Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

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Would you like to unlock the secrets to building deeper, more rewarding relationships with your adult children?

Join us in this BONUS episode rewind for a compelling conversation with Dr. Ruth Nemzoff, author of "Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with Your Adult Family." 

Ruth shares her invaluable insights on transitioning from a central role in your children's lives to finding a new way to connect as they gain independence. We explore the delicate balance of offering advice without alienating your adult children and the nuances of maintaining a loving and supportive relationship through thoughtful and timely communication.

We tackle the practicalities and emotional challenges of redefining relationships when adult children return home or continue living at home. Learn essential strategies for setting clear expectations, negotiating roles, and offering the right kind of support. We delve into real-life scenarios to provide actionable advice on balancing household responsibilities, encouraging independence, and fostering mutual respect. Gain a deeper understanding of evolving social norms around intergenerational living and the importance of self-awareness in navigating these new dynamics.

Finally, we venture into the realm of communication and boundaries, offering insights on how to navigate relationships with in-laws and manage family dynamics. Discover the power of open communication, humor, and positivity in diffusing tension and enhancing connections. Ruth's wisdom reminds us that while relationships are inherently imperfect, thoughtful communication and a willingness to understand different family cultures can transform friction into closeness. Tune in for personal anecdotes, practical advice, and a heartfelt discussion on maintaining harmony and intimacy within your family.

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The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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Another listener favorite! Today we discuss the sometimes difficult, yet rewarding relationships between mothers and daughters. We speak with Pam Tronson, parenting coach with a special certification in mother/daughter relationships. 

The connection between a mother and daughter is one of the strongest and most important family relationships. Accepting that it can be difficult and messy is key to being able to navigate the highs and lows. Bound by love we are often disappointed when our adult relationships with our daughters don’t meet the dream we had for that relationship. 

Pam offers solutions to help us let go of control and worry and avoid resentment. She discusses how the shame we feel, and the perceived “failed” relationship can get in the way of the repair that is needed.

Resolution only requires one person to change the trajectory of the relationship. And showing one another that they are worth the effort is impactful.

Beyond the personal stories and emotional shifts, Pam also discusses broader societal influences that affect motherhood. She addresses issues like parental anxiety, control, entitlement, and the normalization of worry. Highlighting the necessity of empathy and understanding different perspectives, Pam teaches us how redefining love and setting healthy boundaries can break the cycle of negative self-narratives. This episode is a treasure trove of heartfelt guidance, practical advice, and emotional support for anyone looking to navigate the complex, yet beautiful, bond between mothers and daughters.

Learning to practice self-care and to love yourself is the key to setting the necessary boundaries to build better, more meaningful relationships with our daughters. 

It's always a good idea to listen again!

Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Send ideas to [email protected].

Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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This episode dives deep into resilience.  We talk to a resilience expert and parenting coach about how to build resilience - in ourselves and our adult children.

Why do we sometimes look at the bad and forget to remember and be grateful for the positive?  Our guests explain that neuroscience tells us that we are programmed to look at the negative and much more difficult to remind ourselves of the positives. 

We discuss the  process that involves building our resilience muscles, such as positivity, confidence, and creativity.  Our guests are Linda Hoopes, founder of the Resilience Alliance , a licensed psychologist whose professional work focuses on resilience.   Joining Linda is Kris Burbank, a parenting coach for all stages of life to enhance their skills as professionals, parents, and partners. Together they co-authored the book, Embracing Another Normal: Resilience Stories and Strategies for Raising Children with Disabilities.

Though originally targeted for parents of families with children with disabilities, the book has grabbed the attention of all parents struggling to find their strength in parenting as their children move through life into young adulthood.

Their book begins with this quote from Winnie the Pooh to Christopher Robin:
“Promise me you’ll always remember.  That you’re braver than you believe and stronger than you seem.  And smarter than you know.”  
 
A big thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.  Send your thoughts to [email protected] and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

Support us with a donation as little as $5 (purchasing a “virtual” cup of coffee).  Or joining our squad with a year's membership as low as $5 per month.  Link here now:  SUPPORT US.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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Maybe you've recently read these headlines in the New York Times or The Wall Street Journal.

• "Well Into Adulthood and Still Getting Money From Their Parents.   Nearly 60% of parents provide financial help to their adult kids, a new study finds." WSJ
• "Parents Are Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives, and Fine With ItNew surveys show that today’s intensive parenting has benefits, not just risks, and most young adults seem happy with it, too." (NYT)

What you didn't know is that these articles  just covered a small bit of the extensive 2024 Pew Research study titled Parents, Young Adult Children and the Transition to Adulthood. The Pew Research Center is a non-partisan "fact tank" that helps inform the public about issues, attitudes and trends shaping our world. 

Today, we go behind the scenes to chat with one of the lead researchers on the study, Rachel Milken, and uncover what those big headlines really mean.   

We sort through the data helping listeners understand the stats and what the study really explores.  

Tune in to learn more about key milestones for young adults today vs. 30 years ago, financial help and independence in young adulthood, how parents really think their kids are doing, relationships, advice and even living together (you will be surprised that it works for many families.  

A big thank you to Connie Gorant fisher, our audio engineer and the look and feel of the podcast.  Send your thoughts and comments to [email protected] and we love to hear your ideas for future episodes. And follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

Thank you to those of you who already support us. With a donation of $5 you can help keep us going. Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US. You can buy us a “virtual” cup of coffee or subscribe for a monthly subscription. Every bit helps. 

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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Do you have a favorite child?  Maybe you think you don't but there are things you do or say that show something different.

Today we delve into the much overlooked topic of sibling relationships.  We speak with Fern Schumer Chapman author o the book Brothers, Sisters, Strangers.  Siblings are the longest relationship we will have in our lives - and our children's.  They share our history our family and our story.  Chapman shares her personal life story that led her to write this book. 

We talk about sibling rejection and how that can lead to feelings of self-blame, questioning one's worth, and a sense of loss. Individuals may constantly ruminate on what went wrong and how they can mend the relationship, leading to a significant emotional toll. This ongoing emotional pain can be likened to a persistent toothache or a wound that refuses to heal.

Chapman shares  risk factors that may cause sibling rifts and what our role as parents we  play.  By acknowledging these risk factors and perilous turning points,  research provides valuable insights into the complexities of sibling relationships. Understanding these factors can help individuals navigate and potentially reconcile with estranged siblings.

We also identify when it is safer for siblings to separate and why. 

There is no question that sibling relationships serve as a blueprint for future relationships with friends, colleagues, and romantic partners. The qualities of tolerance, generosity, and loyalty instilled by siblings can influence how individuals navigate social interactions throughout their lives.  This episode helps us understand it all.

Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Send ideas to [email protected].
Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. 

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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For today's episode we brought back Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo to discuss their new book "The Secret to Breaking the Conflict Cycle in Your Marriage," and to share their wisdom on maintaining strong connections in all our relationships - and that means with our adult kids too!

We talk about  the need to actively engage in conflict resolution rather than avoiding or ignoring issues. (which most of us do!)

By being intentional, individuals can identify the root causes of conflicts, understand their own triggers and reactions, and work towards constructive solutions.

Intentionality involves setting clear goals for improving communication, understanding, and connection within relationships. It requires a commitment to addressing issues head-on and seeking resolution rather than letting conflicts fester.
Some of the key points include:

• Being intentional and taking action
• Words have power
• Knowing yourself;  addressing  your own weaknesses 
• Understand your conflict cycle

This one's all about strengthening relationships with your spouse and your adult child.  Tune in for some valuable insights and tips! #RelationshipsMatter

Remember, it's never too late to work on your relationship and create a positive impact on your family and future generations.

Visit One Extra-Ordinary Marriage website to review and download other free tools that  you will like.  Link to Conflict Cycle Workbook.

Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Send ideas to [email protected].

Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference.

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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Today we speak with the legendary Charles Fay, Ph.D. who, with his father Jim Fay and Dr. Foster W. Cline founded Love and Logic.  For many years parents have turned to Love and Logic for guidance for their young children.  It is a trusted research-driven, whole child approach to child-rearing.

And now - guess what?  Dr. Fay is talking about how Love and Logic works for building healthy relationships with our young adult children!

We talk about their new book coming out in March 2024 that includes a chapter on young Adults.  The book is titled, “Raising Mentally Strong Kids: How to Combine the Power of Neuroscience with Love and Logic and Grow Confident, Kind, Responsible, and Resilient Children and Young Adults”, written by neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Amen and Dr. Charles Fay.

 Dr. Fay explains:

• How the successful techniques  used with our toddlers and teens can now apply to our adult children. 
• He outlines the five Steps of Empathy and how this helps free young adults to make their decisions  -- but also live with the consequences. 
• How giving up our own control puts the power into our adult children’s hands 
• What is the risk of setting them free? 
• How can we set our own boundaries when needed and why it is important? 
• By removing the chaos we create deposits into a healthier parent-adult relationship. 

Two important takeaways:

• “We can never consistently work harder on someone else’s life than they are”
• “The more words I use, the more ineffective I become”. 

 Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.

Send ideas to [email protected].

Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. 

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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In today’s episode Denise and Kirsten chat with renowned matchmaker Rachel Greenwald. Do you ever worry your adult child will never find a partner?  Do they spend too much time with their career rather than love?  Do you feel like they are always picking the wrong person?  Today we discuss whether parents should meddle in their adult child's dating life.  Greenwald offers insights about if, when, and how to navigate this tricky  issue that impacts the whole family.  We dig deep into the changing dating world that our adults are navigating. Greenwald explains the difference between a Dating Coach, a Matchmaker, and an Online Concierge.

New York Times columnist David Brooks sparked debate about that after he published his column “To Be Happy, Marriage Matters More Than Career.”  Greenwald tells us why she agrees with Brooks and how the COVID Pandemic changed dating and relationships in a positive way.  She tells us how to approach the subject with our adult children using words that are nonjudgemental.

Listen for more on:  Skills for dating today; how dating has become about gamification;  Does coming from a divorced or challenged family impact partner choices? She discusses other options for helping  your adult child in this area of their life including dating boot camps, podcasts and books.  We will share those  links in social media.

We discuss dating for seniors too!  Remember to listen to the interesting podcast Behind the Swipe, exploring issues facing men and women over 40 navigating the confusing world of online dating.

Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Write to us at [email protected] and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!

Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. 

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Send us a text

Today we discuss the sometimes difficult, yet rewarding relationships between mothers and daughters. 

We speak with Pam Tronson, parenting coach with a special certification in mother/daughter relationships. 

The connection between a mother and daughter is one of the strongest and most important family relationships. Accepting that it can be difficult and messy is key to being able to navigate the highs and lows. Bound by love we are often disappointed when our adult relationships with our daughters don’t meet the dream we had for  that relationship. 

Pam offers solutions to help us let go of control and worry and avoid resentment. She discusses how the shame we feel, about the perceived “failed” relationship can get in the way of the repair that is needed.

Resolution only requires one person to change the trajectory of the relationship. And showing one another that they are worth the effort is impactful.

Learning to practice self-care and to love yourself is the key to setting the necessary boundaries to build better, more meaningful relationships with our daughters. 

Asking the right questions of ourselves and our daughters will help guide productive conversations. What else could be true? Am I part of the problem or part of the solution? 

And learn to stop comparing ourselves and our relationships with our daughters to what we perceive others have. 

Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
Write to us at [email protected] and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!

Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram.
Support Us here:

• Sustaining member: Small donation once a month
• A one-time virtual cup of coffee - $5

Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com 

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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We're thrilled to be joined by Julie Lythcott-Haims, the author of "How to Raise an Adult" and "Your Turn." As a former dean at Stanford University, Julie offers a unique lens to view the nuanced world of parenting, and the perils that lurk within the shadows of over-involvement.

This captivating episode is a deep dive into the challenging world of raising children into responsible adults. Julie illuminatingly discusses the societal pressures that implore parents to hover, the pitfalls of over-parenting, and her expert insights on striking the crucial balance between supporting and empowering young adults.

From discussing the financial struggles of young adults and the potential solution of multi-generational living, to the consequential impact of the political climate on their decision-making, we're crossing a vast expanse of challenges.

We stress the importance of treating adult children as independent adults, setting boundaries, and open communication.

We also delve into the nitty-gritty of different parenting styles, from authoritative to neglectful, underscoring the significance of being an authoritative parent who sets rules while demonstrating love and care.

As our children grow into adults, we discuss transitioning to a more supportive and consultative role and offering practical parenting advice. This episode is packed with profound insights and practical advice, promising to be an engaging, insightful, and enlightening discussion on raising responsible adults. So, hit the play button and let's reshape the future of our relationships with adult children together!

Link to HOW TO BE AN ADULT TED TALK WITH JULIE.

Huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Write to us at [email protected] and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!

Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. 

Support the show

The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.