Circling the Drain – Details, episodes & analysis

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It's the very first episode of our brand new podcast, Open Up and Say HA!: Stories from Underneath the Paper Gown.

Have you ever had a bizarre encounter with a medical practitioner? An ER visit gone awry? A weird thing you found on your foot that turned out to be a rare species of parasitic insect? Welcome to Open Up and Say Ha! - Stories from Underneath the Paper Gown. Medical mishaps, misunderstandings, weird bodily functions... our guests are sharing it all. So get ready to laugh so hard you snort your coffee out of your nose, and if you happen to singe your nostrils, head to the doctor and tell us what went down. If laughter is your medicine, open up and say HA!

In this episode, co-hosts Ellie and Julia decide to save the guests' experiences for future episodes and instead, share their own bizarre medical encounters with each other. Even though they have been friends for 30 years, they each manage to tell a story that the other has never heard! If you've ever had inexplicable back pain or eaten mysteriously spicy tuna, this one is for you.

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Monique Cupid and Dixie Lincoln-Nichols are menopausal women who met up during the pandemic to talk about work for a project. Without fail, at every weekly meeting, the conversation drifted to menopause, the symptoms each of them was experiencing, and the frustrations they felt about the lack of support, resources, equity, and community. Together, they formed Life in the Pause, with the mission of transforming the menopause journey into an empowered and celebrated experience through accessible education, resources, and community support. We talk about everything from toxicants in beauty products to doctors leaving 30-something women in the dark to the importance of dance breaks. You know how it is when we get together with two brilliant and fascinating humans... nothing is off limits. We won't apologize for talking about our farts and our pubes. We simply won't.

Topics and timestamps
10:50 - How Life in the Pause was born
16:45 - What is a Self-Care Sabbatical?
21:48 - Increasing 30-somethings' awareness of perimenopause
28:15 - The importance of clean ingredients in beauty products
40:40 - Menopause. Needs. More. Attention.

Handles and sites
Life in the Pause   
Life in the Pause Insta
Brown Skin Green Beauty Insta   
Dixie Lincoln-Nichols  
Dixie Lincoln Nichols Insta
The Pause Pod
The Midlife Glowchaser
Dance Break Song: Ready Fi Di Road

OUR NEW PODCAST: OPEN UP AND SAY HA!
Follow us on Insta @openupandsayha
or Facebook
and YouTube Channel
Podcast site

Other Podcasts on the Topic of Peri/Menopause
The Pause Pod
Hello Menopause
A Certain Age Pod
Black Girl's Guide to Surviving Menopause

Other Links

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Dr. Kimberly Mangla is a reproductive psychiatrist who works collaboratively with the obstetrics department at Mt. Sinai Hospital in NYC. She is involved in the teaching and supervision of psychotherapy and medication management during pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause. She also happens treat Julia's Adult ADHD, and in honor of ADHD Awareness Month, we asked her ALL of the questions. What is ADHD, and why do many women not discover this diagnosis until adulthood? How can someone have ADHD and be high-functioning and laser-focused all at once? What is the intersection between ADHD and perimenopause? When is it time to take medication to help treat it? Does Ellie have ADHD or is she merely addicted to the apps on her phone? We also talk about crunchy knees, forgetting to shower and brush teeth, and pharmacies that carry an expensive array of vibrators.

Topics and timestamps
14:00 Combining an OB/GYN education with psychiatry
17:25 Explaining the need for and lack of reproductive endocrinologists
20:40 Defining ADHD and what it looks like in children vs. adults
25:35 How can you have ADHD and be laser-focused at the same time?
32:04 What is "executive function"?
41:00 When to explore pharmaceutical intervention for ADHD
43:49 How perimenopause intersects with adult ADHD

Handles and sites
Dr. Mangla's Practice
Dr. Mangla's Insta
Dr. Mangla's Handbag Insta

List of Resources Mentioned
Knee Noise: Crepitus and Popping Explained
Adult ADHD

Other Links
Erin's Faces Affiliate Link
Julia G Wellness

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Dr. Maria Uloko is fired up, and we are right there with her. As the first ever Black female Urology student at her university, she has been trailblazing for the entirety of her career. Dr. Uloko specializes in comprehensive sexual health which includes the medical and surgical management of ALL genders. She is considered a world leader in chronic pelvic pain and vulvar conditions, she believes in empowering her patients to take ownership of their sexual health by providing a shame-free space to ask questions and share their stories, and she seeks to close gaps in disparities of care and implement systems that promote diversity and inclusivity. She is also an international award winning researcher with a focus in vulvar health, most notably her research in defining how many nerves are in the human clitoris. (Can you believe that this number was not known until recently, when she and her colleagues embarked on a study?) She told us that the anatomy of the vulva is not taught in medical school, even to gynecologists, and that this lack of knowledge and adequate care is equivalent to malpractice against those with female anatomy. She wants to start a revolution to correct all of this nonsense, and we have pledged to be her soldiers. We will march to the beat of Beyonce, and we will eat a cake in the shape of Queen Bey while we do so.

Topics and timestamps
13:25 - Becoming a female urologist after being told she couldn't do it
18:35 - Providing gender-affirming care to people with every type of genitalia
20:58 - Taking charge of your own sexual health
26:17 - Pain is not acceptable. Women do not have to live with pain.
36:45 - Libido and orgasm: the two most complex portions of the sexual response cycle
42:54 - Discovering the number of nerves in the clitoris

Handles and sites
Dr. Uloko's Website
Dr. Uloko's Insta
Meet the Trailblazing Urologists on a Mission to Help Women Have Better Sex


List of Resources Mentioned
Is Menopause Changing My Hair?
Prevalence of female pattern hair loss in postmenopausal women: a cross-sectional study
How many nerve fibers innervate the human glans clitoris: a histomorphometric evaluation of the dorsal nerve of the clitoris

Other Links
Erin's Faces Affiliate Link
Julia G Wellness
https://circlingthedrainpodcast.buzzsprout.com/

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Rachel E. Gross is an award-winning science journalist who wrote an incredible book called Vagina Obscura which was a finalist for the 2023 Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence in Nonfiction. Go ahead and be impressed, but do not be intimidated. Rachel will enthrall you with stories of outlandish treatments for ailments that plague people with female reproductive systems, including a personal tale involving rat poison and her own vagina. She takes us back through history to when the fallopian tubes were named after an Italian Catholic priest and when Freud decided that all "women's issues" were psychological. She discusses how medical terminology can be harmful, placing blame on the woman or the body part itself. If that's not enough to draw you in, listen as we realize that both Ellie and Julia know a ton about bacterial vaginosis, and in a delightful epiphany, Ellie gives the perfect name to the wall of vagina-inspired art in Rachel's home. Bonus points if you count the number of times "vagina" is said in this episode.

Topics and timestamps
10:40 - How Rachel got into writing about science, specifically the science of vaginas
18:02 - The Vagina Poison Story
24:37 - The microbiome of the vagina
30:57 - How medical language puts the blame on the body part (#incompetentcervix)
38:50 - Ancient ideas that have been carried through to modern medicine
43:46 - Thoughts on implanting bits of ovarian tissue to stave off menopause

Handles and sites
Rachel's website
Rachel's writing
Rachel's Insta
Buy Vagina Obscura

List of Resources Mentioned
Pooping only every 3 or more days linked with cognitive decline, research finds
Rachel telling her vagina rat poison story on Story Collider
Doing Harm by Maya Dusenbery

Other Links
Erin's Faces Affiliate Link
Julia G Wellness
Leave us a review!

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Leoh Blooms is a queer, fluid, and nonbinary-trans trauma-informed mentor and Pro Dom. Everything they do in their practice focuses on intimacy, mental health, gender, sex, and practical self-care. They help clients aged 21 and up to create lives they don't need to hide from by offering various levels of support in a power dynamic format, using kink for fun and as a healing modality. Listen to Leoh talk about coming out at the age of 45, jumping through medical hoops when a gender fluid person needs medical care, and explain what a Pro Dom actually IS and DOES. In response, Ellie talks about working in an office located upstairs from an old-school dominatrix, and Julia explores the idea of using a rope-tying technique for self-soothing. This was not our usual rodeo, and we liked it. We think you will, too.

Topics and timestamps
11:30 - Instant menopause after a radical hysterectomy
13:57 - Justifying the medical need for Testosterone as a non-transitioning person
19:25 - Coming out at the age of 45 to a family that includes a husband and five children
27:47 - What it means to work as a Pro-Dom
40:27 - Steps the medical community should take to help gender fluid people
43:33 - Celebrating a non-monogamous marriage commitment

Handles and sites
Leoh's website
Leoh's Insta

List of Resources Mentioned
FDA Approves First Nonprescription Daily Oral Contraceptive - Opill
Adenomyosis
Discovering Gender Fluidity: A Late Bloomer’s Journey to Self-Acceptance
Chrononormativity by Leoh Blooms

Other Links
For 10% off Erin's Faces in the month of August, enter CTD at checkout
Schedule a FREE Zoom with Julia at Julia G Wellness

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Dr. Wendy Suzuki is a professor of Neural Science and Psychology and author of two incredible books, Good Anxiety and Healthy Brain, Happy Life. Her TED talk, The Brain-Changing Benefits of Exercise, has more than 60 million views, making it the 2nd most viewed TED talk of 2018. In spite of our awe, we managed to pick her fancy brain about many things, like how hormonal changes can lead to increased anxiety, tips for building resilience and staying motivated to exercise, and what to do about "choking" (AKA brain farts or derping). She told us all about her concept of "micro flow", causing us to envision a tiny Flo from the Progressive commercials sitting on our shoulders. This is why she is the Dean of the College of Arts and Science at NYU and we are not! We also talk about Ellie going braless for the summer and Julia rubbing emu oil on her skin. If you think the latter is problematic, remember Julia's words: "The emu is already dead at this point."

Topics and timestamps
14:00 - The transformative effects that exercise has on the brain
21:56 - How hormonal changes can lead to increased anxiety
27:46 - Building resilience
34:26 - Tips for staying motivated to exercise
40:10 - What to do about "choking" AKA brain farts
49:09 - Flow vs. Microflow

Handles and sites
Dr. Suzuki's Website
Good Anxiety by Dr. Suzuki
Healthy Brain, Happy Life by Dr. Suzuki
Dr. Suzuki's Insta
Dr. Suzuki's facebook

List of Resources Mentioned
Three Vaccines for Fall: What You Need to Know
Dr. Suzuki's TED Talk: The brain-changing benefits of exercise
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's TED Talk: Flow, the secret to happiness
The Other 50% Podcast
For 10% off Erin's Faces in the month of August, enter CTD at checkout

Other Links
Julia G Wellness - book a free Zoom with Julia today!
https://circlingthedrainpodcast.buzzsprout.com/

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Dr. Aiesha Turman does so many things and she does them with JOY. She is the kind of teacher that students keep in touch with for the rest of their lives, which is a rare and special thing. We totally get the appeal, because we had the best time talking to her about Reiki, Afrofuturism, literature, her work on the incredible award-winning documentary Crip Camp, and the differences AND similarities between the hormonal transitions of her mother, her daughter, and herself. You'll also get to hear about Ellie graduating from her therapist, the time Julia sharted the bed, and how strangers need to mind their own business and not offer random opinions to people they know nothing about. So much good stuff, PLUS a discount code for listeners who want to try Reiki with Dr. Turman. (You want to try it. Trust us.)

Topics and timestamps
16:35 - What is Reiki and how can it help?
23:00 - How Dr. Turman hazed her mom during HER menopause
28:20 - The importance of intergenerational conversation about menopause
36:19 - What is Afrofuturism? Dr. Turman explains.
44:35 - Discussing with puberty with her mother and her daughter
52:44 - Dr. Turman's work on the documentary Crip Camp

Handles and sites
Dr. Turman's Website
For 15% off Reiki with Dr. Turman, enter code CIRCLING at checkout
Electric Relaxation Substack
Dr. Turman's Insta
Dr. Turman's facebook

List of Resources Mentioned
Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler
My Awesome Black Queer Mom by Aiesha Turman
Crip Camp
The Crip Camp Educational Curriculum
The Other 50% Podcast
For 10% off Erin's Faces in the month of August, enter CTD at checkout

Other Links
Erin's Faces Affiliate Link
Julia G Wellness
We were ranked in the "60 Best Menopause Podcasts"!

https://circlingthedrainpodcast.buzzsprout.com/
Leave us a review!

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Singlehood is not a broken state that requires fixing. This is the core message of our guest, Shani Silver, who deleted her dating apps in 2019 and has been infinitely happier ever since. Shani reminds us that dating apps are a for-profit industry that stand to benefit from keeping you single rather than helping you find love, and they often deplete your self worth and mental health. Author of the fantastic book A Single Revolution: Don't Look for a Match. Light One. and host of A Single Serving Podcast, Shani firmly believes that you can enjoy your life as a single human while still hoping for a partnership. But this episode is not just for the singles out there! Shani helps people in couples reframe how they view their single friends and family members, and as a result of reading her book, we have personally stopped asking questions like "How's dating life?" or "Can I please fix you up with someone?" Shani offers zero apologies for living her life exactly as she wants to, and we offer zero apologies for Ellie's graphic colonoscopy story and Julia's description of her nuclear meltdown. Love us as we are or don't love us at all, but do listen to the episode and share it with your people.

Topics and timestamps
15:05 - Shani tells us the wildest thing a doctor ever said to her
15:05 - Shani tells us the wildest thing a doctor ever said to her.
17:49 - Dating apps are a for-profit industry. Here's why you should delete them.
22:30 - How to maintain your self-worth and dignity in a society that shames singles.
28:44 - How to reframe your mindset about the hell-scape that is dating.
34:00 - Dispelling the notion that your life isn't real until you have a partner.
47:45 - A person can embrace their single-hood while hoping for a partner.

Handles and sites
Shani's website
Shani's show: A Single Serving Podcast
Buy Shani's book: A Single Revolution: Don't look for a match. Light one.
Shani's Insta
Shani's TikTok

List of Resources Mentioned
Tubal Ligation No Better Than IUD at Preventing Pregnancy
The Mob Should Run Planned Parenthood
Why Many Single Women Without Children Are So Happy
The Other 50% Podcast

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Have you ever heard of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) also known as "Tapping"? Sarah Louise Lilley became an EFT Practitioner after her husband's stroke, and she is here to tell us more about that life-changing day, to explain EFT, and dispel any misconceptions you might have about it. If you're looking for a simple tool that can help reframe negative mindsets, help you calm yourself in a moment of distress, and help you cope with frustration over your newfound peri-menopausal symptoms, this episode is for you. We also touch on the unusual theatrical experience where Sarah and Ellie met, Sarah and Julia's love of horses, and a beloved British condiment that you may not have heard of, but which would make a great name for a stallion.

Topics and timestamps
11:36 - Sarah tells the story of the life-altering day when her husband had a stroke on Christmas
19:55 - What exactly IS EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or "Tapping"?
25:00 - How EFT can help release mental blocks
31:51 - How to combat frustration using EFT
43:32 - EFT is not a "woowoo" trend and here's why

Handles and sites
Sarah's website
Sarah's Insta

List of Resources Mentioned
The Other 50% Podcast
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
Dawson Church
Dr. Peta Stapleton
Forbes article on EFT

Other Links
Erin's Faces Affiliate Link
Julia G Wellness

Support the show

Be one of the helpers! SUBSCRIBE to this podcast on APPLE PODCASTS or SPOTIFY and leave us a review on APPLE PODCASTS.