ANSWER YOUR CALL!  OR GET OFF THE POT!

Lauren and I giving some tough love to you women who are on the fence about answering your call.  We wholeheartedly urge you to take courage and step towards the bit of uncertainty that might be the start of an adventure.

With love.

Om & Lauren.

Priestess Training : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

www.OmRupani.org

PODCAST WITH EYLA CUENCA —

TOPICS:

I feel for you people who binge watch my material.

Containment for a birth doula.  Containment in birth space.

The energetics of Containment.

Containment in Man-Woman dynamic.

Men’s initiations, or lack there of, these days.

Where the men drop contentment and boundaries, women step in to pick up the slack.

You will never get the best out of a woman who is chronically uncontained.

What women look like after a good scene.

The downward spiral of distrust that results in long-term frustrations.

Reversing the downward spirals.

Men want to be found right.

Discerning non-consensual Domination & submission from the consensual.

Using scene-play for release and catharsis.

Flipping trauma for Eros.

The coolness of the Dom energy.

Balancing energies between Dom & sub.

Archetypical mismatch when both woman and men are submissives.

Women being more yes to their submission than men are to their Domination.

A functional dom-sub dynamic is a co-conspiracy.

www.OmRupani.org

ANNOUNCING NEW IN-PERSON, 7-DAY RETREAT.  IN CYPRUS!  FEBRUARY ’25.

I’m very excited to be announcing a new Intensive BDSM Retreat that I will be offering, starting in February 2025.  

The workshop is titled BDSM PRINCIPLES & DOM-SUB EXPLORATION.  Over the course of 7days / 6 nights, we will take a deeper dive into the various possible in this realm.

Please explore the course page for full details : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

CONTAINMENT BY OTHER NAMES

Containment is the inner feeling we have when we are feeling grounded, coherent, stable, calm, collected.

Loss of that inner Containment makes us feel discombobulated, triggered, upset, unfocused, frazzled, emotional and many other darker emotions that are often associated with old pain and narrative.

When loss of Containment occurs, our tendency is to try and track down its origin to the many different things that may be happening on the outside in our circumstances of the moment. Or we may try and track the current upset down to old pain and pattern and wounds.  Often times, this attempt to trace back the origin of our loss of Containment is not a fruitful undertaking.

When we are upset, the best thing is to come out of that upset first.  When we are feeling Un-Containted, the thing that really needs to happen next is that we need to find our way back into Containment.  Attempting to solve problems while we are Un-Contained is a bad idea.  Attempting to have conversations about our relationship with our partner while we are Un-Contained usually only aggravates the situation.

In Man-Woman relating, I feel Men have the opportunity to offer this Containment to their women when she experiences a loss of Containment.  If we could build our understanding of this phenomenon and learn how to solve it with greater skill, we could resolve a lot of ancillary problems that often get attached to the painful experience of the loss of Containment, especially in the feminine.

Some of the feelings women often describe when they are experiencing loss of their energetic Containment: 

PERCEPTIONS AND FEELINGS DIRECTED TOWARDS HER MAN:

1. Feeling Abandoned by him.
2. Feeling Dropped by him.
3. Not being able to feel her man.
4. Feeling he is not present.
5. Feeling she doesn’t have his attention.
6. Feeling not seen by her man.
7. Feeling he is not taking her seriously.
8. Feeling he doesn’t get it.
9. Feeling alone even in his company.
10. Feeling not heard.
11. Feeling disconnected.
12. Feeling he does not make her a priority.
13. Feeling neglected.
14. Feeling she is not important to him.
15. Feeling he is choosing other people and things over her.

INNER FEELINGS THAT TRIGGER LOSS OF CONTAINMENT

1. Feeling overwhelmed.
2. Feeling alone.
3. Feeling she has to handle everything herself.
4. Feeling nobody has her back.
5. Feeling unchosen.
6. Feeling unworthy.
7. Feeling things are only going to get worse.
8. Feeling panicked.
9. Feeling anxious.
10. Feeling her life situation and choices are in error.

These issues may be something real that need to be addressed in your life or your relationship , or they may not be.  But if these feelings are being experienced DURING the loss of energetic Containment, then the best, first step is to restore Containment.  Visit the relational issues afterwards.  

Often times, these feelings are emotional distortions that are a symptom of loss of Containment.  In which case, resorting Containment is the main thing that needs to happen.

-- Om Rupani
www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

WHAT IS CONTAINMENT, AND WHY MEN SHOULD LEARN IT.

Containment is that good feeling we feel on the INSIDE of our body when someone we care for gives us a nice, grounding hug.  We welcome their touch and their embrace.  We sink into their body.  We let their groundedness ground us.  Our breathing and heart rate slows down.

We feel more calm and less anxious.  Emotionally & Energetically, we feel more Contained.

Although a physical act like a hug or other grounding touch can be very effective at creating Containment, the location of Containment itself is in our energetic and emotional body.  We all benefit and feel nourished from receiving this Containment of our emotional and energetic system.

I think women in general have a greater need for Containment, and I think men are better built naturally to provide this Containment.  Being in a dynamic where the Man is providing good Containment to his woman on a regular basis can be a very positive aspect to have in one’s relating.

Containment also plays a crucial role in the arousal dynamics of a couple.  Arousing energy is always more pleasurable and effective when it follows good Containment.  A Contained system is more receptive to arousal than an uncontained and frazzled system.  So, the understanding of this energetics of Containment is crucial for the love life and the romantic life of a couple at multiple levels.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

Couples are afraid of each other's growth.  We are afraid that if our partner grows too much, expands too much, has breakthroughs, they may in fact outgrow us and leave us behind.

Couples hold each other back in order to insure their own security in the relationship. We don't always feel that our partner expanding is necessarily in our best interest.

So we hold each other back.  And the only way we can accomplish this is through lies and camouflage.  Nobody is going to step up and confess that they are making an effort to hold their partner back in life.  So we have to invent a cover and lie with skill to get the job done.

What's more, often times the lies are operating on both sides.  It's not so much that one partner is lying to another.  It's more that both partners are engaged in a conspiracy of lies to stay stuck and stagnant in their current state.

Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

TALKING TO MY FRIEND JENELLE - A GRADUATE OF OUR PRIESTESS TRAINING.

Janelle came into the Priestess Training with little to no knowledge about BDSM, and with very little connection to her own Dominant or submissive archetypes.

It’s been fun to watch her journey and to see her come into her own.  These days she considers herself a rather effective advocate for the possibilities that this realm has to offer everyone, including the women she works with as well as couples.

We chat about her arc and how she sees herself differently after her own journey and what she feels she is now contributing to others.

You can learn more about her here : https://www.feelwildlyalive.com/

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

DO WOMEN NEED TO BE KEPT IN CHECK?

Not all women.  

But the women who have the desire for being in a hierarchical relationship should understand this point : One of the functions and responsibilities of the person higher in the hierarchy is to keep the people lower in the hierarchy in check.

This is a point that even the people who are actively pursuing polarized dynamics are grasping are often failing to grasp.

I see a lot of women who are ready to be with men who are strong and dominant and grounded and making something of themselves in the world.  The women do want their men to ‘take the lead’.  But when it comes to decision-making and directing action, the women are firmly planted in the feminist egalitarian model that all important decisions should be made by democratic vote, and everybody’s thoughts and feelings should be taken under consideration.  All of a sudden, the Dom-sub dynamic collapses into an Occupy Wall Street meeting full of gentle and considerate hand signals.

There is no advocacy here on my part.  I am not saying women should take directions from men.  I most certainly am not saying that all the men of the world should keep all the women of the world in check.  There is no ideology here.  

What I do want to point out is a cornerstone of hierarchical dynamic that is in the blindspot of many people who are wondering why their dynamic still feels like more work than enjoyment.  

If you want a hierarchical dynamic, find a man whose decision making, clarity and judgement you trust and respect above your own.  I grant you, finding this man is not easy.  But these are the basic requirements of functional hierarchy — find someone better than yourself to follow.  And then follow them.

Following them means you don’t direct their actions.

Following them means they can direct your actions.

Following him means he gets to veto your decisions.

Following him means, when there is a difference in opinion between you and him, his decision is the final one.

He needs to be a man who can hold that position of leadership with ethos, a big heart and desire for a win-win outcome.

Find that man.  Then, follow him.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

MEN - DON’T TRY TO PARTNER WITH A WOMAN WHO DOESN’T NEED YOU!

Men need to be needed.  

Men want to be useful.

Men’s esteem is intricately connected to them making themselves into the kind of men who are useful to the people around them.  All people — your family, your friends, your bosses and employees, your parents, your brothers, your children, and also your woman.

This need is not some kind of a weakness.  It is sane and healthy interdependence.  It means you belong to your tribe.  You belong to your family.  You belong to your loved ones.

Your use to others is how you bond with others.

If you disconnect from this good and healthy need, you will create failure in your life in a multitude of directions:

You will make yourself into the kind of man who is useless to anyone and everyone around you.

This will make you into a loner.  Men will not feel much pull to have you as a friend.  

Women, most certainly will not be attracted to you.  

Nor will you be productive or generative in society.  

Nor will you be able to generate value and money and wealth.

The healthy esteem of a man is contextual.  We build our value in the context of how we are connecting and what we are providing to the people in our tribe.

— — — 

Your connection with your woman is no exception to this.  In fact, a thriving connection to your woman ought to be the centerpiece of your usefulness, your competence and your contribution.

Your woman should pick you because you are tremendously useful to her.

She should pick you because her life is better with you than without you.

She should pick you because you are able to bring riches into her life that she cannot bring into her own life.

If all that is in place, she will look up to you if she is a gracious and balanced woman.  She will acknowledge the contribution you are making to her life.  She will acknowledge how valuable you are to her.  This acknowledgment is an integral part of her respect for you.

You should earn this respect.  You should aim to inspire this respect in her.

If you are failing to inspire this respect in a particular woman, proceed no further with her.

If you are failing to inspire this respect in all women, you need to look at your own life and do better.  Build a fuller and richer life to invite a woman into.  Make yourself more useful to others, including women.

If you are proud of who you are and the life you are leading, then, when you are with a particular woman who acts as if you are brining nothing special into her life, move on; that’s not your woman.

If you stumble upon a woman who on principle declares, ‘I don’t need no man’, please keep moving.  You don’t need to take offense at her stance.  You don’t need to argue with her.  Please don’t try to change her mind.

Rest in your inner wisdom and self-knowledge that you need to be with a woman who needs you, who admires you for what you bring to her, because she can’t bring those aspects to her own life.  You need to be with a woman who respects you for your strengths, abilities and your contributions to her life.

Any and all women who fall out of this important parameter, please move away from those women.  Don’t try to partner with them.  Even if they are making advances for partnership towards you while in this attitude, do not start a relationship with them.

The vast majority of women in the world today are stuck in their GIRLFRIEND archetype and in their MODERN WOMAN archetype.  Both of these energetic configurations are shadowy energies tha

www.OmRupani.org

Speaking on various topics related to BDSM, eros and man-woman relating.

www.OmRupani.org

What is a Reclaimed Woman - with Kelly Brogan MD

Kelly discusses her new book, The Reclaimed Woman which unpacks bitterness and resentment of the modern day woman through rich narratives and thoughtful critiques. It challenges conventional notions of feminism, exploring how societal influences and expectations shape personal identity and relational dynamics. 

She exposes layers of societal conditioning, revealing the struggles women face in reclaiming their autonomy and voice, inviting a reevaluation of what it means to be empowered, urging a return to authenticity and an embrace of the unique power inherent in the feminine. 

This work promises to spark thoughtful discussions on the nature of personal growth, the impact of societal narratives on identity, and opportunity we have to heal the root cause of pain, fear, shame, and suffering for women.

KellyBroganMD.com

www.OmRupani.org

ASK A PRODOMME!

Conversation with Geraecka Lyonns about:

The cathartic possibilities in BDSM play.

Architecting humiliation play.

Releasing shame and guilt through punishment scenes.

Pain as a pathway towards rebalancing the psyche.

Why powerful men seek out takedown scenes.  

The importance of Containment.

The freedom to explore inside of Containment.

The breakdown of Containment in man-woman relating.

The fatigue in the modern women due to lack of Containment.

The difficulty in the modern woman embodying her sensuality while she is un-contained.

Men building their Containment through facing challenges and doing hard work.

The drawback in men outsourcing their warrior energy.

Reversing self-absorption to build Containment and reduce anxiety.

Containment as prerequisite for healing in any modality.

D/s dynamic as a superb invitation for exploring polarity.

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GERAECKA’S INFO : https://www.themarscontract.com/

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OM’S UPCOMING BDSM TRAININGS:

PRIESTESS TRAINING - JERSEY CITY; JUNE 22 : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

TANTRA MEETS BDSM - AUSTRIA; AUGUST 16 : https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

BDSM FUNDAMENTALS & SCENE PLAY TRAINING : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-training

www.OmRupani.org

REGAINING OUR EDGE AS MEN - PODCAST WITH DANIELE WHITE

In this conversation, Daniel and Om Rupani discuss the concept of masculinity and the importance of men finding their edge. 

They address the false equivalencies and stereotypes surrounding masculinity, such as the idea that being in authority is toxic. 

They also explore the impact of internalized misandry on men and the need for men to step into their power. 

Om emphasizes the importance of men leading in their relationships and the benefits of men finding their authority in all aspects of life. 

They discuss the role of competence-based hierarchies and the importance of men being focused and engaged in their lives. 

The conversation explores the concept of authority and its importance in personal growth and spirituality. It emphasizes the need for individuals to establish and enforce their boundaries as a form of personal authority. T

he conversation also touches on the challenges of modern relationships and the importance of clarity and agreement in man-woman dynamics. 

It highlights the detrimental effects of disrespect in relationships and the need for both men and women to address their internal conflicts and work towards mutual respect.

COURSE PAGE FOR ‘REGAINING OUR EDGE AS MEN’ : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

www.OmRupani.org

UPCOMING COURSES WITH LEAH PIPER. SACRAMENTO; MAY 10-12.

Leah and I discuss the possibilities in both the tantric and BDSM traditions.  We will be teaching a new course titled : MAKING SEX DIRTY AGAIN, that will offer the participants an exploration into both the YES as well as the NO elements in our Eros.

Friday before the weekend course, I will be doing a BDSM demo and Q&A.

Demo Page : https://omrupani.org/courses/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo

Course Page : https://omrupani.org/dirty

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Leah’s Links:

Leah Piper

More Love Works

www.moreloveworks.com

www.sexreimagined.com

support@moreloveworks.com

www.OmRupani.org

GRADUATES OF PRIESTESS TRAINING SHARING ABOUT THIER EXPERIENCE

The next run of Priestess Training starts on June 22.

Several of our graduates share here about their experience with the course.

If you are thinking of joining, please reach out with any questions.

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

SHIFTING PRIESTESS TRAINING FROM VIENNA TO NEW JERSEY

Hello Everyone.  Lauren and I are pivoting our next Priestess Training from Vienna back to Jersey City, NJ.

We are doing so in response to the needs and desires of our students.  Many more students are a yes to doing it here right now than traveling to Europe for it.

Please look at the course page if you are interested : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

Please reach out if you have any questions.  Lauren and I are happy to get on a zoom call with you to answer your questions.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

10 BDSM SKILLS THAT CAN INFORM ALL RELATIONSHIPS : 05 - END YOUR SCENE!

Long-term couples are often struggling with recapturing the spark they felt with each other during the beginning of their connections.

Regular therapists offer their own solutions to what a couple might try to find their way out of the doldrums of an ongoing dynamic that may be prone to falling into domesticity rather than romance and passion.

BDSM has it’s own flavor of advice and wisdom:  

END YOUR SCENES!  

RITUALIZE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

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Make your life into distinct scenes.

Close each scene.  

Make your scene interesting enough that you feel full at the end.

Know how to end on a peak.

A good scene is a full meal of relating.

When you talk to most couple, they may be spending hours each day together and yet it does not seem that they have had a full meal of relationship in a long time.

Scenes create intensity.

It’s satisfying to close scenes and cycles.

Satisfaction is experienced at the end of a cycle.  If you don’t end cycles, you may miss out on satisfaction.

We need distinct events in our relating.

We need punctuation marks in our relating.  Close sentences and paragraphs and chapters in your relating; then start new ones.  You need a change of costume.  You need a change of location.

How can long term couples end their scenes?

Create separation.  Set up a lifestyle with punctation marks instead of run-on sentences.  

Don’t try to ruin the separation.  Use life to create separation.  Create distance.  Enjoy distance.  Give each other separation.  

Stop being husband and wife for a while, and then pick it up again.  

Have a morning scene.  Have an evening scene.

Your time together should be a segment.

Make occasion of occasions.

Switch archetypes from scene to scene.

Separate scene from scene.

If you are going out to dinner, don’t have domestic conversation on the way to dinner or at dinner or after dinner.  Set up a domestic scene instead.  

Dress up for each scene.

If all this sounds extravagant, it’s your choice how deliberately you want to live your life.

More interesting is available in our living, but it does require more deliberate effort and creation.

End your scenes.  Divide your life into scenes.  In between the scenes let there be clean separation.

Let the man go do his Saturday scene.  Let the woman have her Saturday scene.  Give each other scenes separate from each other.

— Om Rupani

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UPCOMING BDSM TRAININGS:

DEMO + Q&A - SACRAMENTO; MAY 10 : https://omrupani.org/courses/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo

MAKING SEX DIRTY AGAIN - SACRAMENTO; MAY 11, 12 : https://omrupani.org/dirty

PRIESTESS TRAINING - JERSEY CITY; JUNE 22 : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

TANTRA MEETS BDSM - AUSTRIA; AUGUST 16 : https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

BDSM FUNDAMENTALS & SCENE PLAY TRAINING : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-training

www.OmRupani.org

MEN SHOULD RESIST THE URGE TO SPEAK & ACT ANONYMOUSLY IN THIS WORLD

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UPCOMING COURSE FOR MEN —-

DISMANTLING THE NICE GUY IDENTITY : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

REGAINING OUR EDGE AS MEN : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

CREATING THE DOMINANT MAN : https://omrupani.org/creating-the-dominant-man

www.OmRupani.org

THE SHADOW SIDE OF NICE GUY IDENTITY

*(This is part of the module from the upcoming course DISMANTLING THE NICE GUY IDENTITY)

Nice guys aren’t all that nice, it turns out.

Nice guys are often holding in a lot of anger.  Sometimes the quantity of this anger can easily qualify as rage.

Nice guys are often quite jealous and envious of other men and often act in underhanded way to hurt or sabotage men they are envious off.

Nice guys often are full of resentment.

Nice guys tend to be two-faced, and can thus come across as creepy.  People perceive something incoherent in their niceness.  People don’t entirely buy the nice guy’s niceness, causing them distrust the nice guy.

Nice guys are often passive aggressive and hurtful in other ways.

Nice guys are quite judgmental of others — both men and women.  They are judgmental of men who seem to be having success in life and with women in spite of not being nice.  And they are judgmental of women who don’t seem to appreciate their niceness and/or reciprocate their niceness with desire.

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UPCOMING COURSE FOR MEN —-

DISMANTLING THE NICE GUY IDENTITY : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

REGAINING OUR EDGE AS MEN : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

CREATING THE DOMINANT MAN : https://omrupani.org/creating-the-dominant-man

www.OmRupani.org

NEW COURSE ON DARK EROS WITH LEAH PIPER!

I’m very excited to be collaborating with Leah Piper for a new course that will allow the participants to investigate the darker, more troublesome and ‘NO’ element of their Eros.

We are going to use the BDSM framework of scene play and Dom-sub dynamic to take the participants through a series of investigations into various ‘NO’ aspects, so they may discover where there might be a zone of eros hiding for them.

Within the structured container of a scene and with plenty of Containment from their parters, people may choose to go into these ‘zones of aversion’ to make their discoveries and perhaps encounter new turn-ons for themselves.

Full Course Description : https://om-rupani.squarespace.com/config/website/pages

This course will in Leah’s home in Carmichale, CA on May 11th and 12th.  Capacity is limited.

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On the evening of May 10th, I will be doing a BDSM demo and talking about the foundational principles and energetics of the Dom-sub connection.

More Details : https://omrupani.org/courses/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo

Hope to see some of you there.

Please reach out if you have any questions.

Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

PODCAST WITH DANIEL COETSEE ABOUT THE NICE GUY IDENTITY

A conversation about modern masculinity and the Nice Guy scenario that seems so wide-spread in our culture today.

I have 2 upcoming courses for men to address these issues:

1. DISMANTLING THE NICE GUY IDENTITY 

2.  REGAINING OUR EDGE AS MEN

COURSE INFO : https://omrupani.org/#/short-online-courses/

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

Q&A about upcoming Priestess Training

Lauren and I discuss some of the aspects of this in-depth training and take questions from women considering joining us for the next run, which starts in June.

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

Please reach out to us with any questions : OmRupani@me.com

Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

RELAUNCHING THE PRIESTESS TRAINING IN JUNE

This is the most advanced and in-depth BDSM training I offer for people who want to deepen this exploration for themselves and bring it to others for whom they want to hold space.

Lauren and I will be launching the third run of this course in June.

We talk a little bit about what we have seen our students get out of this journey.

We will be doing a Q&A for people who are curious about joining us for this on Wednesday, 3/27/24.

Link for signing up for the Q&A : https://programs.laurenharkness.com/MPOEQnA24?r_done=1

COURSE PAGE : https://omrupani.org/practitioner-mastery

If you have any questions, please reach out to us.  We are happy to answer any questions.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

CONVERSATION ABOUT UPCOMING CLASSES IN BOULDER

I’ll be doing a Demo and Q&A on BDSM this Friday 3/22/24.

REGISTRATION PAGE : https://www.eventbrite.com/e/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo-tickets-800464820827?aff=erelexpmlt

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Next weekend, will be teaching a class in Man-Woman relating.  3/23 - 3/24.

REGISTRATION PAGE : https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-masterfully-submissive-woman-the-dominant-man-2-day-immersion-tickets-800034955087?aff=erelexpmlt

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My dear friend Michaela is hosting me and the classes in Boulder.  We talk here about what students can expect.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

PODCAST WITH LEAH PIPER & DR. WILLOW BROWN

Another lively conversation with these two delightful, amazing women.  We talk about many things having to do with modern man-woman relating and eros.

Our conversation around Men’s Hearts and the modern woman’s attitudes towards men’s hearts gets a bit heated and convoluted here.  I think we end up talking past each other at times.  Who knew the issue of Men’s Hearts might end up being the more controversial and triggering topic.  Apparently there is a lot more here to parse out.  Topic for another podcast.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

MAN - WOMAN & BDSM CONVERSATION ABOUT UPCOMING CLASSES IN BOULDER

I will be doing a talk on BDSM principles along with a live demo in Boulder on Friday, March 22, 2024.

Following that, I will be teaching a weekend class there in Man-Woman relating.

My dear friend Micaela is hosting these events in Boulder.  She and I discuss here the topics that will be covered during these two events and all related matters.

— Om Rupani

BDSM demo and discussion:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/om-rupani-talk-on-bdsm-principles-domsub-energetics-live-demo-tickets-800464820827?aff=erelexpmlt

Weekend Class:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/om-rupani-2-day-weekend-deep-dive-on-manwoman-relating-tickets-800034955087?aff=erelexpmlt

www.OmRupani.org

POLARITY GLITCHES : 01 ARE YOU FOLLOWING YOUR MAN?  OR, ARE YOU ‘LETTING HIM LEAD’?

Many couples who have switched from an egalitarian model of relating towards a more polarized form of relating are still feeling quite exhausted.  The sweet rewards of ease and greater functionality that polarity relating has promised them still seem elusive in their dynamic.  The women are still feeing over-stretch and tired.  The men are not quite feeling like they have arrived in their element in leading in their relationship.

When I’m coaching couples and listening to their conflicts and complaints, I am often able to spot a handful of glitches in their dynamic.  It’s almost as if their habits and ways of doing things need to be ‘debugged’ like in a computer program.  I thought I’d make a series of videos addressing these glitches.

This video deals with one of the most common shadow pieces I see — where the woman thinks or acts like she is really in favor of her man leading, but in fact she is stuck in the shadow energy of ‘letting him lead’,  or ‘allowing him to lead’.  

