Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn: Your Guide to Getting Through the Hard Times – Details, episodes & analysis

Your child might come home from school and say some troubling things about their teacher. “My teacher hates me. I can’t do anything right!” “I’m so messy, and she tells me that I just can’t get my space cleaned up.”

If you’re hearing things like this, it’s usually a sign that there’s some challenge between your child and their teacher.

These can be difficult issues to navigate, but there are strategies to manage teacher troubles. Tune in to this episode of Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn for ways to help.

Related resources

• 9 steps to take if the teacher hurts your child’s feelings
• My child’s teacher is mean to her. What can I do?
• 8 steps to advocating for your child at school 

Timestamps

(00:44) Figuring out your child’s perceptions  

(01:51) Validating your child’s feelings

(05:29) Validating the teacher’s experience  

(07:03) How to find solutions

(09:13) How challenges can help kids grow and thrive  

(10:42) What to do if the situation is really bad

We’d love to hear from you. You can email us at ParentingBehavior@understood.org.

A transcript for this episode is available on Understood.org.  

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Parent-teacher conferences can seem like high-pressure events. 

There are only 10 or 15 minutes, at most, for you and the teacher to discuss many important things. Plus you want to keep things positive and the teacher engaged. It’s a lot to consider.

On this episode of Parenting Behavior, host Dr. Andy Kahn will talk about some things you can do to make the conference as successful as possible. 

Related resources

• 3 ways I engage my child in parent-teacher conferences 
• Teachers weigh in: What I wish parents asked at parent-teacher conferences
• Listen: How to make the most of parent-teacher conferences
• Download: Parent-teacher conference worksheet

Timestamps

(00:54) Basic ways to prepare before the conference

(02:29) Advance communication

(04:44) How to prepare emotionally

(08:16) Special considerations for neurodivergent kids

We’d love to hear from you. You can email us at ParentingBehavior@understood.org.

A transcript for this episode is available on Understood.org.  

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Your child’s tantrums or meltdowns can make you angry or upset. But it’s harder to think clearly when you’re having big emotions. That’s why it’s essential to learn your parenting triggers and use self-calming skills to help you parent more effectively during heated moments.  

In this seven-minute episode of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn teaches you how to look inward and notice signs you’ve been triggered. You’ll also learn common ways kids trigger their parents and quick mindfulness strategies to help you calm down. 

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood. 

Related resources

• What your child’s anger might be telling you

Timestamps

(00:39) Why you need to know your parenting triggers  
(01:40) How to identify your parenting triggers
(04:31) What to do after you identify what triggers you  
(05:47) What you can practice ahead of time  

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Do your child’s outbursts seem to come out of nowhere? In this seven-minute episode of “What Now? A Parent’s Guide,” psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn explains how to find your child’s behavior triggers to prevent tantrums and meltdowns.  

Learn which details to track to help you spot patterns, like time of day, what your child was doing just before the outburst, and who else was there. 

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood. \

Related resources

• What your child’s anger might be telling you

Timestamps

(1:08) Why parents need to be detectives  
(2:53) How to identify your child’s triggers  
(5:27) What you can practice ahead of time  

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It may sound surprising, but praising your child for what they did correctly when they got upset can help prevent future tantrums or meltdowns.  

In this five-minute episode of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn explains how to notice your child’s self-calming efforts and give detailed praise so they’ll know what you want them to do again in the future.  

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.  

Related resources

• The best way to praise kids who learn and think differently

Timestamps

(00:40) Why the right kind of praise can make a big difference  
(02:38) How to praise proactively  
(03:45) What you can practice ahead of time  

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Talking to your child after a tantrum or meltdown can help you find out what caused the outburst. But timing is crucial. Try to talk too soon, and you may rev up big emotions. Wait too long, and your child may lose track of key details that can help you figure out what triggered the outburst.

In this 6-minute episode of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn teaches you how to know when your child is ready to talk and how to start the conversation. Get expert tips including the best open-ended questions to ask after your child has a tantrum or meltdown.

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.  way.

Related resources

• Download: Feelings wheel

Timestamps

(00:41) Why timing is really important  
(02:16) How to know when your child is ready to talk  
(03:44) How to start the conversation  
(04:55) What you can practice ahead of time  

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It’s stressful when your child is having a tantrum or outburst, and your reaction can ramp up their behavior. One way to lower the tension is to ask for a sports-style time-out so you and your child can take a quick break from the action.  

In this eight-minute episode of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn explains how to take a mutual time-out when your child is upset. One key detail: Tell your child when you’ll come back together. This can help kids use the time apart to calm down instead of worrying about being abandoned.  

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood. 

Related resource

• Self-care for kids: 6 ways to self-regulate

Timestamps

(00:44) Why mutual time-outs are so helpful  
(01:37) How to take a mutual time-out  
(07:00) What you can practice ahead of time

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

The single most important step to calm your child’s tantrums or outbursts is to look calm — even if you don’t feel calm.  

In this five-minute episode of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn explains why the way you look and sound can have a big impact on your child's behavior. He also offers tips for staying cool during heated moments — or fake it till you make it.

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood. 

Related Resources

• Managing emotions

Timestamps

(00:45) Why you need to look calm  
(02:39) How to project calm in heated moments  
(03:45) What you can practice ahead of time  

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Not all outbursts are the same, and how you respond can have a big impact on your child’s behavior. In this 7-minute episode of of What Now? A Parent’s Guide, psychologist Dr. Andrew Kahn explains how to tell the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown and what to do next.

For more resources, visit the episode page on Understood. 

Related resources

• Taming tantrums vs. managing meltdowns 
• When older kids still have tantrums: What to know  
   

Timestamps

(00:35) Why it helps to know the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown  
(04:45) How to tell a tantrum from a meltdown  
(06:09) What you can do ahead of time

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Learning challenges in kids can be really tricky to spot.

It can be hard to tell whether your child can’t do something, or if they just won’t. And sometimes it’s not clear what’s an in-the-moment challenge and what’s a pattern. 

On this episode of Parenting Behavior, host Dr. Andy Kahn will explain how to spot what might be a learning difference in your child. 

We’d love to hear from you. You can email us at ParentingBehavior@understood.org.

A transcript for this episode is available on Understood.org.  

Related resources

• What are learning and thinking differences?
• The difference between learning disorder and learning disability
• Learning disabilities: What they are and aren’t
• Kids with multiple learning and thinking differences: What you need to know

Timestamps

(0:53) How to gather good data

(1:57) Looking for patterns

(3:09) Using homework to find clues

(5:37) How to spot motor or physical difficulties

(7:29) Why frustration can be a good thing

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give