This podcast is about the childless not by choice demographic on a global level. If like me, you are childless not by choice, this podcast, my platform, is a place for you to find community and understanding.
Childless not by choice women and men can many times be misunderstood or ignored by society, and I want to change that.
I invite everyone to listen and to realize we are not all living the same lives. When we realize this, our minds will open up to the fact that we can treat each other with understanding, empathy, and grace.
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Hello, and welcome to episode 166 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
My Interview with Jody Day. Update time!
Intro:
JODY DAY is the English/Irish founder of Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women, and is often described as the founder of the ‘childless movement’. An author, two-times TEDx speaker, thought leader and psychotherapist, she’s known for her best-selling Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children (PanMac 2016/2020) and increasingly for her popular Substack, ‘Gateway Elderwomen’ which explores the adventure of elderhood without motherhood.
Jody’s been a World Childless Week Ambassador since its inception in 2017, and was chosen as one of the BBC’s 100 Women in 2013 & as a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She was also a founding and former board member at the UK Charity Ageing Without Children, and is a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School.
After a lifetime in London, she now lives by the sea in West Cork, rural Ireland, where she’s working on a novel (featuring a childless heroine of course!) and developing her Gateway Elderwomen project. She is managed by a small white terrier called Parsnip.
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Are you still a part of AWOC?
Working on a novel
Substack—Gateway Elder Women
‘Women without children are that village’.--Jody Day
free download of intro & chapter 1 of Jody's book: bit.ly/free-ltlu
FYI:
Spotify now allows podcasters the ability to respond to listener comments.
My contact information:
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
Episode 165-Our Nine Year Podcastiversary!
Episode 165
Wednesday, July 31, 2024 • Duration 16:57
Hello, and welcome to episode 165 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
My Nine Year Podcastiversary!
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you still need to become a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Hello, and welcome to episode 156 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
Grief…Again, Hiatus, Love, Loss
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Episode 155--My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week
Episode 155
Tuesday, September 5, 2023 • Duration 33:43
Intro:
Hello, and welcome to episode 155 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Hello, and welcome to episode 154 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
Let Me Catch You Up
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Episode 153--My Eight Year Podcastiversary--Milestones and Lemonade
Episode 153
Tuesday, August 1, 2023 • Duration 26:04
Intro:
Hello, and welcome to episode 153 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
Welcome to my eight-year podcastiversary!
What is today’s show about?
My Eight-Year Podcastiversary!
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to say a special thank you to the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Some of you have been donating/giving/contributing, for years!
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Hello, and welcome to episode 152 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
Father’s Day
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Hello, and welcome to episode 151 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
Mother’s Day and Childlessness
But first: Are you following the Childless not by Choice podcast? This podcast, my podcast? It’s really easy to do and costs nothing. Simply go to Apple podcast, search for Childless not by Choice podcast, and follow. As soon as a new episode comes out, you are notified. As a follower, you get the new episode about a week before I start promoting it on social media.
Also, if you are a patron of the show, meaning you make a financial contribution to the show, more on that in a second, you get to be in the know first, whenever something new is happening!
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Episode 150-What Manner of Scar Tissue Mayhem is This!
Episode 150
Tuesday, April 18, 2023 • Duration 24:43
Intro:
Hello, and welcome to episode 150 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
Scar Tissue
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Hello, and welcome to episode 149 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.
Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!
What is today’s show about?
International Women’s Month
NOTE: I called it International Women’s History Month on the podcast. That’s OK, right?
Thank you Patreon contributors:
I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.
Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!
If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Thank you: And as I say every July, I can’t believe it!
Thank you for walking with me through the last few years as I dealt with real life.
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you want to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you want to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant,
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
My contact information:
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
I remember doing a past episode on the different reasons for childlessness. And I recall discussing the fact that there are many reasons for childlessness. You mention in your bio that being in an abusive relationship caused you to take contraceptives so you wouldn’t get pregnant by your partner. Can you speak a little more on that because I know there are listeners who can probably relate.
Tell us how best to deal with unsympathetic doctors. Did you get a second opinion?
What caused you to create World Childless Week?
How do we get involved, where do we listen?
Tell us about the letters that were recently created, for libraries and for jobs.
On your website, you mention that one week per year World Childless Week shows up to remind us how we matter, but that you are available year-round. What does the platform do for the rest of the year?
Give us a final word of encouragement for the childless not by choice community, and tell us how we can find you on social.
BIO:
Stephanie spent a large part of her twenties in an abusive relationship and took the contraceptive pill to ensure children would not be born into that situation. In her early thirties, she met her husband-to-be but they didn't try to conceive until nearing forty. At the age of 39, she was told by an unsympathetic doctor "If he manages to get you pregnant it is highly unlikely you'll carry the full term". She knew at that moment, she would never be a mum.
In 2016 Stephanie Joy Phillips founded three childless support groups on Facebook: Childless Path To Acceptance focuses on support, Childless Chit Chat is a trigger-free zone, and Childless Perks!! is all about laughter and finding the positives of being childless, without a parent saying 'I told you so'.
In 2017 after realising there was no national recognition of the childless community she founded World Childless Week. Seven days that enables the childless community to have a platform where they can find their voice and share their stories with confidence.
Steph lives in Worcestershire with her husband and two rescue cats, Storm and Tea-Cup. She enjoys gardening, arts and crafts, a good book, dining out, and relaxing in front of the television with a puzzle book and one of her two cats snuggled up beside her".
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Special thank you to:
You, the Childless not by Choice Podcast Listener. Everyone who made suggestions on how to feel better while in Denver.
My contact information:
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Civilla M. Morgan civilla@civillamorgan.com www.childlessnotbychoice.net Podcast: Childless not by Choice Facebook.com/childlessnotbychoice/Facebook.com/civillamorgan Twitter=@civilla1 Instagram= @joyandrelevance Pinterest=Civilla M. Morgan
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Before we get started though, I want to give a heads-up to those who listen to the Childless not by Choice podcast on the Stitcher Podcatcher app. Unfortunately, Stitcher is going away effective August 29, 2023. They say you may listen on their sister app Pandora. Many of you may know Pandora as a music app which it is, but Pandora started hosting podcasts a few years ago.
If you use the Stitcher app, there are instructions in the app on how to export your shows so you don’t have to go one by one searching from them in another Podcatcher app.
And as I always say, the Childless not by Choice podcast can be found on just about any podcatcher app including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Himalaya, Bullhorn, Google Podcast, you name it, the podcast is there!
Of course, if you have any questions about how to listen to the podcast, reach out in the Childless not by Choice Facebook Group, email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com, or Message me on social.
So, I want to talk to you for a few minutes about Milestones and Lemonade!
Milestone: I have been talking to you for eight years and I love it! A great big thank you to the long-time listeners! And a great big welcome to all of the new listeners! I’m so happy you found us! If you have been listening since the beginning, you have been journeying with me through episodes where I had fabulous guests. Times of Me only episodes, aka monologue episodes. You stayed with me through my grief at the loss of my mommy, and you have continued with me as I continue to care for my dad. You’ve journeyed with me by listening to the episodes that I created to help you on your journey, but you have given me grace for my journey. Thank you.
Lemonade. I love lemons! The nice, fresh, ripe lemons that you roll on the kitchen counter a few times before cutting them in half and squeezing them to make lemonade, or squeezing them on seafood to create another level of flavor! But life’s lemons are a whole ‘nother story right?! What lemon or lemons are you dealing with right now? We all get lemons in this life. And I believe although the lemon fruit adds another level of taste to many dishes, including lemonade, life’s lemons can feel harsh. Breathtakingly so sometimes. Until you turn them into lemonade. Remember, life is filled with choices. Unless you decide, choose, to make the best of the life you have been given; the childless not by choice life, things can become, and stay overwhelming for a very long time. Who wants that? Life is too short. Do the best you can with where you are, how you are, and when you are. Most of us don’t have full control over our jobs, our family members, where we live, etc., but whatever you can control, or manage, do. It will be good for your mental health. What is also good for your mental health is also to know the difference between what you can control and what you cannot.
Episodes with authors–I searched through the back catalog and found about seven episodes where I had the great opportunity to interview authors who have written on the subject of childlessness. If you have not listened to the back catalog, why not give it a try? I’m saying that knowing full well, like most podcasters, that our earlier work can feel cringe to us, but hey, it also shows how the show has matured.
Speaking of: It’s OK to re-listen to an episode. Just like we re-watch certain movies or shows, we can re-listen to a podcast episode. I notice that every time I have re-watched or re-listened, I catch something I missed the first time. Now, in full transparency, every time you listen, that is a download for me. But honestly, if downloads were all I cared about, I would have quit podcasting a long time ago. There’s a show I watch that is now in its seventh season! I have re-watched most of the episodes multiple times. And I am always shocked at what I missed the first or even the second time I watched. I guess it depends on what we may have been doing, aka multitasking, the first or second time we watch or listen to something. Also, an episode may affect you differently now, than it did when it first came out. So there’s that!
Lemonade. I want to re-visit patronage and giving: If you find value in the content. If the podcast has helped you in any way, consider giving/contributing. I would like to continue creating this podcast, and regardless of the contributions, I will continue. Honestly, if I ever stopped the podcast it would not be because of the finances on the platform. It would be because it is time. But being able to use your contributions to pay for things on the platform, is so cool! Once again, to those of you who give regularly, thank you! If you have been thinking about it but just have not gotten around to it, why not sign up during this time of my podcastiversary celebration? It would be truly appreciated. While I am asking, would you consider leaving a review at Apple Podcast to help bring recognition to the podcast? Anything you can do to help bring recognition to the podcast would be greatly appreciated!
Once again thank, thank you for being here. I see you, I think of you, you are worthy, you are here for a reason. You are fabulous! Don’t forget that! Here’s to another eight years. Cheers!
Special thank you to:
Everyone who listens to the podcast!
My contact information:
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
It may be a little ironic, or maybe not, but I have not created a fresh June episode because I am caring for my dad. Many of you have heard bits and pieces in previous episodes, that I am his primary caregiver. And it is an honor. The last few months, as in since about the end of February, he has battled on through multiple medical issues. And I have battled to advocate for him. Unfortunately, advocating feels like an uphill battle. It sometimes feels like the medical community wants to dictate how I should not care for my father because they know best, even if they just see him as another elderly person.
There were several times when I thought ‘This is it, he’s not going to make it.’ But he continues to be with us. I cherish and thank God for every single day, every minute, I get with him.
Being a caregiver who works, means that I am on the run from the moment my eyes open in the morning, until bedtime. I do my very best to get at least seven hours, otherwise, there would just be no way to maintain my schedule. No. Way. Bottom line, sleep keeps me from falling apart.
I want to thank you for your patience as I navigate my life as it currently is, and my podcasting schedule. Not to pat myself on the back, but because I do take this podcast so seriously, the research, the guests, the everything; being able to go back and ask you to listen to a previous episode, which is what I am asking you to do this month; does not feel like a cop-out.
I have had the great privilege of having fabulous guests throughout the life of this podcast. The episode 143 guest, Dr. Robin Hadley, is no different. Episode 143 first aired in August of 2022. Please take a listen.
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
This is year four since my mom left this world. I hear tell year three is the worst year of grieving a loss. Does that make year four and beyond, are more manageable? Maybe, but one of the important lessons I learned along the grieving journey, is that people grieve differently.
I’m glad I learned that early because I would have been upset at certain people that did not seem to grieve the way I was grieving.
I also realized that my grief wasn’t necessarily more important, it was just different. And different can happen for many reasons. It can happen if you were the last person to see that person alive, or you were the primary caregiver. It does not mean that the people who were not there or who were not the primary caregiver are not grieving. It just means that people will grieve differently.
That, again, was a very, very important lesson to learn, because I know I would have been upset if I did not get that understanding early.
So, does year four and beyond bring lesser grief? I don’t think so. I think grief just becomes more manageable with time. That’s it.
I find that I smile more when talking about my mom now. I was told that would happen, but I did not believe it! My mom had jokes. She loved to laugh. I am convinced she would have loved Tik Tok. I’ve mentioned this in the past, but she even got jokes out of the evening news. Go figure!
Sometimes I think about the jokes she told over and over, about her childhood. There are inside jokes I will take with me to my grave. There are things she made me promise not to tell. Mostly benign things to be honest. But I will honor her memory by keeping my promises to her.
No matter how young or old you are when you lose your mother, it doesn’t matter, in my opinion. Your mother is your anchor. When you lose her, you lose your anchor, at least temporarily. That was something else I learned early in my grief journey. I couldn’t figure out the feeling I had. I felt lost, and it was scary. Then someone mentioned that she felt anchorless after losing her mother. I remembered thinking, ‘That’s it! That’s the feeling I had, but did not understand.’
It’s so important, at least for me, to listen to other people’s grief journey. It doesn’t mean mine will be the exact journey, it just means I can glean something, and I have. A lot. I have heard some women say things like ‘It’s been 20 years since I lost my mom, and I still miss her so much!’ I was like What?! I can’t feel like this for 20 years!
But now, four years in, I realize what they mean. It’s still early days for me, but I can see how you can miss someone forever but still be able to manage life even as you manage loss.
If you do not or did not get along with your mother, if she did not care for you like a mother should, or the way you needed her to, I believe you can feel anchorless as well. I believe it is definitely a type of loss. And I’m sorry for your loss. I hope and pray for you, a peace that passes all understanding as you continue on your life’s journey.
Is there a convergence at a certain point in life as we continue on our childless not by choice journey, where the two types of grief: the loss of a mother and childlessness, converge?
I think maybe yes. For me, off and on I’ve felt a little off-kilter because there is no one to look back to for guidance, comfort, or commiseration, which is what I got from my mom. And no one to look forward to, in a child, to see what’s going on in the next generation. The only real connection I have to the next generation would be the young people in my life, mainly my nephews. I get a little snippet of what the next generation is dealing with, managing, and experiencing, by watching little snippets of their lives.
I’m a little out of touch with the current music and other trends because, I believe, I don’t have kids. Although honestly, I don’t think anything beats 80’s music!
If you have younger nieces and nephews whose lives you are allowed/able to be a part of, create a relationship with them. It’s easier when they are younger of course, but no matter when it is, start if you haven't already, make a genuine attempt. Even if it’s a card every once in a while, a gift card to their favorite place on their birthday, going to a game when you can, you know. Something that shows them you care. You can do all of that without being pushy. Let me know how it works, or if you need any tips. I am so honored to be a part of my nephew's lives. I hope you can have the same or similar experiences.
Well, before I leave you, let me give you some reminders:
Mother’s Day is a day of recognition. There are many fabulous moms, step-moms, foster moms, grandmothers who are taking the place of moms, aunt-moms, you name it, there are some fabulous women out there doing fabulous things to raise fabulous kids, which in turn keeps society together. Because without them, there would be societal mayhem. If you think things are bad now…if you are one of these people I just listed, thank you!
If you are childless not by choice, remember that you are worthy. We are worthy. With or without the recognition on Mother’s Day, we are worthy! If we are alive we have a role to play in this world. Never let anyone allow you to feel less than.
Practice mental health. If it means staying off of social media, do that. If it means skipping a ‘Mother’s Day luncheon’, skip it. If you recall from earlier episodes, I had stopped going to church on Mother’s Day after my mom passed. I only went to honor her. If there was a luncheon, I went to honor her. Now that she’s gone, I skip church on Mother’s Day. Practice mental health. Whatever that is for you. And don’t let anyone try to guilt you into doing anything you prefer not to do.
Create and maintain those firm but kind boundaries I talk about all the time, so that number three becomes easier to do. It will, I promise.
Do you recall from episode 150 where I mentioned that most childless not by choice listeners probably have had or will have some type of surgery? Well, I asked the question in the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook page, and I got a number of responses! Feel free to email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com Messenger me on Facebook or Instagram, and let me know. I will keep the poll open for a while longer, and share the statistics on a later episode. You all know I love statistics!
#youdonthaveto
Special thank you to:
‘Mareshah Miller, for this quote: ‘Mothers in disguise are called aunts.’
My contact information:
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
Talk about what put me in the hospital for four days in early March.
So, on March 3rd I found myself in the worst belly pain I have ever had. The pain felt very similar to a pain I had the year before, but the pain had gone away by the next day. This time, it wasn’t going away. By the next day, I made the decision to go to the emergency room. I told them what was going on with this immense pain in my stomach, and they took an MRI of my belly. The test results came back: partially blocked intestines. I was like what?! What does that even mean? It turns out that what was causing the partial blockage was scar tissue.
I asked then scar tissue from what!? My last surgery for anything was in 2011! I was told it did not matter how long ago the surgery was, scar tissue can come back to haunt you at any time. The whole thing sounded out of this world. Unbelievable.
For a fleeting moment, I thought about how all those surgeries I had for a decade, as I tried to buy time. Should I have had the hysterectomy earlier? I should have skipped all of the myomectomies. But the fact is looking back is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything.
I guess the medical staff was used to this because immediately they gave me a concoction to coat my stomach and quell the pain. They also offered some very strong pain medication, but I declined it as I wanted to be alert and aware. I had gone to the emergency room alone, and my dad had recently been put into rehab. I wanted to be coherent for any possible phone call from the rehab center as he had been there less than a week.
Talk about the statistics for childless women over 50.
So, according to Statista, a statistics company, 15.4% of women over 50 are childless. Why am I mentioning this, because well, I’m, um, a certain age? Ok, I’m in that age group. OK, but I’m talking about this because as I mentioned earlier when I got the MRI results that I had a partially blocked intestines, the first things that started to come to my mind were ‘I should have had the hysterectomy earlier’, ‘I should not have waited an entire decade’, ‘why did I try to buy time?’ All of these questions! Until I made myself stop! Questioning, second-guessing, none of that would change anything now.
Discuss how not to get scar tissue
I have an article on the website www.childlessnotbychoice.net about post-operation behavior to help you heal better and avoid scar tissue. Link in the show notes I knew that avoiding scar tissue was and is very important. I thought I had done everything I could to avoid scar tissue, but I guess not!
Discuss stress, adhesions, and scar tissue
I was told that this type of issue, pain, is typically brought on by stress. And yes, I have been under a lot of stress the last few months. I have been trying to figure out how stress could bring this on. This isn’t my first bout with stress since my last surgery in 2011. But maybe it is a combination of high stress and just plain getting older.
The hospital staff that cared for me during my four-day stay.
My contact information:
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
Or
Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.
Body of episode:
So March is International Women’s History Month. There is so much that can be said about how far we as women have come, and how far we have yet to go. I guess it is like any other so-called minority. There is yet work to be done. And we cannot afford to rest. But we can stop to celebrate every once in a while. Celebration gives us hope for the future, highlights those who have come before us, and those we see as the future.
I thought about highlighting women who have worked to make life better for all women whether nationally here in the US, or internationally. Either way, their work helps us in every corner of the globe. But I’ve done that. It took two episodes to do it too. That’s how many fabulous childless not by choice women there have been, and are. The links are in the show notes for episodes 78 and 79–Childless not by Choice Women Who Changed The World!
But there are two women I have watched and admired for years, and who honestly, let me put the word out, I would love on my podcast! I have admired them for their class and grace in the face of a world that can be really harsh toward women who never had children.
And may I remind you, I talk about the childless not by choice. That is what this podcast has always been about, but if a woman decides she would rather not have children, it is not society’s business. It is her business. Why can’t we mind our own business?
Calling a woman a crazy cat lady because she never had children, says more about the name-caller than it does about the woman. I mean, we don’t typically get to know the real reason a woman never had children unless you listen to a podcast like mine. And I doubt name-callers have the time to actually do the research before calling people names and deriding them. Us.
Anyway:
Tracee Ellis Ross…
Tracee Ellis Ross is the daughter of Legend Diana Ross. She recently talked about not having children, and about going through perimenopause, saying 'I Can Feel My Body's Ability To Make A Child Draining Out Of Me’. Woah! Never thought about it quite like that before!
She never married, so I feel like I have at least two things in common with this legend in her own right. There is a link in the show notes with the entire article. There are actually two links in the show notes with content about Tracee Ellis Ross. Please check them out. No one escapes the joys and sadnessess of life, and I’m sure she has her moments, but I love the way she shows up and does life with positivity, poise, and charm, no matter what.
In a February 2023 Marie Claire article, Jennifer Anniston talked about the way she used to feel about the rumor mongers and naysayers who knew nothing about her personal life, saying “I used to take it all very personally — the pregnancy rumors and the whole 'Oh, she chose career over kids' assumption,” she told the publication. “It’s like, ‘You have no clue what’s going with me personally, medically, why I can’t … can I have kids?’ They don’t know anything, and it was really hurtful and just nasty.”
We really need to lift each other up as women and keep in mind that everyone has a story. And furthermore, we do not know everyone’s story. How could we? It always amazes me how absolute strangers believe they have the right to voice an opinion about another person’s life.
The link is in the show notes for the full article. Please check that out as well!
So, remember, no matter where on the planet you are, fabulous woman, childless woman, childfree woman, a woman with children; I am thinking of you, hoping for you praying for you, speaking up for you.
You are worthy. You are valued. You are here for a reason. Happy International Women’s month!
There are lots of research links in the show notes for this episode. One in particular that I found interesting because they discuss childlessness, childfree-ness, singleness, single and childess. I mean they discussed all the angles of childlessness. Check it out!
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.
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