There is a world of difference between trusting and following your man and this underhanded energy of ‘letting him lead’.

There are many beliefs and energies that can live behind this phenomenon of ‘letting your man lead’ instead of whole-heartedly wanting his leadership.  Here are 2 of them:

1. You simply don’t know how to turn off your controlling mechanism.  Behind this drive to control is a deep distrust — perhaps of everyone, but more likely a distrust towards men and the masculine.
2. You feel following your man makes you inferior to him.  So you are holding your surrender in reserve, because you don’t want to render yourself weaker and inferior to him according to your beliefs.  Constantly checking your man, on the other hand, implies you are more competent than him and thus superior to him.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

WHY WOMEN DON’T HAVE AN INNER MASCULINE : IF YOU DID, YOU WOULD HAVE SOME NATIVE UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IT IS TO BE A MAN — WHICH YOU DON’T!

The idea that certain energies and activities are masculine or feminine, and therefore when a woman is engaged in those ‘masculine’ energies, she is in her ‘inner masculine’, or when a man is engaged in the ‘feminine’ energies, he’s in his ‘inner feminine’ is not a useful formulation, and it is creating a lot of confusion.

Declare certain actives as masculine or feminine if you like.  Do them as you like, But please drop this notion that inside every woman there is an ‘inner masculine’, and inside ever man there is an ‘inner feminine’.

My primary argument and evidence against this inner masculine and inner feminine is this : If every woman had a true ‘inner masculine’ inside of her, her ‘inner masculine’ would be a true reference point towards what it is actually like to be a man in this world!  

Every woman would then understand what it is to occupy a man’s body, to occupy a man’s psyche and motivational system and drives and desires.  THIS IS NOT THE CASE!  Women have no native/intuitive understanding of what it is to be a man.

Men have no native/intuitive understanding of what it is to be a woman.

Let’s stop pretending that we have some inside track into the other gender’s reality.

We need to acknowledge that we are different from each other, and that in fact we ABSOLUTELY DO NOT UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!  

We need to acknowledge that we don’t have native knowledge of the other sex, so that we can start to look at each other with curiosity and start to humbly learn each other’s natures, so that we may get along better.

This video is from my course for women.  It is from the section on UNDERSTANDING MEN.  One of the big reasons women today are failing in their relationships with men, is because women don’t really understand men.  In order to begin to understand men, women first need to acknowledge that they don’t have some inner masculine through which they have an access point for what it is to be a man in this world.

You can view the video version of this podcast at : https://youtu.be/vSiaOvxjqDM

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

A MAN’S SUGGESTIONS ON HOW WOMEN MAY BE MORE FEMININE: 01 - GIVE UP YOUR INNER MASCULINE

More and more women are writing to me these days, asking how they might step more into their feminine.

I thought about this and wrote about this and have come up with a few suggestions.  Will make a serious of videos on these.

The first suggestion is : Please give up the concept of your inner masculine.

You don’t have an inner masculine.  This idea is a figment, and it is creating a lot of confusion.

Women don’t know men.  Women don’t understand men’s nature.  Women should make more of a real effort to understand men and masculine nature.

If women continue to believe that they have an inner masculine, this really needed journey into understanding men gets forestalled and omitted.  And women’s internal reference point for their femininity gets further muddled.

— OmRupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

10 BDSM SKILLS THAT CAN INFORM ALL RELATIONSHIPS : 04 - FIND YOUR DOM RIGHT

Find your Dom right.

Find your Man right.

Find your Leader right.

These can be guiding principles for navigating one’s relationship.  Keep this as the goal — finding your Dom/Man/Leader right.  When you are not finding them right, pause your connection and do whatever is needed to come back to finding them right.

This principle does not imply that all Doms are always right.  Nor does it mean that all Men or all Leaders are always right.  Not at all.  There is no perfection in this world, and certainly there is no perfection in human relating.

One must remember that the optimal state for relationships is when the person in the follower position is finding the person in the lead position right.  Both parties should do their utmost to arrive at and maintain this state of functionality.

One also needs to bring awareness to egoic and zero-sum games we might be playing to habitually and deliberately make our partners wrong.  Such ego and zero-sum games are relationship destroyers.  

We should also be mindful of outside influences that seem more invested in disrupting the agreements and functionality between us and our partners.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

IN-PERSON TRAININGS:

Tantra meets BDSM - 6 Day Retreat in Tulum, Mexico

The Modern Priestess Of Eros - Practitioner Training

ONLINE WORKSHOPS:

What Men Want : A Course For Women

Creating The Dominant Man

BDSM Fundamentals & Scene Play Training

www.OmRupani.org

CONVERSATION ABOUT UPCOMING BOULDER WORKSHOP

I will be teaching an afternoon workshop in Boulder on 1/14/24.

Conversing here about BDSM and Man-Woman Relating.  

About men’s fear of actually getting new information and education regarding sexual mastery.

The importance of getting accurate feedback from women in sex and relationships.

The contempt before investigation attitudes towards BDSM in our culture.

Attraction is measurable.  In this class, we will have women evaluate men and give them real data about how attractive women are finding them.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

Boulder Class : https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-masterfully-submissive-woman-the-dominant-man-tickets-775952222987?aff=oddtdtcreator

www.OmRupani.org

PODCAST WITH AARON KLEINERMAN

Conversing about BDSM, Eros in long-term relationships and other matters.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

TANTRIC FRAMEWORK FOR BDSM

The way Laurie and I teach BDSM, we frame different types of BDSM play within how the energies are moving in different Chakras:

Containment and somatic play, like rope bondage, sensation play, pain play, confinement play activate our energies in the 1st Chakra.

All sexual play hits our 2nd Chakra — including arousal, forced orgasm, orgasm control, peaking.

All esteem and psychological play, such as Humiliation Play, Exclusion Play, Degradation Play hits our esteem center in the 3rd Chakra.

Bringing Devotion in the Dom/sub dynamic activates the energies in the 4th Chakra.  And so on.

We are not experts of classical tantra.  We don’t offer any traditional tantric rituals and practices in our class.  But our framework for BDSM energetics very much refers to our energetic body that the tantric framework employs.

To learn more about this, please come take our class:  https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

CONTAINMENT IN MAN-WOMAN RELATING

Containment is a skill very much needed to do BDSM well.  But this is a skill that is needed far and wide in all our relationships.  Certainly in romantic and intimate relationships between men and women, women are very much in need of receiving solid Containment from their men.

Beyond romantic relationships, being able to give good Containment is a skill very much needed between parents and children, even bosses and employees.

To learn more about this, please come take our class:  https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

CONTAINMENT & PENETRATION IN BDSM PLAY AND SENSUALITY

It’s good to understand that sensual energies move in an UP & DOWN cyclical form.

It’s good to master providing both of these phases to our partners in our sensual connections:

CONTAINMENT involves the grounding and integrating phase of the energy.

PENETRATION is the more stimulating and arousing phase of the cycle.

*******************

Culturally, we are more aware of and have more emphasis on the Penetrative aspect of sensuality.  We want to stimulate our partners.  We want to arouse them.  We want to create a big response in them.

BDSM is brilliant at emphasizing the Containment element of our energetics.  A good BDSM scene begins and ends in Containment.

To learn more about this, please come take our class:  https://omrupani.org/tantra-bdsm

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

PODCAST WITH KELLY BROGAN ON MAN-WOMAN RELATING

It’s always a pleasure to talk to Kelly, especially at such length, and get into the topics regarding Man-Woman Relating and Eros that we are both deeply curious about.

Also mentioned in here is the new free mini-course I’ve just released : DOMINANT MAN + SUBMISSIVE WOMAN - A RELATIONSHIP PRIMER.

That course is available on my teaching website at OmRupani.com

Kelly's Website : https://www.kellybroganmd.com/

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

FREE MINI-COURSE : DOMINANT MAN + SUBMISSIVE WOMAN - A RELATIONSHIP PRIMER

Hello Everyone.  As more people these days are becoming curious about exploring a more polarized dynamic in their man-woman connections, there is a growing inquiry around how exactly can a couple go about doing this flavor of relating.  Men want to know how they might better step into their Dominant archetype.  Women have many concerns about what it means to be a submissive woman.  There is a lot of political charge around the notion of a woman being submissive to a man.

I have 2 separate courses for men and women who want to explore this particular kind of embodiment and relationship creation:

For men, I have my CREATING THE DOMINANT MAN course.

For women, I have WHAT MEN WANT - A COURSE FOR WOMEN.

Both of these courses call for a significant financial investment.  Full information on them is available on my website at OmRupani.org

As a way of introducing these concepts to people who are still only curious about this modality and not yet ready to make the full journey and make the money investment, I have designed this free mini-course as a self-study primer.

I kind of need this free mini-course for my own purposes to offer to couples who want to come to me for private coaching.  I feel if I offer them this information first, they can get a feel for whether all this Dominance and Submission is their cup of tea or not.  If it is, we can talk further.  If not — now you know, and you can go try something else.

Also, there are many teachers offering their coaching on polarized relating.  There isn’t any universal consensus between all people on what good polarized relating is.  Not to mention, there are plenty of people who think all this polarized relating is nonsense.

I think a polarized man-woman relationship can be really great.  I believe men and women are different.  I believe men and women need and desire different things from each other.  I believe that we can serve each other better by strengthening our individual gifts and offering those to our partner.

These are just my Ideas on how we might do man-woman relating better.  Come explore these ideas for free if you are curious.  Make up your own mind.

**********************

This mini course is available on my teaching website at OmRupani.com (This is a different website than my other website where my course informations are listed at OmRupani.org)

OmRupani.com is free to join, but you will have to take a minute to read the guidelines for entering this platform and answering a few questions.

Further instructions for accessing the free mini-course are inside the platform.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.com

www.OmRupani.org

PRIESTESS TRAINING - BALANCING PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL ENERGIES

It’s a common inquiry among women considering this training about balancing their work life with their desires for personal partnerships.  Lauren and I discuss this topic in this video.

COURSE INFORMATION : https://omrupani.org/bdsm-principles-dom-sub-exploration-course

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

OF VICTIMS AND VILLAINS.

Why is it universally so that human beings would rather be victims than villains?

Talk to two opposing parties — whether these opposing parties be quarreling countries or quarreling siblings or spouses.  Ask the two parties to give a tally of their actions.  On paper, their actions will likely seem identical.  Both of them have likely been:

Selfish.

Thoughtless.

Judgemental.

Dismissive.

Violent.

Hurtful.

Unconscious.

Manipulative.

Untruthful.

Conniving.

Expedient.

Prideful.

And yet, ask either of them how they perceive themselves in this conflict, and almost without exception, both of them will declare themselves the victim in the conflict.

Where are the villains of the world?

Why is it that we human beings never seem to have the capacity, the caliber or the clarity to declare ourselves the villain in the story of another?  How is it possible that everyone is a victim in their own story without ever being the villain in someone else’s story?
Who has established this virtue that being a victim is better than being a villain?

Where has this notion taken place that in an ideal world and in ideal human relating, there would be no villains at all?

Do we really want a life in which nobody has ever played the villain in our story?

Do we really want a life in which we have never played the villain in someone else’s story?

Why has the villain in us so throughly been pushed into our shadow?

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3 CONTRIBUTIONS MY VILLAINS HAVE MADE TO MY LIFE

1.  My villains were strong.  By pushing me down into the mud and forcing me to get up again, they rendered me stronger.

My villains showed me where I was sitting fat, dumb and complacent.  They raised my game.  They tested my fences and showed me where I had stalled in life.

My villains pushed me to increase my power so I could overcome them.

My villains pushed me deep into my victimhood so I could eventually feel revulsion at my state of victimhood and claw my way out of it.

2.  My villains invariably had qualities and virtues and powers I did not posses at the time they victimized me.  They had bigger range over the game of life than I did.  They showed me what else was possible in human embodiment.

They beat the sleepiness and naiveté out of me.  They gave me a sharper connection to reality and to human nature.  They made me shrewder and wiser.  They were not teachers I had chosen, but the education I received at their hands was invaluable.

They may not have stepped up to be my mentors, they may have only showed up to victimize me, but through them I acquired strengths, powers and masteries I would not have otherwise.

3.  My villains have made my life interesting.  Subtract the villains of my life from my life and I don’t even know what remains.  

