How To Deal – Details, episodes & analysis

In this insightful talk, Eli explores the multifaceted concept of loss from a child's perspective, providing parents and caregivers with a comprehensive framework to understand and aid children during these challenging times. From the little losses to the big ones, discover strategies and insights to navigate these poignant moments in a child's life.

In this episode, we'll delve into calming yourself when a loved one is upset, exploring the parent-child dynamic of co-regulation and debunking misconceptions about calmness.

For full episode please become a member of the Nerd Herd. Details can be found at www.attachmentnerd.com

In this episode, we dive deep into a very personal, yet universal, parenting experience. Our host shares her journey of miscommunication and repair with her son, revealing the raw and tender dynamics of the parent-child relationship.

We discuss how easily we can misread situations, and how a moment of jest can turn into a moment of distress. But more importantly, we explore the aftermath: the process of owning our mistakes, acknowledging the impact, and working towards mending the rupture.

We delve into the steps of making repairs, from granting space for our children to express their feelings to understanding their needs for reparation. We also highlight the importance of public acknowledgment of our mistakes, a key component of the social fabric of our lives.

Finally, we address the importance of not beating ourselves up when we falter and the need for patience as repairs may take time. This episode is a true testament to the fact that it's not about never messing up, but about how we rise and recover when we do.

So, join us on this enlightening journey, as we learn, grow, and together, continue to become better parents, one repair at a time.

Dive into this episode as we explore effective strategies for co-regulating and guiding children through their emotional journey. Discover how empathy and understanding can foster a nurturing environment that supports emotional growth, equipping kids with the tools they need to express and manage their anger in healthy ways.

Stressed by parenting struggles? I get it. That's why I created Attachment Nerd's all-in-one approach, providing expert coaching, essential resources, and a warm community.

Like many satisfied parents, you can build deep connections and overcome day-to-day hurdles. Let's embark on this journey together at Attachmentnerd.com

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What would you tell your younger mom self?

In this deeply personal first episode, Eli sits down with **Babs Slaton, MA, LPC**—fellow therapist, colleague at the PASS Center, and the original cycle breaker in Eli's family. Babs was the first person in their family system to look around at the dysfunction and say, "This feels insecure. We need to figure something out."

Babs shares the five things she wishes someone had told her when she was a young mom in the trenches—wisdom refined through decades of parenting, therapy, and watching her grandchildren thrive.

Your kid finally learned to regulate their emotions... and then they turned 8 and it all fell apart. Sound familiar?

In this episode, Eli sits down with Alyssa Campbell—co-author of the New York Times bestseller Tiny Humans, Big Feelings and her new book Big Kids, Bigger Feelings—to unpack why the pre-teen years hit so differently (and why your biases might be making it worse).

They dive into:

1. Why that "calm period" around age 6-7 doesn't last (and what's actually happening in your kid's brain)
2. How to parent when your sensory needs are completely opposite your child's
3. The difference between entitlement and dysregulation (spoiler: it's usually the second one)
4. Why "attention-seeking" behavior is actually a need, not a want
5. A free tool to understand your (and your kid's) unique nervous system

Whether you have neurotypical or neurodivergent kids, this conversation will change how you see those eye rolls, door slams, and "attitudes."

Resources mentioned:

1. Take the free Sensory Quiz: seedquiz.com
2. Big Kids, Bigger Feelings by Alyssa Campbell
3. Tiny Humans, Big Feelings
4. Learn more about Seed and Sew: Link

Music by Gold Child - www.goldchildmusic.com

We all have biases. Every single one of us.

They're the mental shortcuts our brains built when we were young—and most of us never thought to question them. But what happens when your child starts forming their own identity, and it challenges everything you thought you believed?

In this episode, Eli sits down with Destini Ann Davis—bestselling author of Very Intentional Parenting, certified parenting coach, and creator to unpack how our unexamined biases can quietly erode secure attachment with our kids.

They dive into:

1. Why ALL humans have biases (and why that's not the same as being "bad")
2. The difference between recognizing bias and acting on it
3. How proximity and diverse exposure actually rewires our brains
4. Why "distance breeds suspicion, but proximity breeds empathy" (Tyler Merritt)
5. Teaching kids to pause and get curious instead of react with judgment
6. How authenticity about our own biases creates deeper connections

Whether it's biases about race, gender, neurodivergence, body size, or a hundred other things—this conversation will help you examine what you're unconsciously passing on.

📝 TAKE THE TEST: Harvard University's Implicit Association Test (IAT) — https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html

ABOUT THE GUEST:

Destini Ann Davis is a certified parenting coach, bestselling author, and speaker who helps parents create intentional, connected relationships with their children through her "Very Intentional Parenting" approach. Her TikTok has grown to over 900K followers, and she recently earned her master's in psychology.

1. Website: https://www.destiniann.com/
2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/destini.ann/
3. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/destini-davis-a44700266/
4. Book: Very Intentional Parenting by Destini Ann Davis

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

1. Harvard Implicit Association Test (IAT): https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html
2. I Take My Coffee Black by Tyler Merritt: https://www.amazon.com/Take-My-Coffee-Black-Reflections/dp/1546029419
3. Very Intentional Parenting by Destini Ann Davis

📚 PRE-ORDER ELI'S NEW BOOK: "How to Deal With Your ____, So Your Kids Don't Have To: An Encyclopedia for Ditching Your Emotional Baggage" (April 2026) 👉 https://www.attachmentnerd.com/how-to-deal-book

🎓 SECURE PARENTING PROGRAM: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program

CONNECT WITH ELI:

1. Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/
2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/
3. TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd

🎵 Music by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

In this powerful conversation, safety expert Dannah Eve, known as The Street Smart Blonde with over 4 million followers, combines her academic knowledge with street smarts to deliver life-saving insights. We explore practical strategies for keeping our families safe without living in constant fear.

## Key Takeaways

- **Live aware, not in fear** - Dannah's motto emphasizes empowerment over paranoia

- **The What If Game** - Turn safety preparation into engaging family activities

- **Lying to survive** - Teaching kids when dishonesty protects their safety

- **Family code words** - Essential communication tools for emergencies

- **Trust your gut instinct** - Developing intuition as a safety muscle

- **Connection as protection** - Being your child's safe space builds trust

## About the Guest

**Dannah Eve** is a trusted safety expert and digital creator known as The Street Smart Blonde. As a former D1 athlete and Summa Cum Laude graduate in Criminology and Psychology, she combines academic knowledge with street smarts to deliver life-saving insights to her rapidly growing audience of over 4 million followers across her social media platforms.

**Connect with Dannah:**

- Website: [dannaheve.com](https://www.dannaheve.com/)

- Instagram: [@dannah_eve](https://www.instagram.com/dannah_eve/)

- YouTube: [@dannah_eve](https://www.youtube.com/@dannah_eve)

- Twitter: [@dannah_eve](https://x.com/dannah_eve)

- LinkedIn: [Dannah Eve](https://www.linkedin.com/in/dannah-eve-434b33193/)

## Resources Mentioned

- **Street Smarts Book** by Dannah Eve - [Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Street-Smarts-Instincts-Outsmart-Danger/dp/0063438887) | [Barnes & Noble](https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/street-smarts-dannah-eve/1147525519) | [Bookshop.org](https://bookshop.org/p/books/street-smarts-trust-your-instincts-outsmart-danger-and-stay-safe-in-a-world-that-isn-t-dannah-eve/872c84c47df982dc)

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**Learn more about secure parenting:**

https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program

**Connect with Eli:**

- Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/

- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd

**Music by Gold Child:**

https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT and creator of the Mom Parts Method, shares insights on transforming mom guilt and shame using Internal Family Systems therapy. She reveals why these painful feelings aren't signs of failure, but actually pathways to healing both ourselves and our mothering.

1. Guilt has purpose: It's a reminder when we've acted outside our values and creates opportunity for repair
2. Shame points to old wounds: Shame is a "bookmark for your unmet needs" from childhood that still need healing
3. Motherhood activates everything: Kids are like "heat-seeking hovercrafts" for our unresolved issues, making motherhood both triggering and healing
4. You're mothering two kids: You're always mothering your actual child plus your inner child who still needs care
5. Parts are trying to help: Even our "worst" internal parts are actually trying to protect and help us, they just need updating

Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT, is a pioneer in maternal mental health who created the Mom Parts method, applying Internal Family Systems therapy to motherhood. As a Level 3 Certified IFS Therapist and Certified Perinatal Mental Health Professional, she brings deep expertise to helping mothers transform difficult emotions into self-compassion.

Connect with Jessica:

1. Website: https://www.jessicatomichsorci.com/
2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicatomichsorci/
3. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-tomich-sorci-2b577056/

1. When Good Moms Feel Bad - Jessica's book co-authored with Rebecca Geshuri
2. Mom Parts Community - Online community and salons for mothers
3. Mothercentered Approach Training - Professional training program for therapists
4. Internal Family Systems Institute - Founded by Richard Schwartz, creator of IFS therapy
5. Introduction to Internal Family Systems by Richard Schwartz

Learn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program

Connect with Eli:

1. Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/
2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/
3. TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd

Music by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

In this deeply important conversation, Eli sits down with internationally acclaimed children's book author and publisher Jayneen Sanders to explore how parents can teach body safety, consent, and boundaries to children of all ages — from infancy through the teen years. Together they discuss why body autonomy is one of the most powerful tools we can give our kids, how grooming actually works, and what we can do to raise children who trust their instincts and feel safe coming to us.

1. Start from birth. You can begin narrating body care to infants — "I'm moving your arm to put your jacket on" — planting the seeds of body autonomy from day one.
2. Use the word 'consent' with young children. Teaching kids that no one can enter their personal space without permission — and that they must ask too — is the foundation of body safety.
3. Be a warrior parent. When grandparents or other adults override your child's physical boundaries (the forced hug), speak up. Protecting body autonomy in the moment is not rude — it's essential.
4. Teach the four-step boundary response: Name the boundary that was crossed → Share how it made you feel → State what you want them to do → Know your next step (tell a trusted adult).
5. Teach body warning signs. Kids' bodies give them signals — a sick stomach, shakiness, or an "icky" feeling — when something is wrong. Empower children to act on those signals immediately.
6. Build a safety network of 3–5 trusted adults, including at least one outside the immediate family, so children always have someone to turn to.
7. Check in regularly, not anxiously. Monthly low-pressure check-ins ("Has anyone made you uncomfortable lately?") keep communication open without creating fear.
8. Prevention is far easier than treatment. A child who discloses abuse and is believed experiences significantly less long-term trauma than one who cannot tell anyone.
9. Read books together and keep the conversation going. Books give children visual anchors and open the door to ongoing dialogue — which is where the real protection lives.
10. It takes a village. Ask your child's school and childcare center about their safety policies and background check procedures.

Jayneen Sanders is an experienced educator, author, and publisher who advocates globally for Body Safety, Gender Equality, and Respectful Relationship Education. She founded Educate2Empower Publishing and has written over 100 children's books on critical topics including body safety and consent. Her first body safety book, Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept, was published 15 years ago and is now available in 7 languages.

Connect with Jayneen:

1. 🌐 Website: e2epublishing.info
2. 📸 Instagram: @jayneensandersauthor
3. 🐦 Twitter/X: @jayneensanders
4. 💼 LinkedIn: Jayneen Sanders

1. 📚 Respect Me, Respect My Boundaries by Jayneen Sanders — Shop at Educate2Empower (Jayneen's newest book, featuring a 4-step boundary-setting process)
2. 📚 Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept by Jayneen Sanders — Amazon | Educate2Empower
3. 📚 Body Safety Education: A Parents' Guide by Jayneen Sanders — Amazon
4. 🏫 All Jayneen's Books & Free Resources — Educate2Empower Publishing Shop
5. 🌐 Consent Parenting (school safety checklists & resources) — consentparenting.com
6. 💬 Mr. Rogers quote referenced: "What is mentionable is manageable."

Learn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program

Connect with Eli:

1. Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/
2. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/
3. TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd

Music by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/