Explore every episode of the podcast Childless not by Choice
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Episode 166--My Conversation with Jody Day! | 22 Aug 2024 | 00:46:26 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 166 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? My Interview with Jody Day. Update time!
Intro: JODY DAY is the English/Irish founder of Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women, and is often described as the founder of the ‘childless movement’. An author, two-times TEDx speaker, thought leader and psychotherapist, she’s known for her best-selling Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children (PanMac 2016/2020) and increasingly for her popular Substack, ‘Gateway Elderwomen’ which explores the adventure of elderhood without motherhood.
Jody’s been a World Childless Week Ambassador since its inception in 2017, and was chosen as one of the BBC’s 100 Women in 2013 & as a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She was also a founding and former board member at the UK Charity Ageing Without Children, and is a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School. After a lifetime in London, she now lives by the sea in West Cork, rural Ireland, where she’s working on a novel (featuring a childless heroine of course!) and developing her Gateway Elderwomen project. She is managed by a small white terrier called Parsnip.
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Christine Erickson’s New Legacy Institute Gateway Woman is now The Childless Collective Mutual aid projects
Articles/links of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/
https://gateway-women.com/living-the-life-unexpected-2nd-edition-world-blogtour-1-19th-march-2020/
Special thank you to: Jody Day, Founder of Gateway Women
Jody Day’s Contact Info:
website: www.gateway-women.com substack: https://jodyday.substack.com/ instagram @gatewaywomen & @apprenticecrone free download of intro & chapter 1 of Jody's book: bit.ly/free-ltlu
FYI: Spotify now allows podcasters the ability to respond to listener comments. My contact information: | |||
| Episode 165-Our Nine Year Podcastiversary! | 31 Jul 2024 | 00:16:57 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 165 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? My Nine Year Podcastiversary!
Thank you Patreon contributors: I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you still need to become a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Articles/links of interest: https://abcnews.go.com/US/vance-argued-higher-tax-rate-childless-americans-2021/story?id=112284318
All of you!
My contact information:
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life.’
| |||
| Episode 156--Grief…Again, Hiatus, Love, Loss | 01 Oct 2023 | 00:07:47 | |
Intro: Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Grief…Again, Hiatus, Love, Loss
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
My contact information: | |||
| Episode 155--My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week | 05 Sep 2023 | 00:33:43 | |
Intro: Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Stephanie spent a large part of her twenties in an abusive relationship and took the contraceptive pill to ensure children would not be born into that situation. In her early thirties, she met her husband-to-be but they didn't try to conceive until nearing forty. At the age of 39, she was told by an unsympathetic doctor "If he manages to get you pregnant it is highly unlikely you'll carry the full term". She knew at that moment, she would never be a mum. In 2016 Stephanie Joy Phillips founded three childless support groups on Facebook: Childless Path To Acceptance focuses on support, Childless Chit Chat is a trigger-free zone, and Childless Perks!! is all about laughter and finding the positives of being childless, without a parent saying 'I told you so'. In 2017 after realising there was no national recognition of the childless community she founded World Childless Week. Seven days that enables the childless community to have a platform where they can find their voice and share their stories with confidence. Steph lives in Worcestershire with her husband and two rescue cats, Storm and Tea-Cup. She enjoys gardening, arts and crafts, a good book, dining out, and relaxing in front of the television with a puzzle book and one of her two cats snuggled up beside her".
Her website:
Articles/links of interest: Inclusive Libraries Project: https://worldchildlessweek.net/inclusive-libraries-project
Inclusion of WCW in employer calendar: https://worldchildlessweek.net/employer-calendar
My contact information:
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Survey:
| |||
| Let Me Catch You Up! | 29 Aug 2023 | 00:11:45 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 154 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today’s show about? Let Me Catch You Up
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Special thank you to: You, the Childless not by Choice Podcast Listener.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Survey:
Civilla M. Morgan
| |||
| Episode 153--My Eight Year Podcastiversary--Milestones and Lemonade | 01 Aug 2023 | 00:26:04 | |
Intro: Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
Welcome to my eight-year podcastiversary! What is today’s show about? My Eight-Year Podcastiversary!
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to say a special thank you to the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Some of you have been donating/giving/contributing, for years! Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Before we get started though, I want to give a heads-up to those who listen to the Childless not by Choice podcast on the Stitcher Podcatcher app. Unfortunately, Stitcher is going away effective August 29, 2023. They say you may listen on their sister app Pandora. Many of you may know Pandora as a music app which it is, but Pandora started hosting podcasts a few years ago. If you use the Stitcher app, there are instructions in the app on how to export your shows so you don’t have to go one by one searching from them in another Podcatcher app.
And as I always say, the Childless not by Choice podcast can be found on just about any podcatcher app including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Himalaya, Bullhorn, Google Podcast, you name it, the podcast is there! Of course, if you have any questions about how to listen to the podcast, reach out in the Childless not by Choice Facebook Group, email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com, or Message me on social.
So, I want to talk to you for a few minutes about Milestones and Lemonade!
PIVOT
Special thank you to: Everyone who listens to the podcast!
| |||
| Episode 152--Father's Day, Again | 18 Jun 2023 | 00:49:32 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 152 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Father’s Day
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode: It may be a little ironic, or maybe not, but I have not created a fresh June episode because I am caring for my dad. Many of you have heard bits and pieces in previous episodes, that I am his primary caregiver. And it is an honor. The last few months, as in since about the end of February, he has battled on through multiple medical issues. And I have battled to advocate for him. Unfortunately, advocating feels like an uphill battle. It sometimes feels like the medical community wants to dictate how I should not care for my father because they know best, even if they just see him as another elderly person. There were several times when I thought ‘This is it, he’s not going to make it.’ But he continues to be with us. I cherish and thank God for every single day, every minute, I get with him. Being a caregiver who works, means that I am on the run from the moment my eyes open in the morning, until bedtime. I do my very best to get at least seven hours, otherwise, there would just be no way to maintain my schedule. No. Way. Bottom line, sleep keeps me from falling apart. I want to thank you for your patience as I navigate my life as it currently is, and my podcasting schedule. Not to pat myself on the back, but because I do take this podcast so seriously, the research, the guests, the everything; being able to go back and ask you to listen to a previous episode, which is what I am asking you to do this month; does not feel like a cop-out. I have had the great privilege of having fabulous guests throughout the life of this podcast. The episode 143 guest, Dr. Robin Hadley, is no different. Episode 143 first aired in August of 2022. Please take a listen. Thank you!
Articles/links of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/
Dr. Robin Hadley
My contact information: ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 151--Without an Anchor on Mother's Day | 07 May 2023 | 00:28:30 | |
Without an Anchor on Mother's Day
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Mother’s Day and Childlessness But first: Are you following the Childless not by Choice podcast? This podcast, my podcast? It’s really easy to do and costs nothing. Simply go to Apple podcast, search for Childless not by Choice podcast, and follow. As soon as a new episode comes out, you are notified. As a follower, you get the new episode about a week before I start promoting it on social media. Also, if you are a patron of the show, meaning you make a financial contribution to the show, more on that in a second, you get to be in the know first, whenever something new is happening!
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode: This is year four since my mom left this world. I hear tell year three is the worst year of grieving a loss. Does that make year four and beyond, are more manageable? Maybe, but one of the important lessons I learned along the grieving journey, is that people grieve differently. I’m glad I learned that early because I would have been upset at certain people that did not seem to grieve the way I was grieving. I also realized that my grief wasn’t necessarily more important, it was just different. And different can happen for many reasons. It can happen if you were the last person to see that person alive, or you were the primary caregiver. It does not mean that the people who were not there or who were not the primary caregiver are not grieving. It just means that people will grieve differently. That, again, was a very, very important lesson to learn, because I know I would have been upset if I did not get that understanding early. So, does year four and beyond bring lesser grief? I don’t think so. I think grief just becomes more manageable with time. That’s it. I find that I smile more when talking about my mom now. I was told that would happen, but I did not believe it! My mom had jokes. She loved to laugh. I am convinced she would have loved Tik Tok. I’ve mentioned this in the past, but she even got jokes out of the evening news. Go figure! Sometimes I think about the jokes she told over and over, about her childhood. There are inside jokes I will take with me to my grave. There are things she made me promise not to tell. Mostly benign things to be honest. But I will honor her memory by keeping my promises to her. No matter how young or old you are when you lose your mother, it doesn’t matter, in my opinion. Your mother is your anchor. When you lose her, you lose your anchor, at least temporarily. That was something else I learned early in my grief journey. I couldn’t figure out the feeling I had. I felt lost, and it was scary. Then someone mentioned that she felt anchorless after losing her mother. I remembered thinking, ‘That’s it! That’s the feeling I had, but did not understand.’ It’s so important, at least for me, to listen to other people’s grief journey. It doesn’t mean mine will be the exact journey, it just means I can glean something, and I have. A lot. I have heard some women say things like ‘It’s been 20 years since I lost my mom, and I still miss her so much!’ I was like What?! I can’t feel like this for 20 years! But now, four years in, I realize what they mean. It’s still early days for me, but I can see how you can miss someone forever but still be able to manage life even as you manage loss. If you do not or did not get along with your mother, if she did not care for you like a mother should, or the way you needed her to, I believe you can feel anchorless as well. I believe it is definitely a type of loss. And I’m sorry for your loss. I hope and pray for you, a peace that passes all understanding as you continue on your life’s journey.
I think maybe yes. For me, off and on I’ve felt a little off-kilter because there is no one to look back to for guidance, comfort, or commiseration, which is what I got from my mom. And no one to look forward to, in a child, to see what’s going on in the next generation. The only real connection I have to the next generation would be the young people in my life, mainly my nephews. I get a little snippet of what the next generation is dealing with, managing, and experiencing, by watching little snippets of their lives. I’m a little out of touch with the current music and other trends because, I believe, I don’t have kids. Although honestly, I don’t think anything beats 80’s music! If you have younger nieces and nephews whose lives you are allowed/able to be a part of, create a relationship with them. It’s easier when they are younger of course, but no matter when it is, start if you haven't already, make a genuine attempt. Even if it’s a card every once in a while, a gift card to their favorite place on their birthday, going to a game when you can, you know. Something that shows them you care. You can do all of that without being pushy. Let me know how it works, or if you need any tips. I am so honored to be a part of my nephew's lives. I hope you can have the same or similar experiences. Well, before I leave you, let me give you some reminders:
Do you recall from episode 150 where I mentioned that most childless not by choice listeners probably have had or will have some type of surgery? Well, I asked the question in the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook page, and I got a number of responses! Feel free to email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com Messenger me on Facebook or Instagram, and let me know. I will keep the poll open for a while longer, and share the statistics on a later episode. You all know I love statistics!
#youdonthaveto
Special thank you to: ‘Mareshah Miller, for this quote: ‘Mothers in disguise are called aunts.’
My contact information:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 150-What Manner of Scar Tissue Mayhem is This! | 18 Apr 2023 | 00:24:43 | |
Intro: Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Scar Tissue
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
So, on March 3rd I found myself in the worst belly pain I have ever had. The pain felt very similar to a pain I had the year before, but the pain had gone away by the next day. This time, it wasn’t going away. By the next day, I made the decision to go to the emergency room. I told them what was going on with this immense pain in my stomach, and they took an MRI of my belly. The test results came back: partially blocked intestines. I was like what?! What does that even mean? It turns out that what was causing the partial blockage was scar tissue. I asked then scar tissue from what!? My last surgery for anything was in 2011! I was told it did not matter how long ago the surgery was, scar tissue can come back to haunt you at any time. The whole thing sounded out of this world. Unbelievable. For a fleeting moment, I thought about how all those surgeries I had for a decade, as I tried to buy time. Should I have had the hysterectomy earlier? I should have skipped all of the myomectomies. But the fact is looking back is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. I guess the medical staff was used to this because immediately they gave me a concoction to coat my stomach and quell the pain. They also offered some very strong pain medication, but I declined it as I wanted to be alert and aware. I had gone to the emergency room alone, and my dad had recently been put into rehab. I wanted to be coherent for any possible phone call from the rehab center as he had been there less than a week.
So, according to Statista, a statistics company, 15.4% of women over 50 are childless. Why am I mentioning this, because well, I’m, um, a certain age? Ok, I’m in that age group. OK, but I’m talking about this because as I mentioned earlier when I got the MRI results that I had a partially blocked intestines, the first things that started to come to my mind were ‘I should have had the hysterectomy earlier’, ‘I should not have waited an entire decade’, ‘why did I try to buy time?’ All of these questions! Until I made myself stop! Questioning, second-guessing, none of that would change anything now.
I have an article on the website www.childlessnotbychoice.net about post-operation behavior to help you heal better and avoid scar tissue. Link in the show notes I knew that avoiding scar tissue was and is very important. I thought I had done everything I could to avoid scar tissue, but I guess not!
I was told that this type of issue, pain, is typically brought on by stress. And yes, I have been under a lot of stress the last few months. I have been trying to figure out how stress could bring this on. This isn’t my first bout with stress since my last surgery in 2011. But maybe it is a combination of high stress and just plain getting older.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/
Special thank you to: The hospital staff that cared for me during my four-day stay.
My contact information:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
| |||
| Episode 149--Celebrating Women's History Month | 27 Mar 2023 | 00:17:26 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 149 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? International Women’s Month NOTE: I called it International Women’s History Month on the podcast. That’s OK, right?
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode: So March is International Women’s History Month. There is so much that can be said about how far we as women have come, and how far we have yet to go. I guess it is like any other so-called minority. There is yet work to be done. And we cannot afford to rest. But we can stop to celebrate every once in a while. Celebration gives us hope for the future, highlights those who have come before us, and those we see as the future. I thought about highlighting women who have worked to make life better for all women whether nationally here in the US, or internationally. Either way, their work helps us in every corner of the globe. But I’ve done that. It took two episodes to do it too. That’s how many fabulous childless not by choice women there have been, and are. The links are in the show notes for episodes 78 and 79–Childless not by Choice Women Who Changed The World! But there are two women I have watched and admired for years, and who honestly, let me put the word out, I would love on my podcast! I have admired them for their class and grace in the face of a world that can be really harsh toward women who never had children. And may I remind you, I talk about the childless not by choice. That is what this podcast has always been about, but if a woman decides she would rather not have children, it is not society’s business. It is her business. Why can’t we mind our own business? Calling a woman a crazy cat lady because she never had children, says more about the name-caller than it does about the woman. I mean, we don’t typically get to know the real reason a woman never had children unless you listen to a podcast like mine. And I doubt name-callers have the time to actually do the research before calling people names and deriding them. Us.
Anyway:
Tracee Ellis Ross is the daughter of Legend Diana Ross. She recently talked about not having children, and about going through perimenopause, saying 'I Can Feel My Body's Ability To Make A Child Draining Out Of Me’. Woah! Never thought about it quite like that before! She never married, so I feel like I have at least two things in common with this legend in her own right. There is a link in the show notes with the entire article. There are actually two links in the show notes with content about Tracee Ellis Ross. Please check them out. No one escapes the joys and sadnessess of life, and I’m sure she has her moments, but I love the way she shows up and does life with positivity, poise, and charm, no matter what.
https://www.essence.com/lifestyle/tracee-ellis-ross-perimenopause/
In a February 2023 Marie Claire article, Jennifer Anniston talked about the way she used to feel about the rumor mongers and naysayers who knew nothing about her personal life, saying “I used to take it all very personally — the pregnancy rumors and the whole 'Oh, she chose career over kids' assumption,” she told the publication. “It’s like, ‘You have no clue what’s going with me personally, medically, why I can’t … can I have kids?’ They don’t know anything, and it was really hurtful and just nasty.” We really need to lift each other up as women and keep in mind that everyone has a story. And furthermore, we do not know everyone’s story. How could we? It always amazes me how absolute strangers believe they have the right to voice an opinion about another person’s life. The link is in the show notes for the full article. Please check that out as well! https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment
You are worthy. You are valued. You are here for a reason. Happy International Women’s month! There are lots of research links in the show notes for this episode. One in particular that I found interesting because they discuss childlessness, childfree-ness, singleness, single and childess. I mean they discussed all the angles of childlessness. Check it out!
Research links:
https://womenshistorymonth.gov/
https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/womens-history-month/womens-history-month-history/
https://ifstudies.org/blog/1-in-4-projecting-childlessness-among-todays-young-women
Podcast links mentioned in the episode:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-78-11-childless-not-choice-women-changed-world-part-one/
https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment
Special thank you to: All the women in the world!
My contact information: | |||
| Episode 148--Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat! | 20 Feb 2023 | 00:24:53 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 148 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat!
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode: I begged, plead, and bargained with God for a family. I wanted at least one kid, a boy. It was always a boy. I even had a name picked out. You know, it is important not to tell people your business. It was so long ago so I don’t know I don’t know why I mentioned the name out loud, but one day I did. The first time I heard the name I felt an instant connection. I started researching the meaning, the definition and found it quite fitting for all I had been going through. The tons of fibroids, all of the myomectomies, the crying myself to sleep. The name reaps up painful memories of a challenging part of my journey. Someone named one of her children that very name. It broke my heart. Honestly, I kinda felt somewhere deep down at that time, that I would not be having a child. But there was still a tiny window of hope. If that makes sense. I worked at a certain company years ago where I recall all the young moms planning day trips to child-friendly locales. I wasn’t jealous, I thought it was beautiful. It was their way of getting their little people out of the house and getting themselves out of the house as well. All of these young women got along, so they wanted their kids to get along. Nothing wrong with that. But of course, I remained silent. I had nothing to contribute, even to say what a beautiful idea, could possibly make me a target. I remained stoic, staring at my computer, as they all buzzed around me making their plans. I know some of you are in that part of the journey right now. And all I can tell you, as trite as it may sound, ‘this too shall pass’. It really will. And the other thing I will tell you is don’t pretend. Yes, it’s OK to smile through your day if that’s what you do, but please go to therapy. At that point in my life, I had not gone to therapy yet. In fact, it was just before I went. Please go to therapy. Do nice things for yourself as often as you can during this time. Go to the beach, go to your favorite coffee shop, your favorite museum, or whatever makes you happy. And tell yourself every day, that you are worthy. You are not a second-class citizen. You are here for a reason. Remind yourself of all the good things about you, and work on whatever you need to work on to make yourself an even better human. That’s for you to know and to work on. I am no longer dealing with children issues, I guess it’s grandchildren issues now. I mean it is never going to end, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is to belong to Community, the childless not by choice community. It has grown so much over the last few years. There is a place for you no matter where in the world you are.
That boy’s name. I won’t mention it. Maybe one day I will. But not today. It is a powerful name. You may try to figure it out. Be my guest. Hint: It’s not a person’s name, but it could be. You know, I can say that my childless not by choice experience is based on this name. I got nothing out of my life that I expected or wanted. The life I wanted, expected, was somehow sacrificed. Yes, the name is very fitting. I had to make the decision to push through. To not be bitter. To decide not to be bitter. It is an actual choice, a decision. It doesn’t just happen. If you don’t make the decision, the results of life will make the decisions for you. And life’s choices, and decisions, are not usually good. We have to literally wash the lemons, cut them up, squeeze them into cold water, with some vanilla or lemon essence, and some sugar. YOu have to literally make the lemonade. Make the best of the life you have been given. Before I let you go, I want to read this poem to you. I was searching for a notebook to take notes for a course I am taking. Knowing me I figured I had to have an unused notebook somewhere. I happily found the notebook I needed, and there was a folded piece of paper sticking out. It’s dated June of 2004.
