Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri – Details, episodes & analysis

This is the last episode, episode six, in Series 8 and in it I talk to UKCP registered family and systemic psychotherapist and John Cavanagh who is also a registered mental health nurse. John specialises in child and adolescent mental health.

Often children will manifest with a mental health problem that is indicative of what's going on in the family. We talk about this, what those problems might look like, why it's important to treat children as part of the family unit. John also talks us through the CAMHS system which I know some people find very difficult to navigate.

We also talk about common adolescent and child problems and how to manage them if your child comes to you with them.

Useful links we talk about in the podcast:

YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People | YoungMinds

Information for 11-18 year olds on understanding CAMHS - Mind

Stay Alive App: 'a suicide prevention app for the UK, packed full of resources, useful information, and tools to help you stay safe or help someone else'.

StayAlive - Essential suicide prevention for everyday life

CalmHarm (https://calmharm.co.uk/)

DistrACT (https://www.expertselfcare.com/health-apps/distract/)

NHS England » NHS Mental Health Apps Library to increase access to psychological therapies and help to improve mental health outcomes

www.psychotherapy.org.uk (Registered psychotherapists search by specialism or area)

www.aft.org.uk

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If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Very early on in my career as The Guardian's Agony Aunt the letters started coming in about family estrangements - the "should I cut X out of my life" style questions. Back then, cutting a family member out was anathema to me but over the years, i came to understand why some people sought it out. The thing is, cutting someone out is rarely the end of the problem. Sometimes it's only the beginning.

In this episode I talk to long-time conversationalist psychotherapist Chris Mills about why some situations become so bad that estrangement seems like the only answer - indeed is it the only answer? What it can mean and how to try to build bridges after an estrangement (maybe one not of your making) if that's what feels right.

If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.

Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.

IG: @annalisabarbieri

Links to further work: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Professor Lucy Easthope is a UK expert and advisor on emergency planning and disaster recover. A world authority on recovery and disaster planning and its aftermath. She’s Professor of Practice of Risk and Hazard at the university of Durham and a professor in Mass Fatalities at the university of Bath.

Lucy studied law at university and has a masters in disaster management and a pHD in medicine.

In 2022 Lucy published a best selling book that talks a lot about her work and a little about her life called When the Dust Settles, Searching for Hope after disaster. It’s a must read and one that I recommend to all who will listen. If anyone knows about planning it’s Lucy and in this episode we talk about how she takes her incredible experience into every day life. Can we ever plan too much? Why is planning a good idea but how we should also leave a little room for spontaneity. Perhaps. And one of the most important take aways for me - look after the planner in the family

You can find her website here: http://whatevernext.info/

Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.com

If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.

Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.

The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.

IG: @annalisabarbieri

All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Where to die? Not everyone gets that choice but you or a loved one might and that choice may be to go home from a hospice or hospital or care home, or go into one. In this sensitively handled but hugely informative episode, I talk again to Dr Kathryn Mannix, palliative care doctor and author of two excellent books: With the End in Mind and Listen. We talk about what to think about: care, equipment, environment, all things that need to be carefully considered and weighed up. When my own mother was dying and she wanted to go home, I was tortured by what to do and doing the Right Thing. Dr Kathryn Mannix held my hand through this process and lessened some of the pain. Despite the subject matter we end the episode on a really poetic, positive takeaway from Kathryn which should soothe even the most troubled of souls.

A few links we refer to and which you may find useful:

https://eol-doula.uk/

https://www.kathrynmannix.com/

Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.com

If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.

Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.

The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.

IG: @annalisabarbieri

All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not what makes a relationship real vs fantasy or made up, but the nubbins of relationships, the reality. Many people seem unprepared for what a real relationship looks and feels like, and this might be because of how they are portrayed on TV and on social media where many times it's only the polar opposites which are show: either people talking about how fantastic their relationship is or how terrible. Real relationships are quite ordinary. But what should they be like? Is it okay to argue? When do you know if your relationship has tipped from 'real' to dysfunctional or even abusive? If relationships are such hard work why do we even bother to have them?

Joanna Harrison is the author of an excellent book called Five Arguments All Couples Need To Have, but she was also a divorce lawyer in a former life, and is now a senior clinician at Tavistock Relationships and a consultant to parents and separating couples at the law firm Family Law in Partnership.

You can read more about her and her work at joannaharrison.co.uk. She's on Instagram as @joannaharrisoncoupletherapy.

Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.com

If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.

Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The in-laws, long the butt of jokes but in reality rich fodder for my Guardian mail bag. Of course, none of us think of ourselves as troublesome in-laws, but maybe we are? In this episode I talk to psychotherapist and CEO of the association for family therapy and systemic practise. Hannah has been a family and couples psychotherapist who has worked in the mental health service for thirty years. She’s also an associate professor at the university of exeter and deputy director of a clinical training department called CEDAR - clinical education development and research - that sits within the university’s psychology department.

We talk about all the usual in-law problems, work out that three things seem to underpin them and I present my own theory.

Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.com

If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.

Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.

The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.

IG: @annalisabarbieri

All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Talking about suicide is never easy, yet it's essential. In this difficult episode both Dr Stubley and I bring personal experiences to the conversation in the hope that it might facilitate your own conversations.

Dr Jo Stubley is a consultant psychiatrist in psychotherapy and leads the adult section of the trauma service at the NHS Tavistock Centre. Jo is a member of the British Psychoanalytic Society. Regular listeners will recognise that Jo is a returning conversationalist - this is our third episode together. The first one, on trauma in series one, would make a good listening companion piece to this one. 

If you have suicidal feelings help is available: https://www.papyrus-uk.org and https://www.samaritans.org

Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.com

If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.

Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.

The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.

IG: @annalisabarbieri

All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do some people find it so hard to talk about money? And whilst it's not a romantic thing to bring up it's absolutely essential if you're thinking of buying a property with someone or moving in with someone. As Chris says if it's difficult to bring up at the beginning of the relationship it's a whole lot harder to bring up at the end when things may have gone wrong.

A lot of the letters I get at the Guardian are about Wills and Will disputes and whilst it's about the money, Chris and I also look into what money can stand in for, what it represents and how it can reflect the value we put (or not) on ourselves.

If this episode has tempted you to get a financial advisor the please make sure whomever you deal with is registered with the Financial Conduct Authority https://register.fca.org.uk/s/.

Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.com

If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.

Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.

The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.

IG: @annalisabarbieri

All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sibs is a charity which supports children and adults who grow up with a brother or sister with additional needs or a long term health condition. And Linda Owen is the rather brilliant, compassionate and informed (aptly) Information Officer for Sibs.

A lot of the advice Linda gives can also be applied in a family which doesn’t have a child with these additional needs, and there’s a lot to learn here about sibling dynamics. But of course when a child does have additional needs the sibling can often get overlooked and their needs can feel - especially to them - as not important in the scheme of things. Linda talks about how to have conversations with your children, how to get support for them or for yourself. 

Note: as Linda explains we use the term sibling in this episode to denote the person who doesn’t have the additional needs, and the ones that do as brother or sister.

A good companion episode to this one, is The Secrets of the Sibling Relationship with psychotherapist Nicole Addis in Series 1.

The Sibs website: sibs.org.uk.

Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.com

If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.

Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.

The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.

IG: @annalisabarbieri

All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 1 of Series 6

A good few years ago, I started becoming aware of a term I'd hitherto not really heard much before, outside of my classics lessons: narcissism. Aside from all the s's making it hard to pronounce, I started to notice that it became a catch-all for anyone who was selfish, self centred or vain. Everyone, it seemed, was being called a narcissist. I'm not a fan of overly labelling behaviours (for one it's so lazy) and I have a natural tendency to avoid terms that everyone else is using, but eventually even I couldn't ignore it any longer. This is when I called UK registered psychotherapist Mark Vahrmeyer in. Mark is writing a book about narcissism and in this episode we talk about what it is, and what it isn't. And how just possibly everyone has some narcissistic traits occasionally, but that doesn't make them a narcissist. Someone with true narcissistic behaviours actually has a wafer-thin self esteem and is very tiring to be around. Who'd be a narcissist? But also what about poor Echo, who often gets forgotten in the tale of Narcissus, typical to air brush a woman out of history.

If you'd like to learn more about Mark and his work his website is at brightonandhovepsychotherapy.com

Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.com

If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.

Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.

The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.

IG: @annalisabarbieri

All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.