuss:

• Are you lying to your spouse?;
• Learning to bring up backburner issues in a loving and kind way;
• Acknowledging there’s an issue;
• Recognizing and communicating that your feelings, thoughts, and points of view are not facts;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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More about Tanya Hale

Tanya Hale is a life coach who focuses on helping women in mid-life work through their tough relationships. She works with clients in all stages of divorce, those who don’t want to get divorced but are struggling to be happy in their marriage, and parents who are struggling with their adult children.   

You can learn more about Tanya’s work on her website and her podcast ‘Intentional living with Tanya Hale’!

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!