Research links: 2004 poem I wrote and just found on the back of a notebook on Sunday, January 15, 2023: I don’t care how light or dark my baby is, I just want a baby. I just want him to be healthy. ‘Ten fingers, ten toes, two feet, two hands, and a nose! Two eyes, two ears; if it's a girl, enough hair for her bows. Dimples on her cheeks like grandma, or a dimple in the chin like me and grandpa. Kicking around when she has a pamper change, rolling over which starts her independence stage. A girly girl, or a boy full of energy; either one, it does not matter to me. I’ll take one of each at the same time, that would be a sight to see. Everyone loves twins you see, especially me! –Civilla (June 2004).
Episode quotes: ‘Do the best you can with what’s left of your heart.’-Civilla 'The journey does not end, the terrain changes.'-Civilla https://www.yicaiglobal.com/news/one-tenth-of-chinese-women-are-childless-up-from-6-cpdrc-says
| |||
| Episode 147--Race, Gender, (in) Equality, and Childlessness, my Conversation with Yvonne John | 17 Jan 2023 | 01:06:44 | |
Intro: Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today’s show about? My conversation with Yvonne John–Author of Dreaming of a Life Unlived, Speaker, and advocate for the Childless not by Choice community.
But first…
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Today’s guest has visited us before. Tune into episode 103, link in the show notes to hear our first conversation. I Invited her back because she has done quite a bit since our last conversation. Check out her website, www.findingmyplanb.com, to see what I mean. And we will be talking about some of the things today. I can’t wait. Hi Yvonne… Talk about the blogs on The Agojie People portrayed in The Woman King and the blog on Annie Turnbo Malone. I actually went straight to the Annie Turnbo Malone post because, well there is a lot of history, most of it negative, unfortunately, about black hair. I did not know she developed and patented the straightening comb! Your blogs are very informative Yvonne! Before we get started, can you tell us about the photo project you were a part of, and if there is a link or website we can go to?
Tell us about your role or contribution to The Gateway Women’s Reignite weekend workshops. And you are training to be a therapist. Do you have a certain topic in mind will it be geared to childless not by choice? And Ted (Talk) tell us about Ted now that you’ve put the word out. I'll also be taking part in the WhittyGordon Projects 'Edge Of Visibility' Film - The film is about changing the narrative about women over 50 as being past it and recognising and shining light on strong women who are embracing the next phase of their lives in a way that is individual, creative and unapologetic. I know you said you would be doing a Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness’ session about on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood, is that done or is it upcoming? Thank you for all you do in the childless not by choice community, and in particular for the women of color in the childless not by choice community. Any final words for the listeners before we go?
Yvonne’s Contact Information:
Articles/links of interest: Talk by Yvonne John at Melanie Stidolph’s solo exhibition ‘As it is seen.’
Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness’ session about/on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood Interview by Lauren McMenemy from Minds@Work on being CNBC and how that impacts mental health at work Watch Yvonne in conversation with Lauren McMenemy here: https://youtu.be/--t1zrteCZY
My first conversation with Yvonne John: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-103-childlessness-is-not-an-illness-3/ Remember the conversation about the photographer at the beginning of the episode? Here’s the link to his website: https://www.cephaswilliams.com/ Sarah Baartman images:
Triggers episode: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about David Richo: As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about Richard Rohr:
‘If you do not share your story, you will show your story.’--Richard Rohr.
Yvonne John My Patrons
My contact information:
| |||
| Episode 164--THE ISSUES OF RACE AND THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY | 02 Jul 2024 | 00:51:09 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 164 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Race and the medical community, how to fix it?
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Questions from listeners:
Listener Name: question from Spotify listener ‘Could you provide an actual bio description. I already know the title, I don’t know what you’re gonna talk about precisely. It would be very helpful instead of the basic uninformed text.’
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Before we get started: Android users, Google podcasts is going away–slowly, like by Summertime based on what I am hearing. That should give you time to find another way to listen. Honestly, if you just go to your app store you can search for podcast player apps. If you are an Android user, you can use podcast addict or Pocket Cast podcast player apps. Of course, you can also listen on YouTube music. And keep in mind, I do have two YouTube accounts where you can listen to the podcast. If you listen to the podcast on Gaana, the largest music platform in India, they are transitioning podcasts to app-only listening. So if you are not finding the Childless not by Choice podcast anywhere else on their platform, search the Gaana app. And thanks for listening India!
Body of episode: So, I want to tell you about an experience I had when I had my hysterectomy. Am I blaming race for what happened to me? That’s the thing about racism, it’s not always clear. I have always said ‘It’s a heart issue.’
Race and the medical community–
Talk about how there are differences that do not mean black people are inferior
Talk about the young woman who invented the color change of bandages. when a wound is healing or is getting infected. Talk about women of color losing babies at a higher rate-
Talk about the role of AI in the medical community-
What is bias? to give a settled and often prejudiced outlook: his background biases him against foreigners.
systematic error introduced into sampling or testing by selecting or encouraging one outcome or answer over others.
an inclination of temperament or outlook especially: a personal and sometimes unreasoned judgment: PREJUDICE
Even AI is biased. But it’s not AI’s fault. Who is creating AI code?
I believe just as it takes a village, and community, to get most things done in our world, it will take a village to fix and correct the inequities of care in the medical and health community. We all need to look out for each other List of things to do when going to the doctor:
Research links:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4194634/
https://www.healthaffairs.org/doi/10.1377/hlthaff.2021.01466
https://www.stkate.edu/academics/healthcare-degrees/racism-in-healthcare
https://www.band-aid.com/products/adhesive-bandages/ourtone-adhesive-bandages
Articles/links of interest:
https://medicalxpress.com/news/2024-03-rheumatic-diseases-childbearing-problems.html
| |||
| Happy New Year 2023 | 13 Jan 2023 | 00:13:36 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 146 and one half— the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Happy New Year!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Articles/links of interest:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/
| |||
| Episode 146--The heart of the childless not by choice during the holidays | 02 Dec 2022 | 00:19:00 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 146 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. This is the December 2022 episode. Our holiday episode! Thanks for stopping by! Well, the last two months the podcast has been on hiatus, and I am happy to be back! What is today’s show about? Childless not by choice during the holidays! Over the last few years, I have talked to us, reminded us, of how to be, how to do, as childless not by choice people during the holidays!
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! **PLEASE CONSIDER BECOMING A PATREON PATRON THIS YEAR** If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
I continue to be humbled! I would also like to thank those who reached out to me via Messenger and email. I am so glad the podcast is helping you. Please keep listening!
So, I am working on more great episodes for 2023! I feel like 2022 had a theme of health. We talked about food, diet, well-being, exercise, mental health, and all the things that strengthen us from the inside out. I did not plan a theme for 2023, but I feel like it will come together beautifully just like 2022. In the meantime, sit with me for a few, and let’s talk. The heart of the childless not by choice during the holidays. I don’t know about you, but I can feel the feelings creeping in right around October. I start to feel un-holiday-ish. I tell myself that I will not celebrate this year. I’m just not up for all the pomp and circumstance of it all. But as November rolls in, the month of Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I try to get myself in the mood. And the thing is, I love Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday. Thanksgiving gives me a chance to cook and bake. Christmas typically gives me a chance to catch up with family and friends. Getting into the festive mood takes work these last few years though. I had that childish anticipation all the way through adulthood. But it has dimmed, and I know that it is at least in part because my mom is gone. And we all have heard how the holidays can magnify loss. It’s true, they do magnify loss. If you are going through and dealing with the same feelings, don’t ignore them. Recognize them, admit them to yourself, and take them one day at a time. But don’t allow your feelings to dictate your decisions. That is one thing my dad told me years ago. Feelings change. So when you are making your decisions about how to spend your holidays, be intentional. Intentional: it is our keyword for this episode because intentionality is very important. And it is different from than intention. You see, we can intend to do something and never get around to it. But intentional means we are making decisions actively. We are actively involved in our decision-making and in our decisions. Sometimes we have to intentionally show up at the gatherings, sometimes it feels like we have no choice. We have elderly family members whom we do not know how many more family gatherings we will spend with them. And then at the other end of the spectrum, we have young family members with whom we would like to build a positive relationship. But I have said this before, there is nothing wrong with making different plans once in a while. Life is short. It’s short for everyone. The thing about making different plans for the holidays or any other time is that we have to then stand by them. We have to practice standing by our decision once we have made our plans. The way to stand by plans and decisions is to weigh those plans and decisions carefully. Weighing, deciding, and then standing. I think we get better at weighing, deciding, and then standing as we mature. You know life is filled with disappointments. And sometimes we may have wished we had made different decisions, but the fact is, no one is perfect. All we can do is the best we can do. We have to decide to make certain decisions about our lives. We don’t know how much time we have. Any of us. So thinking about ourselves more does not mean we are selfish. Everyone is living their lives. Are they selfish for caring for their spouses, children, their work-life balance? They wouldn’t think so. I don’t think so. It is definitely OK and healthy, to care for ourselves, to consider ourselves. To love ourselves. To speak kind words to ourselves, and practice makes perfect.
Here are five ways we can love, consider, and protect ourselves:
When the world, our world, realizes we have only good, positive intentions for ourselves, they will eventually come to realize that they are getting nowhere trying to get us to ‘come around'. That is why it is important for us to know ourselves, to respect ourselves, to be kind to ourselves. If you don’t like and respect you, it will be difficult for others to like and respect you, even your own family members. Consider this: if we are doing what everyone else wants us to do all the time, are we happy? Are we living our best, most joyful, and relevant lives? You know, I did not know what gaslighting was until just a few years ago. But once I found out about it, I realized there were times during my life when I had been gaslit! I am glad I can now recognize it for what it is, and can act accordingly. Acting accordingly when being gaslit means recognizing it when it is happening, trusting your gut that it is happening, and then standing firm in the love and protection you created for yourself. I put an article in the show notes that defines gaslighting, and explains how to recognize it. Check it out. It’s intriguing. And no, I did not take a sudden left turn and changed the subject. Gaslighting can happen to anyone. But it I believe we are more susceptible when we are heartbroken, grieving, and unaware of how worthy we are. We all as human beings have been through a lot these last few years. We have suffered some form of loss, and then on top of that loss a pandemic. Some of us are still dealing with brain fog and other effects of COVID. I am dealing with serious brain fog. But honestly, I don’t know if it is COVID or being a woman of a certain age, or both. Either way lets practice those five things I mentioned earlier, especially as we head into a fresh new year. Let’s practice being intentional.
Be sure to check out the show notes. I put some links in this episode's show notes that I believe you will like. For instance, there is an article here on the definition and effects of gaslighting. There is a link to my Only One in the Room interview. It’s always cool to be interviewed! Thanks again to those who reached out to me during hiatus. You made my day! Remember, be kind to yourself!
See you in January!
Articles/links of interest: https://punchng.com/court-dissolves-14-year-marriage-over-childlessness/ Video interview of my guest appearance on The Only One In The Room Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlD8pPwm88c
Article on the definition and the effects of gaslighting
Be intentional. Five things we can do to love, consider, and protect ourselves. Practice speaking silently to yourself…do not allow negativity into your heart and your mind. Say kind words to yourself.
Special thank you to: All of the wonderful listeners of the Childless not by Choice podcast! All of the guests of the podcast! All of the wonderful patrons of the platform!
| |||
| Episode 145--Hiatus 2022, My Time at the Sand Pile | 26 Sep 2022 | 00:24:18 | |
Hello! It’s me, Civilla! I wanted to stop by to let you know I am going on hiatus, returning in December with a fresh new episode. While away, I will definitely be working. completing blogs I have not had much time to work on, planning 2023 episodes, and getting caught up on some much-needed rest! Speaking of 2023 episodes, if you follow me on Instagram at Joyandrelevance, you heard my open call for 2023 episodes. For details, visit my Instagram page for details. I pinned the video to the top. In a nutshell though, if you or someone you know might be interested in being interviewed for my Childless not by Choice podcast in 2023, reach out to me at civilla@civillamorgan.com. PLEASE NOTE: you must be childless not by choice. In other words, never able to have the child or children you wanted. Once I receive your email, I will schedule a time with you via Calendly, for a pre-interview. This does not mean there will be a guaranteed interview. I will not be able to interview everyone I speak to. And please do not be upset or offended if I do not think we should follow through. I will always put my listeners first, and I will not air an episode I do not feel will help them on their childless not by choice journey. I appreciate your understanding. While I am away, please be sure to go back through the back catalog and listen to episodes you may have missed. Check out the website, and join one of the Facebook groups. The Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group is for women only, who never had children. The Supporters of the Childless not by Choice Community Facebook with Civilla Morgan is for anyone. If you are on Instagram, feel free to follow me at joyandrelevance for more content on childless not by choice, and for pictures. I love pictures. Speaking of pictures, I am also on Pinterest, at civilla1. I post the episodes there as well. And I have thousands of pictures of everything I’m interested in. So there. I LOVE pictures! In the meantime, in other news, I was honored to be a World Childless Week Champion for 2022. Click the link in the show notes to be taken to the World Childless Week website. World Childless Week 2022 went from September 12th to the 18th, so by the time you hear this, it will be over. But it takes place every September. Please do check out their site, get some knowledge and info, and be ready for next year! It was truly an honor to be asked! Also, Michael Hughes of the Full Stop Pod podcast created a beautiful video of childless not by choice platform creators encouraging us all on this childless not by choice journey. Once it is available for public viewing I will let you know! Next, I have also added the link in the show notes for a recent podcast interview. I was interviewed on the Only One In The Room Podcast! It was so exciting and I can’t wait for you to hear it. The link is in the show notes. I really felt like with this interview I was telling the world about us! One more thing: if you would like to become a monthly patron of the podcast, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice.net. If you would like to make a one-time or every once in a while contribution, visit my Paypal account at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Every contribution, no matter how large or small, will go toward the podcast. In fact, I am thinking, after seven years of using the same equipment, of doing an upgrade. Changing my microphone and purchasing a new boom arm, to be exact. I have already purchased and am learning how to use an audio interface product. Thanks, Rob, my podcast producer, for your help. So I have a story for you before I let you go. And I am telling you in the hopes it will encourage you as it did me: On the day I am recording this episode, Hurricane Ian is headed straight at us. Every forecast says the entire state will be taking a hit. It is also a Sunday today. My typical Sunday is to attend church online or in person. It’s what I have done every Sunday of my life unless I was sick. But with Ian headed our way, and having had to work all week, I had to order hurricane-type food curbside from my local grocery store yesterday. Today I had to go top off my gas tank and then buy gas for our generator in case we lose power. But something I have never had to do before was to fill sandbags. I spent my Sunday morning buying gas and filling sandbags. I will be honest, I was feeling pretty down. Much of the negative feelings came from the fact that I had lined up a lawn mowing company to mow our lawn, but he didn’t come through. The grass is high, if this storm comes through, there will be even more debris on top of the high grass. I have no idea what is wrong with our lawn mower. So I sit here not knowing how or when our lawn will be mowed. Back to the sand pile: I got to the location where people were filling sandbags, backed up to a sand pile, and realized everyone had their own shovels. I didn’t know you had to bring your own shovel. There were two women who had a shovel and a small bucket. They offered me their bucket. I was so thankful because it saved me a trip to the local box store as driving home was too far away. I started filling sandbags and putting them in my trunk. Another vehicle pulled up with two men and a little girl, and they started shoveling. Suddenly one of the men said ‘why don’t you use one of my shovels instead of using that bucket?’ I thanked him profusely, handed the bucket back to the two ladies, thanked them; and continued to shovel. I was trying to fill as many bags as I could because I knew I would have to give back the shovel when the men were leaving. Several bags in, I heard when one of the men said to the little girl, ‘go ahead, ask her.’ Suddenly the little girl said, ‘ma’am would you like me to hold the back open so you can put the sand in?’ I told her how kind she was and thanked her for her help. It looked like the men were finishing up. So I asked if they needed their shovel back. One of the men said ‘no, when we are finished we will help you with your bags.’ Whew, all of these people had no way of knowing how really low I had been feeling all morning! I feel like God knew how low I was feeling, and wanted to remind me that He is in the big things and the little things. He sent me to that sand pile. If you ever feel like offering help to someone on this journey called life, do it. If they say no, it’s on them. You did your part. If they say yes, you can feel good in knowing you are helping to make this crazy world a better place for someone. Here’s a quote from TobyMacSpeaks: ‘Some stranger somewhere remembers you because you were kind to them.’ Well, you know how to reach me. Just remember to give me 24 to 48 hours to respond. Remember, everything you need to know about this episode is in the show notes!
See you in December! Links mentioned: World Childless Week https://worldchildlessweek.net/events/2022/9/12/world-childless-week-2022
The Only One In The Room podcast interview https://megaphone.link/LAV6430207146 https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/LAV2696308372?selected=LAV6430207146
| |||
| Episode 144--Joyful Eating, my Conversation with Nutritionist Tansy Boggon | 19 Sep 2022 | 00:56:36 | |
Intro: Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Joyful Eating!
But first! Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Intro: I was thinking as I prepped for this episode that I don’t believe I’ve ever read a book by a nutritionist. I’m sure at some point most of us have read some type of nutrition flyer our doctor gave us at an appointment. Or maybe we googled a particular food, or even what food to eat for a certain medical complaint like certain fruit or vegetables are good for inflammation. Or if you are like me, I make many food decisions based on what I read on the label. I watch the sugar, salt, carbohydrates, etc. Well, except during my birthday month. But I digress!
Reading Joyful Eating was an eye opener as I think my biggest take aways were: not beating myself up over my weight, not feeling guilty about my food choices, to diet or not to diet, and my general relationship with food!
Today we are chatting with Nutritionist/ Author | Nutrition Writer | Recipe Developer | specialising in a non-diet and mindful eating approach, Mrs. Tansy Boggon. I put a link in the show notes to her website, blog, and social media contact. Tansy Boggon wife of our June interview guest Rob Hutchings! Link to that episode in the show notes! Hi Tansy, welcome to the show! We have so much to talk about!
Body of episode:
7) Tell us about your children’s book, how is that done as a childless not by choice person? I mean there are lots of childless not by choice people working with children every day, but is it a giant step to write a book for and about children?
8) And of course, we understand that one’s comfort level around children relies on how raw, where you are in your CNBC journey, so definitely don’t beat yourself up if you just can’t be in the room at that moment. But tapping into the way children see the world is a beautiful way for childless not by choice people see the world.
Chapter two of Joyful Eating is available as a free download from Tansy’s website.
Articles/links of interest:
This is the Rob Hutchings episode:
EPISODE CLIPS: ‘I acknowledge that my relationship with my food and my body are constantly evolving...’ ‘We’ve been taught our whole lives that the way to change our bodies is to criticize, to put it down...’ ‘...rather than focusing on this weight…we’re imposing an outcome that we want that is very arbitrary…based on what I believe, or the weight I was 20 years ago, or what we see in a magazine…’ ‘I’m not going to have a tummy issue because I never had children…I have a tummy issue.’ ‘Chapter ‘Health is not static, it’s dynamic.’
Special thank you to: Tansy Boggon
Tansy’s Contact Information: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tansyboggon/
| |||
| Episode 142 -Seven Year Podcastiversary | 18 Jul 2022 | 00:27:12 | |
Intro: What is today’s show about? My Podcastiversary!
Hello Guys and Dolls, welcome to episode 142! And seven years! I had no idea I would still be podcasting. I had no idea I would still like it, never mind the fact that I absolutely still love it! That clip you just heard, was me responding to the question of the month on The School of Podcasting podcast. It is one of the podcasts for podcasters that I listen to on a regular basis. In fact, I interviewed the host of that show a while back. I will put the link in the show notes. So, about the podcast: hearts are healing, minds are being refreshed, new people are finding the show, and childless not by choice people are boldly exploring new ways to live the childless not by choice life. For instance: in episode 141 I spoke with Triathlete Rob Hutchings for our Father’s Day episode. We talked about his journey to adoption and how that journey ended without a successful adoption. But he and his wife have decided to live their best most relevant lives hiking, swimming, and traveling. Oh, and I will be interviewing Rob’s wife for a future episode! In episode 140, Hiding in plain sight? One of my long-time listeners posted in our Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group that this episode spoke to her. I really loved hearing that! Over the past year we have discussed, the need for hope, in episode 139, pre-and peri-menopause, episode 138, and episode 137 where I spoke to Sheri Johnson about worth. Our worth as childless not by choice people. By the way, if you want to hear Sheri interview me, check out her podcast Awakening Worth, episode 57! Whew! I got some serious feedback on that episode. I really enjoyed it! Going all the way back to January of this year, 2022, there were two episodes that month. Episode 136 where I stop by to say Happy New Year! And episode 135, Where I speak to the one and only Sarah Roberts, founder of The Empty Cradle. That was a lovely episode and a wonderful way to start the new year! It’s been a fabulous year so far! But there is so much more coming! I am not even sure I will take my two-month hiatus! If I decide to, I will stop by to let you know. Stay tuned! So look, I would like to say a great big THANK YOU to all of you who tune in every month. For those who are just finding the podcast and the platform, for those who tell others about the podcast. Thank you. Spreading the word is what I really want to happen now. I want more childless not by choice people around the world to feel hopeful about their lives although things did not turn out as expected. I want you to know that even when you are feeling down or negative about life, those feelings are fleeting. You are worthy. You have as much right to be here as anyone else. Those thoughts and feelings come to the best of us. The key is to recognize them, but not entertain them. Don’t let them hang around for too long. Manage your mind and your heart regularly. What you entertain and allow to hang around, is what can overwhelm you. So look to be overwhelmed in a positive way. I want to tell you a couple more things: one, I am on Tik Tok! I fought it for so long, but I finally joined the platform. I am slowly building content and I already have a small following! I will tell you that I get so many jokes from that platform. I can be having a really bad day, but if I tune in just before bedtime, I will definitely get a laugh or two! What I like about the platform is that it really picks up on what I like, so I will seldom get any craziness in my feed. If you are on Tik Tok, please do follow. I would love to hear from you! Drop a hello from time to time! Also, one of the ways I really feel that getting the word out to every part of the world is using a podcast app that acts like a phone. And acting like a phone means the listener has the option to tune into the podcast by dialing in. The only app I am aware of that does this is an app called Bullhorn. If you live in a part of the world or you know someone who lives where data is difficult to obtain, or just plain expensive; try Bullhorn. And no, they are not sponsoring my podcast. I just love that their product can work for those where data can be an issue. Well, I want to once again thank you for listening to the Childless not by Choice podcast. I hope you are subscribed, or as Apple calls it, following. I hope you are following. Remember, you can subscribe on the Apple app, but there are tons of other podcast apps out there. They are also called podcatchers. I am subscribed to multiple podcatcher apps, such as Stitcher, Gaana (which is an Indian app), Overcast, Himalaya, Bullhorn, Google Play, Podbean, and then of course Spotify, Pandora, and I am sure I am missing someone. So whatever your preference, I am probably there! If you ever have questions about subscribing, episode suggestions, anything, message me! I am happy to help! Happy Podcastiversary! Keep listening!
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Articles of interest:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/final-cnbc-ep-140/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/more-hope-please-and-other-things/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-137-what-is-your-worth-my-conversation-with-sheri-johnson/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-116-my-conversation-with-dave-jackson-3/
Special thank you to: My guests and listeners this past year.
My contact information: TikTok: 2podcastertoo | |||
| Episode 141--Downriver Nomad, my Conversation with Rob Hutchings | 01 Jun 2022 | 00:57:38 | |
Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 141 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Rob Hutchings: ‘Downriver Nomad–A Triathlete’s Adventures and Adversities Into The Rapids’
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Intro (for guest episodes): Rob’s intro Triathlete and marathon swimmer, Rob Hutchings takes us on a whirlwind journey from triathlons and his first marathon swim in his home country of Canada, to Ironman competitions across the pond. Then down under to Australia and New Zealand where he embarked on marathon adventures off the beaten track, on land, and in the water, which led to his biggest challenge – an unprecedented attempt at swimming the turbulent 256 km Clutha River. In Downriver Nomad, Rob shares his story of adventures and adversities not only in the water, on the racecourse, and off the beaten track, but also his struggles with an alcoholic father and his own unsuccessful path to fatherhood. His is a story of humor, heartbreak, and challenges that will inspire the absolute beginner in adventure sports to the seasoned endurance athlete. Join Rob on his nomadic adventures in triathlon, marathon swimming, and adventure sports, packed with hairpin bends, whirlpools, rock dodging, and white-water rapids. Body of episode: Questions for Rob Hutchings: ‘Downriver Nomad–A Triathlete’s Adventures and Adversities Into The Rapids’
Articles/links of interest:
Clutha River Swim: Short version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVyqCkHTDrY Long version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeIW6ioSHZA
Easter 2022 Marathon Swim:
See the book synopsis and other endorsements here: http://adventuresoutsidethelanes.com/downriver-nomad/
Joyful Eating by Tansy Boggon
Special thank you to: Rob Hutchings for joining us this episode.
Quotes from Rob: 'The river was in control, not me.' What I like about river swimming and childlessness really made this apparent to me...the river is in charge...this is.
'Life is a series of chaotic events.' 'Life is inherently chaotic...'
My contact information: ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life.’
Survey:
| |||
| Episode 140--Hiding In Plain Sight | 22 May 2022 | 00:27:09 | |
Intro: Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today’s show about? Hiding in plain sight
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Read my social media post for the month of May.
Body of episode: This year I decided not to concentrate so much on Mother’s Day, but instead to concentrate on how those of us who are childless not by choice show up in the world, especially around days like Mother’s Day. I would be remiss if I did not wish those listeners who are moms a Happy Mother’s Day. And of course, a very Happy Mother’s Day to our own moms, whether they are still with us or not. As many of you know, my mom, my best friend, and favorite person ever; passed the week of Mother’s Day, 2019. Talk about making a grand exit. I miss her so much I still cry myself to sleep some nights. Her birthday is at the end of March, but I promise you as soon as February hits my whole outlook on life changes. It’s like the sky just goes dim. April, no biggie. And then comes May. I miss trying to figure out what to buy her for Mother’s Day. She loved scarves and brooches. And she loved a certain perfume that I won’t bother to mention. She also loved all the music by The Gaithers, so I usually tried to get her their latest CDs. I loved shopping for her. Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day mommy. I love and miss you. I would also like to say Happy Mother’s Day Mexico as Mother’s Day Mexico is on May 10th. Well, if your mom is still here, and you are able to reach out, please try to do so. I know some relationships are frayed, I get it. I will leave that to you. Either way, this time around, this episode is for those of us who are childless not by choice during the month of May. Those of us who may be hiding in plain sight, or maybe deciding to do something different on Mother’s Day. In fact, one of the ladies in our Facebook group for women only, the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group; asked what everyone does to get through Mother’s Day. The responses were varied. I loved that she asked the question. Some responses included spending time with their own mothers, celebrating mothers in their lives, etc. If you have been listening long enough you know I stopped attending church on Mother’s Day. I had started going to my mom’s church with her to celebrate her. But now that she’s gone, I don’t go at all. Although I will probably watch online. You know, when I think about hiding in plain sight, I think about those puzzles we did as children, and that we now do as adults to keep our brains active. You know, kinda like the Where’s Waldo puzzle searches. The item being searched for is right in front of us, but a lot of times we miss it. As childless not by choice people though, are we being searched for, or are we typically ignored? And I don’t mean that to sound like everyone is mean. But let’s face it if you are the one person in a crowd: a party, a family gathering, etc., aren’t you ignored while the parents are questioned about how big the kids are, how they are doing in school, are they behaving, etc. And you had better fall in line and join the Q&A or you are viewed as uncaring. Oh, and before someone gets offended, I love the kids in my life. I want to know how they are. I want to invest whatever I can (and that does not always mean money). But you do run the risk of being ignored if you have not made a contribution to carrying on the family line. You’ve probably experienced it: someone asks ‘do you have kids?’ or ‘How many kids do you have?’ When you respond that you do not have kids, the conversation goes silent, there is discomfort, and then you each find someone else to talk to. Has that ever happened to you? What about the commentary about you being made to work late because you don’t have kids and your co-workers do. The commentaries are made without thought to our plans. If our plans do not include children, they are not real plans. What to do? How to deal with this? I’ve said it before, but it can never be said too much: We have to make sure our co-workers and family members, the people in our lives realize and recognize our kind but firm boundaries. And then we have to be willing to make other plans when the–family, friends, and co-workers, refuse to respect us as childless people. Life is short. Do we really need to hear the unsolicited suggestions and commentary about our lives? Do we need the mental and emotional abuse especially if we have already discussed the behavior with people? No. The answer is no. I know that it’s much easier to hide in plain sight. To lay low and just go with the flow, than rock the boat at work or in the family during the holidays. But I have to ask you, what would your life be like if you made decisions, good healthy decisions about the direction of your life? What would happen if you told your co-worker or boss that although you would generally stay behind, you do actually have plans? What would your life be like?
Before I leave you today, I want to read you something that really spoke to me. I saw this quote on Twitter near the end of April and wow. I mean I read and re-read it several times. I asked permission to share it and I am so glad she said yes. Oh my gosh. I read that quote, re-read it, and then said ‘wow, that’s me. That’s where I am. That’s where I want to be. That’s where I want you to be. No rush, just head in that general direction. You will get there.
Thanks for listening!
My contact information:
Episode quotes: | |||
| Episode 139--More Hope Please! And Other Things! | 25 Apr 2022 | 00:14:59 | |
Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 139 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. It’s me, Civilla Morgan. Well, this is a minisode. I had other plans for this episode, but since I had no plans to skip April, I decided to just go ahead with what I had. So if you will give me just a few minutes of your time, I promise it will not be a waste of time. What is today’s show about: More Hope Please! And a few other things. Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Transition to talk about hope:
Did we talk about hope in a prior episode? Maybe. But I think we can all use more hope, right? What’s going on in the world–Have you thought of the fact that almost every country has some type of drama or conflict going on? I mean is it because we are more connected so that we know right away when something happens around the globe? Most likely.
Do you believe we can be stressed by other people’s stress? Is there such a thing? I think so. I mean I have been glued to the news and to Twitter following the conflict in Ukraine. It’s heartbreaking to watch.
So I went on a search and found an article saying that stress can be caught, like catching a cold. I don’t know, you decide. I put a link in the show notes. But I am thinking of it differently. Like the stress of watching other people suffer, whether it is a terrible car accident on a local highway or street. Or on the other side of the world, watching a sovereign country gets invaded. Or hearing in the news about civil wars that have been going on for decades. What about a friend or family member who is in some type of conflict and drama? That can stress you outright? You know where I am going with this: Limit it all. Yes, many of us want to know what is going on around the world and in our world, but too much of it can be quite stressful.
It is up to you to decide how much you can take in. It is up to you to decide to step away for some amount of time, decided by you, not by someone else. It’s OK to step away. At this point in a somewhat post-pandemic period as there continues to be worldwide drama, it is very important to find a happy medium.
No one wants to get caught flat-footed about an issue they should have been paying attention to. But at the same time, not taking a moment away from even the heartbreaking grief of others, can be unhealthy. Find your happy medium and create your kind but firm boundary around it. Respect your health, your heart, and your mind. You will be healthier and stronger for it.
Thanks for tuning in, see you next month!
Links mentioned in the episode: Sheri Johnson
Not a Momma Life Podcast:
Articles/links of interest:
Special thank you to: Not a Momma podcast Awakening Worth Podcast
My contact information:
| |||
| Episode 138--Pre and Peri Menopause, Signs we may have missed! | 31 Mar 2022 | 00:24:16 | |
Intro: Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Pre- and peri-menopause
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice (Pull up site while I’m talking and go over the levels)
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode: So, pre-and peri-menopause. I’ve been wanting to talk about this for quite some time. I hope this content helps you recognize signs you may have ignored or missed. And how to deal. As I did the research for this episode, I realized this content might be quite triggering, so please know that upfront, and maybe wait to listen until you are in a good place. Maybe tomorrow you will feel better than today, for instance. Just FYI. Remember to check the show notes for all of the links I used in the research for this episode.
Let’s get started: According to Let’s Get Checked: ‘Hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes, and difficulty having a good night's sleep; the signs and symptoms of menopause in women are all too well known by most but aren’t believed to be experienced by many until they hit their 50s; with 51 being the average age in the United States, according to Mayo Clinic [1]. To set the record straight, menopause doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, your body can take a significant period of time before menopause to transition, this is known by experts as perimenopause or premature menopause by some. So if you’re experiencing menopause symptoms at a ‘not so’ menopausal age, this might be why; some women will notice certain shifts in their 40s and some might notice perimenopausal symptoms as early as their 30s.’
Perimenopause, which translates to ‘around menopause, includes symptoms such as:
Other emotional symptoms can include:
I don’t know about you but I never attributed fatigue to the possibility of peri-menopause. Probably because like many of you, my daily to-do list is as long as the day. We all have so much to do every day right? Now the hot flashes, I can write a book! I take a supplement that seems to help. Because I am not a clinician, I will not mention any names. I will say that it is something I get from my local health food store. I did a lot of research, taking many different types until I found one that actually worked. I went the natural way because I really did not want another prescription drug in my system. Of course, if a prescription works best for you, do what is best for you. And definitely have a conversation with your ob-gyn or general practitioner. Now I’m going to be honest with you: I really thought that pre-menopause and peri-menopause were on opposite ends of the spectrum. I can’t even explain why I thought that, but here we are. Anyway, according to Healthline: ‘Premenopause and perimenopause are sometimes used interchangeably, but technically they have different meanings…’ they go on to say that ‘premenopause is when you have no symptoms of perimenopause or menopause.’ OK. Well, kinda makes sense since pre- means before right? But honestly, peri- means about the same thing, before, near, etc. Once again, that’s why it’s always a great idea to do research. Healthline also says ‘You still have periods — whether they’re regular or irregular — and are considered to be in your reproductive years. Some hormonal changes may be occurring, but there are no noticeable changes in your body. On the other hand, during perimenopause, you’ll start to experience symptoms of menopause.’ Now, I don’t know about that. I believe that if ‘some hormonal changes may be occurring’, then symptoms must be evident. You may realize some time down the line in your pre-/peri-menopause journey, that you will look back and say ‘wait, I do recall that feeling or that episode. That’s my humble opinion, for whatever it’s worth. Well, as I continued my research, I came upon Web.MD’s take on pre-and perimenopause. Always gotta see what is going on at WebMD. They say that: ‘Perimenopause, or menopause transition, begins several years before menopause. It's the time when the ovaries gradually begin to make less estrogen. It usually starts in women's 40s but can start in their 30s or even earlier. Perimenopause lasts up until menopause, the point when the ovaries stop releasing eggs. In the last 1 to 2 years of perimenopause, this drop in estrogen speeds up. At this stage, many women have menopause symptoms. They also say that: How Long Does Perimenopause Last?The average length of perimenopause is 4 years, but for some women, this stage may last only a few months or continue for 10 years.’ Key: Perimenopause ends when women have gone 12 months without having their period. Also in my research, I came across a site called ASRM–American Society for Reproductive Medicine. They have pretty similar information. One thing that stood out, and this may be a trigger for some of you: ‘ Pregnancy is rare but not impossible, so contraception is still needed to avoid pregnancy.’ Hmph. So there’s that. Finally, Franciscan Health. They really get straight to the point, I mean “Your ovaries are shutting down, but the process takes some time. That process is called perimenopause." Whew! They do also say that ‘The first perimenopause sign is typically a disruption of your menstrual cycle. For many women, your period starts earlier or later than normal. For example, if your menstrual cycle has always been 28 days, during perimenopause, your period could come as early as 21 or as late as 35 days. Some women start skipping months entirely and then experience heavier-than-normal periods when they do have them.’ So although many women have experienced this, if you have not yet, here’s your FYI. If your period arrival times start to go awry this may be why. Mine showed up like clockwork (thanks mom for showing me how to count the days). Because I had fibroid issues, my experience with pre-peri-menopause was not long-lived. I will tell you that my experience included what I call man-made menopause and natural menopause. When I was trying to buy time hoping to meet Mr. Right, I agreed to an intramuscular injection that was used to reduce the size of fibroids. The medication came in a monthly form and a quarterly form. I tried both. This medication had to be injected by the doctor, um, in the buttocks. Yeah. So actually I went through menopause twice. But the side effects were horrendous! I was so upset, moody, short-tempered. Just terrible. I eventually advised my ob-gyn that I just couldn’t do it anymore. I felt like if I had continued on the medication I would have to be committed. Yes, it was that bad. In fact, the hot flashes from this man-made menopause were in my opinion much worse than natural menopause. Every time I stopped any type of treatment during that 10 year period, I felt so down and dejected. I just wanted to know what it was that I did wrong to be in this situation. If you are asking the same questions just know that you did nothing wrong. Life is indiscriminate. That’s it. Indiscriminate. Don’t beat yourself up. Do the best you can physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally; to care for yourself. As I always say, find a doctor, an ob-gyn who is committed to your care. My Ob-gyn committed to going on my journey with me. He did not push me toward the hysterectomy, but when I was ready he was very positive and encouraging, advising me that he knew it was a difficult decision but that I was going to have an exponentially better quality of life. In the end, he was right. But it was definitely not what I wanted to hear at the time. It was a difficult time. But I made it! And so can you. If you are or think you are dealing with pre-or perimenopause, please talk to your healthcare provider. And be sure to do your own research so that you can have an engaged and fruitful conversation with your doctor. Notice I always say to get a second opinion and even change doctors if you feel your doctor is not listening? Well, pre-, peri-, and menopause, are the areas where they are not known for listening very much. I hate to brush with a broad stroke, but I have heard so many women say, myself included; that they were prescribed ahem, a medication to calm their nerves when complaining about sleeplessness, hot flashes, etc. Don’t just accept that a ‘calming prescription’ is the only way to fix these issues. So, yeah, do your homework, do your homework, do your homework. Get a second opinion, see what your hormone and estrogen levels are, see what your doctor suggests, see what is available OTC–over the counter. Know your body.
Research links:
https://www.healthline.com/health/menopause/difference-perimenopause
https://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/guide-perimenopause
https://www.franciscanhealth.org/community/blog/first-signs-of-perimenopause
| |||
| Episode 137--What is your worth? My conversation with Sheri Johnson | 21 Feb 2022 | 00:36:05 | |
Intro: What is your worth? Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Intro (for guest episodes): Sheri Johnson turned the pain of three miscarriages and six years of an infertility journey into a passion to inspire childless not by choice women to live full, unconventional lives of meaning. She made the decision to use her coaching background to create a process for navigating the triggers. She teaches her process in 1x1 coaching and in her membership program. Sheri says that women leave the program feeling empowered with practices they can use throughout their lifetime.
At the end of our discussion today Sheri will tell you how to obtain a free gift created just for you!
Hello Sheri, welcome to the show!
Now this in itself may be triggering, but you say ‘Triggers can be a part of grieving’, how so? Tell us about some of the tools we can use to heal… Mindfulness Journaling Meditation Nutrition Essential oils The Bible
When we spoke before recording, you said something that really intrigued me, that ‘women seem to just be waiting to get better…’ Guess what you all? Sheri has a gift for you!
Sheri’s information: Free gift from Sheri: Contact info: @Awakening.worth Podcast: Awakening Worth
Quotes from Sheri: ‘...I’m open to the healing that’s meant for me.’ ‘I’m responsible for building my self-worth.’ ‘It’s not the person bringing the baby into the office that causes the pain, that person is triggering the pain.’ ‘It’s like pressing on a wound that’s already there. They didn’t cause the wound, they are reminding you the wound is there.’ ‘...we can try to educate the world about childlessness. There's a tendency to want to educate, but it’s like playing a game of whack a mole…it doesn’t matter how much we educate…the healing comes when we focus on healing our pain.’
Articles/links of interest: https://www.rt.com/news/545233-pope-childless-pet-owners-selfishness/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/
My contact information: TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS [Music] I thought you get to grieve when you lose a baby or when you lose a child or a father or a friend. When you lose something that you didn't even know, a child you never met, how is that worthy of grief? So it had already come up for me after my miscarriages, but then again, on my childless journey, I didn't realize that what I was feeling was grief or that I was allowed to feel that or express it. Does that resonate with you, Civilla? Some people may think, oh my gosh, two years that's a long time, what's wrong with you? Other people totally understand that was the first face I ever saw on this planet and we got along really well. Some people don't get along with their moms and I'm sorry, but I got along really well with my mother. We have so many inside jokes that I can never share with anybody else. It's a different grief, but grief is still grief and it's still important. It might be scabbed over and someone is tearing that off or might be almost healed and that trigger feels like a pinprick versus a blow in the gut. You won't do those things unless you feel worthy and deserving of all of those, so they're all interconnected. Eating well is going to make you feel worthy and feeling worthy is also going to make you eat better food, because you're going to want to fuel yourself with better food when you feel you deserve to be healthy. It's a cycle. It's kind of like a chicken and egg scenario a little bit. I don't know which one comes first, but it's a cycle. So practicing that cycle of worthiness, identifying those things through journaling and through meditation and then practicing them through use of essential oils or your self-care routines or nutrition or getting out into nature, those are all ways of practicing your self-worth. Does that make sense? But I'm telling you, just this little section here that we just talked on the tools that we can use, that again could be a whole other episode. This is great, great stuff, Sheri. Thank you so much for breaking all of this down for us. If it doesn't heal properly, then you'll kind of set it aside, both tearing or some sort of anti-inflammatory to keep the pain down and you just sort of adjust to that or you could go and have it set and take some action towards healing that broken arm, put a cast on it and it's going to heal much more quickly and it's going to heal properly. In the case of allowing it to heal, what I think is we just kind of cover up that pain, bury it. Sometimes if you don't get it set right away, have you ever heard of people who have to get their bone re-broke and reset? | |||
| Episode 163--Father's Day | 03 Jun 2024 | 00:22:53 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 163 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Father’s Day
Thank you Patreon contributors: I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you still need to become a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Articles/links of interest:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/
Special thank you to: All of the wonderful men who have shared their childless not by choice journey with us, and the world.
My contact information: | |||
| Episode 136--Happy New Year! | 22 Jan 2022 | 00:12:05 | |
Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 136 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today’s show about?
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/
My contact information:
| |||
| Episode 135--The Empty Cradle, my Conversation with counselor Sarah Roberts | 02 Jan 2022 | 00:51:05 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 135 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today’s show about? The Empty Cradle But before I continue, let me say thank you to...
...my Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Intro: Sarah Roberts I’ve known about our guest for quite some time. You know how you travel in the same circle as someone, but you’ve never been introduced, you’ve never met, but you know the person exists? Then one day I came across her platform’s intro video on YouTube, and I asked myself why I had never interviewed her. I watched her video three times before I decided to ask if she would be a guest. There is a link to the video in the show notes. Check it out. It really captured me. And I am so happy she said yes. Sarah Roberts, welcome to the show! ***Acknowledgement of the traditional owners of the country.
Questions/Conversation starters:
‘We really need to be doing this work ourselves.’ Therapy for childlessness. People need to start from a place of respect.
Explain the ‘social context of childlessness’. How does your faith and spirituality, your Christian perspective, come into play in our childlessness arena? How do you use it in your counseling?
Sarah's quote: ‘We really need to do this work ourselves.’--Sarah Roberts 'Is there something wrong with me?'--Sarah Roberts
Links of interest: https://www.theemptycradle.com/home.html https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-125-are-we-being-good-ancestors/
More information on the Australian Aboriginal Community
The story of Hannah https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1samuel+1&version=NIV
Sarah’s Contact information: http://www.theemptycradle.com/ https://linktr.ee/theemptycradle Email - support@theemptycradle.com Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/involuntarychildlessness/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/theemptycradle/
| |||
| Episode 134--The Dame Who Made a Difference | 02 Dec 2021 | 00:18:07 | |
Intro: Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! What is today’s show about? Today’s show is about a dame. But first, thank you to… ...my Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
BTW, if you are a Patron, there is a fresh new video on the Patreon site. Be sure to check it out!
I hear from a lot of you on Instagram, how cool right? Remember, you can find and follow me @joyandrelevance on Instagram. I’m also on Pinterest, Civilla Morgan. Sooo, January is already recorded! I can’t wait for you to hear my conversation with Sarah Roberts. It is just the perfect way to start a new year! Be sure to tune in. Hey, tune in all year. And don’t be a stranger. Your feedback really is a real source of encouragement. I’m a history buff. I mean I love anything history. World history, the history of humanity, medieval history, art history. I mean I love history! In fact, one of my favorite podcasts is all about women throughout history. So imagine my shock and surprise when I heard about this amazing woman! You see, the woman I’m talking about today was childless and husbandless, like many of us. And that’s what caught my eye. She had been mentioned on social media on the anniversary of her death. I believe it was a Google Doodle. I like to read the story behind Google Doodles because well, I love history and historical facts. But when they said she never married or had children, well, me too! The timing of it all was quite interesting too. I had been reading lots of posts on IG, about the treatment by society of those of us who never married and never had children, in earnest, the last couple of months. I mean it’s a thing, I’m living it, and have been for many years. But I had not heard much talk about it until the last few months as of this recording. The pain in the posts was palpable. Well, after a little digging, I found one book on Amazon which I promptly ordered. I had to wait a little bit for the book, which made me a little nervous, but it finally came. It is an interesting read. Information on the book in the show notes, as well as some additional informational links on this lady! So here’s the thing: Childless, husbandless, and a dame. Mary Eugenia Charles’ father started his life as a mason and then a farmer. He was snubbed by the elite, but that did not get in the way of his goals. He quietly went about the business of amassing wealth while the community looked down on him until he surpassed them in wealth. Her farmer father turned banker for the everyday person. His plan was to send his four children to the best schools. Two of them became doctors, one became a nun, against her parent's wishes. And Eugenia went to law school. Then she got into politics. Oh, but imagine a woman getting into politics in the 1960s. You think it’s a man’s world now. She had to create a tough exterior to deal with men who definitely did not want her in their presence. They felt she was a deviant because she never married and never had children. They felt she belonged in a lower class because her father had to work his way up the class ladder. She has been listed in Guida-Myrl Jackson-Laufer’s list of ‘Women Rulers Throughout the Ages’, listed among women such as Cleopatra, Mary Queen of Scots, and Isabella Queen of Spain; just to name a few. But hey, she gave as good as she got, although it had to be tough to hear that she was sterile, wore cheap underwear, really? Ignored when she fainted in the midst of these sharks. But she survived. She was indeed so successful at turning her country around, she ruled for 15 years, even surviving two attempted coups. Some of you may remember the invasion of Grenada back in the 1980s? She was an integral part of that. She brought battling factions in her country Dominica, not to be confused with The Dominican Republic. Two very different places. together, and put strong people in her cabinet; which tells me she had a healthy level of self-confidence. Something I personally like in people I surround myself with. Just an aside. Intriguing right? I mean aside from the obvious that she was childless and husbandless? It is said that she never married because she never met anyone she wanted to marry. These aren’t the days of arranged marriage right? So she just never met anyone and sometimes that’s just the way it is. Yet she made things happen despite the treatment she received, and despite not adhering to society’s ‘norms’. I mean some people marry so that they are not lonely. Some people opt not to marry if they can’t marry for love. Oh, this diehard romantic was shocked when I found out in my younger years that people married for all types of reasons and that love was just one of the reasons! The shock! I also came to the realization that for me, I had no intention of marrying for anything less than love because when the going gets tough I have to know I love this person. But that’s me. So, how are you making stuff happen despite being childless or childless and husbandless? How do you deal with the people who watch you faint and ignore you? Or the people who accuse you of wearing cheap underwear? What about the people who spread assumptions about you? How will you deal? How do you deal? Let me remind you... Those of us who are husbandless and childless are a family unit unto ourselves. I’ve said it before, a family is not only parents and kids, or husband and wife no kids. It can be you, just you. Human, worthy, single, childless, beautiful you. Remember that this holiday season. You deserve a place at the adult table just as much as the couple or the parents. Your sleeping arrangements should not be an afterthought. Now look, I realize you don’t want to create drama at the family gatherings, and I don’t want you to either. But I bet that’s why some families believe they can treat the single childless family member as an afterthought. They don’t believe you will make a scene. And you don’t have to. If there is a problem, kindly pull the host aside and have a civil conversation. If you feel the conversation is going nowhere, feel free to adult and make alternate plans some years. Look, we all want to see our family members, we all want to belong. But we have to decide if we want to belong so much we are willing to accept bad treatment gathering after gathering after gathering. Making alternate plans sometimes shows that you love and respect yourself. Please, love and respect yourself. Until you do, no one else will. We are living in unbelievably difficult times. I mean family gatherings were difficult pre-pandemic. Now, everything has changed. Life as we knew it is no longer, no matter how much we want it to be all back to normal. Normal is going to be different. And I believe the reason some of us are having a difficult time acclimating is that we are not moving ahead, but looking backward. There was good back there, but there was also bad back there. There was dysfunction, there was petty behavior at family gatherings. And yes, there are good memories from back there. But ahead, are good memories and good times. Especially when you create those moments and exercise those kind but firm boundaries. Trust your decisions. Trust your heart. Trust yourself. And have a lovely Holiday Season.
Mary Eugenia Charles, DBE was a Dominican politician who was Prime Minister of Dominica from 21 July 1980 until 14 June 1995. The first woman lawyer in Dominica, she was Dominica's first, and to date only, female prime minister. Wikipedia Born: May 15, 1919, Pointe Michel, Dominica Died: September 6, 2005, Fort-de-France, Martinique Nationality: Dominican Previous office: Prime Minister of Dominica (1980–1995) Education: University of Toronto, London School of Economics and Political Science Organization founded: Dominica Freedom Party
www.marylandattorneyatlaw.com; 301-218-9400
Articles/links of interest:
https://www.thegrenadarevolutiononline.com/damecharles.html
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Eugenia-Charles
Add hashtags: #youdonthaveto Add alt tags: they help sight impaired people know what the episode is about
Survey link:
Research links:
Articles/links of interest: https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-85-adenomyosis-in-april
https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-120-lets-talk-about-it
Everyone who reached out the last few months, including 2020. I received several pieces of feedback on Instagram Messenger from people who advised the podcast has helped them quite a bit. I have put links to the episodes mentioned in the feedback here in the show notes. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to hear from you when an episode or the podcast on a whole, has helped you on your childless not by choice journey. Podcasters do not ask for feedback because we are narcissistic. Feedback is an engine for us. I like to give you all little tidbits of insight into the world of podcasting from time to time. And in the world of podcasting, feedback is part of the engine that keeps us going. When I first started podcasting and I was not getting tons of downloads, I would sometimes ask myself why exactly I was doing this. No one is listening, I would tell myself. I am not hearing from anyone. And just then, so many times, just then, I would get an email, a message in Facebook Messenger, or an Instagram post from a listener thanking me for what I do. It never failed. Those messages helped. So when you send a message, know that I read it. In fact, I have responded to every piece of feedback I’ve received. Thank you!
| |||
| Episode 133--BYE! HIATUS 2021 EPISODE | 21 Sep 2021 | 00:25:51 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 133 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? In this week's episode, we will discuss...
2) 1x1 conversations with me. 3) If you have not already done so...
But first... Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank my patrons, my Patreon patrons, for their monthly support. (Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!) If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
I believe this is my third year taking October and November off. As many of you know, my mom passed in May 2019, but by August or September, I was drowning in grief. If I remember correctly it was about that time I decided to take a look at the possibility of taking some time off from podcasting. That two-month break helped so much I decided to continue doing it. But I am going to be forthcoming with you from a podcaster’s point of view: when I first decided to take this break, I thought about the fact that taking two months off annually would keep me from achieving a higher number of podcast episodes. You know, six years in, and having started out with two episodes per month, I should be closer to 200 episodes at this point. But as quickly as the thought entered my mind, I deleted it! The thought had to go. I could not afford to allow ego and comparing myself to other podcasts and podcasters to affect my decision to think about my mental health. I believe when we pay attention to where we are mentally and emotionally, and adjust accordingly, we show up in a healthy way to the world, to our world; and to the tasks, we signed up for as well as the tasks we have been assigned. I know I talked last episode about mental health, but unless I got this absolutely wrong, incorrect; I believe all seven billion plus of us continue to be in a stressful and tiring place. Maybe not all the time or all at once, but this world is in a difficult place right now. I don’t know about you, but globally it feels like things are happening one thing right after the other. We will have to make the individual decision as to what we take on and what we keep at bay. And the list can be fluid, every day is not the same. But we have to put some thought into our daily decisions. That is how I believe we protect our mental health without feeling guilty.
Examples include:
Now when the news started to bother me on another level, and that started right around...now. Go figure. I decided to do more reading and less news consumption. We have to pay attention to when things take a turn inside our heads and our hearts. We have to be that in tune. For some, it may take work, but for others, and I believe those of us who are introverts, we know almost before it happens when our heart and our mind are turning a corner. And we say ‘OK, that’s it, no more...news, negative conversation, negative thoughts…’ etc. And you do this without feeling guilty or necessarily making those around you feel bad. It can be done. Which kinda leads to...
I have looked back on situations and wished I had not said something or wished I had apologized right away, but if that’s not how the situation worked out, know that you did the best you could with the situation, and try to handle things better the next time. This is for those of you, like me, who like to beat yourselves up. Trust me. I know. But what I also know is that there is not one single perfect human on this planet. Some pretend they are. They may even come after you like they are perfect, forgetting that just yesterday they made a mess. Do the best you can, always. Keep your heart in the right place, and remember: There is no perfect human. And...
Click the link for 1x1 sessions, and follow the directions. Please note there is a non-refundable fee for this service. I believe that talking things out helps quite a bit and I look forward to speaking with you. But please note: I am not a licensed therapist. I am a person who has run the gamut of feelings from deep sadness, dare I say depression, as I watched my life not turn out the way I expected it to turn out. To arrive at a place I did not expect to be, never even knowing such a place existed. Then coming to terms with my childlessness, and the way my life turned out. I believe talking about that journey helps quite a bit.
See you in December!
Items of interest:
https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/episode-85-adenomyosis-in-april
Survey link:
| |||
| Episode 132--Mental health, mental rest, self-care | 16 Aug 2021 | 00:25:33 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 132 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Mental health, mental rest, self-care.
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Hello once again! Thank you so much for tuning in! Well, I am going to call this our Mental health, mental rest, self-care episode.
Mental health, mental rest, self-care. At the beginning of August, I made the decision to step away from social media for the entire month. All through the month of July, I considered it as I realized I would basically have the month to myself. Dad is hanging out with his favorite child, kidding: my brother and his family are caring for dad this month. As a caregiver, and I would do it all over again, you are always on a high level of alert, as you are caring for another human being 24/7. So I decided that while dad was with my brother and his family, I would take myself off social media, get some mental rest, go to the beach and enjoy my birthday month. And I have been doing just that! I did consider that it might be an odd month for me to step away as it is a busy birthday month for my family. Most of my immediate family members have August birthdays! But I am sticking with my decision. I mean if it were an easy decision would it be worth it? Maybe, maybe not. It’s been really weird to see so many social media notifications. On day three I was close to 200 already! I wonder how many there will be on August 31st?! Well, not having to be on alert for 31 days and taking a break from social media, that combination does not happen very often. So I will be taking every advantage. I did put an out-of-office graphic on my Facebook and Instagram pages, I hope everyone realizes what is happening and that I am not ignoring them. Either way, my brain, and my body needed this. All of it! Look, Mental Health Awareness month is in May here in the US, but the fact is, we should be thinking about our mental health every month. Mental and emotional health is always important as we are able to make better decisions when our brains are rested and healthy. So what about you? Would you give it a try? Everyone’s mental health break is not the same. It does not have to be an entire month. It can be a week, it can even be a day, depending on what your life is like. The key is to recognize that you need a break, no matter what your life, your schedule, is like. The fact is, no matter how strong we think we are. We all need a break. We are living in different, and honestly, strange times. 2020 beat us all up, mentally and emotionally. And 2021 seems to be only slightly better. People are still dying from COVID, there are still employment issues as well as the ending of a moratorium on evicting renters from their dwellings here in The US. Life has always been hard. You have heard me say in the past: life is not for the faint of heart. We must try to take a break when we can. And I am thankful that I get this time. So, I’m heading to the beach. I am going to get caught up on my reading. I am going to get some extra sleep. I am also going to enjoy the birthday gifts. The flowers. I have two vases of flowers that I hope will live the entire month of August. Take a look at the pictures I am posting here in the show notes. I will also post them on my Pinterest page once I am back on social media on the first of September. I really hope you will take some time for yourself. Any time, some type of time. Recognize how you are feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally, and take heed. If you do, you will be a step ahead of the game of life. Before I let you go, I want to talk to you about something that I believe is very important and in my opinion tied into mental health: Mindfulness. I put some links here in the show notes to sites that discuss mindfulness, and mental health awareness. I also posted a link to a site on minority mental health. Be sure to check that out.
So, what is mindfulness? Definition: ‘Being mindful means being aware of your thoughts, emotions, and how you're feeling both physically and mentally. ... It means being aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment.’--Apr 20, 2018. Now for those of you who may be Believers, that definition may sound a little bit familiar. Check this out: ‘Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.’--Philippians 4:8. Sounds similar to the definition of mindfulness right? The bottom line is this, whether you are a Believer or not, it’s important to recognize that if you are struggling with negative thoughts, especially in the midst of the craziness of the last year and a half, it can be difficult to believe that things will get better, at least anytime soon. But even in the midst of all of this craziness, if you can set your mind to think on positive things, on good things, I believe it will help you make it through these difficult times.
Think about positive things: It can be something nice a friend, family member, or even stranger did for you. Think about how you feel when it is your day off from work. Think about how it feels to be able to sit in your favorite coffee shop again. Think of how you feel when you are in a good mood, and then remind yourself that you are responsible for your mood even if others are trying to get on your very last nerve. Renew your mind with good thoughts.
Check out some more suggestions below:
Some examples include:
Sounds simple, but it’s usually the simple things that work best. So, that’s all from me this month. I am going to go do all of the above, and I hope you will too. And don’t forget to check out the links in the show notes!
P.S. There are some wonderful admins and moderators managing the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group if you are in the group and have questions. Although I am not on social media this month, you may email me, my contact information is in the show notes. You may also Messenger me, but I will not be able to respond until September. So, see you in September!
https://www.minorityhealth.hhs.gov/minority-mental-health/
https://www.mindfulschools.org/
| |||
| Episode 131--Celebrating Six years of Podcasting! | 19 Jul 2021 | 00:40:36 | |
6th Anniversary episode Hello, and welcome to episode 131 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in! Welcome to my six-year podcastiversary ya’ll!!! I am so excited! But first... Today’s episode is brought to you by Omio. Omio is a travel-booking platform that makes planning a journey in Europe and North America effortless. Just enter your travel details and Omio will magically give you all the train, bus, flight, and ferry options for your journey—it’s never been simpler to book your first real vacation for 2021! Best of all: Using Omio saves you time and money! That’s a win-win situation right? Omio wants to help you leave your house this summer by offering five percent off your next booking. Just head to Omio.com and use the code OMIO5 at checkout. Valid until July 31st for new users on all modes of transport, it’s just the pick-me-up we need in 2021! Omio: Plan, book and love the journey. Terms & Conditions apply. https://omio.sjv.io/c/2544961/1078765/7385 END DATE: July 31st
Well! Six years! Whew! I’ve lost episodes, I’ve had to have Zoom techs help me find an episode in the middle of the night during my time, while the rep was on the other side of the planet during the middle of his day. I’ve had to ask an interviewee for a re-do. The most humbling thing a podcaster has to do. I have literally cried tears over an episode that got messed up. More than once! I’ve felt like putting away my podcasting gear and finding something else to occupy my time. And not neatly putting it away, throwing it across the room! Having started this podcast, this platform, from scratch; I recall when the number of downloads I now get in a day, was my total number for a whole month! That is what you call from scratch! And as time progressed I received emails, Facebook Messenger messages, voicemails, feedback, (I love feedback you all, hint hint) left on my childlessnotbychoice.net website. You know you can do that right? Just click the link that says ‘send a voice message, and you get 90 seconds to leave me a message. Some have had so much to say they’ve left several voicemails in a row! I love it! And speaking of hearing from people, I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution every month. My Patreon Contributors. Be sure to visit the Patreon site regularly as I will be placing more content in there just for you! More on that a little later. If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit http://www.patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your mailing address. It is secure in the Patreon platform. If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. So, as I was saying, I love to hear from you. In fact, while I was working on the content for this episode I received an email from a new listener. She told me a story that brought some memories rushing back into my brain! I thought I had forgotten those stories but whew! As childless not by choice women, many times we try to find ways to nurture. I mean we were born to nurture weren’t we? As I read her email I recalled how... Once, I was asked to mentor two sisters. They were pre-teens and the story was that their mother was MIA. I believe we had the mentorship arrangements for a few months until their mother came back on the scene. The end. That’s pretty much how it ended. I felt heartsick, and honestly, I felt used. On another occasion, I was asked by a young woman’s mentor to watch her baby while the two of them went to a local event. It was just a couple of hours, but when I took the baby back as soon as I was called, the mother seemed beside herself. The same woman who asked me to watch the baby, came by the house a few weeks later, with a little boy, about 5 or six years old. He was so energetic he almost tore up the house. A couple of days later she called with urgency and asked me to babysit the little boy. Saying she had to go out of town and had no one else to watch him. I got hip to her and told her no. No ma’am. I was pretty hard on myself. Why did it take me three events to see what was happening? To see that what comes naturally to most women was being used against me? You know what I am going to say next, right? Boundaries. It’s issues like these that make it important for us to create and maintain proper boundaries. I found a quote on Facebook: ‘A lack of boundaries often invites a lack of respect.’--TobyMac, one of my favorite musicians. There is nothing wrong with wanting to nurture. There is nothing wrong with the way we were created. There is nothing wrong with us. The key is to recognize these things about ourselves, and then manage them accordingly. If we don't, others will. You’ve probably heard that people recognize things in us we do not recognize in ourselves. We all have blind spots. Here’s the thing: There is no shame in who we are. We just have to find the right way to be who we are. The right way to be who we are with dignity. We all deserve to have the ability to maintain our dignity. You know, it was an honor to hear from this new listener as she detailed what was going on in her life. A couple of days later I received an email from someone who had just heard the podcast for the first time that day! Wow! Can I tell you that sometimes I suffer from total imposter syndrome!? Still! But who am I kidding? Thank you for reaching out and telling me how much the podcast helps you. It means a lot. You know, I am constantly speaking to an audience that is composed of people who are just finding out they will not be having children. That audience is not quite childless not by choice yet because you may be considering adoption, or thinking of starting IVF. But you did a search and found this podcast. Then there’s the group that has been on this journey for a few short years. You may just be coming into the acceptance phase. You still have your moments, but you can generally make it through your day, week, month, without falling apart...too badly, at the sight of a pregnant woman or a co-worker bringing her new baby to the office, Barely. Then there’s the group, like me, like some of you, who have been childless not by choice for many years. You still feel the little tug, but you can move on with your day without thinking of the incident that caused the tug most times. You seldom get triggered, but it can happen. You are definitely a leader in the childless not by choice space, and can definitely encourage other women in the community to realize that they will make it to a good place. That’s what a journey is all about right? We’re all on a journey, and we find ourselves in different places in, and on that journey. No part of the journey is more or less important than the other. The key is to continue on. To push through. To become what we were put on this earth to do. Keep going OK? Don’t give up. Omio So, thanks again to Omio for sponsoring this episode. Omio is a travel-booking platform that makes planning a journey in Europe and North America effortless. Just enter your travel details and Omio will magically give you all the train, bus, flight, and ferry options for your journey—it’s never been simpler to book your first real vacation for 2021! Best of all? Using Omio saves you time and money! That’s a win-win in our books! Omio wants to help you leave your house this summer by offering five percent off your next booking. Just head to Omio.com and use the code OMIO5 at checkout. Valid until July 31st for new users on all modes of transport, it’s just the pick-me-up 2021 needs! Omio: Plan, book and love the journey. Terms & Conditions apply. https://omio.sjv.io/c/2544961/1078765/7385 END DATE: July 31st So, changes are coming: First, Patreon: 1) Patreon--If you are a Patron, I have some surprises in store for you! Reminder, patrons are those who help the show financially, on a monthly basis. They signed up to do that by going to https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice and following the instructions to become a patron. There is actually a button on the upper right corner of the Patreon website that says Become a Subscriber. Follow the steps to subscribe at the dollar amount that you would like deducted monthly. Remember, I have a gift for you regardless of your giving level. There are four tiers: $5.00/$10.00/$25.00/$50.00 per month. According to a 2019 article from LifeHacker.com, 99% of podcasts make zero dollars. See the link to the article in the show notes. I don’t call something nothing, but I guess we all know what they mean. 1% of podcasters are making a living off of their podcast income, including being able to pay their podcast fees. I want to be very clear: I did not start this podcast to make money. People who create podcasts because they think there is money in it, just like the article says, they don’t last. They pod fade, as it is called in the podcasting industry. For 99% of podcasters, podcasting is a hobby or a passion project, they are doing it because they love it. And if they, we, have patrons who believe in what we’re doing, well, that’s just awesome! But I believe I should also advise you that I am actively searching for paid sponsors. Another question that I ask about in the survey. Again, more on the survey in just a moment. And that’s it about Patreon and money for this episode. I hope I haven’t lost you. If I haven’t, thanks for listening to this point. 2) Next, The Community. Many of you know by now that after months of thinking about this, I have decided to close out the Community site that was situated on the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net. In fact, by the time you hear this episode the site should already be closed and removed from the website. I emailed everyone who was a member of the community site, and I posted a message in our Facebook groups. I want to make it clear that I LOVE Community. I believe Community keeps us mentally and emotionally in tune with each other and with our journey. Community allows us to manage our loss in a healthy way. Until I decide what’s next Community-wise, I really do suggest that you join the Facebook group if you haven’t already, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan. Remember, that is a group for women only. There is also the Supporters of the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group. That group is for everyone. I also strongly suggest that you subscribe to the newsletter if you haven’t already. I’m not one to overload your email with stuff. Those of you who are subscribed can attest to that. But being subscribed will definitely keep you in the loop. Please subscribe or join a Facebook group to stay in the loop. And remember, feel free to email me just like the two listeners above did, at civilla@civillamorgan.com. Stick with me for a few more minutes. I want to share just a couple more things with you. In June I was happy to be a panelist on the Gateway Woman June webinar--’ Celebrating the Spinster’. I know, most of us who are single and never married would shudder at the thought of being called or calling ourselves spinster. But after that conversation, I totally understand why the author Donna Ward whom I interviewed, see episode 126, link in the show notes, used that word. You’ve got to listen to this conversation. It was an eye-opener for me when I got the light bulb moment. Be sure to listen. Also in the show notes is the link to the study Donna Ward mentioned in the conversation. I hope you will take the time to read it. We need to have a plan as we age, especially if we are single and childless. I’m not trying to scare you or stress you out, I just want you to think ahead. Well, I am happy to share the following with you: the founder of WCW--World Childless Week, Stephanie Joy Phillips, asked me to share the following with you: "Did you know that World Childless Week will be running for the fifth time this year from the 13th – 19th September? Each day has a different topic: our stories, childlessness and sexual intimacy, leaving a legacy, men matter too, have you considered adoption, we are worthy and moving forwards. You have the freedom to express yourself in any medium you prefer, from dancing to writing and everything in between. The founder, Stephanie Joy Phillips, welcomes your submissions from now until the 29th August. You don’t have to be a professional and you have the choice to remain anonymous. Stephanie says the most important thing to remember is the week is for us and about us, a way to share both our darkest secrets and happiest moments. The Childless Not By Choice community deserves to be seen and to be heard. You can find full details of how to make a submission and learn about all of the other events running during the week by taking a look at www.worldchildlessweek.net".
3) Soooo, the survey. There is a survey link in the show notes that I would really like you to take the time to take. Your responses to the survey questions will be read by myself, only. I am serious about making this podcast better and better. You don’t get to six years without making changes from time to time. And I am willing to do that, with your help. Your responses will help me as I continue to make changes and updates on this podcast, this platform. Are you in this with me? If so, I would love to hear your thoughts. Please complete the survey. The link is in the show notes. Survey link: Lots of changes right? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but change is good, no matter what you’ve heard about it. Especially when it makes things better and it’s not just for the sake of change. Sooooo, last but definitely not least, I would like even more eyes and ears on this podcast and this platform. I would like you to rate and review this podcast. It’s very easy to do. You can go to the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net, click on the Podcast tab, and under each and every episode you are given options such as share, leave a review, etc. Click leave a review, and follow the steps. Even easier, if you listen on Apple Podcast, tap on the Library tab, tap on the Childless not by Choice podcast, and scroll down to where you will see Ratings and Review. As I look it looks like there are more people rating it than reviewing it, but do what you are comfortable with either or both. If you listen on the Stitcher podcast player app, you can click the heart for a particular episode. On Overcast, you can click the star. Well, I think I am finished! I am so excited to still be podcasting and to still love podcasting, even during the crazy times. I am really excited to not only be a part of this awesome community called podcasting. But I am excited and honored that you are listening and that these episodes are making a positive difference in your life.
See you in August! Bye!
Articles of interest: https://lifehacker.com/youll-never-make-money-podcasting-1838640571 | |||
| Episode 130--About Father's Day, And Childlessness | 14 Jun 2021 | 00:20:38 | |
Intro: I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in. Body of episode: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! So, welcome to episode 130! This is the Father’s Day USA edition, but would you believe that none of the gentlemen whose voices you will hear in just a moment are American? I mean, not American, not in The USA. How did that happen? I don’t know, but you know what this just underscores the point that childlessness is worldwide. It happens in communities, villages, and hamlets around the world. Childlessness affects people of all financial statuses, races, colors, you get the point. I am so honored to have these guests for our Father’s Day episode. I reached out to these gentlemen and asked them to talk to us about how they manage Father’s Day and they agreed! You know, I really wanted their voices to be heard by the childless not by choice men who listen to this podcast, and of course the wives and other family members of childless not by choice men. You see, for the first few years of this podcast, I did not consider the fact that men could be childless not by choice? I mean seriously? I guess when we are deep in our own sorrows we can sometimes forget that others hurt too. So glad I finally figured it out! The other thing I figured out was that although I know what it is like to be a childless not by choice woman, I know how it feels, I know the heart hurt I can sometimes feel, Even though I know all of that, I do not know how a childless not by choice man feels. So here we are. I will let them tell you. And if you would like to, be sure to follow them on their platforms. I will put their information in the show notes.
Well, what did you think? Pretty awesome huh? If you are a childless not by choice woman who has a childless not by choice man in your life, please ask them to tune into this episode. Hey, they may listen to other episodes of this podcast which might help create a conversation. You know, I wonder how many men listen to this podcast? If you are a man who listens and wouldn’t mind saying so, drop me a message by going to the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net, and click on the link below that old-time telephone. You can also email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com. Don’t worry, I won’t use your full name. I never use full names. I can also use anonymous if that is what you prefer. You never know, you may be an encouragement to another man. So, before I let you go, I want to ask if you have not already, to be sure to fill out the survey. Link in the show notes. I am getting some really awesome feedback and it is greatly appreciated. I am reading every single response because your responses are going to help me with some decisions I am working on as I am now in year six of podcasting. Next month is my actual six-year anniversary, so more details next month. Well, thanks again to my patrons, and thanks again to these wonderful gentlemen that you just heard from. https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Survey: Tell me your thoughts by clicking the link below: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV
| |||
| Episode 129--Childless not by Choice Voices Give Hope on Mother's Day | 03 May 2021 | 00:32:39 | |
Intro: I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in. I would like to take a moment to thank the people who send me money every month. My Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your address. It is secure in the Patreon platform. If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Well, I have a really cool surprise for you! I reached out to several women from around the world and asked them to talk to us about how they manage Mother’s Day. Each woman had three minutes to tell us about them, what they do on Mother’s Day, and how you can follow them on their platforms. Yes, that’s right. I know you enjoy hearing my voice. Many have told me so. It’s humbling to hear how this podcast helps you manage your childless not by choice life episode after episode. And you know what, I hope I can continue to add value to your journey. In other words, I hope you will continue listening. But the ladies you are about to hear from, well I follow or have had some interaction with all but one of them. I want you to hear their voices because I feel they are adding a great deal of value to the childless not by choice community globally. I will be back to close out the episode after we have heard from these wonderful women. Body of episode content: Contributors: Bindi Shah Karen Enfield Nicci Fletcher Brandi Lytle Raphie Wagner Ina Diaz Berenice Smith Yvonne John Sarah Lawrence Jody Day Civilla Morgan
Closing: Well, what did you think? I hope these beautiful voices were a source of encouragement as you make your way through Mother’s Day, whenever that is for you. I mean I had no idea Mother’s Day was in December in Panama. Christmas and Mother’s Day in one month! Wow! Well, Mother’s Day is in May here in the US. It is a doubly tough month for me as this year will be two years since I lost my beloved mommy. Her birthday was in March. So, March is her birthday, and then she leaves us two months later, three days before Mother’s Day. I know I’m probably hitting all types of triggers. It is not my intention to cause triggers and tears, but I want to remind you that we are all on this journey together. There are differences, yes. Some of you do not/did not have a great relationship with your mothers. Some of you are married without children. Like me, some of you are single and childless. I could go on. But the bottom line is this: your journey, your path, your childlessness; does not affect your worth. It never has and it never will. You are worthy. Your path is worthy. Your journey is worthy. Hold your head up, look straight ahead, and keep walking. Happy Mother’s Day.
What is celebrated in May: May 1 is Lei Day in Hawaii May 2: World Tuna Day May 4–11: Root Canal Awareness Week May 5 is Cinco de Mayo May 8: No Socks Day May 9 is Mother’s Day (United States) May 14: Dance Like a Chicken Day May 31 is Memorial Day
Special THANK YOU to all of the wonderful women who took part in this episode! ‘Be responsibly selfish.’-Sarah Lawrence. ‘Mothering is a verb, not a noun.'-Jody Day.
My Patreon Patrons. To become a patron, please visit https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
| |||
| Episode 128 Who Would Steal a Baby? | 19 Apr 2021 | 00:32:10 | |
Intro: I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in.
Correction: I would like to issue a correction:
In episode 125--Are We Being Good Ancestors, the January 2021 episode; I made the comment that ‘only in America’, in reference to Kamala Harris becoming the first woman in such a high leadership role. I should have specified that for the first time in American history, Kamala Harris is the first woman to reach that level of leadership, Vice President of The United States of America, as there are obviously quite a few women running countries all over the world. A listener brought that to my attention and even sent me a really cool video highlighting these wonderful female world leaders. My apologies for the misspeak, and be sure to check out the really cool video. I watched it twice! I’ve also put a PEW Research article link here in the show notes, that discusses amongst other things, childless women, and women in leadership roles. It’s a great article.
WARNING: This episode may cause all types of triggers. I mean just look at the title. So please listen in a safe place. In fact, I will give you some time to hit the pause button or to get to a safe place, by telling you about my new habit. So, I was Googling what we, the general human beings, celebrate in the month of April, and well, it’s a lot. Some things are like, really? Others are quite serious: Here are some examples:
There are tons more, but I wanted to give you a list from the mundane to the quite serious. What stood out for me though, was National Take a Chance Day. I want to ask you to take a chance. It’s April, the beginning of the second quarter of 2021. Things are still iffy with the pandemic, but our governments are trying. And remember, none of us have been down this road before. We are all trying to figure things out. But even so, I believe there is something you can take a chance on. Why not start that book, that newsletter, a new exercise regimen, a food you have never had before. Talking to that person you are crushing on, or even talking to someone, a co-worker, someone you attend religious services with, who does not share your skin color or race. There are so many things we can take a chance on, that really do not include too much risk. What’s the worst that could happen? We may find that we don’t like that food we’ve always wanted to try, although it may have been the way it was prepared. We may find that the person we were crushing on felt the same about us, or that maybe they are not a good fit after talking to them. We may find that starting that book or newsletter was easier than we thought. Or that co-worker or fellow churchgoer is really nice, or maybe not. But how would we know if we don’t take a chance? So, National Take a Chance Day is April 23rd. And maybe you’re listening after the 23rd, but I say take that chance. If you decide to, let me know! Now, onto our story. Remember, this may be a tough one. You may ask, ‘why does she talk about mental health so much?’ But the fact is, I hear quite a bit that regardless of what subject matter you are teaching, helping, coaching on; you do not have to be perfect to teach or lead others. You just have to be slightly ahead of them on the journey. Well, I’ll let you in on a secret: most days I feel slightly ahead like I am really helping you. But some days, my heart feels a little sad over the things that did not happen for me. I think it’s natural. And what’s even more natural is to recognize those days and then keep moving. I don’t think we should ignore our hearts when they are feeling sad or retrospective. The reason I talk about mental health so much is because as childless not by choice women, we can often find ourselves inside our heads. And as we all know, inside our heads is not always the best place to be. It's the reason journaling is suggested whenever we have been through a traumatic experience or when we just need to get something off of our chest. I believe we should journal even if there is not much going on in our lives. Journaling is healthy for our minds and for our souls. Keeping things, anythings, bottled up inside is never a good idea. It will manifest either in a complete meltdown, usually at the wrong time, or a literal change in our personalities, and how we manage life. If you need help, ask a trusted person in your life to assist you in getting that help. Journal. Continue to tune into this podcast. Join our Facebook groups. Interact with the childless not by choice in the groups. Realize that you are not the only one. You are not on an island by yourself. It may sound trite. I know every situation is different. But I know community helps take us out of our own heads. So, back in 2004, Lisa Montgomery concocted a plan that would end in the murder of the just 23-year-old Bobbi Jo Stinnet. Link in the show notes to the article on the story. It sounds like yet another terrible murder until you realize that Lisa Montgomery drove several hours to Bobbi Jo Stinnett’s house under the guise of purchasing puppies, to carry out her plan. What she actually did when she got there was horrendous. What she did put her on death row. On January 13, 2021, she was put to death for what she did. The first woman in 60 years to be put to death in her state. I was initially not going to cover this story because Lisa had children, four of them. But I decided to go ahead. Because here’s the thing. Mental health is mental health. Lisa committed this horrendous murder in an attempt to manipulate a certain situation that was going on in her life. Her attorneys’ defense was that she had gone through a terrible childhood which included terrible abuse by her stepfather. Lisa needed help. The level of abuse she endured from the very young age of about eight years according to some accounts, led her to do what she did. According to one article, link in the show notes, Her second husband Kevin Montgomery noted that "The only thing I can think of is she wanted a baby so bad," It’s true, not everyone asks for help. In fact, most people believe they are just fine even though the entire world can see they clearly need help. And the fact is, in this world, you will seldom receive help if you do not ask for it. Unfortunately, even when you ask you may not get the assistance you need. Sometimes it is because you are asking the wrong people. But I strongly suggest that you ask, and you keep asking. When we do not have an advocate, and many of us do not; we will have to advocate for ourselves. Now I know, that is a learned behavior for many of us. It can be difficult, especially as women and in some societies, to stick up for ourselves. But please know, especially once you are an adult and no longer under the hand of those who should protect you but choose to abuse you instead, that you are worthy. You are worthy of obtaining the mental health you need. You are worthy of stopping the abuse that can continue from your parent’s home to your husband’s home. You deserve advocacy, even and especially self-advocacy. I have had the opportunity to interview several authors on this podcast. There is a book list on our Community page on the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net. I have also created guides on the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group. Guide number five is a list of podcast episodes where I have interviewed childless not by choice authors. Please tune into these episodes. Please get these author’s books. Reading books written by women like us helps us to realize and maintain good, positive mental health. It is a type of advocacy when we can see ourselves in books and hear ourselves on podcast episodes. Look, we have all been through some type of trauma in our lives. If we haven’t we will. I’m not wishing you ill will. But the fact is, life is hard. It’s filled with difficulty. It is filled with broken hearts, unfulfilled dreams, and unfulfilled plans. What do we do with all of that sadness? In 1998, Gloria Williams dressed up as a nurse and walked into a Jacksonville, FL hospital. Her mission: steal a baby. She was almost caught as two other nurses ran down the hall with another patient who was in labor. They reminded the ‘nurse’ that she was not supposed to be arm carrying a baby. The rules were that medical staff were supposed to move babies by bassinet only. Ms. Williams went back into the mother’s room, chatted her up some more, until the coast was clear, and walked out with the baby. She raised the baby as hers for the next 18 years, until the lie was finally brought to light in 2016. She was facing 22 years in prison. She got 18. Her daughter still sees Ms. Williams as her mother, in fact asking that they not toss her in jail and throw away the key. Well, Ms. Williams got 18 years, which she said was ‘cruel and unusual punishment.’ According to the ABC News article, link in the show notes: The NCMEC--National Center for Missing & Exploited Children says: ‘Many women who steal babies do so in a desperate attempt to keep a boyfriend or husband they fear may leave them if they don’t have a child to bind them together, analysis of past abduction cases has found. They are of child-bearing age and may already have children at home, the group says. They may pretend to be pregnant, they may have recently lost a baby due to miscarriage or they may suffer from a medical condition that prevents them from becoming pregnant themselves…’ So you see the profile the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children research proves. It is quite evident that not all baby abductions are done by childless not by choice women. Like any diabolical plan, there are different reasons people do these things. But the bottom line is that we have the research to prove that childless not by choice women don’t go around stealing babies. But we already knew that, didn’t we? The key for us is as I said before if we need help, we need to admit it and seek the help we need: therapy, journaling, Community. You know, as I researched for this episode I came across a Reddit post where a woman said that her co-workers were telling her she should not babysit because she might be tempted to steal the baby, something like that. There are all types of really silly people out there saying things to hurt people. Sometimes they mean to, sometimes they do not. Either way, the hurt happens. What will you do about it? Start now, therapy, journaling, Community.
Patreon: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who send me money every month. My Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your address. It is secure on the Patreon platform. If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
***Suicide prevention phone number: 800-273-8255
Research links:
This is the link to the video I mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUujjBqpxOg
This is episode 125--Are We Being Good Ancestors https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-125-are-we-being-good-ancestors/
The following links are stories and articles related to our discussion on theft of babies:
https://www.smh.com.au/world/unborn-child-theft-ex-husband-steps-in-20041223-gdkd8e.html
https://abcnews.go.com/Health/baby-abductors-gloria-williams-fit-similar-profile/story?id=53081106
https://www.missingkids.org/blog/2019/post-update/who-would-steal-a-baby
Articles of interest:
https://www.thebalanceeveryday.com/april-is-national-month-calendar-3514983
Episodes and articles of interest:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-89-unexplained-infertility-aka-idiopathic-infertility/
This is the Instagram interview from Macbeth.childfree.childless: https://www.instagram.com/p/CMw7oF-lpa_/?igshid=oz6d42xzm66j
https://www.thesun.ie/fabulous/6840289/kids-one-question-never-ask-woman-michelle-keegan/
My Patreon Patrons. To become a patron, please visit https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice If you would like to make a donation without becoming a patron, visit my Paypal account at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com .
Remember, subscription or following the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
| |||
| Episode 127--My Conversation with Mrs. Pennsylvania, Mrs. Marilisa Beatty | 15 Mar 2021 | 00:38:27 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 127 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in. I would like to take a moment to thank the people who send me money every month. My Patreon Contributors. Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your address. It is secure on the Patreon platform. If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Guest Bio: Marilisa Beatty is the current Mrs. Pennsylvania America 2020. She was crowned in August of 2020 and will be competing for the title of Mrs. America. Marilisa holds an M.A. in Strategic Communication from Villanova University. She is the CEO and Principal of Key Qualitative, Inc., and the Key Messages App - both businesses specializing in global, qualitative research. Marilisa is highly active in her community and is an advocate for fellow infertile and childless women to share their many gifts with the world through community service. As Mrs. Pennsylvania, Marilisa will dedicate the next year to continuing her service work, and promoting her platform: "Bigger than Infertility". In the coming months, she will be spearheading a nation-wide volunteer service hours drive within the childless and infertile community, to spread the message of living a life that is "Bigger than Infertility", while helping others in the world around us, and promoting the fact that WE ARE WORTHY! For more information on Marilisa, her platform, or volunteer hours drive as that project develops, you can find her on Instagram @mrs.pennsylvaniaamerica_2020. Welcome to the show Marilisa, it is so wonderful to introduce you to the childless not by choice community!
What are the similarities and differences between Miss and Mrs? Tell us about Key Qualitative Inc. and the Key Messages App, they both sound intriguing? Speaking of apps, tell us about that app you signed up for that time? So one day you and your husband moved from PA to CO site unseen? How did that come about? (Once they found out, she and her husband, that they could not have children, they had to reinvent themselves.) Tell us about your platform: Bigger than infertility?
Links to check out: Volunteermatch.com Google volunteer opportunities in your area biggerthaninfertility.org
Special thank you to: Marilisa Beatty--’ Take back that control from infertility.’ There is no wrong way to mourn. We are not less than, we are worthy.
Marilisa’s Contact Information: Instagram @mrs.pennsylvaniaamerica_2020 YouTube Channel: All of our Appearances Have Been Canceled https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8s5-VK3lX8
| |||
| Episode162-Why Won't They Listen? | 27 Apr 2024 | 01:11:37 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 162 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about? Why Won't They Listen? Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
HELLO EVERYONE WELCOME TO EPISODE 162! THIS IS A SPECIAL LIVE RECORDING AND I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO HEAR IT. AS SOON AS I HEARD IT WAS HAPPENING I BECAME EXCITED BECAUSE THE ISSUES SURROUNDING HEALTHCARE AND PEOPLE OF COLOR IS SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR QUITE SOME TIME.
I MEAN QUITE SOME TIME AS IN YEARS: SINCE MY HYSTERECTOMY. I WILL BE TALKING MORE ABOUT MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES NEXT EPISODE, AS WELL AS THINGS WE CAN DO, NO MATTER OUR RACE OR GENDER, TO GIVE US A BETTER CHANCE AT PROPER CARE WHEN INTERACTING WITH THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY.
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MRS. LASHONDA ROYAL, CHAPTER PRESIDENT, MS. ANNA DIEVEUIL-HORNBUCKLE, PUBLIC RELATIONS, AND ALL THE LADIES OF ZETA PHI BETA SORORITY, INC., FOR ALLOWING ME TO ATTEND THIS MEETING. BY THE WAY, IT WAS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.
PLEASE NOTE: SOME CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE IS GEARED TO WOMEN WHO HAVE CHILDREN. PLEASE ALSO NOTE THAT ANY AUDIENCE MEMBER NAMES MENTIONED HAVE BEEN REMOVED. THE NAMES OF THE PANEL MEMBERS HAVE NOT. LASTLY, NAMES OF MEDICATIONS HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THE AUDIO AS WELL. THANKS AGAIN FOR TUNING IN.
Articles/links of interest: https://www.personneltoday.com/hr/childless-employee-edi-unseen-minority/
Special thank you to:
Mrs. Lashonda Royal, Chapter President, Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Ms. Anna Dieveuil-Hornbuckle, Public Relations Solid Rock Community Church
My contact information:
| |||
| Episode 126--She I dare not Name, A Spinster’s Meditation on Life, My Conversation with Author Donna Ward | 15 Feb 2021 | 00:48:22 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 126 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in. What is today’s show about? Well, today we have a guest! I am so excited! But before I introduce her to you, I want to say a big thank you to my patrons! Patreon Contributors: Thank you for your monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you are not yet a patron, join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, by visiting patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! And if you prefer to give a one-time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions go toward the monthly maintenance fees of this podcast. Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. So, our guest! Intro: Donna Ward is a writer, editor, and publisher with qualifications in Classics, Economics, and Social Work. She worked in policy development, welfare management, and community development before establishing her private practice which offered individual and group psychotherapy, and an organizational consultancy offering, strategic planning, conflict resolution, research, and report writing. In her retirement, she established the literary journal, indigo, and the micro-press Inkerman & Blunt. Her prose has appeared nationally and internationally including in the Griffith Review, Huffington Post, and The Big Issue. Her memoir, She I Dare Not Name: A Spinster’s Meditations on Life is available now. And that is what we are going to discuss today, She I Dare Not Name, A Spinster’s Meditations on Life’ Body of episode content: Welcome, Donna Ward! Thank you for joining us! I kept running your title through my mind, why ‘she I dare not name’? Who is she?
I thought about the organization Aging Without Children, are you familiar with them? I’ve put a link in the show notes. So, spinster...what feedback if any, did you get on the use of that word? Is it almost like a curse word?
‘I write to shatter the stereotype that shadows me in a singular narrative, a narrative that writes me out of my own society.’ Whoa! That was deep! I guess that is pretty much like the rude commentary and questions we get from friends, family, and strangers alike right?
I read a review by Shelley McInnis. Have you read it? I put a link in the show notes.
Could you read us a portion of an essay?
What can the woman, or the man, who is enduring a particular type of loneliness, deep loneliness that only someone who never married or had children would understand, do to deal with it when they see it coming?
Where can we find your book and what is your contact information?
Links of note: https://www.thecut.com/2016/09/25-famous-women-on-being-alone.html https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19932102/famous-quotes-single-ladies/ Dante’s Inferno
Special thank you to: Donna Ward Donna’s Contact Information: Booktopio Donna-ward.com.au
My contact information:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 125--Are We Being Good Ancestors? | 26 Jan 2021 | 00:24:49 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 125 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you that you can live a joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, life. I also welcome you if you are not childless not by choice. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thank you for tuning in. Well, it’s still January as of this recording, so Happy New Year! Happy 2021! If you’re here in The US, let’s just say we’ve already gotten off to a pretty rocky start, but it has also been a quite historic start as well. It would be disingenuous at episode 125, to pretend we have not had some sort of relationship the past five years. You have listened to me through the loss of my first podcast producer. It was a shocker as it came without warning. I had to ask a mutual friend, believe it or not, to edit the episode that was due. At that time I had no clue how to edit an episode. Now I have much more insight and knowledge on how to edit but I would still rather pay someone else to do it. You have listened as I talked about the loss of my mom and how during the time of her illness I went from two episodes per month to one, which is where we are now. And where I believe we will be for the foreseeable future as I continue to care for my dad and maintain all of the other things I have on my plate. You listened to me talk about how much I miss her and how I felt some in the healthcare community failed her. Thanks for listening. So, that rocky start I was talking about: I cannot begin to tell you how utterly angry, dismayed, shocked, and scared I was. All of those emotions wrapped up into one. I could not believe what I was seeing when Americans stormed their own country’s capital building chanting death to certain leaders. I posted on my Facebook page that day: ‘Too often we don’t know what we have until it’s gone, taken away, given away.’ I watched the insurrectionists try to give away the last 240 years and it broke my heart. My deepest condolences to the family of the police officer that was murdered. My deepest thanks are added to the millions who watched that handful of police officers try to protect the country’s seat of power. And the historic start: The first woman, a woman of color became a national leader in America. Her father is Jamaican, and her mother was Indian--both immigrants. Only in America folks! I pray for the safety of our new president and new vice president daily. I pray that even though there are some that want to see them fail on an epic level, there are more of us that are for them than there are against them. I have to tell you though, that I also prayed for our previous president. He needed prayer. This may not be a popular stance with many, but as a Believer, it is mandated that I do so. See the link in the show notes for proof. That is all I will say about all of the above. But you know what? It ties in well with today’s subject matter. Before we move into today’s subject matter, two things: the first episode of 2021 was supposed to be my interview with Mrs. Pennsylvania 2020, except I um, messed up on the recording and did not know until my podcast producer went to record it. Totally my fault. So that interview has been rescheduled and will be airing hopefully in March. Thank you for your patience!
And
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who send me money every month. My Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much! If you are not yet a Patron and would like to join in, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you, so be sure to leave your address. It is secure in the Patreon platform. If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
So, what is today’s show about?
Jonas Salk (1914-1995) was the American medical researcher who developed the first polio vaccine in the mid-1950s.(Sep 24, 2014.) And then he refused to patent the vaccine, making it easier for more children to have the opportunity to be vaccinated. That means he gave up a lot of cash! I wish more people knew that no one lives forever, and you can’t take it with you. It appears Jonas Salk knew this. But did you know that he said: ‘Our Greatest responsibility is to be good ancestors.’--Jonas Salk. I believe that is what he was doing when he opted not to patent the vaccine.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I never thought of myself as an ancestor. Not just because I am childless but because I’m still here. I don’t really want to think about myself in the past tense. However, I guess as we get older we start to think about our mortality. At least most people of a certain age do right? There are that few who believe they will live forever, but as far as I know death comes to all of us. At the risk of continuing down a morbid path, let me move on. I can’t remember where I first came across this Jonas Salk quote, but I do recall it stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t know what to think at first. In split seconds, my brain went from ‘well that leaves me out of the mix’, to ‘wait, I can still be a good ancestor, an ancestor in general; even though I never had kids. I mean it was seconds from one thought to the next. In fact, as I write the content for this episode, this has happened to me twice. This as in, I immediately went to ‘well, that leaves me out of the mix since I don’t have kids’, to wait I can still take part. You see, I belong to a Facebook group where they asked everyone to join in this game where you include your child’s name in the response. Immediately I thought ‘well that leaves me out’. And then I thought well, ‘I can include the word childless where my child’s name would have been placed. I wondered what the response would be to my inserting the word ‘childless’ until I saw multiple other women saying things like, ‘what name do I use if I don’t have kids ?’ or ‘Well I included my pet’s name since I don’t have kids.’ It turned out to be a fun game and I’m glad I played. Look, I realize we are all in different places in our journey. I know that game may have sent some into anywhere from a tailspin to a pinprick, as Jody Day says. But what I want you to know is that you can take situations like these: a quote that you initially feel does not pertain to you or a game that you do not think you can join in because of your childlessness; and turn them around to your advantage. You do what’s best for you where you are. Don’t allow childlessness to keep you out of the game. And don’t let the game make you feel bad about your childlessness.
Being a good ancestor...
Well, thank you for tuning in to our first episode of 2021! There are more great episodes coming. Next month you will hear my interview with Australian author Donna Ward, on her book ‘She I Dare Not Name, A Spinster’s Meditations on Life’. Yup, you heard right! So be sure to tune in for that episode in February! In the meantime, remember we meet via Zoom every couple of months, but the link will only be placed in our Facebook group. The next meeting is slated for February. Be sure to browse through the show notes here for details on how to contact me or anything else having to do with the podcast. Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! Happy New Year!
Research links: https://www.salk.edu/salk-together-2/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/human-impact_b_916396
Podcast episodes you may also like to listen to: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/
‘First of all, then, I urge that petitions (specific requests), prayers, intercessions (prayers for others) and thanksgivings be offered on behalf of all people, 2 for [a]kings and all who are in [positions of] high authority, so that we may live a peaceful and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.’--1 Timothy 2:1-2.
My contact information:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Or just go to the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net .
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 124--Imposter Syndrome and Mental Health | 14 Dec 2020 | 00:35:42 | |
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode 124! Imposter Syndrome! Before we get into the episode... Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. To join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Your financial gifts go toward paying my podcast producer, paying my podcast hosting fees, buying ads on social media, and all things podcast-related. Every dollar helps. If this podcast has helped you, help me help someone else which is what happens when someone sees an ad or hears an episode. https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode content:
So... When do you most feel like an imposter: When attending an event and immediately feeling like an imposter when all of the women start talking about their kids. At work when a co-worker visits the office with her newborn. You wish you had a way of slipping out without being noticed, just like an imposter would do. When you are the CEO of a company or the Prime Minister of a country, and another woman says you cannot lead because you have no real investment in the future of the company/country. When your siblings show up with their kids and well… When people assume you have children and they make commentary such as ‘you wouldn’t want that to happen to your kids would you?’
When someone says ‘you don’t have kids so you won’t understand’.
Where do you belong as a CNBC woman?
So, we’re heading into a new year. 2020 has been beyond crazy right. I mean you know the saying ‘you can’t make this stuff up’, has new meaning. But before we get there, about the Holidays. Well, usually we would be discussing how to deal with family and friends, maintaining healthy boundaries, leaving the party when we were good ready, etc. Most of us aren’t heading to any parties right now, right? So we’re most likely in the opposite place: seclusion, furlough, maybe even loneliness? Totally opposite direction. What to do about being in a different place this holiday season? Well, none of us have been down this path before. I mean the last pandemic was 100 years ago. So I am not going to pretend I know everything to say here. What I will say to you is what I would say to me:
So, there you have it. Imposter syndrome and mental health. Please take this information with you into 2021. I don’t know what is in store for us, but one way or the other, we must keep up our strength and our hope.
Well, two more things before I go:
Links to stories you might be interested in: https://blog.zencare.co/imposter-syndrome/
Episodes of interest: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-114-the-holidays-the-loneliest-time-of-the-year-2/
My contact information:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 123--I'm going on hiatus, stop by for details! | 07 Sep 2020 | 00:33:39 | |
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode 123. Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Stitcher Premium info: Your Success Dashboard: https://app.periscopedata.com/shared/cab7b213-4764-4c6a-acb1-6cda055b4c4d? Stitcher Premium Promo Copy: Wherever -- or however -- you’re listening to this podcast right now, take a moment and check out Stitcher. Those of you listening on Stitcher already get why. For those who don’t know what Stitcher is, it is a FREE podcast app for iPhone and Android and home to over two hundred and sixty thousand podcasts. Stitcher also has smart recommendations, playlists, a car mode, even a sleep timer! While the Stitcher app is free to use, they also offer a Premium subscription service called Stitcher Premium that has exclusive bonus episodes from top shows, exclusive shows from top hosts, and ad-free listening all for only $4.99 per month or $34.99 per year. Check out Stitcher Premium today and remember to use Promo code NOTBYCHOICE. Today's Show: Well, let’s talk about a few things, get caught up, and all that good stuff, and be sure to listen to some words of encouragement I want you to hold onto. And then I’ll see you in December! Reminder, I am on hiatus October and November. No new episodes. But there are 123 episodes including this one, in the library. Go to the website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net, or your favorite podcast player app. You know the drill! And, remember the August newsletter is out. Be sure to check it out. Going forward, there will be a newsletter every quarter starting in January. Another way to stay in touch is through the Facebook group, and through the Community group on the website. I will be in both groups from time to time throughout my hiatus. Come on in and join us for conversation. By the way, I will be having a Zoom call in September. The link will be posted in the Facebook group. Other places you can find me include Twitter, @civilla1, LinkedIn, and Pinterest. I love Pinterest you all. It’s one of my favorite places to be. Speaking of the Facebook group, the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group, I took a number of episodes from the podcast library and segmented them by subject matter. Maybe there is a subject matter you want to know more about? Check out the units! So there you are. I won’t completely disappear. I will be around, just not creating new episodes. If you go back a few episodes in the library, you will recall I started this last year after I lost my mom. I really needed a mental and emotional break. I miss her so much. It’s been a little over a year and I’m still trying to catch my breath. Taking these two months off means the world to me.
Well, I wanted to leave you with a few words of encouragement:
I have a question for you. Are you doing what you dreamed you would do when you were a kid? In some cases it may not be practical anymore, but what are you doing now, even in a hobbyist way, that is fulfilling to you? If you are doing something fulfilling, kudos to you. If you are not and you are feeling stuck, feeling sorry for yourself, maybe even feeling like your life is wasting away as you watch others living their best life, it is time to turn things around. Start on a small scale. Start by writing it down. Whatever ‘it’ is. That is where you start your plan. You can even journal as you make your way through the process. Don’t let your life go because things didn't turn out as expected. Fight for you. Fight for your peace. Fight for your boundaries. Life is short and you only get one. Whose life are you living? Even if it is not the life you expected to live, make sure you are living the life you are choosing to live. Yes, there are tradeoffs. Some of us are caring for family members, in fact, we have family and friends that we must and we should interact with. No one is an island. But the key to keeping healthy, kind, firm boundaries, is knowing when to say no, when to say yes, and when to rest; to yourself and to everyone else. Don’t give up on you because life pulled a 2020.
***PLEASE NOTE A CHANGE: I’VE UPDATED THE NAME OF THE SUPPORTERS GROUP TO: SUPPORTERS OF THE CHILDLESS NOT BY CHOICE COMMUNITY WITH CIVILLA MORGAN
Special thank you to: You! Thanks for listening. Thanks for your feedback. Thanks for allowing this podcast to walk with you on your journey to relevance and joy.
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/
My contact information:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’. | |||
| Episode 122--Mapping the journey, my conversation with Ruth Berkowitz, MA | 17 Aug 2020 | 00:42:44 | |
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode 122--Mapping the journey, living the life of a childless not by choice woman. Before I introduce you to our guest, let me first say thank you to my Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Stitcher Premium info: Wherever -- or however -- you’re listening to this podcast right now, take a moment and check out Stitcher. Those of you listening on Stitcher already get why. For those who don’t know what Stitcher is, it is a FREE podcast app for iPhone and Android and home to over two hundred and sixty thousand podcasts. Stitcher also has smart recommendations, playlists, a car mode, even a sleep timer! While the Stitcher app is free to use, they also offer a Premium subscription service called Stitcher Premium that has exclusive bonus episodes from top shows, exclusive shows from top hosts, and ad-free listening all for only $4.99 per month or $34.99 per year. Check out Stitcher Premium today and remember to use Promo code NOTBYCHOICE.
Ruth Berkowitz, MA, is a Wellness Coach for Individuals, Children, and Families. Ruth says that her mission is to help raise the Divine Feminine back to her rightful place within the woman, the family, and society. She holds a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in Spiritual Psychology. Sociology, Family Systems, Mindful Meditation and Movement, and Creative Expression inform her healing work with herself and others. Ruth is 49 years old and childless not by choice by circumstance. Her intention is to see the opportunities for healing and growth in this loss while carrying the grief with grace and acceptance. Her heartfelt aspiration is to empower herself and others to reframe their life story and find purpose and fulfillment as the nurturing, generative women they already are.
Body of episode content: So, one of the main reasons I wanted to interview you was because I wanted the listeners to hear the ‘day to day’ of a childless not by choice woman. Someone other than myself. What is the most challenging part of being childless not by choice? (My answer is the Self-Judgment/Powerlessness, i.e. Shame/Sense of Failure.) How do you work with yourself when these come up? In what ways are you able to express the nurturing and generativity at your core? What are the blessings/silver lining? How do you cope with triggers? How do you cope with the grief? What is Spiritual Psychology and how do you apply it? But I mean to be Childless Not By Choice?
Episode links: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/about-the-children/
Ruth Berkowitz
My contact information:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 121--Why doesn't the church talk about childlessness | 22 Jul 2020 | 00:29:13 | |
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode 121! Today’s show... Well, before we get into today’s show, why doesn't the church talk about childlessness? I would like to stop and recognize that this month makes five years of podcasting, speaking to, and encouraging the hearts of the childless not by choice community globally! The platform itself is slightly older, with the podcast becoming the center of the platform. It does not make the other aspects of the platform: the blog, the community, the website, any less important, but honestly, the podcast is what really gets the word out. Once you listen to the episodes hopefully you are curious enough to come on in and explore the rest of the platform. If I stopped podcasting today I would still see this as one of my great accomplishments. I don’t mean this in a self-congratulatory way. I believe the goal of creating a place for the childless not by choice community to come to; whether it is the Facebook groups, the newsletter, or the podcast; a place has been carved out for us, the childless not by choice demographic with this podcast, this platform. And I am grateful God chose me to do it. I am even more grateful that you are listening because that means you are finding value, getting help, and finding commiseration. Community. And you know how I feel about Community. Once again, thank you! So, there is a lot more in the show notes than what I have said. Please, please visit the show notes when you listen to the episodes. Every episode is chock full of great information. When I listen to podcasts I browse the show notes while I am listening. Unless I am driving of course. Never browse show notes while driving! In fact, as a podcaster, I listen to podcasts about podcasts. Those particular podcasts I listen to while I am at home, at my desk, because I sometimes take notes and follow up on suggestions literally while listening to the podcast. Some people have told me that they listen to this podcast without distraction. Some of my podcasts I listen to at night. Find your podcast listening groove. See what works for you. Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Stitcher Premium info: Your Success Dashboard: https://app.periscopedata.com/shared/cab7b213-4764-4c6a-acb1-6cda055b4c4d?
Stitcher Premium Promo Copy: Wherever -- or however -- you’re listening to this podcast right now, take a moment and check out Stitcher. Those of you listening on Stitcher already get why. For those who don’t know what Stitcher is, it is a FREE podcast app for iPhone and Android and home to over two hundred and sixty thousand podcasts. Stitcher also has smart recommendations, playlists, a car mode, even a sleep timer! While the Stitcher app is free to use, they also offer a Premium subscription service called Stitcher Premium that has exclusive bonus episodes from top shows, exclusive shows from top hosts, and ad-free listening all for only $4.99 per month or $34.99 per year. Check out Stitcher Premium today and remember to use Promo code NOTBYCHOICE.
As I mentioned in the last episode, on Mother’s Day, a couple of months ago at this point, we had a nice little get together in our Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group. It was nice to get together with other women who may have varying degrees of difficulty dealing with Mother’s Day. By the time you hear this episode, we would have had our July meeting. If you are not already a member of the Facebook group, come on over, answer the pre-entry questions, and join us in the group! If you do not fit the demographic, there is a Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Supporters group as well. So one of the ladies in our Facebook group, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan, asked why doesn’t the church talk about childless women...you know, barren women as the Bible calls us. And I got to thinking that the reason is the Bible never talked about a barren woman who remained barren. All of the barren women in the Bible’s stories ended up having children. So then church folk are left to think from a wide range of thoughts, ‘just give it time’, to ‘what did you do wrong?’ to ‘What are you doing wrong?’ I was talking to a friend about the fact that I was working on this episode recently, and she said ‘well what about Anna? So let’s talk about Anna for a minute. Anna, not to be confused with Hannah. Because Hannah begged God for a child and ended up with six including her firstborn who would eventually become one of the most known prophets in the Old Testament, Samuel. Not only was Samuel a prophet, but he was also a counselor to kings. But Anna. Well, according to The New Testament, Luke 2:36, Anna was a prophetess who was quite elderly by the time she is mentioned. She had been married for seven years and then widowed for more than 80 years. She never remarried instead spending her time in the synagogue praying and fasting. She met Jesus when his mother brought him to the temple as a baby. As far as I have researched, she never had children. That’s Anna. Everyone else, all of the other barren women mentioned in the Bible who were childless and cried out to God, got an answer of ‘yes’. Rachel, Hannah, Sarah. Young, old, somewhere in between; they got their child. Sarah had Jacob. Rachel had Joseph and Benjamin. Hannah had Samuel and five other children. Oh, by the way, the woman with the issue of blood, she may have had children before the issue. There is no mention of that, nothing came up in my research. The question and the title of this episode is ‘Why doesn’t the church talk about childlessness?’ But my question is ‘Why didn’t God talk about childlessness?’ Childlessness as in the woman who never got the child? I have some ideas. Some of them may seem like cop-outs, but well, here goes:
But listen to this: if a woman was wealthy enough, they could have a servant have a child for them. Which is what Sarah, Abraham’s wife, and Rachel--wife of Jacob, initially did. They had their maids sleep with their respective husbands and then raised the children their maids had as their own. Until in Sarah’s case, it was no longer convenient. Sarah’s maid had Ishmael, but then her maid began to forget her station in life, and Sarah wasn’t having any of that, she tried to have them--the maid and her son, her husband’s son, sent away. You can read the story. The link is in the show notes. We now live in a society where although we run into the random person who does not understand our childlessness and the pain that can come with that childlessness, I believe the women in that time had it much harder than we do today. Yes, if we are childless and in some cases also husbandless, we have concerns about our elder years, we are the sole breadwinner for our households, people wonder what is wrong with us, really? Back then, a woman’s son was her retirement plan. Basically, the more children she had, the better her elder years looked. But back to the question, why doesn’t the church talk about childlessness? Why wasn’t there a direct story in the Bible about a woman who never had children? Yes, there was Anna. But why wasn’t her childlessness confirmed or highlighted? Why wasn’t there a direct story about a woman like me? Like you, if you are listening as a childless not by choice woman? Could it be that there are so many problematic layers to the human condition, and in this case the issues around childlessness, that the church, like society, just wants every aspect of our lives to fit into neat little boxes, and when an issue does not fit, well, better to look the other way, remain silent, highlight the miracle baby, and highlight the woman who has children. We all love the cute, cuddly little people right? So if you cannot have one, well…it’s not like the church does not address the other issues people come into the church with such as alcoholism, adultery, lack, even hate. But childlessness? Well, maybe you’re not praying correctly. Or back to what I said earlier, something is wrong with you, you are doing something wrong, you did something wrong. In too few cases, the church talks about the true-life fact that God does not answer every prayer the way we want or ask. Some women will not marry? Some men will not marry. Some couples will not have children. Does that make us weird? Does your church have a singles ministry for people to be normal in their singleness, without feeling like they are attending a meat market every time there is a singles event? Could we have a singles event where we can allow people to possibly meet their future spouse organically? Can we have conventions where we have a breakout session for childless couples, childless women, etc? Is it possible for the church to see us instead of looking the other way instead of treating us like unanswered prayers? I have hope. We are living in a time of great change. And that great change is including the church whether the church likes it or not. I am hoping that change will allow for more inclusivity of those of us who tend to live on the fringes, in the cracks, you know, as in ‘we tend to fall into the cracks’. And then we pretend we’re OK but we know that on some level we are being judged. Judged that we did not get the spouse. Judged that we did not have the child. Judged because our family of one or if you did get the spouse, a family of two; doesn’t quite look ‘normal’. Look, the fact is I don’t know why God didn’t mention the barren woman, but I do know that’s no excuse for the church not to mention her because there are other issues God did not go into great detail about, but the church has a definite opinion on how to deal with those issues. I think the church may be having a tough time dealing with childlessness because there is a scripture that says ‘"And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth…"--Genesis 1:28. Most theologians take that to mean go and have tons of kids. And hey, maybe so. But so time back I had a conversation with someone who said that in the case of childlessness, it could also mean for us to be fruitful in our work. Whatever work we are given to do. Childlessness does not mean we do not have a calling on our lives. It does not mean that we should be forgotten, blamed, or ignored. It simply means that our hopes and dreams did not work out the way we expected and that God does not say yes to every prayer.
Articles, links, and all that good stuff:
Special thank you to: To the wonderful ladies in the Facebook group. To the wonderful supporters in the Supporters group. To the wonderful listeners all over the world. To those who have subscribed to the podcast. To those who have subscribed to the newsletter, thank you for your patience. To those who give financially on a monthly basis.
My contact information:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Also, remember, if you would like to be a guest blogger, remember to click the link on the bottom right of the home page of the childlessnotbychoice.net website for instructions.
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 120--Let's Talk About IT | 18 Jun 2020 | 00:49:25 | |
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode --120! When I started this podcast I had no idea. I could just end that sentence right there. I mean, no idea what I was doing, no idea of the deep valley moments of lost episodes, ruined episodes, tears of frustration. And the mountaintop moments where I got the interview! The authors, the suggested episode topics from people listening from halfway around the world. The emails and Facebook Messenger messages from people who wanted to remain anonymous. The words of encouragement, the care package from a listener in Hawaii or funding for lavalier mics from a listener way in the northern part of our planet. I had no idea. I had no idea I would make it to 120 episodes. Podfading is a real thing. It typically happens around episode 7. You just realize this podcasting thing is not for you, or maybe life gets in the way. And you stop, promising yourself you will be back. But… And life did happen to me. As my mom became more ill, I went from two episodes per month to one. I’m on my third podcast producer in five years. I have decided that going forward I will take a two-month break in October and November. That saved my sanity last year. I’m humbled. I’m thankful to you for listening and tuning in month after month. I’m thankful for your episode suggestions. I am thankful for your letters and notes as they encourage me just as much as you say this podcast encourages you. Every once in a while I still have imposter syndrome. But I push through and keep writing and creating. I mean, am I an imposter if I’ve been writing since I was 11 years old? Maybe. But I love to write, I love to create with my writing. And look, there’s a 120 episode just about five-year-old podcast here. I had no idea! Thank you! Now please tell someone about this podcast! Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Stitcher Premium info: Your Success Dashboard: https://app.periscopedata.com/shared/cab7b213-4764-4c6a-acb1-6cda055b4c4d? Stitcher Premium Promo Copy: Wherever -- or however -- you’re listening to this podcast right now, take a moment and check out Stitcher. Those of you listening to Stitcher already get why. For those who don’t know what Stitcher is, it is a FREE podcast app for iPhone and Android and home to over two hundred and sixty thousand podcasts. Stitcher also has smart recommendations, playlists, a car mode, even a sleep timer! While the Stitcher app is free to use, they also offer a Premium subscription service called Stitcher Premium that has exclusive bonus episodes from top shows, exclusive shows from top hosts, and ad-free listening all for only $4.99 per month or $34.99 per year. Check out Stitcher Premium today and remember to use Promo code NOTBYCHOICE.
Let’s talk about it. There is a pandemic going on, there is social unrest in America, we watched a man murdered on video in broad daylight, in 2020, solely because of the color of his skin. And here we are thinking it's the 21st century and we are more civilized. Other countries marched in commiseration and agreement with us, that police brutality against people of color must stop. We saw you on the news, and we thank you, from New Zealand to South Korea, to Australia, to Scotland, to South Africa, to Canada. The Indigenous people of Australia, the Maori, The Native Americans, we see you. We are all human first. And if we are alive, if we made it through the birth canal, we deserve at the minimum, basic human respect. There is social unrest in other countries, for various reasons. Wherever you are listening from there is probably some breaking news. There’s always breaking news. And there is a lot of stress. Our own personal stresses. Bills, joblessness due to the pandemic or not, caring for loved ones, worrying about our personal future and the future of our respective countries. Yes, we childless not by choice women have worries too. I have said it in previous episodes, we pay taxes into school districts to which we have no kids enrolled. That’s not a hater or hateful comment. It is a fact. We have concerns. They may be different concerns than those with children, but they are just as valid. Whew, talk about stress! What to do?! Well, I talk about what to do in episode 118. How to keep the stress levels down, getting mental health help by talking to a trusted friend or counselor. And taking time for yourself. I talk about recognizing and dealing with triggers in episode 94. Be sure to check out both episodes, links are in the show notes. Also in the show notes is a four-minute recording called ‘Privilege is like a Blanket’. Check it out! So, in light of everything that is going on, and although I created that four-minute episode I mentioned about privilege being like a blanket, I want to go deeper. Because I would bet all I have, that America is not the only country where racism exists. And more to the point, it is not the only country where implicit bias and racism are built into every part of the human existence. From kindergarten to the nursing home, people of color have been and are being treated with implicit bias. I put a link in the show notes about a doctor, an educated man, who is also a lawmaker, asking if the virus is affecting people of color more because we’re not washing our hands. Yes, it’s 2020 and people with this filthy mindset are walking among us. It’s scary. This guy could have been my doctor. I’m not a mind reader. Discernment of his stupidity might be the only thing that might have saved me from continuing to go to him. So, if implicit bias exists in all aspects of our lives, even healthcare, what about the healthcare of childless not by choice women? Aha! Great question. Women who have been sterilized down through history: It's estimated that as many as 25-50 percent of Native American women were sterilized between 1970 and 1976. Forced sterilization programs are also a part of history in Puerto Rico, where sterilization rates are said to be the highest in the world. Google--Jan 29, 2016 Imagine going to the hospital for a common surgical procedure such as an appendectomy, only to find out afterward that you’d been sterilized. In the 20th century, untold numbers of women of color endured such life-altering experiences in part because of medical racism. Black, Native American, and Puerto Rican women report being sterilized without their consent after undergoing routine medical procedures or after giving birth. Others say they unknowingly signed documentation allowing them to be sterilized or were coerced into doing so. The experiences of these women strained relations between people of color and healthcare personnel. In the 21st century, members of communities of color still widely distrust medical officials. Women who have had surgeries they did not need, and yes this can happen to women of any race: An estimated 7.5 million unnecessary medical and surgical procedures are performed annually with the number of unnecessary hospital stays around 8.9 million a year... So, as we close out here, I wanted to remind you of a couple of things. If you are a member of the Childless not by choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group, we had a little get together in our Facebook group on Mother’s Day! And now we are planning on having another get together in July, but this time it will be in Zoom so that more of us can come on video. Facebook only allows two people at a time. That’s not a real party! So, there is a poll going in the group, be sure to choose the date that works for you. Majority wins. I will post the date and time in the group, and the Zoom link a few minutes before we start. Be sure to check out the show notes. I put links in there to the two episodes I discussed in this episode, and there’s a bunch of other stuff. Always check the show notes!
Articles of note: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/bonus-episode-privilege-its-like-a-blanket/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-118-that-virus-sets-new-boundaries/
Articles used for this episode: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/11/us/politics/steve-huffman-african-americans-coronavirus.html https://www.thoughtco.com/u-s-governments-role-sterilizing-women-of-color-2834600 https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/11/health/virginia-doctor-hysterectomies-trnd/index.html
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Until next time, Bye! | |||
| Bonus episode--Privilege--It's Like a Blanket | 03 Jun 2020 | 00:04:43 | |
As a Podcaster, fortunate to have a platform where I speak to and encourage the childless not by choice global community, I feel humbled and thankful. I could not continue on, however, without addressing the social and civil unrest, AND the rightful marches of protests that are currently happening in the United States where I live. I am heartbroken to have had to see in 2020, a man murdered in broad daylight by the person who was supposed to protect and serve him. The first time I shed tears was the day his brother arrived at the site where he was murdered. My heart broke yet again. Every time I see his brother I cry. It could have been my family member. It's the 21st Century, but for many people of color, it could be the 1960's, the 1860's, or earlier in human history where people of color were enslaved and dehumanized. Having a two-term black president did not seem to help much although it was much more than I thought I would see in my lifetime. Yet here we go again. I recognize that I have listeners from around the world and that the laws of your country may be different than the laws of The United States of America. But I believe you will still understand the meaning of this four-minute recording I created in honor of Mr. George Lloyd and all of the people of color who have died, unarmed, at the hand of the law keepers of this land. Thank you for listening. | |||
| Episode--119 Mothers Day 2020 | 09 May 2020 | 00:18:48 | |
Mother’s Day 2020 Intro:
Well, we have some things to talk about this Mother’s Day. But before we get into that... Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
I also wanted to share something with you: Wherever -- or however -- you’re listening to this podcast right now, take a moment and check out Stitcher. Those of you listening on Stitcher already get why. For those who don’t know what Stitcher is, it is a FREE podcast app for iPhone and Android and home to over two hundred and sixty thousand podcasts. Stitcher also has smart recommendations, playlists, a car mode, even a sleep timer! While the Stitcher app is free to use, they also offer a Premium subscription service called Stitcher Premium that has exclusive bonus episodes from top shows, exclusive shows from top hosts, and ad-free listening all for only $4.99 per month or $34.99 per year. Check out Stitcher Premium today and remember to use Promo code NOTBYCHOICE.
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
So...let me start by saying this, although it may sound like I am starting a conversation in the middle of a sentence...
Episode takeaways:
‘The closer we get to May 6th 2020, the more the tears course down my face out of nowhere.’
‘Thank you to all of you for checking in, for your kind words, for community.’
‘Mother’s Day is not easy for so many reasons.’
‘I don’t like to say things like ‘she’s in a better place...I’d rather say she’s in a place where there is no pain.’
‘As a Believer, I know she is in Heaven, and I know Heaven is a much better place than this earth, but I prefer to say she is in a place where there is no pain.’
‘Whether you are a mother or not, you have the heart of a mother, and no one can take that away from you. Happy Mother’s Day.’
‘You’re where you’re supposed to be.’
Special thank you to: Stitcher Premium.
My contact information:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 118--That virus sets new boundaries | 13 Apr 2020 | 00:28:34 | |
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode 118! What is today’s show? How CoronaVirus sets new boundaries. Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
CoronaVirus sets new boundaries! If you have been a part of our CNBC family for any time, you know how much I discuss and completely believe in the importance of boundaries because I believe proper boundaries promote positive mental health. When we allow others-family, friends, co-workers, etc, to cross boundaries by guilting us into running errands because we do not have children. When we allow them to speak to us in a negative way. And when we allow people to continually push us into acquiescing to a decision we did not originally want to make because they think our voice is unimportant, we are allowing them to cross boundaries and normalize disrespect. Make sure that you have set kind but firm boundaries in every aspect of your life. Setting boundaries takes time and patience--with yourself and with others. Be nice, keep trying, and know it will be worth it! Speaking of boundaries, how does Covid 19 affect those of us who are childless not by choice?
Resources: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/category/resources/
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 161--IVF and The Alabama Ruling | 23 Mar 2024 | 00:19:39 | |
Hello, and welcome to episode 161 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives. Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
IVF and the Alabama Ruling
Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
What is IVF? What is IVF and how is it done? During in vitro fertilization, mature eggs are collected from ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab. Then a procedure is done to place one or more of the fertilized eggs, called embryos, in a uterus, which is where babies develop. One full cycle of IVF takes about 2 to 3 weeks. Sep 1, 2023
How much does it cost to have IVF? While the average base cost of a single IVF cycle falls between $14,000 and $20,000, this is merely an approximation. The actual expenses may differ. Moreover, additional costs including medications, genetic testing, cryopreservation, and storage fees must be taken into account.
So just getting the pre-work done costs thousands, and the whole process is about timing. Timing. Ovulation, injections into the stomach at just the right time of the month. All of the things that need to be done at just the right time, of the month. Oh, let’s not forget the should we call it, cultivation of the eggs. It’s a process. All of it.
And this process is done by doctors. People who studied for a very long time so that they could assist their patients. Politicians and judges went to school to study politics and law. Nowhere do the two professions meet unless a person gets both degrees.
I checked to see if this judge in Alabama has an MD-JD, in other words, a medical and law degree. I did not find anything in my research that says he does. So what’s the back story anyway? Well, apparently a patient went wandering around an IVF clinic and somehow got back to where the embryos were kept in a cryogenic state, and dropped a few of them, destroying them. A few couples that also were clients of this clinic heard about this and filed suit. I mean, I have questions. How did this patient get back there? Why did she touch things that did not belong to her? Was she looking for her embryos? Was the clinic not working with her? Why was she back there?
But those questions aside, what I really want to know is how much research and homework was done by the judge to come to his ruling? Did he consider how ruling against IVF would affect people who were having trouble getting pregnant? Was research done on the process of IVF? Why it is done? Even how it is done? I don’t know. Maybe he did and still decided to rule the way he did. Did he know that his ruling would affect men as well as women?
When these lawmakers are, well, making these laws, how much research is done? Seriously. I don’t mean just legal research. I don’t mean sitting in a law library or having your law clerks sitting in a law library trying to come up with legal reasons to cause terror in people’s lives. How much research did they do to understand the relevance of the law to current life? Does relevance to current life, say vs. before IVF was invented, matter in research and ruling?
I am no lawyer, but shouldn't the law have to somehow keep up with the current times? And no, keeping up with the current times does not mean fundamentally changing the law otherwise as much as the law sometimes doesn’t make sense now; imagine if it was fundamentally changed to keep up with the fact that we are in the 21st century and not the middle ages.
Let me go deeper, do these lawmakers know or even care about infertility, the biological clock, gasp, male infertility? Are these lawmakers just concerned about their interpretation of the law and making a name for themselves down through history, using God as a way to make it make sense? Let me stop here for a second: God is not the author of confusion. God has given us free will as human beings. He has given us wisdom, common sense, and the ability to invent things like IVF. He has created every human in His image. He loves women as well as He loves men.
All of the division we see globally, the mistreatment and hatred of women is not godly. OK, that’s me hopping off my soap box. It’s been a while since I’ve used my soap box, so thanks for allowing me the latitude.
Look, I realize the law is not based on empathy. And one can argue that point, but if the law were based on empathy some perpetrators would not be released on a technicality. Some people would not rot in prison for something they did not do. More work, and more research would be done in both cases.
People, men, and women; would not have to suffer through infertility, deal with IVF treatments, and then rely on a legal system that has no empathy, have done no research, have no real world answers, or understanding on the matter to which has to be ruled while not fundamentally changing the laws. I believe both can be done.
The bottom line is this, the patriarchy is acting as it has for a millennium. But the part that gets me is when God is brought in. Let me repeat what I said earlier: God doesn’t hate women, He created us. He created humans in His image, so that would be men AND women. He doesn’t prefer men over women. He doesn’t have disdain for women.
I don’t understand how the rampant mistreatment of women worldwide makes the world a better place. It doesn’t. Using God as a prop. Never a good idea. But it’s done all the time. What happened in Alabama, and what is happening around the country is not being done in kindness and empathy. It is being done to grab power, to be judgemental, and to cause duress. For what reason? Power. It’s all about power. When ultimately, God has all the power.
God’s process for how men and women should live does not include fast rulings done with no research, no empathy, no real legal theory, that affect people in such a negative way.
I know the Alabama Supreme court cobbled something together to help protect those who are going through the IVF process from the judge’s ruling. The governor of Alabama has signed off on the ruling, but my understanding that this new ruling still does not fully protect people going throught IVF, but at least it is a start. I guess we will stay tuned!
Research links:
https://www.cryosinternational.com/en-gb/dk-shop/private/blog/ivf-treatment-for-single-women/
https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/fertility-blog/2018/march/ivf-by-the-numbers
Articles/links of interest:
https://www.newvision.co.ug/category/news/childless-woman-flees-from-abusive-husband-NV_183405
My contact information:
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Survey:
Notes from the episode:
“God is not the author of confusion…God has given us free will..wisdom, common sense, and the ability to invent things, like IVF.’
‘He loves women as well as men.’
‘We are all created in His image.’
‘All of the mistreatment of women globally is not God, and it’s not godly.’
‘..He does not have disdain for women. That’s a human thing.’ | |||
| Episode 117 - It's not that simple! | 20 Mar 2020 | 00:28:06 | |
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode 117! Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you! And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Either way, your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Episode content: It’s not just about being childless not by choice. It’s not, dare I say, that simple. There is so much more to it.
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-89-unexplained-infertility-aka-idiopathic-infertility/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ From the Shop page: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/
Articles of interest:
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 116--My Conversation with Dave Jackson | 17 Feb 2020 | 00:36:24 | |
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 116! And welcome to February! I hope you have taken a moment and gone to the Shop page of the website for your link to Blueprints for your goals and visions. This blueprint will walk you through your goals and visions for the entire year. And the best part is you can use the same blueprint every year! https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/ It is a great way to get your new year off to a great start! The link is in the show notes. Questions or comments? Contact me at:
Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Well, we have a guest today! On today’s show, we have... an award-winning podcaster who has been podcasting since April 2005! He has been helping people understand technology for over 20 years, he launched the School of Podcasting in 2005, and he has helped hundreds of people launch podcasts. He has recorded hundreds of episodes maybe even thousands of his own! He is literally one of the OG’s of podcasting, and he is in the Podcasting Hall of Fame! Dave Jackson, welcome to the show! Questions:
https://powerofpodcasting.com/
My Patrons: Jordan Morgan The Knights
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/17/male-childlessness-not-reproducing-what-am-i https://www.abc.net.au/life/childfree-men-on-leaving-behind-a-legacy-and-other-pressures/11274052 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DKJOAmzXP4
Click here for help with creating your goals and visions:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
| |||
| Episode 115--Facing childlessness with art, my interview with Dr. Krista Cooper | 20 Jan 2020 | 00:43:56 | |
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 115 Welcome to the first episode of 2020! What is today’s show about? Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributor Ivy Calhoun for her monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Krista Cooper PhD, LLMSW is a native of Hartford, CT, of Jamaican heritage. she attended Oakwood College in Huntsville, Alabama where her love of languages and the written word resulted in a change of major from Pre-Med to English and Spanish. While at Oakwood, she also studied for a year at Colegio Adventista de Sagunto, Spain. After obtaining her Bachelor of Arts degrees in English and Spanish, Dr. Cooper obtained her Master of Social Work from the University of Michigan. After graduation, she worked as an Intake and Assessment Social Worker in the Children and Families Division as well as working as a Substance Misuse social worker in the United Kingdom. Other areas of work experience include geriatric populations and mental health work with children and adults. In 2012, prior to the completion of her doctoral studies, Dr. Cooper accepted an Assistant Professor of Social Work position at Andrews University. While there and completing her dissertation, she began experiencing several health and life challenges related to uterine fibroids. This sparked an interest in exploring in more depth the experiences of women living with reproductive health challenges. Upon completion of her doctoral studies in 2014, and her own subsequent healing process, Dr. Cooper applied for a grant that would allow her to explore the aforementioned area. She was granted funding for research entitled, ‘Identity and Experience: The Lives of Women Living with Symptomatic Uterine Fibroids.’ Results from the study and its focus on individual story prompted her to start Reproductively Yours LLC which focuses on reducing the stigma associated with women’s reproductive narratives through education, story work, creativity and community building. Her greatest desire is for women that currently live or have lived with reproductive health challenges to know that they are not alone. Welcome to the show Dr. Cooper!
*The cost of IVF is around $10k for each cycle, was that a prompt for you to start your company correct? Faith and childlessness Christian community Nutrition and self-care Understanding who I am and who God created me to be Reproductive health challenges and reproductive health trauma: Reproductively Yours.
Afro Caribbean women living with HIV Being a woman Being an immigrant Being a black female immigrant Majority of women she interviews are Jamaican or Trinidadian Do these subject matters, issues all tie together? How?
We talked about our horrific experiences with fibroids, being in the car or out and having accidents, iron so low it was difficult for you to breathe, needing to have IV iron all dealing with this with no family around nearby, no real support system, then finding out after graduating college that early menopause had set in... Getting to be able to speak with other women who were going through the same things with fibroids, hysterectomy. So you got a grant through your college to research women who are dealing with these issues. During your research, qualitative research, you realized you were also researching yourself! She was having difficulties, feeling tired and worn out, and realized it was because the content was so close to home, she ended up allowing a friend to interview her and that was when everything started to fall into place. She read a quote that says ‘ the best research is research where the results lead back to yourself.’--Basal Vander Kolk. 5) Working on writing a paper that includes the arts. Tell us more about the paper you are looking to write which will include another type of media: art. 6) Did we miss anything? Tell the world!
Mentioned in the podcast: https://www.besselvanderkolk.net/index.html
| |||
| Episode 114--The Holidays, The Loneliest Time of the Year | 05 Dec 2019 | 00:25:07 | |
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life! Welcome to episode 114! Happy December! This episode is brought to you by the ‘Your Blueprint for your Goals and Visions’ program which can be found on the shop page of our website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net, It is literally a template, a blueprint that I created after years of researching how successful people plan for the new year. It’s simple. For a small investment in yourself this new year, download the template, fill in the blanks, and follow your decisions monthly, quarterly, bi-annually, and annually. The sooner you download the template, the sooner you can get a jump on the new year. You have the freedom to tweak and change what you want in the template, but the key is to work with the template throughout the year, allowing it to help you. You get to witness your own mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical growth! Place your order on the website and get to work on you! Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors. Remember, you may contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you may go to the website and click on the donate button. Your monthly contributions via Patreon or your one-time donations are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice
Email: Info@civillamorgan.com Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. It’s December! We are now smack dab in the middle of the Holiday Season, and 2019 is coming to a close! It’s been a tough year for many of us. I know some of us are ready to see it go bye-bye! If you are in the United States or you are an ex-pat, we celebrated Thanksgiving last month. I hope you had a wonderful family get together. And if you kept your own company, that’s great too. You know we introverts love our own company!
Remember, if you are grieving any type of loss, the holidays can tend to exacerbate those feelings. Here are just some of the things you can do to take the edge off whether you are navigating being childless during the holidays, or grieving the loss of a loved one:
The key is to do these things right in the middle of the holidays. Don’t worry about being judged because you will probably be judged anyway. If you need to talk, be sure to join the Facebook group, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan. I will be in the Facebook group throughout the season. And of course, the other admins will be in there as well. Also, the other ladies in the group are quite friendly and responsive. If you are feeling alone, come over to the group. There will always be someone there to talk to. Well, hopefully, you were not looking for October and November episodes. I took a much needed two-month hiatus. This just meant I used that time to work on this episode, content for 2020 episodes, work on my new limited-edition podcast, and the list goes on. Yet, I appreciated the break. Thanks for understanding. In fact, I have decided that going forward, I will be taking October and November off. Sometimes it takes an overwhelming loss, and being overwhelmingly tired, to make a change you did not ever think you would. And those changes turn out to be just what was needed. In fact, some podcasters operate in seasons, like a television show. I never wanted to do that. Maybe it was FOMO--fear of missing out. Maybe I felt like I did not have enough episodes in the library. Maybe I was competing with myself. At any rate, it was just such a great break! I will be taking October and November off each year, moving forward. About the blog! It has been many months since I last blogged. I did not realize how much I missed it! I will put a link in the show notes to my most recent blog, but I want to read a portion of it here if you don’t mind: ‘Unfortunately, some people do not know how to either let kids be kids or move to another location, so they verbalize their aggravation, and that of course, can make most parents upset. I believe even childless people know that children need room to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally. If someone says something mean to a mother about her child, it still should not be assumed that person does not and should not have children. If that is the thought process, who is being mean now? Look, I believe the reason society continues to propagate that mothers are more important than childless women is due to the innate need for humans to perpetuate the species. This means we will continue to hear mean spirited thoughts and belief systems spilling out of people’s mouths. They may not mean to be mean, in every instance. But the fact is, society tends to believe that once a woman has a child she is elevated to a special place, while childless women remain low on the totem pole. We are seen as society’s packing peanuts.’ Be sure to click the link in the show notes to read ‘the rest of the story! So, here’s the thing, we are heading into another year! 2020! What would you like to peel off of your life and toss into the garbage this year? You probably have not quite thought about it that way have you? But we are all works in progress. At least we should be. There is no perfect, or completely ‘done’ human. We all have triggers, we all have doubts, we all have fears, we all have hopes and dreams. You may be thinking you are too old to dream. Or maybe you think it is too late for the dreams and plans you had. But may I remind you that you can change your dreams. Not because you are wishy-washy, but because life has twists and turns. We can either work on navigating the twists and turns or stay stuck on what did not happen for us. Let’s not stay stuck there. Life is too short. Look, I have the same ups and downs you do. There are times, especially during the Holidays that I am surrounded by people I love, but I am lonely as all get out. And please, no attempts to set me up. I’m not interested. I am trying to make a point. We ALL have ups and downs. And I know this because we are all human, and the ups and downs are a part of the human condition. It is how we manage our ups and downs and not allowing life’s circumstances to manage us, which makes the difference. We have to practice recognizing triggers, recognizing when those negative feelings are coming for a visit, and turning them away at the door. We turn the negative feelings and triggers away at the door with the list of things I mentioned above, bubble baths, walks, talking to a trusted friend, seeing a therapist. And knowing our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing whether or not we can go to a baby shower or to a children’s birthday party. The choice is all yours! If you never got the chance to listen, I will put a link to the episode on triggers in the show notes. Please listen to it. We all have triggers and the whole world will not know what triggers you. But when YOU know what triggers you, you will know how to manage those triggers so that you do not explode on those around you. Look, we don’t want or need people to walk on eggshells around us. The goal is for us to get along without being made to feel less than by others or by ourselves. So I am asking you, What changes would you like to make about you, for you, in 2020? Thanks for tuning in today! Don’t forget to visit the Tee Public online merchandise store. There you will find content: t-shirts, hoodies, laptop cases, mugs, etc.with the Childless not by Choice logo! Every purchase means a contribution to the Childless not by Choice platform. Thank you!
Well, thanks for tuning in. See you next year! Bye!
https://yle.fi/uutiset/osasto/news/childlessness_trend_continues_in_finland/11082035
Advertisements and mentions: https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/beware-here-comes-the-holidays/ https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/
| |||