Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Interviews in Polyamory and Swinging – Details, episodes & analysis

We always love when we get to bring guests back on the show for an update and today is definitely no exception! The last time we talked to these four was back in 2019 on Episode 71 and while so much has changed, the love between these four has only grown deeper. And it sure is a good thing because they all got matching tattoos pretty early on!

Over the last five years they've transitioned to a long distance relationship and then back to living in the same city, they've broken up and gotten back together, they've come out to family (sometimes accidentally), and they've navigated a global pandemic. Quad dynamics are notoriously challenging and today we get an incredibly vulnerable look at how these four have made it work and how they've all grown together, and as individuals, along the way.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! However... This month we have a special guest!

Today's questions are all about finances and money and we have an incredible author, coach, and fellow podcaster Laura Boyle joining us!

Laura just published her second book, "Monogamy? In This Economy?: Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory" and she's also the creator of readyforpolyamory.com where you can find more information about all of her fantastic work!

Quick note and disclaimer... Laura, Meshai, and myself (Fin) are NOT tax or finance professionals. Please talk to a financial professional, CPA, or similar about your specific financial situation.

If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!

We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!

Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.

Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

  Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Check out our weekly peer support groups!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt!

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Our conversation today with Kathy is so beautiful, full of energy, and powerful. She is a vibrant 49 year old bisexual proud mother of a newly minted teen and she has been "officially" exploring non-monogamy for the last few years. Yet, as you'll hear, Kathy has always been a bit rebellious and unconventional. She loves to play and experiment, and she lives life very intentionally.

Kathy is currently going through a "slow divorce" over the course of multiple years as she and her husband work together with a therapist to simultaneously heal and transition their partnership. During this process, their therapist has helped them both seek out what living authentically would look like... For Kathy, that meant finally exploring non-monogamy. She's always had a desire and preference for non-monogamy but put that desire aside to start a family under the assumption that it would happen sometime in the future. And now, the future is here and she's loving it!

As unconventional and rebellious as Kathy is, she's had to heal many parts of herself along her journey. It hasn't been easy, and she takes us through her powerful and inspiring life story with such levity and vulnerability. We hope you enjoy this interview as much as we did.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Maria is back! And! Steve is here with her for the first time and the conversation we have is beyond powerful. If you listened to Maria's first interview on Episode 239, you heard about how her infidelity was the catalyst for them to open their marriage. Today we have the rare opportunity to talk with both halves of a couple about their experiences facing, navigating, repairing, and healing from the breaking of trust and cheating.   We owe a ton of gratitude to both of them for how vulnerable and deep they go in this conversation. It's not just about cheating. It's about how they got to the point where cheating was even a consideration. It's about societal scripts and control. It's about undoing so much of what we have been told is the right way to do relationships. It's about how you can move forward in the face of adversity. It's also about chore lists... Listen and you'll see how something as simple as a chore list helped bring back the balance these two needed to not just repair, but to land in the best place they've ever been together.   A bit more about Maria from her personal bio: Maria Palumbo has her Master's of Social work. She began as a psychotherapist in community mental health. She studied trauma and its impact on creating an “eat your heart out” life and then took her findings and started her own business. She began creating programs that awaken the sex and heart. She is passionate about people owning the impact of trauma and creating a life of vitality and rich intimacy. Since beginning her business, Maria has helped hundreds of people (both virtually and in-person) realize that their vulnerability and truest turn on, makes them irresistible.    Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets!

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Kelli and Conner opened up their relationship pretty early on as a way for Kelli to explore her bisexuality. For the last few years they have been on an adventure together to find ways to get each of their needs and desires met, both as individuals and as a couple.   However! As they put it, it's about way more than just sex... These two were on an amazing journey of self-evolution before they came together, and now they're taking life on as a team. We have so many beautiful conversations around self-work, expectations, owning your shit, communication, and maybe a threesome or two. We also have a ton of gratitude for both of them for how honest and transparent they were about their experience with In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)... So powerful.   Kelli and Conner run a podcast production company called Soulfire Productions. The also each host their own podcast as well... Kelli's is called OK, Babe and Conner's is Politically Homeless. Go check out all their work and send them some love!   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets!

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This conversation is so much fun! So much! Eve opens this interview by saying "I'm a woman who does a lot... That means work-wise, and people-wise!" She is such a delight to talk to and our conversation is full of laughs that also weave in some beautiful and important lessons Eve has learned along her journey.   Eve has been in open relationships since pretty much her first adult relationship. How those relationships have looked has evolved over time as she has grown and learned more about herself. We have some incredible conversations about her personal growth, jealousy, transitioning relationships, and so much more... Eve also shares some absolutely hilarious stories with us from her various jobs over the years that are sex work-adjacent.   Eve is also the co-creator of The Secret Circus cabaret show that has expanded from the UK to LA! Definitely go check it out!   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets!

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  In case you haven't listened to Episode 145... Here's the super short version, but you'll want to go back and get all the amazing details for yourself... Rah and Tom are wonderful humans who are married. A few years back, another wonderful human danced onto the scene, enter Mel. The three of them forged an incredible bond and throuple relationship. Again, there's so much more to it. But, that brings us to where this episode starts.   So what's changed? Well, they're still wonderful humans. Rah and Tom made a new human. They've all developed new relationships. The throuple is still a throuple, but the polycule has roughly doubled in size since we last spoke. Of course, it's been a flawless transition and they didn't have any learning or growing to do along the way. Or did they? Only one way to find out.     Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets!

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This conversation is incredibly powerful in so many ways! Elizabeth is in her early thirties and has been exploring ethical non-monogamy for over a decade. Things got off to a bit of an unethical start during college but she quickly decided to just take ownership of her wants and who she was. She didn't have any language for what she was doing or wanting but that didn't stop her from blazing her own trail. As she puts it... She sort of "wrecking balled" her way through polyamory for a bit.   The way she has approached non-monogamy over the course of her journey has evolved, but she has always shown up with as much integrity and transparency as possible. She shares with us in a deeply honest and transparent way about her struggles, her flaws, and her (hilarious) bloopers. At the same time, she balances it with the incredible amount of love and support she has surrounding her from partners, family, and friends. What's amazing to us about this conversation is how powerful it is, while at the same time, we laughed our way through the entire thing.   Elizabeth is also a relationship coach, primarily working with people in the polyamorous and queer communities... Her website bio hardly does her work justice, but it's better than we could write. So, here is a bit more about Elizabeth in her own words.   Love, Relationships, and Sexuality have always been something that Elizabeth has been passionate about. Ever since she was a kid she has been curious about how love, relationships and sexuality shape people’s lives. Especially, growing up in the Midwest where sexuality is not as talked about, she began asking herself and others questions that people had not been asked before about their sexuality and relationships. ​ She followed this passion and went to college at the University of Kansas where she earned two Bachelor’s Degrees; Political Science and Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies with an emphasis in Religion and a Certificate in Service Learning.   After college, she worked as a volunteer in Community and Outreach for the Willow Domestic Violence Center. There she co-started the SAFE Initiative, where her and a team went into the community and talk to kids ages 5 - 18 about self-esteem, bullying, healthy relationships, self-love, the power of language and more. She also lead and created trainings for other volunteers on privilege, What is Domestic Violence?, How to Recognize an abuser and Being Sensitive to Sexuality. During the three years at the Willow Domestic Violence Center she lead and created talks, lectures and discussions to people ranging from the ages of 5 years old to 85 years old.   Elizabeth moved to Seattle, Washington, in 2014. She realized that her work at the domestic violence center was important but ultimately not what she wanted to be doing. In the words of Mother Theresa, Gandhi, MLK and the like, what you speak into the world is what exists. She decided she wanted to be on the side of love and relationships where she was speaking love into the world. She wanted to make a difference with people before they came to a domestic violence center. In essence, she wants to put these centers out of business.   One of the biggest takeaways from college and her experiences lead her to believe that when people are empowered, the world works. So began her journey of self-growth and development. Using herself as her own guinea pig she began to learn as much about why humans make the decisions that they do.   In her journey discovering why people make the decisions that they do, why she has made the decisions she has made, she began coaching others. Organically, it grew into a coaching business. Over the years, Elizabeth has helped people discover where their mindset is limiting their potential in love and in life. It is her true calling to witness others transform their relationships to themselves and show up for others in the ways that they have always wanted to. It is who she is, what she stands for and it is her mission in life to expand the conversation of love in the world.   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets!

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Wendy Strgar is an author and an award-winning social entrepreneur and the founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, a pioneer in the organic personal care product industry. Wendy started Good Clean Love in her kitchen almost 20 years ago and has since grown it into a multimillion dollar, certified B-Corporation. Wendy’s mission in life is to increase the quality and quantity of healthy, loving, relationships in the world. Married for over 34 years, her daily life has always been the laboratory for her work.   We cover a ton of different topics in this fantastic conversation with her. She talks about the inspiration behind starting Good Clean Love, how she's managed to nurture a 34+ year marriage, the importance of cultivating a fulfilling sex life for yourself, taking care of your sexual health, and advice for tapping into your sexual self... She also shares a lot of her personal stories and relationship journey as well.   As you can imagine... ALL of these pieces of her life are very interlinked and tied to what Good Clean Love stands for. It's an incredible conversation and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did!   In addition to serving as Good Clean Love’s CEO, Wendy is a popular blogger, host of the renowned Dear Sex Podcast and author of two books. Sex That Works: An Intimate Guide To Awakening Your Erotic Life and Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy. A sexual health educator and loveologist, Wendy is the featured writer at the award-winning blog, Making Love Sustainable. Her writing has been featured on Eco Salon, Care2, The Huffington Post and Elephant Journal, among many others.   To save 10% off your order at Good Clean Love, use the offer code EMMA at check out!   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets!

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This conversation with Rainey and Paco is incredible. We laugh, we cry, we laugh some more... Don't skip this one.   These two have been together for about six years, nesting together for two, and recently got married just a few months ago! A few years back, they decided to open their relationship and it's evolved over the years. Their particularly flavor of ethical non-monogamy falls somewhere between swinging and polyamory. It's not a clearly defined boundary but one thing is clear... "It's not JUST sex!"   They come from two very different backgrounds. They've both been married once before. Paco is Puerto Rican and has been breaking away from the "Latin Machismo" and rewriting what it means to be himself. Rainey comes from a very conservative religious background and is coming out of an abusive marriage.   They talk through how they've worked together to overcome jealousy, fears, and so much more to land in the best relationship they've ever had and are more themselves than they've ever been!   Check out the full show notes here.   Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets!

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https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/