Explore every episode of the podcast Conversations We Need To Have

In this episode of Conversations We Need to Have, Andrea explores something that quietly shapes our mood, confidence, and behaviour every single day — Automatic Negative Thoughts, or as she likes to call them, ANTS. These thoughts show up uninvited. They sound convincing. And when left unchecked, they can overwhelm our emotional “picnic” — leading to anxiety, low self-esteem, and patterns of self-sabotage.

Resources Mentioned:

Healing ADD - Daniel G Amen

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Episode Title: Premature Ejaculation: Understanding, Confidence, and Control

In this episode, Andrea breaks down what premature ejaculation really is — and why it’s far more common, treatable, and understandable than most people think.

Resources:

NHS: Premature Ejaculation Guidance

The New Male Sexuality — Bernie Zilbergeld

COSRT (UK) – Psychosexual therapy directory

Sexwise UK

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In this episode, Andrea tackles one of the most common but least discussed issues in sexual health — erectile dysfunction (ED).

It’s something that affects 1 in 5 men in the UK — and no, it’s not just older men. ED can be physical, psychological, or both — and often, it’s your body’s way of saying something needs attention.

Andrea breaks down what causes ED, how to get it checked, and why it’s rarely “just in your head.” She also explores how ED can open the door to deeper intimacy, better communication, and a redefinition of what sex can be.

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In this episode of Conversations We Need To Have, we’re talking about something almost everyone does… but not everyone feels comfortable discussing.

Masturbation.

Openly. Honestly. Without shame.

This episode breaks down what masturbation actually is, the real science-backed health benefits, the myths that have been passed down for generations, and when (rarely) it might be worth seeking support.

Educational material referenced from:

The Cleveland Clinic (health blog and educational resources)

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In this episode, Andrea explores two powerful — and surprisingly complementary — tools for emotional wellbeing: the Loving Kindness meditation and the F* You exercise.**

The first helps you soften — to build compassion, warmth, and acceptance toward yourself and others.

The second helps you strengthen — to set boundaries, claim space, and protect that compassionate self you’ve worked so hard to nurture.

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In this episode, Andrea dives into one of the most personal and powerful topics in therapy — how we see ourselves.

From the moment we wake up, we’re surrounded by messages telling us what our bodies should look like, how they should perform, and what’s “good enough.”

It’s no wonder so many of us end up in battles with the mirror.

Andrea explores how self-talk, body image, and self-compassion shape not just how we feel about our bodies, but how we connect with others — emotionally, sexually, and relationally.

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In this episode, Andrea breaks down the science behind how your body keeps you safe — even before you realise it.

We’re diving into The Polyvagal Theory, a simple but powerful way to understand why you sometimes feel calm, anxious, or completely shut down for “no reason.”

Sources

Polyvagal Theory in Therapy – Deb Dana

The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory – Stephen Porges

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In this episode, Andrea explores one of the hardest — but most important — conversations couples can have: how to overcome an affair.

What counts as an affair?

Why do they happen?

And what does it really take to heal when trust has been broken?

Affairs don’t always mean the end. For some couples, they become the start of something more honest, intimate, and real.

Resource:

After the Affair — Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD

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In this episode, Andrea breaks down one of the most popular — and often misunderstood — relationship concepts: love languages.

We all give and receive love differently, yet many couples end up feeling unseen or unappreciated — not because love is missing, but because it’s being expressed in the wrong language.

Andrea explores the five love languages — and explains how understanding both your own and your partner’s preferences can dramatically improve connection, intimacy, and emotional safety.

Because love isn’t just about intention — it’s about impact.

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In this episode, Andrea breaks down the myths around lubrication — because using lube isn’t a sign of a problem, it’s a sign of confidence and care.

We cover:

• Why natural lubrication varies (and that’s normal)
• The best types of lube — and which to avoid
• How to use lube safely with toys and condoms
• Why flavoured and warming lubes can cause more harm than heat
• Why communication about comfort is the sexiest thing you can do

Because great sex isn’t just about passion — it’s about preparation.

Resources:

Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski, PhD

Sexual Health Foundation (UK)

Brook.org.uk

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In this episode of Conversations We Need To Have, Andrea explores Attachment Theory and how our earliest relationships can influence the way we connect, communicate, and cope in adult relationships.

From constantly seeking reassurance to pulling away when things feel too close, attachment patterns often show up in ways we don't immediately recognise. This episode breaks down the four main attachment styles, how they affect our relationships, and what we can do to build more secure connections.

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Safer Sex Is Still Sexy

In this episode, Andrea breaks down the myths, excuses, and outdated attitudes around condoms — and reminds us that protection is not up for negotiation.

Its important because STI rates are rising and condom use is at an all-time low.

Great sex is about communication, care, and consent — not risk.

Resources:

Sexwise UK – Condoms and Protection

Brook.org.uk – Sexual Health Education

Terrence Higgins Trust

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What Is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy. It sounds intimidating — clinical, serious, maybe even awkward.

But in reality?

It’s simply a safe, confidential space to talk about sex with a trained professional — without shame, pressure, or judgement.

In this episode of Conversations We Need To Have, Andrea breaks down what psychosexual therapy actually is, who it’s for, and what really happens in a session.

Spoiler: it’s talking — not touching.

Sex therapy is a professional, confidential talking therapy. It is educational, psychological, and relational — not physical or hands-on.

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In this opening episode, Andrea explores what we can learn from our primate cousins — bonobos and chimpanzees — and what their behaviour says about us.

Chimps represent dominance, hierarchy, and power.

Bonobos represent empathy, cooperation, and play.

So what happens when we start leading our relationships — and our conflicts — more like bonobos?

This episode sets the tone for the Conversations We Need to Have series: honest, human, sex-positive, and grounded in science and compassion.

Resources Mentioned:

Sex at Dawn – Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jethá

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Hi, I’m Andrea — a licensed professional counsellor specialising in relationship and psychosexual therapy.

Before we dive in, there are a few important things I need you to know.

I don’t know you personally, which means I’m not your therapist.

Everything I share here is general information, not individual advice.

I’m a licensed therapist — but I only provide therapy to my lovely clients here in Surrey, and across the UK online, who’ve completed the proper consent process.

So, please enjoy my content for what it is — thoughtful conversation, research-based insights, and hopefully a few “aha” moments about sex and relationships.

But if something really resonates and you’d like personalised support, reach out to a licensed professional who can tailor advice to you.

A quick heads-up — I talk about sex, bodies, desire, and real human stuff, so you might occasionally hear a swear word or explicit language.

It’s never for shock value — just part of honest, grown-up conversation.

And finally, you’ll hear me use a mix of pronouns when I speak — because pleasure, intimacy, and love belong to everyone, regardless of gender or identity.

So, take what fits, leave what doesn’t, and remember — this space is for learning, not for labelling.

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