“No one smells what space smells like when you scream… in space”

A theremin plays that one thing that it can do in the background as the panel of peril walk through a small graveyard filled with (five or six) wobbly tombstones. They are searching for the screening room for this week’s film Plan 9 From Outer Space (Ed Wood, 1957).

In what some have dubbed the ‘worst film ever made’, SEE! zombies rise from the grave (Bela Lugosi, Vampira, Tor Johnson)! WATCH! in horror as they slowly shamble about killing the living and that! VIEW! the alien spacecraft that hovers ominously and perhaps controls the nefarious creatures! Will humanity prevail???

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiZp2sXkVUg

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Yes, dear listener, the glistening chrome spaceship from beyond the stars holds the power to control the undead! But not for pure malice, friends. No. They mean to prevent a man-made apocalypse of the entire universe, thanks to the human discovery of solaronite: the very real, the very dangerous substance that explodes sunlight particles that fill both human and inhuman air! Can the humans prevent this diabolical plan to save the universe, or shall we become death the destroyer of worlds?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the aliens’s plan (9)? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“I think they deserved to die, if that’s what killed ‘em”

The panel of peril fall a small distance from a rickety bridge into a shallow river and arrive home soaking wet! They are sopping wet, but otherwise fine – thus their viewing of Beetlejuice (Tim Burton, 1988) shall commence as planned!

When the Deetz family (Catherine O’Hara, Winona Ryder) move from the city into a new home they plan to do what new homeowners always do – redocrate, remodel, redesign. But little do they know that the house is home to it supernatural former residents the Maitlands (Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis). A battle of the wills commences, but which family shall gain the upper hand?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ickbVzajrk0

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The ghostly duo decide to enlist the dubious services of “bio-exorcist” Betelgeuse (Michael Keaton) to help rid them of those pesky city folk. Things don’t quite go how the Maitlands’ imagined however, as they become fond of the youngest member of the new residents, and Betelgeuse demands that same girl’s hand in marriage. Yikes.

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the ghost with the most’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

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“Live fast, die young, leave a terrible-looking Smurf-corpse”

The panel of peril pull up at their local Netto, shove as much tinned goods, AKs, ammo, and Bolinger into their shopping trolley/wheelbarrow as they can, before holing up to watch this week’s film Dawn Of The Dead (George A. Romero, 1978).

The (zombie) apocalypse is here! Ken Foree, David Emgee, Gaylen Ross and Scott H. Reiniger play a quartet determined to not only survive, but thrive in this new world filled with shambling, hungry, animated corpses. Taking refuge in a shopping mall, they live a life of surprising comfort, if not outright decadence, their every need catered for by the fine establishments within. But for how long will their consumerist utopia remain a safe-haven?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_EviQj5tvA

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Are they safe… in a word, ‘no’. In two words, ‘no, no’. Eventually falling foul of a large, invading biker gang (spearheaded by the legendary Tom Savini), our heroes have two choices – fight or flight. Will they stand their ground and take on the bikers and zombies simultaneously, or will they literally take flight in their snazzy TV station ‘copter?

But just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon a bunch of smelly, nerd, bikers’ plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“You slaggin’ me?”

The panel of peril stand side by side, stare into the bathroom mirror whilst having a group shave and DO NOT say Candyman five times because that would be very silly indeed. Instead, they finish shaving, towel off the excess moisture from their faces and sit down to watch Nia DaCosta’s legacy sequel to Candyman… Candyman!

Candyman (2021) finds local artist Anthony McCoy (Yahya Abdul Mateen II) drawn into the folklore of urban legend the Candyman whilst researching for his latest piece. But a fateful trip to the projects of Cabrini Green will send him down an irrevocable path of horror following a chance encounter with a bee and local Candyman lore-master William Burke (Colman Domingo). Will Anthony escape the clutches of the mythical monster (Tony Todd), or will he join a long list of victims?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikDJlfuU758

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

As Anthony investigates the differing tales of the Candymen who have haunted Cabrini Green throughout the ages local launderette owner Burke enacts his evil scheme. He manipulates the artist’s every move as he twists Anthony’s mind, body and soul into that of the newest incarnation of Cabrini Green’s vengeful spirit. But to what end? And will Burke succeed in his diabolical plan?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Music by QubeSounds from Pixabay

“Catching blood in a Snap, Crackle and Pop bowl”

The panel of peril throw themselves in front of a gunman during a prison escape, get bundled into a high-tech plane, transported to the hidden nation of Wakanda, and upon waking go “Buhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” They then watch the MCU’s Black Panther before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod. Normal Monday stuff.

Black Panther (2018) sees T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) struggle to modernise the country he presides over, and he is hindered by challenges from within (M’Baku played by Winston Duke) and without (Killmonger played by Michael B. Jordan and Klaue played by Andy Serkis). Can T’Challa stave off those threats, protect his nation and atone for his family’s past misdeeds?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjDjIWPwcPU

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Eric Killmonger is a man with a chip on his shoulder. Cousin of T’Challa, his claim to the throne of Wakanda is fuelled by the trauma of witnessing his father’s murder at the hands of (former Wakandan sovereign) King T’Chaka as a child, and the burden of the weight of history of African Americans being sold into slavery. He’s a powder keg ready to explode, but will he succeed in a hostile takeover of Wakanda and then the planet?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villains’ masterplan? And who will be coronated this week’s most diabolical?

Music by 24414830 from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“The teeth in the opening segment look very good for a 1970s teeth”

The panel of peril apply their collective lippy, pull on some fishnets, pour a load of food colouring (or something) into a bath and somehow create human (?) life! After which they relax by watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

This week’s film was released in 1975 and sees engaged, virginal, squares Brad (Barry Bostwick) and Janet (Susan Sarandon) suffer a car malfunction one drive that sees them having to spend the night at a creepy castle in the middle of nowhere. Populated by a colourful cast of characters including Dr. Frank N Furter (the incomparable Tim Curry), Riff Raff (Richard O’Brien), Magenta (Patricia Quinn) and the titular Rocky (Peter Hinwood), will the paramours make it to the morning – and at what cost?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4plqh6obZW4

Every 20th Century Fox Fanfare Variation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqMokB1lZYE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Dr. Frank N Furter is a creature of excess, but at heart they just want to be loved. So much so that Frank is willing to create the perfect lover/companion to satisfy their every need. But will Brad and Janet discover Frank’s diabolical plot, or will they themselves be seduced by the devilishly handsome Doctor? Maybe both, who knows?! (I know)

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

TIME WARP!

