Intimate Judaism – Details, episodes & analysis

The discourse on marital intimacy and sexuality in Judaism has become a normative topic of conversation. Rabbanit Shayna Goldberg, an educator and spiritual advisor at Migdal Oz, a Midrasha of higher learning for young women in Gush Etzion, believes that conversations about desire, sex and sexuality are relevant for unmarried women as well, and not just as part of premarital education after they have become engaged. In this episode, we discuss the importance of normalizing and addressing issues of sexuality for single women.

Losing one’s spouse is one of life’s most difficult and painful experiences. The process of grieving includes feelings of loneliness, abandonment, and isolation. While grieving the loss of a spouse, one also mourns the loss of identity as a member of an intimate partnership and acceptance of a new identity as a widow/er. Well-intentioned friends and family members may urge those who have lost a spouse to “move on,” while others may pass judgment when they begin to date or find a new partner. We are grateful to Marc Tobin and Jodi Wachspress, both of whom lost their partners to cancer, for sharing their experiences in finding new relationships and providing inspiration to those who have lost their spouses to love again.

Not since Yenta from Fiddler on the Roof has there been a matchmaker as famous as Aleeza Ben Shalom! Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum for a rollicking discussion with the colorful, engaging and entertaining host of “Jewish Matchmaking.”

What happens to the sex life of couples during middle age?  Does the familiarity of long-term marriage breed sexual boredom ? Does aging reduce sexual interest?   What happens when intimacy is no longer mediated by nidah laws?  Listen to Rabbi Scott interview Talli as she presents surprising research findings and insights that will dispel myths about sex in midlife and beyond.

In our annual Q&A episode, Talli and Scott answer many questions and discuss numerous issues dealing with Judaism and intimacy, including whether avoiding sex before marriage means a likelihood of being sexually incompatible with your spouse, how to proceed when you start off shomer negiah and then... you're not, finding porn on your husband's intenet history, coping with changes in libido, defining Jewish sex, the halachic attitude towards using a condom, and more. We appreciate your many questions, and encourage you to continue being in contact with us.

The shidduch crisis refers to the phenomenon in the  Orthodox Jewish community whereby eligible single persons, especially women, have difficulty finding a suitable spouse. While there are  definite differences between the way dating for marriage  is approached and conducted in the Hasidic, Yeshivish and Modern Orthodox worlds, there are also some similarities.  Recently, a research study was conducted to better understand and promote awareness regarding the struggles that many Orthodox Jewish daters face across the religious spectrum.  Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum, together with study authors Dr. Michael Salamon and Dr. Naomi Rosenbach, as they discuss the  research findings and recommendations for communal change in addressing these issues.

Whether divorced, widowed or never married, seeking a new relationship is complex. While each individual has his or her own unique experiences and perspectives, being unpartnered in midlife usually represents mourning for having loved and lost, or not yet having experienced the joy of partnered intimacy. Added to this for Orthodox Jews, are conflicts around non-marital physical touch. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum in a discussion meant to encourage compassion to self and other, inclusion and hope.

Check out https://www.intimatejudaism.com/ for the full podcast archive, show notes, and more. 

And watch Talli and Scott's conversation on the Intimate Judaism YouTube channel.

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Numerous sources in our tradition demonstrate that sex in marriage must be mutual and consensual, and at no time can sex be forced or coerced. However, If a woman has been taught that she must do what her husband wants and she is responsible for protecting him from sin, she will fear the consequences of saying no.  In this episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss how non-consensual sexual dynamics can be built in to the system even as normative Jewish law forbids coercive sex.  We invite you to listen to this thought provoking and important discussion about the importance of integrating sexual autonomy and ethical sexual behavior in Jewish marriage.

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Read Emily Nagoski's article, "Enthusiastic, Willing, Unwilling, Coerced: Consent, in the Context of Sex Worth Having" here.

Pregnancy and childbirth are profound events in the life of a couple. The physical, psychological and hormonal changes that occur to women during pregnancy and in the postpartum period can impact both partners and affect emotional and sexual intimacy.  Couples must learn to adjust to a changed family system and a new identity as parents. Observant Jewish couples are additionally affected by laws that restrict touch during childbirth and in the postpartum period. In this episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss how pregnancy and childbirth as well as restrictions on physical touch, can affect relational intimacy and sexuality.

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Infertility and pregnancy loss affects relationships: with self, God, partner, family, friends and community. In part 2 of this two part series, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the general implications of infertility and pregnancy loss on these relationships and on marital intimacy and sexuality. Listen  to Talli and Rabbi Scott discuss this as well as the specific considerations  for observant Jewish couples.

Become an Intimate Judaism Patreon subscriber to get additional episodes, merch, and more! Just go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism.