Better Sex is focused on helping all couples create and enjoy their best possible sex life. Better Sex is hosted by Jessa Zimmerman who is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. Each episode will dive into one topic related to sex. Some will be devoted to addressing sexual concerns like sexual dysfunction, differences in sexual desire, and intimacy problems. Some will help you develop realistic and helpful expectations. And some will offer information and approaches that can just make your sex life better.The information and discussion on the podcast should not be taken as medical advice or as therapy. Please seek out qualified professionals for medical and therapeutic advice.
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373: Hormonal Optimization, Metabolic Health, and Longevity for Better Sex with Jay Campbell
Monday, March 16, 2026 • Duration 37:22
Sex therapist Jess Zimmerman interviews biohacker and author Jay Campbell about hormone optimization and metabolic health as foundations for wellbeing, longevity, libido, and sexual function. Campbell shares how discovering very low testosterone after a sports injury led him into researching therapeutic hormones, peptides, and lifestyle interventions, eventually writing bestselling books and a new book on GLP-1 peptides and proper microdosing with supportive lifestyle changes. They discuss endocrine disruption, common hormone deficiencies, and key labs and hormones to assess—especially free testosterone, estradiol, and progesterone—emphasizing women being underserved in testosterone therapy after the WHI. Campbell outlines symptoms like fatigue, low dopamine/brain fog, belly fat, and insulin resistance, and recommends insulin-controlled eating, resistance and cardio training, stress reduction through daily mind-stilling practices, and consistent routines to improve health and sexual wellbeing.
Jay Campbell is a 5x international bestselling author, globally recognized authority on hormone optimization, metabolic health, and longevity. He’s passionate about educating individuals on how to optimize their hormones and metabolism for long-term vitality, energy, and performance. Jay’s work helps people break free from conventional “sick-care” systems and embrace health strategies that promote longevity, peak performance, and overall well-being. He is widely recognized for his cutting-edge insights into peptides, metabolic repair, and sustainable aging.
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman shares a soapbox episode on three common apology mistakes that prevent real relationship repair. First, apologizing too quickly can skip the empathy your partner needs to feel understood, so she encourages “climbing into their movie” before taking accountability. Second, phrases like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry that happened to you” misuse “I’m sorry,” which she reserves for responsibility and remorse, and can sound judgmental; she suggests using clearer empathic language instead. Third, adding “but” after an apology turns it into an explanation or excuse that undermines repair, so an apology should fully own the specific behavior and its impact.
00:00 Show Intro
00:46 Soapbox Setup
01:22 Mistake One Too Fast
02:51 Mistake Two Misusing Sorry
04:31 Mistake Three Sorry But
05:25 Wrap Up Take Ownership
05:51 Outro And Credits
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
371: People pleasing is ruining your sex life with Darshana Avila
Monday, March 9, 2026 • Duration 38:25
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Darshana Avila (featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & Goop) about “erotic wholeness,” defined as integrating all parts of ourselves and relating to eroticism as life-force vitality that can fuel sexuality, creativity, and relationships. They explore how people-pleasing functions as a protective strategy—suppressing authenticity to maintain connection—and how it undermines both pleasure and intimacy. In long-term relationships, this often appears as partners (often women in heterosexual dynamics) not knowing what they like, feeling shame about needs such as taking longer to warm up, or fearing rejection for expressing desires. They discuss sexual scripts, shame, disappointment tolerance, consent (including Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent), and practical steps: identify people-pleasing, work with fear/scarcity, clarify authentic desires and boundaries, and build communication skills with professional and relational support.
00:00 Show Introduction
00:49 Meet Darshana Avila
01:51 Her Path to This Work
03:26 Erotic Wholeness Defined
06:18 Choiceful Self Leadership
07:32 People Pleasing Explained
09:08 How It Shows Up in Sex
12:41 Owning Desire Without Shame
15:16 Rewriting the Sex Script
18:19 Mid Episode Quiz Break
18:47 Mutuality Helps Both Partners
19:38 Mutual Desire Basics
20:24 People Pleasing Blocks Intimacy
21:26 Building Disappointment Tolerance
22:18 Shame Spirals and Meaning
23:03 Dont Yuck the Yum
23:38 Golden Shower Lesson
24:42 Responding with Gratitude
370: [Soapbox] Choose a more empowering story
Thursday, March 5, 2026 • Duration 09:42
In this soapbox episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the power of staying positive by questioning the stories and interpretations our brains create. She explains how people often react to filtered, meaning-filled perceptions rather than reality, then reinforce negative narratives—especially in relationships—by focusing on blame, hopelessness, and how stuck things feel. Jess argues this mindset is inaccurate, disempowering, and self-sabotaging because it shapes how we show up with our partners and invites defensiveness, conflict, or withdrawal. She encourages listeners to develop skepticism about their interpretations, broaden perspective, and choose thoughts and emotions that feel better and create more possibility. By focusing on what’s on “your side of the court,” including how you feel, think, and act, you can change the relational dynamic and move toward the connection you want.
00:00 Welcome to Better Sex
00:44 Soapbox Episode Setup
01:55 Why Stories Trap Us
03:35 The Cost of Negative Narratives
05:19 Challenge Your Interpretation
07:18 Control Your Side
07:42 Invitation to Shift Mindset
08:12 Outro and Credits
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Mandy Salley of the Woodhull Foundation about sexual freedom as a human right rooted in bodily autonomy and the ability to say yes or no. Mandy shares how peer sex education in college, graduate training in social work and human sexuality, and years volunteering with Woodhull led to her advocacy work blending sexuality, policy, and activism. They discuss how shame-based sex education limits curiosity and knowledge, and how free speech and online censorship affect sexual health information. Mandy outlines Woodhull’s current policy work, including opposing a proposed South Carolina abortion ban, Colorado’s trans bathroom ban, and state age-verification laws that threaten privacy and data security. She also notes concerns about intersex medical interventions and gender-affirming care bans. The episode ends with practical ways to get involved locally and how to find Woodhull’s resources.
368 [Soapbox] The transformative potential of a couples' intensive
Thursday, February 26, 2026 • Duration 10:43
In this soapbox episode of the Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explains why some couples may benefit from a couples intensive instead of weekly or biweekly therapy. She describes limits of short, spaced-out sessions—often spent catching up or addressing the latest conflict—and how real emotional breakthroughs can require uninterrupted time for nervous systems to settle, vulnerability to emerge, and old patterns to loosen. Jessa outlines how intensives provide extended, immersive hours that allow couples to stay in the process long enough to repair ruptures and gain a clearer “balcony view” of their dynamics while practicing new behaviors with in-the-moment support. She also discusses the potential for ethically guided altered-state work—specifically mentioning MDMA and psilocybin training—to reduce fear-based defenses, increase empathy, and enable difficult conversations without typical shutdown or blame. Jessa shares who might consider an intensive (repeating conflicts, unresolved rupture, separation decisions, or a desire for deeper connection) and who should not (abuse, an unwilling partner, or severe mental health issues). She emphasizes intensives are a significant investment of time, money, and energy—often 6–10 hours—but can be transformative when regular therapy hasn’t created enough traction.
00:00 Show Intro
00:46 Why Consider Intensives
01:07 Limits of Weekly Therapy
02:22 How Intensives Work
03:24 Breaking Old Patterns
04:23 Insight Into Action
05:05 Altered State Options
05:50 MDMA and Psilocybin
06:21 What Changes in Session
07:32 Who Should Consider It
08:01 When Not Recommended
08:44 Cost and Commitment
09:13 Wrap Up and Credits
Want to learn more? Visit
367: Supple, Luscious, Fuller Breasts with Jillian Wisborg
Monday, February 23, 2026 • Duration 30:42
Jessa Zimmerman interviews Jillian Wisborg, founder of Booby Grow, about a natural breast growth and firming program combining herbal supplementation, breast/nipple massage, and nutrition changes. Jillian shares that she created the program after losing weight and losing breast volume, and wanted an alternative to implants due to cost, maintenance, and reported health issues. She explains her background studying herbal medicine, how she researched plant compounds and breast health, and how her formulation evolved through trials into a lifestyle-based approach when some participants needed adequate calories and fat intake for results. The conversation covers what breasts are made of, the role of healthy fats, circulation, and estrogen receptors, and why the program emphasizes daily massage and specific herbs. They discuss broader effects some users report (without official claims), cautions around pregnancy and cancer, and an explanation of different estrogen sources including xenoestrogens and phytoestrogens.
00:00 Welcome to the Better Sex Podcast (Show Intro)
05:57 From Herbal Medicine to a Formula: Researching Plant Compounds & Early Trials
10:10 Breast Biology 101: Fat, Circulation, Massage & Estrogen Receptors
12:55 Beyond Breast Size: Other Reported Benefits + Who Shouldn’t Use It
14:44 Safety Talk: Estrogen, Xenoestrogens vs Phytoestrogens & Cancer Concerns
19:16 Is This for the Male Gaze? Choice, Body Autonomy & Postpartum Clients
21:46 Dragons’ Den/Shark Tank Experience: Pitching Booby Grow & Calls for Studies
25:31 How the Program Works: 4-Month Plan, Guarantee, Results & Maintenance
28:25 Where to Find Jillian + Final Wrap-Up
Interested in resources to bridge desire discrepancy? Go to
366: [Soapbox] Should i tell her about the viagra?
Thursday, February 19, 2026 • Duration 07:48
In this soapbox episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman responds to a coaching-call question: whether to tell a partner when you’ve taken Viagra. She describes a client who has a prescription, experiences no negative side effects, and has been taking the medication without telling his wife to avoid creating pressure or expectations for sex. Jessa explains that Viagra helps maintain an erection rather than automatically causing one, so taking it without having sex isn’t inherently harmful, but guessing can lead to mismatches—sometimes he’s prepared and sometimes he isn’t—potentially leaving his wife confused or personalizing inconsistent erections. She suggests considering a daily medication like Cialis for more spontaneity and encourages an honest conversation that leads with the intention to avoid pressure, clarifies there are no adverse effects if sex doesn’t happen, and invites the partner into shared decision-making, including the option for the partner to initiate by suggesting he take a pill if she’s interested in sex. She closes by encouraging listeners to communicate in ways that reduce pressure while increasing collaboration and connection.
00:00 Welcome to Better Sex (Podcast Intro)
00:45 Soapbox Topic: Should You Tell Your Partner You Took Viagra?
01:35 The Real Issue: Guessing, Mixed Signals & Partner Anxiety
02:08 Quick Viagra Myth-Busting: What It Does (and Doesn’t) Do
03:31 Practical Options: Daily Cialis vs. Planning Ahead
03:55 How to Bring It Up Without Creating Pressure
05:01 Invite Your Partner In: Shared Decision-Making & Desire Signals
05:59 Wrap-Up: Communicate About ED Meds as a Team
06:18 Outro, Links, Reviews & Credits
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
365: Polyagony - Common Mistakes in Ethical Non-Monogamy with Candace Sjogren
Monday, February 16, 2026 • Duration 32:35
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman speaks with Candace Sjogren about the intricacies and common mistakes involved in polyamory, as addressed in Sjogren’s book, 'Polyagony'. They discuss personal experiences, motivations behind polyamorous relationships, and essential strategies for maintaining healthy open relationships. The conversation touches on setting boundaries, ethical non-monogamy, agreements, and navigating the dynamics of multiple partners, including poly parenting. Sjogren emphasizes the importance of communication, consent, and the continuous evolution of relationship agreements.
00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast
00:49 Guest Introduction: Candace Sjogren on Polyamory
01:25 Candace's Personal Journey with Polyamory
02:13 Challenges and Advocacy in Polyamorous Relationships
03:34 The Rise of Ethical Non-Monogamy
07:09 Defining Ethical Non-Monogamy
08:33 Common Mistakes in Open Relationships
12:42 Forming Agreements in Open Relationships
16:43 Exploring Hopes and Fears in Relationships
16:59 The Importance of Moving at the Slowest Pace
17:30 Maintaining Relationship Cadence
18:02 Invitation to Share Personal Stories
18:31 Dealing with Stagnation in Relationships
20:19 Understanding Consent Within and Outside the Couple
22:26 Navigating the Role of a Hinge in Polyamory
25:04 Challenges of Poly Parenting
28:31 Group Dynamics in Polyamory
30:12 Conclusion and Resources
364: [Soapbox] Avoid the Quota Trap
Thursday, February 12, 2026 • Duration 07:29
In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the challenges of setting quotas for sexual frequency in relationships. She shares insights from a recent coaching call, emphasizing that focusing on frequency can often lead to feelings of obligation and resentment, particularly for lower desire partners. Instead, Jessa advises couples to create flexible, pressure-free spaces to nurture desire and intimacy naturally.
00:00 Introduction to Better Sex
00:46 Welcome and Episode Overview
01:02 Discussing Reasonable Amounts of Sex
02:11 The Problem with Setting Quotas
04:05 Creating Flexibility in Intimacy
05:09 Avoiding Obligation and Duty
05:37 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
05:59 Closing Remarks and Listener Engagement
06:47 Credits and Acknowledgements
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
Darshana Avila is a trauma-informed somatic educator, practitioner and international speaker who helps people reconnect with the most essential aspects of themselves — their truth, their desires, and their capacity for profound pleasure and power.
Known for her grounded, candid, and relational approach, she bridges the worlds of embodiment, emotional intelligence, and personal agency with depth and accessibility.
Darshana’s work has been featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & goop, The Guardian, The New Yorker, and numerous leading podcasts.
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
Mandy Salley brings her passion for social justice and love for humanity to the Woodhull Freedom Foundation as its Chief Operations Officer (COO). Since 2014 when she first served as a volunteer coordinator, Mandy plays an integral role at Woodhull, now managing its day-to-day operations and community efforts – from its Human Rights Commissions to the monthly Censorship of Sexual Freedom Series. Mandy is also a licensed Social Worker and has experience in inpatient hospitals, geriatric day programs, and rape crises. She is based in Brooklyn, NY.
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
Bio: I’m Jillian Wisborg — a Herbalist, Registered Nutritionist, and Clinical Iridoloist who’s been rooted in the holistic health world since 2009.
Jillian had her company Boobygrow recently featured on the show Dragon’s Den & is taking the world by storm to enrich the masses on education of herbalism for vitality.
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
If you want to share your story on the show, email us at info@intimacywithease.com
Bio:
Candace Sjogren is a lawyer, entrepreneur, and transformational leader whose work spans finance, technology, and human development. Born in Cincinnati, Ohio, she graduated from the Salmon P. Chase College of Law and practiced law before founding and leading multiple mission-driven companies. She served as CEO of Bad Girl Ventures, a microfinance firm investing in female founders, and later founded Somolend, one of the first nationally available crowdfunding platforms. Through this work, Candace played a key role in shaping the JOBS Act, the legislation that made securities-based crowdfunding legal in the United States.
Over the past fifteen years, Candace has served in senior executive and C-suite roles across venture-backed startups and global payments companies, including Chief Commercial Officer of Lynx, a healthcare payments company, and Senior Vice President of Embedded Finance at FIS, a global payments firm with more than 66,000 employees.
She is also the former co-author of Typhoon Honey: The Only Way Out Is Through, a book on emotional intelligence and transformational growth.
Today, Candace leads The Liberation Company, where she facilitates emotional intelligence, somatic healing, and identity-based workshops designed to support deep personal and collective transformation. She lives on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, with her husband Andrew, their son Ivar, and their two dogs, Pan and Cinder.
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
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