Eternal Marriage Mindset: Living Today for the Streets of Gold

We get so caught up in the now—our needs, our feelings, our expectations—that we forget: this isn't forever.

And when it comes to your marriage, your mindset matters more than you know. What if the goal isn't just earthly happiness… but eternal impact?

Let's shift our gaze from the temporary to the eternal—from trying to fix our spouse to faithfully loving them like Jesus.

Because your marriage assignment? It impacts eternity.

A Marriage Mindset That Reaches for Heaven

If marriage is your god, you'll do it your way.

You'll chase validation, push for change, demand your rights, and stew in resentment when your spouse doesn't meet your expectations.

But if God is your God, and marriage is your assignment, you'll do it His way.

You'll put your spouse before your ministry, before your work, before the kids. You'll think about loving them the way they receive love. You care about peace, patience, kindness, and self-control in your marriage. You value reconciliation and you stop praying, "God, fix my spouse so I feel better," and start praying, "God, draw them closer to You."

It's a radical shift in your marriage mindset. And it changes everything.

Eternal Marriage Mindset: Your Assignment Is Bigger Than You Think

Think about this: your spouse isn't just your husband or wife. They're your brother or sister in Christ.

One day, they will stand before Jesus just like you will. What if your daily choices helped them be more ready for that moment?

That's the eternal marriage mindset. It's not about temporary comfort—it's about eternal glory. You're not just trying to survive your marriage. You're trying to love your spouse all the way to the streets of gold!

And, by God's grace, you'll be dancing there together one day.

You only get one marriage with this person.
One chance to love them well.
One life to serve them, selflessly.

And if that service brings them closer to Jesus? It's worth every ounce of sacrifice.

Streets of Gold and a Big Ol' Mansion Next Door

But all joking aside, imagining heaven should stir our hearts. Because eternity is real. And that means what you do in this short vapor of a life matters.

If you need help fixing your gaze upward, here's a powerful recommendation: Wild Near-Death Experiences: Proof of Heaven | John Burke | Ep:365 from the Blurry Creatures podcast.

John is a former pastor, engineer, and researcher who has explored over 1,000 verified near-death experiences—and the common themes are stunning. Even from those with no faith background, many report seeing a being of love, a city of light, a life review… all pointing to the reality of heaven. His ministry, Imagine Heaven, invites us to live today in light of eternity. And wow—is it motivating.

When we meditate on the realness of what's ahead, our marriage takes on deeper purpose. It becomes a divine assignment with eternal weight.

It's Not About Them, It's About You: Taking Ownership in Your Marriage

Here's the hard truth: You will stand before God alone.
You won't be able to say, "But my husband didn't…" or "But my wife never…"

This journey isn't about controlling your spouse—it's about surrendering your own heart.

If your marriage is struggling, start by asking:

• Am I doing this God's way?

• Am I praying for their character, not just my comfort?

• Am I serving them with an eternal mindset—or demanding love on my terms?

The shift starts in you.

Final Thoughts: Marriage Is Temporary. Your Influence Isn't.

Heaven is coming.

And when you get there—your mansion sparkling, the streets of gold beneath your feet—will your spouse be dancing beside you?

Will your love have drawn them closer to Jesus?
Will your sacrifices have sown eternal seeds?

Friend, your influence matters. Every word, every action, every reaction has a chance to draw them closer to Jesus.

So soften your heart. Adjust your mindset. And do marriage well—not for earthly gain, but for eternal glory.

We are rooting for you!

 

Blessings,

The Delight Your Marriage Team

 

PS - Want help living this out? We would love to walk alongside you. Start with a free Clarity Call and talk with someone who's been there, seen God work, and is ready to cheer you on.

PPS - Have you seen the impact of this work in your life and wish more people knew about it? We are launching our In-Person Training program globally in January 2026. For more information on bringing this program to your church (or small group or work or wherever you meet!), please email office@delightyourmarriage.com.

PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:
"The biggest area I have grown is in my relationship with the Lord.  I have a deeper walk and appreciate struggles as they point me to Jesus.  Our marriage has grown as well.  We are deeper in love and we are heading to our finish lines of life, united as a couple."

How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey's Story

Marriage is holy work.

Maybe you're reading this today because you're hoping your marriage will change. Maybe you're reading this because you've prayed, "Lord, please help my marriage," when really you mean "Lord, please help my spouse!"

I hope this blog and episode will make you feel both comforted and inspired — that you'll be reminded your marriage can change, not by grand gestures or perfect communication, but by small, faithful, daily habits of love.

This is what Harvey discovered as well. That it wasn't grand gestures or big sweeping shifts that changed his marriage, but small, daily, consistent habits that brought it God's love, peace, and patience into his marriage.

Changing Your Priorities: When Hard Work is Leading to Disconnect

Harvey and his wife have been married nearly 37 years. Together, they raised four kids and built a life on their dairy farm. For decades, he worked two full-time jobs—teaching high school by day and farming by night.

He says, "Every day was between 12 to 16 hours. My wife was incredibly supportive, but I just wasn't there emotionally."

Maybe you can relate. Life's responsibilities pile up, and before you know it, years have passed. You're functioning—but not really connecting.

Despite his faith and commitment, Harvey admits that emotional and spiritual intimacy were missing. He wanted closeness, but didn't know how to get there.

A Different Kind of Prayer—and a Different Kind of Growth

After retiring from teaching, Harvey finally had space to seek help. He'd been listening to our podcast for years and decided it was time to join Masculinity Reclaimed, our men's program.

The first surprise? It wasn't about changing his wife!

It was about learning to love her the way Christ loves the Church.

He started with one habit: daily time with God. Reading Scripture. Praying. Reflecting. And eventually, he began praying with his wife in the mornings—a completely new rhythm in their 36 years together.

That quiet time, over coffee and prayer, became a beautiful and cherished time for emotional connection.

The Turning Point: Accepting Your Wife as She Is

Halfway through the program, Harvey realized that for years, he had been looking at his wife through the lens of what she wasn't.

She wasn't this, she wasn't that...

But when he stopped trying to change her and started accepting her for who she is, the woman he fell in love with, the woman she had always been, rather than who he hoped she might someday become–everything began to shift.

That acceptance made her feel safe. Seen. Loved.

And when a woman feels safe, her heart opens. His wife began to blossom before his very eyes and the connection Harvey had longed for finally began to grow.

The Habits That Build a Marriage

Here's the truth: marriage is a system of habits.

Paul says, if you're married, you will have trouble. (1 Corinthians 7:28)
You'll have to think about how to please your spouse. (1 Corinthians 7:34)

Are you in the habit of thinking about your spouse?
Are you in the habit of considering them and putting them first?
Are you in the habit of encouraging, loving, praying, and serving them?

It's not always easy work — but it is good work.

Every word, every look, every morning prayer can help build connection.

That's why transformation doesn't happen overnight.
It happens in the daily choices.

Final Thoughts

Friends, you don't have to wait to start changing your marriage. Harvey shared with us, "I wish I had learned these things earlier in my marriage." We want that for you as well! 

You don't have to wait to retire or for your kids to be out of the house. You don't have to wait to be a certain age or have been married a certain number of years. You can start investing in your marriage now, today, to say that the next 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years of marriage were incredible.

That is what we want for you. And we know, that no matter where your marriage is at right now, it can change. Just ask Harvey.

We are rooting for you and we know that we serve a God who makes all things new– and that includes marriages.

 

God bless you!

 

With love,

The Delight Your Marriage Team

 

PS - If you're ready to take the next step and get into a community that knows what it's like and are doing the hard work themselves– we'd love to chat with you. Click here to schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Call Advisors and take the next step in healing your marriage.

PPS - Are you a fan of this work and wish more people knew about it? We are launching an In-Person Training program this January and we would love to come to your church, workplace, community group, or wherever you gather! For more information, visit our In-Person Training page.

PPPS - Here is what another recent grad had to say about our program:
"I've become more contented and patient and focused on [my wife's] needs and a better listener I think. She says our home has less tension since I've been doing the program. I take that as a win!"

499-Sinful v. Holy Fierce Intimacy

I was confused.

There I was a new bride, having saved myself for marriage…

only to find out that my new husband wanted me to do SINFUL things.

Where did he get all this "inspiration" anyway?

Oh, I knew: sinful places.

So, of course, I refused. And of course, it brought mutual anger (covering each of our hurt).

What's your story?

If it's even remotely like mine, I needed to change the lens in which I was viewing sex.

I wasn't viewing sex from a biblical standpoint.

I was viewing sex from a sexually perverted lens. (Even though I saved my sex for marriage, I certainly received messages from the world that perverted the purity and unashamedness that is meant to be in the bedroom.)

I was thinking about a sinful visual I had, at some point, encountered that I knew was wrong. Instead of recognizing the COMPLETELY different and HOLY context of my marriage, I decided the act was associated with my experience that was not God's will.

Maybe you've gone through something profoundly tragic, if so, my heart goes out to you. And now you're married and there are so many things that feel hard to move towards because of the past. There is hope. Hope for healing and even hope for desire.

Be washed by truth. That's my aim in this conversation. That you will realize that our God is a God of intimacy and freedom in your marriage.

When you wash your mind with the truth of His design within the marriage bed, may you slowly wade (or dive in) into the waters of marital intimacy and find out it's nice and warm (with your spouse 🙂 )

Biblical Sexual Boundaries: What God Says Clearly

God's Word is not silent on sexuality. We're called to flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18), honor marriage and keep the marriage bed pure (Hebrews 13:4), and rejoice in the wife (or husband) of our youth (Proverbs 5).

What does that mean practically? It means saying no to adultery, fornication, pornography, and lust outside of marriage. But it also means saying a big yes to intimacy within marriage.

God designed it. He delights in it. And He calls it holy.

Christian Sexual Freedom in Marriage

Here's the good news: within the covenant of marriage, you are FREE. Passion, tenderness, variety—when it's just the two of you, it's not dirty or off-limits.

Too often, we add rules God never wrote. We act like Pharisees in the bedroom, burdening ourselves with shame. But Scripture doesn't say you have to find every position or practice word-for-word in the Bible. It says to stay within God's boundaries.

That's it.

Inside those boundaries, freedom is His gift.

Masculine vs. Feminine Sexuality in God's Design

I often talk about a helpful framework: feminine sexuality tends to be calming, connective, tender—while masculine sexuality is passionate, fierce, and energetic.

Neither is wrong! In fact, both are needed! But here's the key: most wives won't feel safe to enjoy masculine passion until the feminine is deeply honored.

Gentle connection lays the foundation for fierce intimacy. When both are present, intimacy becomes the oneness God intended.

One Flesh Marriage Meaning

When Scripture says the two become one flesh (Matthew 19:5), it's not talking about shared bank accounts or chore charts. It's talking about the mystery and beauty of sexual union.

That oneness is not only for procreation—it's also for pleasure, connection, and spiritual unity.

You were designed to be "naked and unashamed." That's God's original intention for your marriage.

Repentance and Sexual Purity

Here's the challenge: what you consume shapes what you expect.

If your eyes are fixed on media that glamorizes lust, adultery, or pornography, your heart will follow. Jesus warned us—lust in the heart is adultery (Matthew 5:28).

But repentance is always available. God's kindness leads us to turn back (Romans 2:4). His grace washes us clean and empowers us to start again. Inside His boundaries, intimacy is safe, holy, and life-giving.

Healing and Hope for Your Marriage Bed

If intimacy feels impossible for you—whether because of past sin, abuse, shame, or just exhaustion—please don't give up.

You can heal.
You can rediscover joy.
You can learn how God wired you for intimacy, and how to give and receive love in your marriage bed.

I want you to know: fierce intimacy is possible, for men and women. And it is holy. Within God's design, it's not just permitted—it's celebrated.

Final Thoughts

Friend, don't let the enemy steal your freedom by pushing you into guilt—or into sin. God's Word draws the boundaries, and inside them, He invites you to DELIGHT.

We are rooting for you.

Blessings,

The Delight Your Marriage Team

PS - Ready to take the next step? Schedule a free call with one of our Clarity Advisors today. This free Clarity Call will give you insight into the health of your marriage and your best next step. Whatever is hindering you from taking your next step, you are not too far gone. Sign up here for your free Clarity Call!

PPS - Need a little extra coaching on this whole holy fierce intimacy thing? Well, the timing could not be better! Our very own Belah Rose is a keynote speaker for Date Your Spouse's 2025 Sex Seminar. All the nitty-gritty questions, all the understanding and support. Check out this link to register for this seminar and catch not only Belah's teaching, but other intimacy experts as well! 🔥 (Want to catch up on the Sex Seminars from previous years? You got it. Click here to register for access for this year's panel AND previous years!)

PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:
"Before DYM, there was a lot of tension and stress in our marriage and disconnect. My husband had affairs and these were replayed constantly in my head even though one of them occurred 25 years ago... After going through the program, the stress is gone... I told him I have forgiven him and intimacy is something I desire now and enjoy with my husband. We are both so much happier in our marriage! I have also started back on my spiritual journey with God, that I have been away from for many years."

"Why can't I be fulfilled by what I SHOULD be able to?"

-Higher-drive men, Higher-drive women

"Why can't I get aroused by what I SHOULD be able to?" 

-Lower-drive women, PI/ED men

 

I want to invite you to consider what brings you pleasure. 

I want you to consider what causes you to ENJOY life. 

At Delight Your Marriage we focus a lot of intimacy. (And this episode does too). 

God has designed sex to be a way to receive pleasure. 

But is it God's only way for you to receive pleasure in this amazing world?

Did Jesus receive pleasure in this world? (Even without sex?) 

 

For higher drive husbands/wives (or those in sexless marriages): You are a wo/man who doesn't receive the pleasure from sex that you crave.

Jesus was tempted in every way that we are, and yet he never sinned. (HOW???)

For lower-drive wives/porn-induced ED/ED men: When you go on a journey of resensitizing your pleasure to everything this amazing world has to offer, you also resensitize yourself to the amazing gift of intimacy your spouse's unique body that God gives you in marriage. 

Gaining pleasure in many more things in this life is incredibly important for you to fulfill God's call in the world. 

Too many leaders/pastors/preachers have secret (and sometimes horrific) sins because they have no pressure release from the HARD work of ministry. 

They do not have ANY pleasure activities except sex (at least that's what they think constitutes a holy life).

It's hard. 

Jesus knows it's hard to resist temptation.

But he had MANY ways of receiving pleasure that had nothing to do with sex

He had zero "sinful outside-of-marriage sex" and he had zero "holy inside-of-marriage sex".

I invite you to listen with a curious heart to how God might want to invite you to resensitize yourself to the pleasure in HIS good world (in and out of marital intimacy) so that you can do the will of the Father ...as Jesus did.

 

Blessings,

Belah

PS - We'd love to help you and your marriage be all that God wants it to be to ultimately support the life and call God wants you to have... go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for all the information of first steps!

PPS -Recent wife grad: "I wish I could really express just how many celebrations I've had through my weeks in this program. Both alone, and in my marriage."

Let's go! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Many of our wife listeners have lower drives than their husbands. (I hear you!) And that's just the way it is. Nothing to be done, just deal with it. 

 

Also, if they're like I have been, since she has a lower sex drive she just has to put up with the requirement of her to make love even though she's less than enthusiastic about it because she has to have sex and can't do the things she really wants to be doing. Or sometimes avoids it altogether. 

 

I have been there. And so has Sarah. 

 

She and I both have high drive husbands. 

 

And we both know that sex is supposed to be a beautiful gift and a joy for him but we just couldn't desire it even if we wanted to.  

 

I want to allow you to hear Sarah's heart because she knew something wasn't right. 

 

She loved her husband and they waited till marriage to engage sexually together, as is biblical, but her desire just wasn't there, and it was so disheartening. 

 

But, she rejected the idea that there was nothing she could do about it. Even when sexual assault was in her past, she hoped God could still redeem and heal her sexuality. 

 

I'm excited for you to hear her story and see how you might be blessed by the advice and encouragement.

 

Her first step was sharing her story with someone who gets it. That was the free Clarity Call she had with someone who had walked this road before and can share there is hope for change!

 

Love,

Belah

 

PS - Would you like help? We would love to help. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to have a compassionate and helpful conversation to evaluate if you're a good fit for our programs.

 

PPS - If you're a husband who wants his wife to do what Sarah did, the best thing you can do is work on yourself first.

 

From a guy who has been there, took the next steps, and did the work:

"Before taking the course I would have defined our struggle as not being on the same page sexually. I thought that her view of me, and the attitudes that she held, were hurting our marriage. She thought I was too demanding and moody when my expectations weren't met. I felt she prioritized work, kids, church, her phone, etc. above me. The vast majority of the intimacy we had was duty sex. 

My biggest challenge has been my lack of understanding. I didn't realize how much pain I was causing her, or how self focused I was. I was trying to get her to change and should have been working on me. I am skilled at justifying myself and passing blame on my own heart.

Understanding the concepts of Safe, Known, and Cherished was a big deal. Forgiveness and apologizing have been huge. The disciplines of faith statements, gratitude, prayer, and Bible reading make for a solid start to my day.

My wife has told me she feels safe. She has begun to trust that my change is not a passing fad. I have gained understanding in how to love her well. I look forward to being around her, and to pampering her and loving her well. This has overflowed into intimacy emotionally, spiritually, and physically."

In approaching the new year, I invite you to rewind your calendar and consider...your marital performance in 2023.

What if I asked your spouse what it was like being married to YOU this past year?

Yikes!

If my spouse chose to be fully open and honest I think I'd have plenty of... ehemmm... "growth-opportunities". :)

 

Seriously though... feel free to go back through your calendar and check out what your priorities were throughout the year.

Day by day. Week by week. Month by month.

What was it like being married to YOU?

 

If marriage is your first human assignment, was that reflected in...

How you spent your time?

How you spoke/listened to them?

How you spent your energy?

 

How you loved them the way he or she receives love?

 

Assume you're looking at your year through your spouse's eyes.

What were your challenges of the year?

What were the things you should celebrate?

 

Now that you have thought through that...

We all know marriages are under attack, so what are you doing about it in your own home? You want it strong to withstand the challenges.

& If you're a pastor or ministry leader, what are you doing about this for your flock or in your organization?

(Aside: We have some exciting resources for ministry leaders that we'll be sharing with you in upcoming communications -- make sure you're on our email list to get notifications.)

 

In this episode, I have some practical next steps and things to ponder as you're setting out into this fresh year.

 

Love & Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - We'd love to help heal your marriage in 2024 (as has happened many times before), feel free to take us up on our gift to you: Clarity Call. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

 

As we are soon gathering together with loved ones to celebrate the Savior's birth, I would love for you to remember what life is all about. 

When we meet Jesus face to face, what do we want to be true of us?

In today's episode, I walk you through a meditation I did with our men's graduate group a couple of months ago. 

It is really meant to give you a chance to consider eternity. What is Christmas really about? 

It's about Jesus. And are we living in light of His life, will and ultimate sacrifice. 

I invite you to listen in and gain more insight into what you want that day to be. Because we are Delight Your Marriage we focus a lot on marriage, but we will all stand before Jesus one day and this is good practice :)

 

Love, 

Belah

PS - Maybe you're considering launching into a healing season for your marriage in the New Year -- if so, sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - A recent lady graduate: 

"Years ago I prayed to God for a short life. I didn't want to break my marriage vow, but I didn't see how I could be happy with him and it was getting harder as the children became adults.

Death seemed to be the only acceptable answer. I was obviously very unhappy. 

Now I enjoy spending time with him, look forward to dates and vacations, and we laugh and work things out together. I believe we are a great team! It's a miracle that we enjoy and like each other again.

Physical intimacy is better than ever. He cares about me and I feel secure. When we come together physically, we feel closer and both of us look forward to it!

I miss him when he gets busy with work and would be devastated if something happened to him."

Maybe you're transformation is next. Learn more in a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

It's hard to discern (or even admit) if we are obsessed. 

So here's the definition: 

"an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind."

Is your marriage an obsession? 

Or is God's will an obsession? (And your marriage is an important part of God's will for you.)

I encourage you to consider what God's will is for you in this next season.

It's all about priorities. 

If God is your first priority then everything else falls underneath. 

He puts all of our lives into perspective. 

Marriage shouldn't put all of our lives in perspective. It must be God first, then we can rightly serve our spouse well.

I want to invite you to rightly obsess over God's will and put marriage in its proper place so that it's healed and somewhat on "autopilot" so you can get on with God's will for your life. 

Listen in to understand more about what this means for you.

(I have an exciting announcement included in our conversation today, I'd love for you to hear it!) 

Love, 
Belah

PS - If you're in a really hard place or even a really great place, I encourage you to get on a Clarity Call. 

Maybe (as a gent emailed me today) your marriage is a 10, but you feel you need to take this course because YOU need to become the man/woman your spouse needs, then we'd love to help. 

delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

A recent grad shared: (we try to never reuse testimonial quotes in multiple emails jfyi)

"I've grown a lot spiritually, I had thought that I had always been a pretty good Christian...but realized that I was very selective in when and how I followed God's word. I feel a lot closer to God, and now realize that I can't really do marriage well on my own and truly need Him. 

The program was great! It so aligned with what I needed...

If people seem stuck, don't hesitate to push...I know we should take that initiative ourselves but sometimes a spark or catalyst can help. 

I really believe in what you're doing...it's the best program out there… and think this program can really help a lot of people."

Learn more at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

After 33 years of marriage, they were disconnected. 

At that point, they were sleeping in separate bedrooms. 

Maybe you're at a spot where it's hard to have hope because it has been SO hard for SO long. 

Jacques is here to say, even when only you do the work, it can change. 

Glory to God. 

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Could your marriage be one of the next ones to transform? Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. You don't have to, but what if you do?

 

Quote from a client...

Before the program: "My biggest struggle coming into MR was openness with my wife about what I was thinking and feeling and fear of asking her about what was going on in her life. I had just come out of therapy for my addiction of lust and porn and trust was a big issue. I wanted her to know that she was the only one for me and I didn't know how to do that.

I knew our marriage could be so much more but didn't know how to make that happen. It was a constant weight on me that made my everyday life like walking around on eggshells."

 

After the program: "DYM has given me the confidence and tools to be able to handle difficult situations with my wife. It has given me such a better understanding of how my wife thinks and what is important to her. I have learned that I have to be the leader of the relationship. I love how the program was based on scripture in the bible. I learned how God wanted us to treat our wives and then how to do it. Surprisingly it has helped with my porn and lustful addiction. Now I respect women and my wife as they are all God's daughters. I am so excited for the next stage of my marriage."

 

You may wonder when God is going to show up in your life.   In your situation.    In your marriage.    You may believe in God but don't feel His love for you, or at least haven't for a long time.    Maybe you felt His love for you at first, and that is what brought you to give your life to Jesus, but slowly, things have really gotten stale.    Maybe like your marriage.    It was great at first. But slowly other loves entered the picture. Children. Careers. Commitments. Current events. Costs. Culture. Cars. Curtains. (Other things that also start with "C". :)   Ultimately, our job is to sacrifice for our priorities.    God.  Spouse. Kids. Everything else.   If you're not sacrificing for each (in that order), then it makes sense that you're not feeling the love from them.    I encourage you to listen with a curious heart attuned to what the Lord may be drawing you to.   Blessings, Belah   PS - If you'd like our help with your marriage, your first step is a Clarity Call (a free gift from us) delightyourmarriage.com/cc     Before the Delighted Wife Program:   "Problems with tension and unforgiveness, exhaustion from childcare, loss of connection and lack of wholehearted intimacy. Husband was extremely resentful of me. I've lost respect for him. Was close to divorce.

There wasn't peace at home, kids constantly saw us arguing, I didn't want to be at home, I was doing many things on my own with the kids because my husband didn't want to do things with me, I was craving for other male attention who valued me." 

After the Delighted Wife Program:           

"My heart has softened and I can now see the brokenness in my husband, that he was just a very wounded soul. He was trying to love me and wanted this marriage to work but he had no clue how to go about improving it and was instead making things worse. 

Wholehearted intimacy. Not arguing for a long time and the atmosphere has completely shifted, there is peace at home and he is a much happier and better father to the children...

Impacted everything, it turned everything around. My husband is now loving, patient, caring, and a very present and patient father."

 

Tomorrow is the day (in the US) we set aside to be grateful.

 

Or it's a day we set aside to get frustrated with family, binge eat, and watch football.

 

Just kidding.

 

I invite you to do Thanksgiving this year, Jesus way.

 

Let's allow peace, joy, and thanksgiving being the most important aspects of this holiday.

 

Everything else is after those.

 

Let's be intentional to not allow wounds of the past (even from yesterday) to rob our kids or extended family of the opportunity to see how Jesus followers love each other. Whether they deserve it or not.

 

I want to just encourage you to do a few things if your marriage is tense right now.

 

Take 100% ownership to turn it to thanksgiving. Here are some very basic and very practical steps.

 

Love,

Belah

 

 

PS - If you'd like our help to turn your marriage around, we're here for you. Your first step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Randy felt lonely, disconnected, and that his wife cared about everything and everyone else more than his wife.

He was a strong believer and prayed for change in his marriage.

He stumbled upon Delight Your Marriage through podcast searching and found something that seemed right. He and his wife really dug into the material. And it did start to make sense.

Sadly, they were again up at 3 am and both very frustrated and hurting. She decided to make the free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

And ultimately, they both chose to do the work together. 

As a natural skeptic and somewhat pessimistic he was concerned whether it was...

1- Going to work for them.

2- Whether it had a cult-like vibe. 

I think he was wise to consider this. But he assures you on this episode that it wasn't like that at all. 

Our goal is marriage transformed so they can continued doing the work of the Kingdom even better. 

Randy shares about how they are adoptive parents. Such important work requires a healthy marriage to love well. 

I'm so glad to see what God has done in these two and what He's continuing to do!

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Join a free Clarity Call with a Clarity Advisor like Randy did and see how we can help you specifically: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - The holidays are coming. I encourage you to consider who in your life needs Delight Your Marriage.

Maybe today is the day to tell them:

You say: "Have you heard of DYM?" 

They say: "No"

You say: "I'll send it to you". 

And then send them one or two and write: "Here are some that I got a lot out of". (That way it doesn't make them feel like you think there's something wrong with them.)

Who knows, maybe you just changed the trajectory of a family, forever. Just by sending them a podcast.

Dads,

When it comes to fatherhood, do you feel at times like you don't know what you're doing? 

At times, does the chaos and frustration of it all feel like you're left to solve a very difficult puzzle without directions?

Dr. Don is here to tell you, "Every dad CAN win".

He's been there.

His wife, the "Relationship Ninja", Suzanne wants you to know that you are handpicked by God for  this. 

For fatherhood. 

For your children.

You can do this.

 

Early on in his family life, Don felt like parenting was more like solving a Rubix cube with no instructions.

Over the years of raising a family of 7 kids and gaining insights from other experts, they've discovered family comes down to 2 words: 

a- relationships 

and 

b- culture 

Don says, if you build your family right on the inside, then you can tackle anything that happens on the outside.

They invite you to constantly ask the question: How can I connect to my child today? Words, time, & creating experiences and memories are all examples of how to connect.

I specifically love when Suzanne says as parents, our goal is to take our kids from being parent-controlled to self-controlled.

She also shares how wives can encourage their husbands in the midst. 

 

Seriously, gents, you can win at fatherhood. Even if you didn't have a role model. And even if--like the Rangers (TX MLB not NY NHL :)--maybe your track record hasn't been great... it is possible to still win! 

Seriously though...

You can be a good father.

It really is not too late.

Don is opening an opportunity for you in the new year for fathers to learn how to do just that for free. Just email him dads@crazycoolfamily.com to find out more. 

Their many resources, podcasts, and courses can be found at crazycoolfamily.com 

I hope this message will encourage you to keep fighting to win!

 

Love, 
Belah

PS - We'd love to help you with your marriage. Maybe that has felt like it is the thing holding you back from working on your fatherhood.

We'd love to get you to the other side and really enjoy peace and joy in your marriage, thus empowering your kids! delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call to discover your first step in marriage healing. 

 

Recent graduate wrote: 

Before men's program... "this inability caused me to be concerned about our future and caused me to feel like I was alone... There were so many needs and desires that would go unmet, that I struggled to be holy and joyful.

After men's program... "Too many [celebrations] to recount here! In summary, she has made the most intimate bids for connection with me over the last weeks than I can remember! These have been both sexual and non-sexual.

My biggest celebration could be that I feel loved and desired by my wife again, and that is so fun and empowering for life on a mission!"

Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc so we can help you have that story too!

Creating Better Habits for a Better Marriage: Michael's Story

You love your wife. You love your family. And you'd do anything for them.

But if you're honest… things don't feel quite the same as they used to.

Maybe you're exhausted from work, the baby, or the endless list of responsibilities. Maybe your evenings with your wife now look more like two roommates collapsed on the couch—silent, tired, and just hoping tomorrow will be better.

That's exactly where Michael found himself.

A good man. A loving husband. A dad who adored his toddler son. And yet—he noticed the spark in his marriage was fading.

Instead of ignoring it, he made a decision that changed everything.

And maybe that's where you are today.

Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations for Lasting Change

Michael wasn't looking for fluff. He wasn't looking for self-help tricks that sound nice but fall flat.

He wanted something biblical. Something that honored God's design for intimacy. Something practical enough to implement while juggling fatherhood and career.

That's when he discovered Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations.

From the very beginning, he noticed it wasn't complicated. Daily gratitude. Encouraging words. Apologies when needed. Intentional listening.

Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always. But transformational? Absolutely.

Michael said it "sparked something new." He began noticing his wife respond in ways she hadn't before. Even more surprising—she started picking up the same habits he was practicing, without ever being taught them directly.

One morning, while out on a walk, she said, "I forgot to write my gratitudes today."

Michael was stunned. Gratitudes were part of his new daily rhythm—something the program had challenged him to do. He hadn't even invited her into it. But she saw his consistency, and she was inspired to follow.

That's the power of godly leadership.

Christian Marriage Intimacy That Transforms Daily Life

Michael realized intimacy was about more than the physical.

Yes, God designed sex as a beautiful, holy gift—but intimacy starts long before the bedroom.

When a wife feels safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished, her heart opens. That's the essence of Christian marriage intimacy: a holistic connection that touches body, soul, and spirit.

For Michael, it meant slowing down. Looking his wife in the eye. Really listening when she spoke—not just nodding while his mind wandered. Offering compliments, even when it felt small. Expressing love, even in the middle of an ordinary day.

And the results?

Their evenings shifted. Instead of collapsing into silence, they began talking again. Laughing again. Rebuilding the kind of bond that made marriage joyful instead of draining.

Maybe that's what's missing in your marriage. Maybe you're craving closeness but don't know where to start. Michael would tell you—start small. Gratitude. Encouragement. Listening.

And watch how God multiplies it.

Christian Husband Leadership That Inspires Your Wife

Here's the truth: someone has to go first.

Too many men wait, hoping their wives will change before they do. But waiting is not leadership.

Michael discovered that a Christian husband's leadership is about modeling the very change you want to see.

• Choosing gratitude when negativity feels easier.

• Speaking life instead of criticism.

• Creating joy where tension used to rule.

• Surrendering pride in order to serve.

And his wife responded. Not because he pressured her. Not because he demanded it. But because love that reflects Christ is contagious.

Friend, this is the hard but freeing truth: leadership begins with you.

Your wife may or may not immediately change. But your consistent obedience to Christ's call—to love your wife as He loved the church—will never return void.

Marriage Transformation Stories That Stir Hope

When Michael first joined the program, he rated his marriage a 7 or 8 out of 10. Good. Steady. But he knew something was missing.

After stepping into these practices, his wife said something that stopped him in his tracks: "This has been transformational for our marriage."

That's not just improvement. That's restoration.

And Michael's story isn't unique. Week after week, we hear marriage transformation stories from men all over the world—young dads, empty-nesters, husbands married for two years or fifty.

The common thread? They chose to lead with love. To step into accountability. To embrace God's way, not culture's distortions.

And God met them there.

If He can do it for Michael, He can do it for you.

Final Thoughts

Let me ask you directly: where is your marriage today?

Maybe it feels "good but not great." Maybe the spark is gone, and you're worried what things will look like in five or ten years. Maybe you're exhausted from parenting and silently grieving the closeness you once had.

Friend, you don't have to settle.

Michael didn't.

And the best part? His wife followed his lead without him ever asking her to.

That's what happens when a man chooses to be the first one to change.

Michael made a decision. He chose to take a step forward. And it began with one simple action: a conversation.

That's where you can begin, too.

 

With love,

 

The Delight Your Marriage Team

 

PS - Are you ready to take the next step in improving your marriage? We are here for you! Schedule a free Clarity Call and take the first step to transforming your marriage.

PPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate: 
"Our marriage was doomed to fail if we continued with the same unhealthy patterns that we had been using for years. This was a very hard process of self evaluation. My relationship with God was put at the top of my list for each day and I was able to start to feel connected to Him again and have loved being in the word. I also realized that I was taking myself and life way too seriously and have had to force myself to be more playful which has helped to keep the mood in our relationship more fun and light."

When I was first with my (now) husband he showed me my value. 

Value I didn't know I had.

Worth I didn't know I was.

He taught me how precious my heart was.

He taught me how precious my body was.

God loved me through my husband.

God healed me through my husband.

I remember on our first date I told him that I had never felt safer in my whole life.

I felt completely respected and honored by this man.

I felt like he would protect me from anything and everything (even from himself).

Unassuming.

Tender.

Kind.



And when I read the scriptures, I see that is what Jesus is to women.

He is kind.

He is loving.

He doesn't speak to them harshly.

He is moved by compassion when they cry.



Seriously. Take a minute and think.

Is there ever a time that Jesus is harsh to women?

Even when he tenderly corrects Martha, it is in protecting Mary (a woman who had the gall to value herself enough to learn from the great Rabbi).

I invite you to explore with me how Jesus treated women.

Men if you have never learned from Jesus in this way, I think this will help you.

It will help you see your wife as the daughter of the king.

As a precious soul that you are tasked to heal and care for. And God can heal her through you... through your genuine safety.

 

Book referenced:

Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer

 

Blessings,

Belah 

PS - If you want our help, feel free to go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for more info.


PPS - Recent husband grad: 

BEFORE: 
"Constantly getting rejected was demoralizing and took a mental toll on me for sure.

Not being listened to and the lack of respect was basically a punch in the gut pretty much daily, causing depression and definitely other issues within the house as well with the kids also."


AFTER: 
"I wanted to think that I was doing all the right things and that it was her problems that were causing all of the issues between, but I was definitely wrong.

Through this program, I have realized that I definitely was living up to my "man of the house" role.

Mainly I was not providing her safety.

My actions, or lack of actions depending on the situation, were not getting my wife into a safe place where she would be in the mindset to share herself with me physically, mentally, or spiritually.

By doing this in turn it has proved to be beneficial with what I feel is much more respect from her, especially around the kids, as well as more frequent episodes of lovemaking."

Solomon. The wisest man in the whole world. Ever. Fell to sex. 

David. The man after God's own heart. Fell to sex.

Samson. The real-life superhero. Fell to sex.

Falling to sex is something men have done for a long time...

AND each was severely punished.


1 Cor 10:8
We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died... 
These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us...

12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!

13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted d beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

For your own sake (much less for the sake of everyone who knows you follow Jesus) get humble.

Humble yourself while the monster is one inch tall. Confess the internet search, the extended browsing, the questionable conversation, the __________________________.... 

Get humble at the earliest warning level.

Run into the light. Share it exactly with your brother or sister (not co-ed).​​​​

​​You have an opportunity to get healed. 

Put crazy strong boundaries in place. ​

Every man in our community... be open with your sin to another man.

Every woman in our community... be open with your sin to another woman.

Let's not end up with their consequences...

Humble yourself.

Be specific.

Own your sin.

Confess it to another person.

Fully repent.

Allow them to pray for you.

Submit yourself to their accountability and humble yourself over and over again​...​​​

...that you may be healed.

Listen in to today's extra short (since it's a Monday) podcast.

Belah

 

PS - If you want our help, feel free to go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for more info.

Today's story is by a wonderful man who needed help to receive the intimacy he was really hoping for. 

 

As a person who believed in Jesus and was serious about the Word of God, the lack of intimacy in his marriage was not something he was willing to find a sinful outlet for.

Instead, he had heard of Delight Your Marriage and began listening to the podcast. After listening for several years, he decided to sign up for the men's program when it began to be offered. 

The first time he went through the 3-month program, he learned, implemented, and saw results! 

He saw some great changes in his marriage.

But after a year, he realized it wasn't enough. 

So, he did it again... 

 

I invite you to hear what his changes have been this time around, after he had a foundation to build from and really finetune his shifts. He's got some exciting things to share as a result of his second round of the program…an even greater progression of growth in his marriage.

If you've done "all the things" but haven't seen your marriage change, I invite you to listen to David's story... 

 

God is still changing hearts and lives, marriages, and families. 

 

God bless you, 

Belah 

 

PS - Could your marriage change? What do you have to lose…and potentially gain? We invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. 

 

Graduate quote: 

Before the program: "Coming in, I knew my wife felt that I was unsafe for her, and that she felt alone and unknown by me. On my end, I felt deeply regretful of marrying her, angry with her, and hopeless to ever have a joyful marriage. I felt totally unattracted to her and trapped.

I became very depressed as a result of our unhappy marriage feeling like a life sentence that couldn't improve. The inability I felt to do anything positive in my marriage made me hesitant and unconfident in my vocation as a minister. I felt like I had zero positive influence with my own wife, so how could I have any influence with others that I hoped to point to Christ or build a trusting relationship with. Even more so, my role as a dad and as a friend to others was constricted by how small and worthless I felt."

 

After the program:  "I've seen progress in almost every area. I have grown in my own perspective on my wife. This has stunned me, and given me more hope than I've ever felt. The faith-statements, the forgiveness exercises, and the daily gratitudes have made an enormous change inside me. The ways my wife saw me as unsafe and unsatisfied all seemed from my heart of anger and ungratefulness toward her. Forgiveness toward her has softened my heart, and the daily gratitude has accumulated to change my attitude toward her, even in a daily way. I sincerely have a delight toward her that I've not felt in over a decade."

You may be one who is really good about getting yourself filled up in order to be your best for your spouse.

But for the rest of us, this episode is for you. 

I think we know that we cannot give what we do not have.

But that doesn't stop us from trying (and failing often...Oh, how many times I have been there!)

Then my stressed feelings take over and I am not kind or loving to my highest priority human, ehemm, my spouse.

I want to encourage you that God is one who can fill your cup. But you have to discipline yourself and make room for him to renew and refresh you. 

Ultimately, your spouse cannot satisfy. God does. 

We want to get filled up with him and from that overflow, we bring our best to serving our spouse. 

Love, 

Belah

PS - How can we help you?

From some people who graduated recently (not married to each other).

Women's program: 

Before:  There wasn't peace at home, kids constantly see us arguing, I didn't want to be at home...My husband was extremely resentful of me. I've lost respect for him. Was close to divorce.

After: Impacted everything, it turned everything around. My husband is now loving, patient, caring, and a very present and patient father.

Husband's program:

Before: There were many big marital struggles. Coming in, I knew my wife felt that I was unsafe for her, and that she felt alone and unknown by me. On my end, I felt deeply regretful of marrying her, angry with her, and hopeless to ever have a joyful marriage. I felt totally unattracted to her and trapped.

After: I've seen progress in almost every area. I have grown in my own perspective on my wife. This has stunned me, and given me more hope than I've ever felt. I sincerely have a delight toward her that I've not felt in over a decade.

Wow, I can't begin to think of improving it. It's amazing.

 

PPS - If you're ready for these changes. Who knows, maybe this'll be you in 3 months?

delightyourmarriage.com/cc to learn more.

He's been a Christian for many years, yet couldn't seem to "crack" how people transform. He knew he wasn't where God would want him to be, but couldn't figure out how to get there. 

He had followed Delight Your Marriage for years and applied what he picked up, but it didn't seem to move the needle.

Finally, he decided it was time and joined. 

He started seeing changes in himself and changes in his walk with God. And he was thrilled to discover a community of men that was, in his words, "extraordinary."

He learned to be a man of God in a real sense alongside other men growing, as well.

He finally felt unstuck. I hope this is encouraging and inspiring to you as well.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you're a wife or a husband, I encourage you to sign up for a Clarity Call to see how you, too, can witness this kind of transformation in yourself and in your marriage. 

delightyourmarriage.com/cc

From a wife graduate who also felt stuck:

"Coming into the program, I felt stuck. My marriage was 1 year into recovery from my husband's infidelity, and though we had been counseling and working on moving forward, I felt like we hadn't made much progress.

I had a major lack of joy and felt depleted emotionally and physically. I was unable to be the mom I wanted to be, and certainly wasn't able to love my husband well (though I wanted to!)"

After the program: "The trajectory of my life has changed in a dramatic way. I feel more sure of the direction my life is heading. I am no longer allowing emotion or fear to control the direction of my life. I want my GPS to be the Bible, and Jesus as the driver. I am sure that God is trustworthy and capable and I am growing in allowing him space to work. I have grown in my character, my life goals are more aligned with God's, and I believe I am being obedient to God's will in my marriage."

My son, age 10, is going to talk to you today.

And I invite you to ​​imagine this is your son. 

What kind of father do you want him to see?

A leader? A man of character? A man of strength and integrity?

So many wives want that for their sons, but they are unwilling to do what's necessary to make space for that to be a reality.

These wives (and sadly I've been in that place way too many times) give into fear. Fear that he won't do what "needs to be done" in her eyes. ​​​​​​​​

So, instead of letting him lead, she takes charge and controls, criticizes, and even "mothers her husband" (yuck!)...

Then... she expects him to stand up and lead?

That wouldn't be sensical. So your husband either shuts down and reverts to apathy or he may get angry and explode.
​​​​
And ultimately, how does that impact the kids?

​​

On our episode, my son is actually going to be painfully honest about how we live this out (and there are some less-than-flattering revelations un/fortunately).


The point is...​​
Your kids need their father to take his place as the leader of the home.

​​He was designed for this.

​My son points out,​ that it's a burden.

And taking responsibility for the home is a scary thing.
​

How do you "get" your husband to lead?

​​There's a way to get there and it's not by controlling... it's about giving up the control. (I'll define what that means).


I hope wives listen to my son with fresh ears from the perspective of a little boy who needs a dad to look up to.

​​As it may change your heart in a way that my words couldn't.

(Also, my son sings a song to his papa at the end... I hope it makes you smile. Song: Saved My Life by Andy Grammer and R3HAB)
  Love,
Belah

PS - If you're a wife who is scared to give up control like we are encouraging, I was there!

Your next step is a Clarity Call here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

A wife graduated today and wrote:

"The trajectory of my life has changed in a dramatic way. I feel more sure of the direction my life is heading.

I am no longer allowing emotion or fear to control the direction of my life. I want my GPS to be the Bible, and Jesus as the driver.

I am sure that God is trustworthy and capable and I am growing in allowing him space to work.

I have grown in my character, my life goals are more aligned with God's, and I believe I am being obedient to God's will in my marriage."

God can totally transform your heart and your marriage, we get to walk wives by the hand into that reality many times over.

Find out more and how we can help you on a free Clarity Call.

They saved themselves for marriage. (Yay!)

But there were other hurdles encountered as a result of a lack of insight around intimacy and God's wonderful design.

Hear how Lindsay got to the other side. Was it just flipping a switch and suddenly there's freedom? No.

It was a process.

It was a journey, and it took support and guidance.

I look forward to you hearing from someone who got there, and you can, too. 

For men: her husband went first. 

For women: she had to commit and realize it was important enough for her to get free. 

Love, 

Belah 

PS - Like Lindsay, if you want freedom in your intimacy but have hang-ups from purity culture, you can get on a free Clarity Call to be listened to and asked questions. Maybe our program is the right fit for you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

If you're a husband who sees his wife "holding back" because of this, Lindsay's husband took the men's program first, so I also encourage you to get on a Clarity Call. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Program Graduate Quote: 

Before the program: "We had recurring arguments surrounding intimacy. I felt like [my husband's] love was conditional and he felt like I neglected his needs.

It was so discouraging. [My husband] felt lonely and I felt like a failure. The cycle would repeat every couple months, leaving both of us discouraged and hopeless that things could ever change… especially after 23 years of marriage. It impacted every relationship in our life, including our kids, work, in ministry, etc."

Same graduate after the program: "I am amazed at the peace and unity in our marriage. I no longer feel like sex is an obligation but something that I am really learning to enjoy! It's better than it has ever been. I have a hard time taking credit for it because [my husband] is killing it at implementing the principles from his 'Masculinity Reclaimed' program. I have never felt more known, safe or wholeheartedly cherished. It is easy to respond to a man who loves me like this. It is easy to be attracted to and vulnerable with a man who loves me like Jesus loves his church.

I have really grown in vulnerability, boldness and freedom in my sexuality, including discovering how sex can be so enjoyable for me.  And turns out, [my husband] LOVES when I enjoy it!  I am overcoming my physical insecurities and realizing that my body is a gift for my husband.  What a beautiful design and privilege that I can please, comfort and bless my husband in intimacy.  I want to continue being courageous to experience all God has for our marriage.

I see how my upbringing and the influence of culture have warped how I think and hindered me from experiencing marriage like God designed. I see how I desperately need God to renew my mind to see myself, marriage and sex the way He does.

This is the best marriage material we have ever come across. The Lord is using you in huge ways!"

DYM Listeners -- Thank you SO much for all your help with this Pre-Engaged Workbook launch.    And God got us on the charts... #1 New Release in Christian Dating & Relationships!!! Thanking God for His favor!! (Being on the charts means it will be seen by many more people).   And a special thank you to Maria, Delighted Wife Facilitator, who was our amazing book editor! She edited and gave feedback and edited again -- Thank you!   May God use this in a mighty way in the lives of those who read it.   "It truly is a life changing resource if couples will apply themselves to the principles."   Blessings, Belah   PS - If you haven't yet purchased / reviewed the Pre-Engaged workbook, would love you to add your 5-star review to help spread this work as far as possible. Thank you!     

We are LOVING the excitement about the Pre-Engaged Workbook, which will be released soon.

 

(It is supposed to go live today, but isn't available yet... there is a hold-up in the review process. We will let you know once it goes live!)

 

---

 

What I think happens a lot in marriages is a dynamic of competition. 

 

They both want to impress their spouse, and both of them are clawing on top of each other trying to get the other one to notice them and admire them. 

 

They're trying to get their spouse to see that they're doing a good job.

 

At the very same moment, the other spouse is trying to get them to see that they're doing a good job and trying to impress them.

 

So each is trying to get their security and their approval and their sense of doing a good job from their spouse. And so this competition takes hold. 

 

Instead of enjoying each other and the gift that they are---in the strengths and the differences---they are competing and they can't see past their own hurt and lack of encouragement from their spouse. 

 

So, what I highly recommend is that you consider if this dynamic is happening in your home.

 

Are you trying to get compliments and admiration and encouragement from your spouse but getting hurt over and over and over again?

 

My recommendation is that you listen to this episode to understand how to actually receive the affirmation, the approval, and the encouragement you crave. 

 

The good news is you could actually have both security and affirmation… and change the dynamic from competition to love and generous compliments.

 

You'll find out how if you listen to today's episode.

 

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Help could be a click away…you're invited to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if you're a good fit for our programs.

What do graduates say about the results of the program?

 

"Before I took the program, I thought my wife and I were getting on ok, but as it turned out this was far from the case. It soon became clear that my wife had been feeling very lonely and isolated for years, and this had been showing in her behaviour, which though pleasant, was somewhat aloof and detached emotionally."

 

"Things moved exponentially, very quickly, though not without struggle and some reverses.. She did not recognise this "new husband" as she put it! …Completely unintentionally I had made my wife feel ignored, not attended to, and taken for granted… Communication was generally businesslike rather than affectionate. …As the program has gone on, huge strides have been made in our marriage. We now spend quality time together most meal times, we've started going out on dates again, we are much more playful than before and we enjoy being with each other. Most importantly, my wife has relaxed, she's begun to trust me, and her true bubbly self is coming out into the open. And it's a delight to see. It almost feels like it used to when we were first dating. Sex has even taken on a completely new appearance."

I just have to apologize ahead of time because this headline is way too sensational. I can hear you saying, "It's frankly not realistic."

I get it. 

But, hear me out. (Or, hear him out...? :)

 

So, Hunter had twin 4-year-old girls.

His wife was fed up with asking him to change. To pull his fair share. To be proactive in the family responsibilities. 

She said she was done. They had talked about divorce in the past, but there was finality this time. 

He could tell she was serious. And she was.

This is when a lot of people would feel helpless and decide they're going to give up and end the marriage since their spouse wants a divorce. 

Not Hunter.

He had done a Clarity Call a year earlier and wasn't ready to take that step then. But knew, at this point, he had to dramatically change to save his marriage.

He said, "At the beginning of the program, I had trouble getting just a few sentences out before I would bust out in tears..."

Week in and week out Hunter plugged along. 

But because of the amazing men in our program, he didn't feel he was doing it by himself. 

They were texting him, praying for him, encouraging him each time it got hard. 

When he had a bad week and felt absolutely worthless and hopeless, they'd be there to brush him off and remind him WHY he was doing this. They'd help him get encouraged and refocused.

Hunter did one scary change after another, one step forward and one step back, one awkward skill practiced after another until it became normal, natural, and just who he is... 

And his wife started to respond. 

She started to end the snarky, mean comments. 

And she started even being receptive to his touch.

Ever so slowly, she started to trust that he is indeed a new man.

And he was indeed able to heal his marriage even though she didn't do the program.

Now he feels closer to God and he can see that she is closer to God, as well.

Now they are in love again… like when they were first married.

Now their 4-year-old girls are 5, and they are in a family with parents that are unified and loving.

This is a big deal and worth a giant celebration! And, a sensational headline (because it's true). 

Love, 

Belah

 

PS - If you need a transformation like Hunter, please don't let hopelessness overtake you. Focus on WHY it's so important for you to save your marriage, and get help. 

We have resources to help you every step of the way (literally, it's step-by-step). You may be so flooded with fear and pain that you can't even think straight. It's okay, we've got a step-by-step process. It's proven, and it works. 

Wife or husband, we want to help you. Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call. 

 

Like Hunter, take the next courageous step. It's worth it.

Like Hunter, gain clarity on a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Like Hunter... it could save and transform your marriage, forever.

 

From a recent lady graduate: 

"Delight Your Marriage has brought a breath of fresh air to our marriage! It helped me to forgive myself and others for wrong that had been done in my life.

DYM [Delight Your Marriage] gave me new tools to use to revive my marriage and a renewed focus on God to guide and direct our marriage through the next phases of life!

I enjoyed every aspect of this program! From the first podcast I listened to, to the clarity call, accountability calls, modules, and coaching calls! It all has been a joy, challenge, and work that has helped me and my marriage now thrive!"

We invite you to learn more! delightyourmarriage.com/cc

(If you know someone who needs this... forward this episode to them! Maybe you'll save a family.)

497-Living a Life of No Regrets in Marriage and Faith [Re-Release]
(Previously Titled: Changing OURSELVES in Light of Eternity)

Hello, listeners! As we continue to work on our recording our very first in-person trainings, we hope you will enjoy some of the re-releases from the past few years of the Delight Your Marriage podcast (It has certainly been sweet to us to re-listen and share some of our favorites with you!)

For this week, we hope you will enjoy a little bit of Christmas in the summertime as we talk about living life in light of eternity. Christmas is certainly a wonderful time to remember who Jesus is and why he is worthy of our lives, but we think a balmy day in August is a good time to remember that also.

Enjoy this re-release and we look forward to sharing some other favorite episodes with you soon!

God bless!

Marriage as Your First Assignment Before God

When we think about standing before Jesus one day, many of us imagine wanting to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." But how often do we connect that vision with our marriages?

The truth is, God has entrusted you with a spouse—not by accident, not as an afterthought, but as a sacred assignment. Your husband or wife is your first ministry.

Loving God by Loving Your Spouse

Jesus told us the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength—and the second is like it: to love our neighbor as ourselves.

And who is your closest neighbor? Your spouse.

No one else can encourage your spouse like you can. No one else can pray for them, serve them, or provide safety and intimacy in the same way. Your marriage is one of the clearest ways to live out your love for God.

When you choose to love your husband or wife with gentleness, patience, and sacrificial love, you are actually loving Jesus.

Integrity, Intimacy, and Safety

Loving your spouse well isn't just about words—it's about integrity. It's about creating true safety by guarding your heart, your eyes, and your thoughts.

It's about saying no to distractions that cheapen your focus—whether that's pornography, busyness, or pouring your energy into hobbies instead of your home.

When you choose discipline, integrity, and faithfulness, your spouse experiences the safety God designed marriage to provide. And intimacy—emotional, spiritual, and physical—flows from that foundation.

A Life with No Regrets

This life is short. One day, you and I will stand before Jesus. What will we be able to say about how we loved?

Did we prioritize our marriages? Did we love our spouses as Christ asked us to? Did we make sacrifices to ensure our marriages reflected His heart?

The good news is—it's not too late. Today, you can choose to love your spouse as your first assignment before God. You can choose to realign your priorities and live with no regrets.

Your Invitation

Your marriage is not just about you and your spouse—it's about reflecting Jesus to the world. When you love your spouse well, you glorify God.

Take some time today to ask:

• What does it mean for me to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength?

• How can I show that love to my spouse in practical, tangible ways?

• What do I want to be true of me when I stand before Jesus?

Friend, don't waste the life God has entrusted to you. Start with the person He's placed right by your side. Your first neighbor.

You can do this.

God bless you,

The Delight Your Marriage Team

PS - If you are ready to join our Coaching Programs, we would love to chat with you! Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Call advisors and discover what your marriage needs to fully connected once again.

PPS - We are doing a pilot launch in churches this Fall! The Masculinity Reclaimed & Delighted Wife programs that you know and love are being adapted for in-person groups and we cannot wait to show them to you. If you'd like your church to be a part of our pilot program, please check out https://delightyourmarriage.com/church/

PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:
"We were both resentful of how we treated each other. My expectations were rarely met and I could be quite cold. My moods would overflow into my parenting and even work. After 20+ years of this I had very little hope that things could change. I was not going to leave my family, but I did seek to escape through alcohol and pornography at times... [Now,] My wife has told me she feels safe. She has begun to trust that my change is not a passing fad. I have gained understanding in how to love her well. I look forward to being around her, and to pampering her and loving her well. This has overflowed into intimacy emotionally, spiritually, and physically...I didn't realize how much pain I was causing her, or how self focused I was. I was trying to get her to change and should have been working on me."

We're all insecure. 

I am.

You are. 

 

We might not be insecure about the same things, but we've all got it. 

 

Today, I want to talk about the insecurities that are common for women and the insecurities that are common for men. Spoiler alert: they're different.

 

But the insight most of us miss is that our specific insecurity in marriage actually is harming our spouse. 

Because of the way our spouse is designed by God, if there are certain things missing in marriage, it pains them. 

Deeply.

 

This is an episode I hope you'll take to heart. 

Your insecurities may be harming your spouse. 

 

Included in this episode:

-What are insecurities?

-What are yours as a husband or as a wife?

-How are they affecting your spouse?

-How to move past them?

-How to get free of them?

 

I really hope this helps. 

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - We'd love to have you on the inside of a program and witness God do something amazing in and through you! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc is the place to sign up for a free Clarity Call.

When asked how we can improve the program a recent graduate wrote:

The course is absolutely brilliant. The course materials (videos and pdfs) are top notch in terms of content, and Belah is totally invested in her teaching and coaching, the content of which is simply superb.

It's been meticulously researched. And the materials are attractive and mostly very user friendly. 

The accountability groups are a master stroke. Most of all, everything is covered by prayer and led by the Holy Spirit. I can safely say that I have learned more in this course than any course I have done in the past, whether secular or religious.

More importantly no course or teaching has effected such a radical change in my character and behaviour as this one. There are very few things that could be improved.

Well done Belah and all the team in producing something that is not only very professional, but is an absolute life saver in so many marriages, including mine!

Amber can tell you straight up... God has changed her. 

For so many reasons, she would have said her behavior was warranted.

(I know the feeling and have said the words myself!)

And God was kind to open her eyes to her pride. 

The pride that was ripping her husband apart. 

And yet, God got her attention. 

He stretched forth His hand and showed her what she couldn't see on her own. 

He used her husband's leadership to bring her to a place of recognition of her sin. 

And then she chose the humble and wise way. 

I must say I am SO proud of Amber. How she has grown. How she now lives out the joy that God restored to her marriage! 

It's worth celebrating. I hope you'll listen and be encouraged by what God has done in her heart (first), (then) in her marriage, and in her family. 

Love and gratefulness for our amazing Father, 

Belah

PS - If you'd like to see how to transform your situation, we'd love to help. The first step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

Client testimonial... before the ladies program (the state of their marriage): 

"Completely overwhelming! It was causing pain and sadness in every area of our lives."

After the ladies program:

"Our love has grown beyond my imagination. My husband and I are tender and loving and supportive to each other like never before. My husband has truly softened over the last few months through my using the tools in this program. Our fighting has stopped! Arguing is not our way of life anymore. Our children are doing so amazing and I can see them feeling settled and safe. Our intimacy is God honoring and I desire my husband…which was never the case!

Our marriage will never be the same! I honestly rejoice every day that Jesus brought this podcast and program in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!"

 

There can only be 1 answer to this question:

Yes, or No. 

 

Well, who do you go to to answer questions like this?

Do you have a pastor?

A friend?

A mentor?

A favorite author?

A researcher?

A scientist?

A porn counselor?

An SA therapist?

A previous user?

Your own experience?

Your own intuition? 

 

Who has the authority in your life to answer this question?

Ahem... "the great Belah Rose?"

 

Just so we're clear, when I said, "Let there be light"... it stayed dark.

When your pastor said it... when your favorite author/researcher/friend/counselor/author/confidante said it... probably the same.

Maybe there was a window already open, so God's light actually allowed it to be light... but ultimately, they don't have power or authority anywhere, ANYWHERE close to God.

 

God. 

 

But is He the biggest authority to you?

 

Does what He says matter to you the MOST?

 

I invite you to pause. Ponder. 

Are His words MOST important?

To you?

 

Let's say, your answer is yes.

But then, how do you know what God says... especially about an exclusively 21st-century issue, i.e. porn?

 

Well, actually it isn't a 21st-century issue.

And God speaks about it. Many times.

And He clearly answers this question.

 

I don't know if you want to hear it, but He does speak to it.

Before we get there.

 

In truth...

Apathy is easier.

Skepticism is easier.

Laziness is easier. 

 

But just because you don't care (apathy),

or believe (skepticism),

or want to (laziness),

...swim away from the impending waterfall, 

doesn't mean it won't kill you when you inevitably get to it.

 

 

Do you care what the Bible says? Do you believe what the Bible says? Do you want to discover what the Bible says?

I had a conversation via email with a dear friend about a year ago. I would love for you to read it to learn why I think the Bible should be pursued, is trustworthy, and can be utterly wonderful for you: delightyourmarriage.com/bible

 

So, to answer this question...

"The great Belah Rose" fears God too much to not tell you: 

yes, it is a salvation issue.

 

"Anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart...

better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell."

Jesus says it is. We're talking about hell. We're talking about lust. We're talking about salvation.

(In Matthew 5:28)

 

 

I hope one day this will be true of me...

"I never shrank back from telling you what you needed to hear... either publicly, or in your homes [or in your earbuds].

I have had one message...

the necessity of repenting from sin

and turning to God,

and of having faith in our Lord Jesus."

Acts 20:20-21

 

 

Belah

 

PS - Next steps:

Repent from your sin.

Turn to God [i.e. read your physical Bible to learn / discover / encounter who He actually is] and have faith in our Lord Jesus.

PPS - There IS hope AND help. Maybe we can help. Jesus most definitely can help! If you'd like to investigate whether or not we can help, we invite you to schedule a free, no obligation Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

Quote from a graduate of Masculinity Reclaimed:

Before MR: "My sex life was a mess before I found DYM. It's really hard to find anyone that will talk to you about sex in a godly way. The world is full of lies, DYM pulls the truth out of the Bible and gives you exactly what you need to get on a healthy trajectory for your marriage and sex life!"

After MR: "I think my biggest celebration is just having the weight of discontentment lifted. It is so frustrating and depressing to be constantly dissatisfied with your sex life. It truly is like carrying around a huge weight. To finally be free of that and realize that I could be satisfied and happy without doing anything but changing my heart posture was amazing. I no longer feel like the victim of a bad marriage, but rather the recipient of a blessed marriage!"

I don't have to tell you that the enemy is out for families. Because the best-case scenario is a mom and dad that love each other raising children that grow up to be the men and women to do God's will in the earth.

So, if the enemy can tear at the soul of the marriage. The most sacred part. The intimacy. Then the family crumbles. 

But God.

Wayne is so courageous to share what God has done because he knows it can help someone, maybe like you to know you're not alone. 

This is a story I've heard many times. Wayne made a big error. One that could have changed his family's future to one completely different with so much pain and heartache. 

When he was found out, it was the hardest days of their lives. It was devastating.

A friend told him about Delight Your Marriage. 

When he heard Mick's testimonial (Episode 363) he knew he had to do the program and he went ahead.

It wasn't easy for him. It took ownership. It took struggle. It took perseverance. It took time. It took patience. 

It took prayer. It took other men rooting him on. Encouraging him. Praying for him. 

He didn't give up.

And God healed their marriage.

God healed their connection.

God healed his wife's heart. 

There is so much good in that home now. Their many kids feel more relaxed and able to be themselves in the home. Their friendship is stronger. He appreciates all the levels of connection he now enjoys with his wife.

She said, "if you told me this [is how it would be] a year ago, I wouldn't have believed it." He agrees "That's not who I was" but now it is.

God be praised.

I hope you are encouraged by another journey that God is healing families. It's not easy but it is SO worth it. 

If you needed this to own your mess and turn your family's future around. It's time. Don't waste any more precious time and join our men's program to transform it all. 

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Have a conversation with Dana at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see how we can help you.

 

PPS - A different husband who graduates next week wrote:

"I feel very different. A kinder, more gentle, caring human being has emerged. 

I feel more confident in myself and in my masculinity.

I can safely say that I have learned more in this course than any course I have done in the past, whether secular or religious.

More importantly, no course or teaching has effected such a radical change in my character and behavior as this one."

 

Maybe it's your turn: delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

 

Driving down the road, crying out to God. 

And, maybe, the strongest he's ever heard the Lord responded to him.

It wasn't rebuke. But an invitation. 

He saw into the heart of God. 

Real tears started rolling down his face.

---

I invite you to listen to Dan's story. 

 

Maybe it's not unlike yours...

...have a marriage, for some decades.

...have gone through struggles and broken dreams.
​
​...have a couple of children.

​​...desire to be who God called him to be.

​​...desire to have the connection with God he hoped was available.

 

A friend at church shared with him about the podcast.

He started listening to dozens of episodes... and eventually felt he needed to do a call. 

He took the courage to have a Clarity Call with Dana. 

Then found out his friend did the program and was on the podcast himself testifying of what God had done. 

I hope you are encouraged that, just as God spoke to Dan, He wants that level of connection and intimacy with YOU. 

 

I invite you to shut off distractions and go before Him...

...in joy, silence, praise, worship, prayer, bowed head, bowed knee, bowed heart... before our love, God, King and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

 

Love, 

Belah

PS - We'd love to help you draw closer to God, live His way, and witness God transform your relationships: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - Dan references the Pre-Dating workbook.

 

Also, from a different wife who graduated today: 

"What can a blind man who now sees say, except "Praise God! It's a miracle! My life has been forever changed and I will be eternally grateful!" 

God did ALL of the work and He gets all of the credit. But He 100% did it through this program."

 

Sign up for a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

I should be clear... I don't struggle with this. The stories I share about my pride in this episode are a complete rarity. Almost never happens.
​I also don't struggle with lying... :D 

(Just kidding :)

I need this learning as much as anyone... which is why I'm excited to share what God is teaching me!

----

"My spouse needs to change..." 

"[He is / She is] doing so many bad things...so many..."

"There's nothing I can do unless [he / she] changes..."

 

I knew this was a disempowering mindset that I saw often.

But it wasn't until this week when God confronted me with my pride, that I learned that "self-pity" is the sin of pride. 

 

Ouch.

But true.

 

(I learned this through the book by R. T. Kendall's The Power of Humility. I highly recommend it.)

Wallowing in your pain isn't God's way. 

 

"But I don't deserve to be treated like this!"

I hear you.

 

Job didn't deserve his suffering either. 

His suffering was profound. 

Maybe yours is too.

 

Job started out strong. Even when others encouraged him to deny God's goodness, he stayed faithful to God and honored His faithfulness regardless.

But eventually, he succumbed to self-pity, he was severely corrected for his wallowing in self-pity.

 

I hope you and I will heed what God said to Job. And that we would respond the way Job did to His correction.  

 

I encourage you to lean into His discipline. 

He is a good Father who disciplines His children.

 

God is kind to bring us to repentance.

And don't worry... I needed this episode too. Let's draw near to God. Lay down our pride and acknowledge and seek Him as Lord and King.

 

Love, 
Belah

 

PS - We'd love to help you with your marriage, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for a free Clarity Call. 

 

PPS - If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now to give you insights on what needs to change and the first steps in how to with free resources... go to delightyourmarriage.com/health to take the Marital Health Assessment. 

 

From another recent graduate:

Before the men's program:
"Struggles - Arguing, lack of trust, loss of peace frequently, little laughter, lack of joy, lack of fun. I was worried that if I didn't change, my wife might leave me after the kids leave for college.

After:
"Getting compliments and thanks from my wife (I would get them so so rarely). My wife hugging and kissing me and being playful. Holding hands and walking together when outside in public.

Peace at home, laughter between us and with kids. We are in love again."

Final thoughts:

"It's the best life changing thing that happened to me.

Its changed my view about my wife, about women, it helped me change to understand my wife and women better, helped with my relationship with my kids, my mother and sister.

My relationship with my mom and sis was very bad, it's improving now. Trying to use the CIRQUE, No arguments, gratefulness, compliments at work and other relationships.

It's worth a million bucks!!!!"



Glory to God!
We'd love to help you too! Find out more on a free Clarity Call: http://delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Back 1.5 years ago, Taylor went through the men's program and witnessed God do some important work. Most important: in his heart. 

But as Jesus says:

For from within, out of the heart of man,

come evil thoughts, sexual immorality,

theft, murder, adultery, coveting,

wickedness, deceit,

sensuality, envy, slander,

pride, foolishness.

All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person."

If the point of Delight Your Marriage is to help men and women get their heart right, then of course the rest would follow.

My encouragement to you today, is focus on the heart. Focus on surrendering your heart to the Lord so He can free you of all of that which you hate.

He is God and there is freedom with Him.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you're looking for changes like this, we would love to help you on a Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

From another recent graduate: 

MR Grad: "GOD is certainly using DYM [Delight Your Marriage] to impact lives."

 

Before MR: "Some of the biggest struggles I was facing were that marital intimacy was all but nonexistent. That included emotional intimacy- whether I wanted to see that or not. 

I have long struggled with pornography... My self-worth was in the dumps. I was always looking for affirmation from my wife and she from me. Neither of us delivered - neither could deliver enough.

After MR: "I'm taking ownership. This is my home. This is my marriage. She is my wife. Ours is a union blessed by God.

In taking my roles as husband, father, help mate more seriously, my whole family has begun to benefit.

The man's role is not to simply coexist, but to lead the marriage and family. I can make a difference in the family by leading to and with God." 

You may be on a journey to get a better marriage... 

But do you know where you are right now? 

 

The trouble is when people with a 9/10 marriage give advice to someone with a 2/10 marriage... 

It doesn't make sense. AND a left turn at the WRONG TIME could lead to disaster.

That is why we developed the Marital Health Assessment, a tool you can use to determine if you're on track in your marriage. 

 

Or if you need a left turn now or to stay straight for another 37 exits :)

 

I invite you to take this free Marital Health Assessment to determine where you are now so you can wisely choose your next steps!

Delightyourmarriage.com/health

We are indeed at war. 

Now is not the time to walk idly by. 

Now is not the time to pretend it's all just fine. 

Now is not the time to think only about ourselves.

 

And your marriage matters during the tribulation. 

Regardless of who endures the end times (our generation... or the next, or next, or next...) what you do or don't do in your marriage matters.

 

Whether or not Christianity is worthwhile to your kids can be significantly impacted by what they see in your marriage.

 

But what does preparing for the end times PRACTICALLY look like?

What does marriage have to do with the end times? Actually, a lot.

Well, I am hoping today's episode is entertaining and encouraging. 

 

Thank you, 

Belah

 

PS - 

We'd love to help you delight your marriage. Your first (courageous, yet super easy -- and worth it!!) step is a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

Men's Graduate Quote: 

"Your program is so holy spirit inspired. I just continue to be amazed at the content in the teaching. I like that it was very practical and easy to understand. I love that the first and main focus was on our relationship with God before it moved into other areas or even included our wives."

As an Amish growing up, Donny has had quite the journey. 

Just a couple of years ago after God rescued him from a very difficult place, his marriage actually was fairly good. 

 

He found and listened to the podcast for quite a while and felt convicted that he needed to do the men's program. 

He was content in his own marriage, he just wanted to know if he could recommend it to others. 

But he was surprised to see how helpful it was to him personally, and his marriage grew even more than he thought possible. :) 

 

Things got tricky when some people approached him with concern about the fact that I'm a lady in leadership. 

Wisely so, he and his wife grappled with and prayed about it. 

He distinctly felt the Lord speak to his heart about it. I would love for you to hear what he felt the Lord say. 

 

I hope his story encourages you. 

 

Love, 

Belah

 

PS - If you would like to see how we can help you, take the courageous step and sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

Delighted Wife Grad Quote:

Before DW: "We had a home full of animosity. Chaos. Yelling and fighting. We were not intimate."

After DW: "This program has truly changed my marriage forever! This has empowered me to forgive, put my trust in Jesus, and to bring my marriage to the place I never thought possible. I started this program broken and in utter despair. The sadness and the defeat was a physical pain. That weight has been lifted off of me. We still have things to work on, but so thankful for the tools and hope to keep on pursuing toward the marriage I dreamt of!"

Abiding in God's Love by Living a Life of Surrender
(Formerly Titled: Real Love Takes Sacrifice)

We know the Bible says "God is love" (1 John 4:8) and that He loved us first. But if we're honest, many of us spend more time wondering, "Does God really love me?" than asking the deeper, more revealing question: "Do I truly love Him?"

That's the heart of today's message. God's love for you is unshakable, unchanging, and eternal. The real question is whether your love for Him is genuine—and if it's showing up in your life the way true love always does: through sacrifice.

When You Don't Feel God's Love

Maybe you've been a Christian for years but can't remember the last time you felt God's love. You've read the verses. You've prayed the prayers. But it's like you're in a spiritual drought.

The truth? Feelings aren't the measure of His love. But there's often a missing link when we feel disconnected from God—and it's not that He's holding back. It's that our love for Him hasn't moved from words to action.

Abiding in God's Love Requires Sacrifice

Jesus said plainly, "If you love Me, keep My commands" (John 14:15). Love isn't just warm feelings or goosebumps in worship—it's obedience. And obedience requires sacrifice.

That sacrifice may look like:

• Giving up your comfort

• Laying down your need for control

• Surrendering your demand to understand everything before trusting

• Releasing opinions that don't align with His Word

It's the same principle in marriage—love grows deeper when it's willing to lay self aside for the other's good. Our relationship with Jesus is no different.

The Pearl of Great Price and God's Love

In Matthew 13:45–46, Jesus tells of a merchant who sold all he had to buy one pearl of great value. That's what loving God looks like—letting go of everything else so you can fully hold onto Him.

You don't get the pearl without selling all. You don't experience the fullness of God's love without the surrender that real love demands.

Beyond the Honeymoon: Abiding in God's Love Daily

Some of us have had that powerful, early experience with God—a "honeymoon" season where His presence felt constant and overwhelming. But just like in marriage, the relationship matures. The emotions may not always be intense, but the love grows deeper as it's proven through daily, intentional sacrifice.

Surrender: The Path to Experiencing God's Love

If you want a fresh revelation of God's love, start here:

1. Ask Him to show you where He's calling you to surrender.

2. Choose obedience in that area—even when it costs you.

3. Trust Him with the outcome.

When you give Him your heart in this way, you'll discover what you can't manufacture through feelings alone: the deep, abiding joy of walking in step with His love.

Blessings, 

The Delight Your Marriage Team

PS - If you're ready to take the next step toward real transformation in your marriage, I'd love to invite you to a free Clarity Call. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share your story, discover what's been holding you back, and see if our program is the right fit for you. Don't wait—your next season of connection, joy, and hope could start today.

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent grad:
"I have daily devotions now, I practice gratitude daily now. I have more confidence and less anxiety around people or stressful situation. I feel closer to God now...what could be a bigger impact than that?"

As empty nesters, you know how they say you'll enjoy growing old together. Well, Kim says, "We were growing older, but not enjoying it."

Kim was suffering in her marriage -- crying on her friend's shoulder. As they prayed that God would change it.

Then, that friend told her about the podcast, the one you're listening to. 

That friend also told her husband. After hearing all the testimonials, he joined the men's program. 

Kim was kind of annoyed that he did this. Because she also listened to a couple of episodes and it pointed to areas of her marriage that she had wounding around.

Things turned around... REALLY beautifully. 

I know Russ, her husband, and Kim pretty well by now (after two years) and it has been remarkable seeing this couple grow. 

Their first transformation story was episode 293 (be sure to check that out!). That was the first time I met Kim. 

It's been amazing to have her in the Delighted Wife program and to see what God has done through it.

May this story encourage you. There is hope. If you're suffering and crying on a friend's shoulder... you just never know what God might do.

We invite you to take the next step and schedule a free Clarity Call: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Blessings, 

Belah

PS - Kim's entire marriage turned around because a friend had the courage to point her to a podcast. What if YOU are meant to be that friend to someone else?

I invite you to forward this to someone who may need hope... hope that God still transforms marriages and families.

Recent wife grad quote: 

"Belah has done the most important thing for me which is change the negative beliefs that I have had concerning my marriage and helped me to see from a renewed perspective which has forever impacted my marriage! Both my husband and I am grateful for what this program has done for us.

I have attended many marriage seminars and trainings throughout my marriage and this is by far the best investment I have ever made."

My heart goes out to any wife who has experienced sexual abuse. There are so many layers of pain... it's truly horrible. 

As a husband, the evil that was done to your wife harmed her immeasurably. The person you love the most.

And it impacted your marriage, your intimacy, and your life forever. 

 

Is healing possible?

What if she doesn't "DEAL WITH" her abuse?

(Sometimes I hear men say that their hands are tied if she doesn't deal with her trauma.)

Can a husband do anything?

 

I believe Bill's story can give you hope. 

He would say, "Yes." 

 

From many years of a full life but an empty marriage, he is thrilled to tell you, there is hope even for your marriage. 

He has 43 years under his belt. 

He was a self-diagnosed "podcast addict." :) Always looking to FIX his wife. He knew there had to be a solution. But nothing moved the needle

...until Delight Your Marriage.

 

He said after 3 months of the Masculinity Reclaimed program (MR)...

from decades of passionless marriage, they feel "like 60-something teenagers ...we're so in love!"

 

His wife sent me an email after she heard his interview and she confirmed what he said and shared her sentiments as well. I read that on the podcast as well. 

 

May you be encouraged for yourself or others!

(I encourage you to share this with someone who may need exactly this hope and encouragement!)

Love, 

Belah

PS - You're ready to witness God's transformation like Bill? It's as easy as a phone call to a friend, her name is Dana, and she's our Clarity Advisor. :) delightyourmarriage.com/cc 

Sign up for a free Clarity Call to help you sort through the hard and gain insight on next steps... possibly with us to have a transformation like Bill's!

PPS - This episode made my husband cry... that doesn't happen often. I hope it is healing to your heart like it was to his. 

Quote from a program grad:

"I would recommend this program to any husband who feels trapped like I did when I first reached out to Belah. I came into this program looking for someone to 'straighten out my wife.' Truth be told, I needed more help then she did. Belah challenged the narrative in my head. She pushed me to be vulnerable and soft and patient - all things that run counter to our culture. It was not always easy. In fact, it was often very uncomfortable and felt silly. But once I realized it wasn't about me and I committed wholeheartedly, I saw my wife begin to change before my eyes. The changes I made in MYSELF changed my wife. It wasn't always easy and it required more patience than I sometimes had, but in the end it was worth it. Every aspect of my relationship with my wife has improved and that was more than I bargained for. I have a greater understanding of who my wife is and why she is so special to both God and myself. Belah didn't fix my marriage - she did something better. She gave me the tools and the guidance to fix it myself, with God's help. This allows me to continually work on it, improve it, and cherish it after my time [in Delight Your Marriage] is over and for that I will always be thankful."

Clarity is crucial in a marriage because it allows individuals to gain self-awareness, understand their own emotions and behaviors, and without even realizing it, it can help you take responsibility for your part in the relationship dynamics. Maybe you didn't "cause it" but you haven't worked to solve it.

When couples face challenges or conflicts, it's easy to blame each other or external factors without examining what is really going on under the surface of the behaviors. A Clarity Call encourages an individual to look carefully at themselves, their patterns, history, and reflect on their thoughts, feelings, actions, and current situation.

Sign up for a free Clarity Call today! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc

By engaging in a Clarity Call, individuals can identify their own patterns and unresolved issues that may be impacting the relationship. It helps them recognize their own biases, insecurities, woundedness, and areas for personal growth. Through a Clarity Call, individuals can better understand how their own behaviors and reactions may influence the dynamics within the marriage.

Believe it or not, a Clarity Call can also foster empathy and compassion. When Dana speaks with an individual -- they take the time to understand their own experiences, process them, and become more attuned to their partner's emotions and perspectives.

This increased awareness enables them to approach conflicts with empathy, communicate more effectively, and find solutions that meet both partners' needs.

This is why the individuals on today's call said this: 

• "After that call, everything that I went through, it was just like, all the pieces of a major puzzle being put together."

 

• "You make it very easy. You make it our lives are in chaos and you guys just speak peace right into that situation and calm it down to where we can unload what we need to unload."

 

• "It was a great experience something I'll never forget because it was a great moment that I'll hold dear to my heart for the rest of my life."

Sign up for a free Clarity Call today! Delightyourmarriage.com/cc

I'd like to share Kevin's story, mostly in his own words. 

As always, there is a huge message of hope and transformation available in this story, so I hope you'll listen in!

After 28 years of marriage, feeling like roommates, Kevin said "I felt helpless" and "very isolated, very alone" in the struggles he experienced. 

As a very successful (and busy!) IT exec overseeing teams in India, UK, France, and elsewhere, and really being able to figure out most things on his own...

It was confusing to not be able to figure out marriage in the same way. And it was painful to hear his wife caring more about something like Diet Coke than him. Logically, he knew it wasn't true but it sure felt like it at times.

He listened to the DYM transformation stories (like this one!). And they sounded too good to be true.

But he kept hearing parts of his story over and over again through other people's DYM interviews. 

He thoroughly checked into the DYM work and dived into the podcasts.

Of the work, he said, "the more and more I listened, the more I found and heard the biblical basis of everything and heard the logic."

Then, he took courage and had the Clarity Call which he said "the Clarity Call was exactly what it says: it was very clarifying."

Once in, of the program: "It was very incremental, very linear, and based in a way where it clicks, where it makes sense."

"The feedback loop, the accountability, the camaraderie of all the other gentlemen going through the program, that environment is an extra dimension of learning that I think is important, if not key to success."

"It pours all the ingredients together to make things work."

"I talked about things I have never talked about with anybody in my whole life during that part of the program."

 

Through the Delight Your Marriage program, Kevin experienced an improvement in his marriage and a greater sense of fulfillment and walk with God.

 

We would love to take the next step with you too. Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and we can witness your transformation as well!

(And who knows, maybe just like Kevin, you'll be our next transformation story who initially thought it was "too good to be true"!)

 

Love & Blessings,

Belah

 

PS -- If you're wondering how healthy your marriage is right now so you can get clear on the aspects to improve, fill out the Marital Health Assessment for a free evaluation of your marriage health so you can take steps to make it even better! delightyourmarriage.com/health

 

PPS -- Take action now and sign up for the Clarity Call. Sign up for a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and we can witness your transformation as well!

I am grateful so many men share their unfiltered hearts with me. 

It is an honor and a privilege. 

I find that many men feel extremely misunderstood. And they have numbed their pain just to "get through".

The problem with numbing is we don't see the people right in front of us and the pain they are experiencing. 

What I see so frequently is men who are desperately trying to be the men God designed them to be, but are frustrated with the lack of respect in their marriages.

I want to help you understand...

1 - that your feelings here are valid and even God-designed

2 - there is a productive way to handle this gap

(Spoiler alert: it starts on the inside of you.)

 

Love & Blessings,

Belah

 

PS -- 

Are you curious about the overall health of your marriage? Respect is a big piece and when it's missing, it impacts the emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy of a marriage. 

Discover the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage with our free online Marital Health Assessment delightyourmarriage.com/health

When you do, we'll send you some free resources and recommendations based on your specific situation and needs.

Fill out the free Marital Health Assessment now. delightyourmarriage.com/health

 

Graduate Quote:

"It's changed it completely, our home environment is filled with tenderness, compassion, love and respect."

Oh, the pain of frustration, being consistently misunderstood, and having your needs (legitimate needs) consistently trampled upon.

Both Jerry and Joyce felt it. And Jerry desperately looked for answers. Delight Your Marriage wasn't his first program -- but unfortunately, the other one gave advice that almost drove his wife to a nervous breakdown. 

Jerry didn't get out of his marriage, though his frustration level (due to his hurt) was through the roof. 

The pain was so deep for her, she couldn't even attend the church he pastored.

Joyce was considering separation and even talking with lawyers. 

But then Jerry decided to give Delight Your Marriage a try. 

Now... a year later, Joyce not only loves her husband again, but "likes him," too.

("Liking" your spouse can be way harder than "loving" them.)

She's actually looking forward to raising their small children together and is happy even being a pastor's wife now. 

The healing that has taken place in just over a year, is now impacting every single person in their ministry and family life. 

God is amazing and we give Him all the credit for this transformation! 

We are honored He has used the programs of Delight Your Marriage to help bring about these changes for them. 

If you're at a similar place (or not quite as extreme), then know there is hope for you, too. 

There is a price for change like this -- effort, time, financial investment, energy, courage, humility and even getting uncomfortable --

But take it from Joyce...

It is worth it. 

Your next step is to get on a Clarity Call ( delightyourmarriage.com/cc ) to discover how to change you that will impact all those around you (and specifically your marriage).

Love,

Belah

 

PS - Seriously... It's time to discover how you can be the change agent God wants to use to turn your marriage around, so you love AND like your spouse. 

delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Have a free Clarity Call to gain insight and discern your next steps: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

PPS - If you know a marriage that needs hope like this, will you take the courage and care to forward this episode on? You may be saving a family and faith community in the process.

 

Quote from a course graduate:

"The things that I've learned are really priceless when it comes to my marriage… When I first started this program it seemed like my wife didn't even want to talk to me, much less make love to me.  Man how things have changed...The changes that I see in my wife are nothing short of a miracle, she has went from being cold and callous, To warm and loving!"

Join us for an inspiring conversation with Jenny, a loving housewife and mother of four from Finland. In this episode, Jenny shares her remarkable transformation journey and the positive impact it had on her marriage.

Previously working as a nurse before having kids, Jenny and her husband made a conscious decision to prioritize their family and serve the Lord in a unique way. Through their involvement in a discipleship-making movement, they found Delight Your Marriage, a program that brought significant changes to their lives.

Jenny's husband initially joined the men's program and experienced a profound transformation (from her perspective as the wife). Encouraged by his progress, Jenny recognized her own need for growth and decided to embark on her own journey. She realized that she had lost touch with her own needs while prioritizing the needs of her family, often neglecting her spiritual well-being.

But she realized she was busy and God spoke to her heart that she was being a "Martha" far more than a "Mary."

Through the Delighted Wife program, Jenny discovered the importance of immersing herself in the Word of God, prayer, and worship. These foundational habits reignited her passion for the Lord, restoring her joy for her children, and enabling her to share the Gospel with others.

One significant change in Jenny's transformation was her renewed desire for intimacy in her marriage.

As she developed a deeper understanding of how women and men were designed, thanks to participation in the program, Jenny felt more comfortable expressing her needs to him. 

By cultivating new habits and taking small steps, Jenny found her way back to a more fulfilling and vibrant spiritual life.

She shares her story as an example of how investing in one's marriage, time with God, and meditating on the Word of God can lead to profound transformation. If you're longing for a more joyful, intimate, and fulfilling marriage, Jenny's story is sure to inspire you.

To hear Jenny's full story and learn more about her transformation journey, listen to the complete interview on this episode.

If you're ready to take the next step in your own marriage, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc and discover how Delight Your Marriage can help you experience a delightful and intimate marriage like never before.

Remember, your marriage is a precious gift that deserves your investment and attention.

Don't miss out on the incredible transformation possible when you prioritize your relationship and embrace personal growth.

 

Love, 

Delight Your Marriage team

 

PS - Ready to experience a delightful and intimate marriage? Take the next step towards transforming your relationship by signing up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc today.

Discover how Delight Your Marriage can empower you to cultivate a deep and fulfilling connection with your spouse.

Quote from a program grad: 

"If you're committed to the program and make it a priority, you can be truly successful! Bella has changed our marriage in a really special way."

Mother's Day is almost here! (This Sunday!)

Make sure the mom in your life is getting treated really nicely! She is WONDERFUL and deserves to be celebrated!

I have a wonderful mom.

She sacrificed so much for me. I am forever in her debt.

As a mom myself... I believe sacrificing to be a good mom brings her greater joy than if she had never sacrificed at all. 

 

Sacrifice. Duty. Responsibility. 

 

Sounds antiquated, old-fashioned, and maybe even oppressive...?

 

Am I morally obligated to take care of my kids? 

Did I assume the responsibility for their well-being when my husband and I enjoyed...

...ehemm...

"actions with procreative potential"...

which (happily) resulted in a child?

 

I would submit the answer is "yes."

 

I now lay down Feelings and pick up a life built upon proper values. 

Hopefully, your mom did the same... otherwise, it would have been a very difficult existence for you. 

 

The nature of a mother: assuming a role and duty to care for those souls entrusted to her.

 

What does this have to do with wives?

In today's society, we often hear that women should only make love if they Feel like it. 

And they might say it's bad to make love when you don't naturally desire it. When you don't Feel like it.

 

If I used that logic in caring for my children... only when I Feel like it, they'd justly arrest me for child neglect. 

I am a self-centered, selfish, self-focused, narcissist if I am led by Feelings. 

 

Feelings are not my guide. 

Jesus is.

 

How do I know who Jesus is, so I know what He is like, and what He wants of me?

The Bible.

 

Is there any other source that clarifies who and what Jesus asks of me better than the Bible? 

No.

 

If all that is true... why is it we (ok... maybe it's just me :) struggle like this... 

 

Feel down, follow by: laying on the couch...with a bag of Cheetos

 

Feel anxious, follow by: distracting my worries by scrolling through interesting video clips

 

Feel tired / annoyed / down / uncomfortable / frumpy / fat / unattractive / undesireable / lazy / anxious / stressed / cramped / worried / distracted / entertained / even happy..., follow by: heading straight to bed avoiding all manner of intimacy... at all costs.

 

At times, my mouth says: "Jesus is my King,"

but in real life: "my Feelings rule". 

 

(These all certainly have been true, but when I repent sincerely and come back to Jesus' way, He has helped me to stop following the tempting Feelings less and less.)

 

We all need to live by our values from the Bible. 

 

The Bible becomes the standard for life and there are a lot of important things about marriage, marital sacrifice, and the purpose of marital intimacy. 

It would be worthwhile to look these up: Matt 19:4-6, Mark 10:6-9, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Corinthians 7:1-16, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Timothy 5:14, Romans 13:13-14, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7, Hebrews 13:4.... and that's just the New Testament!

 

I assume the responsibility of taking care of my children, to fulfill the role of Mom. 

I assume the responsibility of taking care of my husband, to fulfill the role of Wife. 

 

This is not following the world's definition of happiness.

It is true happiness.

This is in God's will.

This is following Jesus. 

 

Happy Mother's Day! 

I bet you wouldn't wish you followed Feelings more and sacrificed less to follow Jesus... in your role as a Mom.

I invite us both to hold that same standard for your role as a Wife.

You have sacrificed well, happily, and joyfully...and it is worth it! :)

Bravo & thank you!

The precious souls in your care, thank you!

 

Love,

Belah

PS If applying this thought process toward your spouse feels
convicting, we understand and have been there, too. We're here to help...if you want help, schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Do Delight Your Marriage programs help? That's a fair question...here's another graduate quote to give you hope:

Before the program challenges were:

"low sex drive, no physical pleasure from sex, pressure to have sex often, resentful of having to have sex often, insecure body image"

After the program:

"I now look forward to sex, enjoy it physically, am able to seduce my husband, and we both feeling amazingly satisfied all the time!!"

 

Join us: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

This title was hard to come up with.

 

Essentially, I want you to have the tools and mindset to figure out how to set boundaries with yourself and with others when needed.

Jesus was the servant of all. 

He came to serve not to be served. 

He was the most humble and meek. 

And yet, Jesus set boundaries.

A lot. 

Here are a couple, but once you read this, you'll probably not be able to read a parable or look at the life of Jesus without noticing His leaning into boundaries over and over again. 

Jesus disappointed people because his priority was God over people

In Mark 1:35-39,

• Jesus wakes up early to pray, but his disciples come looking for him, saying that "everyone is looking for you."

In Matthew 16:21-23, 

• Jesus tells his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and scribes. Peter rebukes him, saying that this should never happen to him.

• Jesus responds by telling Peter that he is setting his mind on human things rather than God's things and calls him a hindrance.

In Luke 14:25-33,

• Jesus sets the boundary of the cost of discipleship. He says anyone who wants to follow him, essentially compared to their love for Jesus, must hate their family and even their own life. They must carry their own cross, and give up all their possessions.

• If they're not willing to pay this price, they can't follow him.

In John 2:13-17,

• Jesus clears the temple of the money changers and merchants, telling them to stop making his Father's house a marketplace.

• He shows anger and uses physical force to set this boundary.

Jesus was the servant of all but did not allow anyone to trod on boundaries. 

So, what if you are trodding on God's boundaries?

What if your spouse wants to trod on the boundaries set by God?

Sexual boundaries? 

Disrespect boundaries? 

Other boundaries?

Should you set boundaries with yourself? 

Should you set boundareis with your spouse?

If so, how? 

Is there a way to have a generous heart and a kind spirit and yet set a firm boundary? 

 

This conversation goes into these things that are HARD to tease through. 

I don't think I have it all right.

This is a topic that I feel a bit reticent to release. And I think it will require prayer as you discern how it applies to you.

And what your next steps are.

 

Love & Blessings,

Belah

 

PS - Let us know if this topic spoke to you and if we can help, email us at belah at delightyourmarriage.com

 

PPS - Quote from a program graduate:

"I have become a delighted, playful wife that enjoys and desires sex.

My relationship to the Lord, my husband and our daughter has become more intimate."

Pastor David had a rocky start with his marriage. 

 

Facing his hurts wasn't what he actually wanted to do. He was nervous to bring it up to his wife -- they share all their finances. So he brought it up to her and said he wants to transform into the man, husband and father he wants to become.

 

Even only 4 weeks into the program, Pastor David's wife commented, "I have noticed a change. Keep it up. It was worth the money."

 

And she is not a physical touch kind of person, which was his highest love language. Yet, even in just those 4 weeks of implementing what was taught in the course, this has increased.

 

It's hard to face our pain, isn't it! It's tough to be vulnerable about the things we struggle with that are closest to our hearts...yes, it takes courage to open those wounds up so that we can get them healed.

 

Husband... wife... you don't have to struggle alone. Do you desire to grow but don't have a safe space to be open and real with what is going on in your heart and marriage?

 

We're here for that...we're a safe place to gently open up that really private, hurting space...or that struggle that you don't dare to share with anyone in your life.

 

We want your heart to be healed. We want to help you break free from the chains that hold you back. We want to breathe life into your weariness, hope into your despair, and help you be the man or woman of God that you long to be in your marriage and family...and ministry.

 

There is hope! We invite you to fresh faith and to follow even closer to the One who is THE way, THE truth, and THE life. 

 

We'd love to help. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if our program would be a good fit for you.

 

Blessings,

Darcy (on Belah's behalf)

PS - The Pre-Dating workbook is finally here! If you've been blessed (like David -- who said he already bought 6! and plans to buy more!) by the content from Delight Your Marriage over the years and want to see young people get these tools before they ever get married, get your copy now! https://amzn.to/3NhF8DL

After nearly four decades of marriage, Kim and Russ had done the hard work. They had raised five children, invested in professional counseling, read marriage books, and sought spiritual guidance.

And still, something was missing.

The breakthrough moments they experienced through the years never seemed to last. They still longed for a deeper connection and the kind of love they had always dreamed of.

The Pain of "Almost" Fixing It

Kim felt emotionally unsafe for far too long. Arguments were frequent, and intimacy had become something to endure rather than enjoy. She said, "We spent tens of thousands of dollars on counseling… but nothing stuck."

They had learned communication tools, gone on retreats, and practiced new habits—but it felt like patchwork. They both feared they'd never experience the closeness they longed for.

What Made This Marriage Transformation Different

When a close friend experienced radical transformation in her marriage through our program, Kim and Russ took notice. Russ joined the men's program first—not out of crisis, but out of conviction. He realized he hadn't been loving Kim as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5), and he wanted to grow.

As Russ surrendered his old ways, Kim noticed a clear shift. He was more present, more loving, and no longer reactive. Over time, her heart softened too.

Though initially hesitant, Kim eventually joined the women's program, encouraged by the changes she saw and her own desire to grow.

"I wanted to catch up," she shared with us.

The Breakthrough They Couldn't Find Anywhere Else

What set this experience apart wasn't just the information—it was the biblical framework, practical tools, and deep community that made lasting transformation possible.

Together, they:

• Ended their cycle of arguing

• Rebuilt emotional safety and trust

• Restored intimacy in every sense—physical, emotional, and spiritual

• Learned how to love and respect one another as God intended

Russ shared with us, "I've been in church all my life, but I never really learned how to live out Scripture in my marriage. This taught me how."

A Marriage They Never Thought Was Possible

Today, Kim and Russ say their marriage is "a 9 or 10." Not because it's perfect—but because they've been changed from the inside out.

They speak with laughter and warmth. They tease each other. They still work through conflict—but without yelling, shutdowns, or spirals that last for days or weeks.

Now? They hold hands again. They share their hearts freely. They support each other's needs—spiritually, emotionally, physically.

Russ opens the car door for Kim every time. And she waits for him to do it.

Healing Beyond Just the Two of Them

The impact of their transformation has rippled outward—into their relationships with their grown children, with friends, and even in their church.

What used to feel tense or guarded has become relaxed. Warm. Full of grace.

When asked to describe their marriage today, each responded with one word: 'Delight' (Russ) & 'Thankful' (Kim).

That's not where they began. But by God's grace—and a willingness to grow—they now live in daily gratitude.

For the peace in their home. For the tenderness in their marriage. And for the God who redeems all things.

 

Blessings,

The Delight Your Marriage Team

 

PS - Are you were Russ & Kim were before? 35+ years into marriage and feeling defeated and discouraged? You are not alone and your marriage story isn't over. Schedule a free Clarity Call to take the next step.

PPS - We are launching a Church Training pilot program this Fall! All the incredible material of DYM, created for weekly church trainings. It's going to change lives and we are so excited to see it! If you'd like your church to participate, check out our Church Training page for more info.

PPPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate:
"Often my wife would complain that I wasn't listening, didn't understand her well, and that she was walking on eggshells all the time (that feeling was mutual). Even though we were good friends and we had regular dates and romantic times together, she didn't see any depth to 'us'...I realized that more than our intimacy, God wanted to meet me and change my heart…Finally God had my attention and He started working in many different areas of my life, that had just been swept under the carpet for far too long…[I] learned to truly put myself on the cross, to draw close to my wife and seek to minister to her needs first."

Our interview is about how to get a young person to read/do this workbook that could set them up for a successful dating and married life!

---

WOW! I am honored and grateful! My goodness. 

 

So, the story goes... yesterday morning Amazon told me that it might be 3 days before the workbook could be live...

Pre-Dating Workbook: What you need to know and do before you start dating (and definitely during)

Biblical guidance from a marriage trainer and coach

https://amzn.to/40Hr21D

 

Eeek! 

 

Of course, we've all been counting down the days and the launch day was Friday. 

 

So yesterday (Thursday) I sent an ask to my list that they would pray that it would in fact be live on Friday. 

And guess what posted late on Thursday. 

By the time I saw it, somehow some clients had picked it up and already had purchased AND already had REVIEWED!!!

 

So, today BEFORE we even told our email list that it was live, it has been named #1 New Release for Christian Youth Ministry!!!!

 

WOW! 

 

THANK YOU if you have already purchased! If not, here's the link!

https://amzn.to/40Hr21D

Brett is fantastic! Firstly, many men have a similar past that we work with but don't share it openly. I really appreciate Brett's boldness to share and it encourages so many others!

That yes, even for your history, there IS HOPE!

My favorite quotes: 

• "Now, I can't wait to go home at night." 

 

• "[I have] closer friendships in MR than what I have in everyday life...It's unexplainable how you feel when you've got guys or brothers reaching out to you."

 

• "The biggest thing is my relationship with Lord has grown."

 

His marriage is transforming, healing, and trusting again -- his friendships are deep and encouraging, and as a father, he's influencing his kids for the Lord. 

(His wife is really liking the changes -- but he hasn't yet shared that he did the program.)

His relationship with the Lord is thriving like never before!

It's amazing to see what God has done! I hope you will feel encouraged too!

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you'd like help like Brett, sign up for a Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc

 

PPS - We're very soon to launch our Pre-Dating Video Course & Workbook - What you need to know & do before you start dating (but definitely during). 

Keep an eye on your inbox!

 

 

You are teaching them. 

Whether consciously or unconsciously, they're observing you and figuring out whether you have something they want. 

Do they want the marriage you have?

Is marriage worth it?

Do you have guidance that would actually give them the result they want?

 

If you've been around Delight Your Marriage a while, you know we are passionate about helping marriages get better, SO THAT they can do God's will better in the world. 

 

But what if your marriage was set up with the right framework, role modeling, and good habits BEFORE you even started your dating relationship? 

 

Since we started teaching marriage, we have always been told that they WISHED they knew this before ever getting married. 

 

 

And it's so true.

 

So many people didn't start out with the tools. 

 

They've never even seen a good marriage!

But your son or daughter could get a leg up.

They could get started on the spouse pursuit journey by having not only a great example (you!) but also the tools clearly articulated for them.

What if your son or daughter knew how to find and attract the right partner to help you fulfill your God-given purposes?

 

In our climate that may seem like a tall order!

 

You are teaching your kids whether you like it or not.

They learn that you have nothing helpful for them, or they learn that you can give them the tools and insights they need to thrive in their most important human relationship!

 

With all of our work with men and women, we have seen it done well and done very poorly many times.

And it is the right time for us to help this next generation START their marriage pursuit well. Ultimately we want them to find, marry, and sustain a wonderful marriage built upon biblical wisdom SO THAT they can do God's will in the earth.

 

Today's podcast is about how you can help the next generation.

We'd like your help as we're finalizing a pre-dating resource! If you'd like to offer your wisdom and experience and suggestions, we'd really appreciate your input! Partner with us by filling out this survey How to help the next generation get and stay married? delightyourmarriage.com/dating

 

Blessings,

Belah 

 

PS - Seriously, I want to know what you think! We're finalizing pre-dating resources now – get in on this! 

Survey: How to help the next generation get and stay married?

delightyourmarriage.com/dating

 

PPS - If you need help on your own marriage for the sake of your kids, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc

A recent grad: 

BEFORE:

"Prior to doing MR I often felt alone and that my sexual desire was a problem. I felt my wife often intentionally withheld intimacy from me.

It was difficult to discuss because my wife felt I was blaming her and she wasn't enough."

AFTER: 
"Understanding my wife better.  Learning Health ways of responding. More and deeper sexual intimacy.  More freedom and playfulness


The learning and growth has meant I can focus on God better which enables me to be a better version of myself. This has enabled me to focus more on others."



If you need help on your own marriage for the sake of your kids, go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc