Explore every episode of the podcast Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health
Dive into the complete episode list for Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.
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Title
Pub. Date
Duration
Stepping Into Acceptance When Your Child Misuses Substances and Struggles with Mental Health, with Brenda Zane
17 Oct 2024
00:12:12
In an unplanned and heartfelt episode, I decided to share some thoughts on the importance of acceptance in the face of life's challenges. I discuss how resisting difficult experiences can hinder personal growth and highlight the beauty of transformation that comes with accepting reality.
You'll also hear a story of a life saved recently by one of our members, made possible by the support of Hopestream's scholarship fund. This episode takes place during our Seeds of Hope Giving Campaign for 2024, which you can learn more about at hopestreamcommunity.org/donate. If the Hopestream podcast has been helpful for you and your family, please consider a donation to our 501(c)3 nonprofit organization to keep it on air and, importantly, ad-free.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
How Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation Plays A Role in Treating Anxiety, Depression, PTSD and More, with Martha Koo, M.D.
10 Oct 2024
00:52:11
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) is a highly effective but obscure treatment in psychiatry. It received its first FDA clearance for the treatment of depression in 2008 but has since proven itself to be effective for a host of other issues – depression, OCD, smoking cessation, bipolar, PTSD, cognitive impairment, and even autism. And a huge bonus? Side effects are practically non-existent.
If that doesn’t get your attention, consider this: The FDA recently cleared TMS for depression in adolescents aged 15 and up, with studies currently being conducted on efficacy for substance use disorders.
In this episode, I speak with Dr. Martha Koo, president of the TMS society's board of directors. Martha received her degrees from Princeton and UCLA and is double-board-certified in psychiatry and addiction. She has also participated in the evolution of TMS for decades. She’ll explain who TMS is for, how it works, what it’s capable of, and why there may be an explosion of its use in the coming years.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
The Anxiety Factor: Untangling the Adolescent Anxiety And Substance Use Knot, with Jarell Myers. Ph.D.
08 Aug 2024
01:00:55
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
When Dr. Jarrell Myers took his first job out of grad school, he loved working with children suffering from anxiety disorders, as well as their families. It was a calling he’d already been pursuing for years. But there was a big problem: many kids who needed needed help for their anxiety couldn’t become patients in his program because they were using substances.
While this made some clinical sense (for reasons Jarell will explain), it also failed to acknowledge that substance use was woven into their anxiety, often as a coping mechanism. This is what finally led him to the Center for Motivational Change (CMC).
CMC publishes the book I recommend more than any other to parents of kids struggling with substances – Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. Today I finally have a chance to speak with Dr. Myers about some of the core principles it contains.
In this episode, we discuss the nature of anxiety, why it makes sense that anxious kids to turn to substances, how parenting those kids may trigger our own fear and anxiety responses, and how to give our families the best fighting chance in the face of these realities.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Letting Go of Expectations and Dealing with Grief When Your Child is Misusing Drugs or Alcohol, with Cathy Cioth
01 Dec 2022
00:34:20
ABOUT THE EPISODE: In this episode with my right-hand woman, business partner, and all-around inspiring mom Cathy Cioth, we dive into the harsh reality that life with a child who's experimenting with or actively addicted to substances doesn't look like the pictures we had in mind when they were little.
As parents, we do a disservice to our kids when we intentionally or subconsciously layer expectations on them around who they should be, how they should be, what they should accomplish, and what we think they should want. We might project onto them things we experienced in our own family growing up, and Cathy and I dig into why it's sometimes easier to focus on our kids than on ourselves.
We share personal experiences from our family's journeys and, of course, go on a tangent or two along the way. We address the very real grief that comes with life looking far different than we'd anticipated and share insightful solutions for navigating it all.
EPISODE RESOURCES:
Episode 130: Nine things we never talk about when our kids misuse drugs or alcohol
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
We Have to Talk About It: Understanding the Link Between Mental Health, Substance Use and Suicide, with Anne Moss Rogers
24 Nov 2022
00:59:40
ABOUT THE EPISODE: With well over a hundred episodes on Hopestream, I couldn’t believe we haven’t talked about the very common link between substance use and suicide rates. Since it was time, I’m honored to introduce you to mother, author, and mental health advocate, Anne Moss Rogers. She courageously shares her story of the loss of her son to suicide in hopes of spurring more honest conversations before it’s too late for other families.
While this is another topic that’s messy and difficult to navigate, Anne Moss reminds us that patience and curiosity are the best tools we have for exposing the root of our kids’ pain. You’ll also hear practical ways to recognize signs that your child needs to talk about suicide and ways to work through what can be an overwhelming fear.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why Anne Moss left a corporate career she was highly passionate about to pursue advocacy for suicide prevention full time
Whether talking about suicide plants seeds in a person’s mind about killing themselves
How her son Charles' battle with mental health showed up in the beginning and how it progressed
The connection between self-harming behavior and suicide ideation
How Anne Moss had to navigate her son’s immediate relapse after going to treatment
The red flags to look for if someone you love is contemplating suicide
What you can do if your son or daughter avoids engaging this topic with you
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Four Strategies For Getting More of The Behavior You Want and Less of What You Don't When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs or Alcohol, With Brenda Zane
17 Nov 2022
00:26:55
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Today I dive into a key component of encouraging more positive behavior through the use of consequences. You probably already know consequences can be confusing and hard to get right when your child is misusing substances and struggles with mental health issues. They're sometimes hard to be consistent with, and often backfire.
Chapter 11 in the book Beyond Addiction is the base for the information shared in this episode and outlines four ways you can go about using consequences with your son or daughter - however, only three are recommended.
It's a snack-sized lesson on a really confusing topic, so lace up for a quick walk or hop in the car and listen in to get some practical strategies you can start using today.
EPISODE RESOURCES:
Australian Dollar and British Pound payment accepted for membership: The Stream
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Coaching Episode: 17 Days Sober: Using CRAFT Skills to Help Mom Navigate Her Son’s First Unexpected Weekend Home From Treatment
10 Nov 2022
01:03:16
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Friday, Saturday, Sunday. If you’re a parent of a child misusing drugs or alcohol, you know why these three days can send you into a tailspin. The free time and lack of structure mean our kids will likely find themselves in risky situations. In this coaching episode, I met with Marie- a Stream Member who booked this last-minute session with me on a Friday, which told me something was brewing.
Marie has a son who has experienced trauma and struggled with substances and has been attending a therapeutic boarding school. Yet, for many reasons, it wasn’t an ideal fit. Now he’s back at home, doing online school, and not in treatment, but 17 days sober. The bright spot in this story is that this mom and son are close, have good communication, and he’s expressed that he wants to stay sober. Listen as we explore how Marie can initiate some hard conversations to reduce her anxiety and increase the chance of her son choosing support and sobriety over the weekend.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How previous trauma can complicate recovery unexpectedly
Why we have to consistently affirm our kids even when we don’t love their behavior
How Marie is helping her son assess the risk factors associated with different friends and social scenarios
Why our kids need to know that we’re also learning and not confident, either
What Marie is learning about the impact of choosing self-care on this path
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
How Parents Can Create Conditions For Change Using Compassion and Self-Care When A Child is Misusing Drugs or Alcohol, With Dina Cannizzaro
03 Nov 2022
00:59:14
ABOUT THE EPISODE: It’s tough to come to terms with how little control we have over whether our kids choose substances or healing and recovery. In this episode, you’ll get to hear from Dina Cannizzaro. She’s a mom who has been through hell and back but has channeled all that fear and anxiety into actionable steps toward relearning how to connect with her son and harness the surprising power of self-care.
Hear how far she and her son Parker have come now that he’s been in active recovery for six years. You’ll also hear how she had to repair relationships she let suffer (including her other children) as she became all-consumed in her fear and efforts to support her son.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
A Battle-Tested Dad Shares Why The Support of Other Men Is Critical, Not Optional, If Your Child Misuses Drugs or Alcohol With Bill Guy
27 Oct 2022
00:57:15
ABOUT THE EPISODE: It is an incredibly exciting week as we get to announce the opening of The Woods, our men’s community for those who identify as dads parenting teens who are struggling with substance misuse. I am honored to introduce you to Bill Guy, who is leading this new tribe of courageous men. He’s been in your shoes, and he tragically lost a son to an overdose. Bill discovered resources like CRAFT through the book Beyond Addiction and was blown away by the way it changed his relationship with his son, even in his last days.
While Bill continues to grieve the loss of his son, he has found an incredible sense of purpose empowering other parents to connect with their kids and help motivate them toward healthy change. Join us to hear his story which includes both heartbreak and healing and why he’s thrilled to host and support this private community for dads.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why motivation trumps manipulation when parents are trying to get their kids to accept help for substance misuse
How Bill describes the confusion and disappointment he felt watching his son struggle
The physical and emotional signs that inspired Bill to take his own health seriously
How Bill was able to stop blaming and controlling his son and have a relationship with him regardless of his drug use
Why men need other men in a safe community like The Woods
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Co-Author of Beyond Addiction Carrie Wilkens, Ph.D., Breaks Down How Parents Can Help Their Kids Positively Change Their Relationship With Drugs and Alcohol
20 Oct 2022
00:58:29
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Bribing. Shaming. Forcing. Manipulating. Yelling. These are just some of the approaches I tried while parenting my son who was struggling with a high-risk lifestyle and substance use. You likely have too. It took me a long time to accept that none of that was working.
But through the book Beyond Addiction, the CRAFT approach, and specifically The Invitation to Change, I discovered our kids’ behaviors make sense and substances work really well - until they don’t. This understanding shifted everything and I haven’t stopped talking about it since. I had one of the Beyond Addiction authors, Carrie Wilkens, Ph.D. on early in the podcast and I’ve invited her back to catch up post-pandemic and learn about a new companion workbook that’s just come out for parents.
Join us for this inspiring conversation as we unpack common stigmas around addiction, understand why using CRAFT and The Invitation To Change approach is not condoning substance use, and why staying curious and building connection is the key to motivating your child to make positive changes. I had a few lightbulb moments myself talking with Carrie and hearing her compassionate and practical approach to helping people change.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why compassion is crucial for navigating a post-pandemic world
How to respond when your child is ambivalent about substance use
Why self-awareness and self-compassion work comes first for parents
How to get a hesitant spouse, partner, or co-parent on board with CRAFT
That fear will be a consistent companion on this journey, but it doesn’t have to own you
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Community Required, Treatment Optional for Lasting Recovery; Finding Freedom and Joy in “Normal” with Jo Colette
13 Oct 2022
01:01:12
ABOUT THE EPISODE: On this road, we never can quite predict if or when our kids will decide to choose recovery for themselves. So if that moment feels miles away, or you’re just desperate to get a window into your child’s mindset, this story of recovery is absolutely for you.
In this episode, I’ve invited Jo Colette, a mother, wife, and brilliant tattoo artist to share her journey from addiction (including IV heroin) homelessness and violence to sobriety, and then active recovery.
You'll hear Jo describe the confusion of growing up in an emotionally unsafe home and her desperate struggle to find a place to belong. Her insights reinforce why drugs and alcohol are often a very practical solution for struggling teens without a lot of tools in their tool belt. She also shares the nightmare of her rock bottom, an insane hitch-hiking detox story, and how she began the real work of finding recovery.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why even experimenting with drugs can shine a light on suppressed pain
About Jo’s difficult transition moving from homeschool to a public high school
How easily she began to normalize a high-risk lifestyle
How Jo would describe the moment she was ready make a change
An important insight about the myth that people must go to formalized treatment to get sober and find recovery
What she’s savoring most in this season of her new life
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Coaching Episode: Finding Healthy Ways to Let Go of Expectations and Nagging While Affirming Your Child's Choices
06 Oct 2022
00:56:58
ABOUT THE EPISODE: One of the hardest things to surrender in parenting is our own dreams for our kids and accepting what they’re choosing for their lives as they gain independence. In this very relatable coaching episode, Karolina shares how a combination of complex learning difficulties, feeling socially isolated, and the pandemic all created a perfect storm for her son to have escalating behavioral and substance use issues.
While Karolina’s son was able to attend wilderness therapy and residential treatment, you’ll hear how challenging it was to watch him choose to live on his own after receiving so much support from his family. Through our conversation, Karolina recognizes just how resourceful and determined her son is, and how her nagging tendency may be pushing him away rather than motivating him. I offer her a challenge to detach in a healthy way, avoid jumping to worst-case scenarios, and still leave the door open for her son to accept support on his terms.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Some early educational and social challenges that make children vulnerable to misusing drugs and alcohol
How Karolina and her husband had to make difficult concessions to stay in relationship with their son
Why we have to commit to recognizing and celebrating our kids’ strengths
How to tap into your child’s interests to foster deeper connection
Why we have to stay present and resist the need to “play out the movie” of our kids’ lives
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Long Term Recovery Requires Discipline To Focus On The Present And Appreciate The Blessings It Brings, With Jeremy Melloul
29 Sep 2022
00:59:54
ABOUT THE EPISODE: In this special episode, I’ve invited Jeremy Melloul, owner of MOLT Clothing company back on the show. Jeremy joined me on episode 90 to share his story of early exposure and addiction that very nearly took his life a few times and what intercepted that risky path for his life.
We covered so much ground in that episode that I thought it would be great to check-in with Jeremy and see how things are going. We talk about what recovery looks like on a daily basis, how he has to fight to overcome his desire to isolate, and the wisdom he’s gained along the road.
Additionally, we explore the impact of social media on the recovery journey and why choosing the slower fix is a process that requires a lot of self-compassion. Don’t forget to go check out wearmolt.com where you can buy the favorite guy in your life an incredible t-shirt or hoodie. The bonus? You can feel good knowing some of your money will go to support other individuals in their journey towards sobriety.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How recovery is an active life-long journey
Why Jeremy is doing the work of discovering his passions outside of business
What it takes to start choosing the “slower fix”
Why self-care means steering clear of social media for Jeremy
How MOLT Clothing is giving back to a sober-living scholarship with every purchase
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Navigating Trauma and Healing When Parenting a Child Who Misuses Drugs or Alcohol, with Christopher O'Reilly
01 Aug 2024
00:52:05
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Christopher O’Reilly says it’s a mistake to think that we can just understand our way out of trauma. But he claims that healing—once we understand how to receive it—can bring intimacy and connection with other human beings in a way we might never know without those challenges.
After surviving his own struggles with substance use, Christopher should know. When he discovered the power of mindfulness meditation to examine his own choices and motivations, Christopher chose the path of change. He has spent the past 20 years helping others do the same.
After earning his master's degree, Christopher pursued certification in multiple forms of trauma and addiction counseling. He teaches mindfulness-based stress reduction classes at Brown University, but the center of his professional life is serving as Vice President of Clinical Services at Onsite’s residential trauma treatment program, Milestones.
In this episode, Christopher and I discuss the anxiety and trauma of parents who have kids misusing substances, why our children can be reluctant to talk about their own anxiety and trauma, and why substance use is sometimes their best option – for a while.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Four Key Insights From My Conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté and The Myth of Normal, with Brenda Zane
22 Sep 2022
00:25:40
ABOUT THE EPISODE: In a follow-up to episode 131 where I had a conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté about his new book, The Myth of Normal, I'm diving into four key insights I gleaned from the book and from our time together.
While there are many more, these four elements of Gabor's overall message in the book and his work as a whole stood out, and I felt it was important to share them with you. These insights are ones that parents with kids struggling with substance use will find especially relevant as they navigate the wild ride.
I share my thoughts on these key concepts from the book:
self-awareness and self-compassion
the link between stress and illness
authenticity, and
anger
If you haven't already, take a listen to episode 131, then this will be a perfect follow-up. Or, start here and get curious about the more profound conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté and queue up 131 next.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Dr. Gabor Maté on The Myth of Normal; The Roots Of Our Kids’ Struggles, Pressure On Today’s Parents, The Need For Community, And A Path To Healing
15 Sep 2022
01:01:29
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Are you ready for a deeply personal and thought-provoking hour? Dr. Gabor Maté is well known for his unflinching look at childhood trauma and how it manifests in our lives, and he does not disappoint in this raw, honest, and candid conversation. I'm even the recipient of an impromptu therapy session looking at my parenting and childhood patterns, an essential piece of work to do when our kids and underlying family dynamics struggle.
Dr. Maté's newest book, The Myth of Normal, explores themes around our unmet needs, their relationship to pain, and how we adapt to that pain to survive. As parents, it can be uncomfortable looking at ourselves as we work to heal our families and understand our kids' pain and suffering. He also shares the proven connection between repressed emotions and chronic illnesses - and ways we can begin to heal - ourselves and our families.
We cover critical topics like;
caregiver stress,
the sensitive child,
parental guilt,
a new view of ADD, ADHD and ODD diagnosis.
generational trauma (which you might not even recognize as trauma),
women's role in society as "shock absorbers."
the incongruity of the "tough love" concept,
the need for a return to the communal approach to parenting,
and two vitally interconnected needs our kids have - attachment and authenticity
plus so much more
It’s a do-not-miss episode that may shed new light on some dark areas you’ve been pondering about yourself and your child who’s struggling.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Nine Things We Never Talk About (out loud) When Our Kids Misuse Drugs or Alcohol, With Cathy Cioth
08 Sep 2022
01:01:52
ABOUT THE EPISODE: There are some thoughts, questions, and situations we face as parents of kids who are misusing substances that make us question our parenting, our sanity and even our humanity. Because these tricky topics don't often make it into the conversation, we're tackling them today as a way to air issues you may be wrestling with - but doing it in a safe, private place.
Cathy Cioth, my business partner and host of The Stream Community joins me as we talk about 9 complex topics including:
Should I be drinking or using any kind of substance myself when my child is struggling or in treatment?
Why do I not feel intimate or attractive, and am I supposed to be right now?
What does self-care actually look like because I can't imagine doing it
Am I a horrible person for thinking life might be better if my child wasn't around anymore?
I'm pretty sure my son or daughter will never speak to me, and we won't have a relationship if I impose treatment
Should I be getting a therapist too, or is it just my child who needs help?
What happens if I say, "I'm done. I can't do this anymore?"
It sucks to see my friends and family member's kids doing so well - I resent my child for what I'm going through and what I'm missing out on
Am I supposed to mortgage my house and empty my 401K to pay for treatment, and if I don't, am I a terrible parent?
Join us as we dive into the things we rarely talk about and gain some ideas and insights you can consider for your family's situation.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Her Lived Experience With Addiction Helped Create An Urban Model For Holistic, Community Based Young Adult Treatment, with The Dorm’s Amanda Fialk
01 Sep 2022
00:50:18
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
One of the biggest challenges young people who are misusing drugs and alcohol face is identifying the plan for transitioning back to the “real world” post-treatment. Young people can become vulnerable because they feel they don’t belong anywhere as they start to rebuild a new and different life that doesn’t involve substances. If they aren’t ready to hold down a job or enroll in college, where do they go? How do they spend their time without getting into trouble?
In this episode, I’m joined by Amanda Fialk, the Chief Clinical Officer of The Dorm, a safe place for young adults to find community and gain skills and tools to become independent as they seek to find their place in the world after treatment for substance use and mental health challenges. Amanda has worked hard to build in aspects of outpatient treatment that she saw were missing from her own experience.
The difference young people find at The Dorm is the holistic approach to support services and an urban, “real world” environment that still offers guidance and nurturing. Young adults receive access to long-term support as it relates to their clinical, academic, health and nutritional needs, just to name a few.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How a simple request from a staff member in her own treatment program changed the course of Amanda’s career
What prompted Amanda to leave law school and instead pursue advanced degrees in social work and mental health
What she believes makes traditional outpatient therapy programs ineffective for young adults
Why every family needs to agree on a discharge plan before a student leaves a program
Why it’s beneficial to not dive straight back into school, work, and other demands, and how parents can play a role in this important transition period
The difference between your child talking and the substances talking
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Decades Of Addiction Leads To Decades Of Recovery; A More Holistic and Compassionate Treatment Approach, With Isaiah House Founder, Mark LaPalme
25 Aug 2022
00:56:06
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Have you ever followed someone and their work so closely that you feel like you’re friends, but you’ve actually never met? That would be the case with today’s guest. I’m finally sitting down with Mark LaPalme, founder of Isaiah House, who celebrates 23 years of sobriety and has been instrumental in helping thousands of people find recovery.
In addition to all the incredible recovery programs offered at Isaiah House, it is also host to an FDA trial for the NET device. If you’ve listened to any other episodes about this treatment option you’re going to share my excitement. The NET device has the potential to not only save many more lives, but if approved, will transform the entire world of drug rehab with its ability to reduce the detox process both in duration and side effects.
Listen to discover what pain led Mark to begin self-medicating at age 11, what kept him deeply addicted to both substances and the lifestyle that goes with it, and what support he found to leave that life behind. You’ll be blown away to hear about the comprehensive approach Isaiah House is using to empower people with tools they need to discover their purpose and transform their lives in recovery.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
The seemingly harmless actions of Mark’s father that created deep emotional trauma
How key relationships enabled Mark’s drug use
About the mindset of a functioning user
Why the team at Isaiah House is committed to extended support for 11 months
What you can do when you feel powerless as a parent
How the NET device is changing everything we know about detox and recovery
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
The Importance Of Digging Deep Into The “Why” When Your Child Is Misusing Drugs Or Alcohol, With Advocate Tonia Ahern
18 Aug 2022
00:59:00
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Have you ever felt overwhelmed when you realize just how many layers there are to the addiction that is derailing your son or daughter? When we get curious and focus on asking questions, it’s incredible what we can learn about our kids. For so many, an unrecognized mental health diagnosis is at the root of their pain and substance use.
My guest today is Tonia Ahern. She’s a mom who lost her son, Rory, to opioid addiction and now fights to change legislation to support prevention, evidence-based treatment practices, recovery support programs, and family support. Tonia is also a certified recovery and parent coach who emphasizes the CRAFT method in every aspect of her practice. Not only is she a knowledgeable resource, she’s also a mom who knows exactly what you’re likely walking through.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why Tonia would not encourage you to mortgage your house to pay for treatment as a first step
How to spot the signs of an underlying mental health struggle
How Tonia was able to connect deeply with her son in the midst of his addiction
How to find and navigate your state-sponsored treatment options
Practical ways you can help make resources for recovery available for the most vulnerable
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Don't Get Derailed by Change, Plan For It When You Have A Teen or Young Adult Child Who Struggles with Substances or Addiction, with Brenda Zane
11 Aug 2022
00:28:49
ABOUT THE EPISODE: If there is one thing you can count on when your child is misusing substances or struggling with addiction and the mental health issues that come with it - it's change. Change is a constant, and you can either have your world capsized by it, or you can be intentional about planning for it to lessen its impact on you and your family.
Based on lessons learned from my own experience and that of the hundreds of families I work with, this episode will help you prepare emotionally and practically when things go right and when things go wrong.
You'll gain valuable ways to team up with your co-parent, spouse or partner to shore up your relationship and also hear ten incredibly practical things you can do that will allow you to focus on your child and next steps when change happens rather than scouring for information, finding logins and chasing down people to help.
You'll also have a chance to spend one quiet minute gathering yourself and quieting your mind, an important part of approaching this challenging time in a more healthy way.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Coaching Episode: Responding to Disrespect, Holding Boundaries, and Reducing the Overwhelm of Big Next Steps
04 Aug 2022
01:13:21
ABOUT THE EPISODE: I joke that this club of mine (The Stream Community) is the club you never want to find yourself needing an invite to. But here we are, doing this messy, exhausting, and entirely meaningful work together. I am so grateful yet another one of these moms is sharing her story with you.
In this coaching episode, I am joined by Jamie, a long-time member of The Stream. She shares the impact of pre-term birth and how other learning and health challenges have complicated her son’s academic success, social life, and drug use. We discuss how her ex-husband’s own addiction has impacted her son and his attempts at sobriety. Additionally, she thoughtfully unpacks the difficulty (and gift) that being an empath can be for our kids.
If you’re struggling to find ways to support your child because of their extreme displays of disrespect, you’ll want to listen to take a lesson from Jamie’s book. She’s doing so many things well, and yet she’s aware of the boundaries she has to protect to save their relationship.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why kids who are empaths are vulnerable to addiction
Strategic ways to stay regulated when your son or daughter isn’t able to
Why being your child’s ‘safe person is a double-edged sword
What incredible wins Jamie has been witnessing in her son
Why “projecting positive” impacts everyone in the picture
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Creating Impact From Tragedy with MAPDA’s Janet Janes
28 Jul 2022
00:49:42
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Mamas are so fierce. They are incredible protectors- and not just of their own children, but of the whole village. My guest today is Janet Janes, is a warrior mama and founder of MAPDA (Mothers Against Prescription Drug Abuse). She is bravely telling the story of the loss of her son to one methadone pill in hopes of saving others from this unimaginable loss.
Every five minutes, someone dies of a drug overdose. What’s worse is that this tragedy is entirely preventable. But as a society, we’re so unaware of how powerful these drugs are. While she is proud to advocate for this cause, Janet shares how intentional she has to be about self-care to prevent burnout as she tells her story again and again.
We also talk about how grief can absolutely undo us and make us strangers to ourselves. This episode is a reminder that when we have the courage to deal with the shame of finding ourselves here, there is help and hope waiting for us- and our children. Be sure to share this episode and what you learn with someone you love.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How Janet was able to turn her pain into action
Why we’re going numb to the rampant use of prescription drug abuse
Some of the bright spots of the work Janet is doing
Why we don’t have time to worry about having uncomfortable conversations with our kids
What Janet is learning about herself in this stage of her healing
EPISODE RESOURCES:
MAPDA: Mothers Against Prescription Drug Abuse (Website)
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Three Keys To A Positive Approach For Parenting A Child Misusing Drugs Or Alcohol; Courage, Confidence, And Compassion, With Brenda Zane
21 Jul 2022
00:27:40
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Research has shown that a positive, non-confrontational approach to helping our kids make positive changes in their lives is the most effective when they’re misusing substances. In this episode, I share three keys to shifting your words, actions, and mindset in a more positive direction using courage, confidence, and compassion.
After listening to this episode you'll walk away with:
an understanding of what motivates a young person to change their substance use and what doesn't
why courage is an inside job and how to boost yours
how we can increase our confidence even when we're living in a foreign world filled with stigma
why parenting from a place of compassion is important if we want our kids to make healthier decisions
a solution for the times when you bomb your parenting attempt that models good behavior to your child
a positive-parenting tip you can use today with your son or daughter who's misusing drugs or alcohol, no practice required.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Six Ideas When You're Looking For The Escape Hatch While Parenting A Child Struggling With Drugs and Alcohol, with Brenda Zane
25 Jul 2024
00:27:35
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Upon returning from vacation, I started to notice a theme in our community and my friend groups - there are a lot of exhausted, brain-fried parents who are looking for an escape from the day-to-day strain of having a child who misuses or is addicted to substances. From spouse and partner relationships to our kids themselves, we sometimes need time to tap out and escape.
This episode will give you six simple (not necessarily easy) things you can do when you’re looking for an escape hatch to help navigate through difficulties. You’ll also hear about our upcoming Signature Fall Retreat: Restoration Mom and an invitation to dads who may want an escape of their own.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Coaching Episode: Creative Options to Reduce Anxiety and Build Confidence & Independence Post-High School and Residential Treatment
14 Jul 2022
01:14:54
ABOUT THE EPISODE: There are many stages of recovery, but one of the hardest to prepare for is when your child transitions home after treatment. Then factor in your semi-recovering child becoming a legal adult (but still needs support,) COVID, bullying, an eating disorder, and insincere friends and you’ve got a perfect storm of challenges.
This is exactly the season Lynn, a member of the Stream Community, shares in this coaching episode. You’ll be blown away by how intentional and involved Lynn has been at every turn of this confusing journey. But as you’ll hear from our conversation, the decision to heal is still ultimately up to our kids, especially as they become young adults.
Listen as we explore several options for Lynn to offer her son as they establish new rhythms in their family post-residential treatment and high-school graduation. We also take some time to get specific about what self-care looks like for Lynn.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why there are often so many layers to the pain our kids face
About the moment Lynn realized that her parenting toolbox was empty
How COVID created a huge gap in therapeutic support
Why prioritizing fun is important when establishing new family expectations
How Lynn identifies what self-care looks like for her in this transition
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Parenting in the Real World: 5 Moms Share The Key Lessons Learned From Parenting Kids Who Are Misusing Drugs & Alcohol
07 Jul 2022
01:02:29
ABOUT THE EPISODE: No matter where you are on the journey with a child misusing substances, chances are you've faced two very dangerous lies:
1. that you've failed as a parent, and/or 2. that you're alone in the fight for your child
In this week's Hopestream episode, I have the honor of introducing you to five incredible women who, together in The Stream Community, have faced these lies and additional terrifying moments in parenting. They were generous enough to tell their stories which are all individually unique, and yet they're all known and understood by one another. These moms also share their biggest ah-ha moments with you, which you won't want to miss.
The Stream is a private online community I created where we help moms connect with each other. We help you gain knowledge about how to have better communication and relationships with your kids and help you get as healthy as possible. It’s specifically for moms of kids who are misusing substances, in treatment, or working toward recovery.
If you are encouraged by these brave women and their honesty, I invite you to join us. The first two weeks are always free. We’re saving a spot for you.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why it’s critical to stay present in your journey-even taking it hour by hour
How these women are discovering how to become experts in self-compassion
What is in your control vs. what is not in this battle
Why The Stream Community has helped these moms find the balance between denial and too much positivity
What an impact approaching their kids with empathy and understanding has had on their relationships
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
A Better Way to Parent a Child Struggling With Substance Use or Addiction: The Compassion Antidote, With Cathy Taughinbaugh
30 Jun 2022
01:00:08
ABOUT THE EPISODE: “It’s not mine. I’m just carrying it for a friend.” Have you heard this one before? As many times as that line has been used, it’s still a really common cover in the moment we confront our kids.
Yet, sometimes our kids are really good at hiding their substance use or addiction because the signs are actually not obvious. It’s shocking and confusing when our incredible, thoughtful, and high-achieving kids are battling something so dangerous.
In this episode, I’m joined by author, and certified parent and life coach, Cathy Taughinbaugh. Cathy is a Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) trained coach through the Center for Motivation and Change and a parent coach with the Partnership to End Addiction.
Cathy is an expert in helping parents connect with their kids through an approach that is driven by compassion and positivity which she shares in her book. If you’re tired of blaming, shaming, and lashing out in response to your child’s addiction, this conversation is going to encourage you and remind you that there is another way to address the problems and the pain.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
The most common mistakes parents make in setting boundaries with their kids
What the CRAFT approach is and why it’s statistically proven to be more effective to guide kids toward the path of recovery
Many of the reasons why your child’s addiction is actually NOT your fault
Why becoming an expert in self-care will always be the biggest gift to your child
Why your silver lining will almost always begin with connection
How focusing on your child’s strengths is powerful and not “going soft” or naive
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
3 Ideas For Combating Parenting Burnout And Empathy Fatigue When Your Child is Misusing Drugs or Alcohol, with Brenda Zane
23 Jun 2022
00:21:39
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Getting real this week about the mental and physical burnout and empathy fatigue we can feel as parents when we're trying our hardest with our kids who are struggling with substance use. It's not often talked about but it's real, so we'll dive into what it can feel like and 3 things you can start doing today to turn it around.
You'll also hear a secret tip about taking care of yourself that might just help when you're tempted to put yourself last. It's a snack-sized episode that will help if you're running on empty and need to start feeling better but aren't sure where to start.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Insights, Wisdom And Coping Strategies For Parents Of Kids Struggling With Substance Use From A Mom Who's Been There, Twice, With Cathy Cioth, Director of The Stream Community
16 Jun 2022
00:53:56
ABOUT THE EPISODE: How does a parent cope when you have not one, but two kids struggling with substance misuse and all the issues that surround it? This episode provides inspiration and hope if you're trying to navigate this experience with your child from a mom who watched her family implode when her 17 and 19-year-old kids simultaneously spiraled out of control with drugs and alcohol.
Cathy Cioth has seen the world of adolescent and young adult substance use from all angles and shares openly in this conversation about her family's journey which included wilderness therapy, 'gooning', an unwelcomed intervention, and lots of coping skills. Cathy is now the Community Director for The Stream and supports hundreds of parents as they work to get and stay healthier through this challenging season of life.
Listen in to hear:
how Cathy and her husband became aware that both of their kids were struggling with drugs and alcohol
the differences between their kid's journey to and through treatment
how Cathy and her husband decided on wilderness therapy for their treatment-resistant daughter, and how they got her there
what it was like to have an intervention with their 19-year-old college student and how it went
what tools Cathy used to stay sane when both of her kids were struggling and then in treatment at the same time
Cathy's path to finding The Stream and what it provided her as a member
Cathy's role now as Director of the community
Her words of wisdom for any parent currently at the end of their rope
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Coaching episode: Navigating Life Post-Treatment: Boundaries With A College Age Son, Lots Of Advice And Re-Focusing On Self Care
09 Jun 2022
00:52:16
ABOUT THE EPISODE: This coaching episode covers a lot of ground with a mom who is doing so much right, yet she questions her actions due to lots of advice from others, her mom-intuition and the heightened sense of urgency from her nephew's recent fatal fentanyl poisoning.
This mom and member of The Stream Community is co-parenting her college-age son with her ex-husband and while they're not in total alignment with each other their son seems to be doing "ok" at the time. But because she knows he's using substances while he's away at college, she wonders what to do.
Listen in to hear how:
after going to wilderness therapy and boarding school, her son is still misusing substances
she's learned to set and communicate her boundaries when her son comes home from college
mom wonders if she should be more forceful - or back off - about her son getting therapy or more treatment
her son isn't experiencing too many negative consequences, so what can she do?
parents who have already paid a lot for treatment can maximize their investment
we talk about what happens if her son violates her boundaries, but she still wants to spend time with him
mom has a goal of getting over her night terrors
the loss of her nephew to a fentanyl poisoning is impacting her decisions
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
A Harm Reduction Approach To Risky Behavior In Teens And Young Adults, With Dee Dee Stout
02 Jun 2022
01:07:47
ABOUT THE EPISODE: When your son or daughter refuses or can't seem to embrace abstinence, what do you do? Harm reduction is an approach that can help navigate your child to safer territory and...it's confusing .
Dee Dee Stout is someone Psychology Today includes in their list of "the top 10 harm reduction names you should know" so I was thrilled she agreed to come back for a second episode of Hopestream.
We dove into:
what harm reduction is and isn't,
how we can strengthen relationships with our kids when they're misusing substances,
how to have better conversations,
how to improve our family dynamics,
lapses and the dreaded pre-lapse
AA's stance on medication for addiction treatment (MAT)
and her answer to a common question parents have, " when does harm reduction become enabling with my child?"
It's a hugely informative episode with one of the foremost leaders in the field of harm reduction.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Watch Out For The Near Enemies of Love and Compassion, And A Tip To Thrive Through The Difficult Graduation Season, With Brenda Zane
26 May 2022
00:26:22
ABOUT THE EPISODE: The concept of near enemies is helpful to understand when you’re working to parent from an intentional place and avoid unhealthy patterns with your son or daughter. In this episode, you’ll learn what a near enemy is and hear two common ones that show up when parenting a child with substance use issues. You'll discover why these sneaky and sometimes damaging emotional responses can work their way into your relationships without you even knowing, and a simple test and solution you can start using today.
I then provide a tried and true tip for getting through graduation season without losing your mind and offer two ways you can make it to July with your emotions intact and be even healthier and happier than you were in May. It's a snack-sized, actionable episode that's perfect for an early summer dog walk or quick errand run.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Clinging To Hope: An Epic Saga Of Addiction, Medical Innovation, Loss, Recovery, Hope and Unconditional Love
19 May 2022
01:55:03
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Sometimes, there's a story so unbelievable it's hard to know where to start when telling it. This is one of those. My guests are mother (Pattie Vargas) and daughter (Rebekah Mutch), and they trusted me with sharing their family's journey to hell plus the miraculous twist that no one saw coming.
Intertwined with their family's dark tour through decades of addiction is the little-known story of a 50-year-old medical breakthrough that's saved rockstars like Eric Clapton and Keith Richards from their drug addictions. Adding to the storyline, you'll hear how my own son's struggle with substances and the forced isolation of early COVID led to the unlikely convergence of us all.
It's a binge-worthy episode that merits its own NETFLIX series. You'll come away awestruck by the determination of a Scottish surgeon, the power of a mother's fierce love, the human ability to triumph over addiction, and the realization that parents should never stop clinging to hope.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Answers To Common CRAFT Questions Parents Have When Their Child Is Struggling With Addiction or Experimenting With Drugs, With Erica Lubetkin, LMHC
12 May 2022
01:01:35
ABOUT THE EPISODE: CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) is an evidence-based approach to motivating and inviting someone to make changes in their behavior. It's proven to be an effective way for parents to help their kids who are misusing drugs or alcohol, and is easily accessible to learn and put into practice.
In this episode, I invited CRAFT-certified therapist Erica Lubetkin, LMHC to join me to answer common questions parents have about using CRAFT in the real world. Erica was my guest on episode 96 talking about relapse, and I knew she was the perfect person to dive into the more nuanced details of this parenting approach.
We covered important topics like:
ideas for parents when you see a pre-lapse
sober music festivals
what to do when your child just won't talk or engage with you
how to use CRAFT when your child doesn't live with or near you
tips when your child doesn't see that their substance use is a problem
ideas for using pop-culture trends like "hangxiety" as a connection point
thoughts on being a safe space and also giving consequences
what are motivational hooks & windows of opportunity?
what you can do when you're not on the same page as the person you're co-parenting with
the CRAFT skill Erica sees parents have the hardest time with
and other fun things
EPISODE RESOURCES:
Hopestream episode 96 with Erica speaking about how to use a CRAFT-informed response to relapse
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Coaching Episode: A Season of Grief and Loss Reveals the Seeds of Hope, with Leah
18 Jul 2024
00:47:28
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
We all have more going on in our lives than just kids who are misusing substances. But Leah is currently facing an overload of grief and loss including caring for her father-in-law through in-home hospice, the loss of her first grandchild as a newborn, and now caring in-home for her mother and sister-in-law, both of whom are suffering from alzheimers and dementia. Her oldest son, who’s been struggling with substance misuse for eight years, has recently been expressing suicidal ideation. All of this while Leah is working and raising her youngest, a 14 year old son.
It’s hard to overstate the stress and trauma this Hopestream mom has dealt with over the past year. Despite all of this, Leah moves forward with positivity and hope. Some days though, the anxiety pushes her to work herself to exhaustion to gain some control - any control - over a world that seems increasingly unpredictable and scary.
In this episode, Leah and I discuss the best perspective she can take on this season of her life, the good it will bring about, how she wants to look back on it in the future, and why the loss of her newborn grandchild may have been a turning point for her oldest son.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
With An Almost 18-Year-Old Who's Smoking Pot Daily, Mom Wants to Know, Am I Doing Enough?
05 May 2022
00:49:33
ABOUT THE EPISODE: It's a question asked by so many parents, "Am I doing enough?"
In this coaching episode Susan shares how her almost 18-year-old son isn't in legal trouble, is doing fairly well in school, works, and also smokes pot daily, which has her worried. She wonders if she'll regret it down the road if she doesn't engage him in formal treatment before he turns 18.
It's a story many can relate to, knowing your son or daughter could be worse, and at the same time knowing they could be better. Susan talks about what she believes led to her son's substance use, including a divorce from her husband who was dealing with his own addiction.
She works on getting clear about what she most fears, and what she can and can't live with related to her son's substance use. We brainstorm communication tactics that might allow Susan and her son to have more real conversations and talk about the possibilities of more serious drug use.
I can't thank Susan enough for her vulnerability in allowing her coaching session to be used as a way to help other parents in the struggle.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
What Parents Need to Know About Trauma Informed and Responsive Transport and Interventions, with Heather Hayes
28 Apr 2022
00:56:18
ABOUT THE EPISODE: You've likely seen the A&E show "Intervention" where families work with a professional team to encourage a loved one to go to drug or alcohol treatment, and wondered how much of that is reality vs. Hollywood show. In this episode, you'll hear from someone who's been an interventionist on the show, is a Master's Level Licensed Counselor, Board Certified Interventionist (CIP) and Certified Arise Interventionist. She brings 40 years of experience in the field of addiction and mental health to this very important conversation.
This episode will be helpful if you've questioned what it could be like to take the step of an intervention or of hiring someone to transport your son or daughter to treatment. It's a daunting and scary consideration for most parents and understandably so.
My guest today is Heather Hayes, who has developed the Respectful Adolescent Transport Protocol and Trauma-Informed Responsive Intervention which is used with the families she engages with. We dove deep into topics like;
whether treatment needs to be voluntary to be effective,
Heather's own substance use, treatment and recovery journey,
why don't we have addiction drills and education like we do for fire, earthquakes or active shooters when it's more likely to kill our kids
the average age of first substance use and why that's important
the state of treatment today for teens and young people
what can trauma-informed and responsive adolescent transport look like?
external vs self-traumatization
family involvement in the intervention or transport process
what parents can do if they suspect drug use to help inform their decisions
things parents can and should do (and not do) if you're considering treatment for a teen or college-age child
what actions support your child's health vs contributing to their demise
why she prefers to think about fierce protection vs parental denial
why she believes it's important for parents to step out of their comfort zone when it comes to treatment
the unique aspect of substance use and addiction that's more hopeful than any other disease
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Dr. Anna Lembke, Author Of Dopamine Nation On Addiction, The Pain/Pleasure Balance And A Counterintuitive, Drug-Free Way To Find Homeostasis
21 Apr 2022
00:45:26
ABOUT THE EPISODE: If you've ever wondered what dopamine has to do with the way we interact with decision making, pain-relief, pleasure-seeking, addiction and basic human functioning, you're going to want to tune into this episode. I got to sit down with Dr. Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation; Finding Balance In The Age of Indulgence, to talk about all of this and more.
Dopamine Nation is a fantastic read if you want to understand more about the science of the brain, addiction, and why we (and our kids) do the things we do. But we cover more than just dopamine, we also talked about the endless pursuit of instant pleasure our society has adopted and why that's so dangerous - especially for young brains.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Finding Ways To Reduce Your Suffering When Parenting A Child Misusing or Addicted to Drugs or Alcohol, with Brenda Zane
14 Apr 2022
00:21:33
ABOUT THE EPISODE: The emotional distress a parent feels when their child is struggling with or addicted to drugs or alcohol is incomprehensible to the average person. It can begin to debilitate you in ways that impact your day-to-day ability to cope, your health, career, friendships, and family relationships.
Through the lens of the second arrow principal, I share ways that parents can minimize their suffering, anxiety, emotional anguish and isolation while their child is actively engaged in misusing substances, or in the early and sometimes fragile days of recovery.
I share a recent experience where I used some emotional self-regulation tools to dodge the second arrow coming my way and give you 10+ simple and practical ideas for reducing your suffering.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Surviving The Perfect Storm Of Challenging Kids, Aging And Menopause; This One's For The Mommas, with Dr. Robin Sinclair, ND
07 Apr 2022
00:59:05
ABOUT THE EPISODE: It's a cruel twist that just as we moms enter the perimenopause and menopausal phase of life, our kids are at the age when they may be experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol. This combo is the perfect storm of hormones, uncertainty and emotions, and we're often not well equipped to manage it well.
I reached out to my incredible doctor to chat about all things hormones, aging, sleep, digestion, and of course, menopause. But this episode isn't just for the "old ladies" because as you'll hear from Dr. Robin, chronic stress can cause an early onset (30's and 40's!) of menopause and all its fun symptoms.
You'll want to dive into this important episode if you're struggling with weight gain, loss of sleep, brain fog, emotional roller coasters, night sweats, hot flashes - all.the.fun. It's an episode just for the ladies, although men might get a valuable peek into the very real challenges we face during this time in life.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Teasing Apart The Complexities Of Gender Identity, Neurodiversity, Substance Use And Mental Health In Young People, With Sean Garcia
31 Mar 2022
00:52:01
ABOUT THE EPISODE: If there's a perfect storm of complexity and confusion for parents of adolescents and young adults it's the intersection of a mental health condition, neurodiversity, substance use and gender identity. It's overwhelming to know which aspect of these to address first, or do you address them all at once?
Sean Garcia is a licensed therapist in Northern California and is one of a handful of trans-identified clinicians in Silicon Valley. He is extremely passionate about supporting transgender people and their families and we dove deep into how he does that, in particular with young people.
Sean shares his own experience of coming out to his family and painfully delayed transition, which caused him to spend many years chronically ill, and overachieving in order to validate to the world that he was "ok."
In this episode, you'll hear so much that will help if you're the parent of a young person struggling with any, or all of these life challenges including:
the extra challenges of neurodiverse individuals when it comes to gender identity
Sean's challenge to parents who believe their child's sexual or gender identity is a trend and the popular thing right now
how he decides what issue to explore first in therapy when there are multiple factors involved
how a parent's fear often matches a teen's fears around sexual identity, and that they have their own coming out experience
common mistakes or missteps parents make that can negatively impact their LGBTQ kids
one simple question parents can ask their children as they explore their gender and/or sexual identity
risk factors parents might not think about when they have a neuro-diverse child with gender identity struggles and/or substance use and mental health issues
the first things to do, and not to do, when your child comes out (A-T-A)
what an affirming home environment might look like
and tons more
This is a do-not-miss episode for parents of these complex kids, and will give you actionable ideas of how to help your son or daughter regardless of their current struggles.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
9 Dangerous and Negative Thought Patterns, And What To Do Instead, for Parents With Kids Misusing Drugs or Alcohol, With Brenda Zane
24 Mar 2022
00:29:11
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Oh, the places we go in our minds and thoughts when we have a child struggling with substances and mental health. I've been there and know many parents struggle with not letting their thoughts paralyze them in the day-to-day ups and downs they experience.
In this episode I cover nine of the most common unhelpful and unhealthy thinking patterns parents fall into and talk about ways to shift those to a more productive place. If you tend to catastrophize, judge, doubt, criticize or ruminate about your life or your child's life, this is your episode. You'll walk away being more aware of how to recognize these unhealthy patterns and learn ways to change your thinking.
EPISODE RESOURCES:
NET Treatment FDA Clinical Trials: call Isaiah House: 859 - 375 - 9200
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Coaching Episode: How To Cope And Find Contentment With A Son Home From Treatment, Unmotivated, Anti-Everything, And Disconnected From The Family
17 Mar 2022
00:59:18
ABOUT THE EPISODE: In this coaching episode, you'll hear the frustration, confusion and sadness a mom experiences when her 16-year-old son returns from wilderness and residential treatment only to hate where he lives, return to smoking pot, barely makes an effort at school, and doesn't want to be part of the family. On the other hand, he's independent, has a job, accepts natural consequences, and is very resourceful.
Jane is trying to find the right balance of stepping in and stepping back, and truly wants to find peace and contentment. She struggles to know where she should intervene with her son's school, how to set and hold firm boundaries and desperately would like the family unit to be more cohesive than it currently is.
Listen in to hear the real, day-to-day struggle parents often face when their son or daughter returns from treatment and has to re-enter life under a whole new set of circumstances.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
What Parents Need To Know About Substance Use and Trauma; What It Is And Isn't, And Why We Can't Ignore It, With Steve Sawyer
10 Mar 2022
00:52:08
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Just hearing the word "trauma" can cause a parent's stomach to turn in knots and create feelings of guilt and regret. We believe we should be able to spare our kids from trauma and might push this aspect aside when seeking solutions or resources.
Steve Sawyer is an expert in trauma and adolescents and joined me for a deeply educational and enlightening conversation around trauma, and why as parents, we need to understand it better.
Steve helps by answering questions like, "if my kids were all raised in the same environment, why is only one using drugs?" Or, "if my child has experienced trauma, won't sending them to wilderness therapy or treatment cause even more damage?" Or, "My child has had a wonderful, trauma-free life, I don't think trauma is an issue."
In this episode, you'll learn:
what trauma is, and isn't
one of the most commonly missed causes of trauma in young people
why adolescents often turn to substances in the wake of untreated trauma
how trauma impacts a young person's brain differently than an adult
the 6 types of nervous system dysregulation
why trauma-informed doesn't mean trauma-responsive
how trauma-informed care is changing in the field of wilderness therapy
new, more trauma-sensitive models for transporting kids to wilderness
the role of powerlessness and aloneness in young people
caregiver responsiveness and the impact it has relative to trauma
the difference between developmental trauma and PTSD
a simple project parents can do to assess the need for out of home therapy and transport
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Using Rituals To Withstand Distress, Build Resilience And Counteract Triggers When Your Child is Misusing Drugs Or Alcohol (and a little pep talk) with Brenda Zane
03 Mar 2022
00:23:30
ABOUT THE EPISODE: There's never a shortage of discomfort, distress, or triggers when you have a son or daughter who's misusing drugs or alcohol. You can live in a constant state of unrest and feel as if you have no control over anything.
Taking a bit of inspiration from a Peloton instructor during my ride the other day, I share in this episode how parents can use simple rituals to withstand the varying levels of chaos, unpredictability, and frequent triggers in their day-to-day lives.
I also distinguish the difference between a ritual and a habit, and why that's important when you're looking to calm your nervous system. You'll walk away with ideas of rituals that you can use or modify so you get immediate impact from the episode.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Filling the Accountability Gap: Taking Parents Out Of Being The “Sobriety Police,” with AJ Diaz
11 Jul 2024
00:49:53
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
When AJ Diaz left his sober living home after a year-long stay, he got the same thing everyone else did - a sheet of paper that essentially said, "Here is your relapse prevention plan.We wish you the best." AJ felt in his gut this was insufficient to support people in early recovery, and after years of working in the field, he now knows he was right.
AJ says staying sober within the four walls of treatment isn’t all that hard. Individuals receive hot meals, supportive staff, structure and routine, and socialization with others facing the same challenges. It's when people - especially young people - leave treatment that the world hits them like a ton of bricks. They come face to face with relationships and complications that can disregulate everything they've been practicing, and without the buffer of substances to help them cope.
Seeing a desperate need for continuing outpatient care, AJ and his business partner created a supportive early-recovery program called Accountable. In this episode, AJ and I discuss the most common issues families face with a young person in early recovery (many will sound very familiar), why Accountable removes the responsibility of drug testing from parents and spouses, and why fathers often find it difficult to participate in approaches like CRAFT.
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Coaching Episode #4: Positivity And A Resilient Spirit: Key Ingredients For The Mom Of An 18-Year-Old On The Upswing From His Opiate Addiction
24 Feb 2022
00:49:20
ABOUT THE EPISODE: When you're the mom of a teen who's been struggling with addiction for years it can be easy to get discouraged and frustrated. It's hard to understand why it happens to your family, difficult to watch other people's kids do well, and you wonder what's the right next thing to do.
In this coaching/inspiration episode, you'll meet Cielo, a mom who's been through an unimaginable struggle with her son and who has one of the most positive and resilient spirits I've ever seen. Cielo is a member of The Stream who always brings a smile and sense of hope and strength to our events and calls.
You'll hear how she's navigated her son's addiction to opiates while raising two other kids, maintaining her marriage oh, and holding down two jobs. It's an episode that will lift you up if you're feeling like you can't keep going and was an absolute pleasure to record with this incredible woman.
EPISODE RESOURCES:
Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome information PDF (download)
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Truly Conscious Parenting, What It Means To Do Your Work and The Question He Never Gets Asked, with Dr. Brad Reedy
17 Feb 2022
00:47:05
ABOUT THE EPISODE: Dr. Brad Reedy is a household name in the world of adolescent mental health and substance use treatment, is founder of a well-respected wilderness therapy program, Evoke, author of two books on parenting, and podcast host of over 450 episodes of Finding You, so sitting down and chatting was quite an honor.
Dr. Reedy and I talked about a wide range of topics mostly focused on a parent's way of being and how he helps parents in their search for being better for their kids. We talked about:
why he doesn't prescribe actions for parents to take with their kids,
what healthy attachment actually is,
the backstory on why he chose to become a therapist and work with young people,
the question parents never ask him,
the interesting advice he most often receives from people,
how he can tell when a parent starts to "get it" and are on the path to more conscious parenting
a lightbulb moment he had with his therapist
what it means for parents to "do their work"
and his thoughts on the long-term impact of COVID on our kids
It's a very special episode with a very special guest!
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
After 99 Episodes Here's What I Know For Sure About Parenting Kids With Substance Use and Addiction Issues, With Brenda Zane
10 Feb 2022
00:40:46
ABOUT THE EPISODE: In the past 2 years, I've had the privilege of speaking with over 50 of the top experts in the fields of psychology, addiction, adolescents, parenting, and specific treatment modalities. I've asked the hard questions, listened with curiosity, and dug deep to find the right people to help parents who have a child experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Through the 99 episodes I've created since January of 2020, there are 11 insights and truths that have risen to the top over and over - transformational findings I believe to be instrumental in helping you as a parent of one of these special kids, and in helping your child as well.
In this episode, I share those 11 key observations and resources for learning more about them. You'll find a downloadable PDF with each insight and the resources linked at www.brendazane.com/100.
Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.