Kink, Intimacy, and Cannabis Lounge – Details, episodes & analysis

Join us in this candid and heartfelt episode as we sit down with Horror Daddy J to explore his journey through kink, sexuality, and self-discovery. Growing up with early exposure to his father's porn stash, he’s always been attuned to his desires.  Raised in a conservative, Christian environment, he reflects on how education and experience have helped him embrace a vibrant, rainbow-colored view of sexuality and love.  He shares practical advice like asking specific safety questions and taking classes to better understand the risks involved.

We share our love story, from a mysterious Facebook friend request, long-distance connection, and first in-person meeting at a kink event. With stories of memorable scenes: fire play, impact play, and more, he dispels the myths often glamorized by media, reminding listeners that BDSM requires knowledge, respect, and consent. Talking openly about his own late-diagnosis of autism, Horror Daddy J details how he feels embraced for his true self within the kink community. An advocate for self-love and authenticity, he encourages listeners to reject societal expectations of the “perfect” life and instead embrace their true desires. Additionally, he shares how cannabis has become an essential tool for reducing anxiety, managing pain, and enhancing intimacy. Wrapping up, the conversation touches on personal growth, mental health, and creative pursuits . 

Key Topics Covered:

• How we met and managed long distance
• Early influences on sexuality and desire
• Diversity and inclusion within the kink community
• Navigating neurodivergence, masking, and sensory needs
• Memorable kink scenes: fire play, impact, urethral sounding, and more
• Aftercare practices: cuddles, debriefs, and cannabis use
• Myths about cannabis and its benefits for stress and intimacy
• Challenging societal expectations and embracing authentic self-expression
• Designing custom BDSM gear and exploring creative kink pursuits

Calls to action:

• Visit KIC's website: https://kicloungepodcast.wixsite.com/kicloungepodcast
• Free Discord community: https://discord.com/invite/unefDQQKyj
• Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge
• Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast
• Miss Mackenzee Website: https://www.MissMackenzee.com 
• BDSM and Intimacy University: https://www.bdsmandintimacyuniversity.com
• Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/missmackenzeeagain
• Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee 
• Parker Leigh Website: https://www.parkerleigh.wixsite.com/parkerleigh
• Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/ParkerLeigh_
• Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parkerxleigh
• Horror Daddy J Website: https://horrordaddyj.wixsite.com/horrordaddyj/home
• Horror Daddy J Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/horror.daddy.j
• Horror Daddy J Twitter: https://x.com/HorrorDaddyJ

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Trigger warnings: Trauma and self harm

What happens when past trauma transforms into empowered pleasure? In this deeply moving conversation with Talis, founder of Beyond Taboo, we explore the complex journey from self-harm to healing through consensual BDSM practices.

Talis brings a unique perspective as both a dominant who wears a collar and a clinical sexology student with a psychology background. They share their evolution in kink, from problematic beginnings at 18 to becoming an educator passionate about consent and community safety. "We put ourselves in very vulnerable positions, doing things that normal people can get into legal trouble for," Talis explains, highlighting why accountability matters so deeply in kink spaces.

The conversation takes a powerful turn when we discuss blood play as trauma recovery. Talis eloquently describes how practices once associated with self-harm can be reclaimed through consensual play: "Blood doesn't have to mean harm anymore. It can mean connection, control, devotion, beauty, and erotic power." We explore the neurochemistry behind these experiences and how they provide healing for neurodivergent individuals specifically.

For those new to kink, Talis offers practical advice about attending munches, researching consent models, and finding supportive community members. We also discuss creating more inclusive play spaces with sensory considerations and crisis support protocols, recognizing that accessibility means different things to different bodies and minds.

Talis’s bio:

They are a “neuro-spicy” disabled veteran with a B.S. in Psychology and over a decade in the kink community, with an emphasis on healing trauma through responsible practice of BDSM, Talis brings a unique perspective, commitment to continuous learning, and passion to their work. Currently offering consulting and mentorship services, Talis is a Sex Coach/Clinical Sexologist in Training under Dr. Patti Britton’s method. They are a research volunteer for TASHRA under Dr. Richard Sprott, a pioneer of the scientific world in destigmatizing kink and educating about its benefits. 

Key Topics:

• How Talis identifies within the BDSM community
• Pressures of being a kink educator
• Why neurospicy folks are drawn to this lifestyle
• Play frenzy and tips for managing it
• What makes a great kinky party
• How to make dungeons more inclusive and accessible
• Funniest story from an event
• Sharing of blood play fantasies and hopes for future scenes
• Advice we wish we had when we started engaging with sharps
• Transforming trauma into positive experiences

Calls to action: 

● Be sure to leave a review 

● Visit our website: https://kicloungepodcast.wixsite.com/kicloungepodcast
● Free Discord community: https://discord.gg/https://discord.gg/unefDQQKyj

● Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge

● Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast

● Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee 

● Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/missmackenzeeagain

● Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissParkerLeigh

● Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parkerxleigh

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And we’re back! Thank you all for your patience during our hiatus. Our recording computer broke and we had to wait for the new one. Our regular weekly programming can continue and this week we have an amazing and fun show for you. Reba the Diva joined us in the Lounge for some great conversation. She fills us in on how she went from working in nonprofit to the vast world of sexuality and sex education. There’s so much passion when Reba talks about the work she does and it is something that the Ganja Goddesses feel in their own work too. She shares with us a bit about her work with grassroots campaigns for legalization in DC and how cannabis is used in the oppression of black and brown folks. The three of us were very eager to talk more about sex and cannabis and how to really embrace the whole plant to aid in more pleasurable experiences. Reba talks about her favorite thing to host online and all the fun details of what that entails. This episode is a great way to kick things back off after our brief break, you don’t want to miss it!

Reba Corrine Thomas is a pleasure-positive sex educator and CEO of Sexpert Consultants, a company geared toward bridging the gap in adult sexual health education through engaging workshops, online courses and events.

Key topics:

● The politicization of cannabis and its effects on the BIPOC communities
● Using cannabis to get your mind and body in a better place for sexual experiences
● Sexpert Consultants and the important work they do
● Platonic intimacy: what is it and why is it important?
● The current racial climate and how people can be better allies for BIPOC folks

Resources:

● https://www.rebathediva.com
● https://wwwtwitter.com/rebathediva
● https://www.instagram.com/rebathediva
● https://www.sexpertconsultants.com
● https://www.sexandcannabis.com
● Urban Tantra by Barba Carrellas: https://www.amazon.com/Urban-Tantra-Sacred-Twenty-First-Century/dp/1587612909
● The Beautiful Life Collective
● Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Sadd
● White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

Calls to action:

● Be sure to leave a review!
● Follow us on Twitter
● Follow us on Instagram
● Miss Mackenzee Twitter
● Miss Mackenzee Instagram
● Parker Leigh Twitter
● Parker Leigh Instagram

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Welcome to another wonderful week at the KIC Lounge! Joining us all the way from the west coast is Anne Hodder-Shipp. We have been looking forward to this episode since Anne said she’d love to be a guest on the show. Our conversation shed a lot of light on something we all experience: dreams, among other subjects. It was extremely fascinating to hear about her journey as a dreamworker, from discovering it as a client to facilitating sessions with clients of her own. We talk all about the power of our subconscious and how that plays a role in our dreams and how we experience life. Anne works to dismantle many common misconceptions there are about dreamwork as well as talking about common themes people have in their dreams. In previous episodes, we’ve talked about sex education for the younger generations but in this episode we get more into consent and the importance of teaching that to kids when they are very young. We found this episode to be extremely enlightening and think you will too! Maybe you’ll even think about your dreams differently.
 
Anne Hodder-Shipp, CSE, (she/they) is a multi-certified sex and relationships educator with professional training in breathwork and holistic dreamwork. Anne has been working with, writing about, and teaching others about sex and relationships in some form for more than 13 years, and in addition to her private practice and public workshops, Anne also leads treatment groups for clients recovering from substance use disorder, eating disorders, compulsive sexual behavior and other stigmatized illnesses. In addition to her private practice, Anne also is the founder and lead educator at Everyone Deserves Sex Education (EDSE), manages sex-positive PR firm Hodder Media Inc., and is co-producer of the SEX+ Summit.

Key topics:

● What is dreamwork?
● Dreamwork as an alternative form of therapy
● How the body holds trauma and different experiences
● Consent culture and the importance of teaching it to kids
● Anne’s work with Everyone Deserves Sex Education

Resources:

● https://www.annehoddershipp.com
● https://www.instagram.com/theannehodder
● https://www.instagram.com/every1deservessexed
● Sex+ Summit
● Buy a Ticket for Sex+ Summit - Use coupon code GANJA15 for 15% off!!
● https://www.keziavida.com
● Dream Journal: http://keziavida.com/dreamwisely/
● What is EMDR? https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/

Calls to action:

● Be sure to leave a review!
● Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge
● Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast
● Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee
● Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.mackenzee
● Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissParkerLeigh
● Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.parker.leigh

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We have a fantastic show for you this week! Parker was dealing with some tooth pain and was not as talkative in this episode so we just wanted to let you know that Miss Mackenzee really took the lead. Joining us is Rain DeGrey who took some time out of her busy schedule to chat with us! We really enjoyed this conversation not only because we’ve both enjoyed Rain’s work for years but because it provided a lot of really great insights. We talk all about the importance of helping to educate people in the scene particularly those that are new and exploring, the idea of play frenzy and how it can be dangerous, and being a kinky introvert (like so many of us). We got to hear about Rain's lonely cock in a very sexy chat about strap on play. Mackenzee and Rain really bonded over the fact that tops get drained and droppy too after a scene, not just bottoms. Rain shared that she is on the autism spectrum and how that factors into her play as well as talking a bit about her fascinating experiences with synesthesia. Want to hear all about how Jesus on the cross is sexy or nuns being naughty? You'll want to tune into this episode.

Rain Degrey is an international educator, writer, presenter, podcaster, and performer that has been writing articles and teaching classes, focusing on kink, relationships, and sex education since 2009. After getting her start as a fetish model, Pro Domme, and competitive wrestler, she was motivated to branch out into education, something she is extremely passionate about. Demystifying sexuality and presenting in a clear humorous way are trademarks of her teaching style. She believes strongly in making sex education fun and engaging. She has taught on a wide variety of topics at numerous venues including Harvard University, Northwestern University, Kink.com, The Citadel, Dark Odyssey, Folsom Street Fair, KinkAcadamy, Thunder in the Mountains, and Boundcon.

Key topics:

● Rain talks about one of her most extreme edge play scenes, including behind the scenes details
● The importance of not using kink as therapy
● Lessons learned from being a heavy bottom
● The illusions that editing create in porn
● Strap on sex and why it’s so great
● Religious play, what is it and what can it look like?

Resources:

● https://www.raindegrey.com
● Follow Rain on IG: @raindegrey
● Follow Rain on Twitter: @raindegrey
● Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/57725?sp=1
● Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/raindegrey/
● SpareParts Joque strap on harness: https://shevibe.com/spareparts-joque-harness-jet-black/
● Avery Hornn on Twitter: @AveryHornn

Calls to action:

● Be sure to leave a review!
● Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge
● Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast
● Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee
● Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.mackenzee
● Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissParkerLeigh
● Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.parker.leigh

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This week in the Lounge, we had Willow stop by to talk with us. Willow is the type of person that gives meaning to the phrase "good things come in small packages." He brings such a warm and fun energy with him and he certainly brought it in this conversation. The three of us share a love of medical play and all things sharps-related. Don't worry if you don't know what that means. You'll find out in this episode. Parker and Willow talk about the headspace for pet play and what draws them to that type of play. Willow shares how being trans has influenced his life in kink. We talk all about edge play including hook suspensions, balancing safety with the need to learn and practice more extreme types of play, managing kink and vanillas lives, and so much more. Willow also shares a fun memory he had with our puppy pre-COVID.

Willow is a natural teacher and an engaging, inventive player with many years of experience in a wide variety of kinks. As a sadomasochistic switch, his classes are designed to speak to both the top and the bottom of a scene, (since without one or the other, you are left with his self suspension class!) Willow enjoys breath play, rope, pony play, needles, knives, and thuddy things and is now turning his years of experience on both sides of the reins into comprehensive classes on sadistic rope, venipuncture, and more! Kink is a core part of who he is and what he does, followed closely by ethical sluttery and a love of learning. Willow runs relaxed, hands-on classes, and is passionate about getting students engaged with the subject at hand. Along with his free pandemic classes on rope bondage, he offers private lessons where he can tailor the content to your interests, skill level, and really dig into the subject at hand.

Key topics:

● How to find the kink community even if you live in the backwoods of Kentucky
● Medical play: what is it and what can it look like?
● The risks and joys of hook suspensions
● Exploring the world of pony play
● Sex and dating as a trans man
● Coming out and family support

Resources:

● Willow on Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/582959
● Follow Willow on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/willowinrope
● Fetlife
● Rochester Erotic Arts Festival
● The Brief History of Human Suspension
● Safe Choking 101
● Trans Ally Tips
● Miss Mackenzee’s Sharps Intensive (Class is virtual):
https://black-thorn.org/events/2020-10-17-out-for-blood-a-sharps-play-intensive

Calls to action:

● Be sure to leave a review!
● Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge
● Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast
● Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee
● Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.mackenzee
● Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissParkerLeigh
● Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.parker.leigh

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This week we got to catch up with a dear human who we met in Michigan years ago when we taught for his event, Synergy. It was a long drive but certainly worth it! Even before we started recording, Travis had us smiling and laughing, filled with tons of positive energy so we knew this was going to be a fun episode. Once we hit record, the energy did not change and he shared with us how he recently collared his one girl and told the story of how he collared his other girl many years ago. It’s always fascinating to hear other people’s stories of solidifying their relationships since there is no right or wrong way to do it. Since he’s been involved in kink for so long, we were really intrigued to hear how Travis got his start in the lifestyle so he shares his naughty origin story. We chat about what it’s like being an event organizer, life as a title holder, and leather Daddy. We didn’t get to all of the things we wanted to talk about so we may just have to chat with Travis again. With all his years in the lifestyle, he has so much knowledge and experience to bring to the conversation. Don’t believe us? You’ll just have to listen then!

Sir Travis is a sadistic, sexually versatile Leather Daddy hailing from West Michigan. Exploring kink since his teens, he has been active in various Midwestern kink and Leather communities since 2009 in various roles from attendee to event producer. Holding the titles of Michigan Master 2014 & Great Lakes Power Exchange 2015, Travis enjoys sharing his knowledge and skills whenever possible and has had the honor of presenting for numerous events and organizations. He can be found at home with his girls Niki & Becky, at the local gaming store geeking out while playing Magic the Gathering, or at events indulging in creative and painful adventures to make lasting memories.

Key topics:

● Discovering the kinky lifestyle
● How to be proactive with your safety in kink
● Introduction to the Leather community
● Dominant vs Master...what are the differences?
● The complex world of event producing
● How will COVID-19 change kink events in the future?

Resources:

● Travis on FetLife: https://fetlife.com/users/143399
● Follow him on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/SirTravisGR
● Simon Sinek TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action?language=en
● Leather Culture: http://www.leatherpedia.org/leather-culture/

Calls to action:

● Be sure to leave a review!
● Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge
● Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast
● Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee
● Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.mackenzee
● Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissParkerLeigh
● Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.parker.leigh

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We are so excited for this week’s show! Dr. Timaree took some time to hang out with us in the Lounge. We covered so many amazing topics in such a short amount of time so you won’t want to miss a second of this episode. We get Dr. Timaree’s take on sex education and what is lacking, not just for the younger generation but for parents and adults as well. The idea of attraction templates and body morphology can sound foreign but she takes the time to explain what that is and how she handled the subject when writing her dissertation. We learned a lot through this conversation and think you’ll enjoy the talk as it is filled with tons of great information while also bringing you the same fun energy we always do!

Dr. Timaree Schmit has been a sex educator for more of her life than not and is on this planet to bring rational, sex-positive, empirically-based knowledge about sexuality to audiences everywhere. She has a PhD in Human Sexuality education and works as a writer, guest lecturer, consultant, community organizer, performer and media content creator. You can check out her work on her website, including her award-winning podcast, Sex with Timaree.

Key topics:

● A career path in sexuality education and how we can improve in that field
● The importance of media literacy skills
● How the way we view our bodies influences who we’re attracted to
● Goal-based sex: what is it and how we can move away from it
● Pleasure and intimacy after trauma
● The gender and sexuality spectrum and working within those confines

Resources:

● Dr. Timaree’s Website: http://www.sexwithtimaree.com
● Follow her on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/timaree_leigh
● Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexwithtimaree/
● Sex with Timaree Podcast: https://sexwithtimaree.com/subscribe-on-itunes/
● Planned Parenthood: http://www.plannedparenthood.org
● Scarleteen: http://www.scarleteen.com
● Circles of Sexuality: https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/wp-content/uploads/storage/advfy/documents/circles.pdf
● Kinsey scale: https://kinseyinstitute.org/research/publications/kinsey-scale.php
● Skin Deep: https://shop.theskindeep.com/

Calls to action:

● Be sure to leave a review!
● Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge
● Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast
● Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee
● Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.mackenzee
● Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissParkerLeigh
● Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.parker.leigh

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In this episode we get a chance to chat with Darren Infinity. This was such a great conversation involving Darren's naughty introduction to kink in his teen years, managing relationships and dynamics that are forced to be long distance and life as a switch. There's numerous types of headspace when it comes to age play which we discuss. We even talk about co-topping with your Dom and so much more. You definitely don't want to miss this episode!

Darren is an enthusiastic bisexual queer pervert based out of Toronto, Ontario. He loves to facilitate discussions about making our relationships richer and our play hotter, with a particular focus on power exchange relationships and play. He is passionate about managing risk and discussing how to detoxify masculinity. In his classes, Darren focuses on providing participants practical tools to communicate about the kind of dynamics, play and sex that they want.

Key topics:

● Advice for maintaining long distance relationships and dynamics during COVID-19
● The benefits of seeing a Professional Dominatrix and the positive effects it can have
● Age play and all the fun ways to express it
● Some of our sexiest erotic hypnosis stories including an alien abduction
● Protocols: what are they and how to create them

Resources:

● Follow Darren on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/darren_infinity
● Find Darren on FetLife: https://fetlife.com/users/3121?sp=1
● The Marketplace series by Laura Antoniou: http://lantoniou.com/category/books-reviews/the-marketplace-laura-antoniou/

Calls to action:

● Be sure to leave a review!
● Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge
● Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast
● Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee
● Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.mackenzee
● Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissParkerLeigh
● Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.parker.leigh

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This week, we have a wonderful show for you with our guest, the lovely Miss Colleen! Throughout this episode, we find ourselves discussing the idea of the gender binary and how we have to go beyond that. Given all the hats that she wears, Miss Colleen is blurring those lines of gender identity or expression, sexuality, and even kink identifiers. We share tons of fun stories while also exploring what being a drag queen means to her and how it opens up a whole world of opportunity as well as a creative outlet. This episode is full of reminiscing about gay clubs and bars, working to dismantle the myth of bisexuals, how our experiences shape us, and so much more.

She is a kinky, gender-fluid, bisexual drag queen hailing from the Jersey Shore! Don't let that fool you as she drives a 2017 Ram 2500 that sits on a six inch lift kit with 37 inch tires! When she's not driving that, Colleen loves to indulge in lobster rolls, good books and a good smack on the ass! Identifying as a switch, she also likes to dish out spankings too! In a world that isn't run rampant by a pandemic, she loves adventuring to dungeon parties from NYC to Philly and enjoying the nightlife making memories that last a lifetime. Miss Colleen is the hockey and football butch queen of your dreams that will competitively battle you during the day and be that sexy seductress at night!

Key topics:

● Living the fabulous drag Queen lifestyle
● Exploring gender fluidity
● How kink and drag intersect for her
● Being a switch in the kink lifestyle
● Bisexual vs Pansexual
● Our coming out stories

Resources:

● Follow Miss Colleen on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JerseyGurl2121
● Follow Miss Colleen on Instagram: www.instagram.com/JerseyGurl21
● Subscribe to Miss Colleen's OnlyFans: www.onlyfans.com/JerseyGurl21
● Buy Miss Colleen's clips: JerseyGurl21.manyvids.com
● Project REAL

Calls to action:

● Be sure to leaves a review
● Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/kiclounge
● Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kicloungepodcast
● Miss Mackenzee Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissMackenzee
● Miss Mackenzee Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.mackenzee
● Parker Leigh Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MissParkerLeigh
● Parker Leigh Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miss.parker.leigh

Support the show