Make More Love Not War – Details, episodes & analysis

Center For Relationship Wellness

Drs. Don & Carrie Cole

The Center for Relationship Wellness, founded by Drs. Don Cole and Carrie Cole, offers an approach to marital therapy that is based on the 40+ years of scientific research of Dr. John Gottman, recently voted as one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by Psychotherapy Networker. Don Cole and Carrie Cole are both frequent contributors to media articles on relationships.Most couples struggle with some problems in their relationships at some point. Oftentimes they are able to work through them, but sometimes they need outside help to manage their differences.Many of us find it hard to take the first step to seek out guidance for lots of reasons. People want to believe they can solve their own problems. After all, we are intelligent human beings. And many have heard horror stories about marriage counseling gone terribly wrong. No one wants to expose themselves psychologically only to be criticized or told that they are wrong. After struggling with those anxieties, how does one go about choosing a therapist for marriage counseling?Certified by The Gottman Institute, Don and Carrie offer a practical approach that teaches couples how to build marital intimacy, renew respect for one another, and develop problem-solving skills to manage conflict.


Don ColeD.Min, LPC, LMFT

Dr. Don Cole is the Clinical Director for The Gottman Institute and a licensed mental health counselor in the state of Washington. As a Certified Gottman Method Couples’ Therapist and a member of the Gottman Relationship Institute and an advanced trainer in Gottman Method Therapy, he teaches all levels of the Gottman Method Certification Program.He received his doctorate in ministry with a specialization in psychotherapy from Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in 1993. He has more than 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples in various capacities including marital therapy, affair recovery, depression, anxiety, trauma recovery, parenting, and personality disorders.

Carrie ColePh.D., M.Ed., LPC

Dr. Carrie Cole is the Director of Research for The Gottman Institute and a licensed mental health counselor in the state of Washington. As a Certified Gottman Method Couples’ Therapist and an advanced trainer in Gottman Method Therapy, she teaches all levels of the Gottman Method Certification Program.She is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Texas and an approved LPC Supervisor. She received her Master’s degree in Educational Psychology with a specialization in Counseling Psychology from the University of Texas at Austin in 1994. She received her PhD in psychology from Capella University.She has more than 25 years of experience working with individuals and couples on a wide range of issues including marital therapy, affair recovery, depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, eating disorders, parenting, trauma recovery, divorce recovery, and personality disorders. Carrie has also provided seminars on relationships, parenting and divorce recovery.

The Shameless Sexual Revolution can only be liberated and spread if we escape the oppressive ideology of the past that has been allowed to corrode the deep passion that lies in all women for the explicit objective to advance a morality that holds NO validity today, yesterday or of anytime in the history of all mankind. We, women of the world, together shall forge a new path –NOT because we are weak alone - but because we are stronger as a single sharp point of power with one mind, one body and one soul channeling a revolutionary vision of our design and our values. Are you willing to wait for a better tomorrow to magically appear without sharing in the struggle we all know is required to generate any change in this world? We, SHAMELESS REBELS, are NOT going to wait one more day.

The Shameless Sexual Revolution can only be liberated and spread if we escape the oppressive ideology of the past that has been allowed to corrode the deep passion that lies in all women for the explicit objective to advance a morality that holds NO validity today, yesterday or of anytime in the history of all mankind. We, women of the world, together shall forge a new path –NOT because we are weak alone - but because we are stronger as a single sharp point of power with one mind, one body and one soul channeling a revolutionary vision of our design and our values. Are you willing to wait for a better tomorrow to magically appear without sharing in the struggle we all know is required to generate any change in this world? We, SHAMELESS REBELS, are NOT going to wait one more day.

https://www.soniamarienutrition.com

When you hear the word meditation, an image of a wise old monk setting on top of a mountain with his legs crossed, back straight, eyes closed, hands resting on his knees with the index and thumb touching might pop into your head. He’s in some kind of magical trance that takes years of training to control the mind well enough to achieve. Many of us in our go go go modern world often feel like we are missing out on something if we are not meditating three hours a day or at the very least being mindful and present in our body and mind. We want to feel connected but we don’t know how.

