Don't Cut Your Own Bangs – Details, episodes & analysis

Welcome back to the final episode of the Creativity Miniseries! In this conversation, Emily Sutherland and I open up our personal creativity toolkits and share the resources and strategies that help us bring our ideas to life.

Working on this miniseries with Emily has been an absolute joy. She’s not just an incredible creative and coach—she’s also become a trusted friend and advisor throughout the development of Wrestling a Walrus, my first children’s book. I truly could not imagine doing this without her.

Interestingly, we didn’t plan on recording another discussion on the creative process, but that’s exactly where our behind-the scenes, warm-up conversation led us. So, we left it in. I think you might find some usefulness in this bonus material as we share our thoughts on the value of authenticity, the importance of differentiating yourself, and the surprising relationship between uncertainty and clarity. 

A huge thank you to Emily for her wisdom and generosity, and to you for joining us as part of the creative community. 

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

SPECIAL MENTIONS

Emily Sutherland’s Storytelling for Business (April 4, 2025) and Nurturing Your Creative Self (May 9, 2025) - https://www.emilysutherland.me/events

Storytelling Community (Substack) - https://open.substack.com/pub/storytellingcommunity

The Secret Lies Within by “Auntie Anne” Beiler and Emily H. Sutherland - http://bit.ly/3FmIxPT

Betsy B. Murphy - https://substack.com/@betsybmurphy or http://betsybmurphy.com/

Vanessa Marin, sex therapist on IG @vanessaandxander

PROCESS TOOLKIT

Write it down when you feel it (and be prepared in the middle of the night).

Be ready for the idea.

Be discerning about what, when, and who to share your idea with.   

When your idea is at a tender stage, who are your tender people? Do you need an editor or a cheerleader?

Journaling. Let the creative juices flow without requiring an outcome.

The more you write, the more ideas will come. Immerse yourself  and trust the process. 

Try on new ideas to see if they go anywhere.

“I make what I like, and they eat it how they want to eat it.” - Erykah Badu to Donald Glover

ELECTRONIC TOOLS

Manuscript Software - Scrivener - affiliate link: https://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivener/overview?fpr=emilysuth

Google Docs, YouTube, and Apps (e.g., voice memo, talk-to-text, notes)

IngramSpark - https://www.ingramspark.com/ 

Kindle Direct Publishing - https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B008241EAQ

Storytelling Workshops - https://www.emilysutherland.me/events

PHYSICAL TOOLS 

Fine Tip Sharpie Pen or The Pilot G2 (in multiple colors!)

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert - https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/books/big-magic/

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott - https://writingforyourlife.com/bird-by-bird-some-instructions-on-writing-and-life/

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron - https://juliacameronlive.com/books-by-julia/

Rifle Paper Company little notebooks (great for lefties!) - https://riflepaperco.com/

The Treasured Journal - https://danielleireland.com/journal

DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW

Thank you for your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.

Website - https://danielleireland.com/

The Treasured Journal - https://danielleireland.com/journal

Substack - https://danielleireland.substack.com/

Blog - https://danielleireland.com/blog/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW

Podcast on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured

Creative expression can be a powerful tool for personal healing and growth because the creative work we do is so connected to the healing work we need.

From following along in this Creativity Miniseries, you know that Emily Sutherland has been my special guest on this journey. Emily is a ghostwriter, published author, coach, and executive storyteller. Together, we have explored the messy, magical stages of bringing an idea to life—Inspiration, Preparation, and Perspiration. Now, we’ve arrived at the final stage: Creation. 

In the Creation stage, you pour your heart into the work, but how do you know when it’s truly finished? Is it ever really done? When is it time to share your creation with the world? This final stage of the process can feel both vulnerable and exhilarating. Emily and I explore it all.

While this episode covers the last stage in our series on the creative process, we’re not done just yet! Stick around for our next episode, when we share our Creativity Toolkit—packed with tips on making time for your craft, resources for self-publishing, and much more.

Thank you for listening!

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

RESOURCES

Emily Sutherland’s Storytelling for Business (April 4, 2025) and Nurturing Your Creative Self (May 9, 2025) -https://www.emilysutherland.me/events

Emily H. Sutherland website - https://www.emilysutherland.me/

Madeleine L'Engle - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madeleine_L%27Engle

IngramSpark - https://www.ingramspark.com/

THE TREASURED JOURNAL

Learn more about this specially designed journal and its companion Meditation Series at https://danielleireland.com/journal

DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW

Thank you for your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.

Website - https://danielleireland.com/

Substack - https://danielleireland.substack.com/

Blog - https://danielleireland.com/blog/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW

Podcast on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured

We continue with a special series of exercises that will be our focus over the coming weeks. With each podcast, I’ll examine one of the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal:  career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose. 

Journaling is one of the most powerful tools we have for gaining clarity and understanding of ourselves, which in turn, helps us advocate for ourselves, create space when we need it, and engage in constructive conversations that otherwise might feel overwhelming.

This episode is the first of a two-part look at relationships. It’s where 90% of sessions start with my new clients. People want to talk about heartache, frustration, or anger with regard to their partner or someone else in their life—but ultimately, discussion of the relationship reveals work that needs to be done by the individual. And that’s okay; it’s a good place to start. 

We want to be seen and heard and we want other people to be there for us, but we need clarity on what “being there” looks like. So, when journaling about relationships, start with the following prompts: 

• What do I really feel?
• What do I really want?
• How can I satisfy that for myself with some small action?

It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for this series of exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, if you do use the journal, you can lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems that, along with these podcasts, will help you move past the blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

BOOKS I’M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):

• Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804
• The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881 
• Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy - https://www.goodinside.com/book/
• The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron - https://juliacameronlive.com/books-by-julia/

CONNECT WITH DANIELLE 

• Website: danielleireland.com
• Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
• Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

I am excited to announce a very special series of exercises that will be our focus over the next seven to nine weeks. With each podcast, I’ll examine one of the seven life themes in The Treasured Journal: career, relationships, love, sex, money, family, and purpose. Whether you’re experienced at journaling or brand new to it, I encourage you to take advantage of these guided exercises to explore the seven themes in your life.

Journaling is one of the most powerful tools we have for gaining clarity and understanding. Understanding is empowering and freeing—it helps us advocate for ourselves, create space when we need it, and engage in constructive conversations that otherwise might be overwhelming.

It’s not essential that you use The Treasured Journal for these exercises—a plain pad of paper and pen will do. But, I recommend that you lean on the questions, prompts, and sentence stems in the journal. Along with this series of podcasts, they will help you move past that blank page and gain the type of clarity that comes from meaningful self-reflection. 

Get a copy of THE TREASURED JOURNAL - https://danielleireland.com/journal

In this episode, we begin our series with a discussion of “career” because people tend to have a lot of unconscious bias, complicated feelings, and self-identity wrapped up in their careers. So it’s worth examining how we perceive its value and its effect on us. Additionally, there is a unique emotional tension for women who choose to leave their careers to raise children. Within that context, we ask these questions about career to get your journaling juices flowing:

• How do I know which internal voice to listen to when one is telling me to rest and another is pushing me to do that thing that seems so important?

• When meeting someone and introducing myself, how quickly does my career come up? Or, conversely, do I avoid talking about my work? 

• When I receive criticism, how do I react? How long do I dwell on the feedback?

• Do I start most weeks feeling some level of dread or enthusiasm about the week? 

Thanks for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

BOOKS I’M READING (visit your local bookseller or library):

The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté - https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881

Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey - https://thenapministry.com/

Spare by Prince Harry - https://www.amazon.com/Spare-Prince-Harry-Duke-Sussex/dp/0593593804

CONNECT WITH DANIELLE 

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

• Website: danielleireland.com
• Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
• Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Sheena Birt is the owner of Color Story Studio, a custom design studio that turns brick-and-mortar businesses into destinations people can’t wait to visit.

Color Story Studio is known for creating one-of-a-kind installations for a variety of high-profile locations in and around Indianapolis. Her work has been featured at Dior in Chicago and Two Chicks District Co. (the store owned by the women of HGTV’s Good Bones), corporate lifestyle brands (such as Anthropologie), and Newfields, an art institution the studio partners with each year to create an immersive, multi-room installation inside the historic Lilly House.

While Sheena’s reputation and portfolio are impressive, her path from graphic designer at a t-shirt shop in Terre Haute to the owner and creative force behind a highly sought-after design studio has not been a straight line.

We discuss career fits and starts, confidence, collaboration, trust, burnout, asking for help, and the reluctance to jump in. Sheena also shares her search for inspiration, the benefits of being open to new things, and a surprising social media strategy.  

I’m sure you’ll enjoy this inside look at a business we don’t often hear much about. Sheena’s insights will be of special interest for anyone considering a career in retail store and visual design, merchandising, and consulting. And, as you’re out and about this month, you’ll appreciate the season’s special holiday decorations from a brand new perspective. 

Learn more about Sheena and Color Story Studio:  

• Website 
• Instagram 

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

Thanks for listening. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

• Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with Danielle:  

• Website: danielleireland.com
• Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
• Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

There really is no escaping the year-end holidays. From decorations to music to parties, the season is everywhere! And, with the season, comes the expectation that this is a festive time of year and you had better get on board and be grateful.

We love and encourage feelings of gratitude. Gratitude feels good and we want to feel good, right? But gratitude can go very wrong when it doesn’t allow for a full range of emotion. When there is no space to feel anything else, gratitude can tip over into toxic positivity. So, this is a discussion of what gratitude really is and how we can access it in a healthy, authentic way.

Because gratitude is a feeling, practicing gratitude without actually feeling gratitude is an empty exercise. But when we are truly in a state of gratitude, we are creating new neural pathways in the brain. So, I also share a few techniques for a gratitude practice that can help you develop those pathways: 

• Doing mirror work  
• Telling someone what you love/appreciate/respect/value about them
• Asking someone what they love/appreciate/respect/value about you
• Journaling

Just as we’ve been conditioned over the years to think negative thoughts, these techniques and others can recondition the brain—and being able to access the new pathways literally can be lifesaving.

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

• Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with Danielle:  

• Website: danielleireland.com
• Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
• Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

I started the "Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs" podcast to explore the "messy middle," that place between the before and after photo. It can also be thought of as the gap between how we are feeling and how we think we should be feeling.

The middle doesn’t only exist during the year-end holidays, but as we’re closing in on that time of year, the gap between how we feel and how we want to feel can seem especially wide.

To deal with the stress and business of the holiday season, we must first acknowledge the stress within ourselves. Anxiety, depression, and burnout can result when we push for a sense of togetherness and not disappointing loved ones. Before we know it, joy gives way to the pulls of exhaustion and lonliness.

I know that it's easier said than done, but we need to get clear on what we want and how we want to feel if we're going to have a chance at getting through this season.

So, start with some questions:

• How am I feeling? How do I want to feel? 
• How do our holiday traditions make me feel?
• How many things am I doing because I want to be doing them? Or, because I feel I have to do them?
• Am I being too hard on myself by trying to please others and meet their expectations?
• What do I want my holiday season to feel like? How does it usually feel? 
• How willing am I to acknowledge what I truly want, knowing the discomfort that it might cause?

Remember that "practice makes permanent." Our holiday traditions have a way of continuing even when they no longer serve us. Maybe it’s time to make some space for a new approach or even a new tradition or two. We’ll revisit this theme in upcoming episodes, so give it some thought. 

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

• Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:  

• Website: danielleireland.com
• Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
• Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Lauren Rieker, RDN, is a registered dietitian and owner/manager of Collaborative Counseling & Nutrition, an outpatient nutrition and body image counseling center in Indianapolis. In this episode, I talk with Lauren about her own history with food, exercise, and health—and how it led her to pursue an approach to eating disorders, body image, and intuitive eating that emphasizes compassion, mindfulness, and holistic treatment.

This is not a typical discussion about our bodies and food-related struggles. In today’s environment, virtually all women are affected by pervasive ideas—and often misinformation—about body weight, size, and shape. So, I hope you will join us as Lauren shares her experience and perspective on these and related topics:

• Eating disorders versus disordered eating
• Conventional diet culture and health outcomes
• Behaviors, satisfaction, and trusting our bodies
• Combining therapy services and nutrition for healthy living

Be sure to register for Lauren's workshop on October 19th to learn more about intuitive eating (Follow her on Social Media to get the deets! All her links are below.)

Connect with Lauren and the team at the links below.

• Website: Collab-counseling.com 
• Instagram: @laurenrieker.rd 

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might want to share with Danielle. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps increase the value of this program and makes it easier for other listeners to find the show.

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE! 

• Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with Danielle:  

• Website: danielleireland.com
• Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
• Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

Let’s face it, sometimes things just don’t go as planned. But, how do we respond? Do we hang on fiercely to the original plan? Do we let go and adjust to the new situation? If we let go of the original plan, how do we know when to let go? A lot of my clients have been faced with this question lately. So, in this episode I share a recent experience of my own to explore these questions and more. 

We can learn a lot about ourselves when our plans are upended. All of us know the struggle of holding onto the promise of what could be rather than acknowledging the truth of what is. But that challenge, it turns out, can help us clarify what we want, why we want it, and how we want to feel. 

Maybe it’s time to rethink how we plan so that we can give proper attention to setting realistic expectations, listening to how we feel, and trusting in the idea of “lightly held” plans.

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share with me. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for new listeners to find us. 

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

• Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:  

• Website: danielleireland.com
• Instagram: @danielleireland_LCSW
• Facebook: @danielleireland_LCSW

The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.

In episode #42 from April 2022, Jen Petro and I discuss the benefits of taking a solo retreat. She first suggested the idea to me while working side by side at Cafe’ Patachou.⁣

⁣I remember thinking, “Huh? Just go somewhere by myself, for myself, for no other reason than I want to?”⁣ ⁣It sounded indulgent, a little selfish, and OH SO NECESSARY. Saying yes to myself in this way changed my life. Truly. ⁣

A solo retreat can drop your stress level and help you feel more settled, especially in times of uncertainty. If taking a solo retreat sounds appealing and like something you’re able to do, I encourage you to listen to the episode to learn more about this terrific approach to self care. Enjoy!

Jen Petro is a writer, marketing nerd, and owner of Dropleaf Communications. Dropleaf helps brands and businesses clarify their message to connect with customers and drive sales. To connect with Jen:

• Website: dropleaf.co/
• Instagram: jenspetro
• Email: jen@dropleaf.co

As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you might like to share with others. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of our time together and makes it easier for other listeners to find us. 

Buy my NEW book Wrestling a Walrus, HERE!

• Grab a copy of the Treasured Journal HERE

Ways to connect with me:  

• Website:  danielleireland.com
• Instagram:  danielleireland_LCSW
• Facebook:  danielleireland_LCSW