Explore every episode of the podcast Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha
Dive into the complete episode list for Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.
Butterflies don’t build marriages—choices do. We open up about the rush of infatuation, the friction of the fight for power, and the quiet strength of mature love, weaving our 26-year story through the science, the pitfalls, and the simple practices that help couples grow. You’ll hear why dopamine and oxytocin make those early days feel like a dream, how cortisol and stress twist small annoyances into big battles, and what it takes to move from me-versus-you to us-versus-the-problem.
We break down the three stages of love with honesty and hope. From late-night balcony confessions to the seven-year itch, we name what changes, what hurts, and what actually heals. Along the way, we offer concrete tools you can use tonight: summarize-before-you-respond listening, ground rules for hard talks, the three-to-one affirmation rule, and a pause, pray, plan approach for high-stakes decisions. We also tackle comparison, stonewalling, and scorekeeping, and we share how weekly family meetings, shared values, and small, daily touches restore trust and affection.
If you’ve wondered where the spark went, or feared you’ve fallen out of love, this conversation reframes conflict as the classroom where love grows up. Mature love isn’t less passionate; it’s more secure, more generous, and far more sustainable. And yes, the butterflies can return in moments—when your habits make space for them. Want more? Our new book, Butterfly Love, tells the whole story and hands you the tools we use. Listen, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so others can find the show. Then tell us: which stage are you in, and what tool will you try this week?
Dating doesn’t have to feel like a guessing game. We break down five clear red flags every Christian should watch for and show how trusting God, not the crowd, changes who you choose and how you choose. From spiritual alignment to character under pressure, we pull back the curtain on the patterns that predict a healthy marriage—or a painful one.
We start with the heart of it all: if someone pulls you away from God, isolates you from church, or mocks spiritual disciplines, that’s not love. Then we zoom into teachability and accountability—because an uncorrectable person becomes unleadable when life gets hard. We tackle dishonesty and secrecy, the silent killers that cloud conversations and erode peace. You’ll hear why watching how a date treats servers, coworkers, and family reveals who they are when no one’s grading their performance. And we unpack the cost of a partner with no vision or direction, plus how mismatched goals, theology, and values create constant friction.
Along the way, we challenge the myth that romance equals readiness. Infatuation is effortless; mature love is built on aligned values, shared purpose, and honest dialogue. So we trade surface talk for deeper questions: money habits, family history, conflict style, faith convictions, and life vision. We also invite community into the process—mentors, pastors, and trusted friends who can spot the warning signs you might miss. To close, we share five practical discernment keys: pray before you play, ask trusted voices, observe not excuse, look for fruit, and follow the Holy Spirit’s peace.
If you’re single, this is a guide to date with clarity and courage. If you’re advising someone you love, it’s a toolkit for wise counsel. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and tell us: which red flag or discernment key are you adding to your non-negotiables today?
Have you ever felt like your marriage was under attack? You might be right—but the attacker isn't your spouse.
When Ken and Tabatha Claytor stood at the altar 26 years ago, they had no idea their marriage would nearly end within two years. What saved them wasn't marriage counseling or communication techniques (though those helped). It was recognizing the spiritual warfare targeting their relationship.
"Marriage is God's idea, and it's the one relationship that shows the world how much Jesus loves the church," Ken explains. "This is precisely why Satan attacks it so fiercely." From their own near-divorce experience to now helping countless couples, the Claytor's have identified six tactical weapons the enemy uses to destroy marriages: division through distraction, bitterness and unforgiveness, sexual temptation, spiritual disconnection, miscommunication, and generational patterns.
The turning point in their relationship came when they realized they weren't fighting each other—they were experiencing spiritual warfare. "It's not me against you," Tabatha emphasizes. "It's us against the devil." This perspective shift transformed their marriage from battlefield to partnership.
Through transparent sharing of their early struggles—Ken's anger and resentment, Tabitha's depression, their communication breakdown—the Claytor's offer practical wisdom for recognizing when you're fighting the wrong enemy. Their candid discussion reveals how spiritual immaturity creates vulnerability to attack and how spiritual weapons can protect your marriage covenant.
Whether you're newlyweds struggling through those challenging first years or long-married partners wondering why you keep having the same conflicts, this episode equips you with strategies to stand united against the true adversary of your marriage.
Ready to transform your relationship by fighting the right enemy? Listen now and discover how to wage spiritual warfare that strengthens rather than destroys your marriage.
Struggling with forgiveness in your life? You're not alone. This week on 'Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha', we navigate the complex and often winding road to forgiveness. We share personal stories of hurt, betrayal, and the journey towards letting go. We explore how forgiveness is not just an act of love, but an essential step towards healing and personal well-being. Join us as we open our hearts and share how forgiveness has helped us become more like Jesus.
In this episode of Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha, we dissect the seemingly simple but quintessential questions that can save you from potential heartache - three questions you must ask before marriage. Sharing our personal journey of 24 years of marital bliss (and occasional chaos), we offer you pearls of wisdom on managing change, setting expectations right, and the art of loving when you're not quite 'liking.'
Get ready to journey with us as we unpack the virtues of the Proverbs 31 woman and illuminate the principles that transcend gender. Promising empowerment, our episode is a must-listen for anyone striving for growth in their spiritual journey, and a deeper understanding of the women in their lives. This is not just for the ladies, gents - this is your chance to glean deep insights into the driving forces of your mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters.
In this episode, we address the seductive pull of worldly pleasures. The key here is a relationship with God . We caution against the allure of the world's 'coolness' and how it can compromise your holiness. Join us as we unpack these insights and more, encouraging you to truly value holiness as an essential part of your Christian journey.
Ever felt unheard in your relationship? We, Ken and Tabatha, discuss how to initiate conversations about communication, with a focus on partners who are reluctant to open up. Our faith-based advice emphasizes the importance of prayer in navigating such delicate aspects of relationships, and we assure you, it's a game-changer!
Ever found yourself questioning the strength of your relationship? A feeling all too familiar to us, Ken and Tabatha. We've traveled that rocky road and turned our marital agony into a pathway of hope for others. Our journey in marriage has been a tumultuous ride, filled with trials and tribulations. But, with God's grace, we transformed our relationship, and now we're here to share with you five key points that brought about a divine turnaround in our marriage.
What if you had the blueprint to navigate the complexities of sexual sin and its consequences? Picture the liberating sense of breaking free from the chains of immorality. That's what we offer in this enlightening discussion. We pull back the curtain on how pop culture often promotes sexual sins and the ways in which these can shatter our relationship with God. Drawing inspiration from Paul's stern warnings to the Corinthian church, we underline the need to measure ourselves by the Bible's standards, not our own.
REGISTER FOR ALIVE CONFERENCE 23' https://myalivechurch.org/conferece23
Ever found yourself grinding your teeth when your spouse leaves the lights on, for the tenth time? We've all been there. So put on your headphones, and join us, Ken and Tabatha, on an openhearted discussion about how to navigate those "Help, my spouse gets on my nerves!" moments. We're pulling back the curtain on common annoyances in marriage and sharing strategies that have worked for us in our 24 years together.
REGISTER FOR ALIVE CONFERENCE 2023: https://www.myalivechurch.org/conference23
Welcome to an episode that promises to shake up your preconceived notions about sexuality and replace the lies with love-filled truth. We're not afraid to ask the hard questions - is living together before marriage harmful? Does our sexuality define our identity? Can we break free from the devil's lies about our worth, abilities, and circumstances?
Ever dreamt of owning your own home but felt like it was beyond reach? Join us as we strip away the complexities of home ownership with Mike Collier, real estate mogul and financial freedom advocate. From his early days at Disney to the thrill of closing a real estate deal, Mike's story is one of determination and perseverance.
What if the secret to a thriving marriage isn't found in solving every problem, but in choosing which problems actually matter? Drawing from 24 years of marriage experience, we reveal why "not sweating the small stuff" might be the relationship superpower you've been overlooking.
Remember your wedding day? The birth of your children? The special celebrations? Of course you do. But do you remember every dirty dish, unmade bed, or forgotten errand that triggered an argument? Probably not—and that's precisely the point. When we fixate on minor irritations, we risk damaging something permanent over something temporary.
We tackle the critical distinction between mothering and wifing—a relationship dynamic that silently erodes many marriages. A mother hovers, controls, and directs; a wife comes alongside, supports, and honors. Through the powerful concept of "incubation," we explore how wives can nurture their husband's vision rather than dominating or dismissing it. This partnership approach creates space for both spouses to flourish.
Kindness emerges as the cornerstone of marital harmony. Many withhold kindness fearing it signals weakness, but scripture reveals kindness as divine strength in action. By becoming "Chief Encouragement Officers" in our homes, we create atmospheres where love thrives despite imperfections. The challenging question we pose: Would you want to live with you?
Through the lens of the "love chapter" in 1 Corinthians 13, we provide practical guidance for letting love—not irritation—guide your responses. When we remember that "love keeps no record of wrongs," we free ourselves from scorekeeping and create space for genuine connection.
Join us next Thursday as we continue unpacking marriage wisdom that transforms relationships from battlegrounds into sanctuaries where both partners can thrive.
Have you ever found yourself in a heated disagreement in front of your kids and wondered if it was a healthy environment for them? Join us, Ken and Tabatha, as we share from our two-decade-long marriage journey, on how such situations can be leveraged to teach kids life skills and dealing with conflicts. Drawing from our personal experiences as parents, we engage in a frank discussion about the fine line between being a parent and a pastor.
REGISTER FOR ALIVE CONFERENCE 2023 www.myalivechurch.org/conference23
Ever wondered how to create an unshakeable bond in your marriage that not only withstands the test of time but also grows stronger with each passing day? Are you eager to understand how to make your marriage divorce-proof? Join us as we embark on this enlightening journey into the realm of love, faith, and lifelong commitment. We share invaluable insights into the foundational principles of maintaining a strong, vibrant, and faithful marriage.
We're taking you on a deep dive into the underestimated power of words and their ability to influence the course of our lives. This isn't just about cussing, it's about the vitality of our thoughts, meditations, and the choices we make with our language.
Have you ever stopped to consider the destructive power of pride? That's right, we're turning a spotlight on this often-overlooked culprit that can wreak havoc in every aspect of our lives, from marriages to finances. We're Ken and Tabatha, and in this episode, we're taking a deep dive into pride, its dangers and subtle disguises, and how it can give rise to a judgmental spirit.
From the words of Deuteronomy 8, we unearth the perilous consequences of pride and the importance of acknowledging our source and God's grace. We're not just talking about it; we're doing something about it. We're kick-starting a humility movement, a journey towards recognizing and renouncing pride, and we're inviting you to join us. It's about navigating success without falling into the pride trap and ensuring our best moments don't lead us on a detour.
We're sharing personal stories, shedding light on the sneaky ways pride can creep into our lives, and offering insights on how to replace it with humility, accountability, and godly confidence. We'll show you how to face your pride head-on, how to respond to unfair situations, and how to put a face to those causing you pain or anger. It's an all-out battle against pride, and it starts with choosing humility and a reverence for God. So, come, let's do life together, the humble way.
Have you ever found yourself stuck in the perilous loop of the blame game? You're not alone, and we're here to explore it together. In our conversation today, we're pulling back the curtain on blame shifting - the insidious habit of dodging accountability and pointing fingers. Let's uncover how this ancient habit, rooted in the disobedience of Adam and Eve, affects our lives today, and learn how to take personal responsibility.
Ever wondered why some relationships flourish while others flounder? Today, we're going to guide you on a journey to unlock the answers. We start by shattering a common misconception: your satisfaction comes from God, not from being married. With insights drawn from our own experiences, both as singles and married individuals, we propose 10 transformative ways to prime yourself for marriage. Our aim is to help you step into marriage as a fulfilled individual, rather than two halves seeking completion.
Let's switch gears a bit and venture into the exciting, yet often puzzling world of dating. Cultivating an unshakeable level of inner confidence is key. No desperation allowed here! We'll explain why having a life outside of dating is just as important as the dating itself. We'll also talk about why it's essential to focus more on spiritual qualities rather than being overly hung up on physical appearances.
And finally, are you ready to make your marriage a success? We'll highlight the value of investing time in prayer, mission trips, and small groups. It's about being actively engaged in the work of the Lord. We'll also discuss the importance of being in the best shape of your life - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. And no, we're not just talking about hitting the gym, but presenting the best version of yourself in every possible way. Remember, you don't have to wait until you're married to learn about marriage. So, whether you're single, dating, or considering proposing, join us as we share our experiences and insights to guide you on your relationship journey.
Have you ever pondered over the void that resides deep inside you, regardless of your material accomplishments? Join us as Pastor Craig Altman of Grace Family Church unfolds his captivating journey from an unconventional religious background to a profound encounter with God. This episode promises to inspire you, as Pastor Craig’s story is compelling evidence of how faith can transform your life, filling that void and bringing you uncontainable joy.
Picture being not just a king or queen, but a kingdom builder, tasked with amassing wealth and using it to further the kingdom of God. A task that offers immense rewards. We delve into this concept, using examples from both the Bible and modern business. Learn as we analyze scriptures like Deuteronomy 8:18, debunk the myth that money is inherently evil, and discuss the importance of wisdom in managing both natural and spiritual resources.
Ever wondered how your faith shapes your relationships? Join us, Ken and Tabatha, as we open up about our personal journeys navigating relationships through the lens of faith. From the impact of faith on our relationships, to the importance of surrounding ourselves with the right people, we share insights based on our experiences and belief systems. We also shed light on the importance of inventorying the people in our lives and ensuring they occupy the right space.
If you've ever found yourself in a challenging relationship situation and wondered how to respond, we've got you covered. We delve into the dynamics of cultivating healthy relationships and the discernment needed to understand who to keep close and who to distance ourselves from. This wasn't an easy journey for us, but through trial and error, we've learned to set boundaries around unhealthy relationships while loving people from a distance. We also touch on the effects of bad company and the importance of investing in beneficial relationships.
This episode may challenge your perspectives, but we promise it'll leave you with valuable insights and practical strategies to navigate your relationships effectively.
What if managing finances in your marriage was not a source of tension, but a pathway to unity and freedom? Join us as we shine a light on the significance of a shared mindset in financial matters within a marriage, and discover how transforming your perspective on money can create harmony. We discuss ways to shift from individualistic attitudes towards money to a team mindset, guided by the teachings of the Bible on the love of money. Also don't miss our invite to our annual conference, where we'll explore this topic of shared finances in marriage even further!
Have you ever faced a moment when everything you were working toward seemed to hit a wall? That intersection of disappointment and decision is exactly what we're diving into today as we explore the powerful concepts of pivoting and rebounding.
Life rarely follows a straight line. Dreams get derailed, plans fall apart, and sometimes what seemed like the perfect path suddenly becomes impassable. But what if these moments aren't failures but invitations to something better? Drawing from our own journey through cancer, ministry transitions, and business pivots, we share how to discern when it's time to change direction versus when to push through resistance.
The principle is simple yet profound: evaluate fruitfulness. Has what you've been doing produced the results you hoped for? If not, perhaps it's time for a strategic pivot. This doesn't mean abandoning your vision—it means finding a better route to get there. As we discuss in this episode, sometimes what appears to be a roadblock is actually divine redirection toward something greater than you initially imagined.
Equally important is the art of rebounding after failure. Your past is just a chapter, not your whole story. Many of the most successful people attribute their greatest achievements to lessons learned through their biggest disappointments. What if your current setback is actually setting you up for your greatest comeback?
The enemy of both pivoting and rebounding is a victim mentality. When we see ourselves as victims of circumstances rather than overcomers through Christ, we surrender our power to write the next chapter. Developing what we playfully call a "Scrappy" mentality—that determined spirit that refuses to stay down—positions you for victory regardless of what you're facing.
Whether you're considering a change in your career, ministry, relationships, or personal development, this conversation will equip you with practical wisdom to navigate life's inevitable transitions with courage and faith. Subscribe, share with someone who needs this message, and join us at KenandTabitha.com for more resources to fuel your journey.
Have you ever found yourself dancing on the tightrope of financial differences and disagreements in your marriage, especially when it comes to tithing or battling debts? We've been there too and we can tell you that the solution starts with open conversations, seeking agreement, and respecting individual convictions. This episode of Asking Questions Part 2 of Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha brings you real-life experiences, insights, and advice about navigating through these issues, as well as some of the most heart-wrenching and sensitive topics.
Are you dragging yourself through the day, desperately longing for a burst of energy? Our 23-year marriage has seen its fair share of struggles, from dealing with depression to battling cancer, and we're here to share our experiences and insights on overcoming physical and emotional exhaustion. Let us guide you on a journey towards better energy management and well-being in our latest episode.
Marriages don't break overnight, and they aren't restored in a day either. In this raw and revealing conversation, Ken and Tabatha share the five transformative keys that saved their once-broken relationship and built the foundation for their marriage journey.
"Locate where you are" begins their practical framework—because you can't navigate to Macy's without first finding the "You Are Here" dot on the mall directory. This honest self-assessment creates the starting point for genuine change. From there, the couple dismantles the myth that you should "work on yourself first" before addressing your marriage, showing how personal growth and relationship building must happen simultaneously.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when Tabitha reveals her "jujitsu approach" to winning Ken's heart during their darkest season. Rather than matching his distance with her own withdrawal, she chose selfless love—preparing meals he wouldn't eat, showing affection he initially rejected—until her consistent kindness broke through his defenses in ways confrontation never could.
You'll hear their passionate plea to remove "divorce" from your vocabulary, including the moving story of a couple who literally cut the word from their family dictionary during their wedding ceremony. And finally, they share the cornerstone of their restoration: putting God at the center of everything.
Whether you're fighting to save a troubled marriage or seeking to strengthen a good one, these battle-tested principles offer both hope and practical pathways forward. As Ken and Tabatha remind us, sometimes the greatest victories come when we fight not with our flesh, but with our faith.
Finding a church home is extremely important.. In this episode we talk all about church hurt, false prophets, making a covenant with the church, the importance of attending church and so much more.
We have been sober for about 22 years, and there are many reasons why. In this episode, we share our story with alcohol, and the reason we decided to stopped drinking. This is a good one, you want to sit back, grab a snack and listen to the whole thing.
We all go through disappointment at some time in our lives. In this video I break down what has helped me cope with the disappointments that come with life.
Discipline can often time be difficult to obtain because the desires of our flesh are not necessarily things that are healthy for us. In this episode I sit with Josh Baker and talk about having discipline not only in our physical life, but also spiritual.
Even though we may not want to go through hard things we are going to face hardships. Knowing how to process the pain is important to be able to live a better life. In this episode, we talk about the hardest things we have been through, and what has helped us process this pain.
Helping your kids want a relationship with God is not always the easiest task. Especially when they are being more influenced by their friends than they are by their parents. In this episode, we dive in with Chris Estrada to talk all things about how to help your children want to have a relationship with God.
The secret weapon sitting on your shelf might be collecting dust. When was the last time you actually opened your Bible and studied it with purpose? In this powerful conversation, Ken and Tabatha tackle one of the most fundamental yet overlooked aspects of Christian life - how to develop a meaningful relationship with Scripture.
Christians often struggle with Bible study, feeling intimidated by ancient text or unsure how to extract relevant meaning for today's challenges. Both hosts candidly share their early experiences with Scripture - from falling asleep mid-verse to treating the Bible like a history textbook rather than living revelation. Their breakthrough came not through rigid discipline but through supernatural activation of the Holy Spirit, transforming words on a page into divine encounters.
The conversation moves beyond theory into practical application with five essential keys for effective Bible study: starting small with quality over quantity, using frameworks like SOAP (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer), establishing rhythm rather than rules, utilizing tools that match your learning style, and most critically, inviting the Holy Spirit's illumination. They emphasize that Scripture serves as our offensive spiritual weapon - the sword that cuts through depression, doubt, and spiritual warfare when wielded properly.
What makes this episode particularly valuable is the balanced approach to traditional and modern study methods. While honoring the tactile experience of paper Bibles with highlights and notes, they also embrace digital resources and audio versions for different learning styles. The hosts create space for both structured and free-spirited approaches to Scripture engagement, acknowledging that different seasons of life require adaptable strategies.
Ready to transform your relationship with God's Word? Listen now, and discover how to move beyond surface-level reading into life-changing revelation that powers every area of your life.
Are you having weekly family meetings? Communication is the lifeline of a relationship. These meetings are crucial in a family so that you can talk about things to be on the same page as well as catch it before it becomes an argument due to miscommunication. In this episode, we teach you how we have family meetings.
Most of our lives are not lived on the mountain top, it is lived mid mountain. So we are not always having babies, getting married, graduating, getting promotions. Most of our lives are lived washing dishes, picking up kids from school, cleaning, going to work. In this episode we break down what it really looks like to have joy in the mundane things and when you do not feel like it.