Feral Attraction – Details, episodes & analysis

On this week’s show we open with a discussion of the sexualization of animals, and the various forms such sexualization can take (zoophilia, bestiality, zoosadism). Guest host Klik Wolf joins us to discuss our main topic, toxic popularity — we talk about how the desire to become popular can turn some well-meaning furs into people they don’t want to be. We close with advice about becoming more dominant in bed.

Viro: Welcome back to Feral Attraction! Joining me as a guest host this week is Klik Wolf. Klik, why don’t you take a moment to introduce yourself?

Klik: Hello, I'm klik Wolf. I'm an aspiring indie game dev and adult performer and I've been in the furry fandom for over 8 years but have just recently started getting involved in the community.

Introduction topic

What forms can sexualization of animals take?

Zoophilia

Taking a sexual interest in animals

Fantasizing about animals or animal parts in a sexual way

May include feral art / roleplay

Bestiality

Having sexual contact with an animal

Zoosadism

Torturing an animal for the purpose of sexual gratification

What are the ethics of having a sexual interest in animals?

Should we be tolerant of non-offending zoophiles?

What are the ethics of thought crimes?

What is the legality?

Sexual contact with animals is illegal in many jurisdictions, including most of the United States

Hawaii, Kentucky, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Vermont, West Virginia and Wyoming are the only states that lack explicit anti-bestiality laws

Toxic Popularity

What is the purpose of fandom?

The furry fandom was created to be a place where anyone could be accepted and supported, a fandom where people could forget about shallow ideas like popularity and enjoy the company of others without worrying about social pretenses. Unfortunately, many furs don't feel like this is the case.

How does popularity in the fandom actually work?

What tends to get social media attention

Often, things that are quite impersonal

Positivity

Memes

Relatable sentiments

Fursuit pics

Humor/Puns

Smut

Porn

What tends to make people avoid you

Often, things that are quite personal

Drama

Negativity

Contrarianism

(unless you’re popular specifically for being a troll)

Neediness

Desperation

Awkwardness

Inappropriateness

Cliques

Many groups of friends in the fandom are essentially by invitation only

It can be frustrating to attempt to befriend someone who is part of a clique

The value of a clique lies in there being an “outgroup” of people who supposedly “aren’t worthy” of being in

You do not need to internalize the message that you “aren’t worthy” just because a particular clique seems closed off to you

What are the downsides of popularity?

Haters

Some people will be envious of you and will take a dislike to you, or even work to sabotage you

Extra scrutiny

Lots of eyes and ears on you means people notice your mistakes (microaggressions, moments of weakness/anger, etc.)

Tone policing

Can feel like you need to wear a mask, not be “human”

Prejudice

People who know you by reputation can form first impressions of you without you ever actually meeting them

Can create a sense of paranoia

Emotional bandwidth

Fan interactions / fan service can become extremely draining and allow little time/energy for personal/intimate relationships

How do you want to show up in the fandom?

Why do you want to be popular?

Attention?

Sexual partner selection?

Influence?

Legacy?

Power?

What would popularity actually bring you?

Weigh pros/cons

How much of your “true self” are you willing to lose?

How can you show up in a likable but authentic way?

How else can you create the emotions you’re after?

Who do you really want to be well liked by?

Feedback

“I just found your podcasts the other day through Culturally F’d. You guys do a wonderful service for humanity and the anthro community. Life’s been fucking dark so I look forward to the new episodes and I’m speechless for how this fandom is matured. Without a doubt, thank you for everything you do, seriously. In just about 6 months I returned to being a furry after like 10 years, and everywhere I look I see so much to fucking love in this community. Especially resistance regaining ground against empire. Seems so unreal.” - Daisy

Question(s)

What is the first step to going from being a submissive to becoming a dominant in bed? After five years, my boyfriend wants to have me dominate and take control. I’m a little nervous and really unsure of how to start to ease into the role without becoming overwhelmed.

Received via Contact Form (name withheld)

FA 023 BDSM Roles Demystified: https://www.feralattraction.com/shownotes/fa023

Learning to be more dominant in bed advice column:
https://www.feralattraction.com/advice/learning-to-be-more-dominant-in-bed

Closer

Contact info

Contact Viro:

Telegram: t.me/viroscicollie

Twitter: twitter.com/viroscicollie

Contact Klik:

Telegram: t.me/Klik2097

Twitter: https://twitter.com/klik2097 (warning: 18+ NSFW)

Feral Attraction Twitter:

twitter.com/feralattractfm

Feral Attraction Contact Page:

feralattraction.com/contact

Coaching Services now available!

As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!

For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coaching

Other business

Patreon

Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

Feral Attraction
Episode 107 - Friendship 9/14/18

Intro

On this week’s show we open with a discussion of the history of happiness, and why happiness may be elusive. Soatok Dhole joins us to discuss our main topic, friendship — what is a good friendship, when is the right time to distance yourself from a friend, and how do you revive a fading friendship worth saving? We close with a question about how to handle developing feelings for a straight roommate.

Introduction topic

A history of happiness explains why capitalism makes us feel empty inside

Sean Illing - Vox

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/9/4/17759590/happiness-fantasy-capitalism-culture-carl-cederstrom

Topic

What is friendship?

“Essential and fundamental to friendship is that it is a natural, spontaneous, freely given and entered into relationship promised as much on subliminal cues that prompt liking as on anything that the parties could specify as a reason for engaging in it” – philosopher AC Grayling

Friend vs. friendly acquaintance

Common to both:

People who make you a better person

People who you enjoy spending time with

People who you have a history of shared experience with

People who share your values, your hobbies, your interests, and/or your kinks

Unique to friends:

People you can trust

People you can confide in

People you can be yourself around

Loyalty

Problems arise when you expect loyalty from someone you considered a friend, but who views you as a friendly acquaintance

What is a bad friendship?

“Our friends aren’t toxic — they’re just human”

Ephrat Livni - Quartz

https://qz.com/1352437/our-friends-arent-toxic-theyre-just-human/

Many people argue a “bad friend” is one who consistently brings you down or holds you back

“The current cultural discourse suggests that friends are people who we use to improve ourselves, and get rid of when the going gets tough or if we’re not having enough fun. … It’s friendship as a capitalistic exchange, instead of relationships involving people who care about each other, hanging out, and helping each other through life’s ups and downs.”

This philosophy leads many people to treat their friends as disposable, and to abandon them when they need support and are not contributing to the friendship — right when they need a friend the most

It is important to remember the golden rule in friendship, and to treat others as we’d like to be treated

You wouldn’t want to be abandoned during a time of hardship when you couldn’t be there for your friends as much as you’d like to be

Abandoning a friend at the first sign of conflict or distress in the relationship will leave you with very few friends

It is often worth it to attempt to reconcile or ignore certain conflicts for the sake of maintaining an otherwise valuable friendship

Friends who consistently do not support you, who do not share your values, and who have a history of being unreliable may be less worthy of continued or increased investment of time and other resources

In some circumstances, it can be worthwhile to invest in old friendships even when values and goals have drifted apart, for the sake of having someone who can “ground you” in your own history

It is difficult for new friends to offer the same level of insight that old friends can provide to you

If you have many old friends, and a particular friendship is no longer offering benefit to either of you, it is okay to let a friendship turn back into a friendly acquaintanceship

Keep in mind: people change over time (and that’s ok!)

What is a good friendship?

In general, it is wise to invest in friends who:

Share your values

Support you as you pursue your goals

Point out your weaknesses and mistakes in a loving way

It can be tempting to seek friends who tell you everything you do is awesome, but it’s wise to have a few close friends who can call you on your mistakes

Assume good faith: When your close friends suggest you’ve done something wrong, it is generally because they care about your success, and not because they want to put you down

Have a history of being trustworthy and reliable

It isn’t all about you

“Real friendship is a kind of love, writes philosopher Bennet Helm. As such, it must ‘involve a concern for your friend for his sake and not for your own.’”

It isn’t a great idea to be friends only with people who tell you everything you do is good

“A true friend didn’t just flatter and please. Quite the contrary, their value lie in the fact that they sometimes corrected or fought with their pals, to whom they’d give their all.”

Criticism that comes from a place of loyalty and respect, with the intent of making you a more authentic version of yourself, is very different from someone tearing you down

When you’re around a good friend, you should feel liberated to act with authenticity.

How do you revive a friendship?

How to Revive a Friendship

Anna Goldfarb — The New York Times

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/26/smarter-living/how-to-revive-a-friendship.html

Start by “identifying what variables, if any, have changed since your falling out.”

“Maybe you’re in a more stable place in life and are confident you can be a better, more attentive friend this time around.”

“Thinking about the reasons you grew apart and how things might be different now can help you take the steps needed to rebuild a closer and longer lasting friendship.”

Make the first move!

If neither of you reach out, you won’t talk

Being vulnerable and honest about missing your former friend can help you reconnect if they’re feeling the same way

Be prepared for rejection

Game out what you’d say and what you’d do to feel better if you are rejected

Assume good faith

It’s possible your friend would love to talk to you, but the thought just hasn’t occurred to them, because many other things are on their mind

It’s harmless to remind them you exist and would like to talk

Establish interest in re-establishing the friendship before jumping into emotionally difficult topics

Go in as if this were a new friendship

Start small with light topics and catching up on what is new with each of you

Good topics for conversation are anecdotes and requests for advice that focus on what is shared between you right now

Similar life experiences

Places you’ve both been to

Where you are in life

Location

Career

Lifestyle/Living Situation

Try socializing at first in a group setting

Game night

Movie night

Dinner party

Outing to a park for a hike or picnic

Try to present your best self

This will remind your former friend what they liked about you to begin with

It isn’t always possible to get back to the same level of friendship you had before

Be willing to accept a less intimate relationship, at least at first

Feedback

None for this week

Question(s)

I live with my best friend, who is a straight male. I am a gay male furry, and I am crushing hard on the the friend that I live with. How can I continue to be friends with him given the feelings I cannot share?

Received via Telegram (name withheld)

Closer

Contact info

Contact Viro:

t.me/viroscicollie

twitter.com/viroscicollie

Contact Soatok:

https://twitter.com/SoatokDhole

https://soatok.com

Feral Attraction Twitter:

twitter.com/feralattractfm

Feral Attraction Contact Page:

feralattraction.com/contact

Coaching Services now available!

As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!

For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coaching

Other business

Patreon

Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on recent studies into cuckolding. A recent article in CNN goes through the potential benefits of cuckolding as researched in an academic article co-authored by friend of the show and agony uncle expert, Dan Savage!

Our main topic is on protecting your online identity. We bring on our friend, Soatok (https://twitter.com/SoatokDhole) who is an expert on Information Security, and he leads us on a terrifying discussion on how insecure your information online might be and ways you can mitigate against having anything stolen.

We close out the show with a question on poly-quads. While triads are more popular and accessible for people in the poly community, what happens when two couples get together to form a quad? Is it swinging or something more?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone!

Welcome to our first episode of 2018! Thank you for your continued support this year and we hope that this is a year filled with love and laughter for you and yours.

We open this week's discussion with a review of 2018 so far. We briefly touch on Further Confusion and our panel and party there, and have a brief discussion of our respective vacations, cover bands, and how we use the support we get from our Patrons in order to grow our event schedule and make it out to more panel opportunities.

We then shift into our ninth all questions show! We've received a ton of email during our time away and we wanted to address some of the backlog. We go over questions ranging from long distance libido, sexual insecurity, and how to stop chafing your junk when you dry hump. It's a sexy question time this week on Feral Attraction!

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a reflection of our year. We talk about the show, areas we want to improve in the year to come, and the important highlights in our lives. We find it's important to look at the good moments and find ways to cultivate more of them moving forward, especially in a year that was difficult for many of our listeners.

Our main topic is a continuation on our yearly retrospective: journaling and self reflection. We talk about how and why we journal, and detail two different styles that are commonly used: Bullet Journaling and Emotional Intelligence Journaling. We go through the strengths of both styles and how these can be used to focus your life, focus your strengths, and aid you in living an intentional, uninhibited life.

As this is the final show of the year we at Feral Attraction wish you and those in your life a 2018 that is fulfilled with love and laughter. We will be back in Mid-January with our first episode of Season 3.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion of social media and health. During the end of the year it can be a time of social anxiety and depression, especially for those of us encountering the cold, dark, winter months. We talk about a recent study that shows how social media can be used as a means of finding support but cautions about what can happen when that support becomes your sole means of communication.

Our main topic this week is on Cuckholding and Hotwifeing. While you might refer to Hotwifeing as Hothusbanding or Hotspousing, we tend to use Hotwifeing but mean it in a neutral fashion. We talk about the differences between Cuckholding and Hotwifeing, how to safely and sanely get involved in either, and what the ultimate risks for this kink are. We also touch on the fun part of "why do people enjoy humiliation". This is a fun discussion about an often ridiculed and misunderstood portion of the kink community with serious undertones of the dangerous elements involved when you introduce a bull into the china shop that is your relationship.

We close out the show with a question on selfishness: our questioner is worried and feels guilty whenever they act in selfishness in their relationship. Should they be more selfless, or is there a way to practice ethical selfishness without turning into Ayn Rand?

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

As a programming note next week will be our last episode of the year and we will be taking the first two weeks of 2018 off for vacation and business related travels. 

Thanks and, as always, be well! 

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion of MFF. We wanted to talk about our panel, our party, what went right, and what the plans moving forward for future conventions will be. As MFF is now the world's largest furry convention we wanted to spend a little bit of time talking about it and having Viro share his experiences in lieu of a serious top of the show.

We then dive headfirst into our eighth all questions show. We cover topics from choosing between potential lovers, to divorce, to handling jealousy when your partners find more sexual outlets than you do in your open, polyamorous relationship. We also open up a bit about our lives and ways that we've overcome obstacles that many of our questioners are currently facing.

We close out the show with some feedback from the questioner in Episode 094 as well as a voicemail feedback on topics discussed in Episode 093.

A minor correction: Metriko talks about a strip club in Tampa named 2001 Odyssey, however in the episode he refers to it as Sex Odyssey 3000. Mea culpa.

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on a comic concerning cuckholding from Oh Joy Sex Toy! We go over what cuckholding is and why there has been heightened focus on people who are cucks within the past few years. What starts out as a lighthearted discussion almost turned into a full episode's worth of content. Stay tuned for a future show on cuckholding because we have a lot to say on this topic!

Our main topic is on Sexual Etiquette. While we've discussed more of the varsity ideals of sex, we realized that we had not had a talk about the basics. An oversight on our behalf has turned into a discussion of best practices, of things you can ask, look for, and try to do. We talk about mistakes we've made, ways we've learned, and whether or not you should "superman that hoe". 

We close out the show with a question on breaking up. Our questioner has more to lose than romance if he breaks up with his boyfriend-- should he keep in a relationship he wants to end in order to keep the additional benefits? 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!

Hello Everyone!

We open this week's show with a discussion on marijuana and sex drive. Conventional wisdom says that the more you smoke pot the less likely you are to be active at anything, sex included. However, recent studies show that daily users of pot tend to have more sex than average. We discuss why this might be and why more research is needed.

Our main topic is on family. During the holiday season a lot of us will be returning home to visit family, friends, and other people we grew up with. As young adults (or burgeoning adults) we have to begin to transition our mindset from that of a child to that of an independent adult. How can we accomplish this in a way that is ethical and empathetic. 

You also might be in the position of being a teenager living at home. How can you work with your parents to find a way to meet your wants while also meeting their needs? 

We close out the show with some feedback on reduced cost mental health services and a question on how to handle an abusive parent when you are a younger teen. 

For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.

Thanks and, as always, be well!