BodyJoy: After Office Hours Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

In this intimate, laughter-filled, deeply honest episode, Melissa “Mango” from BodyJoy sits down with erotic educator, practitioner, and long-time collaborator Casia Sobolewski for a conversation that travels through motherhood, boundaries, non-monogamy, erotic integrity, and the sacred art of pleasure.

Together, they unpack how years of exploration, sex-positive community, and somatic practice have shaped Casia’s work with individuals and couples. They explore the evolution from youthful erotic curiosity to raising a family within an open, devotional partnership, and how that lived experience informs the immersive work she and her husband Cosmo offer today.

This episode touches everything from:

 • staying connected to desire through major life transitions
 • open relating while parenting and building a sacred partnership
 • the nuances of “taking” and “being taken” in heterosexual dynamics
 • why many women need tension, not collapse, for erotic polarity
• somatic cues, boundaries, and the physiology of “floppiness”
• men’s fear of doing it wrong — and how that affects intimacy
• porn literacy and re-sensitizing the body to real-time pleasure
• desire, fantasy, the Anatomy of Desire model, and honest reflection
• pleasure as a spiritual doorway and the portal-like power of erotic connection
• havening, presence, and the small sensory practices that open the body
• the axial age, the erotic mother, and why women’s boundaries are holy

Casia also shares a behind-the-scenes look at her and Cosmo’s upcoming offering, “The Art of Touching Women: How Men Touch & Why It Matters,” plus stories from years of leading immersive erotic retreats with Melissa—where deep nervous system repair, erotic awakening, and life-changing relational shifts take place.

This is a rich, layered, beautifully human conversation about embodiment, consent, relational devotion, erotic intelligence, and the sacredness of tending to your own pleasure.

FIND CASIA
Website: honeyandwater.ca
Instagram: @casiasobolewski
Himeros Project: himerosproject.com
The Art of Touching Women Course: April 29 - July 1, 2026

WORK WITH MELISSA / BODYJOY
bodyjoy.org

In this episode, Melissa has the absolute privilege and honor of speaking with Rahi Chun, a somatic sex educator, sexological body worker, and genital de-armoring specialist.

Rahi and Melissa dive deep into the research and common experience of women who feel numb, disconnected, or lack desire internally. They discuss how somatic sex education and de-armoring work to restore more pleasure, sensation, and orgasm.

In this powerful conversation, you will explore:

• The Healing Power of Sensation: Why talk therapy alone may not be enough. If a rupture affects the body, it needs to be repaired through the body, as the body remembers everything. Rahi shares how somatic work helps repair ruptures that cannot be reached through talking.
• De-Armoring and Trauma: How Rahi's work can unlock sensations and restore pleasure, even for those who have experienced significant trauma or years of numbness and pain.
• The Clitoral Stimulation Debate: They discuss studies that suggest a large percentage of women prefer clitoral stimulation and how this information might be deceiving if it doesn't account for trauma and numbness in the intravaginal space.
• The Truth About Vibrators: Rahi shares his research on vibrator use, confirming that extensive use leads to short-term desensitization, but not long-term. They discuss the challenge of relying on a toy that cannot be replicated by a human partner.
• The Somatic Healing Process: Learn about Rahi’s comprehensive approach, including downregulating the nervous system, neuro-affective touch, full-body active consent, genital mapping, and the de-armoring process itself, which focuses on letting go of unmetabolized emotions.
• Homework for Deepening Connection: Rahi stresses the importance of prioritizing the intimate relationship with your own body, offering practices like vaginal steaming combined with castor oil scar tissue remediation to increase blood flow and restore sensation.

Tune in for a fascinating and vital conversation on restoring connection, sensation, and pleasure in your body.

About the Guest:

Rahi Chun is a somatic sex educator and genital de-armoring specialist dedicated to helping people reclaim and expand pleasure. Learn more about his signature course, The Three Keys to Genital Dearmoring for Reclaiming and Expanding Pleasure, at RahiChun.com.

Links & Resources:

Rahi Chun's Course: Three Keys to Genital Dearmoring 

Tune in & listen to our fun banter, ask questions, comment along, get some great advice and insight from 2 rebel women... Melissa D. & Dr. Hazel Grace.
Dr. Hazel-Grace Yates is radical permissionist and pleasure warrior here to help eradicate global toxic sexual shame. Through her compassion, playful, and dynamic facilitation, she is endlessly passionate about humans celebrating their bodies, soul and sex.
Her innovative, fun, and educational style of sex and intimacy coaching is born out of her deep commitment to creating a more compassionate, loving, and safe world. The 4 corners-stones of her work are 1. Trauma-Informed Practices, 2. Authentic Relating Skills, 3. Somatic Sex Education and 4. Activism and Inclusivity.
With more than 12 years of experience as a pioneering educator, she brings a unique blend of professional know-how, playful curiosity, authentic communication, and personal vulnerability to her practice.
Dr. Hazel-Grace is a self-proclaimed “pleasure activist in the making” and has spent the past two years deepening her understanding of social equity work. She is committed to doing her deep inner work and facing her own privilege so that she can create a safer space for ALL; BIPOC, gender diverse folxs, people with disabilities, or otherwise marginalized. She is a trauma-informed somatic sex educator, sexological bodywork practitioner, and founder of Sex Catalyst Academy - training world-class sex-positive facilitator and leaders.
https://www.drhazelgrace.com

We will be going deep into the Prostate and Anal Pleasure for Men.

{After} Office Hours with Melissa D. & Special Guest
Sheba Queen of the Night

{After} Office Hours with Melissa D. & Special Guest
Dr. Charla Hathaway talking about Risk, Lust & Healing in the oldest profession. 

Episode 2 - Does He Fuck Too Fast?

Full Episode: Tips for a Soft Cock

In this powerful conversation, Melissa and Cosmo dive deep into the unexpected but natural transition from the world of being a chef to becoming a leading pleasure and intimacy guide. Cosmo explains that the crossover makes perfect sense: both roles involve curating people's desire and finding unobstructed paths to feeling nourished.

Cosmo shares his own personal journey, including the profound "Aha moment" at an intimacy training where the simple question, "How would you like to be touched today?" fundamentally shifted his life and led him to realize he was meant to do this work.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Sex as Nourishment, Not Work: Learn how approaching intimacy as connection, nervous system regulation, and nourishment allows for daily play, rather than seeing it as a performance or another job.
• The "Wedge of the Pie": Why focusing solely on a hard cock and intercourse is just "one little wedge" when intimacy includes closeness, touching, tickling, spanking, loving, and so much more.
• The Art of Touching Women: Cosmo announces his new system, highlighting that for women, care, presence, attention, and safety come first—competency is not the priority.
• The Himeros Project (Men's Work): Discover the unique container that focuses on "what men are like," not what they should be like, helping men build emotional bonds with each other to reduce the burden on their female partners.
• Expression vs. Containment: The critical importance of practicing both expressing your deepest desires and using containment (choosing when, with who, where, and how much to express) to prevent desires from being driven back into repression.
• Re-patterning Trauma: The transformative power of recreating traumatic dynamics in a safe space to reclaim lost elements and add a voice to say "stop".

Find all of Cosmo's work and upcoming events here:

• Himeros Project (Men's Work & Virtual Course):
• Upcoming Men's Retreats 2026: March (Joshua Tree, CA) and July (BC, Canada)
• Free Workshop: Subscribe to the mailing list for notifications about the free "Art of Touching Women" workshop (First one is December 3rd, 2025).
• Back to the Body (Sensual Retreats for Women)
• Anatomy of Desire: Cosmo's six-part system for bringing desires to the world with integrity.

Join Melissa of Body Joy After Office Hours as she sits down with JD, a lifestyle Dom, Daddy, and one half of the internationally acclaimed rope bondage duo Two Knotty Boys. A teacher of interactive rope bondage and restraint for over two decades, JD co-authored the bestselling books Two Knotty Boys Showing the Ropes and Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes.

In this deep-dive conversation, JD redefines the "daddy-dom, baby-girl dynamic" as a structured, honorific sub-type of BDSM focused on mentorship, direction, and a hot, fantastic exchange—not age play.

He shares candid insights on:

• BDSM Misconceptions: Why the lifestyle is more about joy, connection, and "love and light" than being dark or sinister.
• The Power of Belts: How common household items like belts can be versatile, inexpensive tools for expressing control and spicing up a scene.
• The Daddy Disposition: How being a Dom is a personality trait—being self-assured, consistent, safe, and communicative—that you bring to all aspects of life, not just the bedroom.
• Overcoming Awkwardness: Advice on how to authentically embody a BDSM role and make the shift from feeling "contrived" or "silly" to finding pleasure in the dynamic.
• Processing Trauma: The importance of patience in transforming a negative association with an object (like a belt) into a source of sensual, virtuous connection.
• Hoods and Sensory Release: The psychological comfort and "complete release" a submissive can find in sensory deprivation, wiping away life's noise and distractions.
• The FRIES of Consent: JD breaks down the essential acronym for healthy BDSM negotiation: Freely given, Revocable, Informative, Enthusiastically given, and Specific.
• The Art of Negotiation: How to move beyond academic checklists and fetishize negotiation by incorporating specific requests and expectations into dirty talk and directorial voice.

Listen in to learn how to build deep trust, communicate clearly, and find the joy and safety within BDSM play.

Connect with JD

• Co-author: Two Knotty Boys Showing the Ropes and Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes
• Follow JD: @roperigger