Hello Hayes – Details, episodes & analysis

(Watch this episode on YouTube.) Today’s episode is all about the thrilling yet sometimes messy and confusing world of crushes. We’ve got three letters: "I have a pattern of falling for people who are unavailable. Should I tell my new friend that I have a crush on her, even though she's in a longterm relationship?" "I told my coworker I had feelings for him. I think he has feelings for me too but...he has a girlfriend." "I'm engaged to my boyfriend of 7 years, but I have a relentless crush on someone new. Should I still get married?" Send your letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com. 0:00 What to expect in this video 00:47 This week’s letters  1:22 Letter 1: “Can I be friends with my crush?” 2:50 Response to Letter 1 begins  4:43 How we use B&W thinking to protect ourselves 9:00 Failure is not regression  12:21 Script: “We can’t be friends”  13:02 Letter 2: “I’m in love with my co-worker” 14:45 Response to Letter 2 begins 15:55 What’s spiking my Hayesy senses  18:30 Stop hoping he’s going to change  20:59 Finding the love you deserve 21:31 Letter 3: “I’m not sure I want to marry my fiance”  22:43 Response begins  24:45 Pros of couple therapy  25:41 Hayes’s thoughts on “forever” 27:25 “Relationships are hard” 28:00 What your crush means Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when you're invited to an event with a plus one...but you have no one to bring? Is it better to go alone or to bring a friend? On this week’s episode of the Hello Hayes podcast we’re chatting going to events solo, finding confidence in yourself, and doing the hard thing because you can. I also share the story of how I embarrassed myself in front of my work hero a couple of weeks ago...and how I'm reframing it so I don't obsess about this any further! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode covers work friendships, the pitfalls of perfectionism, the merits of over-communication, what I wish I knew when I started working, how to have awkward conversations with work besties, and probably more. Who knows where this brain will go! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[Watch video on YouTube.] "My girlfriend and I have different relationships with our appearances, and social media is a part of that. We’re both girls in our early 20s and this is my first serious relationship. She loves to get dressed up and take photos and videos of herself to post, whereas I don’t really post selfies at all. What a silly thing to worry about, right? And yet, I find that I continue to struggle with it." Welcome to Hello Hayes, an advice podcast where we don't claim to have all the answers, but we do try to find them. Together. In today's episode, we're talking about how to handle social media in relationships -- specifically when one person likes to post selfies and the other doesn't. You can find me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/afhayes Follow along for more episodes of Hello Hayes: https://www.youtube.com/@alexandrahayesrobinson?sub_confirmation=1 👋 SUBMIT AN ADVICE LETTER 👋 Send your letters to Hayes at hellohayesadvice at gmail dot com. Pro tip: Use "YouTube subscriber" in the subject line, plus a few words that describe your story. Like this: "YouTube subscriber + Why do I feel so sad around the holidays?" ✍️ LIKE TO READ? ✍️ 10,000+ Hayeselnuts and curious thinkers read my weekly(ish) newsletter on Substack, where I publish my most personal writing and advice columns. All content is free, but paid subscriptions are available to those who are able to support my work financially! You get bonus audio episodes and a "cut the line" pass to my advice column. 5/month or 50/year! Subscribe: https://hellohayes.substack.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Watch this episode on YouTube. In this episode, Hayes celebrates getting her motivation back and shares the top 10 tips that have helped her this year. 👋 SUBMIT AN ADVICE LETTER 👋 Send your letters to Hayes at hellohayesadvice at gmail dot com. Pro tip: Use "YouTube subscriber" in the subject line, plus a few words that describe your story. Like this: "YouTube subscriber + Why do I feel so sad around the holidays?" ✍️ LIKE TO READ? ✍️ Join the 10,000+ Hayeselnuts and curious thinkers who read my weekly(ish) newsletter on Substack, where I publish my most personal writing and advice columns. All content is free, but paid subscriptions are available to those who can support my work financially! You get bonus audio episodes and a "cut the line" pass to my advice column. 5/month or 50/year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[Watch this episode on YouTube.] In this week's episode of the HELLO HAYES podcast, I answer an advice letter about how to deepen connections with new friends in a new city. Send me your letters at hellohayesadvice at gmail dot com. Listen to Carlye's podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/show/6aarIjhCYglA4gn8e1H2nl Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[Watch this episode on YouTube] Today I'm answering two letters from our community about feeling excluded: one takes place in a wedding (bridesmaid stuff), another in a group chat. I also give the full backstory on the Reese Witherspoon story I shared on my Instagram (@afhayes) last week, and why that moment feels so important for me. Listen to my conversation on The Bright Side here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6tlanMiHjaYTFMk6bktrRj Timestamps: :00 - Introducing episode theme 1:12 - Why this episode is a little different 2:40 - The Bright Side podcast interview 3:28 - My fear of interviews 5:57 - The advice I gave myself before the interview 10:27 - Eating too much of a gummy 11:20 - REESE WITHERSPOON!!!! 13:10 - My break from TikTok 14:29 - The takeaway for all of us 16:49 - Bemused Bridesmaid: "My Friend Isn't a Bridesmaid and Feels Left Out" (Letter 1) 19:00 - My response to Bemused Bridesmaid 31:37 - Ousted: "My Friends Don't Respond to Me in the Group Chat" 33:33 - My response to Ousted 47:40 - Lonely: "My OG Besties Went on Vacation Without Me" 49:40 - Questions for YOU to answer in the YouTube comments! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[video available on YouTube] Today on the pod I talk about turning 31 and unpack all the complicated and contradictory things I feel about my birthday. Then, around 15 minutes in, I do a rapid fire Q+A of some of YOUR questions about birthdays, including (but not limited to): Is it fair to expect my partner to throw me a birthday party? Why am I always disappointed even though I expect NOTHING on my birthday? How do you (me, Hayes) feel about physically aging? AND MORE! There's no longform Hello Hayes advice column this week, just the two of us chatting. I hope you enjoy the change of pace, it was nice to just sit and reflect with you. See you next time! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Hayes writes a letter to IMPENDING 50-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN, who is in her mid-20s and feels embarrassed...about everything. We talk about shame and how to wrangle it, and model what a truly loving conversation with yourself feels like. Thanks for listening! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the show, for the very first time, Hayes sits down to get advice from her dear friend and author of NEW HAPPY, Stephanie Harrison. We talk about everything from how to support friends during a tough season of their life to Hayes's very personal (and hopefully relatable!) struggle with work. Pre-order Stephanie's book here. Follow The New Happy here. Follow Stephanie here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices