Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but donât always know how to askâabout resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. Sheâs joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face. If youâre ready for actionable tools and heartfelt conversations that will help you create a relationship that feels fulfilling, this podcast is for you.Â
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Have you ever avoided saying something because you didnât want to upset your partner, say it wrong, or turn the moment into a fight?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg talk about avoidance, conflict, control, and the hard conversations couples keep waiting to have. What can feel like âkeeping the peaceâ is often a way of trying to manage discomfort, predict your partnerâs reaction, and control the outcome before you take the risk of being honest.Together, they explore how avoidance shows up in everyday relationship moments, from asking for time away to navigating holiday plans, in-laws, hobbies, sex, and difficult needs. Greg shares what avoidance feels like from the inside, while Dr. Tracy explains why delaying hard conversations can break trust, lower relational power, and create the very reaction you were trying to prevent.They also talk about differentiation: learning to say what is true for you without trying to control how your partner feels. Because intimacy is not built by waiting for the perfect time. It is built by trusting the relationship enough to risk the real conversation.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Looking for a therapist in Canada? Check out our practice at iwtherapy
Learn the proven framework that helps couples after conflict in my After the Fight: How to Repair Workshop.
One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy â a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
Be Connected â 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you
WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.Â
Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.Â
Grab my first book I Didnât Sign Up for This
Ready to deepen your connection?â â â â â Download my 100 Questionsâ â â â â
Build better connection and feel close starting today. â â Join theâ â â 30 Days to Us Challengeâ â â â â
Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here.. Â
Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle â free quiz here.
Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.
Grab my free guide: Five Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy
đ˛ FOLLOW DR. TRACY
Subscribe to You Tube Â
Follow on Instagram â â â
â â â Follow on Facebook â â â
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What to Do When Repair Doesnât Make You Feel Close
Thursday, September 10, 2026 ⢠Duration 31:27
Have you ever had a conflict, talked it through, repaired it, and still didnât feel close afterward?In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares a recent date-night conflict with Greg that started with one small question: âWhat do you want for dinner?â But like so many relationship moments, it was not really about dinner. It was about decision fatigue, mental load, expectations, and the deeper feeling of not being seen.Dr. Tracy explores why repair does not always create instant closeness, even when both partners have taken ownership and talked through what happened. Sometimes your front brain understands that you are okay, but your nervous system has not caught up yet. She explains why shame often shows up in that gap, why self-compassion matters, and how to stop criticizing yourself for needing time.Youâll also learn three small ways to reconnect after conflict: choose physical touch that feels accessible, share one thing from your day that is not about the fight, and do one small caring action that says, âWeâre in this together.âBecause closeness does not always return all at once. Sometimes it comes back through one small, values-aligned step toward each other.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Looking for a therapist in Canada? Check out our practice at iwtherapy
Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.Â
One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy â a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.
Learn the proven framework that helps couples after conflict in my After the Fight: How to Repair Workshop.
Listen to this episode so you know what not to do when it comes to giving a meaningful apology.
Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.Â
WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Be Connected â 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you
Grab my first book I Didnât Sign Up for This
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
Ready to deepen your connection?â â â â â Download my 100 Questionsâ â â â â
Build better connection and feel close starting today. â â Join theâ â â 30 Days to Us Challengeâ â â â â
Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here.. Â
Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle â free quiz here.
Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.
Grab my free guide: Five Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy
đ˛ FOLLOW DR. TRACY
Subscribe to You Tube Â
Follow on Instagram â â â
â â â Follow on Facebook â â â
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Is It Your Marriage, or Is It September?
Thursday, September 3, 2026 ⢠Duration 29:47
Back-to-school season is full of advice about helping kids transition, but what about helping your relationship transition too?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg talk about the September shift: the moment summer ends, routines return, capacity drops, and couples start feeling more reactive, less patient, and less generous with each other. What can look like a relationship problem may actually be a capacity problem, a logistics problem, or an old pattern that stress has made louder.Together, they explore how back-to-school stress, mental load, activities, lunches, schedules, and fewer margins can land directly on your partnership. They also talk about how to make the invisible visible, sit down as a team, protect small rituals of connection, and ask better questions before resentment takes over.Because this season is real. Your capacity has changed. And your relationship may need a little more care, curiosity, compassion, collaboration, and connection as you move through it together.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Looking for a therapist in Canada? Check out our practice at iwtherapy
Be Connected â 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you
Grab my first book I Didnât Sign Up for This
Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.Â
WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.Â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy â a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.
Ready to deepen your connection?â â â â â Download my 100 Questionsâ â â â â
Build better connection and feel close starting today. â â Join theâ â â 30 Days to Us Challengeâ â â â â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions
Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here.. Â
Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle â free quiz here.
Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.
Grab my free guide: Five Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy
đ˛ FOLLOW DR. TRACY
Subscribe to You Tube Â
Follow on Instagram â â â
â â â Follow on Facebook â â â
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When One Partner Wants More Emotional Connection
Thursday, August 27, 2026 ⢠Duration 35:52
What do you do when youâre trying to build more emotional intimacy, but your partner says, âIâm just not a feelings personâ?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg answer a listener question from Michael, a husband who has been doing his own personal work around people-pleasing, anxious attachment, intimacy, and emotional connection. He wants to talk more openly with his wife about feelings, needs, and desire, but she often becomes defensive or says she doesnât see a problem in the relationship.Dr. Tracy and Greg explore why therapy language can be helpful, but also why it can create distance when one partner starts using new labels or tools before the other partner is ready. They talk about how to stay curious instead of boxing your partner in, why âIâm not a feelings personâ may actually mean âCan you see me as I am?â, and how some partners connect more naturally through side-by-side experiences, rituals, humour, shared activities, or being in the moment rather than formal check-ins.They also look at desire differences, responsive desire, vacation sex, and why the better question may not be âWhy donât you want sex with me?â but âWhat context makes pleasure and connection more accessible for you?âBecause emotional intimacy does not have to look the same for both partners. The work is learning how to recognize the ways your partner already lets you in, while also staying connected to what matters to you.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Ready to deepen your connection?â â â â â Download my 100 Questionsâ â â â â
Be Connected â 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you
Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.Â
WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.Â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy â a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.
Grab my first book I Didnât Sign Up for This
Build better connection and feel close starting today. â â Join theâ â â 30 Days to Us Challengeâ â â â â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions
Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here.. Â
Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle â free quiz here.
Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.
Grab my free guide: Five Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy
đ˛ FOLLOW DR. TRACY
Subscribe to You Tube Â
Follow on Instagram â â â
â â â Follow on Facebook â â â
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why Defensiveness Kills Intimacy
Thursday, August 20, 2026 ⢠Duration 24:56
What do you do when your partnerâs defensiveness is shutting down your desire, but youâre afraid that bringing it up will only make them more reactive?In this episode, Dr. Tracy answers a listener question about sex, defensiveness, and how to talk about what turns desire off without getting pulled into another negative cycle. She explains why defensiveness is understandable, especially when someone hears feedback as rejection or failure, but also names the truth so many couples miss: defensiveness impacts desire.Dr. Tracy explores why desire is not an on/off switch and why emotional safety, responsiveness, warmth, and daily interactions all shape whether the body feels open to connection. She also offers language for talking about desire without blaming your partner, including how to frame the conversation around what you both want more of: closeness, play, connection, and a sex life that feels good for both of you.Because the goal is not to say every hard thing perfectly. It is to stay clear, respectful, and grounded enough to say: this matters to me, and it matters to us.
đ MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Grab my free guide: Five Ways to Nurture Your Intimacy
Be Connected â 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you
Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.Â
đ WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.Â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy â a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.
Grab my first book I Didnât Sign Up for This
Build better connection and feel close starting today. â â Join theâ â â 30 Days to Us Challengeâ â â â â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions
Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here.. Â
Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle â free quiz here.
Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.
Ready to deepen your connection?â â â â â Download my 100 Questionsâ â â â â
đ˛ FOLLOW DR. TRACY
Subscribe to You Tube Â
Follow on Instagram â â â
â â â Follow on Facebook â â â
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Raine Maida and Chantal Kreviazuk: The Marriage Behind the Music
Thursday, August 13, 2026 ⢠Duration 54:21
With the release of their new joint memoir, Iâm Going to Break Your Heart: A Rock N Roll Love Story, and their upcoming fall tour, this conversation with Raine Maida and Chantal Kreviazuk feels especially timely to revisit.In this intimate conversation, Dr. Tracy sits down with the Canadian musicians and longtime partners to talk about the real work of long-term love: marriage, family, therapy, creativity, conflict, repair, and the choice to keep turning toward each other through the messier seasons of life.Together, they explore the story behind their documentary Iâm Going to Break Your Heart the âburnt chickenâ moment that revealed deeper invisible labor dynamics, and how everyday micro-heartbreaks can quietly shape connection over time. They also talk about maximizer / minimizer patterns, menâs resistance to therapy, the power of reframing therapy as coaching, and why interdependence, not perfection, is the foundation of lasting partnership.Youâll hear how Raine and Chantal use tools like CPR (Catch, Pause, Repair), eye-gazing, and intentional autonomy to stay connected through parenting, touring, hormonal shifts, and the evolving seasons of a decades-long relationship.If youâve ever felt alone in the messiness of marriage, this episode is a reminder that even the strongest relationships are built through rupture, repair, honesty, and the willingness to keep choosing each other.
New Book: Iâm Going to Break Your Heart: A Rock N Roll Love Story.Iâm Going to Break Your Heart / Break Your Heart TourIâm Going to Break Your Heart.Learn more about Raine Maida and his band Our Lady Peace
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Donât Define Your Relationship by Your Hardest Days
Thursday, August 6, 2026 ⢠Duration 36:39
Major life transitions can make even strong couples feel disconnected, reactive, and unlike themselves.In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg record from their new office after moving homes and reflect on what this season taught them about stress, partnership, and staying connected through change. From buying, selling, staging, packing, moving, and settling in, they talk about how stress can amplify old stories, trigger protective patterns, and make your partner look like the problem when really, the transition itself is putting pressure on both of you.Dr. Tracy and Greg explore why it helps to assume positive intent, ask âWhatâs best for us?â instead of âWhoâs right?â, and remember that different does not always mean wrong. They also talk about the importance of emotional check-ins, small rituals, involving kids in transition, and planning for the aftermath, because the stress does not magically end on moving day.Whether you are moving, welcoming a baby, navigating a health change, starting something new, or coming out of a major life shift, this episode is a reminder not to define your relationship by who you both are on the hardest days.
đ WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.Â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy â a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.
Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.Â
Be Connected â 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you.
Grab my first book I Didnât Sign Up for This
Build better connection and feel close starting today. â â Join theâ â â 30 Days to Us Challengeâ â â â â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions
Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here.. Â
Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle â free quiz here.
Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.
Ready to deepen your connection?â â â â â Download my 100 Questionsâ â â â â
đ˛ FOLLOW DR. TRACY
Subscribe to You Tube Â
Follow on Instagram â â â
â â â Follow on Facebook â â â
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
When Your Partner Avoids Conflict and Leaves You Alone
Thursday, July 30, 2026 ⢠Duration 32:32
What do you do when your partner keeps bidding for connection at the worst possible times, or in ways that feel irritating, inconvenient, or hard to receive?In this episode, Dr. Tracy answers a listener question that starts with annoying bids for connection, but quickly reveals something deeper: emotional safety. Because sometimes the issue is not the bid itself. It is the history underneath it. Your partner may be reaching for closeness, but if your vulnerability has been dismissed, exposed, used against you, or left unprotected in family conflict, that bid can feel less like connection and more like a request to open up where it has not felt safe.Dr. Tracy explores the difference between connection and emotional safety, why avoidance is not neutral, and how passivity in conflict can leave one partner carrying the emotional weight alone. She also shares what repair can look like when trust has been damaged: naming the pattern, asking for consistent follow-through, and creating a structure for returning to hard conversations instead of making promises just to end discomfort.Because your partnerâs bid may be an attempt to connect, and you are not required to offer vulnerability where vulnerability has repeatedly been mishandled.
đ MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.Â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy â a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.
Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.Â
đ WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Be Connected â 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you.
Grab my first book I Didnât Sign Up for This
Build better connection and feel close starting today. â â Join theâ â â 30 Days to Us Challengeâ â â â â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions
Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here.. Â
Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle â free quiz here.
Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.
Ready to deepen your connection?â â â â â Download my 100 Questionsâ â â â â
đ˛ FOLLOW DR. TRACY
Subscribe to You Tube Â
Follow on Instagram â â â
â â â Follow on Facebook â â â
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Stop Chasing Accountability From Your Mother-in-Law
Sunday, July 26, 2026 ⢠Duration 12:17
One of the hardest parts of mother-in-law conflict is that the thing you want most, accountability, can become the very thing keeping you stuck.In this short episode, Dr. Tracy talks to the daughter-in-law who has tried to explain, repair, clarify, and get her mother-in-law to finally understand the hurt she caused. It makes sense to want accountability, ownership, and responsibility. But when someone repeatedly shows that they do not have the capacity or willingness to offer it, continuing to chase that acknowledgment can leave your peace in someone elseâs hands.Dr. Tracy explores the shift from âHow do I get her to understand me?â to âKnowing what I know now, how do I want to show up?â Because acceptance is not approval, and it is not pretending the hurt did not happen. It is seeing reality clearly enough to make grounded decisions about your boundaries, your access, your family gatherings, your partnerâs support, and the relationship you want to have with yourself.
đ MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
đ WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Be Connected â 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you.
One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy â a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.
Grab my first book I Didnât Sign Up for This
Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.Â
Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.Â
Build better connection and feel close starting today. â â Join theâ â â 30 Days to Us Challengeâ â â â â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions
Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here.. Â
Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle â free quiz here.
Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.
Ready to deepen your connection?â â â â â Download my 100 Questionsâ â â â â
đ˛ FOLLOW DR. TRACY
Subscribe to You Tube Â
Follow on Instagram â â â
â â â Follow on Facebook â â â
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why You Sound Critical When You Really Want Connection
Thursday, July 23, 2026 ⢠Duration 36:54
Why does someone who longs for closeness often come across as critical, demanding, or angry?In this episode, Dr. Tracy looks at the other side of the defensiveness cycle: the partner who brings things up, reaches for connection, pushes for repair, and then gets labelled as âtoo angry,â âtoo much,â âcontrolling,â or âa nag.â But underneath that criticism is often something much more tender: a protest against disconnection.Dr. Tracy explores why criticism can become a nervous system strategy, especially when someone has learned that if they do not push, nothing changes. She explains how the pursuit for connection can turn into over-explaining, piling on examples, sending more texts, or trying to force reassurance in the moment, and why that often pushes a withdrawing or defensive partner even further away.This conversation is not about blaming the partner who pursues. It is about understanding the cycle, naming the deeper longing underneath the anger, and learning to ask: "Can I stay connected to myself while I wait for my partner?"
đ MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Be Connected â 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you.
One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy â a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.
Grab my first book I Didnât Sign Up for This
Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.Â
đ WANT TO GO DEEPER?
Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.Â
Build better connection and feel close starting today. â â Join theâ â â 30 Days to Us Challengeâ â â â â
Read the book: â â â You, Your Husband, and His Motherâ â â
Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions
Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here.. Â
Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle â free quiz here.
Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.
Ready to deepen your connection?â â â â â Download my 100 Questionsâ â â â â
đ˛ FOLLOW DR. TRACY
Subscribe to You Tube Â
Follow on Instagram â â â
â â â Follow on Facebook
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices