MS and SEX – Details, episodes & analysis

Implicit bias is a fancy way of saying "having an attitude about something or someone because they are unfamiliar".  In this episode, you'll get a better grasp of the concept and we'll meet one of the researchers who helped develop the very first kink implicit bias scale for mental healthcare practitioners. Dr. Vanessa Brown talks about the kink bias that some patients face from mental healthcare workers. She also addresses the lack of support that those practitioners face as they strive to provide good mental healthcare. When we are confronted with the unknown, we automatically feel suspicious; this is a protective behavior that all creatures have developed over time. As humans, we get to choose if we want to use our substantial cerebrum to make a different choice. This research team came up with the first implicit bias scale to help these practitioners identify their biases around the topic of kink so that they can change their reactions if they so choose.  Their scale will be publicly available soon and I'll post a link when it is. Until then, here is a helpful link to "Kink Guidelines: Clinical Best Practices". As a patient, you can see that you have a right to expect complete acceptance of your choices and as a practitioner, you'll find helpful information about how to assist your clients who practice or want to practice consensual kink.  Here is a link to the Kink Aware Professionals list. On October 28th at 5:00 PM Pacific Time, Dr. Brown, Lexi Gird, and other research team members will join us for a live Q&A to discuss their work. I encourage you to join us if you are a patient, a healthcare practitioner, a sex educator, or a researcher.  This is going to be a fantastic panel! Here is the LINK, and the passcode is 219308.

First, I had to migrate to another podcast host so forgive any glitches as I learn the new platform. Ugh. We may not have a movie star body or the sex drive of a twenty-year-old but WE get to decide what sensuality and sexuality means to us in any given moment. This month on the podcast I talk about a tool we can use to quiet our minds and return to the sensations of the body. Focusing on your own experience of sensation is not the same as being selfish. It is a powerful tool that can ultimately lead to greater connection. This month I’m thinking a lot about empowerment. Chronic conditions can rob us of confidence and self- worth professionally, personally, and sexually. Those demons arise internally and externally. It’s hard to feel like a badass when fatigue has nailed you to the floor. It’s a struggle to feel sexy when you live in a culture that cringes at your presence or simply looks past you in a search for something else to focus on, some vision that doesn’t remind them of the frailty of life as a bent or struggling body does. I’m bombarded with those internal and external negative messages too. I can only encourage you to seek out those who uplift you and see you not as a weakened body hobbling along but as a person with battle scars that have made you stronger, yet filled you with humility and compassion for those that don’t fit the “normal” mold. The fact is that normal is an irrelevant concept when it comes to bodies and sexuality. Alfred Kinsey conducted massive quantitative research in the mid 1900’s; one of his greatest contributions was proving that there is no “normal.” Their data concluded that up to 25% of people are at the “extreme ends” of sexual behavior. ((Extreme being anything that isn’t PIV Sex) One can’t just count the middle 50% as “normal” when there is another 50% that is one extreme or the other. Duh. So, flush that idea of normal down the toilet like it’s a memo from the Trump administration. Listen to this episode and join us on September 20th at 5 PM pacific time for a live Q&A. You can ask questions, share your thoughts and experiences about the “touching for interest” exercise, and we can try out the “three minute game”. Here are a couple of resources to find Sex therapists or counselors, AASECT: https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory. NCSF KAP list: https://www.kapprofessionals.org/kap_directory/13575/kink-affirmative-therapist-4/ I used this book as a reference for much of the content: https://www.draveryclark.com/sensate-focus-sex-therapy-illustrated-manual/

We talk about how traumatic memories are formed and most importantly, how you can rewire your brain so that this past adverse experiences lose their grip on your life.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Awareness is important because acknowledgment of the problem is the first step on the path to change. Surprisingly, this topic does tie into multiple sclerosis.

Female Bodies can have erectile dysfunction too! This topic has been a bit frustrating for me. True true, I loved reading about the anatomy, innervation, and vasculature of the clitoris. Perhaps more than a normal person would. But when it came down to looking into established medical solutions for MS-related sexual dysfunction in female-bodied people I ran into dead ends and got a lot of helpless shrugging. But there are solutions and I talk about them in this episode. I promise to keep looking for more and this is an ongoing topic.

In today's episode, I talk about the History of the Anatomy of the Clitoris and why it matters. The topic is packed with information, comical, and dark all at the same time. Then at about 17:00 minutes into the program, I give you a rapid-fire, super-condensed, summary of the innervation of the female genitals. I do this so that you can have some basic knowledge before I come back with some answers from my interview with Dr. Claire Yang.

I talk with the author of "ADHD After Dark: Better Sex, Better Relationships" about how problems with focus and ADHD can affect our sexual well-being. And we cover solutions!

I talk with the author of "ADHD After Dark: Better Sex, Better Relationships" about how problems with focus and ADHD can affect our sexual well-being. And we cover solutions!

Cognitive issues are a real thing with MS. This month we talk about how this can affect your sexual health. In this bonus episode, we are talking about some of the causes of cognitive decline and then we cover a few things we can do to combat this devastating symptom. There are solutions! 1) Reducing stress with mindfulness, meditation, and getting enough sleep. 2) Nutrition 3) Exercise (a good hard workout can actually make your hippocampus increase in size!) I recommend checking out The MS Gym. He offers exercise videos designed just for folks with MS. 4) Cognitive Stimulation 5) Socialization After you listen to this episode and have an idea of the physiological causes behind cognitive decline, tune back in on the 15th to hear my conversation with Dr. Ari Tuckman who is the Author of ADHD after dark. Join us on February 8th at 5 PM pacific time for a FREE presentation on the basics of how MS affects sexual health. www.MSexualHealth Here are a few resources I promised: · Why the Brain uses so much Energy · The Shrinking Hippocampus · Cortisol Research · Research that backs up the benefits of masturbation before bed!

I'm grateful to writers and researchers like Dr. Sarah Rainey Smithback because their words expose me to new perspectives and challenge me to rethink my perception of reality. I had a dramatic lightbulb moment about surrendering to vulnerability while reading "The Pleasures of Care: Love, Sex, and disability". In this bonus episode, I talk about one section in the book that spurred this revelation. You'll also hear a conversation between my partner Susan and me; we talk about a wheelchair conflict we had several years ago. It's a discussion about shame, resistance, and control. We're all a work in progress; all we can do is take steps every day to challenge ourselves and enrich our relationships. Vulnerability is scary for everyone but braving this emotion makes you a superhero in your own story. Be sure to join us for a live Q&A with Dr. Sarah on January 20th at 5:00 PM Pacific Time. Go to www.MSexualHealth/podcast.com to reserve your spot in the conversation. Or sign up on my calendar to get a link to the event. Here are some resources: Dr. Sarah Rainey Smithback Website Resources and Support through the National MS Society And finally, as promised, here is a link to Gillian's website. She worked magic with my new website; if you need web work done, contact her. Do it! She's fantastic.