You may be thinking….ok Terah, I want to start meditating but what’s the best for me. There are so many different types of meditation practices out there Zen Meditation, Guided Meditation, Mindfulness Meditation, Mantra Meditation, Transcendental Meditation, Yoga Meditation, Third Eye Meditation, Tantra Meditation, Sound Meditation, Taoist Meditation, and much more. Those all sound great but I’m not really sure what’s different about all of them. However, I have one that is much different than all of these. It’s called Orgasmic Meditation….that got your attention, and yes, you heard me right….Orgasmic Meditation. This is far from a monk meditating in silent on a rocky mountain top. More like screaming in extreme pleasure on top of a mountain of fluffy pillows.

Our guest today, Stefania Brandner is the owner of Rewild Coaching where she works with women who are fed up with their routines and want to embrace their inner wildness. She practices virtual Orgasmic Meditation training to help women be more in touch with their body and sexuality. Since it is virtual (meaning it is on Skype), clients will be in the comfort of their own house as Stefania guides them to optimize their Orgasmic Meditation practice. She provides relevant information regarding the technique, tailored exercises and how to maximize sensations to the women participating and allows these women the space to benefit from the experience without any expectations. Stefania transports women out of their unfulfilling sexual history into a future full of open and connected sexual adventures that prioritize their pleasure with the respect it deserves. Sound interesting? Want to learn more about how Orgasmic Meditation actually works from Stefania herself? Me too!

Website: https://www.rewildcoaching.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/RewildCoaching

“Domination's the name of the game in bed or in life, They're both just the same, Except in one you're fulfilled at the end of the day, Let's play master and servant”.

This is how Depeche Mode described what is now called “Kink” in their hit song “Master And Servant”. When I first heard this song as a teenager, I had no idea what they were talking about. I just thought it was a cool song from one of my favorite bands and to be completely open at the time making out with a boy was as far as I could even think about. Now I understand what they are talking about but like many of us I don’t know the deep down value of this play. What draws someone to dominating another person in bed or even better why would someone want to be dominated? Is this just fun couple’s play or is there something about it that being treated like a dog helps balance a person out? Like many of you I’m curious to learn more; to answer these questions and more we interviewed “The Supernova of Kink” from San Francisco. With a title like that we should get to the bottom of this matter…..then SPANK the hell out of it!

Our guest today, Midori “The Supernova of Kink” is a renowned educator and writer on sexuality that emerged from the Sex Positive Movement in San Francisco in the early 1990’s.
Midori is known for tackling challenging topics with fresh and relevant insights which calls on her “head-heart-hands” method to create a space where people are allowed individual self-exploration. Fundamentally she is motivated by helping people to create authentic and intimate relationships while emphasizing self-actualization, shame reduction, acceptance, and justice.
Her writing is extensive, ranging from numerous articles, columns, works of fiction, to instructional books. She is the author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, Wild Side Sex, and Master Han's Daughter. She leads transformative small group intensives, including ForteFemme: Women’s Dominance Weekend Intensive, Rope Dojo ®, and The Wanted Man intensive.

When she's not traveling and teaching, she's creating provocative and haunting art and performances.

Social Media

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PlanetMidori/
Twitter: @PlanetMidori (https://twitter.com/planetmidori)
Instagram: @PlanetMidori (https://www.instagram.com/planetmidori/)
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/PlanetMidori

Websites

http://www.FHP-inc.com
http://www.ForteFemme.com
http://www.RopeDojo.com
http://WMintensive.com

When most people talk about evolutionary psychology they will give the example of a caveman in the wilderness that hears a rustle in the bushes. This caveman from 1 million years ago can think it is just the wind or a lion that’s about to eat him. Without knowing this caveman will have three ways to react; fight, flight or freeze. Even though we are now modern super sophisticated homosapiens that never come across a lion in our iphone and internet world we still have the same reaction as our million year old caveman ancestors when something unexpected happens. It may not be a lion but a surprise email from our boss’s boss can strike fear to our core when we don’t know if we are getting a promotion or fired. We will have the same fight, flight or freeze reaction as our caveman ancestor. You may see the email; freeze and think of what this surprise email is all about. Or you could run away from it and refuse to open it. Or you could get all worked up and be ready to argue a point you don’t even know what it is yet. Evolutionary psychology is a hybrid discipline that draws insights from modern evolutionary theory, biology, cognitive psychology, anthropology, economics, computer science, and paleoarchaeology.

Our guest today, Todd Shackelford, Ph.D. is distinguished Professor and Chair of Psychology at Oakland University and Co-Director of the Evolutionary Psychology Lab. The focus of the Evolutionary Psychology Lab is on the psychology of close relationships, particularly romantic relationships. They study phenomena such as jealousy, infidelity, relationship satisfaction, physical abuse, and sexuality. Current research projects include a diary study of conflict within married couples, and a study of couples involved in violent relationships. Another line of work addresses murder and violence, particularly in romantic relationships, using national crime data.

Todd does a great job of helping us all understand ourselves better and how to use this to have a better relationship with others.

https://www.toddkshackelford.com/

https://www.springer.com/us/book/9783319196497

At the end of the movie “Schindler’s List”, Oskar Schindler met with the 1,200 Jewish workers he forged identification papers for and bribed Nazi officers into releasing from the concentration camp Auschwitz to work in his Nazi ammunition factory to declare they were all free to go. During this very emotional scene, Schindler is saying good-bye to his good and trusted friend that was the financial manager of the plant. As Schindler stands there with a gold Nazi swastika medallion on the label of his suit, his friend hands him a letter signed by everyone and a ring. Written on the ring was a message from the Talmud that said, “Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.” As Schindler slowly puts on this priceless ring he looks over the sea of faces he saved and begins to feel regret for not doing more. He questions why he kept his car because that could’ve saved 10 people and the gold Nazi medallion could’ve saved one person. Schindler entered the war as a wealthy industrialist; by the end, he was bankrupt. The real Oskar Schindler is the only member of the Nazi party to be buried on Mount Zion in Jerusalem.

Our guest today, Ari Sytner is a man that embodies the Talmud saying on Schindler’s ring. He went above and beyond the normal gift of kindness many of us pat ourselves on the back for doing. Ari gave a perfect stranger the gift of life by donating one of his kidneys. That’s right….he gave a kidney to a single mother of three children that would’ve died without it. I know what you’re thinking; why in the world would he do this? Ari’s answer to this question would be much different before and after the experience. Before the donation he was a very risk adverse person that would’ve had a difficult time quantifying the value of this very risky endeavor for an unknown reward. After the donation he was filled with so much joy, pride, meaning and love that he wishes he had more kidneys to give; much like Schindler wished he would’ve sold everything to help more Jews live. Ari experienced the powerful impact of what saving one life really means and he carries this spirit into the intense couples therapy he does to save relationships now.

Ari is a rabbi, social worker, therapist, inspirational speaker, Huffington Post contributor, blogger, CEO, organizational strategist, consultant and author of the book “The Kidney Donor’s Journey: 100 Questions I Asked Before Donating My Kidney”. Ari is an inspiration and is the change he wants to see in the world. Sit back and enjoy this fantastic interview with Ari Sytner as he takes us on an emotional roller coaster

When you hear the term “Pick Up Artist” you may picture a cheesy guy telling embarrassingly bad lines to a girl like….”Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?” Or “If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.” Or even more ridiculous “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see!” I’m pretty sure that these so-called “Pick Up Lines” never actually picked anyone up. Best case they got a laugh but most likely they were dealt an EPIC eye roll from the extremely unimpressed lady that had the misfortune to hear them. I’m not even sure if this caricature of a pick up artist ever really existed, but I do know that the modern Pick Up Artist community does exist and it does have trainable methods that can help men get out of their houses and start approaching real women in the real world with more confidence. Guys like Rolling Stones writer, Neil Strauss, popularized this underground community in his bestselling book “The Game”. “Neil Strauss was a High School Loser, Never Made it with the Ladies, Till the boys told him something he missed.” Wait a second….was that the lyrics from the Aerosmith song “Walk This Way”? Never the less….Neil was not good with the ladies and the Pick Up Artist community taught him how. He actually became one of the best in the world at picking up women. He then started going around the country to spread the gospel of picking up women.

Our guest today, Harris O’Malley aka Dr. NerdLove, participated in one of Neil Strauss’s Pick Up Artist seminars to learn how to be better with women. This completely changed his life. He became more confident which allowed him to be his true self. The Pick Up Artist community was a jumping off point for him but not the end. He became a master at picking up women but having a long lasting meaningful relationship was still very illusive. He walked away from the Pick Up Artist world and developed the skills to have a real relationship. Today he has it all and he shares the skills he fought hard to learn though his books, podcast, articles, website and private coaching. His podcast Paging Dr. NerdLove is a must for any man trying to understand women better….let’s be honest that’s every guy. Just listen to these great titles from the Paging Dr. NerdLove podcasts “What Men Get Wrong About Women”, “What’s the line Between Flirting And Harassment?”, “The 5 Texting Mistakes That Cost You Dates”, “This is What Makes You Creepy”. How much to you want to listen to these shows? Dr. NerdLove has an amazing ability to deliver his message. He’s a cross between Howard Stern’s blunt honestly, Robin William’s ultra fast and sharp comedic mind, and Dr. Ruth’s straight forward sex talk. You’ll be laughing your butt off as you’re learning important dating and relationship skills. Before you turn off our podcast and go check out Paging Dr. NerdLove, listen to this awesome interview with the Doctor himself right now.

Website: www.doctornerdlove.com

Life has a funny way of putting obstacles in our path that seem impossible but end up being the best thing that has ever happened to us. Marcus Aurelius the great Roman Philosopher Emperor wrote, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” A famous parable called “The King and the Boulder” also illustrates this point

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.

Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.
After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand.

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Our guest today Olga Szakal is a living example of this willingness to make obstacles in her way.…well…..her BITCH! Calling her a fighter is an understatement. She grew up in the 1980s Soviet Union specifically Siberia where it’s so cold and desolate in places that some of Stalin’s prison camps didn’t even have walls because no one could survive outside the camp. Siberia has a highway called “Road of Bones” because so many forced laborers from these prison camps died building it that they used their bones in the foundation of the road. How crazy is that? In the Soviet Union, anything money related like profits were prohibited and even ILLEGAL. This did not stop Olga when she was teenager. She sold blue jeans and female products on the Black Market to make money to survive. This is a much different experience than what I had in the 1980’s. Olga had to go to the black market to buy Levis and tampons. I went to the Mall and Target.

She got out of the Soviet Union with a scholarship to an American college. She built an all American life, married with four kids and like many American marriages she went through a painful divorce. Did this stop her? Hell NO! She built a real estate empire that has made her a millionaire. Now she wants to help women Make Mid-Life SEXY. She is the author of “The Mid-Life Crisis Awakening, How To Rise Up and Become The Woman You Were Always Meant To Be”. She is also the co-host of a weekly Mommy Talk Live Show on the brand new Facebook TV Channel. She is an amazing woman with so much wisdom to share!

Free book www.themidlifecrisisbook.com

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/olgaszakal

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/olgaszakal/ https://www.instagram.com/theagelessgeneration/

Twitter https://twitter.com/OlgaSzakal

Website: www.agelessgeneration.com

www.HowToChutzpah.com

www.themidlifecrisisbook.com

https://www.facebook.com/MommyTalkLive

Why are so many smart successful women still single? They have it all….great job, beautiful house, amazing friends but their romantic life is either non-existent or it’s so bad that calling it a train wreck would be an upgrade. So what’s the deal? Modern men claim they want smart, successful and independent women…but do they really? The lab data and the real world practice are not adding up. It appears that women winning in life is some kind of repellent to men. What’s a smart modern woman to do now? Throw on the apron and become the 1950’s TV wife or just keep winning and telling yourself “I don’t need a man to be happy. I have my vibrator and endless batteries”? Lucky for you…you don’t have to settle for either.

Our guest today, Jenna Birch, authored the book “The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love”. The Love Gap is a guide for modern women to have it all. She lays out the four key profiles women encounter dating while offering a complete plan for building modern relationships that take into account these tricky new gender dynamics. If you are a smart woman that is wondering why you are still single, you need to read “The Love Gap” RIGHT NOW! Wait wait wait… wait a second…. FIRST….listen to our awesome podcast with Jenna Birch….then immediately after…go get “The Love Gap” and turn your love life around. But don’t throw away your vibrator...no reason to punish a trusted and loyal soldier.

Links:

Website: http://www.jennabirch.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jennabirch

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennalbirch/

Hachette: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/jenna-birch/the-love-gap/9781478920045/?lens=grand-central-life-style

Plum app: http://plumdating.com