Enough Wicker: Intellectualizing the Golden Girls – Details, episodes & analysis

We made it! We break down the very satisfying, very funny, very sad finale of the greatest television of all time, The Golden Girls. Thank you for being our friend and sticking with us! You've inspired us more than you'll never know <3

Before we get to the final episode of the greatest television of all time, we chat about our process and pull highlights from our copious notes.

Creepy Thor Anderson is here from St. Olaf after saving up for the bus fare and maybe low-key stalking Rose. Meanwhile, Sophia answers a personal ad, thinks she's caught up in sex games, but is actually witnessing the heartbreaking reality of a wife trying to prepare her husband for her imminent death. What a load of fun!

In what is the opposite of a fan-favorite, Rose dates Mr. Terrific, Dorothy attempts to fix his show and is sexually harassed by a puppet, and Blanche gets a different bed than the one she ordered. We're here to dunk on the sub-par (for this show) writing, the strange deliveries of lines, and pretty much everything else. 

We give all of our thoughts on the controversial Mixed Blessings episode, as well as a lament at how bad this show handles issues of race in general. For a further scholarly take, check out Dr. Stephen Trasher's The Real Mud on the Golden Girls piece for Variety. 

Al, Rose's new boyfriend, just retired from a successful career as a deli owner. While he could be content just sleeping late and watching reruns of Moonlighting, Rose compels him to do something better with his time. So, rationally, he decides to purchase a yacht and sail around the world without ever bothering to test his sea legs--bad idea! Meanwhile, Sophia brings in a pervert from the senior center to remodel the Girls' garage into a guestroom. 

In the ultimate role reversal, Sophia has a new boyfriend that Dorothy can't stand. Rocco, played by Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney, adores Sophia, but his disrespectful attitude, cigar habit, and shady past all give Dorothy pause. She tries to impose rules like leaving the bedroom door open, but it's hard to parent an 80-year-old. Meanwhile, Blanche and Dorothy break into Rose's 4-H Pig Diary (YOU KNOW A BETTER WAY TO GET A 4-H PIG DIARY BADGE?) massively invading her privacy. 

Sophia is feeling bummed as all of her friends her own age have either moved out of town, died, or assumed new identities as Pinky Lee. Dorothy, thinking only of her mother's happiness, starts bringing her along on dates with her boyfriend Raymond. Eventually, Raymond (understandably) grows tired of this, and Dorothy decides it's more important to preserve Sophia's happiness than have an awkward conversation. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose run against each other for the prestigious position of Fashion Show Chairman of the Tinkerbelles. 

Golden Girls Fashion Corner is the place on the web for the clothes of our beloved Golden Girls. The woman behind the blog, Claire Sewell, joins us to talk about what inspired her to start the site, the thought behind the wardrobe choices, and how sometimes fashion has a scholarly element to it, but sometimes it's just plain fun. Check out GoldenGirlsFashion.com for more insight and enjoy! 

Golden Moments Parts 1 and 2 aired on the same night, so audiences were treated to a full hour of clips they'd already seen before. Through flashbacks, this 2-parter revisits classic scenes, such as Sophia's arrival, Blanche's discovery that Danny Thomas was not a lesbian, and Rose nearly blowing poor Lestser's head off. In the meantime, Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose work on convincing Sophia to stay in Miami as she considers a move to help Phil with his indistinct number of children.