The challenges they hurled my way constitute the best stories of my life.

My antagonism and battles with them have been the most engaging and thrilling portions of my story.

While engaging with my villains, my life was many things, but never boring.  Without the engagement with my villains, my life would have been downright insipid.

*********************************

3 SHADOW PIECES THAT EMERGE FROM ELEVATING VICTIMHOOD OVER VILLAINY:

1.  Those who are determined to play the victims will manufacture villains out of others.

2.  Those who clearly are villains will camouflage themselves as victims.

3.  The sympathy and resources we reserve for victims attract lying parasites.

*********************************I am myself indifferent honest but yet I could accuse myself of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me. I am

www.OmRupani.org

COMING SOON - FREE MINI-COURSE : 

DOMINANT MAN + SUBMISSIVE WOMAN - A RELATIONSHIP PRIMER

As more men and women become curious about exploring a more polarized form of relating, the most common inquiry that is understandably coming my way these days is : ‘Well, how do we do this?’  How does one go about creating a polarized relationship dynamic and container?  What are the ingredients?  How does one cook this particular relationships dish?

In answer to this increasingly common inquiry, I’ve designed a mini-course on this topic and will be making it available for free on my platform at OmRupani.com.

More soon.

—Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

10 BDSM SKILLS THAT CAN INFORM ALL RELATIONSHIPS : 03 - LISTEN FOR THE DESIRE UNDERNEATH THE DESIRE

All people are lying all the time.

Men lie.

Women lie.

In my observation, women like more than men and better than men.

Why do we lie?

We lie to get our way.

We lie to avoid punishment.

We lie in order to look good and avoid looking bad.

I think women have a fourth reason for lying, which I think is their most common reason for lying.  I discuss that reason in this talk.

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To be a great Dom, get underneath the desires of your submissive.  Dig deeper.  Trace the origin of their desire. 

Track down what is underneath the desire.

Want to see your submissive more deeply.

Create a permission field where they might feel welcomed to reveal themselves more deeply.

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This same seeing is badly needed in vanilla man-woman relationships.

In great relationships, the two people remain interested in seeing each other.  They don’t accept surface level answers from each other.  They dig.  They want to know the other.

To be a stand for wanting more for our partner, first we have to have the desire to see them more deeply.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

IN-PERSON TRAININGS:

Tantra meets BDSM - 6 Day Retreat in Tulum, Mexico

The Modern Priestess Of Eros - Practitioner Training

ONLINE WORKSHOPS:

What Men Want : A Course For Women

Creating The Dominant Man

BDSM Fundamentals & Scene Play Training

www.OmRupani.org

10 BDSM SKILLS THAT CAN INFORM ALL RELATIONSHIPS : 02 - DON’T BORE YOUR SUBMISSIVE!

Boredom isn’t just a shallow thing.  Boredom is ultimately indicative of soul stagnation.

Boredom indicates to us that our journeys have stalled.

We are here seeking expansion.  We are here seeking experiences.  Our soul is on an arc.

Our Eros is no exception to his.  Our erotic journey and self-expression is also an expressive arc.

In a thriving Dom-sub dynamic, a great Dom understands this.  He does not have his eye on just creating a little bit of momentary stimulation for his submissive.  A great Dom has his eye on the soul journey of his submissive’s erotic expression.

What is that the submissive’s soul is seeking next?  What is her erotic expression longing for next?  Where is she stuck?  Where is she holding herself back?  Where can I facilitate her movement and expansion?

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In vanilla relationships as well, the women today are tremendously bored with their men.

Women feel men don’t really see them.  Men aren’t really curious about them.  Men don’t really understand women, let along being a stand for their soul expansion.

Both the submissive and the woman have a tremendous capacity for fun.

Both of them have a tremendous capacity for extracting fun out of both positive and negative experiences.  This is a very important and rich fact for Doms and men to keep in mind.  To take their women/submissive on a full ride, you need to be masterful at making use of both positive as well as negative experience to generate fun for them.

******************

In the work environment, the number 1 reason people quit their jobs and careers is not because they are not making enough money or they hate their bosses; it’s that most people are bored out of their fucking minds with their work and job and career.

People feel they are stagnating in their career.  People feel they are going to do die repeating this same day over and over, and that would be a tragic way to spend the rest of their life.

As a boss or an employer, keep an eye on creating challenges for your employees.  Give them new missions and new challenges.

As an employee, keep an eye on whether you are growing through your work.  You will live a more fulfilling life making less money at something that is challenging you rather than the opposite.

— Om Rupani

IN-PERSON TRAININGS:

Tantra meets BDSM - 6 Day Retreat in Tulum, Mexico

The Modern Priestess Of Eros - Practitioner Training

ONLINE WORKSHOPS:

What Men Want : A Course For Women

Creating The Dominant Man

BDSM Fundamentals & Scene Play Training

www.OmRupani.org

10 BDSM SKILLS THAT CAN INFORM ALL RELATIONSHIPS : 01 - CONTAIN YOUR SUBMISSIVE

People often ask whether BDSM principles and energetics can be applied to other relationships and dynamics.  I’ve heard too many bad answers to this inquiry.  I’ve decided to make my own series of conversations to talk about how the skills from a good and balanced D/s dynamic might be extrapolated to :

1.  Non-BDSM / Vanilla relationships.
2.  Work dynamics where there is a Employer/employee, Leader/follower dynamic.

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CONTAINMENT!

First and foremost, let’s start with the skill and mastery of Containment.

Containment is the first skill and energetics needed to make a D/s dynamic work.

Containment is what the Dom offers to their submissive at the beginning of every scene.

It’s in the giving and receiving of Containment between the Dom and the sub that their relationship is established.

It is the first skill and the most crucial skill that Doms needs to learn.

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VANILLA RELATIONSHIPS : Containment is needed in all personal relationships.  In all relationships, at least one of the two people should be able to offer great Containment to the other.

The polarity in a relationship is often established along the lines of which person is generally in greater need of Containment and which person is more easily able to offer Containment.

In a man-woman dynamic, almost without exception, men really need to step up and learn to offer great Containment to their women.

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WORK DYNAMIC : Good leaders offer good Containment to their followers.  Good bosses offer Containment to their employees.

When the leader walks into the room, the others should feel a sigh of relief.  They should feel more assured.  They should feel more held.

Feeling this way towards one’s leader inspires our follower-ship.  Receiving this Containment from our leader inspires us to trust them and to support them.

— Om Rupani

IN-PERSON TRAININGS:

Tantra meets BDSM - 6 Day Retreat in Tulum, Mexico

The Modern Priestess Of Eros - Practitioner Training

ONLINE WORKSHOPS:

What Men Want : A Course For Women

Creating The Dominant Man

BDSM Fundamentals & Scene Play Training

www.OmRupani.org

MEN SHOULD CARRY CATASTROPHE ON THEIR BACKS

Keeping an eye on our future can be very clarifying.

Whenever I see a man who seems lost in his life today, it is inevitably the case that he has lost his vision for the future that he is building.

Having a vision for our future helps us align our energies.  It gives correct direction to where we should be spending our efforts today.

It’s difficult to feel engaged with life without a vision for our future.

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Considering that the future is always going to be uncertain and unpredictable, how should we proceed with envisioning it?

My advice is — be pessimistic!  Don’t count on the future being as good or better than today.  Expect things to go wrong.  Expect disasters.  Have a negative temperament.  

Not being naive as a man is in part having this negative temperament.  Not being naive is knowing that disasters await us — that the people and things we can count on today, we may not be able to count on tomorrow.

Answer the uncertainty of future with pessimism.

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Keeping an eye on future catastrophes and doing one’s best to prepare for them — this is also a crucial dimension of leadership.

We expect our leaders to be future-oriented.  We are expecting that by following a particular leader, our future might turn out better than without that leader.

As a leader, accept this responsibility.  Whether you are a leader on a big scale, or just a leader in your family unit, those who are following you are looking to you to cover their future, to prepare for the disasters to come.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

MEN ARE NOT IN COMPETITION WITH EACH OTHER FOR WOMEN

There is a lot of talk these days about HYPERGAMY among men.

The basic idea so many men have accepted regarding how women operate with men, how women select men is that women go for the top guys.

The top 5% of men, or the top 10% or 20% of men get all the women.  The rest of the men are invisible to women.  The rest of the men are bound to be losers in the man-woman game.

There is some data in dating apps that supports this hypothesis.

I would like to challenge it.

I don’t think women pick men be comparing them to other men.  I don’t think women have any internal compass for only going for the ‘top’ guys.

I think a woman evaluates each man she encounters against her own system.  She evaluates him according to how he lands in her system.  She does not evaluate him in comparison to some other man.

For men to believe that all men are in competition with each other for women, and that only the top 20% of men are the victors in this game — this is a defeatist model.  And it is an erroneous model.

— Om Rupani

OmRupan.org

www.OmRupani.org

A GARDENER’S MINDSET FOR BETTER LOVE & EROS

A skilled gardener communes with each plant or tree he encounters.  He knows enough about plants to know how this particular plant is doing and how this plant might fair even better.

He can tell if this plant would do better in more or less light, with more or less water, planted on this side of the garden or that.

The good gardener contributes to each plant, tree or shrub he encounters.

The good physician essentially operates in the same Modus Operandi with the long list of patients he examines each day.

I propose that a similar way of operating in sensuality and in our love relationships might yield far better results for us.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

CONTAINMENT 05 - HOW WOMEN CAN RECEIVE THEIR MAN’S CONTAINMENT BETTER

Some women have been asking this questions after watching the previous videos I’ve put out on Containment.  These are some thoughts.

Om Rupani

— OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

THE CRUCIAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WOMEN WHO REPEATEDLY FAIL IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN, COMPARED TO THE ONE’S WHO SUCCEED. 

I believe the crucial difference between these two categories of women is the difference in one core belief they are carrying.

The life they lead and what they create with men is actually in logical harmony with this single core belief.

Without changing this core belief, it is impossible for women who actually do want to have successful partnerships with men to create them.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org 

www.OmRupani.org

PODCAST : WOMEN’S DISCONTENTMENT WILL END THE WORLD. 

TOPICS:

Challenges of Eros in long-term relationships.

The correct purpose of a long-term partnership.

Dropping birth rates.

Adversity as the source of meaning.

Accumulating experiences of betrayal in hook-up culture.

The chronic dissatisfaction of the modern woman.

Men want to make women happy; modern woman has vowed to not be happy.

For most women, submission is weakness.

Women’s submissions as men’s reward and fuel.

Ownership in relationships.

It’s not a man’s job to bring a woman into submission.

Attitude towards naysayers.

Women’s fantasies.

BDSM in long-term relationships.

Your Permission Field in a relationship.

Men’s path to dominance.

Real sexual mastery.

Casual sex vs. partnership.

Women’s sex and self-worth.

Women can’t submit to a man they don’t respect.

Money beliefs in family lineage.

Healthy dynamic between mother and son.

Masculinity in media.

Feminism’s efficiency in destroying man-woman relationships.

Relationship mastery as prerequisite to sexual connection.

Too many men these days are boring.

-- Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

BE OF USE IN ORDER TO HAVE ESTEEM

The idea of Self-Esteem is something that has become common knowledge.  We all think we know what it is.  There seems to be a general consensus that having high self-esteem is a good thing, and having low self-esteem is something that is regrettable and should be corrected.

I am not sure about any of this regarding Self-Esteem.  And yet, I believe self-esteem is a real enough internal and relational phenomenon that it should be thought about and addressed.

My proposition is that we build our esteem around the simple metric of being of use to others.

This seems to be easier to explain to men.  Somehow women’s self-esteem issues always seem to get more complicated.  But for men, it should be straightforward that they should build their esteem around what value they are bringing into this world and into the lives of others.

Even in their relations with women, men should ask, ‘How am I useful to women?’  If you are not having success with women, it’s because women are not seeing use in you.

Women evaluating men for their use is correct and fair.  Men should take any feedback they get from women regarding their value to them and course-correct to make themselves more attractive.

My advise to women regarding how they should go about creating success with men is the same : Create value for men.  Be of use to men.

But saying to women that they should be of use to men has become a very controversial matter these days.  Certainly, telling women that they should CHANGE and CORRECT themselves in order to be more useful and attractive to men is perhaps THE taboo proposition of our times.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org