Original version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umj0gu5nEGs

Damian cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gti_D7jx7cM

Glee cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9VJqA_t8LQ

Tenacious D cover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aZPJBjutY0

“Like some macabre beaver”

The panel of peril crack their knuckles revealing just how ruddy tattooed those very joints are: LOVE? HATE? Yes, that’s what they say, can you believe it? Then they watch Night of the Hunter before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Night of the Hunter (1955) is film actor Charles Laughton’s lone directorial effort and casts Robert Mitchum as dodgy preacher Harry Powell as he arrives in town to try and find the money former cellmate Ben Harper has hidden on his wife and children’s farmland. Will Powell find the cash, and what depths will he stoop to in order to gain it?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8dX6ZKJe2o

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Ingratiating himself into the Harper family by marrying then murdering matriarch Willa, Harry knows the way to the money is by getting the information from children John and Pearl. When they escape his clutches just how will he find them and by extension the wonga?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Uranium kids toys here!:

https://thebulletin.org/virtual-tour/worlds-most-dangerous-toy-radioactive-atomic-energy-lab-kit-with-uranium-1950/

Jellied tomato refresher: https://dreamingofchickens.com/2017/10/10/that-70s-diet-day-1-jellied-tomato-refresher/

Vaseline advertisement: https://www.reddit.com/r/vintageads/comments/4snbqq/so_pure_you_can_eat_it_1930s_vaseline_white/

Lux advertisement: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/173574290344

Butter advertisement: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/boy-eating-butter-ad/

Hoover advertisement: https://visualpast.wordpress.com/2014/08/27/sexism-in-the-1950s/

Free for chubbies advertisement: https://www.kingofcopy.com/ads/free-for-chubbies/

Music by ASTROFREQ from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by PianoAmor from Pixabay

“This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps”

The panel of peril open a container of half and half, give it a sniff, then settle in to watch Joel and Ethan Coen’s The Big Lebowski. Afterwards they plan on lighting fire to a big old doobie and inhaling the smoke before trying to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

The Big Lebowski (1998) finds The Dude (Jeff Bridges) being enlisted as investigator into the kidnapping plot of Bunny Lebowski, trophy wife of his rich namesake Jeffrey Lebowski. A madcap plot involving The Dude’s bowling team friends Walter (John Goodman), Donny (Steve Buscemi), The Jesus (John Turturro), a group of nihilists and their ferret, and many, many more! Can The Dude get to the bottom of mystery?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd-go0oBF4Y

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

As The Dude digs deeper and deeper into the mystery of the missing Bunny, several suspects present themselves: the nihilists, porn film director Jackie Treehorn, Bunny herself and finally the titular Big Lebowski. Who is to blame for this most underhanded/confusing of situations? Find out in the pod (I already know, we recorded it aaaaaages ago).

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

“The Departed. Let’s talk about The Departed.”

The panel of peril pause, after watching The Departed, for a moment; Craig double crosses Gaz, Ben double crosses Craig, and Adam double crosses Ben. What a pickle! However will they get on the same page to then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod? I should make clear that they aren’t dead, just horribly injured and capable of speech.

Martin Scorsese’s The Departed (2006) finds Irish mob boss Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) installing a mole in the Boston Police Department (Colin Sullivan played by Matt Damon) to gain the inside track on manoeuvres against his operation. Unbeknownst to him, police office Billy Costigan (Leonardo Dicaprio) has been sent on an undercover operation into the mob too. What are the odds?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iojhqm0JTW4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Pretty much the same as above this week, tbh innit? Dicaprio’s trying to get dirt on the mob, Damon’s feeding intel to the mob – it’s a whole dosey doe type dealio. But will Costello’s scheme be successful in keeping him safe and throwing his lackeys under the proverbial bus? (See episode 10 for details on that very bus)

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the mob’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

A list of the names of unarmed African Americans murdered by the police can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_

Sound Effect by SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

Music by GioeleFazzeri from Pixabay

“Is Mickey Mouse really a Communist?”

The panel of peril hold back their baser urges, stop playing pattycake, pull down the bed hidden in the wall of their small office and lay down to watch this week’s film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit sees the titular cartoon critter framed for the murder of Toontown owner Roger Acme, and it lies with whiskey sodden detective Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) to clear his name. Who really killed Acme and why? How does no one see how obviously evil Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd) clearly is? And why was Roger framed for murder?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEIJpS26aAw

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Traumatised by the death of his brother at the hands of a toon, Eddie Valiant is reluctant to help Roger clear his name to say the least. Encountering the likes of Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny, Dumbo and Betty Boop, Valiant must venture into the deepest depths of Toontown to uncover Judge Doom’s plot to dip every toon and turn town into one big road.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

The in-universe movie posters can be seen on our Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/diabolicalpod/

Paul Reubens’ voice test here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDKfLZNMtmU

Joe Pantoliano test footage here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw77Vt6sgdc

“Odmazdata is better than ice cream, unlike pasta”

The panel of peril take their place in some large comfy swivel chairs, place their chin on their fist and engage(!) with 1982’s Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Wrath of Khan sees the return of one of The Original Series’ most iconic villains Kahn Noonien Singh (Ricardo Montalban) as he seeks vengeance against Admiral James T. Kirk (William Shatner) and fellow Enterprise crew members Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Doctor McCoy (DeForest Kelley) and Scotty (James Doohan). Will Khan be successful or will Kirk pull another Kobayashi Maru to wriggle his way out of this pickle?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8X44NRltMM

Marooned on an isolated planet for how ever many years it has been, Khan has had a long old time to consider how exactly to take out his wrath on Kirk. How will he do it? By trying to shoot him with his spaceship of course. But will Kirk and ALL of the crew of the Enterprise survive this DIABOLICAL plan?

Just what did the panel make of this week’s movie? How can they feasibly improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will hoist the plastic trophy that dubs them this week’s most diabolical?

GAZ’S PLAN

The river must cut the middleman here. Of course, the mediator is Chekov, and the man is the finisher. For him to use the two ill-fated objects, he must destroy them and use their murders to trash Kirk and the boys on his planet. When the crew of the Enterprise stumble upon Khan's realm, they have to stab several bugs in the ears, such as Kirk, Spock, and Vaughan. And turn them into zombie slaves. Wouldn't it be a more satisfying revenge if Mexican/Indian friends could control everything they say and do? It says "Kirk". "Now make universe hotpot noodles! Add soy sauce!" "Spoke," "Changing the channel, the coronation starts in five minutes," Boone said. "Using your medical skills, you slowly plunged the knife into Kirk's arm and he was bleeding. Khan was able to quickly release his anger, but it had been locked away for years. So the best revenge was this. Have to do justice with looted money for months. I think it's just playing, and even a year. Unlike pasta, "revenge is better than cold food". But I added the last one.

There is an old Klingon proverb that says "Odmazdata is better than ice cream, unlike pasta".

Now, what I’ve done there is run my plan through Google translate a few times. It went: ENGLISH – WELSH – SPANISH – SWAHILI – JAPANESE – ENGLISH – SLOVAK – ICELANDIC – MACEDONIAN – KOREAN – URDU – ENGLISH. If you’re too basic to understand what it all meant, then here’s the original.

PLAN ORIGINAL

Khan should really just cut out the middle man here – the middle man being Chekov and the guy from The Terminator, of course. If he absolutely must use those two unfortunates, then he should do away with them with a phaser and use their deaths to lure Kirk and the lads down to his shit heap of a planet. Once the Enterprise crew have alighted Khan’s domain, he should stick some of those little space worms in Kirk, Spock, Bones etc. ears and make them his zombie slaves.

Wouldn’t it be a more satisfying revenge for our Mexican/Indian friend to have mastery over everything that his foe/s say and do? “Kirk,” he would say, “make me a space Pot Noodle now! Extra soy sauce!” “Spock,” he would say, “change the channel, Coronation Street is starting in five minutes!” “Bones,” he would say, “use your medical knowledge and poke this knife slowly into Kirk’s arm and bleed him slowly so that he becomes weak, never knowing why he weakens but never dying either.” Khan could have release his wrath in one fell swoop, but I think toying with his prey over months or even years, as he was trapped for years, would be the best revenge. And as the old Klingon proverb goes ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ unlike a Pot Noodle. I added that last bit though.

Sound Effect by SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Sound Effect from Pixabay

“Full of holes like fleshy Swiss cheese in a pool of ruby red fondue”

The panel of peril turn off their Elk Rotary lawnmower, crack open a Penn Pavel’s Beer and settle in to watch 1998’s The Truman Show. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

The Truman Show was a bizarrely prescient satire released just before the first series of Big Brother in which Truman Burbank (Jim Carrey) slowly comes to realise that he is the only real person in town, and town itself is construct too. Controlled by the God-like Christof (Ed Harris) can Truman escape his fictional life and reunite with his one true love (Natasha McElhone) in the real world?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlnmQbPGuls

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Purchased at birth by a television conglomerate every friend and family member that Truman has ever known has been an actor. Being force-fed the white picket fence American Dream begins to rankle with him once strange things start happening like a spotlight falling from the sky. Just how far will he go to escape the dome that his town resides in? And will he survive in the attempt?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Official site for The Stanford Prison Experiment

*Apologies for the slight audio glitches during the episode. It won't happen again (probably).

“This is just like a dark Look Who’s Talking”

The panel of peril are comin’ for ya like Elora as we travel to a magical land to chat about 1988’s Willow. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Willow was George Lucas’s major foray into the world of fantasy as he produced and has a story credit on Ron Howard’s film. A visual epic with an intimate story, Willow tells the tale of the child Elora who is prophesied to be the one who will ‘undo’ evil sorceress Bavmorda. Needless to say, old Bav isn’t too keen on that idea and will stop at nothing to get her hands on the bairn.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KhFp9fqrHc

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Bavmorda (Jean Marsh) has long ruled the land with an iron fist but becomes increasingly concerned about a prophecy that says a child will be her undoing. Ordering every pregnant woman be imprisoned, so it comes to pass that Elora is found sailing down a river by Willow (Warwick Davis) who undertakes an epic journey to protect the child and defeat the evil Queen. Val Kilmer’s Madmartigan and Joanne Whalley’s Sorsha will aid in him in his quest.

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Opening Sound Effect by SergeQuadrado from Pixabay

Opening Sound Effect from Pixabay

Watch the trailer for the sequel Disney+ series here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbbveDpUZv4

“Don’t slate broccoli”

The panel of peril stub out their cigarette, cigar, and pipe under the heel of their cowboy boot and head into a convenience store that is showing this week’s film, Loaded Weapon 1 (Gene Quintano, 1993), for some reason.

Detectives Colt (Emilio Estevez) and Luger (Samuel L Jackson) are the prototypical chalk + cheese = dynamite buddy cop team. Colt is a tortured soul who dines on microwave burritos and laments the loss of his precious dog Claire. Luger is the family man who dines on take out pizza ‘round the table with his ‘loving’ family. Can they unravel the mystery of the Wilderness Girls cookies, and discover General Mortars (William Shatner) and Mr. Jigsaw (Tim Curry)’s wicked plan?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ET5XJqPAW0

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The dastardly duo is seeking a microfilm that contains the recipe to disguise delicious cocaine as delicious cookies. As schemes go, it’s a bit of a doozy, and Mortars has no compunction about sending helicopters and bazookas and men dressed as girl scouts after his enemies (and eating piranhas).

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the Mortars’ cookie-laundering plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“You can’t just cast Jack Lemmon in everything”

The panel of peril alight one of those special cinema buses that I’ve just invented to watch and then chat about 1994’s Speed. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Speed was one of the breakout hits of ’94 and established both Keanu Reeves as an action star, and director Jan De Bont as a hot commodity on the Hollywood action scene. Speed is an economical, hostage situation type deal in which Reeves must stop Dennis Hooper’s disgruntled ex-cop from bombing the best folk in the world: bus folk.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8piqd2BWeGI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) is an ex-cop with a chip on his shoulder and a cheap gold watch around his wrist. When he takes out his retirement-based frustrations on innocent Los Angelinos in a bombing campaign it’s up to Jack Traven (Reeves) and spunky, substitute driver Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) to foil his attempt at extorting money in exchange for the safety of a speeding bus. Can they keep above 50MPH and save the day?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

“It’s ephemeral, you can’t touch it”

The panel of peril know what’s up, and what’s up is having a good old chinwag about The Invisible Man from nouveau horror maestro Leigh Whannell. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Released in 2020, The Invisible Man retools HG Wells literary classic for the modern age as a tale of spousal abuse, mental health abuse and technology gone wrong. But don’t worry, it’s actually a lot of fun and not quite as grim as it sounds. Can Cecilia expose Griffin as the madman he truly is?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSBsNeYqh-k

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Adrian Griffin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) is an abusive husband who has a pathological need to control everything that his wife Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss) does. When he ‘dies’, Cecilia spirals into near psychosis at the thought that he is still following and watching her – torturing her from beyond the grave… or is there a more to it than that?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Hear Tom Cruise’s bizarre scream in the trailer for The Mummy here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41vArfMDmmo

Tickets for The Big Scream Halloween Film Festival can be found here: https://www.forbiddenworldsfilmfestival.co.uk/

“Does it pass mustard?”

Removing their tiny hands from the Washington Veterans’ Memorial, the panel of peril valmorphanise to their landmark bases to discuss Team America: World Police. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Released in 2004, Team America takes satirical aim at the culture of celebrities interjecting themselves into high-level world politics, action movie cliches, American exceptionalism, and the bizarre proclivities of foreign dictators. Brought to you by South Park’s Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Team America is one for the ages.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMyJWuvW_9k

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Kim Jong-il has a lot to deal with: weapons inspections, crippling loneliness and interfering American secret ops units. All he wants to do is reduce every nation on Earth to a third world country by detonating a series of bombs during the course of his North Korean Peace Festival (deep breath). Can Team America foil his dastardly scheme?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be anointed this week’s most diabolical?

“I think Adam West was getting it all over”

The panel of peril take a short break from obsessively labelling everything in their stately manor to talk 1966’s absurd classic Batman The Movie. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Batman The Movie was released between season 1 and 2 of the television series in order to boost overseas sales, and sees the Rogue’s Gallery team up to take on Batman and Robin. Adam West and Burt Ward’s iconic Dynamic Duo are all that stands in the way of a bataclysm.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeyMfq6v190

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT*******

The Joker, Catwoman, The Penguin and The Riddler finally have a logical fool proof plan. They intend to dehydrate world leaders, reducing them to a pile of coloured salt, in order to exchange their welfare for a tidy ransom. It’s so simple! Can the Caped Crusader and his faithful ward stop things from going from bat to worse?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villains’ masterplan? And who will be coronated this week’s most diabolical?

“If Gaz, Ben and I are agreed on something which you’re not then you’re basically wrong”

The panel of peril take a break from supervising Filipino tilt-a-whirl operators to discuss Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis’s The Campaign. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Released in 2012, The Campaign was directed by comedy powerhouse Jay Roach and takes aim at the corruption and inherent preposterousness of big-time American politics. It also stars such comedy luminaries as Jason Sudeikis, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd and Sarah Baker.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0xxX55rOjY

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Political king-makers the Motch Brothers seek to replace incumbent Representative Cam Brady after a public faux pas with loveable nobody Marty Huggins. Their ultimate aim is establish factories that will allow  them to import cheap Chinese labour to further their business interests. Money makes the world go ‘round, after all.

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the Motch’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical?

“Have you ever had trifle at a Chinese restaurant?”

A fantastical wire-fu battle rages as the panel of peril tries to watch this week’s film, John Carpenter’s Big Trouble In Little China. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Released in 1986, Big Trouble In Little China marks the fourth collaboration between fan favourite director-actor duo John Carpenter and Kurt Russell. Also starring Dennis Dun, James Hong and Kim Cattrall, it was not a hit at the time but has since gained a reputation as a cult classic.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmug65rbHh0

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Sorcerer Lo Pan must find, marry and sacrifice a green-eyed girl in order to break an ancient curse. Using dark Chinese magics and the clout of the Wing Kong Exchange, only one vaguely incompetent all-American hero (and his supremely competent Chinese ‘sidekick’) can stop Lo Pan and save the day.

Was the film a hit with the panel? Just how could they improve upon magical perfection? And whom will be crowned this week’s most diabolical?

"I've had a good look and our following is 87% MAGA"

The panel of peril have convened at a bucolic country home to watch this week’s film, 2017’s modern masterpiece Get Out. We then try to improve upon the villains’ diabolical plan for the privilege of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Written and directed by Jordan Peele and starring Daniel Kaluuya, Alison Williams, Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener, Get Out is one of the films that helped popularise the social horror sub genre, and won Peele an Oscar for screenwriting.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzfpyUB60YY

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The Armitage Family run an unusual business: they harvest and sell African Americans’ bodies in order to cheat death, illness and sundry afflictions. Sending the host’s consciousness to The Sunken Place, this modern-day slave trade has a startlingly long and proud record of success.

What did the panel make of this week’s film? What devilish delights can they conjure to improve upon the Armitage’s diabolical scheme? And just who will be victorious?

Us Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tzFRIQfwXg

Nope Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUgmq_8PlRY

“Like a reverse version of The Bill”

The panel of peril are back, back, back! This week’s episode has us take in the sights and sounds of Jim Carrey’s breakthrough film Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994). We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Directed by comedy maestro Tom Shadyac and starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Dan Marino and Sean Young, this is the film that gave birth to a career of fully sanctioned buffoonery.

Check out the original trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6XDai_bcPs

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Lois Einhorn has an axe to grind with American football team the Miami Dolphins. A fateful missed kick in the Superbowl leads to a hatred years in the making. Blaming playmaker Dan Marino, Einhorn will stop at nothing to ruin both him and their former franchise.

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

“I’m wearing more kimonos now than I was in 1993”

The panel of peril have convened once again to discuss the dystopian sci fi, action film Demolition Man (1993). We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Directed by Marco Brambilla and starring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock and Sir Nigel Hawthorne (!), they certainly don’t make them like this anymore.

See the trailer here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B5v6QZ5R3g

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Obsessive San Angeles mayor Dr Raymond Cocteau thaws out history's most dangerous cryogenically frozen super-criminal and brainwashes him into hunting the charismatic leader of an underground group of outlawed nonconformists. Only one man can possibly stop him: the also cryogenically frozen John Spartan. But will he succeed in his mission to demolish them?

Just what did the panel make of this one? How on Earth can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the devil will be victorious in this week’s competition?

"So it's a suicide mission?"

The inaugural meeting of the panel of peril has us chatting about 1964’s quintessential James Bond flick Goldfinger. We then try to improve upon the villain’s diabolical plan for the honour of choosing next week’s film and hosting the pod.

Directed by Guy Hamilton and starring Sean Connery, Gert Frobe, Honor Blackman and Harold Sakata. See the trailer here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA65V-oLKa8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Goldfinger plans to irradiate Fort Knox’s supply of gold bullion by detonating a dirty bomb from inside the complex, thus pushing up the value of his own reserves. The only thing that stands in his way is a fella named Bond. James Bond. Can the suave secret agent beat Goldfinger and henchpeople Oddjob and Pussy Galore in a race against time to the most secure building in America?

Just what did the panel think of the film? What plans do they have to level up Goldfinger’s scheme? And who will be victorious in this week’s competition?

“De Palma knows, the old saying goes”

Our name is Possible, Mission: Impossible, license to watch the film Mission: Impossible directed by cinematic genius Brian De Palma (1996). And that my friends is our impossible mission (impossible). And we did it.

An elite IMF team led by Jim Phelps (Jon Voight) has come a serious cropper trying to secure a non-official cover (NOC) list, which could potentially reveal the entire Impossible Mission Force’s workforce, locations, and names. The team are double-crossed in Prague eliminating Sarah (Kristin Scott Thomas), Jack (Emilio Estevez) et al leaving just Ethan (Tom Cruise) and Claire (Emmanuelle Beart) standing. Disavowed and on the run, can they swipe the real NOC list and discover the mole?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohws8y572KE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

It’s Phelps and his femme fatale wife Claire, darn it all! A cat and mouse game ensues, spanning from the CIA’s headquarters in Langley, to the Channel Tunnel rail line that runs beneath the English Channel. Time is not on Ethan’s side as the IMF, led by Kittridge (Henry Czerny), hunt Hunt down as he engages in a potentially deadly game of brinkmanship in attempting to forge the sale of the NOC list to arms dealer Max (Vanessa Redgrave) in order to draw out the Lando of the team. Yes, it is quite complicated to keep track of it all!

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Phelps’s evil plot? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. So hit subscribe and let's get diabolical!

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“If you’ve got a better way to do it, I’d like to hear it”

The panel of peril are dancing down the street stark naked, with only conveniently placed every-day items covering their ghoulies and that. They got the idea, and carefully choreographed it, from this week’s film Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (Jay Roach, 1997). This week, they are joined by Craig from Whit’s The Script podcast!

Arch enemies Austin Powers (Mike Myers) and Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) are inexorably linked, as so many arch enemies are. So when Dr. Evil has himself frozen in swinging 1967, Austin is obliged to follow suit, both thawing out 30 years hence in the responsible 90s. Both have adjustments to make, Austin with the help of Vanessa Kensington (Elizabeth Hurley) and Basil Exposition (Michale York), and the good (evil) Doctor with Number Two (Robert Wagner) and Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vsANcS4Ml8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Conspiring to steal an arsenal of nuclear weapons and hold the world to ransom – for one million dollars – Austin and Vanessa are in a race against time to stop the world going kablooey! But will the horny, randy, sexy superspy be able to resist the charms of a beautiful, and deadly, army of Fembots? Not likely if I know Powers, hahahahahahaha… He might though.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Dr. Evil’s high-stakes plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Like an alien Kinder Egg”

The panel of peril are playing chess in the park with their father and losing badly, very sad. They are interrupted by an enormous screen descending from the heavens covering the city that they are currently in in its entirety. Fortunately, the giant screen is showing this week’s film Independence Day (Roland Emmerich, 1996). Huzzah!

Steven Hiller (Will Smith), David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) and Thomas J. Whitmore (Bill Pullman) are the original odd triple. One’s a hot shot, top gun fighter pilot, one’s a nerd, and t’other is President of the United States!!! But when aliens arrive on Earth without ringing ahead to check it’s okay first, our triptych of colossal talent will need to come together to expel those inconvenient visitors.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1E7h3SeMDk

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Yes, rather like an uninvited visitor who rinses you of your secret stash of foie gras and cognac, these off world interlopers plan to strip the plant – our god damn planet – of all its resources leaving us humans either bereft or dead. Not on the USA’s watch, buckos. Galvanising the entire planet against this deadly incursion, will endure or will those awful, awful martians have their tentacles raised in victory?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the aliens’ planet-knackering plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Ya been cream pied”

The panel of peril are out shooting some hoops, only stopping to berate their teammates for their lack of reflexes and general playing skill. Giving up they retire to the indoor communal area to watch this week’s film One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (Milos Forman, 1975).

McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) is a ne’er-do-well with a cunning scheme to serve out the remainder of his prison sentence in a mental health institution. Once safely ensconced in his new abode, McMurphy becomes chummy with his fellow patients: Billy (Brad Dourif), Cheswick (Sydney Lassick), Chief (Will Sampson) and aaaaalll the rest. But his plan for the easy life and swift release soon hits a roadblock in the form of Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXrcDonY-B8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Ratched is a bit of an ol’ passive aggressive, control freak sort, you see. The majority of her patients are voluntary, yet she rules over them with an iron fist – controlling every aspect of their daily routines, and by extension their lives. Can McMurphy escape the confines of his prison by a different name, or does the good nurse have his number?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the evil scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Tia Carrera’s career was ruined by Tia Maria”

Sweaty-browed and cramped of hand, the Panel of Peril draw furiously in real-time each and every frame of this week’s film Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (Bruce Timm and Eric Radomski, 1993). Soon they shall break for a feast of marshmallows; they have earned it.

Bruce Wayne (Kevin Conroy) has lived with the trauma of his parents’ death since he was a young boy. Andrea Beaumont (Dana Delany) has lived with the trauma of her father’s death since she and Bruce had a whirlwind romance and brief engagement. When a mysterious figure known only as the Phantasm (Stacy Keach) begins to haunt both Batman and the men associated with Andrea’s father it will lead them down a path that they may never recover from.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PK5CYZlHMA

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Beaumont Sr. made a deal with the mob and it eventually cost him his life. Conveniently enough a member of Gotham’s mob at the time was arch Bat-nemesis The Joker (Mark Hamill), so get him in there! Can Batman unmask the Phantasm before they exact terrible revenge, and what will be the cost on his fragile psyche?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How the heckins can they improve upon this week’s scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

WWE’s Bray Wyatt reveals The Fiend here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Kza7j4aae4

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“She had the longest neck in the history of actors”

The Peril of Peril arrive in Los Angeles, bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Everyone loves them because they’re brilliant, and they make fast friends with an amnesiac who tells them to watch this week’s film Mulholland Drive (David Lynch, 2001). A Cowboy watches them as they watch the film.

Betty (Naomi Watts) is an actress who is sure to feature on all the hottest casting lists in LA. She is great. But when she gets drawn into the mystery surrounding the amnesiac ‘Rita’ (Laura Harring), the twosome find themselves struggling to comprehend a world filled with missing cash, put upon mafiosos, blue keys, a put upon movie director (Justin Theroux), a diner named Winkie’s, a club named Silencio, and a calmly intimidating Cowboy (Monty Montgomery).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbZJ487oJlY

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

What happens next is famously open to interpretation. Revealing a new set of characters, near identical in appearance, over 90 minutes in, again played by Watts and Harring, hints that perhaps everything was a dream until that point, or perhaps they are doppelgangers, or whatever you would like it to be. You really do need to see it for yourself, and come to your own conclusion, folks.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the evil scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Talladega Nights gets a lot better after you've seen Rise of Skywalker, that's for sure”

The Panel of Peril run and gun all your favourite film and video games characters in one fluid motion, before removing their VR headset in order to watch this week’s film. That film is Ready Player One (Steven Spielberg, 2018), and they are joined by Kevin and Jason from KJ & A Podcast!

Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan) is just like most people in the year 2045; he gets through the day any way he can before escaping to the virtual reality of the OASIS to enact his fantasies. But when the now-deceased VR creator Halliday (Mark Rylance) challenges the players to find his hidden easter egg, and gain control of the OASIS, the virtual race is on – and it will be fought to the literal death.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSp1dM2Vj48

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Nicolas Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn) plans to find the egg for his own nefarious ends. He will monetise the OASIS, restricting access for those on the lowest incomes, thereby turning a dream playground into a corporate nightmare. Starring the likes of (friend of the pod) Batman, Chun Li, Chucky and Mecha Godzilla, RP1 is certainly a film with lots of stuff to point at when you spot it.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Sorrento’s OASIS-hijacking plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“It’s like a meet-cute for two people who already met some time ago”

The Panel of Peril go to the travel agents to book themselves a lovely holiday. Their conditions for travel are thus: nice weather, entertainment provided by British reggae band, and strictly no terrorists. While the agent searches for the ideal trip, they watch this week’s film Speed 2: Cruise Control (Jan De Bont, 1997). Peering over their shoulder to join in the watch party is this week’s guest, Kris Tapley from the 50MPH Pod!

How can kind of a similar thing happen to the same person twice? That’s the question Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) asks herself as she and latest beau Alex Shaw (Jason Patric) fall foul of a bad guy’s evil scheme. But instead of a fairly high-speed bus, John Geiger (Willem Dafoe) has taken (cruise) control of a luxury liner for his own nefarious ends.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnvvh9PLWGQ

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Geiger has an axe to grind with the cruise operators who left him with copper poisoning and sent him packing once he had designed the ship’s computer systems. Well, you would, wouldn’t you? He plans to divert the Seabourn Legend off course and into the path of an oil tanker, bringing the passengers’ lives to an explosive end.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Geiger’s evil plot? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Father Ted’s version of Speed 3 is previewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSstu2tzrng

Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Rager At Sea is previewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6WUFc_8MFw

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“Stay in your lane, Heston”

The panel of peril feed their cats (cat food). They next feed their dogs. Finally… finally… they are ready to watch this week’s film Cats & Dogs (Lawrence Guterman, 2001). They are joined by Harley Mumford from Fandomentals podcast, who has also just fed his dog.

A look at the top-secret, high-tech espionage war going on between cats and dogs, of which their human owners are blissfully unaware, Cats & Dogs features a talented voice cast including Tobey Maguire, Alec Baldwin, Sean Hayes and Joe Pantoliano. Which species shall win this particular war? Whoever wins, we lose. Or not.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQ5RCk1iCY8

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Those dastardly cats plan to take over the world in one fell swoop by releasing a pathogen which will render every human being allergic to our canine friends. Truly diabolical, I’m sure you’ll agree. Will they succeed, or will those silly doggos remain our best collective best friend?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic soupcon? Could they find a way to improve the feline’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

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“Mr. Bond, you appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season”

The Panel of Peril saunter through a small mining town in their fancy BMW, before being inexplicably arrested for not stopping at an intersection. Swiftly tried and convicted, they are sentenced to watch this week’s movie Nothing But Trouble (Dan Aykroyd, 1991). They are joined in this gross punishment by this week’s guest, Jesse Hawken from the Junk Filter Pod!

Chris Thorne (Chevy Chase) is a financial publisher who just wants to impress solicitor Diane Lightson (Demi Moore) by driving her, and two Brazilian wackos, to Atlantic City. Taking an unforeseen detour, they wind up in Valkenvania, a mining town that has fallen on hard times, and fall foul of local cop Dennis (John Candy) and decrepit Judge Valkenheiser (Aykroyd).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbvIjtP7lxE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Seeking reparations for a dodgy deal he was sold years ago, the JP is a twisted ghoul of a man with a literal rollercoaster death machine, and a lethal funhouse awaiting anyone who crosses him – especially bankers. Therefore, he has a vested interest in punishing the high-flying Chris and chums when they wind up in his courthouse. It’s a comedy guys; but not as we know it!

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon Judge Valkenheiser’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

The (brutal) Roast of Chevy Chase can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG4W0OfzJjM

The German trailer for Valkenvania can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RGBvBsgc8E

An excellent documentary on the town that Valkenvania (and Silent Hill) was based on can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lftblcp0Ns&t=8soutube.com

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“Is he just horny?”

The Panel of Peril climb a big ol’ mountain to claim a mythical prize to aid them in their epic quest. That prize is a DVD of this week’s film; that quest is to watch that DVD, which is this week’s film Krull (Peter Yates, 1983). Upon climbing back down the mountain, they are met well by this week’s guest panel member, Matt Spectro!

Prince Colwyn (Ken Marshall) and Lyssa (Lysette Anthony) are happily betrothed to be married, after which they will rule over the planet Krull, presumably with a lavender fist. Their son is also prophesied to rule over the galaxy, and so they, as you can imagine, are absolutely delighted. But the arrival of a warlord known as The Beast (Tim Dry/Trevor Martin) and his army puts the kibosh on their destinies.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndpV6qfQJVw

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Gathering a band of merry men/fellowship as they traverse the countryside of Krull, Prince Colwyn, Torquil (Alun Armstrong), Ergo (David Battley) and a kindly Cyclops (Bernard Bresslaw) march on The Beast’s teleporting castle. He means to take Lyssa’s hand in marriage himself, and therefore rule the galaxy by proxy. Will Colwyn and the gang be able to locate the Black Fortress in time to stop him?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon The Beast’s prophecy-hijacking plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Surprise! Butcher’s hook up your nostril”

The Panel of Peril start creepily speaking Latin, wield small, sharp weapons at one another, but thankfully stop short of gouging their own eyes out. They’ll be needing those to watch this week’s film Event Horizon (Paul WS Anderson, 1997).

The crew of the Lewis & Clark are your typical blue-collar bunch. Miller (Laurence Fishburne), Starck (Joely Richardson), Smith (Sean Pertwee) are not best pleased when they are sent on a shaggy dog mission to recover the long-lost mega-ship the Event Horizon. The ship’s creator Weir (Sam Neill) is along for the ride, much to the crew’s chagrin, but where has the Horizon been all these years?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nlkEY-3CMI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Well… Weir explains that the ship has the ability to fold the universe in on itself, and so it turns out that it has been in… Hell! And now it wants the crew of the Lewis & Clark dead, manipulating Weir as its henchman of destruction. Can the guys and gals better their inner demons, actual demons, and BOMBS, and escape with their souls intact?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon an evil spaceship’s scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“That's what you get for inviting audience participation”

The Panel of Peril slip out of their wet clothes and into a dry martini, before taking a pew to watch this week’s film The Man With The Golden Gun (Guy Hamilton, 1974).

Has James Bond (Roger Moore) met his match in the charming, villainous and charmingly villainous Francisco Scaramanga (Christopher Lee)? As the world’s best secret agent (that’s Bond) and the world’s most expensive assassin are pitted against one another, can 007 stop the world being held to ransom by the selling of Scaramanga’s nefarious Solex solar power? Perish the thought.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF5fr3Zhi7E

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

There’s also the small matter of Scaramanga sending Bond a bullet that literally has his name on it! If I know James Bond, he’s not going to stand for that! And he doesn’t, so I am right! Culminating in a memorable funhouse duel on Scaramanga’s secret island lair, Bond will also have to contend with devious manservant cum gamesmaster Nick Nack (Herve Villechaize) in his fight for survival.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Scaramanga’s scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Alice Cooper’s rejected theme tune can be heard here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMKPTSE14tY

Sound effect: https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/spy-game-56943/

Sound effect: https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/malathion-85943/

Music: https://pixabay.com/music/pulses-007-bond-more-on-spotify-bruno-magic-148987/

Music: https://pixabay.com/music/bossa-nova-dream-by-dreams-143531/

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“You simply must introduce me to that pile of rats”

The panel of peril down a big glass of red wine and eat a plate of delicious, steamed broccoli and roasted garlic before taking in this week’s film Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Francis Ford Coppola, 1992).

Count Dracula (Gary Oldman) is an elderly gent rattling around in his large home, pining after his lost love Elisabeta (Winona Ryder). When solicitor Jonathon Harker (Keanu Reeves) turns up at his gaff to seal a London property deal, he sees that Harker’s bride to be Mina Murray (also Ryder) is the reincarnation of his centuries dead love. Can the Count win the heart of Murray or will Harker wed her as planned?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgFPIh5mvNc

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

He’s a vampire! Blah! Dracula has travelled oceans of time to find Mina and nothing will stop him from being with her now. Snacking on her best friend Lucy (Sadie Frost), avoiding blood expert Abraham Van Helsing (Anthony Hopkins) and manipulating henchman Renfield (Tom Waits), it seems as though ol’ Drac has every base covered. Will he make off with a new bride, or will a stake be put through his ambitions?

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon Count Dracula’s bloody scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

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“A haiku?”

Fighting their way past a load of goons, down a narrow corridor, the panel of peril struggle to make any headway. Finally finishing off the last of the lads (no laughing at the back there!), they slump in their chair exhausted and watch this week’s film Oldboy (Park Chan-wook, 2003).

Oh Dae-su (Choi Min-sik) is a bit of a d-bag. A drunken, irresponsible, womanising d-bag, to be specific. When he is inexplicably locked up in a single room for 15 years, by a cash-rich lad named Lee Woo-jin (Yoo Ji-tae) as it turns out, he changes his ways and becomes a stoic killing machine. Why was he imprisoned, and just how does new flame Mi-do (Kang Hye-jeong) fit into this intricate puzzle?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBNBpNcuQHI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Turns out that during their time at Evergreen, Dae-su started a scurrilous rumour that Woo-jin was having an incestuous affair with his own sister Soo-ah (Yoon Jin-seo). That rumour snowballed to the point that Soo-ah took her own life and led her broken-hearted brother on a path of long game vengeance. To tell all would be a spoiler too far. Who will come out on top of this tragic tussle and what will be left of them?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Woo-jin’s deliberate machinations? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Here lies Will Carling, the rugby guy who sh@gg3d Diana”

The panel of peril try to wrangle their pigs into the pigpen but repeatedly fall over and get all muddy. They shower off at the water hole and decide to watch a film instead: Unforgiven (Clint Eastwood, 1992).

1880: Ex-outlaw Bill Munny (Eastwood) was a bad, bad man before settling down and becoming a family man. He’d happily off women and children in his pursuit of dough alongside buddy Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman), and now he is drawn back into that world by the Schofield Kid (Jaimz Woolvet). Pursuing a bounty put on the heads of two lads who have scarred up a sex worker’s face. Will Munny claim the  bounty? One man stands in his way – unscrupulous Sheriff Little Bill (Gene Hackman).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftTX4FoBWlE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Little Bill is no fan of bounty hunters, gun slingers, ‘n’ outlaws. Just as quickly as they arrive in the town of big Whiskey, Bill is kicking the tar out of them and sending them on their merry way. Will Bill, Ned and the Kid be able to circumnavigate the control freak lawman, and will the claiming of the bounty cost them more than they stand to gain?

What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“He's not rump; he's tripe”

The panel of peril finish inspecting the last of the cow’s udders on the farm they’re working on and head home to watch this week’s film Napoleon Dynamite (Jared Hess, 2004).

Napoleon (Jon Heder) is a typical teen: he lives with his Grandma (Sandy Martin), brother Kip (Aaron Ruell), and an alpaca named Tina. He enjoys doing sweet jumps on bikes, sketching mythical creatures of his own creation, and catching delicious bass’ for romantic targets. But when Uncle Rico (Jon Gries) moves in, it really puts the liger amongst the pigeons.

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHDi_AnqwN4

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Old Rico isn’t a massive fan of Napoleon. He mocks him to his face, and throws a steak in his face… probably also makes fun of his face off screen. He’s also stuck in the past and desperate to make moolah by any means necessary, whether that be by selling shoddy Tupperware, herbal enhancers, or simply investing in the nascent science of time travel.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Rico’s cash grabbing scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Peluca: the original Napoleon Dynamite short film can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SeTfcj3UKI

Finally! PORTABLE chopsticks: https://zenminded.uk/products/snow-peak-wabuki-chopsticks-large

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“Can we all agree now that it makes more sense than Kurgan being Ric Flair in a carpark'”

The panel of peril stand about a bit as a battle rages around them; no one will fight them for some reason. As they are clearly too ‘ard for the other combatants, they head home to watch this week’s film Highlander (Russell Mulcahy, 1986).

Connor Macleod (Christopher Lambert) can only be killed by the act of decapitation (preferably by sword). He is a member of an exclusive band of centuries-old Immortals who await the Gathering, at which they will fight to the end, and after which there can be only one. Guided by mentor Ramirez (Sean Connery), can Macleod survive to the bitter end and take out arch-nemesis The Kurgan (Clancy Brown)?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omOZyLmNMJs

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The Kurgan is out for more than just the world domination his final victory would surely guarantee. He wants revenge for the scar Connor’s mentor gave him across the length of his neck, a constant reminder of his near defeat. Each man cuts a swathe through the other Immortals as they march towards a final confrontation in New York City and the prize of The Quickening!

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon The Kurgan’s bulldozer-style plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

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“Sh!t happens, wocka wocka!”

The panel of peril take a chunk a meat from the salt barrel, a tot of rum from the rum barrel, and a film from the DVD barrel. That film is Muppet Treasure Island (Brian Henson, 1996), and we settle in to watch with this week’s special guest Nemonie Craven!

Jim Hawkins (Kevin Bishop) has in his possession a certain map. That map leads to a certain island. A treasure island, in fact. Flanked by Gonzo (Dave Goelz) and Rizzo (Steve Whitmere) they embark on the good ship Hispaniola to find this mysterious isle. Captained by the ‘fiery’ Kermit the Frog (also Steve Whitmere), will the ship sail true to treasure, or is there villainy afoot?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-37gsH0ideE

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Also aboard is Long John Silver (Tim Curry) who befriends young Jim in order to get his mucky mits on the precious map. Will the youngster and his felt friends stay one step ahead of the one-legged ne’er-do-well, or will Jim and the gang be cast into the briny for their troubles?

What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And what book does Nemonie think would benefit from the Muppet treatment?

A taster of Grand Theft Hamlet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5d9wdw-usk

A link for Marlow’s Landing: Marlow's Landing: A John Murray Original (JM Originals): Amazon.co.uk: Vieira, Toby: 9781473633179: Books

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“He's a digital Deliveroo driver”

The Panel of Peril are well used to jacking a load of information into the old grey matter. Therefore, this week’s task shall pose them no problem – yes, it’s Johnny Mnemonic (Robert Longo, 1995).

The year 2021: the NAS epidemic sweeps the world, and our Johnny (Keanu Reeves) is a sought-after data courier, smuggling illicit information across borders and shielding it against the shady corporations who seek to abuse it. But when he overloads his memory capacity he faces a race against time to extract the info and escape the Yakuza, headed by the legendary Takeshi Kitano, and a blasphemous hitman named Preacher (Dolph Lundgren). What secrets is Johnny storing to send such fire power after him?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFJY_BZ55sI

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The cure for deadly NAS is buried in Johnny’s noodle, and the corpos want to keep the population under their thumb – as per our own world. Fortunately, Johnny has powerful allies in Jane (Dina Meyer), J-Bone (Ice-T), and a tricked-out dolphin with all the latest gadgets. Wow! Will they release the cure and change the world, or will Johnny lose his head?

Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

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“It’s a range war – you’re kicking that chimp to death”

The panel of peril have just missed their bus and are stranded in the middle of a lonely, windy mountain range. Fortunately, there’s a creepy abandoned house nearby which they settle into to watch this week’s film Phenomena (Dario Argento, 1985).

Jennifer (Jennifer Connelly) is an American girl currently taking residence at an all-girls school in Switzerland. Not only that, but she has a psychic connection with the insect world, and moreover loves the little buggers. Sadly, there is a lunatic murderer around the grounds of the school, picking off girls and women seemingly at random. Help is at hand though in the form of wheelchair bound forensic bug expert Professor John (Donald Pleasance) and his chimpanzee nurse Inga (Tanga).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upUJetCHYFc

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

The murderer(s) turn out to be none other than school ma’am Frau Bruckner (Daria Nicolodi) along with her gerbil-faced, freak of a son who has many a crazy thought, I can tell you. Once they manage to capture our young heroine, who or what can possibly save her? The INSECTS?!!! The CHIMPANZEE!!?!! Time/watching the film will tell…

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Bruckner’s loopy machinations? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

“You’re like a podcasting Nostradamus”

The panel of peril are absolutely battering each other – limbs, teeth and shoes are flying hither and thither. They stop and think ‘actually this is awfully silly of us, let’s watch a film instead.’ And they do; this week’s treat The Night Comes For Us (Timo Tjahjanto, 2018).

Ito (Joe Taslim) is a member of the elite Six Seas group who look after smuggling routes across Asia for the Triad. But when a sudden attack of conscience sees him turn on his brethren to save a young girl named Reina (Asha Kenyeri Bermudez) he finds himself on the run from the Six Seas at the command of Chien Wu (Sunny Pang) and his handpicked replacement Arian (Iko Uwais).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfSisHrUTLM

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Ito believes that the safety of Reina will lend his life a meaning that it has lacked until this point, consisting mainly of wiping out villages full of civilians and wotnot. Awe-inspiringly violent and with some tremendous fight choreography for the leads, TNCFU is a must-see entry into the recent wave of Indonesian action thrillers.

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the Six Seas’ quest for revenge? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

“I know you think of yourself as a Mark Wahlberg-type character”

The panel of peril wipe the unsightly chunk of banana off the side of their mouth and slip into something more comfortable to watch this week’s film The Naked Gun (David Zucker, 1988).

Police Squad’s finest, Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), is tasked with investigating an attack on Det. Nordberg (OJ Simpson) just as the city is expecting a huge visit from Queen Elizabeth II (Jeannette Charles). Questioning local property magnate Vincent Ludwig (Ricardo Montalban) leads Drebin down a path that sees both events intertwine and begin a relationship with his assistant, the delightful Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley).

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S476PqNJkPM

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

Jane digs up some startling info on her boss. Not only is he trafficking illegal goods through the city docks, but he has cut a sweet deal to have the Queen assassinated. His method? Mind control. His hitman? A baseball player, during a game that her Maj will be in attendance for! Can our incredible investigator find which player has their sights set on Queenie, or will Ludwig succeed and become slightly richer than he is already is?

Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Ludwig’s regicidal plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?

Here’s that bit from Police Squad that Ben mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8PZFQz-qmo

And Gaz and Craig's appearance on the Fandomentals podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Mno0arNicnZmgVGaMLz8c?si=fXd6t0bTRTOSVWJh0LY28Q 

“Where are The Beverly Hillbillies during this?”

The panel of peril just about make it home, despite the banana up their tailpipe (fnar, fnar), in their battered old automobile. Just in time to check out this week’s film Beverly Hills Cop (Martin Brest, 1984).

Detroit cop Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) is a streetwise, proverbial good cop who knows how to collar a perp. Unfortunately, his friend Mikey falls foul of Beverly Hills bad sod Victor Maitland (Steven Berkoff) and tastes hot lead at the hands of scary henchman Zack (Jonathan Banks). Looks like a trip to sunny B Hills is on the itinerary for Axel F!

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc3sPICXZLs

********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********

At first falling foul of Detective Rosewood (Judge Reinhold) and Sergeant Taggart (John Ashton), Axel slowly makes inroads to finding out what Victor’s beef with Mikey was. Cocaine and bearer bonds are being smuggled through his high-class art dealership, more than enough to nail his British bottom to the wall. Can Axel convince the Beverly Hills PD to help him do so, though?

Did this week’s film fill the panel with nostalgic cheer? Could they find a way to improve Victor’s money-grubbing plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?

“You can only have one muppet in it – that’s a dealbreaker”

The panel of peril put away their copy of Gun Owners Weekly, clean up, and settle down in the soft neon light of their oversized crucifix to watch this week’s film Se7en (David Fincher, 1995).

Detectives Somerset (Morgan Freeman) and Mills (Brad Pitt) are the original chalk and cheese: one is a jaded, cynical veteran, the other a cocky, optimistic newcomer to the nameless city they operate in. But when a deranged person themes a series of murders around the seven deadly sins, can Mills and Somerset come together to crack the case and both become cheese (or chalk, I suppose)?

Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znmZoVkCjpI

********PLOT 5POILER AL3RT********

Shockingly handing himself in to the police and revealing himself to be John Doe (Kevin Spacey), the killer’s true purpose will only revealed during an explosive conclusion that pushes the detectives to the very edge of their sanity.

What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon John Doe’s criminally insane scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?

A short comic by Craig and Gaz wherein John Cena plays Brad PItt's role in Se7en: https://gorillapress123.wordpress.com/2016/05/08/gorilla-press-presents-one-shot-se7en-starring-john-cena/ss.com)