Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon – Details, episodes & analysis

Ask an Anonymous Sex Question to be featured on the next Listener Q & A episode: https://heathershannon.co/ask-a-sex-question/ 

Welcome to another episode of the Ask a Sex Therapist podcast! In today's listener Q&A, Heather Shannon dives deep into questions about sexual energy, maintaining desire in long-term relationships, understanding demisexuality and fraysexuality, and coping with feelings of loneliness while dating. Heather also shares insights about the importance of novelty in keeping sexual attraction alive and addresses the nuanced dynamics of intimacy. Don't forget to submit your questions anonymously via Heather's website for future episodes!

Links, Contact Information & Resources:

Curious about coaching? Book an Intimacy Breakthrough Call with Heather: https://heathershannon.co/video-page/ 

The YouTube channel is getting organized! Check out our playlists for libido, communication, penis owners, etc: https://www.youtube.com/@AskASexCoach/playlists 

Ep. 39 with Zachary Zane: https://youtu.be/j4zZjM18aZ0?si=7nj5fw9KlEyDOoXy 

Announcements:

Take our survey to get more personalized content from me (less than 1 min) - https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/personalize-emails 

Libido Course Now Available in the App for $10 off the usual price! $39 instead of $49

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ask-a-sex-therapist/id6476728826 

Grace is coming on the team as my apprentice Intimacy Coach! Request a free consultation with Grace here: https://calendly.com/grace_teacherbyrd/15min 

Hello everyone! In this episode of 'Ask a Sex Therapist,' host Heather Shannon is joined by Dr. Eric Fitzmedrude, a specialist in relationship and sexual issues, as they delve into the intricacies of male sexuality, high desire, and the importance of emotional fulfillment in masturbation. Dr. Fitzmedrude shares his personal journey with infidelity and how it led him to explore open relationships, emphasizing the need for self-awareness and effective communication. The discussion also covers the value of consent, overcoming patriarchal wounds, and finding balance within diverse sexual needs. Listeners are encouraged to embrace vulnerability, cultivate intimate connections, and explore their desires ethically, with an invitation to explore Dr. Fitzmedrude’s book, 'The Better Man,' for deeper insights.

Links, Contact Information & Resources:

Dr. Eric’s Website and Book Link: https://www.drericfitz.com/the-better-man/ 

Similar Youtube Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNk9UKFYOfS7PNz68eMvmu6WdX8hhg8rx

🫂Are you non-monogamous or exploring non-monogamy? If so, join Heather's ENM Support Squad Wednesdays at 4pm Eastern starting on July 24th. You can register here --> https://www.eventbrite.com/e/922588806957?aff=oddtdtcreator

🧑‍🎓We are looking for a podcast intern (must be 18+)! Email [email protected] if you're interested.

📱Download Heather's new iOS app here: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/heather-shannon-therapist/id6476728826

ABOUT THE EPISODE

Hey, lovely listeners! Today we’re tackling some deeply interesting listener questions about vaginismus, guilty pleasures, and sexual fantasies. Trust me, you don't want to miss this one--my cat even makes an appearance! 🌟🐾

We're chatting about practical strategies for managing vaginismus, letting go of guilt when it comes to pleasure, and exploring when sexual fantasies are helpful and when they're actually preventing connecting with your real life partner. Whether you're on the road or walking your dog, tune in for some enlightening and heartfelt advice. 💫

What You'll Learn:

🌬️ The importance of natural breathing and pelvic floor relaxation.

🌸 Navigating the sensitive topic of vaginismus and its emotional impact.

💭 What to do when you're attracted to your partner in your mind, but not in practice.

🤔 The importance of feeling emotionally safe when it comes to sex.

🪞 The beauty of letting go of shame and fully enjoying your pleasures.

Click play and let's make this episode of "Ask A Sex Therapist" a highlight of your week! 🎧❤️

00:00 Announcements including courses and community forum.

06:14 Difficulty achieving pleasure and anxiety over intercourse.

09:58 Options for treatment for vaginismus and resources.

11:58 Males have diverse sexual preferences and beliefs.

15:43 "Existential Kink" explores embracing and transforming shame.

19:31 Understanding and supporting partner with erectile dysfunction.

22:29 Emotional safety is crucial for libido.

24:28 Difficulty with sex might stem from emotions.

27:32 Free dirty talk guide for podcast listeners.

~~~

GET THE INTIMACY AUDIT FREE MINI COURSE (discover what’s blocking YOUR sex life!)

https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/intimacyaudit

APPLY FOR HEATHER’S INTIMACY INFUSION PROGRAM 

https://HeatherShannon.co/video-page 

HEATHER’S WEBSITE

https://HeatherShannon.co

ASK A SEX THERAPIST INSTAGRAM 

https://instagram.com/askasextherapist (Join the podcast’s broadcast channel!)

HEATHER’S INSTAGRAM (new!) 

https://instagram.com/SexTherapistHeather 

YOUTUBE CHANNEL & VIDEO VERSION OF PODCAST 

https://youtube.com/@askasexcoach 

SIMILAR EPISODES

• 071: The Top 5 Sex Blockers - https://pod.fo/e/22a9d3
• 079 Listener Q & A - https://pod.fo/e/23dfe4

THEMES EXPLORED

sex therapy, libido, masturbation, sexual intimacy, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, endometriosis, internal family systems, podcasting course, sexual censorship, non-monogamy, sex education, sexual anxiety, clitoral orgasm, dilator therapy, pelvic floor physical therapy, sexual pleasure, relationship intimacy, fantasy during sex, sexual arousal, shame and stigma, attachment...

Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here. https://podfollow.com/AskASexTherapist 

*****

Ever thought about being in a throuple? Regardless of whether it's for you, I bet you're curious about this unique relationship structure!

Tune in with Heather's guests, Dr. Rachael Meir and her partners Aaron and Casey for a truly unique episode.

Get answers to your questions like:

• Is sex always a threesome?
• What's the biggest perk of being in a 3-person relationship?
• How do they handle living in a world made for 2-person relationsihps?
• Is doing household chores really easier with 3 people?

Plus, find out what monogamous people can learn from polyamorous relationships!

*****

WORK WITH HEATHER:

Apply for a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call to learn about Heather’s coaching services. 

LET’S CONNECT! FIND HEATHER HERE ⤵️:

Heather’s Website - https://HeatherShannon.co 

@AskASexTherapist Instagram

Heather’s YouTube - Check out the video version of this podcast & more! - https://www.youtube.com/@AskASexCoach  

SIMILAR EPISODE

Episode 13 - Is monogamy realistic? https://pod.fo/e/166e5e 

CONNECT WITH OUR GUESTS!

@TriadAndTrue TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@triadandtrue?lang=en

@TriadAndTrue IG - https://www.instagram.com/triadandtrue/?hl=en

Dr. Rachael Meir Website - https://www.drrachaelmeir.com/

🎧 Hey there, curious minds! Are you wondering if you're simply blessed with a high libido or if you have a sex or porn addiction? Or maybe you've been wondering if your partner's porn behavior is healthy. Today, I unpack the differences between having a healthy, high sex drive and what it looks like when things turn into a compulsion.

I'll also sprinkle in some tips on how to balance that fiery drive without letting it take over your life. This is one episode will finally offer you clarity on what is problematic and what is simply hot and spicy. 🌶️

Tune in to Discover:

- The difference between a high libido and sex addiction

- How to identify if sexual behaviors are interfering with your life

- The role of shame and stigma in compulsive behaviors

- The benefits of self-acceptance and open communication

- Treatment options and resources for those who need it

Time Stamps:

00:00 Intro to podcast and today's topic

04:40 Physical health and mental well-being affect sex drive.

08:54 Understanding sexual needs, communication, and signs of addiction.

11:43 Embracing mindfulness, and a healthy lifestyle.

15:09 Moderate porn consumption can enhance sexuality.

19:02 Using sex or masturbation as stress relief.

20:40 Sex and love addicts Anonymous's dating rule.

24:11 Rehab center options and resources for addiction.

Episode Links:

Heather's Website - https://HeatherShannon.co Book a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call, grab Heather's freebies, check out podcast transcripts and more!

Podcast Instagram - https://instagram.com/AskASexTherapist Join the broadcast channel to vote on podcast topics!

Leave a voicemail question for our next Listner Q & A episode or give podcast feedback for Heather - https://HeatherShannon.co/podcast

Submit an anonymous sex question for our next Listener Q & A episode - https://heathershannon.co/ask-a-sex-question/

Themes and Keywords We Explore

sex addiction, high sex drive, compulsive sexual behavior, sex therapy, porn addiction, certified sex therapist, AASECT, out of control sexual behavior, internal family systems, mindfulness, impulsivity, masturbation, sexual stigma, dopamine, risky behavior, emotional dysregulation, 12-step groups, SMART recovery, sex therapists, rehab centers, sexual validation.

Click "Follow" to subscribe to the show! Don't miss future episodes on being in a throuple, sexual astrology, listener Q & A and more!

👉 https://podfollow.com/AskASexTherapist

Show Summary

In this delightful episode of "Ask A Sex Therapist," I interview the legendary Dr. Betty Martin about the magical realms of mindful touch and the captivating Wheel of Consent. And she makes me cry, LOL! 🥹

🌟 Dr. Martin shares her experiences and teachings from decades of touching people. As we explore her book The Art of Receiving and Giving, let's explore a place where boundaries are respected, desires are honored, and pleasure is celebrated. 🌈

Join us as we learn about the transformative power of intentional touch and the art of giving and receiving with openness and authenticity. Your sex life is about to get a major upgrade!🌺

What You'll Learn:

🛞 Discover the concept of "the Wheel of Consent" and its profound impact on understanding giving and receiving in physical touch.

🤗Uncover the dynamics of touch within relationships through the lens of Dr. Betty Martin's insightful quadrants - serve, accept, take, and allow.

🙏 Learn how past conditioning and experiences can hinder our ability to ask for what we want and embrace our desires with confidence.

⏳ Explore the transformative potential of the "Three Minute Game" in healing past wounds and building trust in setting boundaries and expressing needs.

💡 Gain insights into the importance of non-sexual touch and affection in fostering intimacy and connection in relationships. 💫

✨ Press play for some essential knowledge when it comes to sensuality, sex and touch! 🎧💖

Time Stamps

00:00 Wheel of consent: A recurring, focused practice.

04:02 Difficulty in receiving limits our ability to give.

11:01 The wheel of consent: 2 questions, 3 minutes.

17:49 Learning to notice and accept personal boundaries.

26:54 Touch is a primary human need, not sex.

30:20 Interpreting body language and its impact. Matrix design.

33:18 Setting boundaries during physical intimacy conversation.

37:06 Realizing my eroticism belongs to me.

39:05 Chiropractic office transitioned to interactive sex coaching.

43:39 Grateful for amazing work on the wheel.

Heather's Links

Heather's Website - https://HeatherShannon.co Book a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call, grab Heather's freebies, check out podcast transcripts and more!

Podcast Instagram - https://instagram.com/AskASexTherapist Join the broadcast channel to vote on podcast topics!

Leave a voicemail question for our next Listner Q & A episode or give podcast feedback for Heather - https://HeatherShannon.co/podcast

Submit an anonymous sex question for our next Listener Q & A episode - https://heathershannon.co/ask-a-sex-question/

Dr Betty Martin's Links

Dr Martin's Website - https://bettymartin.org/

Wheel of Consent Book Website - https://wheelofconsentbook.com/ Grab a free chapter!

Themes and Keywords

Dr. Betty Martin, sacred intimate, surrogate partner, safety concerns, wheel of consent, workshops for sexuality professionals, boundaries, limits, physical intimacy, non-sexual touch, cuddling, making out, sexual acts, pleasure, intimacy, body positivity, somatic sex educator, communication, asking for what you want, past conditioning, verbalizing desires, challenges, transitions, eroticism, vulnerability, integrity.

Enjoy this episode of wild audience questions (and I have more we didn't even get to!)

1. A husband dealing with disability turns to porn and his wife wants to know how to handle it.
2. A husband who isn't getting any at home tries to join a gangbang . . . but it doesn't go according to plan.
3. She loves her boyfriend, but he's got some odd behavior when it comes to sex and she wants some help navigating his surprising behavior.

Want to submit a question to be featured on our next Listener Q & A episode?

1. Leave a voice message at https://HeatherShannon.co/podcast. You can even use a fake name!
2. Write-in a totally anonymous message at https://heathershannon.co/ask-a-sex-question/

P.S. Sorry for the late release time of this episode--we had a problem with the editors and had to switch last minute! If you are an experienced audio/video editor and want to take over production of this show, email Heather at [email protected] ASAP!

🔥 Ever wondered what’s behind your deepest sexual fantasies? This week on Ask A Sex Therapist, Artemisia De Vine joins Heather to chat about erotic fantasies. Artemisia, with her extensive background as a professional dominatrix and sex worker, helps us understand when it feels safe to explore fantasies by getting past our own internal protectors. It’s about finding that balance between the taboo and what feels acceptable to us. Tune in and learn how you can make your fantasies a reality!

👂 What you'll learn:

- The psychological underpinnings of common sexual fantasies

- How exploring these desires can lead to profound states of consciousness

- The importance of the ego and desire in shaping our erotic experiences

- Strategies to embrace and integrate your fantasies for healthier intimacy

- Artemisia's unique perspective on overcoming societal guilt and shame linked to sexual preferences

Timestamps for some of the key moments in our conversation:

• 01:45 - Artemisia Divine's unique introduction to the world of sexual fantasy
• 08:34 - Overcoming societal and religious impact on sexuality
• 15:22 - The vital role of presence and psychological understanding in sexual experiences
• 23:50 - Decoding the complex symbolism of personal sexual fantasies
• 29:18 - Combining fear and desire within fantasies to achieve balance
• 37:55 - The transformative potential of sexual fantasies in relationships
• 42:44 - The intricate workings of Artemisia's "Divinery Method"
• 51:22 - Emotional aftershocks: Navigating arousal and shame
• 58:17 - Dissecting cuckolding fantasies: Importance of the "antidote"
• 67:00 - The connection between sexual fantasy and spiritual journey

🎧 Don't miss this enlightening exploration into the complexity of human desire - press play now!.

GET THE INTIMACY AUDIT FREE MINI COURSE (discover what’s blocking YOUR sex life!)

https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/intimacyaudit

APPLY FOR HEATHER’S INTIMACY INFUSION COACHING PROGRAM 

https://HeatherShannon.co/video-page 

HEATHER’S WEBSITE

https://HeatherShannon.co

ASK A SEX THERAPIST INSTAGRAM 

https://instagram.com/askasextherapist (Join the podcast’s broadcast channel to weigh in on future topics!)

HEATHER’S INSTAGRAM (new!) 

https://instagram.com/SexTherapistHeather 

YOUTUBE CHANNEL & VIDEO VERSION OF PODCAST 

https://youtube.com/@askasexcoach 

🎉 Learn about Expanded Orgasm with this free guide! 👉 Expand Her Orgasm Tonight (2.0)

Ready to unlock the secrets to more and better orgasms? 🎉 This week on "Ask a Sex Therapist," we're tackling one of your favorite topics—orgasms! Whether you're chasing your very first climax or looking to make those peaks a more common part of your bedroom repertoire, this episode has something for you. Join Heather Shannon as she explores everything from breaking mental barriers to practical tips for heightened pleasure, all with her signature blend of humor and expertise. Don't miss out on these game-changing insights!

What you’ll learn in this episode:

- 🧠 The mental blocks that might be killing your vibe and how to overcome them.

- ✨ How different sensations could dramatically change your sexual experiences.

- 🔄 The importance of security and attachment in improving your orgasm frequency.

- 🔍 Masturbation tips and why knowing your body is crucial.

- 🚀 Techniques to boost orgasm probability if you already enjoy them but want more.

Tap in to discover the secrets to a sensational sex life. Grab your headphones and listen today! 🎧👉

GET THE INTIMACY AUDIT FREE MINI COURSE (discover what’s blocking YOUR sex life!)

https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/intimacyaudit

APPLY FOR HEATHER’S INTIMACY INFUSION COACHING PROGRAM 

https://HeatherShannon.co/video-page 

HEATHER’S WEBSITE

https://HeatherShannon.co

ASK A SEX THERAPIST INSTAGRAM 

https://instagram.com/askasextherapist (Join the podcast’s broadcast channel to weigh in on future topics!)

HEATHER’S INSTAGRAM (new!) 

https://instagram.com/SexTherapistHeather 

YOUTUBE CHANNEL & VIDEO VERSION OF PODCAST 

https://youtube.com/@askasexcoach 

EPISODE LINKS

• Ep 5 The Clitoris - Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon: 005 The Clitoris on Apple Podcasts
• Ep 22 The Orgasm Gap - ‎Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon: 022 The Orgasm Gap with Dr. Laurie Mintz on Apple Podcasts
• Ep 48 The Magic of Masturbation - ‎Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon: 048: The Magic of Masturbation: More Presence, More Pleasure on Apple Podcasts
• Ep 56 Female Arousal with Susan Bratton - Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon: 056: Female Arousal with Susan Bratton on Apple Podcasts

🌟 Feeling stuck in your love life or overwhelmed by stress? Tune in to this game-changing episode of "Ask A Sex Therapist," where we sit down with emotional healing coach Allison Jayne to uncover transformative techniques for personal growth and better relationships! Allison shares her expertise on EFT tapping, a simple yet potent method to rewire your brain for more positive outcomes. Whether you're battling feelings of unworthiness in dating or just trying to navigate the waves of modern love, this is the episode that might just turn your world around! 🌈👫

🎧 In this episode, you'll discover:

- How EFT tapping can help you overcome trauma and reduce stress.

- The role of your subconscious self-concept in your romantic relationships.

- Strategies to combat the scarcity mindset in online dating.

- Practical tips for using EFT tapping to enhance your dating experience.

- Allison's inspirational journey from tapping novice to emotional healing maestro.

Don't miss out on these remarkable insights! Tune in now to transform your approach to love and personal wellness! 🎶💖

GET THE INTIMACY AUDIT FREE MINI COURSE (discover what’s blocking YOUR sex life!)

https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/intimacyaudit

APPLY FOR HEATHER’S INTIMACY INFUSION PROGRAM 

https://HeatherShannon.co/video-page 

HEATHER’S WEBSITE

https://HeatherShannon.co

ASK A SEX THERAPIST INSTAGRAM 

https://instagram.com/askasextherapist (Join the podcast’s broadcast channel!)

HEATHER’S INSTAGRAM (new!) 

https://instagram.com/SexTherapistHeather 

YOUTUBE CHANNEL & VIDEO VERSION OF PODCAST 

https://youtube.com/@askasexcoach 

SIMILAR EPISODES (where I cover more obstacles that could be blocking your sex life!)

SHOW NOTES FOR WEBSITE —-(Update Heather’s website with slightly modified show notes for SEO)

Sample: https://heathershannon.co/e4/