Emotionally Uncomfortable – Details, episodes & analysis

"Money is one of those things that people just consider as an afterthought. The older you get and the more responsibilities you have, you start to realize money is a tool, and it's required for health and happiness."

In this episode, Heather sits down with Douglas and Heather Boneparth to dig into the often uncomfortable but wholly necessary work of talking about finances with your partner. Together, they unpack what really happens beneath the surface when couples avoid money conversations, and how bringing these truths forward can transform the intimacy, teamwork, and emotional safety in your relationship. Explore the stories we inherit around money, why it feels so vulnerable to speak up, and the simple shifts that help you feel like you're on the same team again.

What to listen for:

✨ Money is not an afterthought; it's a tool for cultivating health and happiness
✨ How Douglas and Heather first understood that they needed to talk about money
✨ Overcoming the fear of speaking up with your partner about finances

"You're communicating even when you're not communicating. Your body language, your actions, and the way that you're passive-aggressive about it. You're just failing to say the thing that needs to be said."

✨ Opening the door to teamwork and shared responsibility in your relationship
✨ Letting go of the "Prince Charming is going to save me" and taking ownership
✨ The importance of acknowledging the impact partners have on one another

"The collective ambition needs to come to life here because you share a life together. You still get to be your own person, but you're playing a team game. Championships are won through team efforts, and this is what collaboration is all about. Your marriage is essentially a collaboration of life, and money is this game that you don't get to opt out of."

✨ Why freedom is emotionally uncomfortable and how to navigate that
✨ The question Douglas and Heather ask every couple to bring them together
✨ The power of energetic time management and chasing the feeling you're after

"It's not the thing you want, it's the feeling. You say you want more money, more accolades, another book, this, this, this. Amazing. Take it. But what's the feeling you're after?"

✨ The importance of valuing the journey as much as you value the end goal
✨ Benchmarking your money goals and navigating the resistance that comes up
✨ Understanding that intimacy is directly connected to your financial health

About Douglas and Heather Boneparth:

Heather and Douglas Boneparth are the co-authors of Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team. By day, Douglas Boneparth is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and the founder of Bone Fide Wealth in New York City. Heather spent more than a decade as a corporate lawyer before joining the firm as the director of business and legal affairs. They also co-write a weekly newsletter, The Joint Account, which helps couples talk about money. 

Connect with Douglas and Heather:

Money Together, available in all formats and at http://www.domoneytogether.com 
The Joint Account, available on Substack at https://www.readthejointaccount.com 
Bone Fide Wealth, visit https://bonefidewealth.com
Everywhere on social: @averagejoelle + @dougboneparth

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For those of you who are ready to stop feeling drained, overextended, and out of alignment… join me for a one-on-one Time & Energy Audit, a focused session designed to help high-achieving women uncover what's draining them, clarify what truly matters, and create a simple plan that fits their life.

We'll pinpoint your biggest time + energy leaks, identify the top areas to focus on for quick momentum, and map out exactly what to let go of so you can reclaim your energy, your time, and your joy.

Ready to make your time work for you without adding more to your plate?

Book a Time & Energy Audit: heatherchauvin.com/audit  

Apply for the next Coaching Cohort: heatherchauvin.com/apply  

Not ready for 1:1? Join the membership (cancel anytime): heatherchauvin.com/membership 

"I understand that if I'm too comfortable, it's time to grow. Because if I'm not growing, I'm dying. And if I'm dying, I'm going to live a miserable life."

In this episode, Heather reflects on three big lessons she's learned over the last 12 years since her cancer diagnosis, exploring the significance of facing fears, recognizing triggers as opportunities for growth, and the importance of self-reflection in embracing a fulfilling life. This conversation isn't about recounting the many challenges she faced during healing; it's about celebrating and learning to live more fully. Because the truth is, most of us are keeping ourselves so busy we can't experience growth, leaving us in a perpetual state of survival. 

This conversation encourages us all to move past chronic suffering and to realise that we're not dead yet, so let's focus on feeling alive and energized while we're still here.

What to listen for:

✨ Leaning into your stories and the impact you want to make
✨ Understanding that suffering isn't living, and you're not dead yet
✨ The reason why so many people live like the walking dead

"There's a huge difference between being emotionally uncomfortable and working through fear and resistance. That chronic suffering, chronic pain, isn't living, and you're not dead yet. So you need to learn how to feel alive and energized while you're still alive."

✨ Why it's essential to understand the feeling that you're chasing
✨ How Heather moved through the terror and the story that she was going to die
✨ The importance of becoming the adult that you needed as a child

"I had to face my fear of death in order to learn how to face my fear of living. I had to train myself to run towards how I wanted to feel. That was scary to me because I had no evidence, but it started me on this catalyst of curiosity."

✨ Why the people triggering you the most are your greatest teachers
✨ How to keep triggers from dictating your connections
✨ The importance of taking responsibility for how you want to feel

Enjoy the excerpts Heather shared?

Be sure to grab a copy of her book, Dying to Be a Good Mother.

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For those of you who are ready to stop feeling drained, overextended, and out of alignment… join me for a one-on-one Time & Energy Audit, a focused session designed to help high-achieving women uncover what's draining them, clarify what truly matters, and create a simple plan that fits their life.

We'll pinpoint your biggest time + energy leaks, identify the top areas to focus on for quick momentum, and map out exactly what to let go of so you can reclaim your energy, your time, and your joy.

Ready to make your time work for you without adding more to your plate?

Book a Time & Energy Audit: https://heatherchauvin.com/audit  

Apply for the next Coaching Cohort: https://heatherchauvin.com/apply  

Not ready for 1:1? Join the membership (cancel anytime): https://heatherchauvin.com/membership

"It's not our job to remove every obstacle from our children's path. It's our job to walk with them through it."

In this conversation, Heather sits down with Alyssa Black Campbell, author of Big Kids, Bigger Feelings, for a powerful discussion on emotional safety, nervous system regulation, and what kids really need to thrive at home and in the classroom.

They explore the myth of middle childhood being the "easiest" phase, how trauma-informed education changes lives, and why parenting is deeply personal, emotional, and yes sometimes selfish.

🩶What happens when we stop trying to fix every feeling and instead teach our kids how to feel them

🩶Why understanding your child's unique nervous system is the key to emotional regulation

🩶How to support educators, avoid reactive parenting, and reframe "bad behavior" as unmet needs

This is a deeply validating conversation for anyone raising, teaching, or mentoring kids and especially those navigating the messiness of big feelings.

About Alyssa
Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., is a bestselling author, as well as founder and CEO of Seed & Sew. Her mission is to change the way adults experience children's emotions so we can respond with intention to raise emotionally intelligent humans.

Her new book, Big Kids, Bigger Feelings: Navigating Defiance, Meltdowns, Anxiety to Raise Confident, Connected Kids (HarperCollins Publishers, September 16, 2025) is an essential guide to supporting children's social and emotional growth through the elementary school years (ages 5–12), a critical but often-overlooked developmental stage.

Alyssa's first book, Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children (HarperCollins Publishers, October 2023) is an empathetic guide to empower parents, teachers, and caregivers to help their little ones navigate their big feelings while laying the groundwork for a lifetime of emotional intelligence.

*******

For those of you who are ready to stop feeling drained, overextended, and out of alignment… join me for a one-on-one Time & Energy Audit, a focused session designed to help high-achieving women uncover what's draining them, clarify what truly matters, and create a simple plan that fits their life.

We'll pinpoint your biggest time + energy leaks, identify the top areas to focus on for quick momentum, and map out exactly what to let go of so you can reclaim your energy, your time, and your joy.

Ready to make your time work for you without adding more to your plate? Book your audit here: https://heatherchauvin.com/audit

"What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do." - Tim Ferriss

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why the work you avoid is the key to your success
• Unlock freedom through discipline (without feeling restricted)
• Transform your mindset: see triggers as signs, not blocks

Continue the conversation on Instagram @heatherchauvin_

For your own AG1 supply, visit: drinkAG1.com/EU

Scale your business without doing more in just 8 weeks. Head on over to heatherchauvin.com/summerofprofit and register Summer of Profit, an 8-week hybrid coaching accelerator for female business owners who want to make more money and pursue bigger career goals - without sacrificing more time with their family

Tired of being tired? Stop just surviving. Learn what it takes to thrive with the Aligned Life Quiz. Take the quiz at: heatherchauvin.com/lifequiz

I want to hear your questions, your comments, and your experiences! Connect with me personally at heatherchauvin.com/chat

The most UNselfish thing you will ever do for another is to first give to yourself. 

 

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"Failing to meet your true destiny is a tragic act of free will."
― Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide To Your True Destiny

 

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"If you're overfocused on your kid, you're quite likely under-focusing on your own passion. Despite what you may think, your kid is not your passion. If you treat them as if they are, you're placing them in the very untenable and unhealthy role of trying to bring fulfillment to your life. Support your kid's interests, yes. Be proud—very proud—of them. But find your own passion and purpose. For your kid's sake and your own, you must." 
― Julie Lythcott-Haims, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success       Author of NYT bestseller How to Raise an Adult. 
TED talk on overparenting a "Top Talk of 2016". Mom of two teens with my partner of 30 years. Former Stanford dean. Former corporate lawyer     JulieLythcottHaims.com

"When you make music or write or create, it's really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you're writing about at the time. " 
― Lady Gaga

 

 

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Victoria Gracie is an author, jiu-jitsu instructor, and founder of MyKindOfMama.com, an organization that helps families create harmonious households with mindful parenting. Through her book and her classes, she is an advocate for emotional intelligence, compassionate communication, and self-empowerment. It is her dream to help others find their best selves by first believing in their own magic. She is living proof that traditional molds were meant to be broken. 

www.VictoriaGracie.com

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"Your feelings are the utmost priority, your desires are more important than anyone else's deadline or mandate." 
― Regena Thomashauer, Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts: Using the Power of Pleasure to Have Your Way with the World

 

 

 

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