The one kicks off with some gardening chat, complaints about the Amazon return process at Kohl's when a person in line in front of you has no honor and youth sports seasons starting up.
As far as the movie goes, we check out Malibu Express, out of sequence in the L.E.A.T.H.A.L Cinematic Universe. Much like it's follow-up, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, which we reviewed in Ep 20, this one features more than its fair share of Early/Mid 80s Playboy Playmates, although the...exposure...they give and receive in this one outstrips Hard Ticket by quite a bit.
A poor-man's mash-up of Bo Duke, Fletch and Fred from Scooby Doo "investigates" computer sales to Soviet Communists, but that plot of the movie never really happens. Then there's another part about a guy with gambling debts who blackmails high-society women with explicit photos and videos. Then there's like three other unconnected storylines. This movie is basically the fever dream of a teenage boy with a Playboy subscription from 1982-1984.
The TL;DR version of the movie goes like this: Car, boobs, moustache, boobs, butt, car, gunfight, boobs, explosion, car chase, gunfight, boobs, helicopter, explosion, boobs, butt, The End.
The last ten minutes of the movie is devoted to a couple monologues by the good guy and the bad guy that are intended to help you understand what happened. They didn't help.
Malibu Express final grade:
Steve Entertaining only for being so ripe with opportunity for mockery. Soooo many topless women that it actually detracted from the story. 2.69/5.0
Brandon Plot was...tough to follow?...non-existent? Andy Sidaris doesn't know how to write a movie, but he does know how to employ Playboy Playmates trying to kick off a film career. 3.80085/5, if you were a kid with a calculator in the 80s
Cocktail of the Week:
The Pineapple
2 oz Malibu Coconut Rum
4 oz Pineapple Juice
Build the drink the the glass. Pour ingredients over ice and stir to combine.
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